I’m waiting for “House GOP Gets a Boehner”. It seems so obvious. Maybe that’s why no one has said it.

I’m almost surprised that they didn’t elect Blunt, since he was the “DeLay lite” option. ‘Course, DeLay was the “Dick Armey-lite” option when he was made Majority Leader, so sometimes that “lite” option isn’t as appealing as it might seem. Also, Boehner seems like a fundie psuchopath, so this should go well.

Blunt: I’ll Lick Boehner!

After DeLay, Can Boehner Last?

To Help DeLay, Republicans Put Squeeze on Boehner

Boehner red in the face over greased palms.

Boehner Machine Modeled After Dick Armey

Two martini lunches to continue despite Boehner.

“Boehner Rises in GOP Ranks.”

Reformers predict no teeth on Boehner’s legislation.

-clearly I am engrossed (engorged?)

Boehner rose to the occasion, head held high, but Blunt got smoked.

Boehner inserted in leadership position.

Boehner Back and Forth On Drilling

“Boehner excited by new position”

Boehner rises, free of Jack Abrhamoff taint.

Sorry, I thought I decided not to submit it yesterday because it was so juvenile. As it turns out, I had no shame yesterday either.

I suspect we’ll soon see headlines like “Boehner in sticky situation” and “Boehner withdraws”, but in the inrerim lets hope he visits Titicaca, Djibouti, and Puerto Yomamma.

Ooh, or how about forecasting “Boehner included in Abramoff probe” or “Major cock up in the house: Boehner caught in Abramoff hole?” “Boehner blown?” “Boehner muffed it?”

Too bad his first name isn’t Richard; I can see the headline now… “Dick Boehner Hard Up.”

tigrismus-I think your headlines are slightly too anglophonic for American newpapers.

Additionally, watching the Simpsons today reminded me that Matt Groening pronounces his oe like an A also, so I guess Boehner’s (I’m sure vastly) preferred pronunciation is not totally fabricated.