I’ve Officially Hit Rock Bottom
I admit it: I like picking on easy targets. Whether I’m ridiculing syntactically-challenged priests who sit a home all day writing incomprehensible columns on the dangers of homo nups and murderers international, or mocking glue-huffing right-wing divas whose outfits look like the upholstery on a pimp’s Cadillac, I tend to lampoon writers whose ideas are rather easily refuted. The reason I enjoy doing this is because I can get a lot of cheap laughs without doing any intellectual heavy-lifting, let alone intensive fact-checking.
With that said, the writer I’m about to mock is almost below even my standards. Seriously, he’s gotta be the lowest-hanging fruit at the bottom of the fish barrel. He’s a man who needs no real introduction, since I’m sure you all remember him from his days in the World Wrestling Federation. After retiring from the ring in 1999, he went on to do a somewhat-successful lecture series on college campuses, speaking about the importance of conservative values at the behest of College Republican chapters all over the nation. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I’m referring to Mr. Brian James Hellwig, a.k.a., THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!
To get an idea of the Warrior’s awesome intellectual powers, let’s examine a column he wrote last October attacking all those whiny-assed ass whiner asses in New Orleans who were crying just because some hurricane ruined their lives:
10/03/2005: “Fishing is Great in New Orleans, it’s the Attitudes that Suck. “
Some of you believed my fishing trip picture was insensitive. Not p/c. Funny, I never recognized that this bothered me. I appreciate though that you attempted to bring it to my attention.
Frankly, I couldn’t help myself, having tired of the negative whines and howling cries of victimization, and also the lack of direct attention on the incompetents running the government down there.
Here is the picture the Warrior posted on his website:
He wrote the following caption to go along with it: “I just got back from a fishing trip down around New Orleans. Fishing is exceptionally good down there right now.”
And for the life of him, he can’t imagine why anyone would be offended by this “joke.” I honestly can’t decide whether that’s incredibly stupid or incredibly awesome (or, most likely, both).
OK, back to the column:
Yes, there were tragic instances. But giving airtime only to wacky, pessimistic, irrational voices (as media across the board did–even FOX) was just too much for me to tolerate for too long. Anyone who expresses sentiments like “How could they let this hurricane come here and do this to our lives?â€? is a kook as far as I am concerned.
So anyone who gets upset when hurricane destroys their house is a kook as far as the Warrior is concerned.
Those that somehow believe people are directly to blame for the happening of a natural catastrophe don’t deserve to be heard. In fact, they should to be told to shut the hell up. These kinds of people contribute nothing toward repairing things to a better state. Truth is, these people thrive on despair and disarray. Chaos — mentally and physically and in the way they conduct their lives — is nothing new to them. They forge their whole lives in and around it. This hurricane to them was nothing more than like rearranging the furniture.
I can’t remember the last time rearranging furniture caused the destruction of an entire fucking city, Warrior…
If we could be shown what general conditions they lived in before the hurricane, we would see that had little respect for what they did have. We would see just how unorganized, unclean and dysfunctionally they lived. They never gave a care for order, cleanliness or function before, but now that they can get someone’s attention who will possibly take over the responsibility of their life for them, they go on these tirades about how their life has been ruined. Their lives were already in ruin — self ruin. Ruined by the bad choices they made over and over.
Yeah, seriously. I personally think the hurricane was kind of a blessing, since it gave those lazy welfare queens some incentive to move their lazy asses off the couch.
(This is why I love the Warrior, incidentally: he can always find the silver lining in the darkest of circumstances.)
Beginning with the choice to sit on their ass expecting someone else to hand them a wonderful, beautiful, healthy and wealthy life. And excuse me for being the one to say so, but if you have a dozen kids and no husband to be a father, there are some ‘holes’ in your life plan that should be sewed up.
He’s talking about the belly-button, right?
Everyone makes mistakes, but only stupid people make the same ones over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
And only stupid writers think it strengthens their point when they write “and over” over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Why should reasonable people have any sympathy for those that do this, when they have absolutely none for the helpless dependent children they go ahead and bring into the world when they know they don’t even have their own life act together?
Indeed, reasonable people have sympathy for neither the parents nor the children, who are simply mini welfare-queens-in-training.
Continuing to have children when you know the man who plants the seed is not going to be around to help in the raising and when you can’t afford to even raise the ones you already have, is stupid.
And writing rambling run-on sentences when you don’t know what point you’re trying to make where the point that
was orginally to be made was different from the point you might have then never made, is also stupid.
These kind of people are the ones I am talking about when I say there are those who need to sit down, shut up and just get the hell out of the way. These people should be thankful all humans are not undisciplined, promiscuous, depressing, doom-and-gloom maniacs like them. Some of us care to do better all the time, make better the quality of our lives day in and day out, not just in the face of disaster when someone else will do the work and pick up the bill. Hell, if all people were like these, it wouldn’t only be New Orleans that was a toilet bowl right now, and it wouldn’t be so because a hurricane caused it. It would be because people didn’t give a damn about making something better out of their lives and, thereby, contributing something better back into the world.
So remember kids: when the Warrior thought it’d really cool to make himself puke in the middle of a wrestling match, he was doing it to make the world a better place.
“I’m only shoving your head in my groin because I care!”
I’m sick of hearing how you must have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth to have one.
Yeah, so stop saying the only way to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth is to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth! Tautologies make Warrior angry!
Natural disasters happen and there is only so much we humans can do to mitigate the consequences they throw down on us. It’s real simple. Francis Bacon said: “For nature to be commanded it must first be obeyed.” Mankind has, indeed, come a long way and figured out many things. But when Mother Nature throws a fit you better do more than just duck — you better relocate until Her madness dies down. Get married if you aren’t and you’ll get the hang of this drill rather quickly. There’s a reason why it’s called Mother Nature. lol….
lol making sexist jokes is almost as much fun as laughing at hurricane victims!
It’s funny that whenever government — local, state or federal — has a problem within itself, it never begins its investigation at the start to discover what went wrong, first.
It looks like the Warrior’s a graduate of the Kaye Grogan School of Comma, Use.
And when you approach problem solving this way, the true reasons for failures don’t get found or acknowledged, nor do problems ever get solved. Even in the simplest life instances this does not work. If I have a problem to handle of any kind, I can’t just skip some of the preliminary and overall steps that have created and brought the problem to whatever stage it may be at. I can’t just demand a different starting point where I want to begin to figure out what went wrong. I can’t do this to others and I can’t allow that it be done to me. It’s nuts and it is not how real life works. You don’t get to know how a problem began if you refuse to go and start at the beginning — and assign blame, there, if it is due. If two wrongs don’t make a right, as they say, then pointing out the first wrong is something we should make pretty damn important.
I’ve completely lost track of what the hell he’s talking about.
So many of those so much smarter than you and I claim it would be outright indecent right now to assign blame. This is bs. Since when has acting indecent ever been a problem politicians and bureaucrats are bothered by? They do this all the time and are even proud of it. No, the true problem is getting a politician or bureaucrat to own up to the blame they need to accept in the first place. All of them know that NONE of them can or will do it, so, collectively, they give one another a pass and shitcan assigning blame, altogether.
Uhm, Warrior? DIdn’t you spend the whole first half of this article ridiculing poor people who blamed politicians?
Now, Bush and his “compassionate conservatismâ€? is going to allow OUR government to green light legal looting. $200 billion has been tossed around as the figure the Federal govt. is going to kick in. This works out to be about a half million per citizen just for starters, and this does not include billions of dollars of private charitable contributions. Turns out none of the humans who turned savage ‘round about the 48 hour mark were truly raped as the New Orleans Police Chief literally tearfully cried to Oprah Winfrey, but now all the law-abiding, taxpaying citizens, not of New Orleans, are going to be bent over and constitutionally sodomized. We are a great nation, yes — a great nation with a great population of mostly weak, stupid, undisciplined and dependent people. The majority of our citizenry are emotional, psychological wrecks just hoping and waiting for someone to rescue them for the responsibility of their life. Mind you, this says a whole HELL of a lot about how just POWERFUL, EFFICIENT and PRODUCTIVE the rest are.
Did he really just say that people in New Orleans never pay taxes? What the hell is he talking about?
OK, I simply cannot follow this trainwreck of thought anymore, and it’s giving me a headache. So let’s just skip to the end:
Funny thing, though, listening to all those damn God hypocrites — they got The Book, but not the belief. If they had it, they’d have to reveal a sense of humor about all this. Again, what do you really believe? The Creator they all claim to believe in has His own sense of humor, has His own way of having fun with us human beings. When you think about that He owns it all — time and everything else — and we get only 60, 70, 80, maybe 100 years, death isn’t really something we should take too seriously too much of the time. My advice is to really believe in the bigger picture, and while you have life, do the living of it seriously. Death, which is inevitable, will take care of itself.
If I’m reading that correctly, the Warrior is saying that God sent a hurricane to kill thousands of people and ruin millions of lives just so He could have a quick larf. Furthermore, he says that we shouldn’t bother feeling sorry for the people on the Gulf Coast because we’re all going to die anyway, and heck, the whole situation is pretty funny if you look at it the right way.
OK. Wow. I just… woof. I think that’s the closest a wingnut column has ever come to giving me outright organ failure. You bastards better appreicate the suffering I endure for your petty amusement…
This is a new low. I’m used to these wingers revealing their hypocrisy subtly, but never contradicting the entire first half of their posts without even attempting to conceal their hypocrisy.
Actually, you could see that picture as making fun of Bush and his “let them eat cake” attitude. But The Warrior sees it as “Ha ha, those people who are mostly black and whom I describe as having all the sterotypical features of black people but whom I don’t actually call black are getting wet!”
Hysterical woman- yeah, I know it’s open to interpretation. But like most of his column, it just doesn’t make any goddamn sense.\
this guy came to my school. He was a complete asshat and the Hitler Youth had to issue apologies to the student body and various groups whom he offended.
One of his best lines was when an Iranian-American student stepped up to ask a question, he asked him if he needed a towel. Hilarious!
Of course, the Republicans got to pull their PCU conspiracy and invite Ann Coulter this year, and then pretend to be outraged when all the liberals booed.
Anyway, he is a Wanker, but still probably makes more sense than Coulter.
(PS does not work for peon commenters?)
PPS – he officially changed his name to ‘Warrior.’
oops, that was supposed to be that wasn’t working.
ok, it was strike that wasnt working. sorry, I should have at least previewed the second time…
Launa – Ooh, is there a copy of these apologies online somewhere? I love observing college republicans squirm, and a forced apology could be very juicy indeed!
The picture is a fairly accurate representation of Bush’s real response, and if paired with snark of appropriate caliber could bring sweet joy to the long-suffering multitudes. Alas, Mr. Warrior had to go and ruin it by being dimmer than a 1/2 watt bulb.
Those that somehow believe people are directly to blame for the happening of a natural catastrophe don’t deserve to be heard.
There’s a big strawman over at World O’Crap right now too.
The “Warrior” was featured as Awful Link of the Day on Something Awful. Not long afterwards, Somewthing Awful recieved an e-mail threatening legal action. The subsequent e-mail exchange was extremely funny.
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2790
The guy really is a tool.
Don’t fall for this ‘heel’ schtick, Brad R! Mr. McMahon plans on having Warrior turn ‘babyface’ when Raw hits New Orleans in six weeks for the ‘When the Levee Falls’ pay-per-view special. The script calls for Warrior to drown the Undertaker in the flooded streets of the Crescent City before tossing his corpse from the top of the Superdome.
On a serious note, this was maybe my favorite Warrior line:
“Turns out none of the humans who turned savage ‘round about the 48 hour mark were truly raped as the New Orleans Police Chief literally tearfully cried to Oprah Winfrey …”
There is just so much to love about the above sentence. First, it takes a truly endearing obliviousness to the most basic principles of logic to first name people “savages”, then deny any actual savagery took place. Furthermore, it would seem that by Warrior’s tortured reasoning, the definition of a “savage” is someone who gets raped. Totally finally, apparently literally Warrior thinks adverbs are positively intensely better when they come in twos.
You bastards better appreciate the suffering I endure for your petty amusement…
Heh. I always wondered how long you brave souls, you who shield us, your hapless charges, from the brain-ficasseeing wingnut rays, would last before you start resenting us.
Whoa!
he started out only slightly out there…
the pic is actually a little funny, but APPARENTLY, his intended message was the worst case scenario.
Those welfare queens can throw one hell of a party though.
Dammit, Brad, this isn’t even a low-hanging fruit exercise for you. You’re just hoping to get a C&D letter from the guy, like Something Awful did.
I can only hope it eases the pain of not being trolled by Swank.
Then I hit rock bottom back in April 2005, but at least I mentioned Leapin’ Lanny Poffo before getting there.
Leapin Lanny Poffo? That dude with the frisbees?
Is it true that Macho Man Randy Savage is his brother?
Slightly off there – $200 billion/300 million = $666, not $500,000. Still, what’s 3 orders of magnitude between loonies?
Jesus tapdancing Christ. It’s hardly the worst thing about that screed, but why do conservatives find it so hard to understand that you can work hard, have a nuclear family, lead a perfectly moral private life and still be dirt poor?
Leapin Lanny Poffo? That dude with the frisbees?
Is it true that Macho Man Randy Savage is his brother?
Yes, it is true. The Genius was a much better gimmick than Leaping Lanny.
If Brad’s brain explodes while reading one of UW’s rants, I apologize in advance for giving him this idea.
Well, to give The Warrior some credit, I do remember the National Weather Service warnings before Katrina: “This is a category 5 storm. Extreme human suffering is probable. All citizens are urged to move to higher ground. All unwed mothers are strongly cautioned to tie the knot immediately.”
There was some kerfluffle when this idiot came to talk at my university a couple of years ago, and the papers constantly referred to him as “Mr. Warrior.”
This still cracks me up.
There’s only one thing about me, the guy who did Ultimate Warrior, you have correct right now — “He was intense.” That hasn’t changed. Never will. But about everything else — get ready for the lesson of your life. Around here, misconceptions are accustomed to being destroyed.
I created Ultimate Warrior, I own Ultimate Warrior (as an Intellectual Property) and I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER performed him — AND I AM NOT DEAD.
Warrior’s not the only person to have their name legally changed to their ring name. I believe the late Rick Rood had his name changed to Ravishing Rick Rude to get around copyright laws when he left the WWF.
“Warrior” is correct, there has only been one Ultimate Warrior, and aside from Brian Lee being the Fake Undertaker, Mark Calloway is the only person to wrestle under that personna.
There have been, however, many Doink the Clowns.
Warrior: uh, dude – maybe you should stick to what you know instead of socio-political issues.
You know, like getting chairs smashed across your face and stuff.
Wrestlers, Brad? Wrestlers?!
OK, so it’s just one wrestler…
Anyhoo…
Gee. I sure sounds like somebody’s advocating teh abortions here. Hmm…!
That one’s easy. Sure, many would assume that he means laying the blame where it belongs: on the Clenis. But, no, he really means going back and finding out where all these problems got started in the first place, and pointing the responsibility there. So, ladies & germs, I give you the true culprits behind the Katrina disaster: Eve and the snake.
When I reads me some Swankiness, I laugh. When Kaye Grogan huffs and hits the keyboard, I guffaw. But this shit is scary, ’cause he’s not alone in his beliefs, and there’s a tool or three reading the same excrement I just did and nodding in agreement.
Wait, wasn’t Poffo also a poet ala Nipsey Russel?
Because that shit was gold, Jerry! Gold!
Sure, paper tigers, pick on the guy with the pecs. Rip on the Republican because he’s ripped. This may sound a little cold, but you guys are just jealous because the only six packs you can call your own are the ones sitting in your refridgerators. These are all cheap shots. Put your muscles where your mouths are. I dare any of you to challenge him in the ring. After about 20 seconds, you’d be taking back all of your whimpy words and calling him “Uncle Warrior!”
That’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Internet Tough Guy card played by proxy. Well played, Sir Troll. well played indeed.
I couldn’t read to the end. Did he ever get around to using the n-word?
He may not be as smart as our next president, Newt Gingrich, but he’s smart enough to know that the right-wing ring is the winning one.
There you are, Bruce. Still looking up those red letters I guess.
Thanks, GoatBoy. And I sense in your comment a subtle hint that you’d like to take him on in the ring, am I right? Great, then I’ll have my people call his people and we’ll set the whole thing up.
He’d win. I’d be disqualified for pulling his bottom lip off and stomping on his steroid raisins.
Oh, yeah, you claim to be so tough, but how do we all know that those who have seen you in person don’t call you BloatBoy?
I GOT THE BELT!!!!!
I GOT THE BELT!!!!!
He’s sorry for the low blow, aren’t you, sandwich doc?
Arbeit macht frie, you weenies.
I GOT THE BELT!!!!!
I GOT THE BELT!!!!!
That may be mmm…lemonheads, but he’s got the BIBLE BELT on his side.
No apology is forthcoming, neoconartist, not until I see whether I’ve knocked him out, or, if not, what his next left hook is going to look like.
“Rip on the Republican because he’s ripped.”
Erhhmm…no. Try “because he’s an idiot.”
“Arbeit macht frie, you weenies.”
Das geleftin gewingegin bin mockigen du, das Warrior. Kant de pickegen on some-eins dar own gesizegen?
Sorry, my German is a little rusty, it’s been awhile since I nearly flunked German in High School.
Sorry guys, but I must agree w/ one thing he said…
The Creator they all claim to believe in has His own sense of humor, has His own way of having fun with us human beings.
Ladies and gentlemen…Exhibit A. The Author!
We would see just how unorganized, unclean and dysfunctionally they lived. They never gave a care for order, cleanliness or function before.This guy’s concern with the cleanliness and order of peoples’ “functions” sure says something about the Warrior’s state of mind.
I give you the true culprits behind the Katrina disaster: Eve and the snake.
Well, only in the sense that Eve stands for all women, and the snake represents their nasty parts. Women and their parts are the cause of all things evil and corrupt in the world today.
“this guy came to my school. He was a complete asshat and the Hitler Youth had to issue apologies to the student body and various groups whom he offended. One of his best lines was when an Iranian-American student stepped up to ask a question, he asked him if he needed a towel. Hilarious!”
I can’t forgive radical Islamic Fundamentalism, its terrorism and the populations of terrorists it breeds. Call me prejudice, but I hate them. I want them killed, erased from the face of this planet, before my or other American existence is.
I can’t avoid the fact that we are at War and these are prisoners of that War. They forfeited their rights, forfeited “human” as we like to say here — Americans didn’t seize them.
I don’t see “torture.� I tried. Really did. Even had my eyes checked and went for a long run and a 1000 rep leg workout to flush any cobwebs from my mind. Still, no torture did I see.
You guys are just intimidated by him, and, understandably so, just like when Pat Boone stepped out on the stage at the American Music Awards back in ’97, all buffed up, sporting that leather vest and showing off his great big tatoo that declared, “No more Mr. Nice Guy!”
Don’t worry, kids, that’s not the real Warrior. Although, it’d soooo make my life complete if he left a comment here…
“You guys are just intimidated by him, and, understandably so …”
As I guy who spent many years building his body and using it to become successful in a very unique way, the best advice I can (and do) give young people is: “You want to kick some ass? Then learn the power of words and the use of language. If you do, you will be able to write your own ticket to anywhere you dream of going in your life. There is no muscle that compares with the power of your mind and no weapon like words. There’s nothing so intimidating or embarrassing as having someone kick your ass with their mind.”
“Don’t worry, kids, that’s not the real Warrior.”
First, the dispelling of a couple rumors. There was only one Ultimate Warrior. That is, in Sports Entertainment there was only one person who ‘did’ Ultimate Warrior — that was me. There were not many different guys who ‘did’ him. No one else created his unique, distinct characteristics and sui generis personality. No one else donned his colorful gear or executed his creative, befitting promo style. No one else had the full bodybuilder’s physique and discharged the explosive, intense energy. No one else ran full speed sprints to the ring, shook the bejesus out of the ropes, threw violent, veiny-armed clotheslines or powered bodies up in Gorilla Press slams. No one else. I created him and I was the only one who, EVER, legitimately performed him.
Gee, neoconman, you seem to be saying Mr. Warrior’s intellect makes fighting his only recourse. Actually, you seem to be saying the only way right-wing postitions can be defended is with muscle. With friends like you behind them, who needs enemas?
I liked him better when he just used to shake and bulge out his veins before pretending to beat on someone—back in the glory days of the WWF, that soap opera for the monster-trucks-and-Clearasil set.
Hearing The Warrior on politics and society is like hearing Capt. Lou Albano on fashion and accessorizing. Who else on Earth would stick elastic bands to his face?
Lou
I seem to recall seeing something about the Ultimate Warrior’s bio or something airing on some channel or other at some point in time. (Sorry, not interested enough remember the particulars.) Anyhoo, in the commercial for whatever it is, Hulk Hogan seems to want to kick his ass. So, we have him. I went to high school with Kevin Nash (I don’t know his wrestling name). I think I can get him. So, we’ve got Goatboy covered.
I’ve always seen the Bush’s fishing picture with a liberal caption indicating the callousness of Bush towards New Orleans.
My nephew had sent it to me along with the following joke:
Q: What is George Bush’s position on Roe v. Wade?
A. He doesn’t care how people get out of New Orleans.
tigrimus, it’s just that deep down in your hearts, you guys know that you are not attacking him because he is an idiot, but because he is a buffed idiot.
“Queering don’t make the World work, son.” The Ultimate Warrior at a college lecture.
http://www.chud.com/forums/showthread.php?t=87487
For every Warrior you may drag out as the opotheosis of all things idiotic, I can show you a Cindy Sheehan, a babbling Babs, or a Harry Belafonte. Sure, the later two can carry a tune, but when they open their mouths, one better hope they plan to sing, and not talk. Of course, with all due respect to the fact that she lost her son, I’m sure Cindy Sheehan ends up sounding like an idiot every time she attempts to either sing or talk. You wouldn’t want to add a stick of gum to the process and ask her to walk either.
Actually, we “attacked” him for feathering his hair and wearing too much makeup.
For every Warrior you may drag out as the opotheosis of all things idiotic, I can show you a Cindy Sheehan, a babbling Babs, or a Harry Belafonte.
I won’t disagree with you about Babs or Harry.
But I wasn’t trying to say that the Warrior was representative of all conservatives. In fact, I made sure to note that he represented the absolute lowest fruit at the bottom of the fish barrel.
“opotheosis”?!?
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce….
Isn’t the word you were trying for there supposed to be “apotheosis”? Just guessing here.
Did Harry say something wrong? By most definitions of “terrorist” that I know of, Bush must rank somewhere near the top currently. Ask some Iraqis. Maybe it’s something else Harry said.
Maybe neosandwich was thinking of “omphaloskepsis”. Fits most wingers.
If there was any doubt in your mind that steroids cause brain damage, this should convince you otherwise.
The Ultimate Warrior is a wing-nut?!
My childhood memories are now totally fucked up.
I went to high school with Kevin Nash (I don’t know his wrestling name).
His current wrestling name is Kevin Nash, although he’s also wrestled as Vinnie Vegas and “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel.
More here.
Er, who is Babs? Streisand?
Anyway, I’m rather tired of certain people trying to equate complete lunatics with polemicists (e.g. Coulter with Moore). It’s one thing to stretch the truth, or to make inflammatory statements. It’s a whole other beast to make shit up, or ignore what is staring you right in the face.
Brad, I must give you your props. I stand corrected.
Rob G., extremism is the big threat, not liberalism or conservatism. And at the extreme end of your world are people like Cindy Sheehan, Babs, Sean Penn and Harry Belefonte. Polemicists? Perhaps very bad, self-appointed ones. Can you honestly sit there with a straight face and tell me that these folks represent the unbiased face of objective political analysis?
Bring it on Warrior!!!! Ooooooo-yeeeeeeeah! Neoconartist, you’re next, bitch.
“extremism is the big threat”. You betcha. At the extreme end of my world stand a lot of justifiably pissed-off people. That doesn’t make them extremists. It means they say offensive things.
Unbiased? No. Just pissed off. What the fuck is Ann Coulter’s excuse? At the extreme end of your world are people who are self-serving, lying assholes. Or just nutters.
One difference – we don’t want you to die. We just want you to go away, and let competent people (competent conservatives will do for now) take charge.
Rob G., when public figures make statements, based on anger or rage, or ignorance, they are putting themselves in the role of extemists. Balanced folks read before they speak, and wait to make public statements until they have cooled off a bit.
Furthermore, I’m am not here as an Ann Coulter apologist. Call the extremists on the right any name you want, just don’t put us all in the same category.
“One difference- we don’t want you to die.”
We don’t want you to die either, Rob G., we just want you to chill.
Um, “Warrior…” It’s “Arbeit Macht Frei”
Du bist ja so ein Koffer!!
So…. if you’re angry you’re an extremist?
So the things said or written while angry don’t matter, just the anger itself? That makes an extremist?
Ann Coulter expressed regret that the NYT building wasn’t blown up, killing the people inside. But hey, she wrote it calmly, so that’s not extreme at all.
Michael Moore was also pretty calm as he narrated the looong video of our president sitting on his ass looking scared while terrorists attacked our country. But, as a lefty, he must be angry and extreme, right? Because there’s nothing about the Commander in Chief of the military reading a children’s book while the nation is under attack that should cause anger in a reasonable person, right?
So, of course, Moore and Coulter are two sides of the same coin: she calls for the deaths of people she doesn’t like, while he points out lies, incompetance, and hypocracy.
Yep, same damn thing…
P fucking S: Sean Penn got into NO and helped people out while FEMA was wandering around pointing guns at black people. Damn that extremist Sean Penn!
neoconartist, I patently wasn’t putting you all in the same category as Coulter. You brought up the “your extremists” theme. For good or ill, these specimens are thriving in your big tent. If we have to answer for Ward Churchill, sure as hell you’d better answer for Coulter.
Chill? Not until the madness goes away. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, “when public figures make statements”? There’s always some idiot spouting off about something (like me). When that idiot runs the most powerful country in the world, expect outrage. And if you support that idiot, you’d better have your notes in order.
My impression of neoconartist: “You have extremists in your party. That makes liberals wrong”.
“What do you mean, we have worse extremists in our party? Why does that matter at all?”
“The liberals should denounce Moore/Sheehan/Churchill et al.”
“What do you mean conservatives should denounce Coulter, “Five in the noggin” Gibson, Michael Savage, Michelle Malkin, and so on? I see no reason why they should.”
hy·poc·ri·sy. Look it up.
Huh, I always made fun of Warrior because he made up his own vocabulary (“destrucity”, anyone?), blew up two minutes into all of his matches, and spent years pimping Warrior University in his half-assed rants.
Only good thing he ever produced was projectile vomit on Gene Okerlund.
“The liberals should denounce Moore/Sheehan/Churchill et al.”
Sigh.
Moore made a satirical movie making fun of the president and the media. He supports a mainstream, legitimate candidate for the presidency. This is extremism?
Cindy Sheehan seeks a personal explanation from Bush about the war, and says some kinda loopy things at peace rallies. Oh, and wears a T-shirt that names the number of dead soldiers. This is extremism?
Ward Churchill writes some shit no one has ever read before until 4 years later someone airs bits of it and he gets kicked out of an academic conference. This is extremism?
Oh, and then there’s Barbra Streisand. Tell me again how she’s an “extremist”? Can you even quote one thing that she has said recently?
Meanwhile, we have Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and the list goes on. These people are not only featured on nationwide TV or radio — they also get to control the content of what they say on TV. They are paid media pundits who have a bully pulpit on a regular basis.
They advocate the assasination of a national elected leader; the bombing of the New York Times, the jailing of people for practising the right of free speech, the killing of suspects without cause, ethnic profiling of supposed terrorists, torture of detainees, sexual harassment and rape is OK, inciting hatred of people who are gay, provoking interreligious conflicts……
Um, yeah, Mr. g.
That was kind of my point. I didn’t mean to assert a moral equivalency. Just the opposite, I was trying to show that it was a false moral equivalency on the part of neoconartist, or blt or the ever the hell it is
For the record, I wish Sadly, No! allowed us peons in comments to use strike-thru text, because I don’t wish to refer to “neoconartist” AS “neoconartist,” since he’s just Dr. BLT lurking behind a “ventriloquist puppet,” which allows him to say things that are more harsh and/or extreme than his usual pap. The term is “cowardice.” So, since “neoconartist” is just a construct to allow Dr. BLT to be more like his actual self without being “persecuted” by us mean ol’ liberals, I will address him as “Bruce,” which, supposedly, is BLT’s first name. This is also how I will refer to BLT, and any other discernable alias he comes up with (‘witch doctor),
Marq, I’m glad you exposed the real Dr. BLT for what he is: a Bruce! Frankly, I’m getting fed up (no pun intended) with Dr. BLT putting words in my mouth. But honestly, Marq, he’s the mean one and I’m supposed to be playing “good cop.” So if you want to call anyone a coward, call me a coward. I am the one who fears to tread where Dr. BLT boldly goes.
“Did Harry say something wrong?”
If you think he didn’t, Rob, just wait to see how many democrat candidates for president will be quoting him in their forthcoming speeches.
Many of you are accusing me of being hypocritical for defending right-wing extremists while denouncing left-wing extremists. But how many times have any of you witnessed me quoting Pat Robertson or Ann Coulter? Pat is the biggest embarrassment to conservatives to come along in years, and Ann Coulter, while basically correct in at least some of her opinions, has a major delivery problem. She comes across as a bitter, hostile, arrogant termagant.
You folks, one the other hand are quick to defend your nut cases, but you all seem to be consistent in looking for only the bad in anyone who is a conservative. I’m not saying I’m above the frey, but I do try to look for the good in many liberals. So does Dr. BLT. If you need proof, check out his new song about Eminem’s (one of Bush’s biggest critics) new song:
When You’re Gone (Eminem Tribute)
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
http://www.drblt.com/music/em.mp3
or visit http://www.drblt.com
Dr. BLT, aren’t they going to call me a blogwhore for a terrible songwriter now? Why do you set me up for this sort of abuse?
Get used to the abuse, neoconartist, that’s the price we pay for being honest. Besides, many of them can’t help themselves. They’ve been brainwashed by liberal groupthink and poisoned by the cyanide of cynicism.
This guy came to campus my junior year of college, the same semester as Ralph Nader, Ben Stein, and Robert Kennedy Jr. The Warrior was the only one of the four that I didn’t go to, and I can’t say I regret not going.
Pssssst Doc/Neo: DSM IV…’Personality Disorder’.
Look it up.
May I just reiterate how glad it makes me to know that blt will never, ever, EVER be my psychologist?
I shudder for his patients, especially those with liberal tendencies. The three sessions they have before realising what a quack he is (and a mentally unstable one at that) must be HELL.
“Many of you are accusing me of being hypocritical for defending right-wing extremists while denouncing left-wing extremists. But how many times have any of you witnessed me quoting Pat Robertson or Ann Coulter?”
And who quotes Harry Belafonte and Barbra Streisand here? Like, I literally defy you to find one quote from these personages on this site.
“You folks, one the other hand are quick to defend your nut cases, but you all seem to be consistent in looking for only the bad in anyone who is a conservative.”
There is little defense of nutty talk from liberals on this site. However, did you ever stop to consider that you are a troll, and this is a lefty blog … in other words, far be it from me to post a comment when I am drunk as a skunk, but this being a Friday night … you are a moron.
Go clean up your own sewer before complaining of the stink of ours. If you spent any time in your own cesspool, I guarantee you would find ours to smell like Chanel No. 5.
“I’m not saying I’m above the frey, but I do try to look for the good in many liberals.”
I’m not saying I’m above the frey either, but I’ve about given up trying to look for the good in many conservatives.
“Ann Coulter, while basically correct in at least some of her opinions”. Which ones? That liberals are traitors, that we love Islamofascists (funny, cos we’re commies too), that McCarthy was a hero? Sunshine, we do not have nut cases in the same league.
No, the Dems won’t quote Harry. They also won’t say “Dubya is a worthless lying sack of shit”. Don’t mean it ain’t true.
Good morning liberals. Dr. BLT taught me never to be rude, but always friendly even to the most hateful among you.
celticgirl, I must have looked up “Personality Disorder” in my DSM a million times. It doesn’t apply to Dr. BLT. Ventriliquism is a legitimate form of artistic expression. Not only that, it has entertainment and therapeutic value for the performer and the audience alike. Personally I find it quite cathartic.
Random Guy: Once again, you’re living up to your aka, in this case, randomly jumping to conclusions about how my patients experience me as their shrink (I don’t mix politics and treatment, for example) and randomly concluding that I am unstable. Though I may not be the poster child for mental health, and I may not be the Rock of Gibralter, I’m a far cry from being certifiably insane. Hell, I’m even more together than some of the characters in One Flew Over the Cockoo’s Nest.
Demogenes Aristophanes, my first impulse is to strike back for you calling me a moron, but I’m too big a fan of your screen name to do that with a straight face.
“I’ve about given up looking for the good in many conservatives”
Rich:
“Don’t give up on us baby, we’re still worth one more try…”
Name that tune. Name that artist.
BTW, have any of you listened to “When You’re Gone,” my genuine, heart-felt
R&B tribute to the openly Bush-bashing Eminem? If you have, follow my example and look for the good in everyone, even your worst political foes.
And BTW, as you know, I hate to brag, but, I must, in my own defense, seeing as yet another strategy for discrediting me has been employed by the folks at Sadly, No! Questioning my sanity. Now I ask you, how many folks do you know, sane or insane, do you know, that can accomplish all of this?
1. Complete their BA, MA and Ph.D., all before the age of 30?
2. Contribute one published magazine article per quarter to a highly respected Catholic magazine without ever having been a Catholic.
3. Featured as a personality on an MTV music video nominated for groundbreaking music video of the year at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2002.
4. Contribute a published monthly advice column for musicians in distress called Ask the Rock Doc, along with CD reviews, feature articles on the psychology of modern music, and numerous artist interview/profile pieces.
5. Get their letters to the editor consistently published, and, generally at the top of the heap, in such respected newspapers as the LA Times and USA Today?
6. Get numerous polical commentary/editorial pieces published in various newspapers and internet publications.
7. Get a theoretical piece published in the highly respected Journal of Creative Research.
8. Write and record nearly one original song per day, in nearly every style of music, some of which have received national airplay, some of which have been critically acclaimed, and one of which hit #21 on the top 30 download charts at mp3000.net
9. Currently a regular on the playlist at a New York radio station.
10. Recently had links to songs posted in the New York Times blog without paying them a penny to post them.
11. Teaches regular evening psychology courses at colleges and universities, including undergraduate and graduate courses.
12. Maintains a stable, personally fulfilling personal life.
And still has time to interact with loved ones at Sadly, No!
All without the aid of psychiatric medication, or street drugs (other than the occasional cup of Starbucks coffee).
As “Love Hangover,” the Donna Summer song from the 70s goes,
“If there’s a cure for this, I don’t want it, don’t need it…
Doc, I hate to toot your own horn, but you left out one small detail. You forgot to mention your full-time day job as a clinical psychologist.
I’m just giving you what you want, Doc. You’re the one who can’t stand to have a normal conversation with the people here – in fact whenever that starts to happen you just start saying more and more inflammatory and passive-aggressive things until someone takes the bait. Then you sit back and, with a smile and a sigh of relief, you start one of your long ‘persecution’ rants.
All I’m doing, Doc, is speeding up the process and saving you some time.
“Demogenes Aristophanes, my first impulse is to strike back for you calling me a moron, but I’m too big a fan of your screen name to do that with a straight face.”
Thank you. Like I said, I was drunk when I said that. I apologize.
However, I don’t think John Derbyshire was drunk when he wrote this on the the Corner yesterday:
“In between our last two posts I went to Drudge to see what was happening in the world. The lead story was about a ship disaster in the Red Sea. From the headline picture, it looked like a cruise ship. I therefore assumed that some people very much like the Americans I went cruising with last year were the victims. I went to the news story. A couple of sentences in, I learned that the ship was in fact a ferry, the victims all Egyptians. I lost interest at once, and stopped reading. I don’t care about Egyptians.”
Doc/Neo: well, I might well have been referring to the delusional aspects of the condition, such as your unyeilding inability to get past your persecution complex, plus your refusal to acknowledge any wrongdoing on the part of the ruling elite you love to represent.
“…there is excessive sensitiveness to setbacks or to what are taken to be humiliations and rebuffs, a tendency to distort experience by misconstruing the neutral or friendly actions of others as hostile or comtemptuous, and a combative and tenacious sense of personal rights. There may be proneness to jealousy or excessive self-importance. Such persons may feel helpslessly humiliated and put upon; others, likewise excessively sensitive, are agressive and insistent. In all cases there is excessive self-reference.”
Now, that is actually from DSM III, but I think it still is a pretty nice fit. Oh, and my understanding is that many people with certain disorders under that definition (certainly some that I have encountered) also tend to be overachievers.
I’m just sayin’…
Dr. Mary Rosh, The Sock Puppeteer:
Didn’t the eminently sane Ted Kaczynski accumulate piles of sheepskin by a relatively young age?
(Ah, a psychology major. Last refuge of those overwhelmed by the prospect of an Elementary Ed degree. Sorority houses are full of both. Go to med school and be a real doctor, Dr. PTSD. And put your sock puppet away. I challenge you to find any other regular here who practices ventriloquism in order to find a concurrent voice. It’d get your sociopathic ass banned at many other sites.)
You know, Bruce, I’m not really sure what the point of this “hide the sausage” bit involving “neoconartist” really is. Sure, the unwary who have interacted with “Dr BLT” before and have vowed not to ever again might be fooled into responding to “neoconartist,” where they might not have fallen for “‘witch doctor,” for instance. But, is communicating with people under false pretenses really a good policy to pursue? Or, perhaps you just desperately need just one, single voice to absolutely agree with you at all times? That would be really sad and pathetic. I’d like to say that there are plenty of conservative sites where “neoconartist” would have ample company in the comments sections, but, honestly, there aren’t. But, there are a few. Of course, places like Little Green Phlegmballs are inhabited with rampaging psychopaths, so maybe that’d be too much like work. So I remain confused.
Oh, and before you burp up any complaint about me using an anonymous screenname to converse with you, while complaining about your doing similar things, my screenname, Marq is the same as my actual first name–just not spelled the same. So, if my referring to you as “Bruce” is a problem for you, feel free to address me as “Mark,” although, with the large number of people out there using “Mark” as at least part of their screenname, that might result in a certain amount of confusion.
celticgirl, as Arte Johnson used to say on Laugh In, “Veeerrry interesting!”
“…passive aggressive…”
So, Random Guy, now you are randomly reading my mind, and, along with it, my motives. With someone like you around, who needs God?
“Then you sit back and, with a smile and a sigh of relief, you start one of your long ‘persecution’ rants.”
What, you can also see and hear me through your computer screen? And I thought the camera and bugs in my house were planted by the Bush administration.
“I’m just sayin…'”
I know what you’re just sayin’ celticgirl, but my question is to you have the qualifications for rendering clinical diagnoses? You know what they say, a little knowledge can be dangerous.
“Go to med school and be a real doctor, Dr. PTSD.”
GoatBoy, I guess you’re still mad about the BloatBoy comment. I sincerely apologize. Actually your sentiments regarding “a real doctor” are part and parcel of a less civilized mentality of days gone by that suggested that mental health problems are not real, but are “in your head.” Therefore, how can psychologists be real doctors? You must be from the old school. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Marq, it’s not Witch Doctor, BTW, but ‘wich doctor?! I’ve relied mainly on two aka’s here: neoconartist and ‘wich doctor? Dr. BLT is not an aka because these are my real initials, and, unlike Dr. Dre, and, unlike GoatBoy’s antideluvian assertion, I happen to be a real doctor. I’ve provided some pretty obvious clues so not to deceive anybody about who I am. If you don’t like the ventriloquist act, my response is contained in a song I am about to remake, Garden Party: “You can’t please everyone, so you have to please yourself.” But, hey, if it makes you feel more comfortable, please, call me Bruce.
BTW, thanks for calling me a “fake troll.” That means I’m not a real troll, which I’m assuming is your way of letting me know I’m considered one of the family here at Sadly, No!
I’m sorry this entry is so long. So long!
blt –
I’ve stopped qualifying my judgements because; 1) I’m convinced I’m right, 2) You make me more and more convinced with every post, & 3) You’ve thus far refused to say why you come back here if you are so crushed by all the nasty treatment you get here.
What’s clear, though is that you wouldn’t keep coming back unless you want to be (in your mind) shunned and ridiculed. In fact, my opinion is you need it to happen, daily, to feed your persecution complex.
The only question is why. Is it because you can’t feel ‘right’ unless you’re being ‘persecuted for your beliefs’? Is it because you desperately need your erronious preconceptions about liberals ‘verified’ every day? Do you have an inferiority complex towards liberals, so you need to get into an argument with one to assuage that? Or do you have such a pathalogical disdain for liberals that you get your jollies from pissing us off?
Whatever the reason, if you want scorn and shunning, considering some of the horrible things I’ve seen you say, I’m only too happy to oblige.
Aw c’mon doc, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean we’re not out to get you.
How do you know how qualified I’m not make such a diagnosis? Unlike you, I don’t go around spewing every last detail of my life, ‘qualifications’, ‘achievements’, experience, etc. on blog comments. I know who I am and what I’ve done, and I don’t need to justify it to you or anyone else. And I sure as hell don’t need to see it in print to make me feel like a bigger person, and in the process take a backhanded swipe to belittle others.
Remember, the first step in getting better is to admit you have a problem.
*grrr* It should read:
“How do you know I’m not qualified to make such a diagnosis…”
“How do you know how qualified I’m not make such a diagnosis?”
I don’t celticgirl, that’s why I asked. Your cute little dance was the answer I expected.
BTW, celticgirl, don’t you have even one nice thing to say about me?
Nope, I don’t have one nice thing to say about any of your personalities.
The next comment in this thread is #100… bitchez!
Bill Cosby is an honorary Doctor of Phys Ed. He’s exactly as “real” a doctor as is Sock Puppet Bruce.
I’m not Warrior, GoatBoy, I’m not here to defend my title, or to question the legitimacy or value of anyone else’s title. If it makes you feel less threatened to call me “Bruce,” then, by all means, call me “Bruce.” But don’t forget to add the “Almighty” part.
Threatened? Look who’s Dr. MPD, the Frist Shrink all of a sudden. In which course did you pick up your remote diagnostic technique?
(And every time I start to think there is nothing worse than your songs and singing you crack a “‘”joke.”‘” Was the person who told you you were funny the same cruel liberal that told you you could write and sing? If so, that’s not your friend!)
I wholeheartedly concur with GoatBoy. In addition Mister Doctor Bruce is a dreadful performer whose incompetence is matched in magnitude only by his delusion/deceit regarding his purpose in coming here.
He can go Cheney himself right up his stupid Leahy
Another cheap shot from a wannabe music critic. If you haven’t heard, Randy Pan, while I prefer any type of praise (including false praise), I welcome (with open arms) legitimate music criticism—cricicism that is specific, constructive, and intelligently and respectfully delivered.
Also, delusion and deceit are mutually exclusive characterizations. If I am deluded about my own purpose in coming here, how can I be said to be deceitful?
It’s an either/or slash. You’re one or the other.
Perhaps if you had genuinely tried to build up some goodwill around here then just maybe some kind regular would have enough respect or fondness for you to offer you constructive criticism about your horrible horrible simulacrum of actual music.
Instead, you troll, play (or just are) dumb and generally refuse to accord those treating with you in good faith like consideration. So we can’t be fucked to help the likes of you, Dr. BTO, the Sock Puppeteer.
Randy Pan is spot on. I mean really! I know I’d be hard-pressed to find a more likely source for advice and sincere criticism than a group of people that I frequently deride and wish ill upon. Makes perfect sense to me.
Put together a press kit and shop it to labels and potential agents and managers if you actually want to find out how bad you don’t suck. Or all but demand that same info from the next group of people you decide to regularly insult and condescend to. Either way.
The wannabe music critics are at it again, quick to spew out their venom, but completely void of words that reflect any modicum of substance or intelligence.
Unless either of you offer me something specific and meaningful, I’ll just write off everything you say as coming from jealously, rage over my politics, or simply your habit of looking at every conservative and what they may have to offer through crap-colored, crap-covered glasses.
The only sin I’ve committed at this site is to disagree with left-wing politics. Your world is too small to include those who disagree with you. You try everything at your disposal to discredit them and get rid of them because you don’t want to be challenged in your thinking. There are a lot of very nice people who visit, and operate this site. The two of you are not among folks of that ilk.
To those who show me a little basic human dignity and respect, I offer them the same in return. To those who only want to throw stones at me no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter what songs I write, I really don’t take them very seriously or give them anything they may want from me in return.
How dare we notice your wishing for a world without us (not to mention your hopes that we all catch STDs because we’re liberals and deserve it?)
We’ve got some nerve.
I was kind enough to let you know Exactly and Specifically what you should do to improve your writing and performance. It involves putting your shit out there in front of people who are in the business of making money off of talented people. Trust me, they’ll let you know succinctly and specifically how much you suck in how many ways. I’m not about to review your shitty songs one by one just because you feel like changing the subject (again.)
I’m jealous of a mere hobbyist? Unlike you, I frequently perform my material in front of crowds who may not be inclined to agree with my outlook or taste. Unless you’re willing to be booed you’ll never be any good. And while I’ve never tried it I’m pretty sure that asking every individual boo-er for a detailed, song-by-song critical breakdown of my failures would not be my springboard to turning the crowd around.
Many many of us have told you stink out loud. I have gone the extra step of letting you know how to solicit professionals who will either confirm or discount our assessment. And you are typically grateful for the effort.
You’re welcome, Borderline Bruce.
“How dare we notice your wishing for a world without us (not to mention your hopes that we all catch STDs because we’re liberals and deserve it?)”
“We’ve got some nerve.”
You’ve got some nerve, alright, distorting my words and taking them out of context like that. Anyone who really knows me at this site will take your comment as a serious distortion of the truth.
“Borderline Bruce”
Borderline (short for Borderline Personality Disorder) is a clinical diagnosis. What qualifications do you have that would convince me to take your “diagnosis” seriously?
Any idiot can boo somebody. You don’t have to know what you’re talking about. That’s why they call cheap shots, cheap shots. There are others here, who have taken cheap shots at me and my songs. But I can count them on one or two hands. The others either haven’t heard my songs, so they don’t want to make idiots of themselves for offering criticism on songs they haven’t heard, they quietly download them or, in at least one or two cases, specific individuals have offered, specific constructive criticism, which I really appreciated and have tried to apply.
I don’t need any warm fuzzy words from you to make me feel like a real songwriter. That would be like expecting blood from a stone. The real beauty of songwriting is being immersed in the creative process. Beyond that, if I want to find out how my songs are doing, I go to my statistics page, and lately, I’ve experienced all the validation I need from the bottom-line figures that appear on that site. If you don’t like my music, I really don’t care. Like I’ve said before, my songs are really not intended for adults under the IQ of 140.
“What qualifications do you have that would convince me to take your “diagnosis” seriously?”
It was an alliterative snappy nickname. And I must say your history of sociopathic behavior around here renders it a rather generous one at that. My qualifications are that I have seen ducks and the way walk and have heard them quack. When I witnessed other fowl exhibiting the same appearance and behavior I proceeded to label them ducks.
“If you don’t like my music, I really don’t care.”
(“But please please tell me everything you think is wrong with it! Please!”)
“my songs are really not intended for adults under the IQ of 140.”
I was unaware that making fun of mentally ill trainables was so popular an activity among the Mensa set. I guess ya learn something new every day.
“Any idiot can boo somebody.”
Yes, and that idiot, if persistent enough, can turn your whole room if you’re not giving the non-idiots enough reason to ignore the idiot or regulate him themselves. Tell ya what. Book some shows and get your favorite alt-weekly to cover you. If you were at all serious about the “constructive criticism” you calim to desire I’ve now given you not one but two surefire methods to obtain it. Let us know how that works out.
(Tell ya what, Dr. MPD: if you can convince Seb and Brad and Gavin via email to allow it, I’d be willing to give you a specific, detailed, exact review of one song per week. I’m not about to break a sweat in a comment box. So ask the right people nicely and they might allow me to graciously indulge your petulant bleats for explicit criticism. Oh, and I still listen to my old Alice Cooper records. His political conservatism in no way affects my enjoyment of his well-written and -performed songs [well, at least the pre-1983 material. He really caught a case of Suckosis around then.])
I don’t think you’re giving Seb, Brad and Gavin much credit to suggest that they would be willing to let your BS cheap shots fly all over the place, but try to block you for offering an intelligent analysis of a song or two. They’ve put my songs up in threads before, so I don’t think they would object to a few, succinct, intelligently, respectfully worded statements of objective criticism. Now I hope you realize what a risk I’m taking by affording you, someone who has only offered idiotic, hateful cheap, the chance to show that you can do better. BTW, I was an Alice Cooper fan long before he became a conservative.
Why don’t you start with this one?:
Autumn’s Castaway
words and music by Dr. BLT & DJ EJ
(c)2005
http://www.drblt.com/music/autumn.mp3
I’ll start where I please thank you very much, provided you can convince them to give it a go.
Your comment seems to indicate that you’re beginning to see the error in condescending to and insulting your audience cum reviewers. Seeing as how such an epiphany could come after earnest self-reflection I’m inclined to chalk up the illusion to swamp gas.
“I don’t think you’re giving Seb, Brad and Gavin much credit to suggest that they would be willing to let your BS cheap shots fly all over the place, but try to block you for offering an intelligent analysis of a song or two.”
Pastor Swank’s Grammar Lessons for me working are yes!
“I don’t think you’re giving Seb, Brad and Gavin much credit to suggest that they would be willing to let your BS cheap shots fly all over the place”
Well they haven’t blocked your IP yet so I like GoatBoy’s chances.
“respectfully worded”
Yep, that Lester Bangs set the standard for the respectfully worded, objective music review.
Seriously, have you READ a music review in the last 30 years? My only regret is that my optic nerves prohibit me from rolling my eyes any further.
Goatboy–I realize that you were too caught up in your sparring with Bruce to notice, but you nabbed the rare and coveted 100th comment in a thread (namely, this one). Unfortunately, the prize for the 100th comment is the download of a Dr. BLT mp3. Sorry about that!
“Seriously, have you READ a music review in the last 30 years?”
Having a little trouble getting started, GoatBoy? It looks like I may have just called your bluff. Not only have I read a music review (many more than one), but I’ve also written a few in my time. My review of Neil Young’s latest CD may give you some ideas concerning how to move from cheap shots to intelligently structured criticism, and praise (if warranted).
http://www.tollbooth.org/2005/reviews/ny.html
And if you can’t learn how to be civilized and gracious, while still being honest, in your criticism from my own critique, here’s a few lines from a review about my CD, Right-wingers Need Love Too.
This one’s from Bryan Preston of the National Review and of junkyardblog. Yes, he’s conservative, but hey, you said politics doesn’t necessarily have to influence one in their critique:
“…Sonically, Dr. BLT offers up a mix of country, folk and rockabilly, while vocally he tends to come off as a Dylan with clear diction. No, scratch that. I liked the line so much I had to include it, but Dr. B’s voice is smoother and clearer than that. Especially on what I think is the best cut, “Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fighting Side.” I hear slight hints toward country legend John Anderson in that one…”
Are you afraid of how good Autumn’s Castaway may sound? Are you afraid it will blow you away? If not, why not start with that one?
Having a little trouble getting started, GoatBoy?
Not a bit. In case you forgot, we’re waiting for you to set it up. My email is on every post.
My that review IS respectfully worded. And also says effectively nothing about anything.
No wonder Bryan Preston is such a revered name in music criticism!
(If John Anderson is a country legend then Cletus T. Judd must be some kind of demi-god. I never liked his harp playing with Yes, either. Wokka wokka.)
Suddenly you’ve become “Anonymous.” Isn’t that interesting? Suddenly, when it’s tiime to go from idiotic cheap shots to intelligent critique, you want to go under the radar. Mmmm. Also very interesting. Well, OK, have it your way, GoatBoy. My email is on this post. Let me know when your first review is ready to go. Who knows? Maybe if you become fair and balanced, we can become friends. After all, we’ve got something in common. We’re both Alice Cooper fans. BTW, do you have any songs of yours that you would like me to critique, or am I the only one who gets to be vulnerable?
Randy Pan, you’re pretty pertinacious in your petulant pessimism. Have you ever read Norman Vincent Peale’s THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING? You should really try taking off those crap-colored, crap-covered glasses once in awhile. I bet you haven’t seen the sun in years.
Sorry GoatBoy. I assumed my email would come up when I entered it, but it did not. You can find it at my website:
http://www.drblt.com
Yew cain’t read so good.
You set up the slot, then I deliver the product. Now scoot.
Set up the slot? What kind of slot are you talking about, GoatBoy? A time slot? I can read just fine, GoatBoy, but folks in my neck of the woods just don’t talk that way.
“if you can convince Seb and Brad and Gavin via email to allow it, I’d be willing to give you a specific, detailed, exact review of one song per week.”
That slot. A place other than a comment box to prominently display your perpetual demand for RealSpecificExplicitMusicReview. If you can’t be bothered to do this small thing then you don’t really want that for which you constantly ask. And are thusly (once again) fulla shit.
Get with it.
I guess politeness and civility in conversation was not really stressed in your home, Randy.
You see, even conservatives try to make excuses for other people’s revolting behavior. Randy Pan, I get it, you must be GoatBoy. But I don’t recall the powers that be requesting this sort of format for you to provide your supposed, forthcoming about-face civil critique. If this comments space is good enough for your idiotic cheap shots, I’m sure it will be deemed good enough for what for comments I’m expecting to be a great deal more intelligence. After all, it says “Post a comment.” It doesn’t say “Post a comment, but only if it’s an idiotic cheap shot.”
If you’re a published author who reviews music, and you want to be featured in a thread posted by the powers that be at Sadly, No!, ask them to do that for you. But if you are such an established music critic, disguising yourself as a churlish troglodyte, looking for an agent to set that up for you, I’m not your man. I’ve never claimed to be an agent.
…a great deal more “intelligence” above, should read…a great deal more “intelligent.”
If you can’t be bothered to do this small thing then you don’t really want that for which you constantly ask. And are thusly (once again) fulla shit.
It has been said, “You are what you eat,” but I say, “You are what you speak.”
You really say that, Bruce? Because that saying is colossally stupid.
Also, if you can’t be bothered to do this small thing then you don’t really want that for which you constantly ask. And are thusly fulla shit as usual.
I think I’m going to just let you continue to babble on. Why should I try to put you in your place when you are doing such a great job of that yourself?
Whatever you choose. So long as you never again ask me for specific, explicit, song-by-song criticism as a ploy to change the subject. Subsequent requests will be referred back to this thread.
Oh, and how do you breathe when you’re full of shit up to your sinuses like that?
If I ever run into that problem, Goat Boy, I will follow your example. I will have my doctor perform a tracheotomy.
Did BLT really just say the equivalent of ‘I am rubber, you are glue’??
Not quite, Random, but it was a pretty good random guess. Or perhaps you were making some vague reference to my forthcoming Beatles tribute CD, RUBBER Stamp my SOUL. Speaking of that CD, I was wondering if you might be interesting in hearing Dr. BLT cover artist, Alyssa Kaess on this song from that CD?:
When I Heard You Sing:
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2005
Performed by Alyssa Kaess
http://www.drblt.com/music/yousing.mp3
I would like to dedicate the song to all of the negative thinkers on this site. The lyrics are a great antidote for the cyanide of cynicism that has poisoned so many folks (like Goat Boy for example) at this site.
What’s so scary or difficult about sending three copies of the same email request, Dr. ADD?
Seems to me your bluff was called and you folded.
I’m not sure what you’re referring to Charlie. Please clarify.
Gallant: “Your music sucks.”
Goofus: “Tell me exactly and specifically how so in every song.”
Gallant: “I am disinclined to do so. You will likely dismiss my effort with a non-sequitur or one of your trademark passive-aggressive, oh-so-respectful and friendly, tongue-in-cheek condescending insults.”
Goofus: “Please?”
Gallant: “I won’t work that hard for a comment box. If you want it, see about securing some front page space for one song review per week.”
Goofus: “Here’s another song link and more passive-aggressive condescension.”
Gallant: wins teh itarnetz!!!11!!1one!eleven!!
What do you think about the song, “When I Heard You Sing?” I think Alyssa has a terrifc voice and I’ve been very fortunate to get her to record it. It’s about the Beatles and the power of their songs to bring a postive message of hope to the world.
What about you, Randy, do you like the Beatles? I’m a huge fan. Do you agree that the Beatles brought a lot of goodness into the world with their songs?
It has been said, “You are what you eat,” but I say, “You are what you speak.”
Souds like ‘ I am rubber…” to me!
Sorry, but I think this bears repeating:
“…others, likewise excessively sensitive, are agressive and insistent. In all cases there is excessive self-reference.”
Hello, celticgirl. What are your thoughts on Warrior? Personally, although he is a fellow right-winger, I think he’s a little over the top. But it’s easy to take shots at him without having to step into the ring and take him on in a less ideological arena.
Also, this is a bit off topic, but did any of you have a chance to catch the 48th Annusal Grammy Awards last night? I thought it was one of the best ever. My favorite was Paul McCartney’s rendition of The Beatles’ “Helter Skelter.” I was also pleased that Green Day picked up an award. I’m not big on their politics, but they sure know how to rock n roll.
In other words, let’s elevate the debate. Getting bogged down in our own personal grievances about one another is a waste of blogging space.
Apparently, site was not designed for that purpose, and this life is too short for silly, negative exchanges. I’ll admit, I allowed myself to get caught up in it, but I’ve now recognized what a waste of time it is, and I’m ready to move on. So keep it positive, keep it real, and keep it relevant, or find somebody who wants to go down the downward spiral of personal attacks with you. To pull a few words out of a CCR song (admittedly out of context), “It ain’t me…”
Rarely in history has it been the case that a winning side petitioned for truce. This thread follows that trend.
“I’ve now recognized what a waste of time it is”
And it only took you three or four days! That Dr. ADD is definitely the sharpest cookie in the sea.
did you all know that the Ultimate warrior was born of rape!!!!
unbelievable right, I kno