OK, not at all on topic, but…

James Earl Obama? said,
July 11, 2009 at 17:30

Slurring Thomas Jefferson said,
July 11, 2009 at 18:09

Do We Need More Hispanics? said,
July 11, 2009 at 18:14

Solving The African IQ Conundrum : “Winning Personality” Masks Low Scores said,
July 11, 2009 at 18:57

I don’t need to read these comments. I don’t even want to bother scrolling past them.
And why would I add them to a killfile? Those user names are never going to come up again.

So I updated the kill/autopsy Greasemonkey script: you can still use it to kill these turds if you want to, but on its own it will collapse long comments (default: 2048 characters) to zero length but still allow you the option of examining the comment if you really need to punish yourself. I think it’s easier on my eyes to be presented with

Solving The African IQ Conundrum : “Winning Personality” Masks Low Scores said,
[LOGORRHEA ADVISORY] July 11, 2009 at 18:57 (kill) (autopsy)

Additionally, the script’s been repaired to better handle UTF8, so that when you really want “My Questions For Sotomayor—Will Republicans Dare Ask Them?” in the killfile you won’t have to add it manually.

http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/14031

Badger script updated soon.

I once bought a bottle of Elvis sweat.

Last instance of tschotchkes is missing an S, or the first two have an extra S.

How DARE the Free Market create a niche for something I don’t like!!!

Bless you, fred. My carpal tunnel thanks you.

Creepy? What are you some kind of Commie?

“Rodham/Snow 2016!”, coming soon!

TSCinc.biz

Gimme a fucking break. There’s always a shop at Union Station selling shit associated with whatever president is in office at the time.

DC is a fucking tourist town. This is marketing 101.

Maybe Krikorian could put together a few of his little injectable death machines to sell in his own shop.

Stupic fuckwit.

I once bought a bottle of Elvis sweat.

Does it cure scrofula?

Does it cure scrofula?

No, but it gave me hemophilia.

aren’t creepy, I suppose, because . . . ?

Well, we need a new “IOKIYAA …” Something along the lines of “… If You’re Not a Negro,” or IOKIYAA White Person.”

Of course, for some schmuck of Armenian descent to deride My Obama Shop when the Armenian Orthodox religion is full of icons, tchotchkes & laminated pictures of Jesus they keep in their purses seems just a little silly, but maybe Krikorian converted so the Catholics that NR is filthy w/ wouldn’t laugh at his icons any more.

I think it’s safe to say that it has a lot to do with the shade of Obama’s skin.

It would be irresponsible not to surmise that this Kirkorian fellow looks like someone that would tell racist jokes at the NRO picnic. At least he knows he won’t offend anyone there.

I’m okay with a single Obama store considering that there are thousands of Jesus stores all over the world.

Oh Truthy, you and your horny bull fucking.

The Finest Bronze Bust of George W. Bush in The United States

George
Commander.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

But it hardly compares to this fine GWB product: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSZcgPFdFxI

TOP GUN George W. Bush Action Figure

Let’s talk about race and IQ somewhere else, where it’s relevant! Try your backyard. The squirrels are passionately interested in your views.

Fred said,

I updated the kill/autopsy Greasemonkey script: you can still use it to kill these turds if you want to, but on its own it will collapse long comments (default: 2048 characters) to zero length but still allow you the option of examining the comment if you really need to punish yourself.

It works. IT WOOOORRRRRKS! Bless you, Fred; I now have the public payer option on trollsmacking here. Just let us know when the Badgerriffic model comes out, mmm-kay?

The squirrels are passionately interested in your views.

Unlikely. They just see his noggin as the mother of all acorns to hoard.

I get off on porn about black guys raping white guys.

Copy-pasting racist crap here is a great way to work off the terrified, guilty afterglow.

The squirrels are passionately interested in your views.

These squirrels are particularly interested in Troofus.

So I updated the kill/autopsy Greasemonkey script: you can still use it to kill these turds if you want to, but on its own it will collapse long comments (default: 2048 characters) to zero length but still allow you the option of examining the comment if you really need to punish yourself.

Thanks Fred, that’s awesome. What’s the chance of whitelisting folks who are allowed to break the 2048?

Hmmm, no black liberal with a big penis wants to rape me? Hmmm?

As one of the stupidest members of this blog, I know something about bringing down the average IQ

Why not? We already got plenty of retarded white people here already.

While it’s more effort then you’re worth: IQ doesn’t mean anything. You might as well judge people by their inseam. At best, IQ is a loose guideline for someone’s abilities.

@fred:

So I updated the kill/autopsy Greasemonkey script: you can still use it to kill these turds if you want to, but on its own it will collapse long comments (default: 2048 characters) to zero length but still allow you the option of examining the comment if you really need to punish yourself. I think it’s easier on my eyes to be presented with

I just went through the last thread after installing the killfile, but didn’t see any of the scrolltroll posts at all, not even in the logorrhea advisory. Did I do it wrong? Not that I’m complaining, but…

Also, Q, about how long is 2048 characters, i.e. word avg.?

o/t, hey ‘InsaneintheCheneybrain’, you still playing EVE?

I just went through the last thread after installing the killfile, but didn’t see any of the scrolltroll posts at all, not even in the logorrhea advisory. Did I do it wrong? Not that I’m complaining, but…

You’d hit “autopsy” to see what’s in the logorrhea advisory. You done it right.

“there’s a market for this sort of thing (I’m assuming it’s not a government-owned business, at least for now) is a way there never would be for “My Bob Dole Shop” or “My John McCain Shop,”

Dole? McCain? I think Krikorian thinks that Barack Obama is a failed Presidential nominee like those two.

Probably the shock of having one of those people win the office is just too much for some Republicans to take in one step, they have to edge up to it.

Any decent jokes in the previous thread? So much Lorem Ipsum that I got bored waiting for it all to download through a slow connection.

Also changed “LOGORRHEA” to “POOP”.

I assume you’ve seen Fred’s post at comment one.

Can you set that script to “stun”?

Hey will this script thingy work on my TV? I’d love to collapse anything vapid and meaningless on cable and network news.

Methinks Mr Krikorian has never been to Times Square. He would probably run away, gibbering in terror. Now, to be fair, that is the appropriate response to Times Square, but only because of its Times-Squariness, not the purveyors of Obama doodads.

Also, just a general comment, but if I had to write a list of the Top Ten Unsexiest Places on the Planet, Train Station Restroom would definitely be on it. Probably near the top of the list.

The text still has to download before a script can edit it, and this cuts into my badger-p0rn bandwidth.

Let’s just review Troofie’s brilliant scheme for making us feel bad for being liberals, thus shutting SN down forevah and evah:

Predicting the Great Liberal Freakout… FAIL
The invincible Jena 6 argument… FAIL
The super-invincible Helen Suzeman argument… FAIL
Using nyms designed to insult mods or regulars and inflame “liberal hate”… FAIL
Using alternate names to avoid piescripting/killfiling/Badgering… FAILY FAIL
Nymjacking… FAIL
Scrolltrolling… FAIL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllll… FAIL (with one “L”)

What will Troofie do now? Who knows, but as he boasts “I have a billion-kajillion IP addresses, and you can’t stop me, libs!” Unfortunately for him, we have the technology to ignore him (if we want to).

Hey will this script thingy work on my TV? I’d love to collapse anything vapid and meaningless on cable and network news.

BE SERIOUS MAN! Do you want “FOX and Friends” to disappear from your TV forever? Oh, wait…

We CAN ignore him… we have the technology! We can make him shriller…. aggressive-er… LLLLLLLLLLer.

I still hate niggaz.

I will still hate them on the next thread, too.

I’ve always hated them.

Except for Obama’s children. For some reason I reaaaaally wanna hate-fuck them.

Maybe if the Sadlynauts make a top-level post about IQ, we can get Troofie to talk about the subject of this post, the tchotchkefication of Obama.

Unfortunately for him, we have the technology to ignore him (if we want to).

I think that is called a ‘glass menagerie’ is it not?

Oh, and Michelle’s picture. I “use” it a lot, if you know what I mean.

I especially love her manly, strong arms. Thinking about them …. umm, ooh, excuse me a minute….

Well, how bout that! There is an Obamashop in my neck-o-the-woods!
http://www.yehmon.com/obamashop/id89.html

Thank god for curtains…

They didn’t need one before because the White House was the George W Bush shop, where everything was on sale and it was open for business every day.

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week and remember to try your waitress and tip the elephant.

I set up my shrine and I bought the candles but I still need a little guidance on the proper way of showing my devotion. So far I’ve tried:

– a libation of the blood of capitalists
– ritual gay sex
– autoflagellation of my unworthy white ass

All of that was fun, but it shouldn’t just be about ME.What would Obama like?

Oh Truthy, you and your horny bull fucking.

And we already told you:

We really, really don’t like it when you fuck rhinos.

tip the elephant.

I’ve heard tell of cow tipping, but elephants sound like serious work.

Don’t tell anyone whose vowels are missing, but it seems George W. Bush has at least a touch of the tarbrush himself.

Jesus always takes the credit.

Is it OK to make fun of (or ATTACK!!!) ewerickson’s dottir, now that she’s been dragged onto the public stage?

Note also that Mrs. ewerickson doesn’t seem to be doing her Xian housewifely duties. Make that bed & hang up those clothes on that chair, woman!

Thanks Fred. The new badger file is TEH AWESOME. Eleventy-million internets to you, mon ami.

Troofie says:

‘ll fnd wy rnd yr scrpts, lbs, ‘m fckng nvncbl.

Fck wth th bll, y WLL gt th hrns!

and promptly disappears in a puff of logic. Disemvowelling: making S,N that much better since… a few months ago.

tip the elephant.
This is the thin end of the white elephant, which is has reached its tipping point on the slippery slope.

What are you, a ‘tard? Thin white elephants are the ONLY kinds you can snort. Otherwise it fucks your head up and you do stuff like actually vocalize your contempt for death row inmates.

Lester Maddox had a store in Underground Atlanta. He sold ax handles, autographed ax handles. People will buy anything.

– a libation of the blood of capitalists
– ritual gay sex
– autoflagellation of my unworthy white ass

I, of course, first scanned over that to read as a list of collective nouns.

– a libation of the blood of capitalists
– a ritual of gay sex
– an autoflagellation of my unworthy white ass(es)

Sez Mencken, quoting Frum:

[B]y expanding government regulatory power, the Obama administration may invite innovation-thwarting meddling. Back in the 1990s, entrepreneurs used to say that America was the only country on earth where you could borrow $100 million without owning a suit. That’s the thing we need to defend. What we need to end is the ability to borrow $100,000 without a down payment.

“If you owe the bank $100,000.00 you’re in trouble, but if you owe the bank $100,000,000.00 the bank (and the rest of the financial system) is in trouble.”

Just tried out the new killscript. Wheeeeee!

I particularly like “Logorrhea Advisory”. That’s class.

I kan haz link to badgers?

Apparently your unworthy white asses collectively form a ‘pace’, ‘herd’ or ‘drove’.
There are scenes of Auto-flagellation in that “Man in the Black Sedan” video.

‘m fckng nvncbl.

On an earlier thread, Johnny Coelacanth wrote:

…This pathetic bastard is reduced to flailing about on the internet, smearing shit on the walls of an obscure snark blog because the commenters won’t take him seriously. This is not a person who is effective or self-actualized enough to actually get anything done in the real world.

This made me think that, yeah, someone effective or whatever might actually be doing something positive to further their ideology, like recruiting or writing their own blog or resigning from the Governorship of Alaska. It’s the very definition of pathetic to spend one’s time acting on the realization that the best possible use for one’s time and talents is to try to distract and piss off Teh Hippies in the commentariat of a humor blog. Worse yet, to continue doing so in the face of the fact that even that does pretty much nothing. Almost makes me feel sorry for the little fella.

Perhaps if Reagan hadn’t de-funded mental health programs, Toofy would be a happier camper today.

Also, ‘m fckng nvncbl. is the new scuse my finGAHs.
Okay, maybe not, but I think it deserves a spot on the shelf of oft-used interbutt traditions.

Truth, Not Lies said,

July 12, 2009 at 0:26 (unkill) (autopsy)

*ch-chk*

BADABOOM!

oooh, that’s fun.

Troofie, if we buy you a hooker with a Sasha Obama mask, will you leave us alone?

Try the veal!

Guess what, Libs?

No seriously. Guess.

Chicken butt?

*ch-chk*

oooh, that’s fun.

Shhh… Keyboard banging season’s about to start. Popcorn?

The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of UNWORTHY WHITE ASSES.

Logorrhea Advisory
If erection persists for more than three hours after encountering “Rhea Ramjit” on Google Image Search, seek medical help.

‘m fckng nvncbl

I’m still not very good with disemvowelese. That scanned as “I’m fucking Neve Campbell”. Why settle for a Canadian ex-stripper when you can have a Canadian forgotten actress?

Based on Leftous Bubba-Burt’s suggestion, I also changed the Logorrhea to POOP.

It increases the enjoyment, it really does. But I miss the Badgers.

Creatures that were suspected of being familiar spirits or complicit in acts of bestiality were also subjected to judicial punishment,

What would it take for an animal to be convicted of bestiality?

Having sex with a Republican??

Creatures that were suspected of being familiar spirits or complicit in acts of bestiality were also subjected to judicial punishment,

Oh come on, everyone knows that pigeon was a total slut! Raise your hand if you did NOT have sex with that pigeon!

Careful, Troofie might throw another shitfit about how South Park is LIBERTARIAN and we CAN’T HAVE IT because Zimbabwe.

Troofie’s shitfits are a FEATURE, not a bug…

I think that I’ve mentioned this before:

Graunger, at the age of 16 or 17, was convicted of “buggery with a mare, a cowe, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey”, according to court records of 7 September 1642[1].

Graunger confessed to his crimes in court privately to local magistrates, and upon indictment, publicly to ministers and the jury, being sentenced to “death by hanging until he was dead”. He was hanged on September 8, 1642. Before Graunger’s execution, following the laws set down in Leviticus 20:15 (“And if a man shall lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast”), the animals involved were slaughtered before his face and thrown into a large pit dug for their disposal, no use being made of any part of them[2].

The actual trial records are even more bizarre, as young Thomas was placed in the witness box while all the village animals were paraded past. Those that he could identify as his lovers were executed, but those that he was uncertain of were acquitted. Due process, dontcha know.

‘m fckng nvncbl

Meh, I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was “‘m fckng Mtt Dmn.”

FYWP

The Obama Show said,

[LOGORRHEA ADVISORY] July 11, 2009 at 1:44 (kill) (autopsy)

@Fred is teh awesome.

‘m fckng nvncbl

I actually read that as “I’m fucking novacainable”

Since it sounded like someone with a mouth full of novacaine, that seemed about right.

I actually read that as “I’m fucking novacainable”
Since it sounded like someone with a mouth full of novacaine, that seemed about right.

Novacaine is the new altoids.

divers sheepe…

Veiled WETSUIT reference?

Graunger, at the age of 16 or 17, was convicted of “buggery with a mare, a cowe, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey

However it wasn’t until he added “and a partridge in a pear tree,” that they really decided to crucify him.

Stupid and Crazy cannot be debated. IQs are meaningless in general. Individually they can be interesting. Isn’t President Obama’s IQ 180 or thereabouts?

You GO, girl!

Isn’t President Obama’s IQ 180 or thereabouts?

Sha, right!

Aw, he’s just trying to be somebody’s straight man. Trouble is the punchlines are too obvious, as you demonstrated.

I hope My Obama Shop carries “Golfers for Obama” pins.

The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

July 12, 2009 at 0:30

Troofie, if we buy you a hooker with a Sasha Obama mask, will you leave us alone?

For one thing, I imagine that any hooker who would want a Sasha Obama mask badly enough to accept it as payment would already have one.

For another thing, Troofie wouldn’t know what to do with a hooker.

For another thing, PENIS.

Oops. Obviously.

I hope My Obama Shop carries “Golfers for Obama” pins.

That can’t out-cool the “Student’s for McCain” pen.

Several months after Waking Up to a McCain Presidency I saw a “Disabled People for McCain” bumper sticker. I wasn’t sure just how to react.

Michelle is probably a closet lesbo, and the really father of their children is Bill Clinton.

I welcome GOP-directed attacks against Obama’s children. I couldn’t possibly hurt the Republican brand, could it? Could it? Could it!!!

Nope. That’s not to say it wasn’t unfair. But life’s unfair, so there.

#

July 12, 2009 at 2:15 (unkill) (autopsy)

*ch-chk*

BIG BADA BOOM!

You might not like Obama when he’s mad….

@kid:

Several months after Waking Up to a McCain Presidency I saw a “Disabled People for McCain” bumper sticker. I wasn’t sure just how to react.

That’s like my experience seeing a McCain/Palin sticker (pink) on a freakin’ Toyota Prius after the election. Talk about cognitive dissonance.!.!

At least we make libs and Obama mad!

snicker

GODDAMN AMERICA! That’s in the Bible!

How I hate America! We’re responsible for several genocides. Just a stupid honkey whitey country in need of black leadership, to make us more like Zimbabwe and South Africa.

Whoever told me nym-jacking was as effective as I think it is does not have my best interests at heart.
Also, the Obama kids give me a throbbing semi. Obviously.

The classification “Not a danger to others” certainly needs a review.

That’s like my experience seeing a McCain/Palin sticker (pink) on a freakin’ Toyota Prius after the election

I can top it. I worked in a coffee shop with a former WNBA superstar (It seems that the WNBA doesn’t pay as well as the NBA). One day when she wasn’t working, she and her girlfriend came in wearing matching “Bush/Cheney 2004” shirts. I laughed and laughed and laughed. It wasn’t a joke.

Oh look, Troofie made a bunch of posts in a row. Must be something important, like how much he loves sticking “bias” up his butt. I can’t really be bothered to check it out now. Doop-de-doo, on with the show…

Oh yay! My first nym steal! I feel so important!

Boy, I seem to have pissed off Mr. Third Grade with my enthusiasm over the killscript.

This nym-stealing thing I’m doing is really pissing you libs off, isn’t it?

I know it is! Bookmark it, libs!

Address my points, libs!

I do strongly support a higher top marginal income tax. I would like to call it the “Oprah tax” and run political ads showing down and out rednecks with cars rusting in their yards.

I love it when he says the things he thinks by putting the opposite words in stranger’s mouths.

I am petulant and childish.

I’m not sure which is funnier: 1) that Teh Wingnuts can’t see that attacking Obama’s widely popular family will only push away more people from their ever-shrinking pillow fort, or, 2) that they think they need to gin up an excuse to behave like the dishonorable racist shitbags we all knew they were going to be in any case.

Does anybody here know how much bleach I should use on my sheets to keep them extra-white, if you know what I mean.

UNITED STATES OF SHAFT, BAYBEEE!!!!

United States of SHAFT (damn right!)

Live it and learn to love it. It’s going to be with you for quite some time to come.

That Troofie boy’s got a real hard-on for Tintin, don’t he? Heh-heh-heh-HEH!

C’mon, Troofie, that there’s what we call a knee-slapper here in the heartland. You ain’t-a one-a them “city boys”, is ya?

It would be interesting to dissect troofie and see what makes him tick.

Does anybody here know how much bleach I should use on my sheets to keep them extra-white, if you know what I mean.

I recommend drinking it to ensure proper whiteness and brightness.

Anybody here save the burning-cross building instructions from the Nov 1955 copy of Popular Mechanics by any chance?

Michelle Obama is our New Queen, and their daughters are our Princesses.

Soon they can change us into an Empire with a Monarchy, like a two bit African nation.

Dude, when you start using Coming to America for your plotline, you’re just phoning it in.

Are there any new xtranormal videos to make me LOL?

Troofie’s butthurt is fun, too, but, also.

I LOVE IT

Stereotypical Southern Sheriff said,

I’m sorry, but I think I’m offended.

Stereotypical Southern Sheriff said,

Sha, right.

scuse mah finGAHs!!!

World’s most terrifying web page

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=job+vacancies&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g10

Truth is on to us. We had better move forward the construction of the camps or else all of the productive, intelligent white people will escape before we can steal their bodily essences.

The worst thing imaginable would be if all of the conservative white people just picked up and left the country. That would make liberals everywhere SO. FUCKING. ANGRY.

Oh man, am I glad I dropped by to see what’s up.

THIS is entertainment…

mikey

Whee, I got nym-stole! Who wants to help me sew on the merit badge?

‘m fckng nvncbl.

Troofers: the Mr Creosote of Trolls.

hey mikey, how’s it going?

This much obsessive/compulsive is a rare sight isn’t it?

It’s wafer thin.

Shorter Krikorian: “Who could imagine there would be stores selling commemorative Obama merchandise to the 13% of the population who never thought they’d see a president who looks like them and might want to commemorate it? The invisible hand, it’s flipping off white male conservatives!!!”

Jennifer, that points to the real conservative problem with the free market:

Too many of the “wrong sorts of people” have spending cash.

BTW kids, off-topic but I’m pleased to report I went head-to-head with a credit card company today (MAJOR recipient of TARP funds) and I won. It seems that telling them you’re going to go file bankruptcy if they don’t drop the greedy motherfucker shit with insisting on increasing the min. payment by 2-1/2 times and then they’ll be getting NOTHING until it all gets sorted out instead of the on-time min. payments they’re collecting every month and have been collecting every month all along…it seems that’s the best way to get their attention.

Oh look. It’s going into full meltdown.

I am like God, and God like me! I am as large as God, He is as small as I! He cannot above me, nor I beneath Him be! Selatius, 17th Century!

Stop projecting off the job.

Troofie’s the only person in the world who sounds MORE like an adult when he’s being a neo-Nazi.

We’re showing a buildup to a troll core implosion, Captain.

In the immortal words of blakNo1: “These brownshirts are projecting like the octoplex down at the mall.”

I don’t like big gay cocks that are gay? Awww. I feel shafted.
…
Heh.That cheered me up.

Troofie, if you get that much excitement out of a cucumber slathered with vaseline and an active imagination, you should just go for it. You might have some trouble finding a real live person who is willing, but if Larry Craig can do it, you can. I suggest this site.

Da-na-na-na!
Da-na-na-na-na!
Da-na-na-na!
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
IT’S THE FINAL MELTDOWN!

Hell why don’t we make Osama bin Laden a citizen?

Why don’t we make Obama a citizen first?

I said nym-jacking was immature and faggy once upon a time.
…
Is it possible I’m full of shit?

IT’S THE FINAL MELTDOWN!

The problem is, we won’t know what actually happened until the long silence, followed by a story on page 9 of the Baxley News-Banner about a man found hanging by his sheets with a 12-inch black dildo up his ass.

Unlike our stupid redneck whitey Xtians, Osama fooled Bush rather than being fooled by Bush. And Bush was pretty damn stupid, so…you gotta figure the people he suckered are even dumber. Still and all, as much as I deplore stupidity, I think a smart person with ill intent is more dangerous, so no thanks.

a man found hanging by his sheets with a 12-inch black dildo up his ass.

Don’t forget the wetsuits.

Posting in an epic thread!

Sweet IPU, blessed be her hooves, it’s like every thread is an Epic Thread!

I am so unintelligent and inattentive I have to wait for a regular to post before I remember their name.

Yaaays! I just got jacked!

PROTIP: Throw in some PENIS. They’ll never suspect that you aren’t me.

Hey, that’s not kosher.

Hey, that’s not kosher.

Ohhhh….pork. I get it.

Heh.

The real reason you libs were all pissed off at Glenn Beck and Michael Scheuer is projection. Truth is, it’s you lefties that want America to be attacked.

PENIS.

I am pretty ambivalent about big hot gay cock all up my ass! Basically it’s one of those things I could take or leave.

Nothing better up my ass than PENIS

And I mean that totally heterosexually, of course.

I believe a foreign Jew controls the media. Boy, do I have some nerve accusing anyone of anti-Semitism.

And by heterosexually I mean totally gay.

Gay?!? WTF? I wish I were gay.

PENIS.

Why am I stuck on the Joo thing when my own hatred of Jews is well-documented?

Am I confused yet?

Confused? Maybe about my sexuality.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

PENIS.

I really couldn’t tell that time.

The last time I did this, liberalism completely disappeared forever just like I planned!
Every day, it’s a gettin’ closer…

Someone’s got an anal fixation.

There’s nothing stopping me now
We don’t listen to you – fuck off
There’s nothing holding me back
I want all the truth

It would be irresponsible not to surmise that this Kirkorian fellow looks like someone that would tell racist jokes at the NRO picnic. At least he knows he won’t offend anyone there.

“Well, they call each other that way…”

The troll hath been trolled. His butthurt, epic.

( I ) This is my butt. It is severely hurt.

I really couldn’t tell that time.

Actually, most of them were me. I guess I was just trying to show him that nym-jacking is kinda pointless with a bunch of self-deprecating, deeply irreverant snarkaholics. Probably won’t take, Troofy’s a slow learner.

( o ) I’m thinking this is more like your butt, what with your fixation with putting things up it and eating things that come out of it.

“My hero Ward Churchill”

No! He’s the imposter! Shoot now!

Oh, gasp! Troofie name-jacked me! Whatever shall I do?

Maybe Troofie is the orginal goatse.

Jeremiah Wright! Bill Ayers! CLENIS!

We are no better than the Soviet Union, grubby, power-hungry, greedy, and deserving of collapse. Goddamn America!

This is a simulation of what would happen if all college students were packing at all times. No one is safe! 🙂

I hope the firewall for the local wireless network collapses soon. When that happens, my internet access will be free!

Don’t be ridiculous – the only place here that is like the Soviet Union is DisneyWorld. Obsessed with security and featuring long lines of unhappy people waiting in lines to buy overpriced, shoddily-constructed goods they neither want nor need, with larger-than-life-sized icons of Dear Leader Mickey looking down from banners all over the place. And even DisneyWorld has brighter colors and better weather. Plus, air conditioning!

The attacks of 9/11 were the “Shock ‘N Awe” of ISLAM fucking America! I celebrate it every day!

I’ll amend this by saying, I forget about 9/11 most days. Hence, my need for another attack to remind me of the hawesomeness of Chimpy McBushitlerBurton.

Long live 9/11!

Dammit pedestrian, you gave away the password!

Mark Krikorian:

… a way there never would be for “My Bob Dole Shop” or “My John McCain Shop,”

U R DOIN’ IT WRNOG. See here for an example.

P.S. Speaking of creepy personality cults and odd merchandising – try and guess how many places you can get Sarah Palin tees…

Troofy’s a slow learner.

It’s a “no-learner.”

FYWP.

I guess it’s my fault for playing with the troll.

Anyways, three words for Mark Krikorian.

Sarah Palin swag. Fuck you, I win.

And you never did defeat me, ever.

Social Security privatization?

Troofie: Address my points, libs!

OK!

Points. Points! Listen to me. I’m talking to you, Points! Are you listening, Points? Good, good. Now go fuck yerself.

Well, I addressed your points like you asked. Golly I hope that’s good enough, Troofie! Have a Real Nice Day!

We are no better than the Soviet Union, grubby, power-hungry, greedy, and deserving of collapse. Goddamn America!
WOOOO-HOOOOO! Hermano! Come ride with me to the seekrit Negroslamomexihomofascist hideout. There we will plot our Osama-loving, hippie fueled abortion revenge on teh Heartland and then move on to Muslim Murders Global!

WOLVERINES!!!…. uh, uh, er… I mean Ululululuululululululululululu!!!!!!

And you never did defeat me, ever.

Just that time Al Gore got 500,000 more votes than you did, punk -ass chump. But you defeated yourself, eventually. And ruined your poor, almost competent brother Jeb, who everyone in your dysfunctional family thought would be the Golden Boy, instead of poor fucked-up W. Proud of yourself? Sure you are. You showed Jeb! Now who does Babs love more?

Don’t count me out yet, liberals.

I’m already planning for 2012.

We are no better than the Soviet Union, grubby, power-hungry, greedy, and deserving of collapse.

hey! Whoah!!

You gotta admit, that is one seductive philosophy!

Wow, I got name-jacked by jackass. I’m now in an Eleet S,N! club!

Oh, BTW, death to everybody that doesn’t isn’t like me. I perform gay abortions on whales, so there won’t be many people left. YAY!

And you never did defeat me, ever.

Ahem…http://www.newsweek.com/id/206300

Better late than never. El Chimpo will look good in stripes or at the end of a rope.

#

I’m already planning for 2012.

smart move. Can’t get started on that drinking yourself to death thing too soon.

Hey! who do I have to blow to get nym-jacked around here!!

Sheesh. Zombies get no fuckin respect, I tell ya.

Jeb Bush could win.

He’ll have to become a black man and change his name to Jebediah Abdullah bin Walker, but he could win.

And my brother, Jeb? He is going to be President someday.\

See? Your brother is drinking enough to hallucinate already.

“an international movement seeking to re-establish an international Islamic state – or Caliphate – and to indoctrinate Muslims into supporting jihad, wants to step up its recruitment efforts in the United States.”

Fellow Travelers, the next meeting is in Oak Lawn next Sunday. Hope you all can make it!

I think we ALL got nym-jacked tonight. It’s getting to the point of “tedious”.

I’m still wondering what the hell it thinks it’ll accomplish. Are the wingnuts still earning their Frequent Fuckwit points for trolling message boards and comment threads like they were getting a couple years back?

I perform gay abortions on whales.

Friend of mine once had a license plate frame that read “Nuke Gay Whales for Christ.”

I’m having a happy retirement, and will never be on trial for anything.

Keep bragging there, ’cause you might just manage to jinx it.

Oh fuck, Troofie made a prediction. My ass is going down. Where’re my drugs, Laura?

President of the Second-Biggest-Loser-in-My-Family Club, maybe. Although his daughter Drugzilla may win that one.

Say what you will, but the scroll-trolling’s stopped.

Pere, I think it’s hoping for tedious.

All the discussions of what it gets out of this activity, and the only thing I keep thinking is that the hope is to destroy a place where other people are having fun….

fortunately, most people here are too resilient for that to work.

Damn. And just after I installed Fred’s nifty scroll-troll Eliminator version of killfile, with RB-POOPmod….

Interesting observation:
Jeb Bush, out of public office
Mitt Romney, out of public office
Newt Gingrich, out of public office
Rudy 911liani, out of public office
Sarah Quitter Palin aka Quitasaurus Rex, leaving public office in a couple weeks.

….you can always take a shotgun blast to the head!

See! Blatant anti-zombism!!!

Wheee, George W, JEB! and both Jenna and Not-Jenna on mah killscript list! TEH TRIFECTA I HAZ IT

The DNC oughta vote on whether to refer to the GOP as the “Southern Nationalist Party”. Works on a whole bunch of levels. Olbermann would be an easy sell.

Say what you will,

OK:

BUTTOCKS.

POOP

BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

The fact of the matter is that this Lib site has become tedious to us in the heartland because of the unfunny troll posting and all the long articles from some phony webzine. Here in the heartland real Americans like short posts that are on topic.

All three people with Bush Nostalgia have it.

dentist, we could just call ’em the KKK. They’ve already got the stationery.

I really wish I could taste the sweet, sweet jism of my Holy Saint Bush.

I think we ALL got nym-jacked tonight.

Not me! Out of sight, out of whatever shrivelled little shit-craisin it uses for a mind.

Bush will be back! Bookmark it, libs!

You’ll wonder how I was able to call this.

Jeb Bush/Liz Cheney 2012.

Who became President? Me, or Al Gore?

Obama!

Suck it!

Liz Cheney/Bill O’reilly in 2012!

Both are acclaimed writers of pornographic novels (for real)*. My favorite thing is porn.

* (really, for real)

Who’s president now? Me, or the black guy Troofie secretly wants a reacharound from?
Suck it until I tell you to stop, Troofie.

Who became President? Me, or Al Gore?

And look how the country prospered!

And a one, and a two and a onetwothreefour!

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

Hopey McChange will have one or less.

Ahem.

L to the L to tha muthafuckin’ L
That’s why they call me LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

On what grounds, Smirky McCokespoon?

*gets popcorn*

Don’t choke on it, like you did on that whiskey that you told everyone was a pretzel.

I’m talking about impeachment, dumbass.

We were just clearing our throat. What was it you weren’t talking about, again?

looks like the logorrhea thing touched a nerve.

Wait. Does troofie have nerves, or is there just pure cheeto dust?

Ha, two minutes’ silence from Troofie = the liberals win.

Dance faster!

I am tedious and stupid.

Joe biden didn’t quit though.

Not even once.

Sarah Palin got more votes running for Governor of Alaska than I did running for President. TWICE!

Too bad she can only quit once.

Isn’t it adorable when they attack Joe Biden?

He’s exactly what they said George W. Bush was.

Just like John McCain was exactly what they said John Kerry was.

Oops, sorry, zombie r.m.

I heard Sarah Palin quit soooooo hard that Mars paused in its orbit.

Sure it doesn’t make sense, but damn, did she ever quit.

Hey, I’m not getting any badgers on my new install of the killfile script.

I like badgers.

#

pedestrian said,

July 12, 2009 at 2:36

Oh yay! My first nym steal! I feel so important!

*seethes with envy*

The real reason you libs were all pissed off at Glenn Beck and Michael Scheuer is projection. Truth is, it’s you lefties that want America to be attacked.

Now THIS is primo comedy right here – especially coming on the heels of “as a liberal, I was overjoyed to see all those capitalist pigs being fricaseed in the Twin Towers on that wonderful glorious day, allahu akbar” … at least if “projection” had been replaced with “jealousy” the menu at today’s Batshit Insane Buffet would be minimally consistent.

Understanding what projection means – yer doing it wrnog.

Seriously, folks. My whole life has literally been about failing upward.

Is that you, George?

How did you get out of that trouble with the SEC again?

Nevermind, I gotz badgers. Yayz!

I heard Sarah Palin is such a quitter that when she quits around the house, she really quits around the house.

I’d literally crash it into the ground.

Underachiever! McCain crashed five.

Hopey McChange will have one or less fewer.

John Kerry REPORTING FOR DUTY!

Unlike, say, Bush or Cheney. Or Rush or Rummy or any of the other war crims.

I cost the taxpayers millions and millions of dollars. I spent my scholarship to the Navy Academy partying and chasing women. I crashed 5 planes. Some people think I caused the USS Forestal fire.

At least I beat Bush. He only cost the taxpayers 1 or 2 million dollars when he went AWOL after getting jet training.

I served in the Air Force as a fighter pilot.

Pardon.

Pity you were such an idiot at strategy and such a bloodthirsty torture-fanatic.

I got a deferment from the draft!

Underachiever! Cheney got five!

Hi everyone! I’m Sarah Palin, and I’m in it for the long haul!

On second thought, I quit.

I just plain dodged the draft. I was getting high on pot in England and fucking women while young men my age were dying for their country overseas.

And thankfully, he took that lesson to heart during his eight years in office:

According to the CRS, during the Clinton administration, one person in uniform died as a result of hostilities and another 75 died as a result of terrorist attacks. By contrast, during the first six years of the Bush administration, 2,596 troops died from hostilities and 55 from terrorist attacks. (source)

Unlike Dick Cheney, who had “other priorities” during the Vietnam War.

Hey, maybe Bobby Jindal, Mark Sanford, and rush Limbaugh will show up too.

I mean, as long as we’re being treated to this parade of right wing FAILLZORS

Rumsfeld was in the Navy, not the Air Force.

According to the CRS, during the Clinton administration, one person in uniform died as a result of hostilities and another 75 died as a result of terrorist attacks. By contrast, during the first six years of the Bush administration, 2,596 troops died from hostilities and 55 from terrorist attacks. (source)

not to mention that 3000 or so that died from a terrorist attack. How many Americans died from terrorism during Clinton’s term?

‘m fckng nvncbl.

blv Pt Bntr sd t bst:

W cn’t ffrd t b nncnt
stnd p nd fc th nmy.
t’s d r d sttn – w wll b nvncbl

Please bring back George W. Bush. We’ll give you anything. We’ll even throw in Bin Laden.

How come so many dozens and dozens of Republican governmental officials never contacted me?

I just plain dodged the draft. I was getting high on pot in England and fucking women while young men my age were dying for their country overseas.

It should be noted that he’d also cut down to BJs by the time he got to the Oval Office, also

You rotten libs. Don’t you guys realize we work to a different standard than you guys.

When we fail, we win. The highest form of fail is quit – and likewise for us, the highest form of winning is quitting.

TrOoFiE cAnNoT sTaY hErE. tHe MaStEr WoUlD nOt ApPrOvE,

I hold the Republicans dear to my heart, especially those Bush fellows. But dearest of all is my mother, Ronald Reagan. You never forget the one who gave birth to you.

Please, for the sake of GOD, never put anybody with the name of Bush anywhere near the levers of power.

Well of course I side with the liberals. What, you think I’m gonna go where I’m not wanted?

I am proud of my achievements like selling missiles to the Iranians. I have others like that too, but perhaps my proudest one is when founded, and funded, Al-Queda.

We Republicans never forget how much we want to see America destroyed.

Ohh lordy – a Gooper trying to use DRAFT DODGES as a Sooper Sekrit Weapon to defend the brave warriors of teh BushCo Chickenhawk Brigade?

Sure, why not? What could possibly go wrnog?

*stops to clean laughter-spray off monitor*

Results 1 – 20 of about 523,000 for Bush halo

Conservatives, I will not be ignored. You may think you can pretend I don’t exist whenever it suits you, but I kept a record of everything.

Yeah, I’m stalking you. What the fuck you gonna do about it?

I went to Vietnam, did my time and got rotated out after a year. I got married, got a job, had a couple of kids and now I’m getting ready for retirement.

No real point here; I just thought you might like to hear from a non-famous nymjack this evening.

I hope people don’t forget the inspiration that I gave Sarah Palin.

I went to Vietnam, did my time and got rotated out after a year. I got married, got a job, had a couple of kids and now I’m WAS getting ready for retirement, before my pension and 401K got hosed by corporate BK and the stock market.

Not Fixed, but Fuxed

And my brother, Jeb? He is going to be President someday.

Bookmark it, libs.

In the past two days I’ve adopted the mantle of a neo-Nazi with no friends, a copy-paster with no friends, a nym-jacker with no friends, and a mouthpiece for politicians I either hate or want to fellate with no friends. And yet, I’ve never been to me.

Maybe Troofie is the orginal goatse.

Naaahhhh. Goatse-dude has actually accomplished something, even if it was just jamming a basketball up his butt.

I stayed on until the very end despite all the pleas for me to resign, and protected this nation except for that one time that 3,000 people died because I couldn’t be arsed with reading a memo during my month-long vacation, and that other time someone was sending anthrax through the mail, and then there was that time a bunch of people died in New Orleans because “compassionate conservativism” means “let poor black people die of thirst, hunger, or lack of medical care in a natural disaster, it helps trim social service spending”, in spite of liberal whining from the angry left. And you never did defeat me, ever. In fact, I was such a roaring success that by the end of my term, this notoriously racist nation decided that they would prefer a black man named Hussein over me.

Fixxored.

Don’t be mean to me, or I’ll say something anti-Semitic under your name. THEN you’ll be sorry!

Though nothing warms the cockles of my heart, or the voids in my brain, like the Central American death squads. What a bunch of guys, hunh? I mean, you’ve got to be something to grow up Catholic and still be able to gun down nuns.

I’m the luckiest guy in the world.

I’m the luckiest girl in Bizarro World.

Maybe Troofie is the orginal goatse.

A goatee? Isn’t that the distinguishing feature between the real commentor and the evil nym-jacked double?

Ok, now you’re just making up imaginary characters.

I am entirely fictional

I’ve got dibs on troofie!

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Get back in the closet, you pantomime royal person!

Three little fictional characters are we…

fucking pelicans.

Bad Wax: Beyond Palindrone

Reagan the Badass, Bush the Cowboy and Palin the Fighter said,

Three little fictional characters are we…

Duh.

That there governating sure is hard work!

But don’t worry. I’ll be in great shape to be the president in 2012. And I promise I won’t quit next time!

Yo, Sarah…bitch, I’m talking to you! Get out there and represent. And put those fucking sunglasses on.

Welp, I know when I’m licked. Stealing nyms is fun until you run into smarter and better informed people. Then it just sucks.

Oh you nasty libs. We don’t quit because we WANT to, we just quit when the out-of-office monetary offers become too tempting.

We love becoming lobbyists or Fox News commentators. It’s the Free Market in action!

That there governating sure is hard work!

But don’t worry. I’ll be in great shape to be the president in 2012. And I promise I won’t quit next time!

Then again, I should leave an out for myself just in case.

Who says I don’t have a learning curve?

WELCOME

[Ouch! Quit stepping on me.]

I miss Bruce.

(I’m in Heaven When You Smile).

You should vote Republican because my barber can’t explain in an articulate manner why he is a liberal.

I’m Pat Buchanan, playin’ a dude, disguised as another dude!

From a comment at Balloon Juice:

Has there every been a U. S. comedy that just quit after 2 seasons because that was the story?

Just happened last week.

Very good. (I posed the question about sitcoms, fwiw)

“Oh you nasty libs.”

I’d just like to remind everyone that it’s pronounced “Crackwhorian”.

OK, bar’s closed. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Drive careful now.

POOP!

lobbey: yes, I sure am! i’m on a trip right now so I won’t be playing actively until August 8th. In the meantime I’m training some long skills.

BBBB,
Awesome link. I’m not sure if there isn’t a better metaphor for the tiny little fuckwits whose world-view is shaped by RNC talking points than tiny little frogs that live in elephant POOP.

our love is all of gods money

jesus
rides beside me
he never buys
any smokes

George and Lester, Sam and Rudi,
Sitting knitting a baby bootie
Got shat upon by elephant doody.
Said George and Lester, Sam and Rudi,
“Hmm, tastes to me like Tutti Frutti.”

Get your own Skip WIlliamson collections if you want the accompanying cartoon

DKW, I was thinking the same thing, but I didn’t want to keep posting if noone was around (I’m pulling an allnighter at work). The blog is awesome, an old TA of mine (now a perfesser in his own right), and a paleontologist I sometimes correspond with are both regular commenters. Yeah, I’m a nerd.

Speaking of nerdgasms, a true saint will be giving the sermon at the monthly religious observance I attend.

“Saint?” you may ask. Hell yeah- he did unearth a goddess.

While things are quiet, let me announce that I’ll be travelling for a month, starting tomorrow, so the profile will be low. I doubt I’ll waste much time on internet-cafe connections browsing through 500-comment threads.
Lisbon, Madrid, the UK; a few days each in Amsterdam and Brussels, then home via Vancouver. Keep the discourse in the gutter in my absence.

a few days each in Amsterdam

Heh, indeedy!

Bon voyage, chum! You will be missed… could you pre-emptively supply us with a passel of jpegs?

fred, you are the best anonymous script-developer a fellow could ask for.

I’m free! No more tedious right-wing crank shit slathered across my screen like the toilet in Trainspotting! I feel like you’re that tiny woman in Poltergeist telling me that this house is clear!

Seriously, this is fantastic. Now I just have to work on my impulse control problems that lead me to coax the twit on in shorter bursts, and I’ll never have to have problems again!

Keep the discourse in the gutter in my absence

Your wish is my command!

POOP.

Hope the weather clears up for you. There’s been constant rain around central Europe for weeks. The Vondelpark on a sunny day is wonderful; my vague recollection of Amsterdam from last year is that it isn’t the best city to experience on a rainy day.

Also, the prepackaged ham and cheese croissants = awesome.

A little upscale, but d’Admiraal has a great selection of homemade jenevers. If eel is on the menu, I highly recommend it. The owner was a great guy, too- very hospitable, and passionate about booze.

… is that it doesn’t work in real life. So when I kill a black man, and rape a white liberal woman, I won’t be able to pretend to be Jennifer or Tintin. Which kind of makes all my re-directed rage here ultimately just a sign of impotence. I can’t do what I really want to do at all.

TAOKIYAAR

Is this Suomi?

could you pre-emptively supply us with a passel of jpegs?
What, from Amsters in particular? There’s a show of Odilon Redon work at the Van Gogh Museum… I’ll see what weirdness I can get away with photographing.

Fuck, I love Redon. There’s also a James Ensor retrospective in NYC I’d love to see, which if I had a private Republican jet, I could make a pit stop to view on my way to A’dam.
By the way, I forgot to add that Western Civilization must end, and we must all be reduced to gibbering idol-fondling animists by our Dark Continent overlord Obama, who we liberals adore without restraint. Soon it will be mandatory communism, cannibalism and butt sex for all, except for those Wolverinos hidden in bunkers, muttering incoherent prayers to corroded bronze busts of W. in what once was the world-ruling English tongue, but what will be by then a dying dialect known only by a few shivering inbred hunter-gatherers. Cormack “Abe Simpson” McCarthy will turn out to be right..

Damn, RvB! That’s a frighteningly seductive philosophy!!

Also.

And such as.

ifthethunderdontgetya has JOhnathan richman at his blog. With a flying squirrel.

“Cormack “Abe Simpson” McCarthy will turn out to be right..”
The Old Man from that one chapter of the “The Road”? Totally Dick Cheney. Just sayin’.

Sarah Palin quit so hard ten square meters of Hell froze over.

Who let the dogs out?

Alas, I am now only the second funniest Palin ever.

The fact is, we can do more as unemployed real Americans than as elitist job holders. This is central to Sarah Palin’s point. Suck on that libs!

I’m not sure if there isn’t a better metaphor for the tiny little fuckwits whose world-view is shaped by RNC talking points than tiny little frogs that live in elephant POOP.

One big difference: those frogs are kind of cute.

I’ll see what weirdness I can get away with photographing.

I didn’t manage to photograph anything when I was there; when I leveled a camera at a painting a guard immediately showed up and told me in that lovely stern Dutch fashion that “this is not permitted.” If you’re a better sneaker than I, …well, I wouldn’t be surprised. Have a grea trip.

…great…

I can’t wait until Whitey gets fucked over, either. Those stupid southern white cons will get what is coming to them when we institute reparations!

Aw, don’t worry, nobody’s gonna take your mulefriend.