It took a couple of years to catch the arsonist that was running around DC a couple of years ago. Arson is a particularly hard crime to solve (since lots of the evidence gets burned up).

It probably goes without saying that a child named Moe doesn’t start the race with everyone else and can be expected to have some, euphemistically speaking, developmental difficulties

It ain’t the name that’s handicapping him…

I see what he does:

He takes this now-highly edited and parsed column, and runs with it.

Smack into a wall and he forget his short-bus helmet.

Ahem….enhanced since sense

I’m convinced this entire post was just an excuse to use the Sterne footnote. And that’s more than fine with me.

Address his post, libs! Blart.

Hey, Moe Tucker. So there!

Besides, I came here expecting another Magazine video. Instead, I find reference to some crazy nonsense spouted by right-wingers. Don’t you know there are websites for that kind of thing?

Tintin, you don’t come to RedState and talk to Moe Lane like that!

Why would the federal government investigate this crime? Shouldn’t this be a case for local law enforcement? Maybe they need better mayors.

Wheeee!!!! Beautiful.

Moe Lane has just written a post about Church Burnings at a place called Red State – and blamed the black guy. Perfect.

@Rusty: Maybe he’s hoping it’s a hate crime and (Trike Force member that he is) is so intellectually dishonest he’s using the fact that Christianity, as a religion, is protected under the statute to argue for investigation.

So, liberals say Palin is nutsy coo-coo and her church is firebombed and it is liberals fault? But conservatives say abortion is like the Holocaust and that doctors are baby-killers and then those doctors are murdered but this is in no way linked to conservatives?

Is that about it?

@Rusty: Maybe he’s hoping it’s a hate crime and (Trike Force member that he is) is so intellectually dishonest he’s using the fact that Christianity, as a religion, is protected under the statute to argue for investigation.

Well, if it’s a hate crime against Christians, it SHOULD be investigated as such. Ironically, the federal legislation Moe derisively refers to would help empower the feds to investigate crimes like these. From Holder’s testimony, which Moe links:

“Although we at the Federal level are strongly committed to hate crimes enforcement, we recognize that most such crimes in the United States are investigated and prosecuted by other levels of government. The pending legislation would assist State, local, and tribal jurisdictions by providing funds and technical assistance to investigate and prosecute hate crimes.”

Is NCATF still around or did W get around to dismantling it? Anyways,

The Task Force’s arrest rate of 36.2% continues to be more than twice the national average for arson cases.

It is ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING that no arrests, convictions, executions and pogroms enacted against all groups remotely asssociated with the perpetrators haven’t already been concluded by this point in time.

“And, of course, parents that would name their kid Moe probably named his brothers Larry and Curly just to make things worse. ”

That’s unfair. Mr and Mrs Lane probably meant to call their son Tristan, but there was a mix up with the birth certificate.

So I’m reading here in this newspaper that the press has been ignoring a story.

First – and only comment (thus far) – to Moe.

There can be no hate in a crime when conservatives are the targets. Don’t you know that?
Government cannot be the solution when government is the problem.

Moe Lane has just written a post about Church Burnings at a place called Red State – and blamed the black guy

Yes, there is such a large black population in Wasilla, Alaska, I’m sure.

Blacks are smart enough to stay the fuck out of cold places like that.

At the time, several women and children were inside working on a craft project.

You know, maybe soldering spangles to lighters wasn’t such a great idea after all…

Seven months since the Wasilla Reichstag fire and STILL! no arrests.

There can be no hate in a crime when conservatives are the targets. Don’t you know that?

What a pleasant surprise! It’s not breaking down into partisan lines! Alas, it is sure to break down along the line between sane and delusional.

“Results 1 – 10 of about 19,300 for wasilla bible church fire” Very first one is CNN.

Local crime, local law enforcement. Though, perhaps the AK state police could’ve helped move the investigation along more quickly if the competent ones among them hadn’t been fired by Governor Fewer-Brains-Means-More-Room-For-The-Holy-Spirit for sniffing too close to her corruption.

From the Moe Lane’s source article:

Anytime a church is attacked, it is an attack on our constitutional Freedom of Religion, and the press has an obligation to cover the story, and hopefully cast light on the vile subjects responsible for the crime. They have this obligation, regardless of the race, creed, or even party affiliation of the church’s congregants.

Right on! I mean where were the ulta-liberal CNN or <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28213500/"OlbermaNBC? Doesn’t this count as news that’s fit to print? Lie-beral BIAS!!!!screamty-one11!

Anyways, does that mean that Benjamin Haskell should be thrown into Guantanamo?

Huh, and the CNN article quotes the reverend of the church stating outright there were no kids in the building, so Mr. “people are uninformed about this!” is uninformed. SHOCKING.

FYWP. My tags were fucking perfect!

Personally, I blame the Dutch guy.

People, this was a holy place, a place of worship, where people came together in community! Any church, ANY church, should get our full support and community, nay, even federal help in rebuilding.

And then tax the everloving blart out of the atavistic mutherfuckers…

I honestly don’t think I could love this website any more than I do. Every fucking day, you guys hit it out of the park. Mega-kudos.

Seven months since the Wasilla Reichstag fire and STILL! no arrests.

Not yet. The reason for Palin’s resignation still hasn’t been revealed. Coincidence?

“An organized attempt to murder…”

Or a Meth lab gone bad?

Wasilla, Alaska.

You decide.

You always make me grin Tintin!…Great snark, nobody does it better then SadlyNo!

There was a period recently where there were very few posts, but glad to see SN! is back in action…THANKS for a good morning laugh.

Apparently the ATF has been involved since the earliest days of the investigation. What evidence is there that it’s not being taken seriously, the fact that they don’t hold daily pressers discussing a case so cold they’ve been begging for leads since January?

Church arson has been a federal crime since 1996: The Church Arson Prevention Act, 18 U.S.C. 247, prohibits damaging or destroying religious property, or interfering with religious exercise through force or the threat of force, in a manner that affects interstate commerce.

There’s no problem in finding the “affects interstate commerce” requirement, so the F.B.I. has jurisdiction over this crime. As someone pointed out above, it has been only seven months since the fire-bombing, and arson is a difficult crime to trace, so it seems unlikely that Holder and the D.O.J. are dragging their feet on investigating this crime. As usual, the paranoid geniuses behind the Red State Trike Force are looking for enemies to slay where there are none.

Y’know, it’s kind of cute how they have to desperately search for a Democratic conspiracy to justify the fact that criminals actually get away with it more often than not, percentage-wise.

He looks more like a Shemp than a Moe.

Most of the citizens of Wasillia are obviously hard at work making and distributing meth to do something deranged like burning down a church. It just doesn’t make sense. Unless you consider the whereabouts of the Alaska Democratic Party — who were probably somewhere in Alaska!

Now the pieces are starting to come together.

Actually, he looks like a Schmoe…

Remember: they used accelerant on the doors. There’s no chance at all this was meant to be a ‘prank.’

Moe Lane wields the Crayola of Conclusion for us all.

I can’t believe that no one has yet expressed outrage that Tintin would dare to link the resplendent Abby Sciuto to the FBI. As if. [/whargarrbl]

Well, if Moe really cares . . . . *

April 7th, 2009. Meanwhile, investigators continue to search for clues to the cause of a Dec. 12 fire that did an estimated $1 million worth of damage to Wasilla Bible Church.

Wasilla police investigator Ruth Josten said she is working on the case with the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

The federal agency is testing gasoline found at several places around the church for any specific additives, Josten said. She’s also following any tips, though she wouldn’t say how many have come in or how recently.

“Time will be on our side,” she said. “You have to be willing to set a case aside, do some work on it, take in everything that anybody calls you with. An overheard conversation — sometimes it’s that minor of a situation.”

Another fire considered suspicious hits Valley

But of course he doesn’t.

*ironically introductory ellipses

I resent your implication that names are destiny.

Is Moe is agitating for Obama to wiretap Alaska?

Most of the citizens of Wasillia are obviously hard at work making and distributing meth to do something deranged like burning down a church. It just doesn’t make sense.

It makes a lot more sense when you understand that the fire occured during the church’s annual fundraising meth cook-off.

Need some help with that PENIS?

Toasted marshmallows aren’t a good lunch, kid, until you add nutritious graham crackers.

One letter makes all the difference bitchez!

Moe moe moe! Howd’ya like it moe moe moe howd’ya like it howd’ya like it moe moe moe

And since we’re talking about crime in Alaska…
PENIS.

Clek-click, ick-auk (We should have come here ages ago)…Skreeeeee!

Amen, brother!

Somebody hook a relative newbie up.

What’s the deal with the Lunch Lady?

What’s the deal with the Lunch Lady?

We try not to ask and just make sure nothing on the tray is still moving.

Have some ketchup, it’s a vegetable you know.

Damn, I come up with an awesome joke about a church fundraising meth cook-off, and no one notices.

I’m not feeling the love, people.

Oh please, won’t the Sadly do a piece on the rampant number inflation of the Texas tea party being 35k strong? Please. It’s over at the new & improved Free Republic – Fox Nation – right now and it is truly hilarious.

Oh, I’d also like to hear some old Stones, when you guys get a chance.

Jennifer: I noticed it, but I was too high to reply.

OK, Jennifer. How about, instead of “baking bread” the churge ladies thought they said “breaking bad”?

I nearly always get giddy whenever I see a Moe Lane post. He’s definitely one of my favorites. Always an incomprehensible, strain of consciousness, mess of an author.

Wasilla Reichstag fire

PeeJ FTW

a church fundraising meth cook-off

Brings a whole new meaning to the term “Crystal Cathedral”.

It makes a lot more sense when you understand that the fire occured during the church’s annual weekly fundraising meth cook-off.

Fixed for accuracy.

The AP article that Dragon-King W cites clearly tied the arson to homo terrorists:

The 1,000-member evangelical church was the subject of intense scrutiny after Ms. Palin was named Senator John McCain’s running mate. Early in her campaign, the church was criticized for promoting in a Sunday bulletin a Focus on the Family “Love Won Out Conference” in Anchorage. The conference promised to “help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome.”

The fire was set at the entrance of the church and moved inward as a small group of women were working on crafts, Chief Steele said. The group was alerted to the fire by an alarm.

Case closed. The homos done it.

In fact, the only churches that Democrats don’t favor burning down are churches where human sacrifices, black masses and Islamic gay marriages abortions are performed

FTFY.

“Definitely the work of a flamer.”

“marriages” above should be struck through. Tag works in preview, but apparently not in real life. Curse you, WP; curse you with a thousand curses.

The AP article that Dragon-King W cites clearly tied the arson to hoMOE terrorists

I think that sums up the problem right there.

As well as “building the Church on this rock”.

Everyone should read Moe’s source material that actor212 brought up earlier, because it’s awesome in its awesomeness. The author cites several possible reasons for the fire, including this one:

The Wasilla Bible Church has an all-white congregation (While the oft race-baiting press is always quick to cover a predominantly black church being fire-bombed in an attempt to re-inflame the hostilities of the civil rights era, coverage of white victims in the very Republican state of Alaska may evoke sympathy for the wrong side of the aisle.
http://www.examiner.com/x-5919-Norfolk-Crime-Examiner~y2009m6d11-Why-did-the-press-ignore-the-firebombing-of-Sarah-Palins-church

It only gets better after that. Clearly, some weapons-grade wingnuttery.

Actually, that’s one of the reasons for the massive media coverup of the crime. Here’s one of the possible reasons for the arson:

…during the months after Palin was chosen as John McCain’s running mate, teams of Democratic Party operatives swarmed the Wasilla area in an attempt to uncover any dirt that could be used against the Governor.

Could it be that a few of the more zealous Democrat operatives stayed-on and took their devotion to party a step further, and actually set the blaze?

Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church. The ability to come up with that kind of connection leaves me speechless.

“It’s just my nineteenth nervous breakdown…”

at 20:42 Mrs Tilton said,

“marriages” above should be struck through. Tag works in preview, but apparently not in real life.

Hmm. Much like the invisible hand of the market I guess.

The ability to come up with that kind of connection leaves me speechless.

Self-victimimizating is hard work!

Wouldn’t Mr. Lane of RedState be properly dubbed “Moe Lane Rouge”?

Jennifer – I knows how ya’ feel.

I thought “build the Church on this rock” was teh funn-nay.

“Moe Lane Rouge”

La Cage a Fuckwits

Well, ca, since Sarah had ALREADY LOST THE ELECTION when the arson occurred, it was obviously the work of Democrat operatives who were so angry that they…um,…. well, I’m sure it makes sense to them.

Also, for you naifs who haven’t battled WordPress for years, try the [strike] tag. With little angly brackets, of course.

Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church.

Obviously part of the Great Liberal Freak-Out occasioned by the election of John McCain. Frankly, I’m surprised only one white Jesusite church was bombed.

How about some props for the “Breaking Bad” reference?

Undress by roast, libs!!

Pssh, good luck, Steerpike. Fuckin’ libs can’t even acknowledge a Godfather reference.

Who’s mowing the lane now?

FYWP
FYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWP
FYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWP

Fuckin’ libs can’t even acknowledge a Godfather reference.

What we share with Republicans is that we are all victims now.

I’ll bet there’s a Chinese conservative who writes exactly the same kind of stuff. Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein!

*ba-doom-bum tisshh

These are the jokes, people

The homos done it.

I was no-where near Wasillia when that happened. It was totally Actor.

What this thread needs is more PENIS.

Moe Lane Rouge Rube

Just a thought.

I hereby give props to every joke and obscure reference that has appeared on this thread.

Thanks Commie. I needed that validation.

kingubu, I’ll see your Goo on the Loose, and raise you a Burger King Blow Job:

http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/burger_king_ad_shoves_seven_incher_in_her_face_so_she_can_have_it_their_way/

With little angly angry brackets, of course.

Fxx0rd

I thought “build the Church on this rock” was teh funn-nay.

Checking back in and seeing it now, so do I, Pere.

Back again after an extended absence last week…we were celebrating the 1,000,000th gay abortion since Malcolm X Obama stole the election. Then I saw that “Best Thread EVAH” thread with 600+ comments.

It really was the best thread evah! Reading the normal troll-filled post leaves one feeling bloated, cranky, out-of-sorts, with a bad taste in the mouth. This one was different. It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with cane sugar like you get in the Caribbean or Europe. Refreshing, fun, engaging, and entertaining. It should must be in the top 10 S,N! list.

Bookmark it, bibs.

With little angly angry brackets, of course

Hey! Watch it with the fucking racist jokes.

Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church.

Like the robots of Krikkit, they decided it was a beautiful church.

It would have to go

Actor–Douglas Adams ref, I believe?

Aye, et ware.

Tag works in preview, but apparently not in real life.

Letterman went down the route of making Tag Palin jokes and look what happened to him.

Incest my roast, libs!

He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally stupid, and she was terminally petty
She ran for veep, the moose-hunter from –
Wasilla, which is a cold, cold city
She had a nasty reputation as a brainless twit
She said she could see – Russia from her house
They had this in common:
They were both dumb as bricks
She’d say, “You betcha, you betcha” and he’d get a stiff dick
Blogging on Red State
Surely make you lose your mind.
Blogging on Red State.

Not the Eagles, man.

Well, what did you expect in a thread titled “Life in the Moe Lane”?

Oh fuck. I see what you mean. I guess I killed the thread – and I hadn’t even busted out Desperado.

No Moe Thread
It was getting kind of Lane anyway

The thread is dead–Long Live the Thread!!

and I hadn’t even busted out Desperado

It’s like he’s out riding fences or something!

They poke him with their snarky jibes
but they just can’t kill den Beste.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally stupid, and she was terminally petty

“Terminally petty” FTW.

Damn. There aint much I can do with Nyong-Et-Mfoumou.

Don’t forget petty’s band, “The Methmakers”.

Petty’s first (and better) band was “Meth Crutch”

Not to derail the thread or anything, but what was the official outcome of the feared 4th of july Tea bagging protest? I saw some references on site, but couldn’t find them now. Is there going to be a thread about it?

what was the official outcome of the feared 4th of july Tea bagging protest?

It made it so that Obama’s birth certificate magically appeared and said he was born in Kenya, so McCain has been president all along, no take-backs. Exactly as planned.

But srsly, I forgot all about it. I suspect that’s pretty much the impact it had on everyone.

Has someone noticed that the vice president of the Young Republicans, in trouble for chortling at a comment using the word “coon” in her Facebook profile, is 38 years old? Why are all the “young Republicans” in their 30s and 40s?

Nyong ate Mofo?

Why are all the “young Republicans” in their 30s and 40s?

Do you have to ask? That is young for a Republican these days.

Maybe Moe is an acronym.

Minimum operable equipment or Minimal ouptut energy? Or, mean oblique error..

In the midnight hour
She cried moe, moe, moe
With a rebel yell
She cried moe, moe, moe
Wowww
In the midnight hour, babe
Moe, moe, moe
With a rebel yell
Moe, moe, moe

He dont like lib’ruls
He wont sit and beg
But when he’s tired and lonely
Sarah sees him to bed
His mind runs free
He imagines her to be, babe
What sets him free
And drives him out of his tree
Because

In the midnight hour
She cried moe, moe, moe
With a putrid smell
She cried moe, moe, moe
Wowww
In the midnight hour, babe
Moe, moe, moe
With a little yelp
Moe, moe, moe

chortling at a comment using the word “coon” in her Facebook profile

You know, I wish they’d just go ahead and bust out the “n” word and fucking get it over already. It’s so obvious they’re itching to.

Teh GOS has a few posts up this morning regarding Teabaggin’ 2: The Baggening.

Long story short: Most drew literally dozens and at one of the few that did draw more than a thousand people (in TX) Sen. Cornyn and Gov. Perry got booed by the Baggers as being “part of the problem” (Cornyn for voting for Bush’s bank bailout, Perry for supporting a TX toll-roads project).

Really, that fact that most everyone (here and elsewhere) forgot that it was even happening is all you need to know.

iTeh GOS has a few posts up this morning regarding Teabaggin’ 2: The Baggening.

No, no, it’s “Teabaggin’ 2: Electric Bagaloo”

Do you have to ask? That is young for a Republican these days.

That’s the age they are when they commit their “youthful indiscretions.”

…Perry for supporting a TX toll-roads project…

They have a problem with toll roads??? Other than the fact that the toll roads were built by the government, I would think that all toll roads would be the ideal model for a Free-Thinking American Capitalist asshole.

In defense of the coon-chortler, the fact that there was 8 minutes between the offensive remark and the approving response (and that previous to the offensive remark, the same person said something equally nutty but not racist) does not really convince me of her guilt. What with Facebook being all ajaxy these days, it’s perfectly possible to have it open for over 8 minutes before writing a response to a particular thread.

It still doesn’t speak well of her, of course, but neither does being the vice president of the Young Republicans.

What with Facebook being all ajaxy these days, it’s perfectly possible to have it open for over 8 minutes before writing a response to a particular thread.

Yes, but you can always delete a comment on a thread, or even the entire post. The fact that she left it up either means that a) she thought it was okay, or b) that she completely lacks the political acumen to realize how bad it would look. Maybe both.

I’ll bet there’s a Chinese conservative who writes exactly the same kind of stuff. Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein!

Here

http://instantrimshot.com/

You earned it.

Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein

A noodly kind of guy, for sure.

working on crafts

So that’s what they call it.

Steepike, you are on FIRE on this thread!

…kinda like that church.

Not only did she leave it up until it got too hot, she apparently unfriended the two folks who spoke up against it. linky

This crime would have been solved if Wasilla had gotten the $1.3 million dollars Mayor Palin requested for the purchase of patchouli-sniffing dogs.

On our way back from the 1,000,000 Gay Abortion Celebration, we came across one of these here teabagging protests in person. It was in the medium-sized, red-necky town of Liberty, pop roughly 10,000, in upstate NY. I estimate 150 people there.

I laughed. I cried. I took pictures. Then I laughed at them as I drove off.

What a bunch of dumb clucks. There were far, far more people at the July 4th parade/street fair in the center of that town.

Interestingly, the Teabagging Party organizing page on the Intertoobz lists the mess as being led by a “Richard Yaun”, and it was right across from a street called “Yaun Avenue”. This illustrated the grassrooty nature of the thing….

OK, yeah, she’s a fucking racist.

And I see that the young republicans are ‘under 40’, which makes one wonder why a 38-year-old would be their vice president.

Moe isn’t the name his parents gave him
But nobody calls him Maurice
Cause he doesn’t speak with the pompetus of love.

being led by a “Richard Yaun”

And a Yaun-fest I’m sure it was.

And a Yaun-fest I’m sure it was.

I dunno, Dick Yaun has some possibilities.

Not only did she leave it up until it got too hot, she apparently unfriended the two folks who spoke up against it.

Cue repig whining about the “liberal media” and “unfair bloggers” in 3..2..1…

Moe moe moe! Howd’ya like it moe moe moe howd’ya like it howd’ya like it moe moe moe

The chilluns needs a vizual.

I dunno, Dick Yaun has some possibilities.

I didn’t even catch this. Shows how phonetically challenged I am. On that theme, maybe it was actually a goatse production.

Teabagging – dick yaun – goatse – teabagging…

IT’S ONE BIG CIRCLE! Oh noes!

goatse … IT’S ONE BIG CIRCLE!
I see what you do there.

That kid’s name was Moe Lane, and the site he help build was RedState. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn’t even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him at that site.

Dick Yaun – isn’t that what that new ad from Booger King is all about?

Dick Yaun – isn’t that what that new ad from Booger King is all about?

You mean this one?

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/06/burger-king-offers-women-seven-inches.html

Wasn’t Dick Yaun the original Darren from Bewitched?

Lt’s cp nd trd xygn!
By Jms Lws
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Hr’s th gl. f w cn nly gt fv blln ppl rnd th wrld t brth 20% lss xygn pr prsn, w wld Sv th Plnt frm Glbl Wrmng. Jst lk tht!

Twnty prcnt lss 2 gng nt yr bdy mns 20% lss C2 t-gssng, tm-fr-tm. t’s jst lk cttng dwn th wrld ppltn by blln plltng xygn hgs.

Cppng xygn s ctlly th hrdst prt. nc y lrn t ct dwn yr ntk, w jst st p mrkt t trd ffcl crdts fr th nbrthd 2 tht y cld hv nhld bt ddn’t. Lt’s ssm fr th sk f plntry cmptr mdlng tht y cn prsnlly ct dwn yr brthng by 20%. Try t! Jst hld yr ns nd brth thrgh strw. nd whn y gt tht strngld flng, jst rmmbr y’r Svng th Plnt. Ly bck nd thnk f Pl Krgmn.

Dd y vr wnt t ls wght? Ths s th clgclly rspnsbl wy t d t. t’s th xygn Sprng Dt. f y brth jst n-ffth lss xygn y’ll b tng n-ffth lss fd, bcs yr bdy ss ll tht xygn t mtblz yr Frnch frs nd ft-brgrs. Th bnfts r t f ths wrld.

Nw hr’s th fr mrkt ngl. Cngrss cn pss lw sttng tht f y chv mr thn th mndtd Ntnl 2 Rdctn f 20% y wll rcv n ffcl S Gvrnmnt xygn Trdng Crdt fr ll th xygn y dd nt brth bynd 20%. t’s lk prc spprts fr frmrs, xcpt tht vrybdy cn ply. Fr nstnc, f y ct yr 2 dwn by 25% y rcv 5% xygn Trdng Crdt, t sll t yr hffng nd pffng nghbrs n fr mrkt bss. f y brth 30% lss, y gt 10% TC. t’s spply nd dmnd!

r cnsdr ths ptn: Fr th vrg fmly f fv — tw dlts, tw kds nd dg — jst gt rd f fmly mmbr. Y cn strt by gttng rd f yr dg. D y hv ny d hw mch xygn rnnng dg brths? D yr Plnt fvr, pls. nd nc y gt th hng f t…

vn crs brth xygn t brn gsln. Ct yr drvng by 20% — ftr ll, y wn’t nd t drv nw tht y’r brthng lss — nd nt nly wll y ct crbn plltn, bt y cn slc vn mr ff yr grdy xygn xcss. nd dn’t frgt tht y cn sll ll yr xygn Trdng Crdts t yr 2-hggng nghbrs.

nc y gt sd t cttng dwn yr 2 y’ll lk yrslf lt bttr. Th Plnt wll thnk y. S wll yr nghbrs.

Try t f y dn’t blv t. Brth n jst lttl bt lss vry sngl dy, ntl y’r dwn 10%, thn 15%, 20% … nd mr? Y cld ctlly bld yr ncm frm th xygn Trdng Crdts f y mng t ct dwn by 30% r vn 40%. Jst brth thrgh tht strw nd hld yr ns.

Rmmbr, xygn s <B>Psn!

Wasn’t Dick Yaun the original Darren from Bewitched?

You’re thinking Dick Yank^H^H^H^H – *ahem*, York.

Ah, Cut&Paste troll… reminding us all that “humor” is merely a word to conservatives.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Suck it, Twoof.

Suck it? That is what I did with my Daddy last night. MMMmmm

With little angly angry brackets, of course

Brackets are for girly-men. Real bloggers use full-size bracks, which are about 5 times as large.

I like to call brackets Barackets now.

Real bloggers use full-size bracks, which are about 5 times as large.

It’s all about “size” with some guys.

I know that curly brackets look like this — {} — but which is the larry bracket, and which one is moe?

If the nym-jacking is about to start, I would like the next post under my nym to be a poem about a haircut.
But lofty, noble, tragic, timeless, full of love, treachery, retribution, quiet heroism in the face of certain doom! Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!

Ooh, namejack me, please! I missed out the last time.

But lofty, noble, tragic, timeless, full of love, treachery, retribution, quiet heroism in the face of certain doom! Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!

OMFG you did not just make a “Cyberiad” reference.

Trurl & Klaupacius FTW.

It’s all about “size” with some guys.
I hz a buck!

I can’t beleive all these comments and no one has mentoined the most obvious suspect in the Wasilla church fire. It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.

It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.

On which side, though?

I can’t beleive all these comments and no one has mentoined the most obvious suspect in the Wasilla church fire. It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.

So, Hillary Clinton did it?

Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!

IN SESTINA FORM.

Serves those homophobic Xtian fanatics in anyway, they deserve what they go.

*deserve what they got.

Grinding gleeful gears, Gerontogyron grabbed…
Feck, wrong sonnet.

Real physicists use bra-ket notation!

It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.

Not cool.

Don’t be so bigoted against Wiccans.

Seduced, saggy Smutty snored
Something something

Hey how many “somethings” am I allowed to use?

Off-topic: OMG U guyz, Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.

Ooh, namejack me, please! I missed out the last time.

Your wish is my command!

Something about PENIS.

Off-topic: OMG U guyz, Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.

Maybe Rummy can save him a spot in hell, since he is a fellow genocidal maniac/war criminal.

Before troofie goes all LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL on us I feel it is my duty to point you towards a Stephen Fry Speech I’m reading. I made it to the 4th paragraph and met:

Acquit me of false modesty when I state that I take it as certain that when Mr. D’Ancona, the Spectator’s sappy young editor, announced to his readers (and I dare say to his staff) that he had chosen me to deliver the inaugural lecture there were many horrified screeches of startled disbelief and agonized howls of apoplectic protest. Surely persons such as I are exactly what the Spectator holds itself foursquare against? Am I not just about the Platonic form, paradigm and pattern card of everything the magazine was put on this earth to dispraise, damn and destroy? I am a crew member of that ship of fools, the sneering liberal elite, a cheerleader of the chattering classes, a loathsome Labour luvvie, a champagne socialist a – goddammit – a celebrity, a twittering celebrity dripping with the sickening syrup of popular culture, political correctness and nauseating kneejerk liberalism that is the leading symptom if not the primary cause of our national decay. It is as if all nature conspired to make a living suppurating mass, a walking purulent bolus compounded of all the poison and pus that oozes and weeps from the sores of today’s Britain and gave it legs, life and a name. Stephen Fry. Lo. Gaze upon him. Know your enemy. And it is he, he of all people, who has been chosen to give the inaugural Spectator Lecture. Eheu fugaces: o tempora o mores. Ichabod. The glory is departed.

As the saying goes, “I saw this and thought of you.”

Linky

I think what truly made me understand what a POS McNam was was when the child molester from “Happiness” played him. But that’s just me.

Hey how many “somethings” am I allowed to use?

As many as you like, as long as they’re all different somethings. And you have to make sure that the verb ‘something’ agrees with the pronoun ‘something’, or people will make mock of your grammar.

Maybe Rummy can save him a spot in hell

But, er, Rummy is still alive. Are you suggesting that Donald Rumsfeld is a direct agent of Satan, only on Earth by the fiat of infernal majesty?

Because I’d have to agree with you on that one.

Libs, caress my post!

Something something
HA HA RB mis-spelled the second ‘something’!

Phoning it in today, troofie.

Bottom still sore from yesterday, or what?

But, er, Rummy is still alive. Are you suggesting that Donald Rumsfeld is a direct agent of Satan, only on Earth by the fiat of infernal majesty?

Ah damnit I meant to say “maybe he can save Rummy a spot in hell” but your theory works, too.

We have to go to Hell with the Defense Secretary who died, not the Defense Secretary we WANT to die. *squint*

Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.

You sure? I heard his recovery is within reach, right around the corner, just a few more bombings away.

HA HA RB mis-spelled the second ’something’!

I also micespelled “shaggy” but the result was pleasing.

Not cool. Don’t be so bigoted against Wiccans.

Troll, hyper-super-meta-ironic, or just not got the hang of this place yet?

Troll, hyper-super-meta-ironic, or just not got the hang of this place yet?

In a bad mood from falling off her broom?

Your snark meter is off, Gilchrist.

Something about PENIS.

Pretty good, not bad, I can’t complain
Actually everything is just about the same

Your snark meter is off, Gilchrist.

Clearly. Pardon.

Yeah, I burned that bitch’s church!
B to tha urn-t! Watcha gonna do now?
How ya like me now. boyeee?!

Once there was a little church
Scorched one night while stars did turn
It’s left the parish in the lurch:
No place to wish a witch would burn.

Well, who was Palin’s big rival for the nomination?

Romney.

What is Romney?

A Mormon.

And as we all know, Mormons aren’t really Christian.

Anyone else starting to connect the dots?

Churches on fire
and all the Sadlynauts went Wiccan
Shopping their photos
Of the Governor turned chicken

I never got name-jacked in the last thread, but I did go back and post a comment so it hits the thousand comments mark.

A start for Smut:

Scissors snicking, severing strands
Stylist’s swayings- seeming sarabands.

Lookit Burt Prelutsky:

Speaking of fairness, I have come to see that Fox News is something like our own version of Radio Free Europe, getting the truth to those of us behind the Obama Curtain.

Yay! Now I can inform on him and get him sent to the gulag!

Ohh, Troofy. Trying to recapture the magic from this weekend. And with a James Lewis article, too! Oh well.

Anyone else starting to connect the dots?

And it came to pass that a candidate did appear from the lands of the north, yea, even unto a hockey mom. And it came to pass that she saith unto the people, Behold, for I hath given birth to a child, and his countenance is white and delightsome. Behold, for the images you record of the fruit of my loins shall be iconic, yea, even unto the love of a hockey mom for her learning-disabled son.

And she did say, Behold, those who desecrate the sacred icon of this child, with their whoring, and their priestcrafts, and their strivings, and their secret combinations, even unto them shall be poured out the punishment of God, or at least of my lawyers. And there shall be gnashing of teeth, and sufferings, and inveighings, and casting out of spirits, and those little Mexican lollipops with the chiles in them, and ponies.

And it came to pass that all of these prophesyings, which were prophesized by the prophet, came to pass. Behold, here’s a few pages of Isaiah to keep Cowdery busy while I think of something else about Jewish injuns.

I have come to see that Fox News is something like our own version of Radio Free Europe

Has Fox News considered using the opening bars of Beethoven’s Fifth at the beginning of every broadcast?

My heart is black, and my lips are cold
Churches on flame with rock and roll
Three thousand guitars they seem to cry
My ears will melt, and then my eyes

Oh, let Sarah, let that Sarah, rock and roll
Churches on flame now, with rock and roll

For Smut’s haircut paean – you need the word ‘susurrus’, but I can’t for the life of me bracket it in other s-words.

#

Angry Wiccan said,

July 7, 2009 at 1:16

Yeah, I burned that bitch’s church!
B to tha urn-t! Watcha gonna do now?
How ya like me now. boyeee?!

Regardless of the link, that was a spoof.

I would never use the expression “B to tha urn-t”.

Oh, and I’m not a Wiccan. I’m a simple, heretic Pagan scum. Also.

Any song about Palin’s church and witches needs to include a little bit of “ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.”

I think “Wasilla Willa Bing Bang” would work better.

Maybe even “Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang”.

I never got name-jacked in the last thread

Well, time to correct that error!

PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. PENIS.

I’m slightly disturbed by the lack of “Iquitarod” jokes in this thread.

Thank you for the name-jack, but please do it with more flair. Also, I would never write PENIS without a link.

PLZ DO BETTAR!!!

JanusNode speaks!:

“I don’t think it’s right for her to just disappear on us like that,” said Iesha Beverly-Weasel

I’m slightly disturbed by the lack of “Iquitarod” jokes in this thread.

How dare you make a joke about A-Rod having sex with the underage Willow Palin?

“He was giving an African prayer to an American Christian,” said Jacob K. Olupona, a Harvard African studies professor. “His prayer reflects his own background and his own training and his own world view. America may not believe in witchcraft, but witccraft is a reality.”

There you go. A shout out to Wiccans from a Harvard professor.

Maybe Moe might could snoop around in L.A. and find who he’s looking for:

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2009/05/three_auburn_men_arrested_in_s.html

Beenie Man sings the songs of Alaska.

Sin sinner, who burned the church in Wasilla?
Wasn’t I, the Dems them did-a
MSM, they buried that story in a rush
Pass me the keys to my snowmachine

Of the New Hampshire Beverly-Weasels.

Hey now, my cousin’s name is Moe (short for Maurice). And his brother is neither Larry nor Curly. Anyway, how ’bout Lane producing a spinoff of a popular series: CSI Wasilla. The gang will solve this church-burning case in one hour minus commercials.

I’m totally disturbed by everything on this thread.

I fear unless each and everyone of you cleans up your assorted acts, along with issuing the appropriate apologies, I shan’t be back.
~

PLZ DO BETTAR!!!

Arrgggghhh. This name-jacking thing is hard work.

PENIS.

From Pharyngula:

She notes that the second act has Brother Sam teaching a “biblically accurate but somewhat irreverent “Bible class” in which Brother Sam satirically details the symbolic use of penises throughout the Scriptures. “Nobody ever told me that what ties the whole book together, its narrative thread, is penises,’ he says

And if Moe ain’t satisfied with that, he can go CCF:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/12/church.fires/index.html

The point is, Church Burning is a Southern thing, like noodling, or eating boiled peanuts, or sweetening tea. Alaska ain’t got nothing on these rednecks.

Several sedatives safely slipped,
Sartorial stature suddenly snipped

Ha ha, wasn’t Troofy’s YouTube profile plastered with Auburn University or something? Please tell me Troofy is sitting in jail right now…

Oppress my proles, libs!

Ooo Eee Ooh ah ah
Ting Tang Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang
Ooh Eee Ooh ah-ah
Ting Tang Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang.

Now, you’ve been full court pressing me
Just like I was a point guard
And I’ll admit I wasn’t very smart
So I went out and found myself
A job that’s not as hard
And the rest of you can suck it, Sarah-cuda’s outta here!

Watercress on toast, libs!

Ok, whats so funny about “something something my posts, libs”?

This was very difficult.

Ok, whats so funny about “something something my posts, libs”?

Particular trolls have made demands to be answered along those lines. It’s sad and pathetic, as are many of the responses.

Caress my goats, libs!!!

Wait. RB, are you addressing TS’s post? What are you, some sort of lib?

A dress of stoats, libs. Fur is murder!

Only liberals actually believe that if you disagree with them, you’re trampling on the 1st Amendment.

Oh Burt, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.

Wait. RB, are you addressing TS’s post? What are you, some sort of lib?

Was my sadness and patheticnes – patheticousn – pathetiticitude in question or something?

Perhaps that should have been:

“Assess my goatse, libs!!!!”

Fucking Iesha Beverly-Weasel. I’m going to be cackling about that all night.

OT, but Shithouse Troll goes LOLCat Motivational.

Slow evening here chez Gilchrist.

Geez Gilchrist, animate that.

Geez Gilchrist, animate that.

Beyond my talents, sadly.

O.K. So I was wrong. The Church Burning really isn’t your thing. All right then. Try this. Postapocalyptic instructions in various languages.

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/magazine/17-05/ff_guidestones?currentPage=all#

You got nothing on us, still.

YCPLoaR,

It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with cane sugar like you get in the Caribbean or Europe

Hmmm… let’s just try out PeeJ’s helpful tip:

It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with cane sugar the tears of Republicans like you get in the Caribbean or Europe Communisthomoislamicland

FTFY? We shall see…

Oh Burt, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.

The store won’t take him back. I told them he’s broken but they said he’s supposed to be like that.

Jesus, Xecky…I’m gonna have to send that link to my mom! (She’s been…privy to the Shithouse Troll for quite a few years now.)

Calloo! Callay! Strikeage has been acheived! All hail PeeJ, conqueror of WP.

(She’s been…privy to the Shithouse Troll for quite a few years now.)

I wish her great joy of it.

I applaud your telling her about the Troll. Not sure my folks would have understood. Heh.

Isn’t it obvious that Bill Ayers is the arsonist?

Shithouse Troll goes LOLCat Motivational.

Can’t make out the title of the reading material…

this and this might help.

Agress my coast MadLibs

Can’t make out the title of the reading material…

It’s a Sears Roebuck catalog.

Soros sent sheckels, subsidizing
Siginificant strand shortening

Silent susurrus sounded softly
Swift scissors slicing

Shaggy sassenach sees self
Suddenly Susan shorn

It’s a Sears Roebuck catalog.

Full of lewd undergarment woodcuts, sent by the devil to tempt young boys to unclean habits?

…tempt young boys to unclean habits?

As a young boy, I was sent to a convent for an education and I ended up uncleaning several habits while I was there…

Soros sent sheckels, subsidizing
Siginificant strand shortening

Silent susurrus sounded softly
Swift scissors slicing

Shaggy sassenach sees self
Suddenly Susan shorn Seymour

As a young boy, I was sent to a convent for an education and I ended up uncleaning several habits while I was there…

Such establishments are far from my orbit, but I was under the impression that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.

Maybe Rummy can save [McNamara] a spot in hell, since he is a fellow genocidal maniac/war criminal.”

The worst hell for those two would be to spend eternity in each other’s company.

Has Fox News considered using the opening bars of Beethoven’s Fifth at the beginning of every broadcast?

Don’t laugh. NBC used the second movement of Beethoven’s Ninth to close their news broadcasts back in the ’60s, when it was one of the evil biased hippie networks undermining Nixon and the Vietnam War.

Subjective GGWB Thread Rating:

Topic: B- (!Malkin-related)

Creativity: B

Offensiveness: B

Enthusasm: C

All right, enough practicisingerating. Smut’s name, like my shit-box, ain’t gonna tonguejack itself.

Some say “something something” somethings
Smoothly. Said souls signify sheenest.

Shaggy slackers – still stylistically smooth
Some seen, some seener, some seenest

Suddenly, shaving seems salient. Serious.
Snip snip snip, sussurus sounds – PENIS.

FREE TIME ALERT!

…that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.

Indeed they are. And for some obscene reason – devoutly religious folks keep sending young boys there so that the nuns can edumacate them. It’s true, I read it in Victorian-era porn!

Whoops, forgot to un-name jack.

Dammit, I’ve been here a few hours and Idi Amin already made me his bitch. That wouldn’t have been that bad, but then he gave Jack Ruby a shot. That was humiliating. I hope to God that picture of me shaking hands with Ho Chi Minh never gets out.

Victorian-era porn!

I spent a very confused four hours on a bus once reading “The Pearl.” Nearly missed Binghamton.

Mike Post’s address, libs!

Hey Robert, have you seen Nixon yet? And is LBJ there?

Believe it or not, Dick’s in heaven. Towards the end he got a buddy at the Moonie Times to print a death notice for Dan Hedaya and one thing led to another. Clever fuck.

Where’s Ronnie Ray-gun?

At the end of Al Capone’s dick. They call it the “California Pizza Kitchen”.

Did the previous poster fall asleep during a showing of “The Kid Stays in the Picture” and wake up halfway through “The Fog of War”?

Where’s Ronnie Ray-gun?

The only question is which circle.

I can place every recent American President in either heaven or hell except for LBJ. I don’t know if he rots in hell for Vietnam, or goes to heaven for the Civil Rights Act?

I guess LBJ is in Limbo?

“…I was under the impression that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.”

So are whorehouses. Don’t mean men and boys can’t visit ’em.

I guess LBJ is in Limbo?

Kinda puts the whole heaven/hell thing in perspective, don’t it?

I’d just like to add: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Yank you very much!

“I guess LBJ is in Limbo?”

Didn’t think he’d be flexible enough to do that dance.

Two things: one, it is entirely unnecessary to make me think about Ronald Reagan being sodomized by Al Capone; two, that is entirely unfair to Mr. Capone, since all he did was kill a few dozen people.

YOU DEMONCRAPS BURNED DOWN THE ARYAN CHURCH OF WASSILLA AND NOW YOU’VE FORCED MY BELOVED SARAH TO ABORT HER OFFICE IN THE SECOND TRIMESTER OF HER FIRST TERM!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SO-CALLED “COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM”, YOU BADGER-HUMPING LIE-BRALS???!!!???

Snip snip snip, sussurus sounds – PENIS.

Much obliged, Dragon-King Wangchuck.

Proof of non-nymjackdom .

Was his family name originally Ron, Rons, or Rans, by any chance?

Moe “Lane” sounds like a fakeronym to me and it’s not hard to see why he’d want to do that.

Shaggy sassenach sees self
Sassenach? [Dons Cameron-of-Erracht-tartan kilt]. Consider yourself insulted in authentic gaelic.

He-a ves a herd-heeded mun
He-a ves tutelly luethsume-a, und she-a ves sooperffeecielly pretty
She-a held heem up, und he-a held her fur runsum in zee heert
ooff zee culd, culd ceety
He-a hed a nesty repooteshun es a crooel doode-a
Zeey seeed he-a ves roothless, zeey seeed he-a ves croode-a
Zeey hed oone-a theeng in cummun, zeey vere-a
guud in bed
She-a’d sey, ‘Fester, fester. Zee leeghts ere-a toorneen’ red.”
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Soorely meke-a yuoo luse-a yuoor meend, mm
Ere-a yuoo veet me-a su fer?

Ieger fur ecshun und hut fur zee geme-a
Zee cumeeng ettrecshun, zee drup ooff a neme-a
Zeey knoo ell zee reeght peuple-a, zeey tuuk
ell zee reeght peells
Zeey throo ooootregeuoos perteees, zeey peeed heefenly beells
Zeere-a vere-a leenes oon zee murrur, leenes oon her fece-a
She-a pretended nut tu nuteece-a, she-a ves cooght up
in zee rece-a

Oooot ifery ifeneeng, unteel it ves leeght
He-a ves tuu tured tu meke-a it, she-a ves tuu tured
tu feeght ebuoot it

Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Soorely meke-a yuoo luse-a yuoor meend
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a, iferytheeng ell zee teeme-a
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a, uh hooh
Blooeen’ und boorneen’, bleended by thurst
Zeey deedn’t see-a zee stup seegn,
tuuk a toorn fur zee vurse-a

She-a seeed, “Leestee, beby. Yuoo cun heer zee ingeene-a
reeng. Ve-a’fe-a beee up und doon thees heeghvey;
hefee’t seee a guddem theeng.”
He-a seeed, “Cell zee ductur. I theenk I’m gunna cresh.”
“Zee ductur sey he-a’s cumeen’, boot yuoo gutta pey heem cesh.”
Zeey vent roosheen’ doon thet freooey,
messed eruoond und gut lust
Zeey deedn’t cere-a zeey vere-a joost dyeen’ tu get ooffff
Und it ves leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a

REDRESS MY BOAST, LEEBS!

She can solve any crime. If they had just brought her a cinder from the fire, she would have sniffed it

But her sense of taste is such that she’ll distinguish with her tongue
The subtleties a spectrograph would miss.

Proof of non-nymjackdom .

Awww, such a cute picture of Trig. Or Tripp. Or Saws-All. Or Trigger.

Whatever.

I took it to be Rush Limbaugh.

Nearly 300 comments and only one mention of Shemp? Good God, people!

Geez Gilchrist, animate that.

Beyond my talents, sadly.

I may have to take a, er, poke at that a bit later. I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure.

But her sense of taste is such that she’ll distinguish with her tongue
The subtleties a spectrograph would miss.

And announce her decision
While demanding her reward
The jellyfish kiss.

I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure. I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure.

Search for “outhouse seat” on flickr, title is “Sears Awaits”. I’d rather there not be a link coming right from here because the image is copyrighted, so I’m a horrible thief for using it, and I definitely can’t recommend that you download it and make a hilarious animation out of it, wink wink.

The hand is, of course, God’s own from The Creation of Adam.

Yeah, I recognized Teh finGAHs.
I’ll sniff around the outhouse seat on flickr and see what I find.