Gov. Moose Eater steps down

She didn’t even finish out her first term as Alaska’s governor. K-Lo, amazingly, thinks this shows she’s more fit than ever to be president:

Mother Palin [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Who knows all the reasons — Todd and Sarah Palin, presumably fully understand.

Listening to her, it seems like this is a combination of stepping back and moving forward. Stepping back, because it’s way too overwhelming to be Sarah Palin, political phenom, Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, and Sarah Palin, wife and mother. I don’t know that anyone can fulfill all those roles well, simultaneously. And we’re unrealistic, I think, when we assume people can or should.

One reservation I’ve always had about Sarah Palin has to do with her family. If she is stepping down because of what politics has done to her family, because of something in her family life she doesn’t want to see as David Letterman fodder, because it’s impossible to be governor, a star, and a mom to an infant … this is good. It demonstrates good judgment and priorities.

Uh, well gee. Barack Obama is somehow able to be a political phenomenon, a father and husband and the president of the freaking United States. We don’t elect people because they aren’t able to multitask, K-Lo.


UPDATE: This is not a normal person:

I thought that she still had a shot to win the GOP nomination before watching the video. Then I watched the video. Mitt Romney is popping champagne as we speak.


UPDATE II: K-Lo has been reduced to sad blubbering. Look at this:

Gerry Seib’s Romney Time Timing Is Better Then He Knew?

Keep her away from the sharp objects, someone!


UPDATE III: The nail in the coffin — Bill Kristol thinks this was strategic brilliance:

Kristol: A Contrarian Take

If Palin wants to run in 2012, why not do exactly what she announced today? It’s an enormous gamble – but it could be a shrewd one.

After all, she’s freeing herself from the duties of the governorship. Now she can do her book, give speeches, travel the country and the world, campaign for others, meet people, get more educated on the issues – and without being criticized for neglecting her duties in Alaska. I suppose she’ll take a hit for leaving the governorship early – but how much of one? She’s probably accomplished most of what she was going to get done as governor, and is leaving a sympatico lieutenant governor in charge.

And haven’t conservatives been lamenting the lack of a national leader? Well, now she’ll try to be that. She may not succeed. Everything rests on her talents, and on her performance. She’ll be under intense and hostile scrutiny, and she’ll have to perform well.

All in all, it’s going to be a high-wire act. The odds are against her pulling it off. But I wouldn’t bet against it.

Posted by William Kristol on July 3, 2009 05:06 PM | Permalink


UPDATE IV: It just occurred to me that these things always occur in threes. So who’s next? Bobby Jindal, do you have a lobster fetish we should know about?

 

Comments: 403

 
 
 

Now she gets to join the ranks of Shelley Long, David Caruso, and Sherry Stringfellow in the “bad career moves” club.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

…it’s impossible to be governor, a star, and a mom to an infant …

So she’s running for president.

 
 

When I saw in the headlines that she was resigning, I was really hoping it was the endpoint of a career-killing political scandal. Oh well.

 
The Truthful Problem With In-Laws
 

Running for President with 4 years to go? Maybe, but it’s also possible there’s backwash from her problems with either the local nepotism she indulges in, or her relations with the GOP in general, and she’s resigning to set up her own independent movement now, whilst she’s got the time to do it and make a clean break.

But hey… remember how “Mr GOP/The Truth” etc was just recently telling us how Sarah Palin was one of the Republican’s best hopes? And now it turns out she can’t even finish one term as a Senator before resigning. That thar is some serious political POWAH!

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

When I saw in the headlines that she was resigning, I was really hoping it was the endpoint of a career-killing political scandal. Oh well.

There’s something going on. She was out of breath and more incoherent than usual. She was also rambling on and on about people who were out to get her…I think there’s something coming down the pike.

And I am rubbing my hands together in glee and anticipation.

 
 

“I was really hoping it was the endpoint of a career-killing political scandal”

There’s something we don’t know yet. No one would just quit. Makes no sense.

 
Incontinentia Buttocks
 

I know that K-Lo has mad cognitive-dissonance-overcoming skillz, but how does she square her sense that Sarah Palin really cannot be expected to function as Governor of Alaska with her belief seven months ago that this woman was fit to be VP of the United States?

 
 

this is a combination of stepping back and moving forward

and always twirling towards freedom.

 
 

She’s Going Galt! Obama was going to force Porkulus on her state!

 
 

I know that K-Lo has mad cognitive-dissonance-overcoming skillz, but how does she square her sense that Sarah Palin really cannot be expected to function as Governor of Alaska with her belief seven months ago that this woman was fit to be VP of the United States?

That was before Letterman made a joke about her daughter, obviously.

 
 

If she is stepping down because of what politics has done to her family, because of something in her family life she doesn’t want to see as David Letterman fodder, because it’s impossible to be governor, a star, and a mom to an infant … this is good. It demonstrates good judgment and priorities.

See? Letterman did her a fucking favor by making fun of her larva.

Wow. Condescending much there, K-Lo?

 
 

Maybe Sarah will run for Senator. Maybe she needs time to get ‘clear’ of her Thetans. Maybe she will co-host The View after Joy Behar leaves. Maybe she will provide cogent analysis of the news for Bill O’Reilly, after he spazzes out when Al Franken is sworn in as The Esteemed Senator From The Great State Of Minnesota. Maybe she will be the new Superintendent of the Fox News Security Service. Maybe she will write a cookbook and promote it on Kelly & Regis. For sure, she will find a way of getting attention.

Jennifer said at 22:19
Now she gets to join the ranks of Shelley Long, David Caruso, and Sherry Stringfellow in the “bad career moves” club.

hee hee. don’t forget the “Hello Larry” guy, and Gary Dourdan of “CSI”.

 
 

She was out of breath and more incoherent than usual

To paraphrase Dorothy Parker when informed of Calvin Coolidge’s death:

“How do you know?”

 
 

i wouldn’t discount scandal in the background. it’s pretty suspicious to me that it happens the same week as vanity fair’s expose, kristol v. schmidt, and cbs digging up todd’s ties w/the alaskan secessionist party.

anyway, this can’t look good even if she just wants to gear up for a super colossal way awesome run against obama. who wants a president that quits her job all the time?

ps did anyone besides me notice trig was nowhere to be found @ her conference?

 
 

Watch her statement. It’s fucking whack. I mean, I know I’m talking about the Wasilla Wingnut, but I think it’s kind of odd even for Palin.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

My favorite part is when she quotes her parents’ refrigerator.

 
 

She is out of her mind. Sounds like a campaign speech of some sort though.

 
 

Sounds like a campaign speech of some sort though.

Not like any I’ve ever heard. That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. Even weirder than Mark “Soul Mate” Sanford.

 
 

How does this fit into the Palingenisis-2012 scenario?
Are we More Screwed or Less Screwed?

 
 

I’m a horrible human being of course, but the world doesn’t actually need more Trigs.

 
 

And we’re unrealistic, I think, when we assume people can or should.

Poor Sarah! Conscripted into governorship against her will and better judgment.

 
 

Listening to her, it seems like this is a combination of stepping back and moving forward.

AKA a stagger and a face plant.

If she is stepping down because of what politics has done to her family, because of something in her family life she doesn’t want to see as David Letterman fodder, because it’s impossible to be governor, a star, and a mom to an infant … this is good. It demonstrates good judgment and priorities.

And if she’s stepping down because she’s woefully inadequate and crooked?

 
 

That video’s much funnier with the sound off.

Personally, I think she’s clearing the field for Trig.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

Good lord, who’s going to stop Putin from rearing his head now?!

 
 

K-Lo has been reduced to sad blubbering.

Not a pretty site, I’m sure.

 
 

Or “sight” for that matter.

 
 

In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life – my children (where the count was unanimous… well, in response to asking: “Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children’s future from OUTSIDE the Governor’s office?” It was four “yes’s” and one “hell yeah!” The “hell yeah” sealed it – and someday I’ll talk about the details of that…

Trig kicks ass.

 
 

Her timing couldn’t be better. The only Alaskans who still like Palin live in Wasilla’s Mug Shot Saloon, an Old West-style bar in the midst of the strip malls that line the Parks Highway, [where] the smoke’s thick, cowboy music plays in the background, Fox News is on the TV, and locals are defensive of their hometown girl..

 
 

It’s the week of celebrity carnage, isn’t it?

(Too soon? Not soon enough?)

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

How does this fit into the Palingenisis-2012 scenario?
Are we More Screwed or Less Screwed?

If she is pregnant again, it is most certainly the Antichrist, and we are totally fucked.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

She’ll still win the nomination, or at least be a frontrunner. This is the GOP we’re talking about, rationality is a weakness.

 
 

Hmmm. I just had a flashback to Patty Hearst’s “I have decided to stay and fight” declaration – you know, after she was kidnapped and got all coerced and brainwashed, and then proclaimed her choice to fight the enemy as part of a band of citizen-soldier-revolutionaries.

Yes, I know. I do not anticipate that anyone else experienced this same flashback, but damn, how about that not-so-sub sub-text? Like she’s proud to be an Alaskan, but she must now take radical measures because it seems like the United States of Hussein is trying to conquer Alaska, probably to hand it over to the once and future caliphate, and free men and women must resist. (Is this where I yell “Wolverines”?)

Gotta make a Palin poster a la Che Guevara. Or at least re-do the Patty Hearst SLA guerrilla poster.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Hey look, a fellow obscure Morrissey reference!

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

This really is freaky. I can visualize her head sticking out of a tank turret as she leads the Alaska National Guard in an assault on Seattle, on the way to seize the oil fields of California.

 
Judas Peckerwood
 

“If she is stepping down because of what politics has done to her family…”

Yeah, who could ever have guessed that using your kids as political props could ever turn around and bite you on the ass?

 
a concerned citizen
 

What the hell is she talking about? In order to change government, she must step down? And then do what? Sorry, couldn’t make it through the whole video.

I bet she gets a job at Blackwater. When these assholes talk about “less government” they actually mean “more private government”. When she talks about changing government from the outside, she is most definitely not talking about something grassroots — and I don’t see her going the lobbyist route or anything like that. The only next logical step I see is to put a paramilitary sheen upon herself and get ready to lead the rapidly growing neocon-loyal private militias in this country. It’s hard not to make GI Joe analogies at this point.

 
 

One reservation I’ve always had about Sarah Palin has to do with her family. If she is stepping down because of what politics has done to her family, because of something in her family life she doesn’t want to see as David Letterman fodder

Heat…….kitchen…….etc.

 
 

AKA a stagger and a face plant.

Trig kicks ass.

Too funny.

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

The footage posted above is fake. Here’s the actual scene today; I urge you to take a look:

Sarah Palin Announces Her Resignation as Governor of Alaska

 
 

She certainly told us multiple times she had already given us her reasons without ever actually giving her reasons.

 
 

I believe it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

Hmm, She was going win the presidency and then surrender to Alaska.

She obviously got caught by an ally of the Republican party and is now being blackmailed into resigning.

 
 

It’d be awesome if she led the Alaskan Independence Party.

 
 

Six minutes of insane gibberish. She won’t waste Alaskans’ money by staying on?

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Okay, I’m watching the video and what the fuck. I have no idea what she’s saying. Is this improvised stream-of-consciousness beat poetry? And she sounds so panicked to be talking in front of so many people, as usual. It’s like a minor character from Fargo reciting Finnegans Wake at gunpoint.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

Hey look, a fellow obscure Morrissey reference!

Hi, my fellow sad-sack!!! 🙂

It’d be awesome if she led the Alaskan Independence Party.

Holy shit! Maybe this is the opening salvo of the Conservative Civil War!

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

Why today? What other stylish shoe is going to drop here?

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Holy shit! Maybe this is the opening salvo of the Conservative Civil War!Don’t say delicious things like that, you’ll get my hopes up.

 
Nosfer-Blart-Two
 

Doesn’t this resignation also put Todd out of a job too? Who’s going to take a meeting with him now?

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Something’s up. She sounds like a hostage being forced to make a statement, talking fast and nervous (…I almost said “fast and bulbous”).

Has anyone checked to see if she’s blinking Morse Code?

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

OMG, will there be a Conservative Coup tomorrow, and she’ll be installed as Acting Interim President, when they put the Congress in administrative detention?

 
 

Is this improvised stream-of-consciousness beat poetry?

According to Camille Paglia, yes; no, according to the sane. (That’s chiasmus, Camille.)

 
 

It’s like a minor character from Fargo reciting Finnegans Wake at gunpoint.

Anna Livia Plurabelle, eh?

 
We Are Symbionese, If You Please
 

Palingenisis..antichrist..hmmm..
OMFG!!1! She is the Jackson egg donor!

 
 

It’s like a minor character from Fargo reciting Finnegans Wake at gunpoint.

That made me laugh.

Okay, she is, um, moving to Russia to avoid prosecution.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Oh, ya, three quarks for Muster Mark, you betcha.

 
 

“America is now, more than ever, looking north to the future. And it’ll be good. So god bless you.”

What the fuck does any of that mean?

 
 

My guess : Levi’s on Oprah next week to present his tell-all book.

 
 

Jim Nuzzo, a White House aide to the first President Bush, dismissed Mrs Palin’s critics as “cocktail party conservatives” who “give aid and comfort to the enemy”.

He told The Sunday Telegraph: “There’s going to be a bloodbath. A lot of people are going to be excommunicated. David Brooks and David Frum and Peggy Noonan are dead people in the Republican Party. The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?”

Mr Nuzzo, who believes this election is not a re-run of the 1980 Reagan revolution but of 1976, when an ageing Gerald Ford lost a close contest and then ceded the leadership of the Republican Party to Mr Reagan.

He said: “Win or lose, there is a ready made conservative candidate waiting in the wings. Sarah Palin is not the new Iain Duncan Smith, she is the new Ronald Reagan.” On the accuracy of that judgment, perhaps, rests the future of the Republican Party.

Ahahahaha!

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

Rich “Starbursts” Lowry sez: “I think I have pretty well-established credentials when it comes to being charmed by Sarah Palin, but that statement, as a statement, was simply terrible.”

Heh.

 
 

America is now, more than ever, looking north to the future

“America is leaning on cheese!”

“What was that?”

“I SAID, AMERICA IS LEANING ON CHEESE!”

 
 

A basketball analogy???
Are u fucking serious???

 
 

Kristol: “The odds are against her pulling it off. But I wouldn’t bet against it.”

Wotta dork.

 
 

The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?

Tho’ cowards cringe and traitors sneer

We’ll keep the stupid flying here

 
 

We Are Symbionese, If You Please said,

July 3, 2009 at 23:15

Oh gawd, it took me a minute but I just realized where that is from.

 
 

If Kristol had trashed this move, I’d have been worried. But man, he never lets me down. He’s wrong all the time, every time.

 
 

This speech is an instant classic. It is a tour de force of batshittery… It’s her “Sgt. Pepper’s.”

Somebody needs to put together a Keyboard Cat video for this.

 
 

It’s an enormous gamble – but it could be a shrewd one.

Huh, “shrewd” obviously means the exact opposite of what I always thought it meant.

 
 

She looks manic.

Just think how close she came to being our VP.

shudder.

but yeah, I’m in the indictment/adultery camp.

holding my breath.

 
 

Huh, “shrewd” obviously means the exact opposite of what I always thought it meant.

Maybe he was gettin’ his Elizabethan on and meant to write “shrew’d”, as in “lo, there lies the shrew’d one north of us, keeping watch on the borders of our land where the bear of Russia threatens”

 
 

In. Co. Herent.

That is probably the single weirdest speech I’ve ever watched.

 
 

I’m in the indictment/adultery camp

Hasn’t she been there before? Todd’s business partner and the trooper?

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

It does give off the vibe that some personal thing that has yet to surface is involved. Something that would distract her from the basket.

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

I just wished she’d ended on:

“Thank you. Now I’m gonna jump in this plane and go shoot some wolves.”

 
 

I think Palin was furiously jealous that Mark Sanford had stolen her thunder as the nuttiest, most rambling Republican Governor, and she had to make a move before he did.

Now Sanford’s going to have to do more than resign to keep the title. I’m thinking that he can either declare himself ‘Governor For Life’ or South Carolina’s 3rd Senator. Or declare that South Carolina will be seceding from the Union and becoming the newest Argentinian state.

 
 

I expected her to end it with “Rock over London! Rock on Chicago!”

 
 

“ps did anyone besides me notice trig was nowhere to be found @ her conference?”

Yes. I asked my husband, “So where’s her stage prop?”

Who knows if that signifies anything.

 
 

Or declare that South Carolina will be seceding from the Union and becoming the newest Argentinian state.

Cripes, I knew there was a reason I had the urge lately to learn Spanish.

 
 

Filtered Palin:

“Look, these ethics investigations are nickle and diming me to death. No ethics rules, No ethics violations! Hah, take that meanies!!!”

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

This is good news for McCain.

 
 

Doughy Pantload is going to be on WGN radio in Chicago later this evening to expound on Palin.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

As summer media events go, this beats the living shit out of shark attacks. Want some popcorn? I’ve got plenty.

 
 

We need those who will respect our Constitution where government’s supposed to serve from the BOTTOM UP, not move toward this TOP DOWN big government take-over… but rather, will be protectors of individual rights – who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and pass the ball when it’s time so the team can win! And that is what I’m doing!

That’s some kind of beautiful.

 
a concerned citizen
 

I’d love to hear what Kevin Johnson has to say about her point guard analogy.

 
 

Palin’s speech reminded me a little of this:

 
 

call an audible and pass the ball

Never heard it called that before.

 
 

Via Halperin: NBC News: Alaska Governor is “fed up with politics” and “does not want to run for higher office.”

“She has told some of her biggest backers in the national Republican Party that they are free to choose other candidates for 2012.”

 
 

and I thought we were going to be able to laugh at the tea-baggers this weekend…

hehehe

 
 

“The odds are against her pulling it off. But I wouldn’t bet against it.”

In the Goldberg-approved conservative dictionary, “the odds” — like ‘shrewd’ — is defined in a way that differs slightly completely from previous pre-9/11 definitions.

I had not been aware that there was some sort of race among Republican governors to be the first to resign (not to mention the competition to deliver the most incoherent interview). Why weren’t we told?

 
 

I had not been aware that there was some sort of race among Republican governors to be the first to resign (not to mention the competition to deliver the most incoherent interview). Why weren’t we told?

They were trying to save it for us for Christmas but Sanford jumped the gun.

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

SARAH!!! (SOB…….).

SAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU SAID YOU WOULD LEAVE THE FIRST DUDE AND MARRY ME IN ARGENTINA, BUT I NEVER EXPECTED YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR HOLY OFFICE AS THE SNOW QUEEN TO DO IT!!!!!! YOU ARE MY SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

“Bobby Jindal, do you have a lobster fetish we should know about?”

Jindal had an affair with Dr. Zoidberg?

How embarrassing…for Zoidberg.

 
 

Sex tape. About to hit the internet. Bookmark it, liberals.

 
 

Umm, not being expert or anything, but am I the only one who while listening to that got the feeling of someone who was high on some sort of “upper” or something? Is this how she really speaks? It was as if he had taken few wakeup pills before the press conference, and was running twice the speed of normal person.

As for “the looming scandal ” yet to strike, here is a good time to make guesses.

I’m guessing Bristol is pregnant again, mommy got a bit upset when she heard the news and broke open a bottle of pills.

 
 

Sex tape. About to hit the internet. Bookmark it, liberals.

If this is true, we won’t hear from a large number of male conservative bloggers for weeks, maybe months. They will be otherwise occupied occupying themselves.

 
 

As for Palin, the general consensus seems to be that some major-assed scandal is definitely waiting in the wings. From the descriptions of her press conference, she was clearly rattled, nervous, unhappy about the entire situation.

Something’s up. Abruptly quitting like this, in the flakiest manner possible, isn’t some set-up for bigger and better things down the road. It just does not look good.

 
 

By the way, the ball is now in Michele Bachmannnn’s court for craziest rebuttal.

 
 

Get lost, Kristol.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

Umm, not being expert or anything, but am I the only one who while listening to that got the feeling of someone who was high on some sort of “upper” or something?

Yes.

 
 

I won’t dispute the drugs hypothesis, but I also think people suspecting anxiety attack have a good angle, too.

 
 

America is, now more than ever, looking north to the future.

Perhaps she thinks Santa Claus actually is coming to town.

 
 

She sounded like she was on the verge of angry tears. I thought she was supposed to be so tough– the “pitbull with lipstick” and “Sarahcuda” and all that. She’s stepping down because a blogger made a photoshop? Either she’s the thinnest-skinned politician in American history or there’s a whopper of a scandal that’s about to bust loose.

This is all just so bizarre. You would think for a huge career-defining moment like this they would at least take the time to put together a professional speech, but I guess these people aren’t exactly rocket scientists.

 
 

If she is planning on running for 2012, she just handed her future opponents a GOLDEN tape to use in their campaign ads against her.

 
 

Also, yeah. Just saw the presser. Yiiiiiikes. So of course I agree with this:

If she is planning on running for 2012, she just handed her future opponents a GOLDEN tape to use in their campaign ads against her.

You betcha!

 
 

Abruptly quitting like this, in the flakiest manner possible, isn’t some set-up for bigger and better things down the road.

You’d think so, but the speech was so full of the usual bullshit – though more poorly arranged – that I think she thinks she has a future.

Todd Palin, secret yiffer.

 
 

“Immiseration” is clearly a spelling mistake. The intended accusation is that you were all wishing for Sarah Palin to undergo gender reassignment — you were seeking her immisteration.

 
 

With Palin you must always assume that the most lunatic, farcical possibility IS the actuality. So…
Jackson egg donor FTW!
The timing, the crazy-ass kids names (Blanket,Trig)..it all fits people!

 
 

Damn, ex-Governor, you’ve been Kristollized! Prepare for eating Ramen with your hands and selling costume jewelry on QVC!

 
 

Still, ya gotta love Bill Kristol. “THIS IS IT FOLKS, HER WINNINGEST MOMENT, WHICH I PREPARED FOR EVER SINCE I MET HER ON THE NATIONAL REVIEW FUNDRAISING CRUISE AND THEN BEGAN PESTERING JOHN MCCAIN 27 HOURS A DAY FOR MADAM STARBURST TO BE VP.”

 
 

It’s obviously the liberals’ fault. All that asking her what newspapers she reads and what she thinks about that Bush Doctrine thingy. All Obama was subjected to was accusations about his citizenship, patriotism, etc. And that whole “palling around with terrorists” thing. Yeah, those libs sure can dish it out but can’t take it.

Also.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Palin’s Razor.

 
 

Yes, Mr Kristol, words of wisdom: “The odds are against her pulling it off. But I wouldn’t bet against it.” Much better to bet on something like, say, Iraq becoming the newest member of NATO.

 
 

I wonder what the Ole Perf is saying about his beloved….

SARAH PALIN TO resign as governor?

UPDATE: Thoughts from John Hawkins and The Anchoress.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with her decision, but she’s been subjected — along with her family — to more abuse than any other non-national-officeholder I can think of.

ANOTHER UPDATE: More thoughts from Tigerhawk. Plus, here’s video.

Also, Palin Quits To Spend More Time with Couric, Gibson. Meanwhile, C.J. Burch emails that she may be trying a Tea Party run. Could be.

Shorter Glenn Reynolds: Move along! Nothing to see here! Some laughable wingnuts say so!

 
 

My money is on a Kristol Palin baby on the horizon.

 
Sarah Palin's ATM Machine
 

Feed me a stray kitten.

 
 

>I’m guessing Bristol is pregnant again

Or Sarah is.

 
 

One thing’s for certain: This makes McCain look like an even bigger fool for choosing her to be his running mate.

Heh, heh, heh, heh!

 
 

>I’m guessing Bristol is pregnant again

Or Sarah is.

Or both!

 
 

My money is on a Kristol Palin baby on the horizon.

Bullshit. I may despise Sarah Palin, but unless Kristol’s got some blowdart applied roofies, no way she’d sleep with that catfish-faced fucktard. I’m still thinking Mark Sanford. NGA meeting hotel tryst. You watch. It’d be soooooo awesome.

 
 

Something something Ted Stevens.

Enemas?

 
 

Something something Ted Stevens.

Enemas?

With enemas like this, who needs friends?

 
 

Maybe you’re right, El Cid, but I hear Honduras needs a new fascist President….

 
 

she’s been subjected — along with her family — to more abuse than any other non-national-officeholder I can think of.

O, how she has suffered, while that lame-ass pretender Obama only has to put up with being called a shallow, dumb, hubristic terrorist-communist-fascist-secret-Muslim-anti-American-Anti-Christ-Hitler.

 
 

When these assholes talk about “less government” they actually mean “more private government”.

Thanks for crystallizing that thought.

 
 

>I’m guessing Bristol is pregnant again

Or Sarah is.

Or both!

I saw only one daughter at the presser, and noticed that she was wearing a shapeless dress…

 
 

that lame-ass pretender Obama only has to put up with being called a shallow, dumb, hubristic terrorist-communist-fascist-secret-Muslim-anti-American-Anti-Christ-Hitler

Well, the caveat was “non-national office holder”.

The second Obama McStaliny became a national leader, all bets were off, retroactively no takebacks.
.

 
 

And this is very good news for John Mccain. Also too, maybe Willow got knocked up for real. And no, I am not confusing her with Bristol the actual knocked up one or Piper the little girl. Or maybe Track knocked up an Iraqi muslim girl. Or maybe Sully had it right all along, Trig is Bristol’s baby. Or she scheduled an abortion and didn’t go through. Her speech pattern was definitely of one who was lying.

 
 

The video cut off the beginning of her speech. Full transcript here:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/2009/07/full-text-of-palins-resignation-speech.php?ref=fpblg

Ratio of exclamation points to sentences extremely high. Especially love this:
If I have learned one thing: LIFE is about choices!

Palin is apparently quitting to write Ziggy greeting cards.

 
 

I think she’s clearly clearing up her schedule to make some time to go hike the Appalachian Trail for a spell.

 
 

Ooo, it would also be funny if this had something to do with Levi getting ready to spill some beans. He’s been in the news a lot too.

 
 

Obama only has to put up with being called a shallow, dumb, hubristic terrorist-communist-fascist-secret-Muslim-anti-American-Anti-Christ-Hitler.

Victoria Jackson complains that communist is not a strong enough word for Obama.

 
 

What the fuck? I’m 2 minutes in to the video, and what in the blue hell is this chick babbling about? I’ve read choose your own adventure books sequentially that made more sense. I’ve heard high school presentations from students who didn’t prepare anything that sounded more together.

If I never hear this airhead say “Alaska” again, it will be too soon. Have fun raising more teenage mothers, Sarah.

 
 

Palin is apparently quitting to write Ziggy greeting cards.

She’s going to have to practice using a lot more unnecessary quotation marks.

 
commie atheist
 

David Kurtz at TPM has the definitive Shorter Sarah:

Perhaps the best part of Palin’s announcement today:

Life is too short to compromise time and resources… it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: “Sit down and shut up”, but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.

Quitters stick to it. Winners quit.

 
 

Victoria Jackson complains that communist is not a strong enough word for Obama.

Man, BigHo gets all the A-Listers. Victoria Jackson? Really?

 
 

To paraphrase Dorothy Parker when informed of Calvin Coolidge’s death:

“How do you know?”

Pedant point – it was “How could you tell?”
Pedant point II – the topper to that punchline was Benchley’s, “Because he had an erection!”.

 
 

Victoria Jackson? Really?

It’d all be funnier if she strummed along with her ukelele.

 
 

FWIW, at least one Spanish newspaper says their sources have new fake Honduran ‘President by Some Sort of Congress Vote or Shit’ Micheletti preparing to leave the country.

Which I think is mainly preparatory gossip, but I wouldn’t be surprised, because at best Micheletti was the army’s puppet, and those are some nasty death squad sumbitches and I wouldn’t be surprised if he just saw the visit of the Organization of the American States’ Insulza as a good way to get the fuck out of Dodge.

 
commie atheist
 

As far as Jindall goes, he killed whatever chances he had in 2012 when he gave that goofy speech after Obama’s first “State of the Whatever.” Bobby’s been pretty quiet since then; either he’s hoping everyone will forget that speech eventually, or he just figured it wasn’t worth it having to see the video every day between now and the election.

 
 

Is governorship now the Republican minor league farm team of crazy?

 
 

Caught this late, was out fooling around.

So Willow’s pregnant?

 
 

Well, the caveat was “non-national office holder”.

The second Obama McStaliny became a national leader, all bets were off, retroactively no takebacks.

It was awfully nice of them to wait until after he took office before they started.

Palin is apparently quitting to write Ziggy greeting cards.

She’s going to have to practice using a lot more unnecessary quotation marks.

I think you mean: …she’s going to have to “practice” using a lot more… “unnecessary” quotation marks!

 
 

Sarah Palin is a star? Who knew?

Although she must be one, because apparently she did everything she set out to do as governor in one half of one term.

Are these guys approaching Stupid Overload yet?

 
 

Palin is apparently quitting to write Ziggy greeting cards Zippy the Pinhead cartoons.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

The Updo to Nowhere.

 
 

Victoria Jackson complains that communist is not a strong enough word for Obama.

Ain’t she one o’ them elitist Hollywood actor types? I thought they wuz s’posed to just shut up ’bout politics?”

 
 

MSNBC will be running the whole 18 mins. of Sweet Sarah’s speech @ the bottom of the hour: 7:30 ET, 4:30 Pacific, fly-over country figure it out yourselves.

 
 

“A basketball analogy???
Are u fucking serious???”

She even got that wrong. First she says the point guard’s job is to keep his eye on the basket. Then to keep his eye on the ball. The second is a baseball term. The first is wrong, because it’s the point guard’s job TO KEEP HIS EYE ON HIS OTHER FOUR TEAMMATES. He’s setting up (and calling for) a play. The basket is exactly NOT where he’s aiming.

I agree with those who said she sounds rushed and breathless. Which reads as coerced or on drugs. And, as always, the obvious ludicrousness of this was so obvious I didn’t see it, although many here did: If she can’t attend to her family as governor, or she can’t “work for change” as governor, why the biscuit-baking fuck would she be able to do those things as President?

I’m hoping the Sadly Nosian theory about an impending scandal is right. But even if not, now we’ll have her to kick around without even the legitimating office of governor to shield her. Everything she does and everywhere she goes will have to be paid for by donations, which come attached with debts, strings, favors expected, etc.

As Dominick Dunne said when OJ vowed he would spend the rest of his life searching for his wife’s “real killer,” “Let’s watch.”

 
 

Palin is apparently quitting to write live out and re-enact Zippy the Pinhead cartoons

Fixted ^2.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Ooo, it would also be funny if this had something to do with Levi getting ready to spill some beans.

Levi knocked up Sarah? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

 
 

UPDATE: This is not a normal person:

in which Sarah Palin imitates a Stepford Wife on Wasilla crack.

She is certifiable.

 
 

Remember kids, on this Independence Day,

God Bless Our Brave Drone Pilots!

 
The Chicago Way
 

So I see BO and his minions in the MSM have ruined the career of a patriot, mother, feminist, and all around good person.

Congratulations, libs, you’ve ruined a womans life and career through your slimeball urban, Chicago tactics. Feel good?

 
 

Oh come now, Chicago Wingnut, if there was really a “scandal” as you imply Sarah would have fessed up to us all about it in her 18-minute soliloquy. Why are you impugning her good name by suggesting she’s lying about her simple, honest desire to spend more time with Teh Troops?

 
Bo and his Minions
 

Feel good?
Ohh yeahhhhhh.

 
 

Wow, the speech. The text over at Huffington Post says it was provided by “the Governor’s office.” All those ALLCAPS and scare quotes? Did Sarah write this herself?

This is truly bizarre.

I agree that her affect is weird – she might be on drugs, she might be holding back tears, and she’s certainly lying about something.

Wonder what the deal is about the kid’s vote for her to quit – four saying “yeah” and one saying “hell yeah” – which she can’t tell us about till later.

And yes, talk about handing someone a campaign ad. She just tattooed the word “Quitter” on her forehead.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

The reality of the situation (and her attributes) is precisely the opposite of what you said, Way. If anything, it’s likely that she was pushed off the plank by her old GOP pals.

 
 

Congratulations, libs, you’ve ruined a womans life and career

Little ole me?

If she can’t take a joke on Letterman, you don’t want her in the White House. Even you should be smart enough to accept that.

 
 

Wow, you mean it’s really THAT easy to destroy a Republican super-star? Jeez, and we thought the Great Socialist Sharia Nazi take-over of your pathetic capitalist, God-fearing nation was going to be HARD!

 
 

Now would be a good time to send a letter to Jonah Goldberg, listing the names of other Republican politicians who could be the subjects of future columns and recipients of his encouraging advice.

your slimeball urban inner-city, Chicago tactics
UR DOIN IT RONG.
Got to keep the dog-whistles on the right pitch.

 
 

I hope someone has taken away Coach Urban Meyer’s shoe laces,tie and belt away. He seems like the type for DaDa-sutee…

 
The Chicago Way
 

0this wasn’t just a Chicago takedown, it was a RAPE. The Democrat Party, BO, and the MSM RAPED Palin.

 
 

Congratulations, libs, you’ve ruined a womans life and career through your slimeball urban, Chicago tactics. Feel good?

Yes. Except that any “ruining” was through her slimeball country, snowbilly tactics.

 
 

Shorter Chicago Wingnut:

“Buh, buh…Leave…Sarah…alone! BOOO hoo hoo hoo…”

 
 

Jesus! They’re playing the entire thing on MSNBC. It’s like a Thomas Pynchon and Clive Barker made a movie. The only sensible part are the coots (or gulls) hooting in the background.

The world needs more Trigs

Win.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

We Are Symbionese, If You Please

Best nym evar? May be.

 
The Chicago Way
 

Taking down a woman by viciously attacking her family.

Is that how they do things in Chicago and Wilmington?

 
 

At Firedoglake there’s an update:

Oxdown Gazette

Update: This just in my inbox, from a source connected sometimes to CNN:

“Here’s a quote I got from law enforcement here in Alaska yesterday afternoon regarding Palin “a criminal indictment is pending authorization.”

 
Nosfer-Blart-Two
 

She mentions in her speech about Alaska spending millions of dollars, and wasteful bla bla and smear bla. Could she be about to be sued for one of her actions as governor? Something she would lose, and now the new guy can reverse without complaint? I think the “victims being forced to pay for rape kits in express violation of federal rules” is the thing. I love guessing games, how much opiated suppositories were in MJ’s butt at death?

 
The Chicago Way
 

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 
 

This just proves my point about liberals. Whatever that may be today.

 
 

And yes, talk about handing someone a campaign ad. She just tattooed the word “Quitter” on her forehead.

Since she’s resigning for the good of Alaska. you’d think she’d put the nation ahead of her ambition to ruin it.

 
 

Don’t listen to that asshole above me.

 
 

Blart.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

I thought that Sarah Palin was this tough she-woman who could have ten kids at a time and shoot some wolves in sub-zero weather with her hands behind her back. And she was taken down by a bunch of liberal-ass pussy whiners in the emessem and the Nobama administration? Hippies are tougher than I thought, I guess.

 
 

Taking down a woman by viciously attacking her family.

Um, if by “viciously attacking” you mean “making a joke about the family she thrust into the public spotlight when it suited her politically”.

Personal responsibility and all that.

 
The Chicago Way
 

What if Limbaugh made a joke about Malia getting pregnant? I’m sure yoiu would be outraged then.

But now, EVERYTHING is on the table for us. Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

 
 

Hi, troofy.

 
 

Congratulations, libs, you’ve ruined a womans life and career

Now I am become lib, destroyer of Caribou Barbies.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Interesting that he can’t resist throwing “urban” in there.

Like the politics of “rural” Chicago (aka, the rest of Illinois) are totally fair, it’s just those nasty, filthy, disgusting South Side Chicago politics with their urban beat that are wicked and spiteful.

 
 

She mentions in her speech about Alaska spending millions of dollars, and wasteful bla bla and smear bla

According to the Alaska blogger at The Mudflats (whose site is down right now, understandably) that’s a total lie. The cost to the state of the ethics investigations is (I think) around $250,000, of which the most costly bit, some $187,000 is for the Troopergate investigation that Sarah filed against herself in some kind of jiujitsu move to control the issue.

 
 

0this wasn’t just a Chicago takedown, it was a RAPE.

Actually the reason she didn’t take any questions was that her water just broke and she had another 45-minute solo drive ahead of her.

 
 

Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

q.v. Clinton, Chelsea ’92-’99

 
commie atheist
 

I know that technically pigs don’t have fur, but tell me that this doesn’t qualify as the first furry movie ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2tP9s8y2Ic

Make sure you watch to the end, which is truly horrifying.

 
 

The Chicago Way:

We probably would be. And you know what? None of us would put it past him to do something at least that tasteless, if not more so.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

Well, apparently you guys are fucking sissies, so I don’t see this ending well for you.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

The complete conservative lack of ability to take responsibility for their very own failures. On parade for all to see, from now til the end of time.

 
 

Wilmington?

Wilmington is in North Carolina. It’s famous because it used to be NC’s largest, most prosperous city, but in 1898 it also made history by having its black-majority led city government overthrown by an armed white supremacist coup d’etat which was never reversed.

Or do you mean Columbia because the Governor went AWOL out of office for a week, ditching security and blowing off legal obligations to transfer authority down the chain of command?

Oops, I mean ‘private family matters’.

 
 

Now I am become lib, destroyer of Caribou Barbies.

Yeah, really. Who’d have though Sarah Barracuda would be such a marshmallow?

But it’s a great object lesson – bullies find their own level. She could push people around on the Bball court and in Wasilla, but she couldn’t take her game to the majors.

Seriously, anyone who even likes her should be glad she’s not in national office.

 
Mouthful of Kelp
 

Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

You don’t seem any better at that than you do at softball.

 
 

What if Limbaugh made a joke about Malia getting pregnant? I’m sure yoiu would be outraged then.

And you know what? Your ugly ass would be here telling us how funny you thought it was. Revealing both your and Rush’s character.

and if he did, I hardly think Obama would cry and resign.

 
We Are Symbionese, If You Please
 

Death to the Fascist Insect that preys upon the Life of the People!
Oh and death to goldfish too. Tasty, tasty goldfish.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

She ruined her career by being so spectacularly bad at it.

 
 

But now, EVERYTHING is on the table for us. Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

Next GOP move: openly using the N-word when referring to Obama and his family.

 
 

Yeah, but I’m thinking Malia will be taught by her parents about contraception and stuff, instead of telling her that God made her from a rib.

 
The Chicago Way
 

El Cis, I’m talking about the Wilington in Delaware, asswipe. The one Biden is from. Another urban political machine.

 
 

Congratulations, libs, you’ve ruined a womans life and career through your slimeball urban, Chicago tactics. Feel good?

Well, my hands a bit sore from the continuous high-fives I’ve been doling out the past few hours, but otherwise… yeah.

 
 

I hardly think Obama would cry and resign.

WIN

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

Yeah, now that that pansy-ass Marquess of Queensberry fag0rt Karl Rove is out of the picture, they can get nasty with us.

Sit on your thumb, troofie.

 
 

Republicans fear the powerful, dangerous political machine of Wilmington, Delaware?

Really?

Is there anything which doesn’t make you people cry anymore? Don’t you think Papa Reagan would be disappointed in you to see you throwing pathetic fits all the time over crazy nincompoop loser politicians?

 
commie atheist
 

Now I am become lib, destroyer of Caribou Barbies.

Marry me.

 
 

The cost to the state of the ethics investigations is (I think) around $250,000, of which the most costly bit, some $187,000 is for the Troopergate investigation that Sarah filed against herself in some kind of jiujitsu move to control the issue.

So it sounds like she has to find some other way than “durn librul investigatin’, you betcha” to explain that $1.65 billion deficit.

 
these songs of friedman are all I ever had
 

How long will they kill our prophets while we stand aside and look???!?!?

 
 

Oooh, my first proposal! I swoon!

 
commie atheist
 

Oooh, my first proposal! I swoon!

Oh, pshaw. I bet you say that to all the commie atheists.

 
 

But now, EVERYTHING is on the table for us. Welcome to hardball, liberalinistas.

What were you holding back? We already heard:

Communist
Socialist
Elitist
Ghetto
Wife hates America
Kenyan
Muslim
Faked his Birth certificate
Love-child of Malcolm X
Killed his own Grandma
Eating ice-cream while Neda dies
Arugula-eater
Dijon mustard-lover
Can’t talk without teleprompter
Killed another kid in Indonesia to make his bones
Crack dealer
Homo
Takes your gun away
Reverse racist
Pals around with terrorists
Didn’t write his own book
Gave the Queen the wrong gift
Bows to the Saudis, kowtowing to muslims
Shows his shoes to the world, offending the muslims
Loves him some Chavez
Naive idealist
Evil political mastermind
His wife has a big booty
Ungrateful to that poor, generous Mr. Bush
Prefers orange juice to coffee
Can’t bowl

So, when are you going to take the gloves off?

 
 

Is there anything which doesn’t make you people cry anymore?

The thought of Islamofascists dropping a nuke here.

 
 

Danger, in the game when the stakes are high
Branded, my heart was branded while my senses stood by

I’ll never find another girl like you, for happy endings it takes two
We’re fire and ice, the dream won’t come true

Sarah, Sarah, storms are brewin’ in your eyes
Sarah, Sarah, no time is a good time for goodbyes

 
 

Happy endings, hyuk.

 
 

She’s having a Susan Boyle off-stage breakdown.

 
 

Republicans fear the powerful, dangerous political machine of Wilmington, Delaware?

OMG THEY CANCELED MAH BIGLOTS CARD!

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

But now, EVERYTHING is on the table for us.

I’m sure everything being on the table is nothing new in the Limbaugh household.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Sarah, Sarah, whatever made you want to change your mind?
Sarah, Sarah, so easy to look at, so hard to define.

 
 

She ruined her career by being so spectacularly bad at it.

Friggin’ QFT. This woman was a disaster from day one, and people voted accordingly.

By all means, GOP, make her your front runner. Worked out so well for you last time.

 
 

Sarah, youre the point-guard in my heart
Never change, never stop
And now its gone
It doesnt matter what for
When you build your house
I’ll come by

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

Uh…

Kill me, Sarah, kill me again with love.

 
The Chicago Way
 

Yes, there was something off the table. Now we will attack his wife and kids.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Of course, the answer to what constitutes “hardball” after all that is getting a fruitcake white supremacist “lone wolf” to take a shot at the President.

Similar to how after they couldn’t get Clinton on any goddamn thing they tried, some guy tried flying a plane into the White House.

 
 

Starting just now, huh?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Oh, right, forgot to put my entry in the pool for “what really happened.”

I know it’s prosaic and short odds, but I’m guessing some kind of massive, slipshod corruption that can no longer be covered up.

Though it might be that somebody found her Pleasure Dungeon under the capitol building.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

“Palin is apparently quitting to write Ziggy greeting cards…”

My 2nd big laugh of the day. First was alicublog, Roy’s comments of Doughy Loadpants claim that DICTIONARIES are poltically slanted to the LEFT. His Dad said so, too, in the WSJ no less!

Ahhh, imagine the progeny of Sarah+Jonah.

 
 

Yes, there was something off the table. Now we will attack his wife and kids.

Oh, no one ever doubted that. But who does this harm?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I hear the clock, it’s six a.m.
I feel so far from where I’ve been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don’t leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore’ cause
Dreams last for so long
even after you’re gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.

 
The Chicago Way
 

We will start making jokes about and digging up dirt on Malia and Sasha the way you did about Palins children. Fair is fair.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 
 

But suppose the progeny had his looks and
umm
Let me think about this.

 
 

OMFG.

She was Captain Queeg in that video. All she needed was the clacking steel balls.

To think that this woman was the nominee of a major party to be next in line for the Presidency behind a 72-year-old with a bad heart is just plain frightening.

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Yes, there was something off the table. Now we will attack his wife and kids.

Well, if Mr. Limbaugh wants to add anything else to his table, he’ll have to first slide over all the salami, peanut butter, Oxycontin, marshmallow fluff, and young Dominican boys to make room.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP, TROOFY, YOU GIGANTIC SACK OF DOUCHE-FLAVOURED FAIL.

 
 

You were meant for me

That song makes me laugh like crazy every time I think of it.

 
 

Now we will attack his wife and kids.

Novel idea, but let’s check if there’s a wikipedia on that. Yep!
Today, the Secret Service is authorized by law to protect:

* The president, the vice president, (or other individuals next in order of succession to the Office of the President), the president-elect and vice president-elect.
* The immediate families of the above individuals.

 
 

Fair is fair.
Oh noes! We have messed with the bull and now we will feel the horns!
That probably sounds better when spoken by the Swedish Chef.

 
 

Ahhh, imagine the progeny of Sarah+Jonah.

Wouldn’t they have to… aw damn hell, there goes my libido.

 
The Chicago Way
 

I didn’t mean physically, morons. I meant attack politically. Only leftists like the assassin of Kennedy would stoop so low as to use violence.

 
 

Wait, you meant they’ve already forgotten that they already have repeatedly attacked Michelle Obama? They’re convinced now that they left her ‘off the table’? Really?

O NO! NAW YU WIL REVEEL WHITEY TAPE!!! O NOEZ!!!

 
 

I betcha I’d have more endurance,” she told Runner’s World magazine in an interview published online Tuesday… “What I lacked in physical strength or skill, I made up for in determination and endurance,” she said

Quitter.

Interesting, someone over at The Mudflats (which is back up) says the timing is interesting.

The timing. Hmmm. She says this was planned and discussed.
Todd flew back from Bristol Bay fishing LAST NIGHT. The peak of the season is July 4, with the volume of the run of salmon for the entire season, the first week of July. It’s over by July 15.

So he flew back last night, during a fishing period, an extension today and probably more fishing time expected tomorrow. Numbers show a push of fish, clearly fish are moving……Couldn’t have been planned for Todd to blow off fishing July 2nd.

I missed my grandmother’s funeral because we were out fishing. My dad missed my brother’s birth.

It just doesn’t work that way, it’s a one-shot deal. You’re either there or no season. You can’t make it up some other time. Why would he have bothered to gear-up for fishing, make the investment in being there and preparing for fishing, if he wasn’t going to be there for these few decisive peak days?

He flew home for some kind of a really big huge deal. She says she consulted her kids who unanimously voted in favor of whatever the next adventure is, and she said she’ll discuss the details of this at another time. Hmmm.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Now we will attack his wife and kids.

Maybe by making fun of Michelle’s muscular arms, or saying she got her job through Affirmative action, or what?

 
 

I meant attack politically.

Well, that’s worked out well for you so far. The GOP has record numbers of voters identifying as part of their flock!

I didn’t say what kind of record, of course…

 
 

C’MON! RELEASE CHIANG! SHOW DA WHITEY TAPE!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

We will start making jokes about and digging up dirt on Malia and Sasha the way you did about Palins children

JOKES?? Not jokes!!!! Oh, nooooo!

What kind of dirt are you going to dig up on an eleven-year-old, dumbass? That she let Bobby Jones cheat off her test? Fuck off.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I meant attack politically.

Oh so scary!

What offices are they running for, again?

 
 

I’m sure attacking Sasha and Malia will go far in winning more American voters to the Republican Party.

You’re going to “dig up dirt” on a seven year old? What are we going to hear, that she colors outside the lines?

 
 

Just so long as she doesn’t go all Dan White on us. Because then she might take it all back on Monday, retracting her resignation, railing against those who are so mean as to say “Nuh-uh”, and swearing to continue doing the job the great Alaskan people hired her to do. And if she follows that script, there will be blood.

I am beginning to enjoy this less. I’ll get the funny back, I’m sure, as long as it’s something like high crimes and misdemeanors, malfeasance, perjury, or anything of that sort. If the chilluns are in trouble, I am not gonna microwave the popcorn. Or if, having already microwaved it, I find out something sad about an innocent, I will not enjoy the popcorn, buttery flavored as it may be.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

I didn’t mean physically, morons. I meant attack politically. Only leftists like the assassin of Kennedy would stoop so low as to use violence.

We really weren’t confused about that, actually.

Whoever killed Kennedy was probably right-wing anyway.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

JOKES?? Not jokes!!!! Oh, nooooo!

Well, to be fair, I do run screaming from nearly all conservatives’ attempts at humor, so maybe troofus the doofus is on to something.

Other than his own brown thumb.

 
 

She (We gave her most of our laughs)
Is leaving (Sacrificed most of our laughs)
Nome (We gave her all the laughs money could buy)
She’s leaving Nome and her governor’s throne
After many months… Bye, bye

 
 

We don’t gain anything by getting the GOP to go after / insult blacks or Latinos, ’cause they’ve already pissed away any of their votes, and the Sotomayor (ha she’d dumb affirmative action b*tch) even helped piss off even more women.

We need to get them to go after other demographic groups. Insult the Irish, or Koreans or something. Or Mid-Westerners. Something. They’re dumb enough and crazy enough to fall for it, so, encourage away.

 
Shithouse Troll
 

What kind of dirt are you going to dig up on an eleven-year-old, dumbass? That she let Bobby Jones cheat off her test? Fuck off.

Just you wait until next week, when Drudge publishes an expose about how Sasha was wearing her “Tuesday” panties on Friday.

 
 

Only leftists like the assassin of Kennedy would stoop so low as to use violence.

Tell that to the Unitarians, the Holocaust Museum, or Oklahoma City.

 
 

Aw, Righteous Bubba, that’s more beautiful than Say-ruh deserves.

 
 

Dammit! BEGONE, Shithouse Troll!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

And the guys who killed MLK, Medgar Evers and those three civil rights boys were… what wing again?

 
 

In six months, she’ll be a sparring partner for O’Really and regular columnist at Big Hollywood.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Insult the Irish

I’m still waiting for them to make a comment about Belfast to the tone-deaf tune they applied to Sunni/Shia Muslims.

That’ll get ’em hoping.

 
 

WE DON’T WANT THE IRISH.

 
 

Now we will attack his wife and kids.

Yes! Do it!

And see what a beautiful opportunity you create for Obama to once again demonstrate his class and aplomb.

Palin, on the other hand, obviously has too thin a skin for this game. Goodbye and good luck, crybaby.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

ZOMG. Why do wingnuts only care about rape when they use it metaphorically to discuss the “persecution” of their own?

Erick Erickson via Twitter: “I think the left and MSM will now be embldned 2 serially gang rape conservative politicians, particularly female ones and their families.”

 
 

I’m pretty sure (after watching the tape) that her crack dealer cut her off and was so iritated by her that he threatened to expose her unless she left office. That little announcement of hers had all the traits of someone addressing a crowd of interdimensional reptilians whilst bugs were crawling out of her skin. Someone should’ve given her a last hit off the pipe before she walked up there….

 
The Chicago Way
 

Well, you attacked Palins children (inclusing Trigan an infant).

We will find somethin on them, especially when they are a bit older. Just wait. It will get dirty, libs.

 
 

Umm, not being expert or anything, but am I the only one who while listening to that got the feeling of someone who was high on some sort of “upper” or something? Is this how she really speaks

No, the weird basketball story was also a give away she was high. I’ve listened to it 3 times, and I still don’t understand it. I have heard more coherent sentences from pot smokers on a 24 hr bender.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

There once was a guv named Palin,
Againt the system she was railin’
But it did her no good
For no one understood,
Her rhetoric was epically failin’

 
 

There’s definitely something big coming down on her. Watch the first 1:10 of the clip again. She references “blah blah blah great administration, handing it over to Lt. Guv so it can continue uninterrupted” and “instead of hitting our head against the wall and let millions of your dollars go down the drain in this new political environment.”

Sorry it’s not an exact quote; I can’t even transcribe anything that disjointed and nonsensical. But she seems to be alluding to some entanglement she knows is coming.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

No, the weird basketball story was also a give away she was high.

You gotta keep your eye on the basket, so that you know when to pass.
Keep your eye on the ball – because Palin knows when it’s time to pass the ball – for VICTORY!!!!

WTF? Sure she wears glasses, but I didn’t think she could focus them four eyes on different things like chameleons do.

 
 

 
 

’m pretty sure (after watching the tape) that her crack dealer cut her off and was so iritated by her that he threatened to expose her unless she left office.

Someone over at The Mudflats is speculating there’s a tie-in with the drug charges against Levi’s mom – maybe with Bristol’s cell phone being used in a deal.

 
 

We will start making jokes about and digging up dirt on Malia and Sasha the way you did about Palins children. Fair is fair.

AROO! AROO! MUST CREDIT TROOFIE!!!
Sources at Siddons Friends report that Malia called a classmate a “doodie head” and accused him of having cooties.

Developing…

 
The Truthful Problem With Barbie Dolls
 

Pssst… Chicago/Mr GOP/The Truth… I’ve got something on the Obama kids for you. Fresh from the African Press International wires. Apparently, they were born in Kenya

And do you know what’s worse? Their father is a black man

A black man … WHO IS YOUR PRESIDENT.

Ahahaha…! Suck it down, Truthie you violent, hypocritical freak show. Today the good guys won another round.

 
 

I didn’t mean physically, morons. I meant attack politically.

This can only mean that they’re going to expose Sasha’s background as a senior cadre in the Shining Path.

 
 

According to the Anchorage Daily News, she told Parnell on Wednesday night she was going to resign.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

To all them folks saying this is a great first step towards 2012 (i.e. Bill Kristol):
2008 – BHO and JiSM3 – both sitting senators
2004 – W and Kerry – incumbent and sitting senator
2000 – W and algore – incumbent VP and sitting govenor
1996 – Clinton and Dole – incumbent and sitting senator
1992 – Clinton and Bush 1 – incumbent and sitting govenor
1988 – Bush 1 and Dukakis – incumbent VP and whatever the fuck Dukakis was.

When’s Lisa Murkowski up for re-election?

 
 

We will find somethin on them, especially when they are a bit older. Just wait. It will get dirty, libs.

We’re scared to death.

No, really. Terrified.

 
 

And the inevitable happens…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT_OwLS6Uew

Play her off… meh, you know the rest.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Invisible Pink Unicorn help me. I have a deep dark secret that brings me great shame. I kinda find Dana Perino hot.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

We will find somethin on them, especially when they are a bit older.

Like, in eight years or so, when it can really damage Obama’s presidency.

 
 

If Palin wants to run in 2012, why not do exactly what she announced today? It’s an enormous gamble – but it could be a shrewd one.

Yeah, that tactic worked so well for Bob Dole.

(Now I’ll go back and read the thread to see if someone beat me to that wisecrack.)

 
 

Invisible Pink Unicorn help me.

Dana Perino’s muse speaks:

If Sarah Palin was trying to make news today, she had odd timing. At a time when Farah Fawcett and Ed McMahon’s deaths paled — almost as much as another recently departed celebrity’s skin — into insignificance, perhaps she hoped her resignation on a holiday Friday would pass unnoticed.

 
 

Like, in eight years or so, when it can really damage Obama’s presidency.
You forget the damage it could do to those future presidencies of the much-anticipated Obama dynasty.

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

I kinda find Dana Perino hot.

It’s all Botox and spackled makeup and pure evil. Don’t fall for it.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

…the much-anticipated Obama dynasty.

I’m not much for supporting stuff just to piss off the wingers – but President Michelle “check out those arms” Obama would be such a wingnut outrage singularity that I can’t not back it 110%.

 
 

Then, @ 4:25 in, she pulls the “anyone who ridicules/criticizes/questions stuff I have done hates the troops” card. Though because she’s Sarah Palin, you have to untangle the verbal tangle to get to it.

The common subtext through the whole thing is the martyr role she casts for herself, which has been her go-to mode all along – she’s doing this because the political climate is so nasty so she has to do what’s best for Alaska. As if photoshops of Trigg as Batboy somehow have caused material damage to Alaska or Alaskans. Very evasive overall, and of course, we have a lot of experience with how she responds when she’s lying or trying to avoid telling the whole story. It’s pretty clear that stepping down is not something she wanted to do. Something big is brewing.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

You forget the damage it could do to those future presidencies of the much-anticipated Obama dynasty.

You’re right, I did forget that. This is why I’m not a political strategist, although I could still kick the shit out of that guy Hillary used.

 
 

My Christ, but Republicans know how to cry. If it isn’t Sanford blubbering, or Palin retreating like a warblogger from a military recruiter, it’s countless other wingnuts threatening to secede or simply run away from home (aka, “Going Galt”). What a bunch of quitting, whining, caterwauling fucking jellyfish.

Seriously, did we actually just spend 8 years feeling intimidated by these invertebrates?

 
 

Note well soon-to-be-ex Gov. Palin’s offers of support to politicians, blah, “of either party or no party,” & the litmus test followed by a bloodbath (from tigrismus @23:23):

Jim Nuzzo, a White House aide to the first President Bush, dismissed Mrs Palin’s critics as “cocktail party conservatives” who “give aid and comfort to the enemy”.

He told The Sunday Telegraph: “There’s going to be a bloodbath. A lot of people are going to be excommunicated. David Brooks and David Frum and Peggy Noonan are dead people in the Republican Party. The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?”

& Prof.Corncob’s link to someone suggesting Sarah wants to be leader of the “Tea Party,” I’m starting to think that if some really awful revelation is about to be made (so awful it calls for a pre-emptive resignation) Palin’s trying to spin it into some sort of split in the Republican party, where she & the Joe the Douchebag, “going from the gut” crowd can indeed split from the effete, inna-leckshul cocktail party crowd of Eastern elitists.

Or, she could simply have decided to quit because she knew she wouldn’t be able to split the Goofy Old Party (Remember all the crap about the Photoshop that used Trig’s body. She started it, as we say. Stupid move to call more attention to oneself if shit is near the fan. Unless she was setting herself up as a victim of the media as soon as she heard about the shoe that may be about to drop.) from Alaska, & flying all over hell & leaving the state to pole-dance in her running outfits at fund-raising events would drop her Alaska poll numbers, so she & Kristol decided to make their power grab now.

Conservative Civil War, as mentioned above.

 
 

Dragon:

I’m not much for supporting stuff just to piss off the wingers – but President Michelle “check out those arms” Obama would be such a wingnut outrage singularity that I can’t not back it 110%.

At Balloon Juice, it’s the “wingularity.”

And I am probably outside the majority on this, but I actually “enjoyed” the troll showing up for this thread. It made for some comedy gold.

Troofie/Chicago Way’s insanity is almost like a straight man in a comedy routine.

 
 

More information on “grassroots” supporters gathering across the nation to support Sarah Palin for President in 2012 can be found online at http://www.palin4pres2012.com

Note, the website is in danger of crashing due to the flood of readers and supporters signing up to show their interest in a Palin Candidacy. The GOP establishment had better watch out, Sarah Palin and Ron Paul combined with the power of the internet will remove the stranglehold of GOP special interests and the elites who have brought the party to its knees in defeat in the 2008 elections.

 
The Chicago Way
 

Reagan wasn’t holding any office when he ran for President.

 
 

Yes, the Wingularity is almost upon us.

Their anthem is “Yakety Sax.”

 
 

Thanks Ron!

“Sarah Palin is the next Ronald Reagan.” — Richard Viguerie

Her brain’s a lump of mush already!

 
 

A Message from Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

retreating like a warblogger from a military recruiter

Good one!

 
 

Yeah, Ron Paul was quite the powerhouse in 2008.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

It’s all Botox and spackled makeup and pure evil. Don’t fall for it.

Don’t worry too much about me. I find all sorts of stuff hot – and some of it has the risk of botulism toxins too (mmmm rotted meat).

 
 

Reagan wasn’t holding any office when he ran for President.

The difference is that Reagan could form a sentence.

 
 

The text of Palin’s speech (from the official Alaska state website) includes the following (it’s a verbatim quote):

In the words of General MacArthur said, “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”

There’s no record of MacArthur saying that (although he might have, on some occasion, I guess). But USMC Gen. Oliver P. Smith, during the fighting around the Chosin reservoir in North Korea, famously said “Retreat, hell. We’re just attacking in a different direction.”

Jarheads generally dislike MacArthur (for some reason). It should be interesting to see if any of the 101st Chairborne mention this mangling of US military history.

 
 

Seriously, she’s either totally mentally unbalanced or the dumbest hunk of protein in the world. Why someone, anyone, didn’t just wrestle that mic away from her after two minutes of her panting blather is beyond me and someone should have done it not to shit her up but to save herself, once again.

I bet all the republicans are so proud of their loser/quitter now. She’s the perfect republican candidate for president. palin is possibly the only person in republican politics less qualified than the last moron they put into the office. And that, my friends, is saying something.

 
The Chicago Way
 

Ken, I remember when lins laughed at Reagan.

They sure weren’t laughing on election night 1980 and 1984.

I will work as hard as I van, and so will every conservative, to ensure there will never again be another November, 2008.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I bet all the republicans are so proud of their loser/quitter now.

Well, here’s another thing we can all bet on – over/under for how long it takes before we hear the first “Sarah who?” from the wingnut side.

 
 

Goddamn, that’s a funny troll.

 
 

Sarah Palin and Ron Paul combined with the power of the internet will remove the stranglehold of GOP special interests and the elites who have brought the party to its knees in defeat in the 2008 elections.

Then they’ll surrender to Alaska…

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Talking Pants Marshall thinks it’s a scandal.
Hilzoy thinks it’s a scandal.
DougJ thinks it’s a scandal.
Faiz Shakir has even picked a scandal for it to be.

Michael Scherer and Bill Kristol think it’s a genius move for 2012.

I think I’m gonna go with scandal.

 
 

They sure weren’t laughing on election night 1980 and 1984.

Maybe that’s because only a total fucking moron would laugh about something that’s going to hurt him and his family.

 
 

I will work as hard as I van, and so will every conservative, to ensure there will never again be another November, 2008.

I think even Kristol could predict that there will never be another November, 2008.

Bookmark it! Libs!

LOL

 
 

Yeah, this is probably because of some looming scandal, but its very odd. It’s strange for a major political player to resign in anticipation of a scandal – usually they only get pried out of office after the scandal has run its course, after their career is wrecked and their supporters alienated. It’s especially strange for someone as narcissistic as Palin, who seems to have an exceptional ability to rationalize away her problems.

I look forward to hearing what’s behind this weird episode.

 
 

Talking Pants Marshall thinks it’s a scandal.
Hilzoy thinks it’s a scandal.
DougJ thinks it’s a scandal.
Faiz Shakir has even picked a scandal for it to be.

She more or less said a shoe was about to drop, if you managed to watch the whole thing and chop your way through the jungle of mangled metaphors and sentence fragments. So yeah, it’s a scandal.

 
 

Reagan wasn’t holding any office when he ran for President.

The difference is that Reagan could form a sentence.

The difference is also that Reagan was a loyal party man who, even though he was always pushed to the back by the moderates, built alliances and supported the party and never back-stabbed anyone in the party – hence his famous “Eleventh Commandment” quip. When it was his “turn” he was justly rewarded.

Caribou Barbie has been burning her bridges throughout her career.

Oh, and Reagan didn’t cry and quit, either.

 
 

to ensure [sic] there will never again be another November, 2008.

Troofie’s hard work pays off. I just checked my calendar.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I look forward to hearing what’s behind this weird episode.

Me too – the preemptive quit is very weird, maybe it means she’s about to fuck off out of the country.

 
 

“Ron” @3:22 is central to my point @3:17.

 
 

Hey, wouldn’t it be something if the scandal was that Willow is, in fact, pregnant? After Palin and Todd spent over a week feuding with Letterman in umbrage over the invented slander to their 14-year old daughter?

 
 

Palin, the leading tea-bagger in America?

Run SARAH! RUN!!!

 
Truculent and Unreliable
 

Don’t worry too much about me. I find all sorts of stuff hot – and some of it has the risk of botulism toxins too (mmmm rotted meat).

Your immune system must be made of stone.

Speaking of botulism toxins and rotting meat, has anyone checked out Atlas Shrugs yet? I’ll bet it’s fucking brilliant, but there is no way in hell I am going to head over to that shithole.

 
 

Wonder how John Ziegler is taking this?

 
The Very Renerend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Shit! Troofus is back? No, no, no, fuckstain, first you acknowledge that that “Million Mogadishus” quote you attributed to Michael Moore yesterday was from then-Columbia-University-Assistant-Professor Nicholas De Genova. Until then, you don’t to tell any more fresh lies. One big stinking pile of shit at a time, Bucko!

 
 

My Christ, but Republicans know how to cry.

They do seem a blubbery bunch, no?

 
 

As is A. W/ Signposts @3:35.

 
 

maybe it means she’s about to fuck off out of the country.

Well, she should have just gone on the lam from Kosovo. Why’d she come back?

 
 

As if they couldn’t be less reality based, Erick the Red compares Sarahcuda to Obi-Wan Kenobi!:

4. I’ve had this running thought all day, perhaps because I was watching it on TV in HD for the first time, that this is kind of like Ben Kenobi letting Darth Vader strike him down. Palin is not going to run in 2012, but by doing this she can now become Barack Obama’s worst nightmare, and help rebuild the opposition to Obama. How? Because were she to remain a 2012 contender, she’d keep having stories by anonymous McCain campaign staffers and other 2012 contenders going after her and her family. Take that ambition off the table and it neutralizes a lot of that. So she can focus on candidates and ideas without an ulterior motive focused on 2012.

 
IVAN THE CONSERVATIVE
 

I will work as hard as Ivan, and so will every conservative…IN RUSSIA, COUNTRY WRECKS THE CONSERVATIVES BWAHAHA,

but seriously, funniest troll evar…

 
 

Sarah Palin and Ron Paul combined with the power of the internet

Oh, laugh all you want, but they have BLIMPS, bitchez.

BLIMPS!!!1!!

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Well, she should have just gone on the lam from Kosovo. Why’d she come back?

I’m thinking because whatever spurred this press conference was something that came up very soon before it.

 
 

So she can focus on candidates and ideas without an ulterior motive focused on 2012.

Because, again, she’s proven herself such a savvy operator in the past. Behold the way she nimbly worked through interviews! Marvel at her ability to form a coherent sentence, and sustain a thought!

What is it about her that makes her family so special? Politicians get their families slandered all the time — I’m thinking of McCain and his “love child.” Why is it such a weakness for Palin?

Is it because she’s a poor widdle wady and poor widdle wadies need defending…?

 
 

Conservative Civil War…

Which side gets dibs on those snazzy Confederate uniforms?

 
 

Wonder how John Ziegler is taking this?

I think he pulled up to the press conference but left when there weren’t enough people.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 

It seems obvious that she didn’t fall, she was pushed. By her own party.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

What’s Troofy’s problem with November 2008? I thought it was when the results from Virginia and North Carolina came in, and they were declared for McCain. We were disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” was our comment. Florida went red, and a little nervousness crept in. The usual suspects fell into the usual categories. As the night dragged on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to our horror) Pennsylvania were too close to call.
We woke up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout was on.
That sounds like a situation you’d ENJOY, Troofy. What happened?

 
 

that this is kind of like Ben Kenobi letting Darth Vader strike him down.

Red State == “These are not the dorks you’re looking for.”

 
 

Palin and Palin family quotes for posterity and t-shirts.

“It would be apathetic to just hunker down and go with the flow. We’re fishermen, We know that only dead fish go with the flow.” S. Palin

“A good point guard knows exactly when to pass the ball, so that the team can win. And that is what I’m doing.” S. Palin

“There’s no way she could effectively govern when she was spending so much time defending herself.” S. Palin’s brother, Chuck Heath.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

… if you managed to watch the whole thing and chop your way through the jungle of mangled metaphors and sentence fragments.

Umm, no I didn’t. I blame MTV.

Seriously though, you managed to watch the whole thing, and even decipher some of it? Kudos, despite my botulism-loving rotting-meat-eating tendencies – you have greater intestinal fortitude than I.

 
 

“Hey, does that 17 year old Daughter of the pro-family values, anti-sex education, pro-christian, moral majority Vice Presidential Candidate look 7 months pregnant to you, too?” apparently equals slimy political attacks.

It wasn’t iceberg’s fault that the Titanic sunk, spanky.

Citizen, I will vote for any candidate who builds and uses a campaign airship.

 
 

to ensure there will never again be another November, 2008.

prediction, like the one I made here last year:

“Bookmark this, libs!”

 
 

When’s Lisa Murkowski up for re-election?

2010. Watch that Republican Senate primary.

 
The Chicago Way
 

I am NOT “The Truth/Authentic”.

He was even on yesterday and tols you he hadn’t been on here for months. I’m someone else. I’m not a “sockpuppet”.

 
 

Seriously, though. This was the Great White (and I do mean White) Hope of the Republican Party? This was the reborn Iron Lady who was going to knock Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Il into a corner, Christianize Iran and North Korea and cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to surpass 50K all in her second day as POTUS?

The Barracuda appears to be a guppy.

How can we expect wingnut politicians to face down Russia and China when they’re scared shitless by the left-wing blogosphere?

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Hey, guys, if Troofie said something, it must be true! We owe the Great Chicago Flamer an apology. Thank GOD he so closely follows what other trolls say. You know, like real people do.

 
 

And I am most assuredly NOT any of the 60 or so nyms I have used on this site since 2005.

 
 

Sarah Palin and Ron Paul combined with the power of the internet will remove the stranglehold of GOP special interests and the elites

Tail desperately seeking dog, with objective of wagging.

 
 

Shorter The Chicago Way:

“These are not the trolls you are looking for.”

 
 

I guess she got tired of being a target. Can’t blame her for that.

 
 

Oh, just watched the video again, and see she got in a little dig:

I don’t want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL “climate change” that began in August.

Hah hah. Not that fake climate change stuff those science guys are talking about! REAL climate change had to do with her entering national politics.

And who says human beings don’t affect the climate.

 
 

I guess she got tired of being a target. Can’t blame her for that.

If you don’t go around with a “kick me” sign taped to your back, or wearing a sweater with a big target on it, or starting feuds with David Letterman, you can pretty much avoid most of that stuff.

She’s stepping down because she has to.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

“I don’t want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL ‘climate change’ that began in August.”
This sentiment is so narcissistic it makes me briefly wonder if Palin is Troofie.

 
 

The GOP shouldn’t fret too much. There’s still time to draft a Feldman/Haim ticket for 2012.

 
The Truthful Problem With Trying To Be Clever
 

I am NOT “The Truth/Authentic”.

He was even on yesterday and tols you he hadn’t been on here for months. I’m someone else. I’m not a “sockpuppet”.

Except of course, “The Chicago Way” is an entirely new name today; so logically if you were posting yesterday, today’s name has to be a sockpuppet of some kind.

And of course, no one in this thread linked those two names together. They linked “The Truth” and “Mr GOP” and someone did a single parody of “The Authentic”. Funny how you seem to have linked them today though, isn’t it?

Seriously Troofie… You genuinely aren’t that smart, and people here really, truly are; You can occasionally stay sane long enough to at least be consistent, but you never rise above the level of immature “nah nah you can’t see the real me!” debate you’d get on the Nickelodeon boards… but we smart people spot the little nervous ticks and obsessions that give away the same old lunatic fringe again and again.

Just recently, you’ve been compelled to use variations on Obama/Chicago/Corruption in all your posts and names, presumably because you heard Rush mention it. And none of it matters. Because…

BARACK OBAMA IS YOUR PRESIDENT

And Sarah Palin has gone from “Gosh darn it down home heroine destined to give us 4 years of pure liberal-annoying joy” to “She’ll never hold elected office again, and I’m so drunk and inconsolable I can’t even type 3 letter words correctly anymore!”

Ahahaha.

Care to give us a guess as to what scandal it will turn out to be? Go on Troofus… give us something to bookmark again 🙂

 
 

Max Blumenthal has got yer scandal right here, posted less than three hours ago at the Daily Beast:

Did a Scandal Sink the U.S.S. Palin?

CNN and other major news outlets have reported that Sarah Palin has abruptly resigned as governor of Alaska. The suddenness of her announcement raises the question about whether Palin resigned to avert a major scandal. One logical place to start looking is the affair that has Alaska political circles buzzing: an alleged scandal centered around a building contractor, Spenard Building Supplies, with close ties to Palin and her husband, Todd.

Many political observers in Alaska are fixated on rumors that federal investigators have been seizing paperwork from SBS in recent months, searching for evidence that Palin and her husband Todd steered lucrative contracts to the well-connected company in exchange for gifts like the construction of their home on pristine Lake Lucille in 2002. The home was built just two months before Palin began campaigning for governor, a job which would have provided her enhanced power to grant building contracts in the wide-open state.

SBS has close ties to the Palins. The company has not only sponsored Todd Palin’s snowmobile team, according to the Village Voice’s Wayne Barrett, it hired Sarah Palin to do a statewide television commercial in 2004.

Though Todd Palin told Fox News he built his Lake Lucille home with the help of a few “buddies,” according to Barrett’s report, public records revealed that SBS supplied the materials for the house. While serving as mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin blocked an initiative that would have required the public filing of building permits—thus momentarily preventing the revelation of such suspicious information.

Just months before Palin left city hall to campaign for governor, she awarded a contract to SBS to help build the $13 million Wasilla Sports Complex. The most expensive building project in Wasilla history, the complex cost the city an additional $1.3 million in legal fees and threw it into severe long-term debt. For SBS, however, the bloated and bungled project was a cash cow.

Whether the alleged federal investigation into the Palins and SBS prompted her resignation could not be confirmed. But prior to her sudden announcement, Palin gave every indication that she intended to complete her tenure as governor.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Which side gets dibs on those snazzy Confederate uniforms?

Both. That’s part of the fun.

 
 

Just think of how good Governor Palin’s speech would have been if she’d used a teleprompter. Oh well.

 
 

I am NOT “The Truth/Authentic”.

Agreed. You’re not anywhere near the truth and you’re far from authentic.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

This needed more praise:

Tehanu:
Yes. Except that any “ruining” was through her slimeball country, snowbilly tactics.

Snowbilly. Awesome.

 
The Chicago Way
 

There is no scandal. Noneam Just blog bullshit.

This is simply a loving mother sacrificing her career to defend her children from lib attcks.

 
 

Which side gets dibs on those snazzy Confederate uniforms?

Are these the ones from Neiman-Marcus that cost $150000?

 
 

…has anyone checked out Atlas Shrugs yet? I’ll bet it’s fucking brilliant, but there is no way in hell I am going to head over to that shithole.

It is indeed high quality wingnutitude:

My take? If Palin is anything like I think she is (know she is), Obama’s treasonous presidency is responsible for this. She, like all patriotic Americans, is shocked by what is happening. Obama is destroying this country. She knows it. We all know it. We need a leader. She is answering our call.

She did not quit. She is going to get into the fight to save America. Watch what happens.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

“Noneam Just blog bullshit.”
Wow, Troofie started typing with his forehead early this time. Tell us, Troofie, whom among us is a faggot? We’re waiting with bated breath. Masterfully bated.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Nom de plume:

My Christ, but Republicans know how to cry. If it isn’t Sanford blubbering, or Palin retreating like a warblogger from a military recruiter, it’s countless other wingnuts threatening to secede or simply run away from home (aka, “Going Galt”). What a bunch of quitting, whining, caterwauling fucking jellyfish.

Seriously, did we actually just spend 8 years feeling intimidated by these invertebrates?

Spectacular.

 
The Chicago Wank
 

The only children whose welfare I care about are those of a woman I desire a pity-fuck from. Not right now, though, since I came at the thought of going after Barack Obama’s children.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

She is going to get into the fight to save America. Watch what happens.

I think she’s telling us libs to bookmark that.

 
 

Oops, my link to Pammycakes is bad. Try this.

If you dare.

 
 

Huff Po: The head of the Republican Governor’s Association said on Friday that in emails sent to him moments before she announced her resignation as governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin discussed expanding the role she played in the Republican Party.

“Part of her decision is she wants to spend more time campaigning for candidates,” Nick Ayers, the executive director of the RGA, told Fox News.

She’s going to exploit her popularity as a way to keep out of the media?

 
 

She is going to get into the fight to save America. Watch what happens.

Apparently the intellectual marketplace contains an yawning, unfilled gap for “Calls to violent revolution !!1! (since peaceful politics has led to the election of the wrong president)”.

 
 

The speech was given — not merely on a Friday — but on the first day of a three day holiday weekend during which we have Wimbledon, the start of the Tour de France, and, in a couple days, Jacko’s funeral.

Ypu people simply do not understand messaging. Obviously, this is a political masterstroke of the first order. Like a first order equation of messaging.

Also.

 
 

This is simply a loving mother sacrificing her career to defend her children from lib attcks.

By resigning from public office so she can spend more time exploiting her popularity in highly partisan support of political candidates.

C’mon, Troofy. I’m surprised your head doesn’t explode. Even Sarah isn’t saying that she’s sacrificing her career to defend her children. She says it’s to allow her to pursue her politics without the burden of being a public servant.

Although, to be fair, I’m not surprised you didn’t get that from her word-salad of a speech – it’s pretty tough to parse her and you’re not that bright.

 
 

Bobby Jindal, do you have a lobster fetish we should know about?

Yes, and of course butter is involved. Lots of warm, melted, sweet butter.

 
 

I listened to her 6 minute resignation speech, and all I can say is WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT???? Jesus! 6 minutes of incoherent babbling. I AM BECOME SARAH, THE DESTROYER OF WORDS!

 
Sarah Milhous Palin
 

My husband was a saint!

 
Lobster Newberg
 

I did not have sexual relations with that man, Mr. Jindal!

 
 

Pammy: If Palin is anything like I think she is (know she is), Obama’s treasonous presidency is responsible for this. She, like all patriotic Americans, is shocked by what is happening. Obama is destroying this country. She knows it. We all know it. We need a leader. She is answering our call.

Yeah. That’s why she’s spent virtually all her airtime talking about things like Late-Night Show jokes and Miss California.

Bonus Pammy lunacy:

This is a great speech.

How could anyone watch that train-wreck of a speech and call it great? Even the most fervid sympathizers must have been cringing and worrying about her mental stability.

I mean Palin’s. But I guess that explains it.

 
 

She says it’s to allow her to pursue her politics without the burden of being a public servant.

True nuff. She’s learned from Rush et al that it’s so much easier being a talking head if you don’t ever have to be held accountable for anything.

 
 

Bobby “Craw-Daddy-oh” Jindal.

Mmmm, Butter!

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Just think of how good Governor Palin’s speech would have been if she’d used a teleprompter. Oh well.

Haha. One up the slight upshots about all their bizarre non-scandal scandals, is that they hamstring themselves. Now Republicans can’t use teleprompters, drink orange juice, wear sleeveless tops, check their tire pressure, garden, eat arugula, wear pantsuits or earthtones, ever appear anywhere without a flag pin at any time, sigh, or win medals for valiant combat service in war after volunteering for it.

Ok, that last one is not something they’ll miss, but I look forward to a Republican crashing his car because he had thrown out his tire gauge in order to spite Obama.

 
 

Truly, she was the Pinheads Princess.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

One up the slight upshots about all their bizarre non-scandal scandals, is that they hamstring themselves.

That would be true if they gave a shit, or even remembered, what they said more than fifteen seconds earlier.

 
 

Apparently the intellectual marketplace contains an yawning, unfilled gap for “Calls to violent revolution !!1! (since peaceful politics has led to the election of the wrong president)”.

Peaceful politics often leads to a coherent analysis of public policy and rational decision-making, and that’s exactly the kind of shit that can land you in a world of trouble. America needs someone like Sarah Palin to turn back the tide of sanity.

 
 

Sarah Palin has ingeniously distracted us from the health care reform bill. Please don’t let her destroy our chances to get health care.

We all need health care! Write to these Dem Senators to tell them we want a public option or single-payer health care. The information was gathered from http://www.billpressshow.com/

Here are the culprits who are holding up our root canals and mammograms:-)

It only takes a few minutes, and you will FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTERWARD! Sara Palin is trying to distract us from getting healthcare! Click their namnes to be directed to web communication with each Senator.

If you want a direct link to their email web pages go to http://portlandlivingweird.blogspot.com

Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-AR)

Senator Tom Carper (D-DE)

Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA)

Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR)

Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL)

Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA)

Senator Kent Conrad (D-ND)

Senator Max Baucus (D-MT)

Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

These names are reported by The Hill

http://www.portlandia.etsy.com

 
Nosfer-Blart-Two
 

Dudes, you are all funny-funny, but, until now, the creme de joke hasn’t been heard.
ahem… Sarah Palin believes in Opposite Election.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Her speech gives new meaning to the phrase, “bimbo eruption.”

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Through all the hoo-hah and kerfuffle, I completely forgot to mention my first impression of this whole situation.

To wit,

BWWAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!

Suck it, cons!

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Oops, my link to Pammycakes is bad.
Please don’t blame yourself.

 
 

Uh, doesn’t anyone realize that Mrs. Palin is about to be indicted for accepting bribes? A larger national presence, my ass.

 
 

That is central to our point.

 
The Chicago Way
 

Again, children, she will not be indicted for anything.

Perhaps it would behoove you to get your information from other sources besides the Huffington Post and MSNBC, libs.

 
 

She’s going to “make a difference for..our priorities…and so we will…for Alaskans….AND for Americans!”

I think this means she’s gearing up to be the AIP candidate for first president of an independent Alaska.

I like the way she gleefully talks about “not banging our head against the wall” in such a way that it sounds like she’s been banging her own head against a wall for the last few days. Whatever, lady. Will you please go away now?

 
The Chicago Way
 

Want to bookmark something?

Bookmark this: there will be no Palin scandal or “other shoe” dropping.

 
 

“The world needs more Trigs, not fewer.”

Translation: “if the median intelligence level of the U.S. was a lot lower, I’d have a better chance at the White House!”

 
 

Bookmark this: there will be no Palin scandal or “other shoe” dropping.

snicker.

 
 

Bookmark this: there will be no Palin scandal or “other shoe” dropping.

So she will now disappear into obscurity and America will no longer have to put up with her inane jabbering? Excellent.

 
 

I’m surprised she hasn’t shaved her head and started beating on journalists’ cars with an umbrella.

 
 

Bookmark this: there will be no Palin scandal or “other shoe” dropping.

In that case, her resignation makes her look even dumber.

 
 

“The world needs more Trigs, not fewer.”

Translation: “if the median intelligence level of the U.S. was a lot lower, I’d have a better chance at the White House!”

Hey, that’s not fair. From what i can tell, Trig is the smartest member of the family. His IQ is way beyond his mother’s, at any rate (or grandmother, as the case may be).

 
 

Hey, that’s not fair. From what i can tell, Trig is the smartest member of the family. His IQ is way beyond his mother’s, at any rate (or grandmother, as the case may be).

Let us not forget, we are grading on a curve here.

 
The Truthful Problem With Libs
 

This is simply a loving mother sacrificing her career to defend her children from lib attcks.

‘My problem with Libs is that I can’t stop calling them “libs”, even in the next comment after I denied I’m The Truth/The Authentic, you know, the only idiot here who ever used that contraction here.’

Want to bookmark something?

Bookmark this: there will be no Palin scandal or “other shoe” dropping.

Oh, I don’t need to actually bookmark it; You aren’t important enough or enraging enough to keep any record of you in my daily life. But you really don’t have a clue how the real world works, do you? Do you even know what a “Google Bomb” is? You just help me tie your own words here into the phrase “bookmark this”, so now when I do a quick google search for “Sadly No Bookmark This” it’ll most likely find both the above, and this classic;

It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

Thus it took me about 1 minute then to write this entire post. And after helping me to have a quick laugh at you, I can now go on the rest of my fruitful day with an added spring in my step.

But you know, for the 1 minute I spend here thinking about you, I really feel sorry for your wasted life. It must be terrible to spend your entire life crippled by hate for a world you don’t understand, and you must shake every day as you realize you really don’t know anything about anything at all. See the above quote? You said that. You believed that. And you were wrong, wrong, wrong. And in a few days, maybe a few weeks at most, someone Sarah Palin has screwed over in that traditional Republican way will take their revenge, leak The Truth (ahahaha) and you’ll be reduced to an incoherent wreck once more as all you sacred cows implode in your face, and those “libs” you hate so much will be proven right again.

But then I remember how much you lie and hate and harass and curse and… I don’t really give a shit. So “Hahahaha” to you, wait for that other shoe Truthy, and now fuck off. I’ve got fun things to do in my life, so see ya. And here’s a Palin wink just for yoooou! 😉

 
Trisomy 2 Electric Boogaloo
 

All of them Kaite, all of them.

 
 

She says it’s to allow her to pursue her politics without the burden of being a public servant.

Brilliant

 
 

Tail desperately seeking dog, with objective of wagging.

Nobody’s buying it, Smut. We all know your ad would read: “Wag desperately seeking tail.”

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Except of course, “The Chicago Way” is an entirely new name today; so logically if you were posting yesterday, today’s name has to be a sockpuppet of some kind.

Well, good, someone already addressed this point, lins. Seriously, when you only appear in one thread, and then mention another thread you weren’t “there” for, you’re not doing your argument that your not a sockpuppet favors.

 
 

Oh Sweet Jesus. From the Atlas Juggs comment board:

BTW, my dream ticket for 2012 would be: Sarah Palin/Pam Geller. One christian, one jewish. Both women with a big set of cajonies!! 🙂

Can you imagine what the stump speeches from that duo would be like? Or what Pammycakes would be like once she gets her mitts on a couple ounces of that Wasilla-grade meth? Those two narcissists & dimwits would indeed be the ne plus ultra of the descent anti-intellectual, know-nothing wing of the formerly staid & sober GOP “We’re the Grown-up party” brand…

Then again, who cares. Nobody on the right wing would really pay attention to the words coming out of their mouths, fixating instead on the bouncing boobs. Seriously, maybe we should just use magic markers to draw red circles on pink balloons and run them for RNC chairman. It’d draw off enough of The St00pid vote so the party would fracture off the toxic wingnuts.

 
 

Again, children, she will not be indicted for anything.

And how exactly do you know this, Papa?

 
 

I just watched her resignation speech, and she’s lying. She’s incredibly uncomfortable about something, and her jabbering, while typical, is particularly pressured here. I think something bad is coming down the pike for her and she’s making an alibi before the fact.

 
 

Milking Trig for all the sympathy and political points he is worth. Poor kid. Poor kids, actually.

“Not a normal person” is a vast VAST understatement.

 
 

It saddens me to watch someone throw away a promising career due to mental illness.

We’re here for you, Sarah.

 
 

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