Wow, I didn’t think anyone, much less the Pulitzer committee would make a pass at Surber.

What?

I have high readings on my liver enzymes (probably due to the statins I take, but I digress), and I’ve been warned constantly to limit my use of Tylenol as much as possible because it wreaks havoc with my liver.

Ol’ Donbo apparently has the same issue but rather than admit the (alcoholicfuckingdrunkredneck) root problem he’s having he (stupidnigraintehWhiteHouse) is pointing the finger elsewhere as a crutch for his (dumbbohunkdrunk) internalized anger at his mother (sister/wife/girlfriend).

Imagine if they took away his Viagra…

FDA’s Acetaminophen Hepatotoxicity Working Group

Speaking as one who works for the FDA’s Bourbon Hepatotoxicity Working Group, those guys are, well, a little funny, if you know what I mean.

We are, in fact, greatly looking forward to taking a piss on Don Surber.

Americans for Liver Damage would be a great conservative PAC.

Don’t care. I use Advil and whiskey.

Love the T-shirt, though I wish he was standing in front of the outhouse.

You know why.

…we’re not too busy eating moonpies and swilling RC Cola… NRBQ forever!

As I have been banned and purged from Don’s site, I will make my comment here. But do go read the comments over there. Theys got the vapors!

Also, Tintin, you missed another FAIL. The panel voted to “prescriptionize” only the 1000 mg Tylenol.

That dang Obama! How he got the FDA to make those recommendations in 2008 just so he could spring it on us now that he’s President is beyond me. He must have a time machine.

Also, would someone help me find the part about 200 deaths in that Fox link? I looked and looked but couldn’t find it anywhere. Maybe it’s in that invisible text that only Don Surber can read.

Also, in reading the FDA report, I don’t see where they recommend putting acetominophen under prescription control. Oh, that was the safety panel which proposed putting only the 1000 mg product under prescription control and also decided NOT to remove any of those other drugs from the OTC list.

Also, the FDA isn’t required to implement the proposals. They are only recommendations. Made by career people, not political appointees. So there’s that.

How Obama manages to find the time to personally meddle with every panel, committee and task force in the entire US government is truly amazing to me. Only slightly less amazing than the propensity of Don and the rest of you to get all outraged over things that are just not true.

I must confess, I myself have an urge to piss on Surber.

piss on Surber

We ought to change his first name legally to Pisson.

We are, in fact, greatly looking forward to taking a piss on Don Surbeer.
I must confess, I myself have an urge to piss on Surbeer.

Now what’s up with this Surbeer golden shower fetish? And as far as the spelling goes, any viewer of vintage NY Cable late-night ads would know what the extra “E” is for…

But do go read the comments over there. Theys got the vapors!

Oh, to get these people’s names for when they show up at the hospital for their liver transplants. “Well, you see, sir, we warned you about hepatotoxicity, but you just thought it was a liberal Big Gummint plot… sorry, but ‘personal responsibility’, y’know!”

Apparently 1) acetaminophen is the NUMBER ONE cause of liver failure in the US(according to today’s Boston Globe) and 2) they’re considering multiple options, NONE OF WHICH is making all acetaminophen-containing products prescription. Big-ass warning labels are the most probable outcome, and reducing or removing acetaminophen from multi-symptom cold remedies is also a possibility, as much of the problem(also per BG) seems to come from mixing meds: people don’t see that the cold syrup they’re taking has acetaminophen in it already, so they double up.

My favorite Surber post was when he endorsed me for Supreme Court, saying that the Court needed a little less of them high-fallutin’ Ivy League-types.

Poor Don! What’s next? Obami’s gonna regulate his barbecue!

In Europe, they put n-acetyl cysteine (the antidote to acetaminophen poisoning as well as a general protectant against liver damage) in the pills themselves, so you can’t blow out your liver even if you take a whole bottle.

I wonder why that wasn’t even considered here?

Oh yeah, this is America. We just slap a bigger warning label on shit instead of making it safer.

We don’t want no damn gub’mint byoo’crat gettin between us and our liver!

Okay B⁴, how about a clue for those of us who have never had the joy of staring at NY late-night teevee?

We don’t want no damn gub’mint byoo’crat gettin between us and our liver!

Or between us and our poison!

They’ll get mah Tylenol when they pry it from mah yellow, jaundiced hands!

Okay B?, how about a clue for those of us who have never had the joy of staring at NY late-night teevee?

HOLY SHIT MOAT !!!!!

I was going to ask, in smartass fashion, “Are you feeling lucky?” Then I gazoogled it, feeling all lucky and shit, and now I am scared.

Now we know what added ingredient gives the shit moat is consistency.

Poor Don! What’s next? Obami’s gonna regulate his barbecue!

No, Obama will save the barbecue regulatin’ for Confederate Yankee.

Holy crap, B4 is right…it’s time for more Alkon baiting.

I believe BBBB is referring to 976-PEEE, with its classic slogan “The extra e is for extra pee.”

I miss New York.

It’s like Eugene Levy and a Morlock had a baby. A dumb one.

I am now stuck wondering if Amy put herself through school working as an “operator” (voice talent?) at that estimablee servicee.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

It’s all over except for the crying in Minnesota.

Poor former Senator Cobag…I mean, Coleman…

Something about acetaminophen overdoses is a good idea. In a group I volunteer with, last February, a college girl who had no dental insurance in her college state had a toothache but couldn’t see a dentist until she went home for spring break. So she was taking nine extra-strength Tylenol™ equivalents per day, or 4500mg.

One night there was a party at her house, and according to others there who had no reason to lie, she had one weak beer (3.2% alcohol content).

Her roommates found her shivering, unconscious and drooling on the couch about 5AM. Her liver had shut down, and a day later she had died. It was a huge shock to that community.

The generally recognized safe limit for acetaminophen is 4000mg per day; the packages say 2000mg because some people are sensitive to it, but the general belief is “4000mg is OK if you’re hurting, prescriptions are way more than that and people are fine.” But some people are not—some people can’t have more than 2000mg or even 1000mg without dire consequences, and even the slightest amount of alcohol makes it exponentially worse.

This could be a story about health care reform, or packaging reform, or adding the antidote for overdoses to the pills (I’d never heard that before—does it decrease their efficacy?) or lots of things, but yeah, it actually is a problem, particularly among the least informed.

All I know from past experience is that “minor” doses of the stuff can kill healthy people of college age, and that anything Don Surber proposes must be wrong, so I have no suggestions. I merely offer a sad anecdote that there are problems here to be solved somehow.

I am now stuck wondering if Amy put herself through school working as an “operator” (voice talent?) at that estimablee servicee.

*scrubbing left ear violently*

Pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t, pleasesayshedidn’t…

Unlike Don, we’re not too busy eating moonpies and swilling RC Cola to retrieve and read the document.

Hang on… there’s nothing wrong with RC Cola.

Actually, now that you think of it, I really need an RC cola. How dare you induce a pregnancy craving?!?

[Gavin? Want to make a quick run to the bodega?]

I am now stuck wondering if Amy put herself through school working as an “operator” (voice talent?) at that estimablee servicee.

It would be irresponsible not to micturate.

Matt – considering that she was taking the stuff because we have a stupid way of deciding who can get care, and how, and where, I’d say it’s a story about health care reform.

And while we’re at it, this bullshit about dental not being covered by regular health insurance is just what it is – bullshit. You get an abcessed tooth, you can die from it without medical attention. Why the hell that shouldn’t be considered routine “health care” is beyond all reason.

Why should Surber be so unhappy with new regulations? I mean, I know of a few people who heavily abused Vicodin and other acetaminophen-containing painkillers and dropped dead when their liver staged a revolt. Isn’t that the sort of thing that Surber and his wingnut colleagues would generally approve of?

Oh, wait….

Lady Doctor Missus – I keep wondering if you ever got hooked up with the most excellent Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered edamame.

You know, since you’re talking about cravings and all.

Hang on… there’s nothing wrong with RC Cola

If you knew the family that owned it, you might not be so…sanguine.

Literally.

Coleman has conceded! Story + video of his presser is up on Kos!

Hang on… there’s nothing wrong with RC Cola.

I prefer RCC Cola, the extra C is for extra cola.

I believe BBBB is referring to 976-PEEE, with its classic slogan “The extra e is for extra pee.”

I watched a fair amount of those classic shows including some hilarious (although it was extremely variable) Midnight Blues when I had cable. I just adored Robyn Byrd. The time she had on an in-between-operations TS was great. The guy/girl had both sets of equipment and didn’t seem to mind showing them all off.

I considered it Educational TV, the quality of which Ch. 13 hadn’t done in years.

I prefer RCC Cola, the extra C is for extra cola.

I dunno… I kinda like RC Cola. How many soft drinks can you handle with a remote control?

Lady Doctor Missus – I keep wondering if you ever got hooked up with the most excellent Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered edamame.

Oooh! I never did! It always sounds fantastic, but then I get distracted by cravings for things at stores that are closer and forget.

Speaking of which, I think it’s time for a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles.

You can keep the cola, but I do enjoy CR–Crown Royal bourbon.

Mmm-mmm!

But some people are not—some people can’t have more than 2000mg or even 1000mg without dire consequences, and even the slightest amount of alcohol makes it exponentially worse

Actually I’ve seen analyses (huhuhuhuh, he said “anal”) that suggest 1000 mg is the highest safe dose, period.

Did you know snakes and cats can’t tolerate APAP at all?

Robyn Byrd was my favorite late night talk show host of all time. I hadn’t seen her in a few years (moved out of Manhattan and switched to dish anyway) but happened to catch her show a few years back and was shocked at how…well, deformed she had become. Do you know if she got sick?

Coleman has conceded!

that surprised me. So quick.

Sanford: I ‘crossed lines’ with other women

Wow, Christmas in July, practically.

Wheee! This may not be as shitty a day as it started out to look as.

Why is Surber all “OH Noes! I’ll have to go to the doctor to get my liver-killing pills and it will cost more!” when all he has to do is take 10 or 15 of the 325mg sized pills instead? And anyway he’d be dead when the doctor’s bill came.

So Surber totally agrees that busting people for growing pot in their garden is similarly a case of “over-regulation by the government,” right?

well, deformed she had become. Do you know if she got sick?

I didn’t know that. The last time I saw her show was quite a while ago.

It was the good old days when you had to search for your softcore porn rather than just download 50GB of it in a few minutes.

Did you know snakes and cats can’t tolerate APAP at all?
Artist’s impression of a cat reacting intolerantly to the demon Apap.

I sure hope they leave Preperation H alone… all this crap that BO and his cronies are shoving up our a$$ is causing hemorrhoids or monumental proportions!!!!

CR–Crown Royal bourbon.

BZZZZT! Crown Royal is not bourbon. I can scarcely believe that went unnoted by this crowd.

Speaking of which, I think it’s time for a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles.

Lady Doctor Missus, I think you should ramp up the chocobliss to eleven. A friend of mine threw a party for a bunch of second-graders she taught at a local museum, and the featured dessert was “dirt pudding”- commercial chocolate pudding, mixed with mashed up Entenmann’s chocolate cake, and Cocoa Pebbles. She gave me a sample, and it was as sweet as wingnut tears with a twist of Senator Franken.

You can keep the cola, but I do enjoy CR–Crown Royal bourbon.

Hey, the Crown Royal bag would make a great garment for an infant. Oops, there I go, ripping off The Simpsons.

Artist’s impression of a cat reacting intolerantly to the demon Apap.

APAP is what pharmacy types call acetominophen, and for good reason.

Such as the inability to spell acetaminophen.

Aceta/e — acetaeminophin? Paracetamol?

Fuck, I’ll just stick with APAP, thankyew.

I didn’t know that. The last time I saw her show was quite a while ago.

I traced back just now and found that she had started hosting a segment of the show devoted to body building and weight lifting, and apparently, she went from that svelte and hugely sexy body of hers to something a bit more…um…zaftig.

Damn. I went thru many a box of Kleenex conversation over her.

Ya got me, BBBB, CR is in fact crappy blended Canadian whiskey in a fancy bottle with a really handy bag. I used to work in a bar, and woul save the bags to give to my friends as ski-goggle holders. Actually drink the stuff? Nah. Jim Beam is better and cheaper.

A friend of mine threw a party for a bunch of second-graders she taught at a local museum, and the featured dessert was “dirt pudding”- commercial chocolate pudding, mixed with mashed up Entenmann’s chocolate cake, and Cocoa Pebbles.

Want.

Hey, the Crown Royal bag would make a great garment for an infant.

I’ll be sure to add this to the baby registry for little Studebaker.

that surprised me. So quick.

Yeah, me too. It hadn’t even gotten to him barricading himself in his office and being extracted by a bunch of guys in white coats.

Hey, the Crown Royal bag would make a great garment for an infant.

Pfuagh, you use Crown Royal bags for dice… until the point at which your dice collection no longer even comes close to fitting in said bag, at which point you A) graduate to a wooden box or fanny pack or some such, and B) realize that you are now officially a fuckin’ GAMER and should therefore abandon any pretense at having a life.

Pfuagh, you use Crown Royal bags for dice pot

Fixed!

Lady Doctor Missus, Gavin is busy right now.

my dad used to use a CR bag to keep his penny-ante poker winnings in.

Ya got me, BBBB, CR is in fact crappy blended Canadian whiskey in a fancy bottle with a really handy bag.

‘Tweren’t me, Steeerpike, ’twas PeeeJ.

Cool kids:
save the bags to give to my friends as ski-goggle holders.

Nerds:
Pfuagh, you use Crown Royal bags for dice… until the point at which your dice collection no longer even comes close to fitting in said bag, at which point you A) graduate to a wooden box or fanny pack or some such, and B) realize that you are now officially a fuckin’ GAMER and should therefore abandon any pretense at having a life.

Of course, Pere, being a nerd myself, I would totally toss polyhedrals while tossing back both Royal Crown and Crown Royal. In fact, I may have to run out and buy a bottle of Crown Royal. I could always use it to mix Manhattans, which always remind me of Manhattan Cable, which used to run 976-PEEE ads and the Robin Byrd show, which is central to my point..

Lady Doctor Missus, Gavin is busy right now.

My Gavin would never appear in public dressed as a shark.

He would either be a mantis shrimp or some sort of cephalopod.

RED ALERT!

I listened to American’s leading prescription drug expert today and I learned that Drudge’s lead story is the most important news in America!

RED ALERT!

Yup, you probably guessed it. Obama learned how to give the EVIL EYE in Hawaii and he’s using it to protect us from foreign leaders. Drudge’s number one story all day has been:

OBAMA’S EVIL EYE

Be careful my friends, you don’t to be standing anywhere near a foreign leaders when OBAMA puts the EVIL EYE on them. It could bounce off and GET YA! Drudge has the pictures!

The new wingnut superstorm: OBAMA’S EVIL EYE! brought to you by Drudge and Rush, coming soon to every C-grade wingnut blogger near you!

He would either be a mantis shrimp or some sort of cephalopod.

GAVIN IS PZ!!11!!!1!!!!

He would either be a mantis shrimp or some sort of cephalopod

So he’s either small or limp?

while tossing back both Royal Crown and Crown Royal

When mixed, does that become an R2C2? Or does the math work some other way?

When mixed, does that become an R2C2? Or does the math work some other way?

And after, you C3PEE. Oh!

Don’t make me come through the inter tubes to slap you around, actor212.

[/internettoughpreggolady]

And after, you C3PEE. Oh!

I think you’re missing an “E” there, old chum!

Here’s Drudge’s …developing…OBAMA’S EVIL EYE story:

BEWARE THE OBAMA ‘EVIL EYE’
Tue Jun 30

As the summer begins, White House watchers have spotted a new look by President Obama: The Evil Eye! … White House photographers have captured the “evil eye” in recent weeks…Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi got hit with the commander’s malocchio last week…at least one White House reporter has been on the receiving end of the daggers…

http://www.drudgereport.com/flashoe.htm

Beware the malocchio!

Don’t make me come through the inter tubes to slap you around, actor212.

I like this! SHE makes the Freudian slip, but I get caught with my hands in the cookie jar….

And after, you C3PEE. Oh!

I think you’re missing an “E” there, old chum!

Damn. I missed my cuee.

…hemorrhoids or monumental proportions

…not really a difficult choice, when you think about it

OT, but it appears the Oklahoma state legislature has become annoyed at the attention paid to batshit crazy nutcase wingnut bloggers by Sadly, No!, and wants some of their own S,N! lovin’.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/oklahoma-republicans-read_n_223074.html

Yeah, me too. It hadn’t even gotten to him barricading himself in his office and being extracted by a bunch of guys in white coats.

In all fairness, it’s not that hard to tear apart a fort made of the couch cushions.

Look here, wingholes. Tylenol hepatotoxicity is almost invariably linked with alcohol consumption. Obviously, the correct solution is to BAN ALCOHOL, right? Is that what you want? We got your prohibition *right here*.

Oh, good, let’s help them out:

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/okformorality

Love this bit from HuffPo: “petri dish for wingnuttery”. Time for the SadlyNo lab coats!

Obviously, the correct solution is to BAN ALCOHOL, right?

Alternatively, we could ban cytochrome P450 2E1 enzymes. That shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish with Dictator-For-Life Obama leading the way!

Are there any photographs of Surber without the fake Groucho glasses / nose / eyebrows?

Did someone say “Petrie dish”?

Word to the wise: skip the Jell-O, kid.

Are there any photographs of Surber without the fake Groucho glasses / nose / eyebrows?

Yeah.

@ Lady Doctor Missus Marita — I think I’m in love!

I DON’T MIND SO MUCH IF THEY MAKE TYLENOL PRESCRIPTION ONLY, BUT IF THEY EVER MAKE HEROIN ILLEGAL, THEY’LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO ME FIRST!!!

@ Lady Doctor Missus Marita — I think I’m in love!

Obama is pretty dreamy, I’ll admit.

I would totally toss polyhedrals while tossing back
Please elucidate. No, on second thoughts, please don’t.

Sanford: I ‘crossed lines’ with other women

Snorting: ur doin it rong.

http://www.economist.com/markets/indicators/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13917432

That reminds me, I need to go pick up booze and dice after work.

*sobs* MY LIFE IS A GODDAMN MESS!

I’M GIVING IT UP TODAY, I SWEAR!

*ahem*

So in that case, I’m just going to pick up the booze…

You Can’t Put Lipstick On A Repig sez:
and wants some of their own S,N! lovin’.

We aim to please!

Speech by Sally Kern

Okay, pukestains, listen up. I spent a cumload of political capital on this acetaminophen bullshit, so we’re not going to have health care or fag marriage anytime soon. Let’s see how the midterms go–if we get 105 Senate seats and 614 or so in the House, then maybe, maybe not. Otherwise we’re really going to have to be focused on the next Presidential election the way drunken sailors focus in on your mom’s cunt. Now go take a shit in the ocean and leave me alone, cocksuckers. Oh and keep giving us money and voting (like you little swishes have any fucking choice).

Hey, since I have totally debased this thread by peeeing all over it, how about some extra peee?

I think it would be funnier if “girl” were changed to “Surber” in the lyrics.

I used to play Magic the Gathering with a guy who kept his counters in a kangaroo scrotum pouch. It looked like any other leather pouch until you noticed that there was no seam.

Yes, but how does Iris feel?

I thought post-imbibition crown royal bags were velvet man undies?

My Gavin would never appear in public dressed as a shark.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita wears the shark suit in that household.

Hi, Troofy. Bad case of blueballs?

I thought post-imbibition crown royal bags were velvet man undies?

Cutting those legholes is too much work, real drunkards go commando.

“I spent a cumload of political capital on this acetaminophen bullshit, ”

I can imagine it must have taken quite a bit, what with getting the Bush Administration to greenlight the study.

Leg holes?

Oh, good, let’s help them out:

Well if Russ T. Trombeaun supports it so do I!

Wait, why did the Montana Troll link to a chart about heroin prices again?

Leg holes?

They tend to be traditional in men’s underpants.

Am I totally misreading the original post?

Sanford: I ‘crossed lines’ with other women

I bet he was calling that 976 number.

All the high grade smack on the streets of …(pauses “Do I know the names of any cities in Montana?”) Bozeman!

All the hight grade smack on the streets of Bozeman requires a chart to keep track of what the kids are buying this week.

And then I mispelled “high.” In my own defense, I’m on drugs.

To save my pubes
From the intertubes
I wrapped them in tinfoil.
This posing pouch
Made me go Ouch
Until I found ‘Crown Royal’.

Wait, why did the Montana Troll link to a chart about heroin prices again?

Not heroin prices, heron prices. Rugged appears to be bailing out of pelican futures. Why, what have you heard?

You can have my Tylenol when you pry it from my cold, dead, liver.

Congratulations, you’ve managed to work in just about all of the stereotypical slanders against West Virginians in just a few posts.

tde — you’re congratulating Don Surber, I take it?

td- what’s your extra “E” for?

MAJOR DRUG DEALERS HAVE BEEN STORING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF HEROIN IN MY BUTTE WHILE THEY WAIT FOR THE MARKET PRICE TO RISE!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW PAINFUL IT IS FOR ME!!!

My cute young nephew went to Halloween as a Tylenol Tablet many years ago. Neighbors thought this was funny, since several had died that same summer from tablets doctored (well not doctored exactly) with poison of some sort. Everyone threw their Tylenol in the trash. Tylenol is back now.

“Unlike Don, we’re not too busy eating moonpies and swilling RC Cola to retrieve and read the document.”

Yeah but I think its alright even if it aint nrbq.

My cute young nephew went to Halloween as a Tylenol Tablet many years ago. Neighbors thought this was funny, since several had died that same summer from tablets doctored (well not doctored exactly) with poison of some sort. Everyone threw their Tylenol in the trash. Tylenol is back now.

Yeah. The cyanide in the Tylenol, man, that was some funny shit.

Wingnuts fighting for the right to all the liver-damaging pharmaceuticals they can consume.

Natural selection is a starnge and wondrous thing.

Strange, too.

When ma babee left me,
She took ma Tylenol
Now Ah’ve found a new place to blog, down at the
Dead-Liver Hotel.

oh-bama, you have no faith in medicine

PeeeJ

I see what you did there.

Wingnuts fighting for the right to all the liver-damaging pharmaceuticals they can consume.

They think they’ll be pissing off liberals by producing foie gras.

If Don Surber was a Beastie Boy, they would have recorded “Fight for Your Right to Blow Out Your Liver With Tylenol” instead of the more mundane version they went with.

They think they’ll be pissing off liberals by producing foie gras.

Good point – but they may get the idea they’re pissing off liberals just by eating unregulated drugs. I know that I, speaking as a very liberally liberal – maybe even the socialest of them all – would be furious if I found out that any wingnut were pounding megadoses of unsafe pharmaceuticals or even contaminated dietary supplements.

They do kind of have a point though. Being free means being free to be a complete dumbass, and maybe part of the problem we’ve got now is that we over-regulated some stuff that prevented the culling of the herd that would have otherwise taken place. I’m thinking about things like that “Warning: do not drive car with sunshield in place” on the back of the cardboard windshield sun deflectors. I mean, that probably saved hundreds of wingnut lives, right there.

I’m thinking about things like that “Warning: do not drive car with sunshield in place” on the back of the cardboard windshield sun deflectors.

I remember thinking that one was a crowning achievement of CYA absurdity, but as you point out, there are certainly people dumb enough to need it.

You raise a fair point, Jennifer; maybe we should keep selling all these acetaminophen products and just make the caps a wee bit more “childproof”? Also: boozehoundproof.

prevented the culling of the herd that would have otherwise taken place.

It’s “civilization” what caused the rise of ninnies, & I’m against it, esp. if it results in cretins like Surber.

P. S.: Didn’t like that U2 you suggested, & did listen, not watch. We’ll just have to agree to disagree that my taste is … different.

In Europe, they put n-acetyl cysteine […] in the pills themselves

In New Zealand the distillers add acetaminophen to the ready-mixed screwdrivers. Mickey Kaus says You say “nanny-state government”, but I say “self-curing hang-over”.

The plural of antidote is not Dada!

not even close to all the slanders about West Virginians. And I been to Poca. Nice little town. The football team is called the “dots” We used to play them when I was in high school, 40 years ago. After reading Surber, I think Jesco White must be the leading intellectual from Poca.

What’s the hardest question on the West Virginia bar exam?

Nothing wrong w/ Moon Pies®, by the way.

P. S.: Didn’t like that U2 you suggested, & did listen, not watch. We’ll just have to agree to disagree that my taste is … different.

As I said, YMMV.

For what it’s worth, I like pretty much everything that isn’t “modern country” or commercial crap like boy bands and Britney Spears. My taste probably includes a lot of stuff you like too.

Not to get all policy-wonkish and stuff, this being a comedy blog, the issue here isn’t being free to be stupid. One of the real concerns is that acetaminophen is put in all kinds of other drugs — both OTC and Rx — where the consumer might not have any idea that it’s in the drug and that if he/she takes that drug with the maximum dose of acetaminophen, he/she risks serious problems.

The thing is, while this sturdy child of torpor Mr. Surber isn’t really worth commenting upon, there is something so exquisitely elegant about this spectacular — nay, Homeric dump you just took on him that my whole day seems brighter, happier, newer. You didn’t just crap one out the way a fellow would in the men’s room at an airport, straining to get it over with, perched on a hastily-constructed nest of toilet paper with balls dangling perilously close to the urine-ochred porcelain exposed by the institutional cleft seat.

No. This is a masterpiece of the type one calls others in to witness, and possibly take a camera-phone picture of: a coiled, gleaming serpent, its tapered head standing proudly above the waterline, brindle flanks studded with peanuts, its length and girth so prodigious that one doubts the aperture from which it descended will ever recover — yet the relief, the sense of accomplishment is unmatched in this lifetime by any other achievement. The author of this deuce, this ass-torpedo, is a genius. Peristalsis must still grip his bowels. A colossal shit sent writhing into the sewers, there to spawn its young: this could be a description of the takedown of Mr. Surber above; it could also be a description of the man himself.

Tintin – of course. I really wasn’t trying to suggest otherwise.

OT, but…you won’t believe this find. Scroll down the page to “Opinion” and look at who the sponsor is.

Seems completely appropriate.

Cagney & Lacey said,
July 1, 2009 at 3:47

For the life of me, I can’t see how you made it all the way through that without a single “scuse my finGAHs!”

This is a masterpiece of the type one calls others in to witness…

You’re right, and your comment is no slouch either.

I’m thinking about things like that “Warning: do not drive car with sunshield in place” on the back of the cardboard windshield sun deflectors. I mean, that probably saved hundreds of wingnut lives, right there.

The thing is, that warning label also (probably mostly) saves the life of the kid on the skateboard who doesn’t get run over when the barely sentient driver peels the Hummer out of the driveway.

“Caution: Hot coffee is hot” is still the best purely anti-Darwinian warning label we have.

…when the barely sentient driver peels the Hummer out of the driveway.

Strangely for me that conjured up this image – my enduring mental snapshot or shorthand for wingnuttia – “Hey! Look what Zog do!”

I kinda imagine this is what dinnertime will look like at Galt’s Gulch.

“Caution: Hot coffee is hot”

Ceci n’est pas un café…

This is a masterpiece of the type one calls others in to witness
Why not bronze-plate the thing for posterity?
“Been down so long it looks like up to me.” Page 176 if memory serves.

Jeffrey St. Clair, a personal friend.

No, wait, that was “Been Brown So Long…”

In West Virginia, both Crown Royal and Royal Crown bottles have labels on the bottom instructing the consumer to “Open other end.”

Or so I’ve heard.

A cum load of political capital is about 10 ml as I remember from Pop music 101.
People would just laugh at you with that sort of spend. And they would know about the Shark Suit and not be scared anymore.

Department of Park and Recreation.

You slay me.

Congratulations, you’ve managed to work in just about all of the stereotypical slanders against West Virginians in just a few posts.

Did we get the “four dogs killed when the porch collapsed” joke in? I missed it.

he should get five strikes because a girl. then six strikes because he’s so cute.

don’t you people read Peanuts?

Hey, if Moron Don wants to keep popping the ol’ acetaminophen, let him. When his liver finally goes tits-up, he’ll find out that he’s waaaaaay down the list for a transplant, past the tertiary spare for Steve Jobs.