The Circle Is Complete
We connect the dots, you deduce the conspiracy:
June 8: David Letterman tells a joke about the Palin family, forcing conservatives to divert precious blogging resources away from Obama-bashing to defend the plucky Alaskans. A trial run of the diversionary tactics the MSM will soon use to help squash Iranian freedom?
June 13: Protests against the Iranian elections begin.
June 16: Obama refuses to credit America for Iranian uprising, proving once again that it is all about him.
June 24: South Carolina governor Mark Sanford admits to Argentinian affair, kicking off major MSM operations against Iran’s Green Revolution.
June 26: Michael Jackson dies. Liberal media blitzkrieg is now in full swing as unending wave of Jacko chyrons effectively trample the corpse of Neda into the dust.
June 28: Death of infomercial pitchman Billy Mays. Nascent Iranian democracy successfully nipped in the bud by media thugs.
?
It’s even more sinister than that, I reckon. This smells like an Obamatron plot to kill right-wing bloggers. Here’s how it works: they work up some Obama-related quasi-controversy, launching the cons into action while elevating their blood pressure levels. Immediately afterward, they arrange for the death and/or humiliation of a public figure. The MSM shifts to cover them. This is a two-pronged assault on the conservatives: not only does it initiate another blood pressure spike (“How dare they stop talking about blah blah?”) but it also ties up their resources as they search frantically for a way to pin the tragedy on Democrats. Then, just as the right-wingers begin to drift back into their own comfort zones to regroup, Obama makes another appearance and the cycle begins anew. Repeat until blood shoots out of their eyes or they get so tangled up they lose the ability to feed themselves.
The Corpse of Nada sounds like a great band name. I think you meant “Neda”, but still.
Anyway, the conspiracy is that Letterman is jealous of Conan, Conan doesn’t look like someone who would wear a turban, Obama once did, Sanford’s mistress is an Argentinian Nazi, Jackson was killed after failing to produce enough Aryan children, and Billy Mays knew too much which was why he was yelling all the time. So the obvious answer is The Jews, but I still haven’t figured out the question.
jon – fixed! Just goes to show how far the MSM propaganda machine has gone to shove her down the memory hole.
How did Michelle Malkalakadingdong manage to tie Wikipedia to Banks?
Let me see if I can do it:
“OMG, my local bike store has refused to put a Church meeting notice in their store window, which didn’t make the news! If this had been an abortion clinic bombing it would have been all over the front page!”
Ah, I see how easy it is.
June 30 – Profit!
Malkin spews:
Irresponsible not to speculate, etc. Also, Jimbo.
More wingnuttitude
Hilarity ensues!
“I have 15 years experience in media” becoming the new “I am aware of all internet traditions.”
June 29 – Bernie Madoff gets 150 year sentence.
Just giving you another dot. I don’t know how it connects, but I believe that’s central to your point.
we’re through the looking glass here, people…up is down…and black is white…
June 27: Rosemary’s Baby is born.
The Circle Is Complete
( for details, see “Goatse” )
Doughnuts, kids?
The Circle is Complete?
I always knew that Bluegrass Gospel was secretly Satanic. That’s why when Sanford was distracted by, um, events south of the border, so to speak, he made reference to his going on “the Appalachian trail”.
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE NEW WINGNUT-O-MATIC 6000
There is special providence in the fall of an infomercial pitchman.
Well, that’s the problem with a tactic of throwing people under the bus in order to divert media attention: after a while, those gosh-darn bus drivers get good at dodging, and you have to have a secondary sacrifice to make sure that they zig instead of zag. Sorry, Farrah.
I guess the Iranian revolution is like Tinkerbell: it dies if we all don’t clap hard enough.
Curses! Foiled again!
June 30: Pina Bausch dies. Media blackout is a rehearsal for the non-coverage that is being prepared for the coming wave of cheeto-related asphyxiations.
Cheese, whine, and c.
I guess that settles things. Obama is a Sham Wow kinda guy.
We also had spinning plates and fireworks planned but that’s all ruined now.
So Letterman killed the video star?
Fabulous! Absolutely Fabulous!
Save of course you forgot to show how all of this was done by the Gay HomoZeXual Marriage Agendanista to advance their God Hating America Bashing Agenda of Capital Gaines Taxes to punish the True Galt!
But then again, you have been suspiciously too close to the MSM to be able to maintain perspective I guess…
So Hitler McObamastalin managed to force Sanford into an illicit affair AND kill not only Michael Jackson, Billy Mays (FOR OXICLEAN!) and Farrah Fawcett.. in the same week!!!
My Gobbs, is there no end to the man’s evil?
Don’t forget Ed McMahon. Obama’s universal euthanasia policy killed Eddy by denying him proper privately owned insurance coverage. These are all just stepping stones on the path to Armageddon. The end is nigh! Nigh!
So Hitler McObamastalin managed to force Sanford into an illicit affair AND kill not only Michael Jackson, Billy Mays (FOR OXICLEAN!) and Farrah Fawcett.. in the same week!!!
And Gale Storm. While she was a clean-cut television star of the 50s, her name sounds suspiciously like a taxi dance girl with a lot of hoochiecootchie going on, which distracted old white men.
Also.
Point on the June 16 item, after it was revealed that internal White House communications credited the pro-reform movement’s strength based on Obama’s Cairo speech, conservatives were in fact very quick to decry the administrations supposed egotism.
Obama made me mis-hear my wife saying “Billy Mays died at 50” as “Willie Mays died at 50″ and respond with “Willie Mays is way older than 50.”
Suddenly, everything is falling into place just a little too perfectly for the 2012 Romney-Norris ticket.
First, David Letterman set up the infosacrifice of Palin’s youngest children, to propitiate the Islamocommie God that all major media stars pray to, except Schwarzenegger, Fred Thompson and Jack Bauer (his real name; he’s only acting when he’s Kiefer Sutherland).
A curve ball was thrown in, when President Osama suddenly didn’t yell at Iran and help cause a bloody civil war. This was good news for McCain/Palin. This could have led to the GOP taking back the white house before it is covered in peace signs and blown up by Ayers as a thank-you for all the missing blond women Ayers kidnapped for Chicago Obama-supporters to rape at fundraisers.
Where was I? Right, Palin was now poised to win the 2009 – uh, 2012 – election, as long as she had a good VP. Sanford was a bright, young and rising GOP star of less than 70 years old. He had to be taken out.
Once that was done, the plan was back on track. It was time for the death of Billie Mays. Coming after he brainwashing of America and the hyper-overhearted attention on the media on Michael Jackson, the Iranian-led cabal of brown-people Islamocommie superpowers can now trigger their deep-cover mole.
Bobby Jindal (aka Ali Hussein Muhammad-Al-Akbaristan) will trick the already half-brainwashed weight-losing Huckabee, to start selling hummus and pita weight-loss products to Middle America in Billy May-commemorative slots on the Shopping Network. The products will be a hit, and even worse they will work, causing America to shed its magnificent Christian fat.
Soon everyone is as lightweight as Osama Hussein Beelzebub. And with no weight to throw around, what’s to stop President Negro’s Islamocommie health care?
And where does David Carradine fit in? Hmmm?
Molest my boast, libs!
Bernie Madoff sentenced to 150 years. Coincidence?
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
…what’s to stop President Negro’s Islamocommie health care?
Dianne Feinstein, for one.
Pina Bausch dies
wow, only 68.
OK now it’s all going META.
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
No. Wait. This is good news!
NOW we can blame the RIGHT WING for distracting us from events in Iran by having a shlemiel cover a shlemazel!
One more tragic entry on the OBAMA FOOT INJURY LIST
You forgot Ed MacMahon! How could you miss the obvious Publisher’s Clearinghouse/Star Search/Talk show Sidekick murder, which allows David Letterman to steal ratings from Conan O’Brien, furthering the islamo-child-rape agenda, and funneling money from Publisher’s Clearinghouse to Iranian bomb manufacturers. It’s all so obvious!
We can only guess who was driving that gold Corolla.
So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
Proof obviously that hit-and-run drivers are liberals.
Also, look at how Wikipedia is censoring the identity of the driver, just more proof, as if it were needed, that Wiki hates America.
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
… and thus, in a painful and cataclysmic tearing of the fabric of reality into pomo-space, the whole of Fox News telescoped into a maelstrom of infinite regress, which gradually sucked in every affiliated newscaster, pundit and loudmouth bimbo News Corporation had in its employ.
And somewhere, above all of the perfect storm’s incomprehensible noise of reports on reports, one could make out the faint but decidedly derisive laughter of Jacques Derrida…
So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
FOX was IN ON THE LIBERAL CONSPIRACY ALL ALONG@!!#(#^&*!
JOIN THE DOTS, PEOPLE!
~
Ed MacMahon was with that patriotic organization American Family Publishers, not the fascist Publisher’s Clearinghouse! Get it right, libs! And Obama was humming Smooth Criminal just before his last televised speech. It all fits!
Wiki hates America.
May I direct your attention to a more reliable pro-America online encyclopedia.
I thought you were all joking about the hit and run at the Fox compound.
Woo.
Now all we need is a drive-by shooting and looting of all the camera equipment, in a low-chopped street rod driven by a bandana-wearing Michael Jackson.
Have y’all seen this video?
It’s apparently produced by Sarah Palin’s PAC, to be shown on July 4th.
I am almost convinced its a parody, it can’t possibly be serious. It’s hilarious! All she needs is something to stuff in the flight suit.
And of course, Michael Jackson, who claimed to be a Jehovah’s Scientologist, or whatever, was actually a crypto-Muslim and the illegitimate half brother of Barack Obama! (They had the same mother, Priscilla Presley, but Jackson’s father was Elija Muhammed, whereas Obama’s was Malcom X) They had to silence the gloved one, so they bribed a Jewish doctor to administer a daily cocktail of Demerol, percocet, adderall, cialis, thorazine, methamphetamine, welbutrin, soma, nicorette, xanax, immodium, celebrex, lipitor and tic-tac to make it look like an “accident”.
Marshall McLuhan died again.
I guess the message in that video is, Sarah has a bigger penis than Kim Jong Il and Khameini combined. And the President is a nigger.
What you giggling Obots fail to realize is that this is indeed the result of the Obot-infatuated, DNC-controlled media, the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning, and who ignored the sound of our boots walking away while they annointed their beloved Messiah. Well, listen up, Obots, this is true blue America talking, the Reagan Democrats and strong-moral voters in Appalachia, and we’re saying Enough! Enough with your beloved Messiah’s pussyfooting around Iran, enough of his beloved bailouts, enough of the taxation. Now do you see what a mess you made when you didn’t honor Hillary with the nomination? You’ll be calling for her to save you in 2012, you’ll see.
Shorter Iris:
‘Bookmark this, Obots.’
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
[golf clap]
What you giggling Obots fail to realize is that this is indeed the result of the Obot-infatuated, DNC-controlled media…
The media are infatuated with us?
Did not know that.
O to the T, but did Sadlynaughts catch this program? It featured some prominent wingnuts. In the bits that I saw, Daniel Pipes explained that an Arab-American educator in NYC was most likely a terrorist, and David Horowitz said stuff that made no sense, and said it in an unsufferable manner.
Talking wingnut heads!
And I didn’t even see the segment on Ward Churchill. I’m sure I missed some nutty goodness there.
Iris’ boots are made for walking away and being ignored.
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
And, of course, cowbell!
Whenever I connect the dots I just get a clown or a giraffe.
Guess I need to eat at better restaurants.
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
Would have given a higher score if she worked hiking the Appalachian trail into it.
NOW we can blame the RIGHT WING for distracting us from events in Iran by having a shlemiel cover a shlemazel!
Shizzle the fo’fizzle what now?
and David Horowitz said stuff that made no sense, and said it in an unsufferable manner
As, of course, opposed to every other time Ho’shitz opens his moronic piehole.
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like.
Enough with your beloved Messiah’s pussyfooting around Iran
Ah, a veiled (or should I say burqa’d) peni^h^h^h^h va-jay-jay reference.
Whenever I connect the dots I just get a clown or a giraffe.
When wingers connect the dots, they complete a circle that pretty much always looks like an acorn. Wierd, huh.
the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning,
Alert National Geographic: I think we may have an actual rare PUMA sighting to report! Long thought extinct, it turns out there are still a few in the wild who are convinced Obama has no chance of beating a Republican in the general election, and therefore we must rally around La Clinton, if we want to have any chance of winning!
Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like
As opposed to all the pro-American dictators the GOP prefers.
You had dots?
Luxury!
I don’t know nobody named Irisssss.
MSN.com is mooning us with pig asses.
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like.
Jesus H Christ. D.A. puts up a satirical “Connect the Dots” post, and Joe Q Wingnut shows up to only to emphasize the satire with some vault copy UR NOT DOIN IT PROPLY unintended comedy.
Sadly No as performance art, just classic.
JOIN THE DOTS, PEOPLE!
Join the dot people?
I’d rather dot the joint people.
So the obvious answer is The Jews, but I still haven’t figured out the question.
So, in the end, would you call that the Final Solution?
“You had dots?
Luxury!”
Well, now I have dots. Back in the day, around the campfire cooking the Mastodon, we had to use rocks for dots and connect them with sticks!
the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning
I say this as the most strident Hillarybot there was, and you can look up my credentials if you choose:
Iris, shut up.
Most logical? Um, so then President Obama is…what, precisely? Notpresident?
Franken to be seated in Senate
Suck it, Coleman!
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
And even after that, Cornyn will shut down the Senate rather than see Stuart Smalley seated. You can start getting mad now for having the obvious pointed out to you.
You can start getting mad now for having the obvious pointed out to you.
Bookmark it, libs!
Also, PENIS.
And such as.
Senator Al Franken, huh?
I find that both extremely attractive and yet, strangely repulsive, all at once.
I feel the same way about Frankin himself, Actor.
Senator Al Franken? Is that why Sanford kept apologizing to “the Tom Davis-es of the world”?
I wonder if Rush will play funny numbers with the unanimous decision by the Minnesota Supremes.
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that
it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t likeboth countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by the Reagan administration decades ago.Fizzixed!
You had dots?
Luxury!
We had to use our own acne!
So now it’s “
breakingmultiple fracture news”Enhanced.
Marshall McLuhan died again.
Brian O’Blivion continues to live as long as his videotapes are played.
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that
it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t likeboth countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by theReaganEisenhower administration decades ago.Fizzizzled!
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like both countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by the Reagan Eisenhower administration decades ago.
Fizzizzled!
Tragically, this circle never seems to complete itself.
Fear not, B4…now that our days of empire are drawing to a close, at least the circle of destruction will stop.
Unless, of course, we decide that if we can’t rule the world, we might as well blow it up. I’m sure this is a fair representation of President Palin’s take on things.
We had to use our own acne!
Y’had acne?
WE had ta use our smallpox!
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
What’d ya say, Troofy? That you’re a giant fucking idiot?
… and thus, in a painful and cataclysmic tearing of the fabric of reality into pomo-space, the whole of Fox News telescoped into a maelstrom of infinite regress, which gradually sucked in every affiliated newscaster, pundit and loudmouth bimbo News Corporation had in its employ.
Kind of like this?
Duros, I can’t believe I fell for that again. It’s like Rickrolling with a black hole.
Blackrolling, as it were.
That bit about Gale Storm in the last link, definitely an eye opener, like the average Hot Air reader is 80.
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
You better believe I bookmarked it!
Courtesy of my wife:
“We dreamed of dots…”
I dream about not dreaming of dots.
*points at Mr. GOP and laughs heartily* Coleman won’t concede! AAAAAAHahahahaha!
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