I wrote a post on this back in the day. I looked at several categories of books, and political stemwinders had the lowest average rating, driven by all the politically-motivated 1-star reviews. In my unscientific sample, pop politics books had a lower average rating (3.6) than “bad” books like “The International Jew” and “So, You Wish to Learn All About Economics?” By Lyndon Larouche (3.8). See here and here.

Whoa, it’s Ted Barlow! Sorry the place is such a mess… we’re not used to having… you know… *thoughtful* people ’round these parts 😉

What about the other Amazon reviews for Michael Moore, Al Franken, or Paul Krugman? Those conservative firebrands of intelligent discourse always seem to end with THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!

Aw, shucks. You’re going to give me a swelled head.

Amazon deleted my review of O’Beirne’s book.

I wrote them asking why, they sent me a letter back saying I hadn’t read the book.

I find this odd because I cited specific problems I had with the contents of her book.

Oh well, I guess I’ll write Amazon back.

bwaah, bwaah, bwaah ha ha.

Conservatives are such a bunch of pathetic whinging wimps. Hopefully they will all die from drowning in their own tears!

I wrote them asking why, they sent me a letter back saying I hadn’t read the book.

It’s just silly. Most of the negative reviews of these partisan books are by people who haven’t read the books. Most of the time you don’t need to, since there aren’t any actual ideas being discussed.

“…sub-imbecile readers, most of whom aren’t even able to shower without wearing specially-designed safety helmets.”

This is yet another fine example of humanitarian hypocricy and liberal discrimination against the developmentally challenged. I am proudly one of these “sub-imbecile readers,” and most of us don’t take showers. We take old fashioned baths in old fashioned tubs, once a week, preferably on Saturday nights so we can be nice and clean for our fundie church services on Sunday morning.

Actually, I am one of the more modern of the conservative troglodytes, so I do take the occasional shower. But though I just took a shower today, it was without the aid of any of these so-called helmets. Yes, I slipped and fell, but the bump that ensued on my head did not produce a concussion, and you can’t keep a good conservative down, so I got right back up, dried myself off, and got ready to face another day of shining the light in this dark, cynical abyss known as “Sadly, no!”

PS: To be completely honest, I did nearly drown after falling and bumping my head because I forgot to take the plug out of the bath tub before taking my shower, and I was listening to Rush on my shower radio, so I took a little too long to get out. No, not Rush the talk show host, Rush, the Canadian band. I was using the music to celebrate the results of the Canadian election. And BTW, don’t bother sending Prime Minister Harper a helmet as a congratulatory gift. The water is much too cold up there for either baths or showers. They just use a lot of deoderant.

Sorry the place is such a mess… we’re not used to having… you know… *thoughtful* people ’round these parts.

Hey!

No…you’re right. But in my defense, I’m not even trying anymore. I mean, when the crazy-assed racist bitch says yet another crazy-assed, racist and bitchy thing, what can more can you say: “Ms. Malkin, you really aren’t very nice, you know?”

Actually, I am one of the more modern of the conservative troglodytes, so I do take the occasional shower. But though I just took a shower today, it was without the aid of any of these so-called helmets.

It was a joke, Doc. And, if I may say so, it was pretty funny.

Yes, Brad, though I am loath to admit it, the joke was pretty funny. As you can tell, it also inspired me. But what is even more funny is that these helmet-headed neocons will, in the end, get the last laugh, when all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet.

“When all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet” is a truly nasty comment.

This will come to pass though when all human life ceases to exist. Of course, all vestiges of every ideology and worldview will be wiped off the face of the planet when that happens, but c’est la vie.

‘As if this weren’t bad enough, her work as a shrill partisan harpy has become even more difficult recently”

Sorry, but must point out the lost opportunity to call Ms. M a “shrill shill”.

How about a “shrill shill shrew”? Why not amp it up a bit? If you’re going to get into some serious liberal lynching with this minority woman, you might as well throw in as many pejorative words as possible. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at her. Coming to think of it, why spare the kitchen sink?

But what is even more funny is that these helmet-headed neocons will, in the end, get the last laugh, when all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet.

And here I thought the goal of neoconservatives was to spread democracy… 🙂

OMFG, Dr. BLT commenting on a Michelle Malkin piece. It’s like (Stupid)Hydrogen and (Stupid)Oxygen combining.

The Stupid, it burns!

Oh, fiddle-dee-dee, BLT.

By the way, with that Rush reference, you might be thinking about ways to cover up the old man smell you are no doubt plagued with. I suggest tea-tree oil shampoo, since the smell mostly comes from a (balding) scalp.

So you’re the new kid on the block, Hideous New Girl. Welcome to the neighborhood! But, all niceties aside, let’s face it, New Girl, it was that chemistry class you took in high school that ultimately screwed up your GPA.

And BTW, Mal de mer, afficionadoes of great rock ‘n’ roll, whether young or old, don’t discriminate against bands on the basis of the band’s age. A good rock fan never forgets his roots. But I can also appreciate modern acts like Bush, no, not the great American president, the great American band. I get even more modern than the 90s in my ecclectic musical tastes, but I’m not here to prove how old or young I am, I’m here to enlighten you young whippersnappers.

“… when all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet.”

a) I agree with yagi – that was a really nasty comment.

b) Sincere question for Dr. BLT – what exactly would the world look like without liberals? If there had never been any liberals throughout history, what would our world be like today?

c) One more sincere question for the Doc – if, as you seem to really hope, there will come a day when there is no liberalism, period, what will that accomplish? What will be so great about that day that is the result of no liberals?

“I’m here to enlighten you young whippersnappers”

Horsefeathers!! Fiddlesticks!! We don’t need any such poppycock!!

“But I can also appreciate modern acts like Bush, no, not the great American president, the great American band.”

Old Man BLT, ummm…Bush, the band, was British, look it up, it’s on the internets.

And not really good either. Who cites Bush as a music reference anyway?

Sincere question for Dr. BLT – what exactly would the world look like without liberals?

Like this.

And BTW, Mal de mer, afficionadoes of great rock ‘n’ roll, whether young or old, don’t discriminate against bands on the basis of the band’s age.

Absolutely, they discriminate on the hairstyles of the band’s fans. Rush’s legions of be-mulleted suburban teenagers never did much for me. But, like BTO, Lighthouse, The Guess Who, etc. they make me all wistful and nostalgic for my youth in the 70’s.

…God, it sucked.

“…God, it sucked.”

Yes it did, Mal de mer, but you’ve got to admit: It sucked good!

BLT, don’t make me put you in the Iron Maiden. You’re giving me a migraine.

it was that chemistry class you took in high school that ultimately screwed up your GPA.

Unfortunately, I didn’t study chemistry in high school, but I do know that you ((Stupid)Hydrogen) commenting on (combined with) Malkin ((Stupid) Oxygen) creates a big explosion of Stupid (and a few molecules of water). Sadly, No is the flame that catalyzes the reaction.

Mal de mer, I love the “irony,” but c’mon, admit it, you’re loving the pain!

I’m beginning to think there may be some chemistry between us, Tak.

Yes, I too would like to know more about Dr. Sandwich’s eliminationist comment.

Eeew! Dr. BLT is makin’ water with Michelle Malkin! Again, I say, “Eeeeww!!!”

Anne, can you be a little more specific. How would you like me to elaborate on the elminationism?

If we get enough water together, Marq, we’re going to hold and old fashioned baptism.

BTW, Brad, you are on a roll today. What can I say? Thanks for the map. It’s given me a whole new sense of direction.

without liberals, there would be no America. All of the conservatards of the day were Tories. See, they’ve been beddwetting cowards all along.

Hey, you know what else hydrogen and oxygen make besides water? Oh, that’s right, OH- (that’s the up high negative, but I don’t know the character for it) – aka hydroxide, the molecule responsible for basic solutions. Nothing burns like a chemical burn, baby! So we’re looking at a nice 14 on the pH scale of stupidity, if I may continue the metaphor. Who’s ready for “and old fashioned baptism” in lye and bleach?

Funny how this turned into an unintentional case of confirmation for one of David Neiwert’s basic themes – the one about how while liberals may be snarky and insulting, even racist – in a mocking, ironic fashion – conservatives are absolutely fucking slaphappy with the eliminationist rhetoric, which they always claim is a “joke”.

Nobody’s ever been able to explain to me how mass murder references are funny, either – but I suppose, coming from Jewish stock as I do, that I probably lack the “genocidal humor” gene. Of course, the ancestors of mine who would’ve had it probably didn’t make it out of Eastern Europe alive to be my direct progenitors, so that probably explains it.

And if you want humor in the Amazon book reviews, check out the ones for the bible someday! 😉

Taube, you’ve got one thing right. I do have the perfect solution. It’s really quite simple: a return to core conservative values.

Also:

“Who’s ready for “and old fashioned baptism” in lye and bleach?”

Rather than “lye and bleach,” may I suggest “lying on the beach” as the perfect post-baptismal activity?

No…you’re right. But in my defense, I’m not even trying anymore.

Mal, are you sure you were trying?

😉

before.

(cough, cough)

…and when those last vestiges of liberalism are gone, we won’t be subjected to dr. blt’s “music” again cos there won’t be any fucking venues.

Hey Ted, how many Amazon book reviewers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they read by starpower.

pop r., when you attack my music, you attack my very soul. Are you sure you want to go there? If you do insist on treading upon that piece of ground, would you be willing to offer constructive criticism instead of vague cheap shots? Which song or songs in particular do you have a problem with and why? Spell it out. Instead of acting in a cowardly, pusilanimous manner, present specifics and be intelligent in your critique. Then I will take you seriously, and perhaps even appy some of your suggestions.

So it’s OK for Dr. PYT to pine for the day when all liberalism has been eradicated from the globe but someone impugning the quality of his shitty half-assed songs is OVER THE LINE?

Dr OTB, what would you say it would take to eradicate a worldview from the planet? Would, say, one living Christian on the earth be enough to sustain the existence of the Christian worldview? Hmm?

You want to play cutesy-nicey with us while wishing for our death and destruction. How altruistic of you, O bringer of light!

“You want to play cutesy-nicey with us while wishing for our death and destruction.”

GoatBoy, I was referring to “liberalism” being wiped off the face of the planet, not “liberals.” Moreover, I am hoping it is wiped out through love, not hatred or governmental control. I’m not praying for a Noahesque flood to wash all of you away. Who would I have left to debate with? Besides, that would be positively antideluvian of me. No, I have more faith in humanity than to give up on you just yet. There is hope for you liberals, and that’s why I keep shining my light in these dark corners.

Also, I understand how your rage over my conservative ideology can easily become displaced and my music can so easily become the target. I welcome your criticism of my songs, but please, no cheap shots, just specific, well-thought-out, intelligent, and constructive criticism. There are many folks out there who admire my music. Out of hundreds of thousands of mp3s, one of my songs actually cracked the top 30, peaking at #21 on the charts at mp3000.net just a few months ago. The difference between those folks and folks like you is that they still haven’t heard about my politics. They are unbiased at this point.

Unlike you, I can appreciate the musical skills of numerous liberals, some very radical in their ideologies. One has to separate one’s political views from one’s musical critique in order to be objective, and in order not to miss out on some really great music.

‘GoatBoy, I was referring to “liberalism” being wiped off the face of the planet, not “liberals.”‘

And how would this be accomplished in the next forty years any more successfully than the last forty? Thanks for not answering my question, though. True to form. Phrased differently:

What would it take for you to surrender YOUR worldview? Probably something pretty extreme and unpleasant, that is if you hold this worldview with any real will. When you advocate an end to liberalism in this country, whatever it would take for you to renounce your worldview, THAT is what you are wishing to happen to your political opponents.

(Oh, and re: your Return to Conservative blahblah…when is this nationwide conservative core values era for which you carry your torch? Can you give me a decade? A 25-year range maybe? When is this age for which you are so nostalgic?)

Do you really want me to critique your “song””craft”? Really? I’ll consider it, although I, unlike you, see no margin in enlightening you regarding your cluelessly benighted ideas regarding songwriting. You’ll have to ask a few more times before I’m partially convinced I’m not being set up for a patented Dr. MSG “Help I’m being HateSpeeched” troll.

GoatBoy, the “wiping out all vestiges of liberalism” comment was not meant to be taken so seriously. There was an element of tongue-in-cheek in that statement. I guess I should have spelled that out, but then again, wouldn’t that defeat the purpose. If I had intended to make a more serious comment concerning my hopes for a paradigm shift, I would have said that I hope that we all find some common ground and begin building from there instead of tearing each other down all the time. There is too much divisive rhetoric going around and I think it’s time we all learned to work out our differences.

I will say it once again. Though I prefer praise, even faux of fulsome praise, if you must criticize my music, I do accept specific, constructive, rationally-based, objective criticism. Tell me what song you have a problem with, and why, and present your arguments in an intelligent manner, and I will give them serious consideration. I may even apply your suggestions if they seem reasonable.

“…faux or fulsome praise” that is.

Dr. BLT: shame! Shame! I don’t think our fulsome has ever praised you, though I wouldn’t be surprised if someone on Faux had. 😉

Hey Marq,
Don’t take Dr. BLT so seriously. As he said, he’s got his tougue in someone’s cheeks. Or something like that.

“GoatBoy, the “wiping out all vestiges of liberalism” comment was not meant to be taken so seriously. There was an element of tongue-in-cheek in that statement.”

So you didn’t mean it? Exterminate the vermin!…just kidding?

Bullshit. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it. The existence of liberals (you know, the PEOPLE who ascribe to liberalism) bothers you. Why won’t they all just see the light? Funny thing about seeing the light as a phrase, Dr. PTL? It’s a Christian allusion to saving a soul from eternal damnation. You are so enthralled with eliminationist rhetoric that you let it slip through even when you’re trying to Good Cop. You can’t help it.

And you wonder why many here treat with such disdain? You want us wiped out. What the fuck do you expect?

(Why does this finding common ground always seem to entail our finding that ground on your side of the border?)

Okay, large majorities of Americans support universal health care and doing “whatever it takes” to protect the environment. There is some common ground, now get out there and support it.

Dr. CRS, is there some occluded reason behind your apparent aversion to answering a direct question directly? I confess the only reasons I can come up with are less than charitable.

When was this age of core conservative values to which you wish your nation to return?

I don’t want you and/or your ilk wiped out GoatBoy. If I did, would I try to dissuade you from rendering you and your ilk an endangered species via such activities as abortion, gay sex and unsafe sex, strictly for the sake of pleasure? The answer is an unequivocal, resounding, rhetorical, No! If I wanted you exterminated, I would let you folks wipe yourselves out by using and promoting the use of sex for every purpose imaginable, except for the purpose of reproduction. I love you GoatBoy! I do. Agape style that is. I know you want me to hate you, because that would leave your stereotypes about conservatives intact, and unchallenged, but wanting me to hate you and your ilk doesn’t make it so.

Dr. CRS, is there some occluded reason behind your apparent aversion to answering a direct question directly? I confess the only reasons I can come up with are less than charitable.

When was this age of core conservative values to which you wish your nation to return?

“neocons will, in the end, get the last laugh, when all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet.”

For it to be a joke, somebody besides you should be laughing. So, whenever you get the chance, I’d appreciate your ignoring my request to explain how this was funny. When you say you’re kidding it implies a jab that neither party takes seriously. A good-natured thing. So, barring the humor explanation would you mind failing to address my inability to find such characteristics anywhere within the post in question? At your earliest convenience.

Jokes should never be held to such a litmus test. Nevertheless, I don’t believe the term “joke” was ever used by me to characterize my statement. I used the term “tongue-in-cheek.” The two have very different, if undeniably related, definitions.

Dr. TCB, setting the Guinness record for pedalling backwards.

Questions above. Answers ever?

tongue in cheek:

Ironically or as a joke, as in “Was he speaking with tongue in cheek when he said Sally should run for president?” This term probably alludes to the facial expression produced by poking one’s tongue in one’s cheek, perhaps to suppress a smile.
–

See Joking. And what a knee slapper it was! “Exterminate the vermin” sure does seem a popular punchline among those conservatives with tongues in cheeks. Odd, that.

Be my friend, GoatBoy. BE MY FRIEND!

“… when all vestiges of liberalism have been wiped off the face of the planet.”

“I would let you folks wipe yourselves out by using and promoting the use of sex for every purpose imaginable, except for the purpose of reproduction.”

BLT, and I mean this sincerely, go see a psychiatrist, ASAP.

Looks like you’ve taken my comments out of context again Random Guy. Well, at least you are being true to your aka.

As for your recommendation that I see a psychiatrist, will a psychologist do? I assumed so, and scheduled an appointment for myself with myself next Thursday at 9 am. I’m the only psychologist I trust with problems as big as mine. Will group therapy do? I hope so. Me, myself and I are scheduled for a group therapy session.

Dr. OCD, setting the Guinness record for pedalling backwards.

Questions above. Answers ever?

“When was this age of core conservative values to which you wish your nation to return?”

It began in the Garden of Eden, with Adam and Eve. It ended when each of them capitulated under the temptation of the serpent, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.

BTW, no pun intended with the use of the term “core.”

Did you miss the parts in the books after Genesis that make explicit that humanity can never return to that state while on earth?

So you want America to be Eden? That’s what passes for rational political thought over at your place huh? Or maybe you realized (or understood all along) that any age for which you were nostalgic had as many (and often more) problems, both social and moral, as we have today. You’re either deluded or deceitful.

If you’re not going to treat with us in good faith then please spare us the description of your hyperbolic psychic wounds when you are treated in kind.

GoatBoy, thanks for not resorting to slander in the above post. Either you are not the same person as the one who has openly begun to engage in slander in a cowardly, desperate effort to discredit me, or you are two people in one. No, we cannot return to a literal, physical Garden of Eden, but through the process of redemption, we all get a second chance. By the blood of Jesus, we are able to be looked upon as creatures who have never sinned.

That is the worst dodge I’ve ever seen. Your Core Conservative Values aren’t even American. Constitution be damned, the only measure of our nations success and morality is whether every citizen has yet been washed in the blood? Your wish for the eradication of liberalism from the planet (Jesus sure did seem interested in the poor and social justice, judging by the volume of his remarks on the topics, BTW) and your hoping for all we decadent hedonistic liberals to suffer the torments of the damned for our apostacy? Not very Christlike. Dr. MGD.

But quite a bit like Paul. And Muhammed, for that matter.

You’re right, GoatBoy, I’m not very Christ-like. That’s why I need Christ. In Christ’s eyes, its as if I am holy, its as if I’ve never sinned, when I know that even my righteousness is what the Bible refers to as “filthy rags.” Thanks for the compliment concerning Paul, but I’m afraid I don’t even come close to being as fervent in my Christian service as the Apostle.

“That is the worst dodge I’ve ever seen.”

Well, you obviously never set your eyes on the first vehicle I owned as a poor, struggling college student.

“Your Core Conservative Values aren’t even American.”

I’m sorry, GoatBoy, but the story of Adam and Eve is as American as apple pie and baseball. True, it is not ours exclusively, but it certainly has been collosal in its impact on American culture.

“Constitution be damned, the only measure of our nations success and morality is whether every citizen has yet been washed in the blood?”

I love and have great respect for the constitution, and everything it represents, but the only way for us to perfectly adhere to the extremely high ideals of conservatism is through a divine encounter involving a miraculous act of redemption.

My statement about wiping out all vestiges of liberalism from the planet, as I’ve noted before, was a tongue-in-cheek statement, but in the process, I may have put my foot in my mouth. If any of you out there are offended by that comment, I sincerely apologize. I’ll agree that Jesus stood up for some causes that many on the left at least give lip services to (some admittedly go well beyond lip service), and I don’t believe in throwing out the baby with the bathwater, or condemning liberals, for lifestyles that, in many cases, may be morally superior to that of my own.

I suggest we take the best of conservatism, and the best of liberalism, abandon the divisive rhetoric, and try to make this a better world.

Great idea.

You first.

OK, I’m going to start by forming a committee to elect Bono for president in ’12 (’08 is a little early since we need to change a law first). He embodies the best values of both liberalism and conservatism. He will build bridges between conservattives and liberals. Admittedly, Bush wasn’t able to accomplish the uniter-not-a-divider goal, noble though his intentions may have been. Does anyone want to join my committee?

You know you did have a choice in fall of ’04 to vote for either a dependably church-going Christian and a man who is not only a member of no church but also effectively never attends services. Wonder which one you voted for…

And this:
I love and have great respect for the constitution, and everything it represents, but the only way for us to perfectly adhere to the extremely high ideals of conservatism is through a divine encounter involving a miraculous act of redemption.
is one of the most unAmerican things I’ve ever heard. What you want for your country is for everyone in it to either think just like your or at least be compelled to act like they do. Many of us have such wishes for the world. When we’re 15.

Thank you very much for engaging in this conversation for so long. It has allowed me to ascertain for certain whether you are an irredeemable troll who will say anything at all to keep those treating with you in good faith on the hook or whether you are possessed of an intellect so juvenile as to assume your locally popular worldview is universally true.

Either way you are a font of unpatriotic and unAmerican sentiment. Whether or not you actually believe the things you say, what you advocate is moving the nation away from anything for which it ever once stood.

And which red letters reveal Christ’s plan for dominion over worldly governments this side of the Rapture? You see a benefit in more born-again in the country? Work on it from your church, not from the state house.

(I have yet to see the humor in wishing we all catch communicable diseases and perish because we differ from you politically. I’m sure once that joke is deconstructed we’ll all shoot communion wine out of our noses. Do you realize how much of a weenie you make of yourself when you backtrack every time you’re called on this eliminationism? You’ll do anything at all to avoid the perception of hate coming from your hateful rhetoric. everything, that is, except refraining from postin it in the first place. Real sincerity there.)

Nice try, doc, but no-one here’s bying your backpedalling rationales. Seek help. And find a different psychologist, the one you’re going to seems to be a quack.

I think whoever it was that told Bruce he could sing was a mean ol’ liberal playing a nasty trick on the proud conservative.

Almost as nasty as pulling the plug on somebody else’s set because Bruce’s car had been broken into. Almost.

In Escape from Freedom, Eric Fromm (1941) proposed that loyalty to charismatic leaders results from a defensive need to feel a part of a larger whole, and surrendering one’s freedom to a larger-than-life leader can serve as a source of self-worth and meaning in life. Ernest Becker (The Denial of Death, 1973) posited that when mainstream worldviews are not serving people’s need for psychological security, concerns about mortality impel people to devote their psychological resources to following charismatic leaders who bolster their self worth by making them feel that they are valued participants in a great mission to heroically triumph over evil.

Wow, GoatBoy! Some exceptional writing from you in this thread. Kudos, indeed. Or, even a Take 5 bar, if that’s more your style!
That said, I have spotted an opportunity for a cheap insult and, in spite of the fact that taking it will result in whines of “Meanie liberal! Ad hominem attack!,” or similar, I can’t resist Fisking Doc LettuceEntertainYou a bit. So, to everyone else, sorry. Ladies and l4m3s, Doc Quizmo’s:

Me, myself and I are scheduled for a group therapy session.

Look, everyone! They’ve cast the New Three Stooges! But, which one is Larry?

Dr. IBS is a neglectful chickenshit. Just gonna walk away while someone’s still talking to you, huh? So much for polite discourse finding a common ground.

/harrumph