Complaint Dep’t, How May We. . .Oh, Hi Mike.

Mike Adams, Townhall.com:
Get Back in the Kitchen

  • This will get the feminists: Woo, it’s a Swiftian world of way-out satire in which conservatives take offense and complain.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Hanx: Righteous Bubba


Seb adds – Bonus Shorter Mike
:

Yes, sometimes my columns are sexist, but you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

 

Comments: 121

 
 
 

He’s just pointing out the intolerance of liberals when they complain about him teaching the One True Gospel of Jesus Christ to his criminology class.

 
 

You’ll forgive me if I don’t read the original. Judge Dredd is on SciFi!

 
 

Oh, and he hates the gays too — but they’re criminals, after all.

 
 

It is sad that a college student would lack the maturity needed to hear someone say “I’m an outspoken Christian professor” without having an emotional breakdown.

It is even sadder that a college professor would be driven to such extremes of bitchy whining by a college student. And to imagine that roughly 90% of his female students are “feminists”.

Actually, he’s probably right about that last bit.

 
 

Maybe Mike wants women to get back in the kitchen because he really, really doesn’t want them in his bedroom.

 
 

It is sad that a college student professor would lack the maturity needed to hear someone say “I’m an outspoken Christian professor feminist” without having an emotional breakdown.

Indeed.

 
 

Maybe Mike wants women to get back in the kitchen because he really, really doesn’t want them in his bedroom.

It probably has never come up.

 
thetragicsongwildfire
 

Sometimes I give Adams a pass just because I’m sure it’s difficult to act out in the Criminal Justice Dept. at UNC-W. Adams isn’t your usual CJ staff member–the guy writes for fun and he likes to talk more than, I dunno, he likes sports. I suspect he seldom drinks and shots at the same time and, hey, who likes a spoil-sport like that? He works with CJ professionals, guys who work hard and party hard. Adams wears briefs. If you want to tangle with Feminists, it’s doable but it’s not worth dicking around with law suits and shit. Guy acts like a lawyer or something.

But he doesn’t deserve a pass. He signed up for CJ and, clearly, he knew that UNC-Wilmington is about beaches and nepotism when he applied for the job. But he’s such a geek that the CJ Dept. is probably proud to have him since, well, he’s publishing a lot and that helps with funding and accreditation and shit.

 
 

Apparently the genius of this letter is its mad-lib quality. The current version on the guy’s website is anti-marriage. I wonder how he’ll update itnext semester? “Work-study students, take note … I oppose work-study for obvious religious reasons”…

 
 

The man is a heretic. Criminal justice? Isn’t GAWD supposed to take care of all of that?

 
 

If I were not an adult, I would argue that it’s hate speech.

Simply implying such things is much more grown up.

 
 

He really doesn’t see the difference between a professor imposing his views on a class & a student expressing her views in that class? But that’s only because he wouldn’t know satire (or comedy) if it tore a chunk from his pasty ass & used it for a seat cushion. (Not really sure what that means, but I can’t sit here agonizing all night. Or can I?)

Does he not have an attorney to advise him to keep his hands in their usual spot (his pants) & away from the keyboard? Or is his CJ lecturing experience enough to convince him he doesn’t have a fool for a client?

And from the man hisse’f:

Nor is it surprising that feminists express outrage at satire more often than Christians express outrage at real persecution. That is because most feminists love their ideology more than most Christians love Christ. And that’s the saddest thing of all.

Feminists: Bitches who won’t sleep w/ him. (Note to Professor: You want to use your prestigious position as a lecturer at a third-rate teacher’s college to get barely legal poon, try a field like English or Philosophy. Loser wanna-bes who can’t parlay their degree in CJ into a job on the force, & have to settle [bitterly] for teaching other wanna-bes how to be pigs just can’t charm co-eds like the sensitive, arty types.)

(Most) Christians: Sad fucking losers not as dedicated to terrorizing the world in the name of their Savior as Mike is.

Also: “Real persecution?” I’d be very, very happy to show this closet case some “persecution.” It’ll be “real” alright, you creep.

 
 

“Persecution” = “Those mean liberals won’t let us set up a theocracy!”

 
 

well, he’s publishing a lot

Does this jackanapes ever publish any, um, what’s the word, research? If he’s getting rewarded for productivity for writing for ToadHall, I’m’a hafta print out all my pointless blog comments and stick ’em in my tenure file.

 
 

On second thought, I wonder if Mike Sadman has been testing out the applicability of vintage-2002 internet trolling techniques on classroom pedagogy. Maybe his whole existence is funded by DARPA.

 
 

It’s people like this guy that makes me wonder what we can do to make the tenure system less friendly to ideologically pigheaded people like him. I’ll say this — he sure as hell doesn’t belong in any public school of any sort. And I have a feeling his concept of “criminal” is a bit IOKIYAX (…you’re a Christian).

 
 

It’s people like this guy that makes me wonder what we can do to make the tenure system less friendly to ideologically pigheaded people like him. I’ll say this — he sure as hell doesn’t belong in any public school of any sort.

That would sort of defeat the intent and purpose of academic freedom. For all I know, you are an idiot who kicks cats.

 
 

He really doesn’t see the difference between a professor imposing his views on a class & a student expressing her views in that class?

Good distinction. Because the professor hands out grades and decides who passes and who fails the class, there is an asymmetry akin to sexual harassment between a boss and an underling.

He’s a fucking whiner.

 
 

Nor is it surprising that feminists express outrage at satire passive aggressive self-martyr-baiting-“I’m-insecure-about-my-own-beliefs-so-I’ll-display-my-faith-chevrons-as-if-it-reinforced-their-veracity” off-hand-I-love-you-because-your-going-to-hell-unlike-me-why-are-you-mad-I-said-I-love-you screeds more often than Christians express outrage at real persecution O-mah-gOD-he-just-insulted-gOD-I-should-act-outraged-until-gOd-shows-up-to-defend-his-honor-I-got-yo-back-YHWY. That is because most feminists love their ideology more than most Christians love read Christ. And that’s the saddest thing of all.

fixed

Is it the saddest thing of all? What if those people truly were to suffer horrible pain for eternity while some universe creator sat and watched because they didn’t believe in his existence. That would be the saddest. To bad it’s a shittily-written (?) story with a heavy-handed-my-dickgod-is-bigger-than-yours vibe that only a person who is consumed with fear and pride would cull out their basic logic from their reasoning and believe it.

And if you’re still sad here’s a video of an RC plane with cameras flying by a tornado.

 
 

What do you get when you you mix gasoline, rc planes,digital cameras, oxford comas, and bad-ass storms?

My pants around my ankles that’s what.

 
 

er commas

 
redstate redneck
 

Cain’t take it when th’ tables’r turned, can ye?

I’m-a just hee hawin’ atcha, dumb thump libruls. Thanks fer th’ innertainment.

 
Danny Mason Keener
 

Christians believe Christ dangled from the cross and did very little kvetching (apart from the dramatic Father why have You forsaken me?), but a simple letter of complaint by an “arrogant student” to a “Marxist department head” is enough to fuel endless gnashing of their teeth and beating of their chest. Way to not even try to imitate Christ, Mikey. Remember, sport, when you suffer in His name you store up awesome treasures in heaven. I’ll bet every complaint letter from an arrogant Marxist student is worth, like, a silver plate or a pair of classy cuff links up in heaven.

 
Judas Peckerwood
 

“Nothing short of a bullet in the head will keep me from professing my Christian beliefs. And most anti-Christian bigots don’t own guns.”

I’d be willing to bet that a swift(ian) kick in the nuts would do the trick. And most of us DO have feet.

 
 

The main loop of Fundie Wingnut Crazy: If people like what you’re doing, its because GAWD is blessing you. If people don’t like what you’re doing, its because they are persecuting you for loving GAWD so much.

 
 

“Hopefully, by now, most of you realize you are reading political satire.”

When to have to add that so readers of Clownhall are 100% in on the action, you know you’ve written truly successful satire.

You know, like how the Onion always has “just kidding” at the bottom of each and every article.

 
 

The above should read “When you have to add…”

Not “to.”

I need to go to bed. I am curious, though. Does Mike mention any High-5 emails he got from wingnuts who somehow missed his brilliant satire? I stopped reading and started laughing at the quoted portion in my first post.

 
 

So, following that link to Clownhall did anyone else get the ad for subscriptions to Townhall featuring a FREE copy of Glen Beck’s Common Sense?

I mean, they’re giving it away already. And it’s only been out for about a week — since June 16, 2009, according to Amazon.

.

.

 
Ayatollah Hominy
 

Hey, wasn’t the Holocaust Museum shooter an anti-Christian bigot? I mean, you know, not as much as he was an anti-Semitic bigot, but still.

But yeah, aside from that woman who shot Andy Warhol, there are not a lot of feminists trying to kill people in support of their belief system.

 
Ayatollah Hominy
 

Wow, they’re giving out Glen Beck’s Common Sense? Are they also giving out Jonah Goldberg’s jawline and Ben Shapiro’s manliness?

 
 

And Ann Coulter’s vagina’s ambrosialness?

 
 

You know, like how the Onion always has “just kidding” at the bottom of each and every article.

The Weekly Standard used to have (still may, I haven’t picked up a copy on over a decade, yay me) a backpage ‘humor’ feature featuring some hilarious fake news story or advertisement or some shit. And yes, the page was headlined “Humor” (or was it “Satire”?) in big black letters. Know your audience, I guess…

Also, this clownshoe sounds like the guy who treats getting the yearly memo from HR outlining sexual harassment policies as an injustice on the scale of the Holocaust or Slavery or the cancellation of “Cop Rock”. Every school and workplace has one.

 
 

Hopefully, by now, most of you realize you are reading political satire.

Oh, is that what it is? It sounded similar to things that get mocked around here all the time, so I thought it was just typical right-wing drivel. My bad.

 
 

did anyone else get the ad for subscriptions to Townhall

Everybody on the planet got that. The double plus extra-obtrusive pop-up, soon to send the “new media” to the same toilet down which the dead-tree media just flushed itself.

 
 

And where does Major Fucking Garrett of Fox Fucking News get off asking Obama “What took you so long?”

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2009/06/23/fncs_garrett_asks_obama_what_took_so_long_to_be_concerned.html

Garrett hardly ever paused to take George W. Bush’s cock out of his mouth for the eight years that the idiot savant was in the white house, and now he’s asking pseudo-tough questions about what a President should or should not say? Fuck you, asshole.

 
 

The double plus extra-obtrusive pop-up, soon to send the “new media” to the same toilet down which the dead-tree media just flushed itself.

Seeing Glenn Beck’s face rearing its ugly…er, face like that was frightening.

 
 

Jesus fucking Rock-‘Em-Sock-‘Em Robots-playin’ Christ on a unicycle. Are they setting up the origin of human rights to be their new fucking bugbear? Perhaps some fossilized human rights have been found in the Cambrian layers, thus proving that they were deposited there by the Flood (well, ‘proving’ if you just ignore this piece of evidence, oh and this one, oh and don’t listen to that guy, he’s just a scientist, and don’t look over there, oh and don’t read that book, or that one, oh and…).

Well, I suppose if it wasn’t Jesus that gave us our rights it must have been Martin Luther King and the UN and other icky people like that. And that upsets their little wingnut proto-brains, so it can’t possibly be true.

 
 

Since it’s really hard to tell the difference between wingnut wishes and wingnut sarcasm, the satire bit didn’t work. What was his point?

 
 

“Since it’s really hard to tell the difference between wingnut wishes and wingnut sarcasm, the satire bit didn’t work. ”

Speaking of not knowing which way the wingnut blows, here are actual headlines from Politico’s homepage.

Obama toughens stance on Iran
Did Obama work with Huff Post?
Clinton toils in the shadows
Obama plays Goldilocks on Iran
Critics: Dodd stretched too thin

But by far the best is this piece of pure wingnut gold from Mike “haters on the left” Allen, auditioning for an opening at Fox Nation, no doubt.

A couple of surprising words were missing from President Barack Obama’s 55-minute news conference on Wednesday: “Iraq” — and “Afghanistan.”

Also MIA: “Korea,” “Pakistan,” “soldiers,” “surge” and “war” — as well as the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines.

The omissions were partly a result of the short attention span of the press, which did not ask about those topics after the president did not mention them in his opening statement.

But the silence on those subjects also provides a striking illustration of one of the singular differences between Obama and his predecessor.

 
 

Fine print in the user agreement:

Inalienable Rights are actually granted by Creator (& not seized at the point of a gun by righteous patriots). Inalienable Rights are revocable at any moment if you don’t surrender said Inalienable Rights to any of Creator’s numerous self-appointed representatives on Planet Earth, at any time any of them may decide their rights are more important than yours.

Click agree or else.

 
 

Was this headline a reference to the movie THE ROOM?

If so, I salute you.

If not, I suggest checking it out.

 
 

As in Hubert Selby Jr.’s The Room? Good book, if you like Kafka. And who doesn’t, damnit?

 
 

He wrote the exact same piece a day earlier, addressed to GLBT students.
And I mean the exact same column. All he did was replace “gilbert” (FUNNY WORD) with “feminist”, and make a handful of other obvious changes. The rest is word for word.
Do you think he silently rages against the fact he can’t now produce a “Dear Jews” version, or will he just make himself an utter hypocrite and next bitch about Muslims?

 
 

That all depends on whether one of the chosen people has offered an opinion contrary to the prof’s in class, or filed a complaint against him.

 
 

Also:

“Dear Jews, please grow your [redacted, like, just in case] back!!”

 
 

Looking forward to the sequel, entitled “Sit Down, Boy!”

 
 

a different brad:
I had to look and-you spoke the truth. Word for word. Exact same column. How the fuck does he get “GILBERTS” out of “Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered”? That makes no sense at all.
I knew he was a bigoted misogynist homophobic assswipe, but I thought, at the very least, he could read.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Get Back in Mah Belly
by Mike Adams

Here’s something y’all might or might not understand – people who disagree with me are reprehensible emasculating phagg0rtz that need to shut up and learn their place – in mah belly. For example, when teh real haters, with their hatorade and after-hate mints, watching re-runs of Hate is He-nough hear me say that I am a Christian professor and therefore Darwin was wrong – well two things happen. Firstly, they are such shrinking violets, such panty-waisted little twerps, that they take offense. Secondly, they are such audaciously uppity little bastards that they complain. Emasculating fey-golas I tells ya. Also, the chairwoman who thinks that the “feelings” of students matters in the least, well she’s a fucking commie bitch. Comm-you-fucking-nist.

Another thing you might or might not have noticed is that a student making a statement in class is exactly the same as when the professor makes a statement in class. Just because the totally random bullshit that spews from my glorious bile-hole is actually test-able material that those ungrateful fuckers have to regurgitate in order to pass – well that has nothing to do with the importance of my making assertions of that there’s no way we descended from monkeys. Except maybe the darkies. Fuckers.

Finally, the delusional appeasers of criminals way worse than terrorists might think that I’m complaining. You might think that “bitch” ain’t a noun applicable to all them hooter-having honeys and hoes – but rather, a verb describing my current actions. Well, fuck you – and shut up. That’s why. And get in mah belly. Besides, you might or might not have noticed that only my beliefs have any morally authori-tah. It’s true, and if you disagree than your a ball-chopping-fudge-packing-crypto-marxist – and also wrong wrong wrong.

For example, guns. You need guns if you wanna shut me up – I just need the super-fucking-keen edge of mah brilliance and my witty-witty-wit-wit. My words are mightier than the pen, which is mightier than the sword, which is mightier than whatever weak-ass shit you’re trying to bring into mah howse. That’s dedication, and spirit, and faith. I mean what I say, if you know what I mean. Feminists and Teh Ghey and that cunt that that thinks that this complaint has any merit – they’re faking it, just like all them cheap hookers I… um… er… Well anyways, who can fucking believe that women think they might be oppressed, or that gays think they might be denied rights that us totally 100% straight white male evangelicals enjoy everyday. Fucking ludicrous. If there’s any victims of discrimination, of persecution, it is what that giant among men (Jonah Goldberg) calls teh jew of liberal fascism.

Now all of you fuckers gotta STFU and let your betters show you the way to live in a totally non-judgmental and totally superior way. Either that, or get the fuck in mah belly.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Mark Sanford was in Buenos Aires. Huh?

 
 

It’s your birthday? Have an extra tater tot on me, kid.

 
 

I like my women in the kitchen!

Especially when they help me cook…

 
 

Maybe Mike wants women to get back in the kitchen because he really, really doesn’t want them in his bedroom.

It probably has never come up.

I see what you do here…

 
 

Professor, can I just write, “Because God created it that way,” as the answer to all the essay questions on the exam?

 
 

The sole reason for publishing Glenn Beck (and the rest of those weirdos) is so that a subsidiary can “buy” (in bulk) enough copies to put them on a bestseller list and then they can give “bestsellers” away with magazine subscriptions.

 
 

How the fuck does he get “GILBERTS” out of “Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered”? That makes no sense at all.

Listen, give him a bit of credit. He could have said “Giblets.”

 
 

And I mean the exact same column. All he did was replace “gilbert” (FUNNY WORD) with “feminist”, and make a handful of other obvious changes. The rest is word for word.

Gilberts?

“With Dust-like tread,
Upon our prey we steal,
On proxies dread,
Our cautious way we feel.
No trace at all,
We lurk without a word –
The parallels
Are growing quite absurd…

Come, friends, who surf the /b/,
Truce to navigation, take another station!
Let’s vary troller-ee,
By exposing plagiar-ee!”

 
Old Man Muffaroo [née Kip W]
 

“Galbots”?

 
a concerned citizen
 

A couple of surprising words were missing from President Barack Obama’s 55-minute news conference on Wednesday: “Iraq” — and “Afghanistan.”

Also MIA: “Korea,” “Pakistan,” “soldiers,” “surge” and “war” — as well as the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines.

Shorter Barack Obama: We care a lot. About the Army Navy Air Force and Marines. We care a lot about the NY SF and LAPD. We care a lot about you people. We care a lot about your guns. We care a lot about the wars we’re fighting; gee that looks fun.

It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

After reading only two paragraphs of this letter, which was posted in its entirety on http://www.DrAdams.org, they began to fire off letters to the UNC-Wilmington administration demanding that I be fired.

This is exactly what Mike Adams was talking about. Stupid wommyn think they kan rede – but reednig komprehanshuns are very low in the weaker sex. If only the feminists had reeded all teh letter HAHAHA feminists R stoopit.

The fact that the letter in question does not appear at all on http://www.dr-I-am-a-fucking-nitwit.org is central to his point.

 
Galt's Gulch Water Board
 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Incidentally, Mike Adams is still complaining. Here’s my understanding of the timeline:

Adams pushes creationism in class. Student writes letter to “Marxist” chairwoman. She feels that the letter should result in a formal complaint. It doesn’t.

Adams then writes “satire” showing the “hypocrisy” of the straight-white-male opressing society that is keeping the jew of liberal fascism down. The piece is stupefyingly bad, but that’s okay because Mike Adams has a point. That point is that he, as a straight white male, is being opressed by the existence someone taking offense to him.

Unsurprisingly, more people take offense to his piece (of shit). This is where I believe the Clownhall screeds come from.

Monday, he puts the text of his garbage letter to the “GILBERTS” up, hateful language intact. Then he says that it’s the LGBT community that’s got the thin skin.

Tuesday, he changes the garbage letter to target feminists. He very easily comes up with more hate-spew to put in his “satire” but manages to fuck up his point completely, since the big reveal is no longer true. So, he’s now claiming that feminists are super-sensitive take-offense-at-anything bitches because they took offense to a letter he hadn’t even written yet.

Which brings us to this fateful day. When he points out that

…it was a radical feminist administrator who sided with them (pedophiles and people who like mutilating children’s genitals, other than Bush Administration officials).

But just remember – Mike Adams is a stoic and staunch hero of the Christian(ist) movement and everybody else needs to take a fucking chill pill.

 
 

(pedophiles and people who like mutilating children’s genitals, other than Bush Administration officials).

Question:

Is Dr Mike saying here that:

a) The Bush Administration was pedophilic?

b) the Bush Administration was mutilating children’s genitalia?

c) the Bush Administration was a bunch of children?

d) all of the above?

 
 

From Galt’s link:

To a straight man, the notion of walking around as a coiffed, waxed, nail-polish wearing, lispy dude is uproariously absurd.

Says the man with a suspicious lack of chin hair and perfectly coiffed ‘do….

 
 

If this guy despises his boss, his students, his fellow faculty members and, as far as I can tell, everything about the academic environment so much, why doesn’t he quit?

Oh, yeah. Tenure. A boss in private industry would put up with his whining for about a week.

 
 

It probably has never come up.

That’s what SHE said.

feminists express outrage at satire more often than Christians express outrage at real persecution

He says in the middle of a whole article complaining of how those damn liberal atheistical feminazis done him wrong for merely proselytizing in class. Totally unlike his every other column.

 
 

Also, satire != kidding on the square.

 
The hon. mr. snugglepuss
 

FOTC for the win!

 
 

Another shorter:

By writing something that the average person would reasonably expect me to say about feminists, I am clearly being satirical. If you don’t get that, you are a dumb librul smelly feminazi bitch with a butch haircut and hairy armpits. Also, I’m a good tolerant loving oppressed Christian. Also.

 
 

Yes, sometimes my columns are sexist, but you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

High five, rhymnocerous!

 
 

I can’t believe that a public university has the gall to impose separation between church and state and fail to violate the establishment clause!

(That was satire. In case you didn’t know. Also.)

 
 

Dear Brad, I wish to complain in the strongest terms about the recent post published by ThatGirl, in which she, a liberal atheistic feminazi, posits that public universities are not bound by the Constitution.

Also, she misuses the “also” trope, which is clearly a dying meme. Also.

 
 

Does anyone know what kind of brothels Buenos Aires has?

I believe there’s one called “The Garden of Fucking Paths”.

 
 

Does anyone know what kind of brothels Buenos Aires has?

The kind that accept stimulus packages.

 
 

I have to admit, I find the existence of Mike Adams to be a great comfort. If *he* can get a job in the academy, than surely I can.

 
 

Hopefully, by now, most of you realize you are reading political satire.

Epic fail. Heavens to Murgatroyd, what a tool.

 
 

I believe there’s one called “The Garden of Fucking Paths”.

“Our whore-heys don’t bore-heys!”

 
 

Feminism was invented so unattractive women and butch lesbos could have access to mainstream society.

 
 

OT, Michael Gerson got a cute little dog. Practically overnight, it has convinced him that he’s been wrong about dogs his entire life.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/23/AR2009062303115.html

Is it too much to hope that Gerson’s next life-changing acquisition will be a cute little conscience?

 
 

You know, I have no reason to like Mark Sanford, but I also have no reason to think he was fucking some sleek Argentinian boy, either.

 
 

Is that why you drink so much, Dr Change? Because alcohol was invented so fat, ugly, lazy men could get laid access to mainstream society?

 
 

Djur, it would be irresponsible not to speculate, wouldn’t you agree?

 
 

Is it too much to hope that Gerson’s next life-changing acquisition will be a cute little conscience?

*** HEY-OH ***

 
 

Lessons from Mark Sanford’s Argentina hike:

http://www.redstate.com/erick/2009/06/23/the-lessons-of-mark-sanfords-hike/#postcomment

I can’t believe you’re not going to tap that!

 
 

I have no reason to like Mark Sanford, but I also have no reason to think he was fucking some sleek Argentinian boy, either.

Aha! But…you can’t say he didn’t either!

 
 

You know, I have no reason to like Mark Sanford, but I also have no reason to think he was fucking some sleek Argentinian boy, either.

There were a lot of options.

 
 

Lessons from Mark Sanford’s Argentina hike:

That’s practically begging for a “Bookmark this, libs!”…

 
 

actor, I think it’s completely terrible that you would, with absolutely no evidence, suggest that Mark Sanford spent the weekend in Argentina committing some kind of debaucheries, perhaps with three dusky young men, two wet suits, a buttplug shaped like the bust of Tiberius, two gallons of salmon mousse, the complete Gary Glitter discography, and a live nutria.

 
 

I don’t drink. Getting drunk is for libs who do stuff like blame “the rich” and “heterosexism” and “racism” for their own pathetic livesan and ask Daddy Government to send them a bailout.

 
 

actor, I think it’s completely terrible that you would, with absolutely no evidence, suggest that Mark Sanford spent the weekend in Argentina committing some kind of debaucheries, perhaps with three dusky young men, two wet suits, a buttplug shaped like the bust of Tiberius, two gallons of salmon mousse, the complete Gary Glitter discography, and a live nutria.

I am SO offended! I have plenty of evidence. In fact, I read about it extensively on the Intertubes!

 
 

I don’t drink.

Sharight. And Jesus was a Muslim.

 
 

??? A dad doesn’t want “his little girl” to go to the restroom were a transgendered goes ?

What college has “little girls” going to the restroom all the time ? I know Mike’s emotional level is of a kindergartner but most colleges I’ve seen have adult young women.

And that schmeal about transgenders violence ? Name one. Ever heard of Dr Tiller ? Try again Mike, is fundie Christians who are violent!

 
 

Getting drunk is for libs

I’ll drink to that. Better to be liberal and enjoy some libations than to be a teetotaler with a stick up his ass.

 
 

I’ve never been in a ladies room without stalls, either, so unless those ooga-booga crazy skeery people get off on hearing folks pee or POOP, there’s not much going down in toilet town. Or maybe pops thinks it’s contagious?

 
 

And that schmeal about transgenders violence ?

Someone thought Silence of the Lambs was a documentary, apparently.

 
 

@ Mike:

I have to admit, I find the existence of Mike Adams to be a great comfort. If *he* can get a job in the academy, than surely I can.

Not unless you have the right Daddy.

 
 

I’ve never been in a ladies room without stalls, either, so unless those ooga-booga crazy skeery people get off on hearing folks pee or POOP, there’s not much going down in toilet town.

My times in the ladies room have been somewhat more exciting.

 
 

Swirlies for RB!

 
 

Mike Adams, he funny.

DrAdams.org is now sending “I Hate Mike Adams” bumper stickers to those making $5 (or more) donations. For that purpose we have a PayPal account and a Post Office address (PO Box 319, Wrightsville Beach, NC 28480).

Michael Moore is fat. Also.

Speaking Engagements:
Dr. Adams is available to speak on your campus. He charges less than Michael Moore and bathes before every speech. To book him, contact YAF for help. Warning: proceeds will be used to purchase firearms.

I bet people in Wilmington are proud paying good money to have this guy teach their kids.

 
 

Feminism was invented so unattractive women and butch lesbos could have access to mainstream society.

You try walking through the mall in a Troof costume and see what kind of looks you get!

 
 

“I don’t drink.”

Y’know who else doesn’t drink?

islamofascists!!!1!one

 
 

Not unless you have the right Daddy.

Whoa, did I miss something? He’s another wingnut nepotism hire?

Who is Mike Adams’ daddy? John Quincy? Don? Gomez?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I do not for one second believe that the head of a CJ department at a state school in the South is a Marxist.

 
 

Righteous Bubba @19:21 + tigrismus @19:26 = MASSIVE DOUBLE LITERARY PUN WIN
[for anyone who didn’t get it for a minute, like me – say Jorge Luis Borges’s name out loud in Spanish]

 
 

I’ve never been in a ladies room without stalls

Leading a sheltered life, eh?

 
 

Dear Brad, I wish to complain in the strongest terms about the recent post published by ThatGirl, in which she, a liberal atheistic feminazi, posits that public universities are not bound by the Constitution.

Also, she misuses the “also” trope, which is clearly a dying meme. Also.

And such as.

 
 

So has Erick commented on Sanford’s presser?

 
 

Leading a sheltered life, eh?

I guess so. Even the coed bathrooms I’ve been in had stalls. I still don’t think I’m going to worry about it until someone starts coming toward me waving a toaster and muttering “scuse mah fingahs,” though. Then I’ll give RB another swirly for scaring me like that.

 
 

WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHRISTIANS?//??/?

The whole “Help, I’m bein’ oppressed” thing was a lot funnier when Monty Python did it – & when you have to signify that you’re being satirical, it may be an indication that the proverbial shark is far below you & receding rapidly, Fonzie.

Either your audience is so stupid that they need a PROTIP for what should be obvious, or your POV is so stupid that you have to explain every detail of it in a futile attempt to make sense. Or (as in this case) both.

I don’t drink.

Neither do I (much – maybe half a dozen times per annum) … but people this stupid make me wish I did. A lot. Daily.

 
 

“Nothing short of a bullet in the head will keep me from professing my Christian beliefs. And most anti-Christian bigots don’t own guns.”

True, but we’ve all got polo mallets, and we’re not afraid to use them.

 
 

Little fun fact about Wilmington

How The Only Coup D’Etat In U.S. History Unfolded

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93615391

 
 

believe there’s one called “The Garden of Fucking Paths”.

El Jardín de Senderos Jodidos?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

people who like mutilating children’s genitals

Could this be construed as antisemitism?

 
 

Tlön, Fuckbar, Orbis Tertius.

 
 

I can’t decide if “mirrors and copulation are abominable, because they increase the number or men” or “upward behind the onstreaming it mooned” would be the better catchphrase for a Tlönic cathouse.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Mike Adams author of Don que Ofay.

I always keep Borges in the loo, makes for good short reads.

 
 

The Sluttery in Babylon.

 
 

hes a college perfessor paid by taxpayer dollars? jeebus

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Wow, Flight of the Conchords in the post, Faith No More in the comments.

This is why I hang out here.

 
Anglican Church in North America
 

It is also sad that the administration failed to reprimand the narrow-minded Marxist who expressed disappointment that the student’s letter would not result in a formal complaint. This is unmitigated bigotry, plain and simple.

Did you hear??? The administration failed to reprimand someone! for expressing disappointment! That nothing was ultimately done!
About a letter that egregiously disapproved of the things that Mike said!

And I thought this was a FREE COUNTRY!!!???

 
 

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