Obama. Bad! Bush. Good!! Yaaaay Powerline!!!

Shorter Deacon and Shorter Johnny Assrocket:

power_line_urinals
ABOVE (left to right): Left urinal, middle urinal and right urinal

Paul “Shemp” Mirengoff, Powerline
Credit Where Credit Isn’t Due

  • Intelligence sources relied on to corroborate Obama’s position are obviously partisan hacks and cheerleaders of the Obama fan club. Intelligence sources that Bush relied on to corroborate his beliefs, however, were unbiased career intelligence officers telling the absolute truth.

John “Moe” Hineyraker, Powerline
Credit Where Credit Isn’t Due

  • Had it not been for George Bush’s invasion of Iraq, the dissident Iranians would never have been emboldened enough to demonstrate against the stolen election.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 290

 
 
 

Had it not been for George Bush’s invasion of Iraq, the dissident Iranians would never have been emboldened enough to demonstrate against the stolen election.

Had it not been for Bush’s invasion, moderate President Khatami would likely still be in office, since the Ruling Council took Bush’s “Axis of Evil” threat seriously enough to promote a hard-line Ahmadinejad in the election…

 
 

actor beat me to it. Damn you!!! (shaking fist) Damn you to HELL!!!

 
 

psst, TinTin, duplicate linkies…

 
 

From the goofy grins on the Powerliner’s faces, it’s clear that they just ate the urinal mints.

 
 

Damn you to HELL!!!

Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste…

 
 

psst, TinTin, duplicate linkies…

They are supposed to be duplicate links, because the second shorter refers to John’s “update” to Paul’s original post.

 
 

Ah, I missed the JOHN ADDS, part.

I thought it was part of the reading primer on Powerline.

“See John. See John Add. See John Poop His Panties.”

Sorry.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

JOHN A.D.D.’s

: It is rather ludicrous to suggest that anything Obama has done in the last five months has somehow generated an appetite for freedom in Iran.

Ludicrous he tells us

…Repeatedly, Obama seemed to imply that minor issues in the West are on a par with far more significant and deep-seated failures of Arab countries. The overall effect of the speech was more to give Muslims a warm feeling about their history and cultures than to shed an honest light on the reasons for current tensions between those nations and the West…

Did John have anything else to add?

It is not at all foolish, however, to suppose that President Bush’s belief that Arabs, like other peoples, deserve to be free and his policy of promoting democracy in Arab countries where possible, most notably in next-door Iraq, had a great deal to do with Iranians’ conviction that they, too, can hope to be free.

WTF?! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID SURGE-Y BULLSHIT. Bombs don’t make people vote dickwad. Hey you stupid fucking prick, answer this – since the elections of Friday, were there more violent deaths in Iran or Iraq? Fucking asshole.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

They do all look like they have minty fresh breath, I must say. This photo was obviously taken before they gagged on the cigarette butts.

 
 

OT but Ann “Babe” Huggett must be choking on her leopard print blouse today:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/06/16/fashion-world-honors-michelle-obamas-rise-icon/

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Seriously. I CAN NOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

This fucking asshole actually thinks that there is ANY-FUCKING-BODY that is looking at Iraq today and saying “Oh boy, lemme have some of that!” – let alone an entire country.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

President Bush’s belief that Arabs, like other peoples, deserve to be free and his policy of promoting democracy in Arab countries where possible, most notably in next-door Iraq, had a great deal to do with Iranians’ conviction that they, too, can hope to be free.

Did it also apply to non-Arab countries like Iran?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Oh but D-K, what about all those painted schools and sweet US funded reconstruction?
What about ’em?
No, really. What about ’em?

In the meantime, Iraqis face months of temperatures expected to be upward of 110 degrees, and in some areas of the country, no more than an hour of electricity a day.

It’s been SIX FUCKING YEARS.

 
 

In the meantime, Iraqis face months of temperatures expected to be upward of 110 degrees, and in some areas of the country, no more than an hour of electricity a day.

Clearly, this was the Coalition Provisional Authority’s response to the global climate crisis.

 
venerable quipster
 

This photo was obviously taken before they gagged on the cigarette butts.

Hey, I don’t pee in your ashtray…

 
The Root of All Evil
 

…Repeatedly, Obama seemed to imply that minor issues in the West are on a par with far more significant and deep-seated failures of Arab countries. The overall effect of the speech was more to give Muslims a warm feeling about their history and cultures than to shed an honest light on the reasons for current tensions between those nations and the West…

Obviously, the solution is for Obama to sort these nations into a conglomerate, maybe an axis or something, and start calling those towelheads out. I foresee no repercussions from such an action. None at all.

 
 

The only problem with that picture is, wheareas these urinals help keep things tidy and clean, the ones above would, I suspect, be rapidly clogged with #2.

 
 

President Bush’s belief that Arabs, like other peoples, deserve to be free and his policy of promoting democracy

Again, I thought America was a republic, NOT a democracy. Why are we promoting democracy in teh Iraq and other Ayrab nations?

 
 

Tehrani kids are CRAZY for the taste of Marq Bar™!

 
 

It seems that the Doughy Pantload also weighed in the Iran: UR DOIN’ IT RONG! angle in the LA Times today. With predictably asinine “insight”.

 
 

That photoshop is teh awesome.

 
 

That photoshop is teh awesome.

Remind me sometime to tell you the story of the Shithouse Troll.

 
 

Research reveals that the clown’s-head urinal already. exists.
Personally I’d like one that turns from side to side like the clowns-heads at funfairs where you’re supposed to throw ping-pong balls into the mouth, but that’s why I’m banned from funfairs.

 
 

Research reveals that the clown’s-head urinal already. exists.

Now do I reveal my “research” to you? Huh?

 
 

Remind me sometime to tell you the story of the Shithouse Troll.

I don’t like to hear about such foul things. But enough about the trolls …

 
 

For some reason the notorious Eisenkröte comes to mind:

For it is indeed an Iron Toad, faithfully rendered, thousand-warted and some say faintly smiling, a foot long at its longest, lurking at the bottom of a rank shit-stained toilet and hooked up to the European Grid through a rheostat control rigged to deliver varying though not lethal surges of voltage and current. No one knows who sits behind the rheostat . . . But you just never know. Often enough to matter, the current will be there – piranha-raid and salmon-climb up the gold glittering fall of piss, your treacherous ladder of salts and acids, bringing you back into touch with Mother Ground . . .

 
 

Mirengoff’s post is priceless because he chides Ignatius for not doing any real “research” other than talking to “Obama boosters” in the intelligence community–and then the only citation Mirengoff offers throughout the entire post is to a different post at Powerline. In fact, it leads to another one of his own posts.

 
 

I don’t like to hear about such foul things. But enough about the trolls …

Funny thing about that…the Shithouse Troll pre-dated the intertoobs by quite a few years.

It’s all quite twisted and juvenile humor, which is why it would be such a hit round these parts.

 
 

So stop teasing. Tell us about the Shithouse Troll. Please.

 
 

I’m not very good at urinals, but I could spring for that one.

 
 

Pun 1: they are the icing on teh urinal cakes

Pun 2: they take the urinal cake

Pun 3: they mind their pees in queues.

 
 

Instead of urinal pucks, this place uses urinal fucks.

 
 

Translations of common Iranian protest chants you may have heard on youtube (since cable “news” is all about Palin’s statutory rape fantasies):

“Raye ma ro dozdeedeh ba raye ma poz meede” – “He’s stolen are vote and now he’s showing off with it”

“Ahmadiye goosale baz ham begoo footabale” – “Ahmadi you sheep, say again it’s the soccer”

“Ahmadi be hoosh bash ma melateem na obash” – “Ahmadi be aware we are the people not gangsters”

“Haleye nooro deede raye ma ro nadeede” – “He’s seen the holy light but not our vote”

“Do melyoon se melyoon dah melyoon ray nemeedeem be meeymoon” – “Two million three million ten million we don’t vote for the monkey”

“Khas-o-khashak tooyee doshmane een khak tooyee” – “You’re the dust and twigs, you’re the enemy of this people”

“Doktor boro doktor” – “Doctor go to the doctor”

 
 

‘our’ not ‘are’

 
 

Ok, the Saga of the Shithouse Troll:

It started with some late-night infomercial where some Australian guy was using some kitchen cooking gadget and kept picking up the food and saying “scuse my finGAHs,” which led the bunch of stoner girls watching to imagine someone crouching in a latrine toilet and reaching up to each and every visitor saying “scuse my finGAHs.” But how did he end up there?

Well, as it developed, the guy had been in ‘nam, and one day while on latrine duty, an enemy raid had wiped out everyone else in the camp…only he escaped, thanks to having been safely hiding in the latrine. Quite naturally this left him with some…issues. He was sent home shortly after that, and over the years seemed to have re-adjusted pretty well, until a fateful camping trip with his family. Having gone to the camp latrine, he emerged to find his entire family wiped out in a tragic camping incident (that’s my favorite part, because WTF kind of “camping accident” could that have been?) which quite naturally drove him completely over the edge into barking madness. He ran back to the camp latrine and has been hiding there ever since, greeting all campers who venture in with an upstretched hand and “scuse my finGAHs.”

Or maybe you just had to be there…

 
 

#

“That Girl said,

June 16, 2009 at 22:20

President Bush’s belief that Arabs, like other peoples, deserve to be free and his policy of promoting democracy…

Again, I thought America was a republic, NOT a democracy. Why are we promoting democracy in teh Iraq and other Ayrab nations?”

Well, since everyone saw how screwed up the Republic idea was after 2004 election, there was no market for it. No-one wanted that to happe nin their country. Unfortunately, Uncle Sam had to sell something to the Iraqis, so the guys in the marketing came up with the Democracy idea.

They though it was better then imperialism, which has historical luggage.

 
 

A disconnected thought concerning urinals… Do you suppose those little red rubber mats at the bottom of urinals that said “JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS” ever convinced anyone, really, to stop using? I mean, that is one weird concept. “Oh, wow, man, How true! Let me go flush this bag right now.” I think it might be more worthwhile to sell it as advertising space. You know. For toothpaste. Or Camel cigerettes…

I haven’t seen one of those in a while, but I swear I am not making this up.

 
 

Do you suppose those little red rubber mats at the bottom of urinals that said “JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS” ever convinced anyone, really, to stop using?

No shit? They seriously had things like that in urinals?

It would be a lot more amusing if they had pictures of naked women on them, which would cause all the users to piss themselves in the face.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

“Yeah, them Eye-Rain-ian Ay-rabs need the same treatment as we gave them goddanged Eye-Rack-ees!”

Honest to god, it’s nice to have a simple little shibboleth like that: all you have to hear is that somebody thinks the Iranians are Arabs, or that the Arabs are “antisemitic” and you can just stop listening. You know you’re in the realm of acute, suppurating ignorance.

Seriously, though, what would happen if you explained to one of these morans that “Iran” and “Aryan” are the same word? (Of course, so is “Eireann”.)

 
 

Do you suppose those little red rubber mats at the bottom of urinals that said “JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS” ever convinced anyone, really, to stop using?

No shit? They seriously had things like that in urinals?

I don’t remember. I was stoned.

 
 

Again, I thought America was a republic, NOT a democracy. Why are we promoting democracy in teh Iraq and other Ayrab nations?”

They’ve already got dictators and tyrants. Why would we need to promote Republicanism?

 
 

zeppo, I’ve seen them myself. Used to work someplace that had the anti–splash mats from whichever stupid co. used to put “JSNTD” on the mats. Haven’t seen any in a while, either, though. Maybe the company realized how stupid it was.

 
 

which would cause all the users to piss themselves in the face

Well, no. Mr. Happy doesn’t work that way. And that’s all I’m saying.

(Ick.)

 
 

I wonder what Jesus is whispering to George Bush these days….

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Do you suppose those little red rubber mats at the bottom of urinals that said “JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS” ever convinced anyone, really, to stop using?

They tend to remind one of any upcoming piss tests.

I wonder what Jesus is whispering to George Bush these days….

Clearl, it’s “scuse my finGAHs.”

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Forgot that “Y”… must’ve been stoned.

 
 

Scuse my finGAHs should become another internet tradition.

 
 

No shit? They seriously had things like that in urinals?

I remember the “Say No To Drugs” urinal mats. That was a few years back.

My first thought was “you clever capitalist bastard”. The War On (Some) Drugs makes politicians do very stupid things. I was thinking about getting a grant to print the slogan on rolling papers.

 
 

If this were RB’s blog, those heads would be an animated gif by now, turning from side to side.
Just saying.

 
 

I know it was an Onion article, but before it came out, I swear to God I actually saw Osama Bin Laden urinal cakes. In bar restrooms.

Our descendants will never believe how crazy we actually were.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

I was thinking about getting a grant to print the slogan on rolling papers.

Hee hee – great idea, gets the message right where the drug warriors would say it needs to go, and the stoners would get a helluva laugh out of it.

But since drug war sloganeering is too old to be cool and not old enough to be retro, these days I’d go with one of my favorite bits of Japanese almost-English.

 
 

If this were RB’s blog, those heads would be an animated gif by now, turning from side to side.
Just saying.

OMG sumo RUSH could be pooping moustaches.

 
 


Orange Tom said,

June 16, 2009 at 23:36

I wonder what Jesus is whispering to George Bush these days….

Ssshish 5pm somewhere in the world. *hic*

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Scuse my finGAHs should become another internet tradition.

UR IN MAH LATREENS, SCUZIN’ MAH FINGAHS!!!

 
 

Again, I thought America was a republic, NOT a democracy. Why are we promoting democracy in teh Iraq and other Ayrab nations?”

…Because, as the Neo-cons were so fond of pointing out: Third-world countries deserve second-rate freedom.

 
 

Can i hz try shorterening Hindraker?

The possibility of organised protests against electoral fraud could never have occurred to Iranians by themselves; they needed to be inspired by Bush’s message, when he accused the critics of his war of patronising the Iraqi people.

 
 

Over at Sadly, No!, the posters annotate every time they use the “Shorter (X)” convention, with a reference to
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

And people regularly flame them for being a pack of pedantic pillocks, because everyone is familiar with the Shorter convention and its origins.

Now they can feel vindicated.
Herr Doktor Bimler | 06.17.08 – 12:55 am |

I think we should all revel in our vindication (even if it’s a day early).

Cheers!

 
 

I read at Balloon Juice that
insisting on the Doctor thing outside of the context in which it applies can come off a wee bit pretentious.

 
Sir Windblown Dentist
 

I kn hz Shrtr Hind Rizzy:

I farted at breakfast this morning. It got me thinking: When an Iranian runs out of milk, does he go to next-door Iraq to ask for some? They’re all Arabs after all.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

Those urinals really should be spinning. Cough- tell me are the occupiers of said urinals going down the drain, or up? Or is there a more, um, advantageously sexual purpose for their being in such a…place?

Here’s a question: if I took a wingnut “celebrity”, say, one who looks a lot like a Pillsbury spokes-being, if I took a photo of a person like that and make it look like “road kill” complete with asphalt and dotted white line, would that be entering “over the top” or “you’ve gone too far this time!” territory?

I have the Photoshop mapped out in my head, but I’m hesitating. Of course S,N! rarely kicks (so-called) “people” off, but other sites can be more fastidious. I wouldn’t want C & L, for instance to edge away and avert their eyes when I’m around, or ban me.

 
 

Note a whole heck of a lot of crazy here.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

JM: Oh those Iranian chants are FABulous! I wish I’d thought of at least one of them.

 
 

The Red Badger of Courage said,
June 17, 2009 at 1:30
“Were you aware of today’s anniversary?”

Heh! But is it yet a tradition to celebrate said anniversary or point said anniversary out to fellow Sadly! Noers Mr. Red Badger sir? It is that that is central to some point.

 
 

Heh! But is it yet a tradition to celebrate said anniversary or point said anniversary out to fellow Sadly! Noers Mr. Red Badger sir? It is that that is central to some point.

Also.

 
 

They’ve already got dictators and tyrants. Why would we need to promote Republicanism?

PeeJ, you win this thread.

 
 

I’m not going to determine the quality of the crazy that RB shows us, but I can say there certainly is a lot of it.

 
 

Gooper family values

Ensign has been a member of the men’s ministry the Promise Keepers, a Christian ministry.

He had been highly critical of former Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, who served in Congress for a quarter-century when he was arrested in an airport bathroom sex sting. Ensign stopped short of urging him to resign but suggested strongly that he should.

“I wouldn’t put myself hopefully in that kind of position, but if I was in a position like that, that’s what I would do,” Ensign said. “He’s going to have to answer that for himself.” In the end, Craig served out his term.

Ensign is the latest member of Congress who has acknowledged infidelity. Sen. David Vitter, R-La., is rebounding from being linked with a prostitute.

Do as I say, not as I do,
doo dah, doo dah
Do as I say, not as I do,
all the doo dah day!

 
 

Also.

That reminds me, any of you who didn’t see Letterman’s initial comments on the Palin flap would enjoy seeing at least the part that starts at 5:50 in.

Dave: “Now here’s the other joke they’re upset about….#2, bought makeup at Bloomingdale’s to update her slutty flight attendant look….Now….the only thing I can say about this is I kinda like that joke.”

But really, the whole thing is pretty good…I also really enjoyed the part where he’s reading off Palin’s incoherently rambling statement.

 
Sir Windblown Dentist
 

Sparring with Letterman isn’t in her best interest. She’s a Hannity gal.

 
 

Note a whole heck of a lot of crazy here.

Crikey, he hits Godwin in the first sentence.

 
 

Okay, I read the whole thing (or as much as I could stomach). It’s crazy, but it’s recycled crazy. I’ve heard all those moral equivalencies (“They do it, too!” “I’m above correlating the left with these crazies, except just this one time…”) already. Then the following happen:

1) he goes all Godwin again;

2) He pretends that conservatives are victims;

3) He mis-defines something as “hate speech.”

4) He spews some monster lies: “Or that most Lefties falsely accused President Bush of staging the worst terror attack in American history against his own citizens”; that David Duke is part of the “left”; that the “left” controls the media; etc.

It’s kind of formulaic. What makes it so batshit crazy is that it’s ALL IN ONE PLACE. No wonder we are all worried about right wing extremists. This guy sounds clinically mentally ill. Are we looking at “wingnut event horizon” [h/t John Cole] yet?

And then there’s perhaps the craziest bit of all: “I’m a reasonable guy.”

Uh huh.

 
 

It started with some late-night infomercial where some Australian guy was using some kitchen cooking gadget and kept picking up the food and saying “scuse my finGAHs,”

Was it this one? Because that there is one of the true classics.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

“The Top Ten Words I Insert in My Sentences For No Reason at All”
10. Sure
9. Mick
8. Maverick
7. Yep
6. Also
5. You
4; Betcha
3. Caravaggio
2. Class
1. Future

 
Sprinkle On The Zesty Goodness
 

Geld me with a non-pointy kitchen knife.

 
 

That Girl, he’s cribbing off Jonah.

Of course, Jonah himself is cheating off every other puke’s test, so it’s all one circle jonanism.

 
 

I am aware of all Internet anniversaries & also of comment-thread conventions where putting something in blockquotes means that one is quoting that person.

But here I am not.

It seems to me that what this comment is about is, well, sort of questionable.

 
 

Note a whole heck of a lot of crazy here.
Crikey, he hits Godwin in the first sentence.

It turns out that Mr Simpson is opposed to “enacting new Nuremburg decrees”. Since the Nuremberg laws were restrictions imposed on who could legally marry whom, I assume that this is his Godwinnish way of protesting against “defense of marriage” no-gay-couples legislation — so good on him, sez I.

 
 

Tintin’s beginning to spoil my bathroom experience. I can’t see a toilet anymore without seeing a wingnut attached to it.

 
 

ensign news is boring. wheres the double wetsuits and dildos, prostitutes, trolling for public bathroom homo sex, the gay prostitutes with meth, and the underage pages? pretty weak for a guy from las vegas.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

Note a whole heck of a lot of crazy here.

Shorter for every repig pundit: When the left mentions Hitler they are violating Godwin’s Law. When we don’t just mention, but start every single column with Hitler, we are being truth-tellers.

 
 

More importantly, will he be shunned by his Republican colleagues for not even having some kind of weird fetish? A boring, vanilla sex scandal for a Republican Senator. Please. He should be ashamed.

 
 

Well, Senator Hypocrite (R-“Gaming” Interests) was poking a campaign staffer who was married to one of the employees in his Senate office. That’s creepier than a ton of kinkiness.

 
Stag Party Palin
 

Hey guys, isn’t this a thread about Obama? Did you see his Brave Little Tailor bit on Olberman tonight? No flies on that guy.

 
 

We three cakes of ur-in-als are,
fapping off for another war…

Did it also apply to non-Arab countries like Iran?

Oh pshaw! Next you’ll suggest there are different types of Muslims like the Sunnys and the Shia LeBoeufs and the Pistachios.

 
There's a Ni**er in the White House!!
 

Obama. Bad! Bush. Good!! Yaaaay Powerline!!!

I can explain everything….

 
 

Oh pshaw! Next you’ll suggest there are different types of Muslims like the Sunnys and the Shia LeBoeufs and the Pistachios.

Lots of Lesbianese are christians.

 
 

FYWP

 
 

Damn, and I was just a few blocks away around the Lipstick Building on 53rd/54th today. I miss all the fun stuff.

 
 

Damn, and I was just a few blocks away around the Lipstick Building on 53rd/54th today.

Was the Lipstick Building on a Pitbull Building?

 
 

Olbermann said organizer/asshole John Ziegler saw how few people showed, jumped into a cab & took off.

 
 

This Simpson character asserts:

Sales of the Anarchist Cookbook rival Betty Crocker’s.

I’d LOVE to see the evidence for that one.

 
 

Sales of the Anarchist Cookbook
Sales
ANARCHY FAIL STEAL DOWNLOAD THIS BOOK

 
 

I have vague memories of this being a 24/7 thrill-fest, just a couple of yrs. ago. Has age (or worse) caught up w/ the commentariat that quickly?

 
 

Where’s the whitey tape?

 
 

Do you suppose those little red rubber mats at the bottom of urinals that said “JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS” ever convinced anyone, really, to stop using?

Yes, unfortunately, although I do note that the anti drug measure is being watered down, or is someone taking the piss?

 
 

Speaking of taking the piss, how’s about something floral? Or a game of soccer?

But I think my favourite is the Dubya urinal. Says it all somehow.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Poor Willow Palin. The teen-age years are very rarely kind on anyone – let alone someone with such an attention whore as a mother (yup, I said whore!) – but this really is too much. And it’s not just being collateral damage in society’s great cultural war. So much of our identites, especially in regard to sex, are formed in our teenaged years. Things we’re exposed to as adolescents are often the bases of the various fetishes and hang-ups we are ashamed of as adults.

It’s hard to imagine a teenaged girl who has more pressure on her to stay not-pregnant. And all of that right-wing noise machine flapping it’s arms around – doing their best to connect her name with the verb rape. Here’s hoping that despite her surroundings, despite the stupid fucking garbage that’s apparently “big news” right now, that this doesn’t mess her life up too much more than Sarah’s thirst for power already has. You betcha.

Also, I feel bad for Bristol too. Sure she’s a bit of an attention whore herself – but the manufactured outrage around the Letterman joke is basically telling her only her sister is worth defending. I mean, the thing is a complete and total non-story if it’s about Bristol (which it obviously was – and I’m casting evil glances at you New Gold Dream) but The Greatest Crime in History if it’s about her sister. Eighteen really isn’t that much older than fourteen – and the fact that she did “get knocked up” is a pretty shitty fucking way of reinforcing the message that she’s worthless. Seriously – “because you’re a teenaged single mom” is a horrible excuse for treating teenaged single moms badly.

 
 

I realize predicting that conservatives would try to portray the Iran uprising as an example of the rightness of Bush’s Middle East foreign policy is like predicting the sun would rise tomorrow but nevertheless:

I TOTALLY CALLED IT!

 
 

I am aware of all internet anniversaries.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Talking to myself again. Self I say, when Isaid Things we’re exposed to as adolescents are often the bases of the various fetishes and hang-ups we are ashamed of as adults – was that before or after I read today’s xkcd? It was before – but nobody’s going to believe it.

 
 

DKW –

Your second point, re Bristol, is why the joke was a crappy joke that shouldn’t have aired. I have little regard for a teenage single mother preaching abstinence, but she wouldn’t be on the map if not for her fame-whore mother. Punishing Bristol for that creature is unfair.

Your first point is, of course, another reason to hate the mother. Ignorance, fame-whoring, and bigotry pale next to connecting your 14-year-old daughter indelibly to the word “rape.”

Of course, McCain spent 2001-2008 sucking up to the people who attacked him in 2000 through his adopted (then teenage) daughter, so I guess it’s just part of the family-values party worldview.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

N__B,

Was it a crappy joke? Yup. Dave admitted it hisself. Should it not have aired? Totally disagree with you there. If we outlaw crappy jokes, only outlaws will ever host the Oscars I’d end up being a pretty quiet Dragon-King.

I guess the thing I’m trying to say is – Dave tells dozens of jokes every night. Some of them are stinkers, some of them are in poor taste. That’s television. As a result of this, his jokes aren’t taken seriously – and that’s right and proper, they are after all – jokes. The night before the big blow-up his Top Ten Worst Summer Jobs included Jon & Kate marriage counselor. Haha the very public disintegration of a marriage is 2 funyuns 4 evah! We’re not laughing at their misfortune, we’re laughing at the comedic implications of their misfortune!

No, the real problem is that there is now a virtual industry built around being outraged over a Letterman joke. That instead of letting this slide into Late Show history as one of the many unmemorable stinkers that Dave’s uttered – it’s being shoved into conversations nation-wide for days.

 
 

Forbes magazine says John Stewart and Steven Colbert are no longer hip.

Shorter Forbes: Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!

 
 

It’s hard to imagine a teenaged girl who has more pressure on her to stay not-pregnant.

Without contraception, no less. And I doubt that if she did get pregnant, she’d be allowed to go to term, lest Palin’s 2012 run be put in jeopardy. They’d pull a Jenna “bout of appendicitis” out of the hat and run with that.

As to whether the joke would have been proper even if he had identified Bristol clearly, depends. If the joke was formulated such that it pointed the finger at Palin for allowing her daughter to get pregnant, then I can see that being fair game.

If it’s pointed at Bristol for being a horny teen, then no. The way I recall the joke went, it was probably out of bounds, the implication being that Bristol invited sex with A-Rod (who has his own problem keeping his pecker in his pants) and not that Palin looked the other way.

That this was all distorted into a statutory rape scenario tells me one thing about 2012: Sarah Palin will not win the GOP nomination. She will run her mouth, and then claim victimization, and if American politics teaches us anything, we don’t elect victims.

 
 

I wonder if Palin got the thank-you note and flowers Letterman sent her. He hasn’t had this much traction on You-Tube since the dust-up with McCain. You can’t buy that kind of publicity. Ratings Gold!

 
 

Forbes magazine says John Stewart and Steven Colbert are no longer hip.

Great. Advice on hipness from an old man whose pelvis is just one hop on a Jersey transvestite away from a fracture.

 
 

I see those three urinals and suddenly I get the urge to play Pee-A-Mole.

 
 

Is this Forbes Magazine’s way of expressing its Total Internet Tradition Awareness?

 
 

Forbes magazine says John Stewart and Steven Colbert are no longer hip.

But disfiguring pockmarks are. All the coolest golfers are flocking to play 18 holes on Steve Forbes’ face.

 
Shorter wingnuts
 

Some of my best friends are Thomas Sowell.

 
 

A Google search for “Willow Palin”+ rape = 40,700 hits. Surely this is not Dave’s fault but rather Sarah’s and her wingnut minions.

 
 

Over here! Hello…?

 
 

Conan O’Brien said,

June 17, 2009 at 17:39

Over here! Hello…?

Damn, I was just gonna say.

Letterman’s not new to this. I think he’d blow Satan to win a ratings war against Conan right now. Every bit of this was planned.

 
 

????? ??????????? ??? ??????? ?? ????

 
 

Oh, you’re back now. For a while the SadlyNo! domain was hijacked by some search engine for people who want more spam with their spam.

 
 

I should mention that the Shithouse Troll thing didn’t end there.

It got expanded on over years; there was an idea for an illustrated comic book version, complete with a night-scene panel, outside during a thunderstorm, with the protaganist dramatically depicted from low angle with a look of absolute shock and horror on his face as he says, “My God…my god….I AM…..THE SHITHOUSE TROLL!!!!”

Then there was the sequel idea, Shithouse Troll II: IN LOVE.

After I came up with the idea for a film adaptation called Hidden Shithouse, Crouching Troll, I think everyone gave up with trying to take it any further.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

What about The Treasure of the Shithouse Troll?

FinGAHS? You’ll pardon my finGAHS! You’ll pardon my stinking finGAHS!!!

 
 

Now that I think about it, scuse my finGAHs would be a pretty good all-purpose “shorter troll” response.

 
 

I say old chap! This thread has gotten a bit, shall we say, long in the tooth, what? Do be a good man and bring us a bit of tasty new wingnut zaniness, won’t you. There’s a good fellow.

 
 

What, you think putting on a phony Limey accent will tempt Brad, Gavin, DA, Tintin et. al out of the Sadly Bunker?

Sadly, No!

We must make our own entertainment.

 
 

This is entertaining in a bizarre way.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

We must make our own entertainment.

Dammit. Lolcats has sucked lately.

 
 

Then there was the sequel idea, Shithouse Troll II: IN LOVE.

FinGAHS? You’ll pardon my finGAHS! You’ll pardon my stinking finGAHS!!!

Shithouse Troll and the FinGAHS would make an EXXXXXXXXXXcellent band name.

 
 

There’s always failblog.

 
 

Club owners have businesses to run. And they can’t afford strange biology experiments to drive away customers.

Poor Debbie.

I wonder how she’d handle living in Scotland with all those kilts?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I have failblog bookmarked right next to Big Hollywood. Keep getting ’em mixed up.

 
 

Odd, I always just assumed that Debbie Schlusselpenis is transgendered. Am I wrong about that?

 
 

You’ve never actually seen her in a ladies’ room, have you? Neither have I so it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

 
 

From Lil’ Debbie’s comments:

Hey I know a guy who beat up a lesbian bouncer/securtiy guard. He kept warning her not touch to him. As he beat her he told her “I gonna beat you like the dude you want to be.” Some people just dont get it.

Yup, some people just don’t get it.

 
 

As he beat her he told her “I gonna beat you like the dude you want to be.”

That dude would SOOOOOOOOOOO be my hero…

…if I had a hero that went around beating women up.

 
 

Hey I know a guy who beat up a lesbian bouncer/securtiy guard. He kept warning her not touch to him. As he beat her he told her “I gonna beat you like the dude you want to be.” Some people just dont get it.

Oh, he’s going to get it. Sooner or later, he’ll get it.

 
 

Surely this is not Dave’s fault but rather Sarah’s and her wingnut minions.

I would never have heard of it had Palin not used it to springboard her latest round of undeserved media attention. Also, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t care, except that she was low on face time (other such jokes haven’t caused anything like this, per Shannyn Moore’s piece at HuffPo), which is what makes her not just a bad mother but a shitty person.

 
 

I think that Palin was really more upset about the “slutty stewardess” joke than the (obviously Bristol-intended) outraging joke, but her handlers told her she couldn’t do anything about the “slutty” joke so they manufactured her poutrage for her.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Umm, SchlusselPENIS’ background is law, right? Is she still a practising attourney?

Some discrimination needs to happen, if you’re business is going to survive. Discrimination at clubs goes on every single day, when pretty girls and celebrities go to the beginning of the line and right into the club, while others wait in line outside. Discrimination and the exclusion of freaks is the club way of life. And there’s nothing illegal about it.

c.f.

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/housing/title2.php

Each of the following establishments is a place of public accommodation within this title… any motion picture house, theater, concert hall, sports arena, stadium or other place of exhibition or entertainment

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I thought Dave’s joke was intended as a shot at A-Rod, not Crabgrass or whatever the fuck her name is.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Umm, SchlusselPENIS’ background is law, right? Is she still a practising attourney?

I don’t think so. No matter how hard she practiced, she never really got it.

Irregardnonetheless, Title 2 prohibits discrimination only on the basis of race, color, religion, or national origin – not hotness or “freakness.”

 
 

OK, what the hell happened to washingtonmonthly/Steve Benen?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

…not hotness or “freakness.”

Much like how mandatory height requirements to become police officers did not discriminate against women. Anyways, point being that it certainly seems to me (and IANAL, &c, PENIS, also) that a discrimination suit is not entirely without merit.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

not Crabgrass or whatever the fuck her name is.

Palin should start a website and elicit possible names for the next breeding cycle of her extended snowbilly family. This would be good for publicity, which is pretty much the only thing Mooseburger cares about, and could happen if her numbers are low going into the start of the 2012 campaign.

If the site appears, I’m voting for “Turbo Diesel Benz Palin”.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Question regarding Schlussel_Everything_Is_The_Fault_Of_The_CRESCENT.com #2

I don’t read Schlussel unless it’s brought up here, so I can’t be sure – but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Norman Blitzer in her comment threads before. I’m confused because:

[No-one wants a freak poisoning their establishment.]

This has got to be the most mean spirited thing I’ve ever read on this blog. Why Debbie, why?

Posted by: Norman Blitzer

I mean really. That’s the most mean-spirited he remembers Debbie ever being? Heck in that same post she als says:

What an accomplishment! Brag about it to the grandchildren. Oh wait, it’ll be kinda hard for her/him/it to have any.

Classy Debbiecakes – really nice.

 
 

Discrimination at clubs goes on every single day, when pretty girls and celebrities go to the beginning of the line and right into the club, while others wait in line outside.

That’s not discrimination, because the people still standing on line are not PROHIBITED from entering. They have to wait their turn, while the celebs get preferential treatment.

Somehow, I imagine ol’ Deb here was standing wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the line outside Studio one night, the only night she was in NYC, and got all pissy with her piled up blonde hair and that daring headband and spandex combo she bought at Dayton’s….

 
 

I just spent some time at failblog. It really never stops being funny.

On the discrimination thing, Debs is right to the extent that discrimination is only illegal when based on some sort of protected class status. Under Federal Law, gender identity or sexual orientation is not a protected class. But, the statement that “some discrimination is required” is pretty far fetched. I’d love it the first time some white gomer got kept out of a bar for trying to bring a dead squirrel in there. She’d be apoplectic.

Also, Schlussel is a first class asshole for writing that disgusting column. (Just call me Captain Obvious!) A person can state his or her opinion without being so vile, but she revels in being inhumane. Really, she makes me physical ill.

 
 

If the site appears, I’m voting for “Turbo Diesel Benz Palin”.

My vote goes to “Im”.

 
 

Debs is right to the extent that discrimination is only illegal when based on some sort of protected class status.

Yea, but a human being denied the use of a bathroom, ANY bathroom, has GOT to be discrimination. Period.

 
 

Okay, I can’t believe I said “Debs is right.” I don’t think she even said what I said she said. Or something. In the comments, she says (in all caps, of course) that being transgendered is a psychological problem.

I know someone with psychological problems, and it’s not the plaintiff in that lawsuit.

 
 

Yea, but a human being denied the use of a bathroom, ANY bathroom

I see where that might be misinterpreted, so let me be clearer. Here’s a self-identifying man being told he can use neither the men’s room or women’s room. That’s what I mean by being denied the use of any (either) bathroom, and not that he or anyone has the god-given right to use the bathroom of his or her choice.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

That Debbie-cakes screed is just plain nasty. Squint and spit nasty. The self-esteem of these people like Debbie the Goose Stepper is is lower than their IQs, if that is actually possible. Shorter: WTF?!

 
 

Yea, but a human being denied the use of a bathroom, ANY bathroom, has GOT to be discrimination. Period.

I don’t think it works that way. I’m not an expert on public accommodations laws, though, only employment discrimination laws, so I could very well be wrong.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Under Federal Law, gender identity or sexual orientation is not a protected class.

True…except:

The states that have passed fair housing in regards to gays and lesbians are: California, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Wisconsin.

Emphasis mine.
Anyways, complainant alleges possible racial discrimination also. Based on the meager scraps of information we’ve got, I still say the suit is not without merit. I’m not saying that it’ll succeed either, but it looks like it should get a day in court.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Regardless of the legal merits of the case (and I am not going to chime in there) the column itself is poisonous. I hope, for no other reason than to shove it down Li’l Debbie’s throat, that the case is heard and the complaint is upheld. Call me selfish.

 
 

Not Looch,

My sentiments exactly.

In addition, Schulssel’s column is reason enough for the Feds and/or every state to pass laws banning this type of discrimination.

 
 

Somehow, I imagine ol’ Deb here was standing wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the line outside Studio one night […]
with her piled up blonde hair and that daring headband and spandex combo she bought at Dayton’s

ZOMG that was HER! I waltzed past as we in in Halston’s entourage (or maybe I was in Calvin’s crew that night?) were whisked through by Stevie himself. As I recall, she stamped her feet in protest and yelled something about the JOPOOOOOOOOS.

 
 

Gearbox Zamboni Palin.

 
 

PENIS. And such as.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

D-KW, I hope you’re right. There may be additional protections for the transgendered under state law.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

PENIS. And such as.

Heh. At least the kids got a 45-second reprieve from the Jonas Brothers.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

And such as.
OMG! Jonas Brothers porn!!!!

Re: Sierra Broussard,

I dunno how I’d like to see this case decided. She’s not seeking injunctive relief – she’s asking for damages. I guess, IMO, the big thing is that it brings trans issues into the news-cycle, so that raging shitbags like Schlussel can remind everyone about how truly vile and filled with hate they are.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Truffle Armaggedon Palin

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Scott Stapp Palin

 
 

Whiter Shaeda Palin

 
 

Whiter Shaeda Palin
Win!

 
 

Jackie Jill Palin

 
 

I don’t think it works that way. I’m not an expert on public accommodations laws, though, only employment discrimination laws, so I could very well be wrong.

Here’s the thing: I’m in a bar. They have no problem serving me alcohol. There’s a public bathroom. People are using it. It works.

I go to use it, and am told I may not. My recourse is to go outside and piss on the wall, committing a crime, or go someplace else.

That’s discrimination, unless there’s just cause (maybe I’ve punched someone in the eye and am being escorted out).

 
 

Whiter Shaeda Palin
Win!

Agreed.

And on a related note, I’m surprised Freud never named his daughter Schaden

 
 

Ahh, but what if you are in a restaurant that does not allow shitting? Or perhaps you’re forced to take a dump. Or something.

Perhaps Debbie should open a bar in which no one may tinkle, pee, piss or otherwise leak.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

The twins, Point and Centralia Palin.
And maybe she’ll take the only chance she has of ever being associated with something good and produce Cleese Chapman Palin.

 
 

Beyonda Palin.

 
 

A. Palin

 
 

Factiz Tweet Palin.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Cilantro Creed Palin

 
 

Youbetcha Palin

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez Jr.

 
 

OK, bored techno-weasels, any of you have a suggestion for a program to encode video files (VHS tapes dubbed to DVDs) for upload to websites?

I just “downloaded” Auto Gordian Knot, which sat there at about 85% for two hours, I then got impatient & tried to cancel it, it wouldn’t, so I went to shut it down & suddenly it claimed to be finished. Tried to open it, got a message saying “codecs not installed, need DivX or something…”

This should cure boredom. Or intensify it, once I get all my ancient videos on0line.

 
 

Update: Message sez: “codecs are not found…requires XviD or Divx to be installed. This mean I have to get one of them things for it to work?

 
 

Milehigh Crotchless Palin 3d

 
 

Kid, everytime I saw a McCain/Palin sign, I thought, “If he’d picked Michael Palin, I think I’d have to vote Republican.”

 
 

Yay! Boring technology is ever so exciting!

 
 

Bouf, what kinda iron ya slinging there?

*adjusting John Deere cap*

*hockSPIT*

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

…sat there at about 85% for two hours, I then got impatient…

You then got impatient?

 
 

Development on AGK, according to its FAQ, ceased in 2007.

 
 

Update: Message sez: “codecs are not found…requires XviD or Divx to be installed. This mean I have to get one of them things for it to work?

Yes. Both are safe and handy.

 
 

RB, Auto GK is a separate project and is still being maintained.

 
 

I could be wrong about that….. I ASSumed from the latest release notice being posted earlier this year. I’ll check it out.

 
 

Cross-eyed reading. Xvid seems to be bundled, does it not?

 
 

Hah! Bubba comes through, & I wasted everyone’s time here, instead of e-mailing my pathetic inquiry.

I’m gainfully unemployed. I have all the time the time in the world for 20 yrs. or so (until I’m dead). Wonderful for patience. Took a shower, went out for the fish-wrapper, butts & moloko for the coffee while waiting for the little green bar to move. Life is a challenge to fill w/ even trivial activity.

actor, I gots a Toshiba laptop w/ a 64-bit OS. (Big mistake, that. Took me two wks. to determine that you had to get a very special version of Flash, deeply hidden on the Abode site, to work w/ it.) Mucho memory, though. If that’s what you were asking. And watch where yer hocking.

 
 

The FAQ sez 2007, but obviously somebody’s doing something.

 
 

Mucho memory, though

Yea, that answered muh quesshin….*snerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*

 
 

You mean, bundled w/ AGK?

Anyway, I’ll let y’all what knows fight this out, I gotta get to the man (“never early, always late”) before 1600.

I expect all problems to be thoroughly worked out by then, & eventually y’all can look at my past.

(Followed by mass suicide, I’m guessing.)

OT: PETA condemns Obama for offing fly. Jeez, even the Dalia Lama has said he’ll give a mosquito a couple of breaks, but if it keeps buzzing him, he’ll squash it.

Merci, tout le monde!!

 
 

I dunno much about Windows freeware for this kinda stuff but unlocking Quicktime provides a quick solution to a lot of things.

 
 

Oooh, PETA Palin!

 
 

avi.net seems to be a recent favorite. Comes in winders and penguin versions.

Yes, the codecs are supposed to be bundled in AGK.

M, was that message from the installer or from AGK proper?

 
 

Mistress of the salmon salt
Quicktime girl

 
 

26 hours without a new thread! YOWSA YOWSA YOWSA! Here they are again, folks! These wonderful, wonderful kids! Still struggling! Still hoping! As the clock of fate ticks away, the thread of destiny continues! The marathon goes on, and on, and on! HOW LONG CAN THEY LAST!?

 
 

I will not suggest anything juvenile like Kodiak Moosetwat Palin. I’ll just sit here quietly.

 
 

Drillon Freedom Folks-Palin

 
 

For a girl

Blushingflower Abstinence Palin

 
 

While we’re waiting for a new thread and/or inspiration, let me recommend this story which was a joy to read.

 
 

Moppen Palin

 
 

In a coming generation

Battle Palin-Schwarzenegger .

Or perhaps Schwarzenegger Kristol-Palin

 
 

Shwarz, as his friends called him (or, in college, Kegger-negger), was best known as the founder of Shwarzenegger Crystal, and it’s signature Palin Blue tint.

So. Bullies.

 
 

Is Sadly No turning into Shakesville?

If they come back with a lengthy diatribe about us refusing to use hurtful language and hurting HTML’s feelings, I promise I’m ALL IN.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Is Sadly No turning into Shakesville?

I’m not very familiar with Shakesville – somehow I’ve never found it very engaging. Not objectionable, just not very interesting.

If they write big essays insisting that people use hurtful language, though, I’m interested. Or is it the opposite? That’s not the place where they said that any insult ending in “-bag” was inherently sexist, was it?

 
 

Or is it the opposite?

A couple weekends ago, all the contributors stopped posting any updates at all from Friday afternoon through Monday morning, then came back with a long post full of admonitions that the commenters were using too much hurtful language, and Shakesville was a “safe place,” and no one was ever, ever allowed to say anything that’d make Melissa sad ever. Most of the commenters fell over themselves crying “I’m ALL IN! Where’s my grape kool-aid?”

I thought it was really insulting that they went preaching at their regular commenters and treating them like they were trolls.

 
 

Stewart and Colbert haven’t been “hip” for a long time. The problem is, they’re actually better journalists than our “serious journalists.” And that makes me so sad I could cry. It seems to make Stewart a little sad, too. Or at least nonplussed.

Also, re: Palin, you don’t have to defend Palin to say that a joke about her young daughter, A-Rod, and statutory rape was way out of bounds. What I think he should have done is honestly and sincerely apologized to the girl about whom he actually made the joke. I’m not a big fan of calling women you don’t like “sluts”, but if he doesn’t want to apologize to Sarah Palin, that’s fine with me. She’s a grown-up who has chosen a profession in which she knows she is going to be the butt of jokes, and I’m sure much crueler things have been said about her by GOP Old Boys the minute she leaves a room (maybe even while she’s still in it). But he should have apologized to the kid and seemed like he meant it. I hate Palin too, but her not quite 15 year old daughter should maybe be left alone, the same way Chelsea should have been left alone.

Also between Trig, Piper, Bristol and Willow, Willow totally won the “Who got the least terrible name” award. It seems like Todd and Sarah were naming kids after a script they were writing for Charmed: The Next Generation.

 
 

Any word on the eldest Palin son (Trogg? Slagg? Gnurtzz?) who was shipped off to Iraq to (a) make Mom look like a selfless patriot, and (b) save him from imminent incarceration for assorted minor felonies?

 
 

Jaegermeister Hangover Palin

 
 

I don’t mean to interrupt this interesting discussion about tech support and shakesville . . . actually I do mean to. Hear is some low lying fruit. Discuss amongst yourselves.

“Jonah Goldberg: Painting the right as a single blob of evil

“But, of course, we have Sarah Palin to thank for von Brunn. So says some genius at the Daily Kos. A competing braniac at the Huffington Post says, “Thank you very much, Karl Rove and your minions.” Pretty much the entire media establishment is comfortable labeling von Brunn as a member of the “far right.” Putting aside other objections to that nomenclature, if von Brunn is a member of the far right, then it would be helpful and journalistically responsible if the press would start calling Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Sean Hannity, et al., moderates and centrists.”

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-goldberg_16edi.State.Edition1.297fdc5.html

 
 

Jonah Goldberg: Painting the right as a single blob of evil

That’s like John T. Simpson without the mouth foam.

 
 

There’s not that much daylight between von Brunn and Limbaugh, Gingrich, or Hannity. They’re all fringe-right screamers, they’re all racists, they’d all prefer to keep the Klan and the Minutemen around than a single non-white face anywhere in the country. And Jonah Goldberg is a lot like all of them, too.

 
 

MMMMMMMALKIN! 1st and last sentences
http://michellemalkin.com/

“My syndicated column today digs further into Obama’s AmeriCorruption. We now have the White House in full Chicago thug mode ” . . .

“Last week, I said this reeked of the Clintons’ Travelgate. It’s much, much worse.”

More like exactly like travelgate, i.e. manufactured wingnut bullshit.i

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

New Gold Dream is over here witgh the same fucking crap. Nobody said a word about Willow Palin, and you goddamn well know it, asshole! The joke was about the Unwed-mother “Abstinence Advocate” Public-figure 18-year-old Bristol Palin. It may be funny or it may not, but Willow is an absolutely extraneous diversion that anyone would have to have the brains of a housefly to be distracted by!

Also: Vlad D. M. Palin.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I thought it was really insulting that they went preaching at their regular commenters and treating them like they were trolls.

Aha, yes. Quite the opposite of here, where trolls are welcomed as regular commenters.

Thanks for the tip – doesn’t sound like my kinda place.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Nobody said a word about Willow Palin, and you goddamn well know it, asshole!

Yeah. This is going well beyond the “Kerry’s botched joke” pearl-clutching, past dada, and into the very extremes of tiresome. The only good part about it is that it’s reminding everybody that Sarah Palin is an insufferable jackass.

Or is it jillass for women?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Vlad’s middle initials stand for “Dead Moose.” of course.

 
 

Why doesn’t Palin direct her righteous wrath toward Kenneth Grahame, who wrote an entire book about her 14-year-old daughter’s chronic flatulence problem.

Not to mention that absolutely filthy song by Gilbert and Sullivan. Also. Such as.

Is it because those guys are right-wing Republicans too?

 
 

I hate Palin too, but her not quite 15 year old daughter should maybe be left alone, the same way Chelsea should have been left alone.

Maybe if she wants to be left alone she should tell her idiot mom to stop using her as a political prop.

And staying off the cover of People Magazine would be an idea.

 
 

Meanwhile, on the lighter side of the news, Rush Limbaugh Dies at 58.

 
 

John Cole had a good thread on the IG firing yesterday. Turns out the Bush appointed US Attorney thought the Inspector was a douchebag.

http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=22719
Also
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/06/more-details-emerge-in-president-obamas-firing-of-inspector-general.html

 
 

Meanwhile, on the lighter side of the news, Rush Limbaugh Dies at 58.

Oh, come on — Limbaugh a fly?!?!? You’d have to cut him into twenty or thirty pieces and feed them one by one into Brundle’s teleportation chamber.

Get back to us when Obama swats and kills a hippopotamus with a glandular condition.

 
 

I´ve never seen urinals so close together. And why are these mens smiling?….are they laughing because they have peed on each other?
Where I´m from, you don´t smile in the bathroom unless you are picking your teeth. Are they at the office? Must be an office of really skinny people. What a funny picture! Was it taken using a flash? Really.

 
 

Maybe if she wants to be left alone she should tell her idiot mom to stop using her as a political prop.

And staying off the cover of People Magazine would be an idea.

Or, maybe televised comedians should leave 14 year old kids alone. Maybe it’s kind of creepy when they don’t. Maybe he should have fucking well apologized to the kid, even if not to the mom.

Seriously. This isn’t even an “Us vs Them” situation because, as far as I can tell, Letterman has never been one of “us”. It’s a creepy old man making a joke about the statutory rape of a little girl and a bunch of people who hate the little girl’s mom so much they’re cheering him on. I mean, anyone who doesn’t hate the entire Palin family so much they’re willing to laugh at the expense of a teenager is an unwelcome troll? I’ll hate Palin all day and night just leave the kids out of it, Dave and everyone else have the goddamn good sense not to rush to defend his stupid joke.

 
 

Oooh look, a new troll. This one is very concerned.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Oooh look, a new troll. This one is very concerned.

I’m pretty sure it’s the same old troll, but it is very concerned.

 
 

Or, maybe televised comedians should leave 14 year old kids alone.

Or maybe any idiot would conclude that the phrases “Palin’s daughter” and “knocked up” used together must inarguably refer to Palin’s knocked up daughter, Bristol. Are you always this willfully obtuse?

 
 

OFFS. It’s been said over and over…the joke wasn’t about Buzzsaw or Sapling or whatever her name is.

You have, for the umpteenth fucking time, made your point. Please be so good as to give it a rest now.

Kthksbai

 
 

Oh man, I really hope this place is turning into Shakesville because that means Gavin will write a post shaming us into hitting the tip jar because reading blogs is theft, deadbeats. When he does I will change my nym to Peter the Pud and take on the role of guy who coaxes guilt ridden commenters into giving Gavin their unemployment checks and child support money.

 
 

New Gold Dream is over here witgh the same fucking crap. Nobody said a word about Willow Palin, and you goddamn well know it, asshole! The joke was about the Unwed-mother “Abstinence Advocate” Public-figure 18-year-old Bristol Palin. It may be funny or it may not, but Willow is an absolutely extraneous diversion that anyone would have to have the brains of a housefly to be distracted by!

I’m bringing up the same fucking crap because somebody else brought it up first and I was responding. And 14 year old Willow Palin was the Palin daughter at the fucking game. She’s the one he made the joke about. Just suck it up. Admit that jokes about a 14 year old girl getting knocked up by a disgraced professional athlete aren’t funny. But then I’m a spoilsport and a prude–I don’t really think any jokes about sex with children are all that funny.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

She’s the one he made the joke about. Just suck it up.

You can dream all you want about this little tidbit, but it’s a lie.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

NGD:

Either 1) Acknowledge that you realize that the joke had nothing whatsoever to do with the 14-year-old daughter,

2) Give some plausible reason why it’s possible to imagine that it did, or

3) Shut the fuck up!

 
 

Or maybe any idiot would conclude that the phrases “Palin’s daughter” and “knocked up” used together must inarguably refer to Palin’s knocked up daughter, Bristol. Are you always this willfully obtuse?

I would conclude that a joke about a Palin daughter getting “knocked up in the 7th inning” would refer to the Palin daughter who was physically at the game with her mother. Willow.

 
 

So a pedophile’s walking into the woods at night with a kid, and the kid says “I’m scared!”

The pedophile says “You’re scared? I gotta walk home alone.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

BTW, the next hatchling from the Palin breeding operation will be named:

Letterman Ratings Boost Palin

 
 

Either 1) Acknowledge that you realize that the joke had nothing whatsoever to do with the 14-year-old daughter,

2) Give some plausible reason why it’s possible to imagine that it did, or

3) Shut the fuck up!

Willow Palin was at the game, with her mother. The game in which A-Rod was playing. The game in the 7th inning of which A-Rod “knocked up” Palin’s daughter. I conclude he was referring to the daughter who was physically at the game. Within knockin’ up distance.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

I would conclude that a joke about a Palin daughter getting “knocked up in the 7th inning” would refer to the Palin daughter who was physically at the game with her mother. Willow.

Or you could conclude that it is about the more experienced, abstinence-only single mother Bristol.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

And 14 year old Willow Palin was the Palin daughter at the fucking game. She’s the one he made the joke about. Just suck it up.

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT-ON TOAST!! Nobody could conceivably have thought that. I guarantee you whoever wrote the joke never thought that, or had an itemized list of all the Palin spawn in his head, like you seem to, I abso-damn-lutely guarantee you nobody in the studio audience or watching on TV ever conceived the notion that the joke was about Willow, until the GOP noise machine, AND YOU, came up with this crap the next day. Or was it two days later? It would take a great deal of “thought” to come up with a talking point this convoluted, so maybe it was.

 
 

The best thing about the babies of evil right wing politicians learning to crawl is they’re already in the right position.

 
 

Peej, msg. appeared when I “opened” (or tried to) AGK. I’ll give avi.net a shot. Thx 4 teh kink!! Ooops, link! (Dr. Freud, paging Doktor …)

Seven screaming diz-busters, Clyde.

Barack Öbama Cult?

 
 

OH LWDY LAWDY tere was a aggressive brown man at teh BASEBALL GAME where a frail little 14-year-old was and HE MIGHTA ASSAULTED HER ’cause that’s THWAT THOSE PEOPLE DO YKNOW and Letterman JOKED about it OMFG worse than Hitler gtez mah smellin salts Hazel

Smarter trolls, please.

 
 

Yeah, it’s completely and utterly impossible that Letterman’s writers didn’t know which daughter went to the ball game. It’s completely and utterly impossible that a show recorded at 7 pm that features daily topical humor might have simply not checked which daughter went to the game. And of course, in his decades-spanning career, Letterman is so very well known for his jokes about underage girls getting knocked up.

Yep, NGD, you have a completely airtight case.

 
 

Sigh. Apparently none of the Palin daughters were at the game. The whole piece of shit controversy was ginned up from whole cloth (can you gin cloth?) by Palin and her male escort-cum-apologist John Ziegler.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132×8468409

 
 

Also, I heard that there were no Palins or daughters actually at Yankee Stadium (the new band-box) during the seventh inning, because the Ps had to leave to go to Caribou Barbie’s speech, so Letterman & his staff of snotty frat-boy creep jerk loser wienie (& you just know a lot of them are Jooooos[!!!] if you’re a literate wing-nut & read the credits) “writers” made the whole thing up & it wasn’t true, so they were lying about the whole thing, Fire the Joooos!!! And that sick twisted perverted old man.

P. S.: There’s some fine audio (heard it on the radio, so no link, look yrself) of losers (I think at the big 15 person demo that J2theZiegler organized) calling Letterman’s son a bastard, & insulting Letterman’s long-time girlfriend/bride.

 
 

Apparently none of the Palin daughters were at the game.

CENTRAL TO MY POINT, DAMNIT!!!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Oh, that’s perfect, CA! I can’t believe I was giving these lying fuckers the benefit of the doubt by thinking they were even basing their slanders thatmuch in reality. OK, NGD, come back and tell us how Letterman’s writers knew Willow was at the game!

 
 

Anyone remember Chelsea Clinton? She had at least turned 21 when John Derbyshire penned this lovely piece about at NRO:

Chelsea is a Clinton. She bears the taint; and though not prosecutable in law, in custom and nature the taint cannot be ignored. All the great despotisms of the past — I’m not arguing for despotism as a principle, but they sure knew how to deal with potential trouble — recognized that the families of objectionable citizens were a continuing threat. In Stalin’s penal code it was a crime to be the wife or child of an “enemy of the people”. The Nazis used the same principle, which they called Sippenhaft, “clan liability”. In Imperial China, enemies of the state were punished “to the ninth degree”: that is, everyone in the offender’s own generation would be killed, and everyone related via four generations up, to the great-great-grandparents, and four generations down, to the great-great-grandchildren, would also be killed. (This sounds complicated, but in practice what usually happened was that a battalion of soldiers was sent to the offender’s home town, where they killed everyone they could find, on the principle neca eos omnes, deus suos agnoscet — “let God sort ’em out”.)

We don’t, of course, institutionalize such principles in our society, and a good thing too. Our humanity and forbearance, however, has a cost. The cost is, that the vile genetic inheritance of Bill and Hillary Clinton may live on to plague us in the future. It isn’t over, folks. Dr. Nancy Snyderman, a “friend of the family” (how much money did she give them?) is quoted as saying that Chelsea shows every sign of following her parents into politics. “She’s been bred for it,” avers Dr. Snyderman. Be afraid: be very afraid.
http://www.nationalreview.com/derbyshire/derbyshire021501.shtml

Was John Derbyshire fired? Was there a great public outcry for his head? Did he even apologize?

All together, now: Sadly, No!

 
 

No new thread yet, huh? S’cool though.

Man, that troll is stupid.

 
 

M.B., as a peace offering here’s a link to that video, which is truly awesome:

http://wonkette.com/409245/the-letterman-protest-nuts-youve-been-hearing-about

 
 


Sigh. Apparently none of the Palin daughters were at the game. The whole piece of shit controversy was ginned up from whole cloth (can you gin cloth?) by Palin and her male escort-cum-apologist John Ziegler.

You can’t conclude from the links that no Palin daughters were actually at the game. That’s a carelessly strong conclusion.

But it really doesn’t look like there was any way the writers could have known whether or not any daughters were there based on the news reports. So they certainly couldn’t have known it was the 14 year old. So Letterman clearly didn’t intend to make a joke about the statutory rape of a 14 year old. So, case closed, as far as I’m concerned. It looks like I was flat wrong and overreacting. It was a mistake to let my emotions be manipulated to be sucked into what I should have recognized as spin. Sorry about that.

 
 

Apparently none of the Palin daughters were at the game.

I doubt that. Willow was on the trip, and just because she didn’t make it into a picture doesn’t mean she wasn’t there. One of the newspaper links refers to “Palin and her family” at the game, suggesting more than just her husband.

Let Palin have the conspiracy theories please.

 
 

Anyone remember Chelsea Clinton? She had at least turned 21 when John Derbyshire penned this lovely piece about at NRO:

I remember that piece well. I recall sending both Derbyshire and Lowry scalding e-mails about it, and I remember at least one pretty close friend canceling her subscription to the print version of the NR and making strong suggestions about where they could stick the copies she still had around her condo. Like I’ve said repeatedly: Decent people on either side of the aisle have the decency to leave the kids out of it.

 
 

The game in the 7th inning of which A-Rod “knocked up” Palin’s daughter. I conclude he was referring to the daughter who was physically at the game. Within knockin’ up distance.

Yeah, like you knew which Palin was there before somebody told you to be worked up about it. You didn’t know, and I don’t believe Letterman’s writers knew either.

And you know, if Sarah Palin hadn’t been such a hypocrite on the whole abstinence issue, she wouldn’t have been a target in the first place.

 
 

Decent people on either side of the aisle have the decency to leave the kids out of it.

That criterion excludes Governor Palin from the “decent” category just as easily as it does Mr. Letterman.

 
 

That criterion excludes Governor Palin from the “decent” category just as easily as it does Mr. Letterman.

No argument. You’ll never catch me saying Sarah Palin is anything other than a despicable, opportunistic hypocrite. Still uncool to go after her kids.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

OK, NGD. It takes a lot to admit you were wrong in a hotly-debated thread like this. I also apologize if I got a little overheated. These manufactured GOP talking points are really starting to torque me off, and you were standing in the way. I see now that you really were coming from an anti-misogyny point of view—a little overwrought maybe, but we all have our hobbyhorses. Sorry.

 
 

No worries, Battleaxe. When I’m wrong, I’m wrong. And no hard feelings on the internet.

PS–You may want to get your brakes checked out before you drive anywhere tonight. They might…someone could have….it just might be a good idea.

 
 

(can you gin cloth?)

There’s probably a joke here, but I can’t quite cotton onto it.

 
 

NO NEW THREAD IS THEFT

 
 

Chelsea…Clinton…bears the taint…the taint cannot be ignored.

Ugh, leave it to the Derb to talk about Chelsea Clinton’s taint.

 
 

Hey now, I’m sure somebody out there is very, very fond of Miss Clinton’s taint…

 
 

I was shooting for the “that rascally British quasi-pedophile John Derbyshire is at it again” vibe, mixed with a dash of the inexplicably funny word “taint”, but alas, failed. In no way did I mean to cast any aspersions on the lovely Ms. Chelsea’s underparts.

 
 

Hey now, I’m sure somebody out there is very, very fond of Miss Clinton’s taint…

‘Taint necessarily so.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Re: The story that was a joy to read ( and I did read it).
Yay Jeffrey!

The original comment is so far upscroll no one knows what I am talking about, do they?
Hey, hey! Is anyone here?
(Runs to check for new thread.)

 
 

(Runs to check for new thread.)

Posting this directly below the taint jokes may have been an error in judgment.

 
 

NGD, I’m equally impressed by your humility. Your troll status has been revoked.
When we assume bad faith we’re usually right, because there’s so much of it going around, but clearly you are not afflicted with it.

 
 

If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any new thread. How can you
have any new thread if you don’t eat yer meat?”

 
 

If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any new thread.

Deftly bridging the gap between running taint and veiled penii.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Are you the Lunchlady, too?

 
 

Still uncool to go after her kids.

Tell Gov. Palin (R-Opportunism) that. She’s the one who has shamelessly and endlessly exploited her own litter for 15 more minutes of fame. She’s an emotionally abusive parent.

Having said that, good on ya for admitting the error of your ways. All is forgiven.

Now: God in Heaven, can we have a NEW THREAD all fucking ready!

 
 

Also, Aleister Crowley PENIS.

Alas, that one isn’t nearly as good a sample as the one in the book I’m flipping through, but that’s still a pretty phantastically phallic “A”.

 
 

Peace Offering? What for?

 
Sadly, No! Hamsters
 

Dear Comrades,

As Brad has opposed our election of our ‘reformist’ candidate, (you know, the one who shot all the dissident hamsters awhile back, but shh don’t mention this, he’s really a good neo-liberal really, honest!) we have decamped to the nearest hallway to call for more nibbles and the occasional tickle from our oppressors.

We ask only for your solidarity and the occasional tub of water. When we shall return to the common drudgery so often ignored by the ruling classes in these parts, we can only speculate.

P.S THIS IS NOT A COLOUR REVOLUTION!

P.P.S BRING BACK JOSH ST. LAWRENCE AS MEDIATOR IF ALL ELSE FAILS.

kthxbai

 
 

Almost 30 hours since ovothreadization!

Sorry folks, Ho got home from a biz trip and I’m a little preoccupied….

Carry ON!

 
 

The Sadly front pagers are undoubtedly locked in a room together trying to figure out how to deal with the stupidest most cynical editorial ever published. Thank Allah the neocons are already out of power but I think they fear the uprising more than the Iranian regime does.

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Wow. Lawnguylander has ESP. Can you bend a spoon?

 
 

a dash of the inexplicably funny word “taint”

Not as funny as “shiplap”. Or as inexplicable.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Jesus Christ, but Derb is a hysterical twit.

 
 

Peace Offering? What for?

For stepping on your cues.

“Are those my cues?”

“Yes, why don’t you pick them out of the cellophane before they scorch.”

 
 

I hope, for no other reason than to shove it down Li’l Debbie’s throat,

Oral fantasies, involving Debbie, sort yourself out, man….

 
Not Looch who is never to return
 

Ewww.

 
 

I remember when I used to get upset at what a PowerLine AssHat would say. Man, that was like 4 years ago or something.

 
 

There’s probably a joke here, but I can’t quite cotton onto it.

I’m sure we can gin one up.

Peace Offering? What for?

For stepping on your cues.

Moral of the story: Mind your peace and cues.

 
 

Tell Gov. Palin (R-Opportunism) that. She’s the one who has shamelessly and endlessly exploited her own litter for 15 more minutes of fame. She’s an emotionally abusive parent.

Yea, but think about this, MzN (and on this point, NGD and I agree, despite our differences over sexism at S,N!):

If Willow, or Pillow, or Paolo, or whatever her name is this week, is being abused by Palin with all the showcasing, then why should we be adding to her pain?

I said it with Chelsea, and the Bush twins before they turned eighteen, and I’ll say it about Malia and Sasha and about Palins underage kids: Off. Limits. Period.

 
 

“Auto Gordian Knot” writes. … This application requires XviD or DivX to be installed. Application will now exit.

How can I fix it?

 
 

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