The Soft Bigotry of K-Lo Expectations
Compassionate conservatism, if it ever really existed, was snuffed out today, cremated, mingled with moldy, fetid rat droppings and scattered over the municipal trash dump of Muncie, Indiana. Poor K-Lo was busy ignoring anti-Hispanic slurs from her fellow Cornerdomites, all the while shilling for handouts in a not-so-tacit but ever-so-humiliating admission that wingnut punditry can’t survive in the free market and that unfettered capitalism, if allowed to run its course, would crush the National Review with the iron fist of market disapprobation. And then they fired her. And replaced her with Rich Lowry. And sent her back to DC.
To fully understand the humiliation involved, let’s take a look at poor K-Lo, moments before the axe, valiantly posting comments from National Review readers who reached deep into their crusty pockets to contribute a few dollars to keep Jonah from running out of Ruffles and onion dip. Like this:
From a $25 donor: “A donation from an unemployed reader and perhaps the only conservative in San Francisco. (I exaggerate — there may be eleven of us here). Thinking of moving to New Hampshire to be Steyn’s neighbor. I have had extra time to read The Corner recently, and it keeps me sane and laughing, especially while standing athwart Whole Foods, San Francisco yelling STOP!”
Now that’s dedication to your job, taking money from a victim of the economic downturn whose only remaining purpose in life is to expose the vast Demohomofascist conspiracy behind organic flatiron steaks and baby purple artichokes.
And this is her “favorite” comment:
A reader who contributed $10 said: “I just spent ten dollars on swimming pool chlorine, so I guess I could also spring for ten for NRO.”
Hey, I just spent $10 on Preparation H. I guess I could also spring for ten more to buy a few tabs of Viagra for Jay Nordlinger.
Actually, K-Lo might have already seen the writing on the wall.
In related news, it looks like the first thing Rich wants to do is allow comments at the Corner, judging from this post that disappeared from the main page but lives on in their own archives.
Goggles. Nothing. Etc.
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
Sign extends offer to do real work for compensation.
Call me with your six-figure book proposals and speaking fees, because the key to handcuffs chaining me to my desk in the Buckley Towers on Lexington Avenue has been found.
I wonder how many times she swallowed that key, and what poor underling had to keep fishing it out of her diaper.
Re: caption question…
The money in her fingers?
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
In order to be an ‘out of work prostitute’ you must have been an ‘in work prostitute’ at some point. While the American male may be deeply depraved, I have my serious doubts concerning such a proposition.
Wait – that pic is P-shopped?
Sign not misspelled?
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
Lack of misspellings, grammatical abominations on the sign.
D’oh!
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
C garter < C chevy suburban
it looks like the first thing Rich wants to do is allow comments at the Corner
Oh please oh please oh please!
I mean, they’ll end up deleting nearly all of them, but it’ll be fun to make ’em tap-dance.
I just spent ten bucks on dog food, I guess I could toss five your way… Who’s a good girl!! huh?? Who’s a good girl!
Oh and they could always hire Amy Alkon to moderate the comments. NRO needs a new shit moat.
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
The sign doesn’t say anything about blowing hobos for nickels.
Sorry dude, I couldn’t even afford to keep Pup’s old place when he finally shuffled off. My inheritance and what’s left of my trustfund barely allow me to keep up with my home and my summer home and various hotel suites for my discreet trysts. It’s so bad I had to write a somewhat embarrassing book about Mom-Mom and Pup-Pup. Oh, also you sons of bitches shitcanned me last year. Fuck you.
I’m shaken to the core.
I’m shaken to the core.
I’m laughing pretty violently too.
Nah, the tip-off to the photoshop is the fact that she’s got some money in her hand. Implying that she’s already earned it via transaction of at least one sexual act.
That seems rather unlikely even during the best of times…but money is really tight right now.
Now, what do I win?
D’oh. henry lewis beat me to it, I see.
In related news, it looks like the first thing Rich wants to do is allow comments at the Corner
Fat (and slim) chance. Ponnuru has quite clearly expressed his disdain for the idea (while, of course, hosting comment threads at the WaPo). Plus, Jonah must know that he couldn’t possibly survive if people were able to respond directly to his Corner posts.
Poor K-Lo:
I’ll still be contributing to NRO with ideas and content, and if you are an author or reader you might not notice much of a change. I’ll probably still be bugging you for pieces if you’re an author and I’ll still be traffic-copping the Corner. But I…will no longer honcho NRO on a day-by-day basis.
I can’t quite figure out what this means (in part because K-Lo has never contributed ideas to NRO, having none of her own to contribute). My guess is that it really is a cost-saving measure. I’m guessing that Lowry et al. realized the following:
(1) K-Lo is good at (a) harassing Jonah into submitting articles only slightly past deadline; (b) enthusiastically regurgitating social-con opinions while pretending that they’re facts; (c) posting links to articles from other sites; and (d) bothering readers for contributions. Other than that, she’s a useless and annoying embarrassment to readers and writers both.
(2) K-Lo is willing to do (a) through (d) for half, if not a quarter, of what she’s being paid now; while she might do them less often, she’ll still do them, because she has nowhere else to go.
So they pay less for K-Lo’s useful contributions while reducing her embarrassing contributions. Sounds like a great deal to me.
The pressing question is whether NRO can maintain the Shittiest Site title without K-Lo. Someone else might snap her up now that she’s a free agent and then contend for the championship. For instance, if Teh Perfesser hired K-Lo as his editor/geisha, Instapundit could probably take on the Corner. Or maybe she’ll team up with Pammycakes so she will have someone to make her feel better about her gravity-related decline. I might even take a bet that Fred Hiatt will pick her up and finally make the WaPo editorial page the worst thing ever in the history of journalism.
Sorry dude, I couldn’t even afford to keep Pup’s old place when he finally shuffled off. My inheritance and what’s left of my trustfund barely allow me to keep up with my home and my summer home and various hotel suites for my discreet trysts.
As opposed to the indiscreet trysts whose spawn get cut out of the will?
In all seriousness, I think it’s interesting that Buckley didn’t leave NR enough of a nest egg to keep it from having to beg for money every three months. Granted, it takes more than you’d think to keep a magazine in the black (or at least out of the red), but they don’t seem like they’re all that close to solvency.
Buckley never had that kind of money. Also he never sank too much of his own cash into his projects–growing up there were always copies of the NR around the house and even in the late 80s it was hemorrhaging cash and its editorials tended to be beg-a-thons. And it’s my understanding that, in all seriousness, Chris could not afford to keep his dad’s old place when he died. The Buckleys are/were personally comfortable, but they never had the resources to keep a vanity empire solvent and part of the reason they remained comfortable is that they never tried to do so with their own money.
The pressing question is whether NRO can maintain the Shittiest Site title without K-Lo.
You make a good point, but I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that they can remain the Shittiest Site. Unless they go under completely and disappear.
Oh my Godz, comments. Now there’s a revolutionary and staggeringly bold and daring move.
As with most conservative blogs, only those who register AND support the authors will see their comments posted.
I might even take a bet that Fred Hiatt will pick her up…
Actually, I think it was Fred who just dropped her off.
justme for the WIN!
Weepers, I’m amazed that they have to beg for money. Doesn’t our capitalist meritocracy always reward the hard work and worthiness of those who enhance society?
Is this the fall-out from the article co-claimed by Jonah and Kay Low? The one written by a lobbyist schlub and plagerized by both Kay Low and Jo-Nuh? She eats the gunbarrel in the study at the Colonialists’ Club? Ho. Hum. Who will ignore the egregious errors in fact now? Rich Lowry will provide many more episodes of humoire.
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
I still have my eyesight?
I’m sorry, but I don’t see from whence the italicized “And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?” quote originates. Someone please tell me immediately.
I do hope they let us little people talk and post comments too!!! It’ll be ever so fun!!!!
I’ll still be traffic-copping the Corner.
will no longer honcho NRO on a day-by-day basis.
to step in the footsteps
Why is it that English Only proponents have, at best, a cursory relationship with that language?
Someone please tell me immediately.
It’s the picture’s caption.
Actually, K-Lo might have already seen the writing on the wall.
Easily the most cogent piece she ever encountered during her tenure at The Corner.
If America is “a center-right nation” then why do these folks keep having to e-beg for handouts? Shouldn’t they be rolling in it? Colour me perplexed.
So Teh Corner is going to have a chief editor that uses Spell-Check? Wow, look out libz … give ’em another six years & they may even get one that can edit!
Hell, give them ten years and they’ll learn how consult the Great Gazoogle!
Who is going to honcho Iran after all the hubbub is over?
My nym came from a recent Jonah Goldberg column. Any possibility of it becoming a new nickname for Doughy?
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
Subject fully visible in photo though shot obviously not taken from orbit.
Btw, there’s something very unsettling about a bare thigh attached to K-Lo’s head. I don’t even want to think about it.
Actually, K-Lo might have already seen the writing on the wall.
Objection yeronner, assumes the defendant can read.
I offer this snapshot of one of K-Lo’s “columns, kept because it shows off her writing skills.
Skip to the second paragraph.
(Here’s what I think happened – I realize I’m being generous. K-Lo opened a
bottlebox of what might loosely be called wine, while writing the first paragraph. Since it takes K-Lo hours to write a sentence – I’ve observed her columns are short, one or two sentences usually – by the time she got to the last two, she was no longer coherent.)P.S. A second prize to the individual who can match a first draft that bad.
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
—————————
no mustache
The updated version completes the funny.
Missing comma.
Truly a K-Lo classic.
Missing comma.
Yeah, um, great job with that amending.
Can’t unsee. Bleach. eyes.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
K-Lo will land on her feet. She is the youngest of the National Review’s whiz kids (R-Lo, who started editing the NR proper at age 30 and Jo-Go who, you know, whose mom got him a job) and the future’s so bright she’s gotta wear shades. Or, the shades could be because of the hangover.
A second prize to the individual who can match a first draft that bad.
Note that Till is quoting the later draft; the first one has no period after “didn’t”, and that sentence runs-on to contain the line about the leader who had done some of that there mighty-fine leadershipping-like stuff. (That’s almost G.W. Bush at his finest, that description is!)
That this person edited anything, beyond the high school yearbook in a very poor and backward town — the mind wobbles.
The photoshopped pic of J-Lo is wrong. It’s the kind of thing a winger would do if he couldn’t think of anything more clever than calling someone a name or, say, publishing an Asian cartoon of Judge Sotomayor.
Lesley said,
June 16, 2009 at 7:26
Btw, there’s something very unsettling about a bare thigh attached to K-Lo’s head. I don’t even want to think about it.
Jesus Murphy, Lesley! Now I’ve got a mental image of K-Lo with thighs growing out of her noggin, and that’s a scary thing.
Though admittedly it couldn’t possibly be worse than the real thing.
“[I] will no longer honcho NRO on a day-by-day basis.”
I still don’t get the meaning of “honcho” here. It sounds a little bear-on-cub, or, more likely, rolling with a strap-on. While I might use such a term, but probably not, it really reads all phallic and “touch it if you dare” to me.
K-Lo has always met the challenge of being the only female in the room not by working her femininity but by drag-kinging it, by kicking it like she thinks a dude would, which would be all fun and shit if it weren’t an act based on dudes like Doughy Loadpants, who is about as masculine as the pregnant man.
This entire thread is wrong on more levels than the M. C. Escher Memorial multi-level carpark.
They say Abraham Lincoln was a fan of the “Haunch-O”, if you know what I mean, and I hope you do because if you don’t I really don’t have time to google it for you.
OK, S/N! experts, explain this to me:
“And thanks to the president, date night now costs ten times what it used to.”
I eagerly await your answer. I am baffled.
I’m sending my son to Ball State in Muncie. Fetid rat droppings will be tolerated. Compassionate Conservatism, to the extent that it exists, will not. Even the state that sends Steve Buyer (that’s BOO-YER btw Ms. Maddow) to congress has to draw the line somewheres.
Very simple… now when you go on a date in NYC, your girlfriend is going to expect armed secret service agents protecting her.
what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
The only odd thing I see is that the picture was taken outside – I can’t actually her ever leaving the basement
Oh, I see it now.
Comments? At The Corner?
[best Flounder voice] Oh boy, this is going to be GREAT! [/Flounder]
“[I] will no longer honcho NRO on a day-by-day basis.”
I still don’t get the meaning of “honcho” here.
The full term, “head honcho” will add some illumination.
She won’t be fellating writers to post more columns anymore. That’s now Rich Lowery’s job.
I expect to see a massive increase in output from NRO.
Can Rich Lowry spell and construct sentences?
Who the hell is going to give Jonah his early morning blow job, now that K-Lo is away. Lowery? Steyn ?!!?!!!
I’m grateful to everyone who has worked hard to make the first 12 years of NRO a success
Interesting interpretation of success.
I’m even more grateful for the new opportunity, to step in the footsteps (once again) of my friend and co-conspirator Jonah Goldberg to become editor-at-large of NRO.
…and it’s a slow, hanging curve over the plate….
Fish, that is the standard “Yay, I win” wingnut success default mode. I would expect no less from K-Lo.
I would only add that the title of this post is U.S. Grade-A Cherce.
wow, that’s funny. An out of work woman must be a hooker!
I’m so proud of my liberal peers. It’s good to see feminism isn’t dead after all.
Beth…or is it Sarah?…your concern is noted.
How did I know it was ‘shopped? The thighs are too thin.
Beth, guess again…the sign says she WORKED as a prostitute!
Which is essentially true.
Um, guess the Person who donated in SF is not aware that NH is a Blue state now. Even “worse” as of Jan 1, we will have marriage equality and no Ballot Proposition to repeal it. So whoever the unemployed person in SF considering moving here is, please don’t. You won’t like it, you will annoy us New Hampsters and you will bitch about the snow. (ZOMG IT SNOWS HERE AND YOU HAVE TO SHOVEL IT!!!!)
Just to be clear, K Lo would have to feed ME to do that. And not just once…for like ten, maybe fifteen years. At French Laundry.
(ZOMG IT SNOWS HERE AND YOU HAVE TO SHOVEL IT!!!!)
I suspect our Frisco correspondent knows how to do the latter…
I showed this picture to Selina and said, “You’ve got competition,” and she laughed so hard that milk came out her nose. I didn’t even see her drinking the milk. I swear, sometimes that woman scares me; I guess that’s why we hang out.
“And thanks to the president, date night now costs ten times what it used to
Red Lobster has octupled their menu prices since Obama was inaugurated?
Buckley never had that kind of money….The Buckleys are/were personally comfortable, but they never had the resources to keep a vanity empire solvent and part of the reason they remained comfortable is that they never tried to do so with their own money.
Oh, I’m not suggesting that he could’ve done it during his lifetime (at least, not while living the high life). Still, if he’d, say, liquidated everything–the yachts, the pieds-a-terre, etc.–and left it to NR, they’d be in decent shape, I think. Not entirely solvent, perhaps, but they wouldn’t have to cadge for donations quite so much.
Hey, maybe we should start up a betting pool on the next NR writer to get shitcanned. My money’s on Derb (because he’s too independent) or VD Hanson (because he seems to be developing a certain degree of dementia). I’d place a dark-horse bet on Iain Murray, Ed Whelan, or any of the other clowns on NR’s sub-blogs, but I’m never quite sure that they actually *pay* those people….
Btw, there’s something very unsettling about a bare thigh attached to K-Lo’s head.
Especially if it’s Doughy’s.
Who the hell is going to give Jonah his early morning blow job, now that K-Lo is away. Lowery? Steyn ?!!?!!!
That was always his mom’s job.
That was always his mom’s job.
I never saw her as the “service” type. More like the “service me” type if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Hell fuzzy yes it’s NSFW!
And sent her back to DC.
Where is the Corner located? Arkansas?
Can you guys like, email me the link to the real pic? Thanks.
And what was your first clue that this pic was p-shopped?
Too skinny.