Hey Yosef… Are You Ready for Senator Nathan Tabor???
Posted on January 6th, 2006 by Brad
Nathan Tabor is one of my all-time favorite wingnuts. In the past, he has advocated outlawing adultery; he has blamed abortion for illegal immigration; he has attacked Abe Lincoln and Lyndon Johnson while standing up for segregationists; and he has blamed human trafficking on pornography.
And now, he’s decided to run for North Carolina State Senate.
Yosef, would you consider running against him? Seriously, you don’t want your home state to be this humiliated, do you?
I second the nomination of Yosef.
Can we PLEASE get a horse in this race.
Or maybe we could split the nutcase vote by starting a Judson Cox write-in campaign?
I second the nomination of a horse. It seems like it might be smarter than that man.
Yosef 2006: Cuz you knows you don’t want that crazy mo-fucka doing your representing!.
You’d have my vote if I lived there.
Yosef 2006: Cuz you knows you don’t want that crazy mo-fucka doing your representing!.
You’d have my vote if I lived there.
Yeah, see, that’s the problem- we actually want Tabor to LOSE. I knew I shoulda found someone more electable 😉
…ugh! He’s proud of Ollie North.
Darryl- that ain’t the half of it. He graduated from the Pat Robertson School of Government at Regent U.
Perhaps we should dig up a Democrat and have him change his name legally to “Jesse Helms”, then let force of habit do it’s work.
I wonder if it’s coincidental that his last name backward is awfully close to “robot”. Actually “robat” is pretty damn funny to me too.
Yosef
Left for Breakfast
“Pat Robertson School of Government”????/??
Please tell me you just made that up.
It sounds worse than the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary Arts.
“Pat Robertson School of Government”????/??
Please tell me you just made that up.
(Together now…)
Sadly, No!
I’ve been a fan of Tabor for a long time too, and I never knew (until you pointed it out) that he lives a mere ten minutes from me (which in country terms is “like, right next door”).
Suddenly, local politics just got FUN for me!
Sadly, there are 55,692 registered Republican voters and 38,830 registered Democrats in this district, and the NC Democratic Party will not pour a lot of money into this district to support a Democrat.
The only question is whether or not Tabor gets the Republican nod, and in that realm, he’s going to have lots of competition.
I absolutely LOVED the immigration/abortion thing…
That was like an orgasm of wingnuttiness.
Yo-sef! Yo-sef! Yo-sef!
I want babydoll tees with “THYCWOTI For Congress” on them.
C’mon, Yosef, be a pal.
You don’t want *North* Carolina to end up looking worse than *South* Carolina, do you? You know they’ll mock you over this guy.
And my fave, right up to S.Z.’s dissection of his Yes, Mr President, Send A Spy Camera Up My Ass… For Freedom! column, was the Dead Womb Babies = Illegals thing, really. That was a freaking winner.
But man, today he outdid himself. Closet case republican would-be politicians just should *not* support domestic spying.
Bah. North Carolina deserves worse.
Tabor-atory looks about 14 years old. No wonder his thinking is not very evolved. He’s probably wrassling hormones every day.
The only question is whether or not Tabor gets the Republican nod, and in that realm, he’s going to have lots of competition.
Yeah, and he might just be too wingnutty even for NC Republicans. Time for me to get a weekly Google News Alert…
If anybody (like me) is wondering what the hell “Stop Forced Annexation” as a campaign issue is, prepare to see your answer on Stop NC Annexation, which has quite possibly the worst use of the BLINK tag in HTML that I’ve ever seen (in Firefox anyway, though IE is OK since it’s non-standards-compliant).
For a saner explanation of Annexation.
Hey Possible-Future-Republican-Spoiler-Senator Yosef, is this something else to beat Nathan Tabor over the head with or not?
Where does Nathan stand on the issues? Here’s one:
Agriculture
Agriculture plays an important role in the economy of North Carolina. I believe we must do everything we can to protect and support our agricultural industry.
That’s not a position. That’s a blatant admission that he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about, except that he thinks it would be nice if farmers would vote for him.
Brad, did you encourage Nathan to run, just to give yourself material? (If so, it was a smart move — try to get Marie to run for the Senate or something, and our wingnuttery needs will be met for the decade.)
Anyway, after looking through Nathan’s site and its scores of photos, I am forced to conclude that his campaign platform is: “I’m white, I’m Christian, I come from a wealthy family, and I’m not gay, as proven by the fact that I have an attractive wife.”
SZ- yeah, his campaign is going to be lots of fun to cover. Personally, I think he’ll get something like .000002% of the vote (i.e., he and Judson Cox), but we’ll see.
What’s with the elephant-covered-in-what-I-hope-is-snow logo on his site?
My fellow internets denizens, thank you! As you can see, I have started going by my full name as it is important to get that “FK” in there if you want the democrat vote.
I will address all the issues raised above one at a time, but I want y’all all to know that I’m here to support y’all.
(That’s right, I said “y’all” in a public forum, and there ain’t no northeasternivyleagueliberalartseducatedabortionsupportintreehugginChucklesreadindeathsquadyankeeelitists gonna make me change, ’cause that’s the way we do things in NC!)
Now, on to address the issues raised above:
Perhaps we should dig up a Democrat and have him change his name legally to “Jesse Helms”, then let force of habit do it’s work.
GG, first of all I want to thank you for your support. If it wasn’t for people like you, then I don’t think our country would have a chance. On my way here today, I passed by a father and his little girl. The father, tears in his eyes, told me, “Mr Bus…, er Sef, we’re counting on you to get things taken care of and we have faith in you.”
Now I want you to think about that poor father and his poor daughter. They are the inbodyment of the Mercan dream. And that’s why you should vote for me.
Oh, things’ll get done if you vote for the other guy… but not good things. We’re at war here, you don’t have time to be going around being named after a high school in Winston Salem.
Now bakc to GG, to answer your question, I will legall change my name, and I want you to know that you had a good idea, but it stopped a little bit short. That’s why I’m running. To take all of y’all’s good ideas and make them my own. I will change my name to Jessedale Helms Earnhardt-Petty, and have people either call me “Junior” or “Natureboy” in order to represent all the brightest starts from our fair State.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and may God continue to bless 3bulls and SadNo.
Next issue:
You don’t want *North* Carolina to end up looking worse than *South* Carolina, do you? You know they’ll mock you over this guy.
NC would never try to secede to become the Holy Republic of Jesusland.
But what I would do to continue our fine tradition of being better than SC, is to annex both Charleston and Hilton Head. I would convince Liddy Dole to attach a rider to a defense spending appropriations bill in the Us Senate to allocate funds to build a bridge from just north of “South of the Border” on the NC side of I-95 directly to Charleston.
Now I know this point is going to lead us to the issue of annexation which was also mentioned above. I’ll address that issue shortly.
Thank you, and may God continue to bless 3bulls, SadNo, WOC, and the rest of y’all.
Huzzah! Yomentum has arrived and is here to stay, cobagz!!!
The tECHINDA asks about Annexation and Tabor’s use of this as a hot-button campaign issue:
Hey Possible-Future-Republican-Spoiler-Senator Yosef, is this something else to beat Nathan Tabor over the head with or not?
There is no simple answer to this one actually, so let me make one up. Short-term, yes. Long-term, no.
Let me start with the long-term part of the issue. Forced annexation has been happening in NC Cities for just about as long as I can remember. The first time I actually remember hearing about it was when Tobaccoville and King each incorporated themselves as townships to keep Winston-Salem from annexing them as part of that great city. People hated the mayor of Winston-Salem back then and she was a republican! Charlotte is currently one of the leaders of Annexation in our great State. 2 years ago, Charlotte became officially larger than Boston in terms of population living within city limits (not the metropolitan area, mind you.) The reason for this is annexation, which also adds to the hated term “urban sprawl.” It an now take over an hour to get from one end of Charlotte to the other without leaving city limits, and staying only on major thoroughfares. The cities have higher taxes than surrounding areas. So someone living just outside of Charlotte city limits for example, may have chosen that location for all the convenience of living close to the city, but without any of the huge property taxes. But in 2007, Charlotte can decide they need more taxes and rather than raise them again (which they do about twice a month) they will simply annex an outlying neighborhood of about 10,000 people, thereby raising those people’s taxes.
Now I know all y’all libs are thinking taxes aren’t inherently bad and are needed to provide for programs meant to help people. And I’ll agree with you about that. However, the cities in NC don’t use taxes for these purposes. Last year in Charlotte, property taxes were increased at the same time the city announced that they couldn’t afford to repair roads.
What they could afford to do, however, was build a stadium that the voters nixed in a referendum for an NBA team that no one wanted, and which charges enough for tickets that msot folks can’t afford to go.
It’s for reasons like this that annexation, in the long term must be stopped.
However, for this race, I will take the short-term approach, which is that Charlotte still has the inferiority complex next to Atlanta, and if we’re ever going to beat them in terms of size, we must continue to annex constantly. It’s better to give people a reason to talk trash to Atlanta than it is to save them money.
Thank you, and may God continue to bless etcetera etcetera.
Where does Nathan stand on the issues? Here’s one:
Agriculture
Thank you for that Kristin. As Tabor points out, agriculture does play an important role in the state. However, many in the state have taken a step backwards in the past decade or so that the Tobacco industry has come under fire. Fortunately, the state has been of some help to the former tobacco farmers by encouraging and helping them to develop new crops. One of the biggest and most important new crops replacing the old tobacco fields has been the grwoing of Wine Grapes and the increase in wineries in the state. NC is now the 10th state in terms of Wine production, and many of it’s wines have started winning awards.
These wineries bring attention, and more importantly, tourism to our state. The dollars from winery tourism adds to the state budget. The great wines are something to make our citizens proud. And most of the local winemakers have even taken to adding a touch of NC flare to their stocks, such as the Fine Swine Wine produced by Childress Vineyards, designed to be an appropriate wine selection to accompany Barbecue (and as mentioned at 3B!, I am unabashedly pro-pork.)
I would propose programs to encourage existing and new wineries to increase their production, while not decreasing their quality. After all, if we can beat Atlanta and California, we’d rock as a state.
That said, I would also encourage all Wineries to offer Krispy Kreme Glazed Doughnuts as palates cleansers in their tasting rooms in order to conitue the fine NC tradition of the most delicious doughnuts on earth.
thanks, yadda yadda yadda.
What’s with the elephant-covered-in-what-I-hope-is-snow logo on his site?
Well, I’m not going to stoop low enough as to speculate what the white material is, but the shape is that of the state of NC. As for whether that might be something nasty, I refuse to speculate.
Hey Kman, where you live at? WS? G-boro? Colfax?
Thanks, Brad, you ruined my world today. I knew we had some crazy ass people in this state, but not Nathan!
NO!!!!!1!!
And, unfortunately, I can’t vote against him.
Agriculture
Agriculture plays an important role in the economy of North Carolina. I believe we must do everything we can to protect and support our agricultural industry.
“The topic of my speech today is Agriculture. Agriculture plays an important role in the economy of North Carolina. In fact, the importance of agriculture’s role in North Carolina’s economy is very high. Without agriculture, North Carolina’s economy would not be the economy we have today in North Carolina due to agriculture. The economy of North Carolina would be very different without agriculture. It is very important that we protect and support our agricultural industry, which is so important to North Carolina’s economy. That is why supporting and protecting agriculture should be high on our list of priorities when we think of how we can help the economy of North Carolina. Because if we don’t support and protect our agricultural industry, then we may not have any agricultural industry at all, and the very important role it plays in our economy will be lost. That is why I believe we must do everything we can to protect and support our agricultural industry.”
Those are strong points and some really important issues pertaining to agriculture in North Carolina.
Dan Someone defeats Mr. Tabor in the “agriculture” section of the debate by the sheer force of his verbosity. I award Mr. Someone five points.
The next topic is veteran’s affairs. Mt. Tabor, you have the floor:
Tabor:” I believe we owe a tremendous debt to those Americans who have sacrificed and are currently sacrificing so much in protecting and defending our country.”
…
Are you finished, Mr. Tabor? Yes? Already? OK then, Mr. Someone, you have the floor. Next will be Mr. Yosef.
How old are his kids, cuz he totally plagarized that Agriculture write-up from a grade schooler.
I believe we owe a tremendous debt to those Americans who have sacrificed and are currently sacrificing so much in protecting and defending our country. The sacrifices of these brave Americans, including in many cases the sacrifice of their lives, is very important to the defense of our country, and to our protection. Without these Americans, and their willingness to make such sacrifices, our country would be undefended, and our would lack the protection that comes from the sacrifices made by these Americans. And so the debt we owe these Americans for their sacrifices — the ones they have made and the ones they are making currently — is tremendous, in terms of how much we owe them for defending and protecting our country by sacrificing so much. And that is why I believe we owe a tremendous debt to those Americans who have sacrificed and are currently sacrificing so much in protecting and defending our country.
At 29, Nathan ran for Congress (NC5) in an eight way primary. He raised over $850,000 and received over 7,500 votes in the most expensive primary in American history. Nathan?s supporters included Dick Armey, Ed Meese, Steve Moore, Art Laffer, Pat Robertson, Bob Jones III, Congressmen Robert Aderholt, Congressmen Trent Franks, Congressmen Jim Ryun, Beverly and Tim LaHayeDr. Jerry Falwell dubbed him the ?young Jesse Helms.?
And this is supposed to make people want to vote for him? Only in North Carolina….
Oops, that’s what I get for not reading the whole thing, as so wisely advised by my betters. That was pretty well extrapolated from the quality of his actual statements, though; the illegal immigration folderol reads similarly.
Well, Mr. Tabor seems like a fine candidate, and really, really heterosexual and everything.
BUT…
…he’s no 2-legged dog!
And it looks like he had to spend $113.33 for every vote he got when he ran for Congress.
You should start calling him Nathan Tabortion
you fellas still do not get it-there is the big cities,hollywood and you-nathan is like the rest of america -patriotic,religous,normal,common sense-that is why we have the president,congress,senate,supreme court,majority of gov and state offices -the more educated people get the more weidos like you lose influence-it is not only in nc but the sea of red on political maps-even when you look at the calf map of counties,it is red-we are moving and there is nothing you can do to stop us-go smoke you dope,look at pornos and pretend that america thinks like you,one more supreme court nomination to go and then you are finished