From The Corner:

It is a privilege to present the following excerpt from Very, Very Happy‘s classic post, The Corner Unleashed:

Goldberg: Who do you think? I kicked it down the chain to Robinson. I’m a busy man. I got things to do. Know’um’sayin’?

Dreher: Word up!

[laughter]

Goldberg: Um…’Word up’ does mean ‘I agree’, right?

Dreher: Yeah, I think so. Doesn’t it?

Goldberg: I could have sworn that it did.

Dreher: Shit. Maybe we should ask someone? I mean, messing up something that basic would conflict with our trendy image as the cool young kids of conservatism, wouldn’t it?

Goldberg: Yeah, seriously. Shit, you got the clicker? Flip over to BET. They talk like that all the time there! I bet we can decipher the meaning from context clues.

Dreher: Good idea!

[silence, TV noises]

Goldberg: Shizzle my what?

Dreher: Dude, black people confuse the shit out of me.

Goldberg: This isn’t even English!

Dreher: Screw this. I can’t even spell half these peoples’ names.

Goldberg: Seriously. Find some news, would you?

Dreher: On it.

[pause]

Dreher: Look, see? There’s a black person I can understand. Thank God for Lester Holt.

Goldberg: Lester Holt speaks so well, doesn’t he? Damn, I wish he was on Fox.

Dreher: Yeah…we need more blacks on Fox. We can’t leave it all up to…up to…say, what’s the name of that black anchor on Fox?

Goldberg: Oh, you mean the black guy?

Dreher: Yeah! Him!

Goldberg: Um…dammit, it’s right on the tip of my tongue.

Dreher: Something with an ‘S’…

Goldberg: Sam…Steve…Sm- Smith! That’s it – oh, dammit, I was thinking of Shepard Smith.

Dreher: Fuck! That’s who I was thinking of too. Why do you suppose that is?

Goldberg: Well, he is pretty tan – even in winter! Do you suppose he’s half black?

Dreher: No, I think he hits the tanning beds too much.

Goldberg: Hmm…maybe. I’ll write a Corner post later, see if anyone knows if Shepard is part black. I’ll say it’s for an article or something.

Dreher: Good idea. Hey! There’s Willie the Intern! Hey, Willie the Intern, come here!

Willie: Whatup, guys.

Goldberg: ‘Whatup’! Perfect! So, Willie the Intern, here’s your first journalistic task of the day…

Willie: Okay, seriously Goldberg –

Goldberg: Mr. Goldberg.

Willie: [pause] Mr. Goldberg. My name is Willie. Just Willie.

Goldberg: Whatever, Willie the Intern. Anyway, check this out. If someone said ‘word up’ to you, what would you think it meant?

Willie: ‘Word up’? No one says that anymore, except maybe middle-age white guys trying to be cool.

[silence]

Willie: What? What’d I say?

Dreher: Go take these donuts to my office.