Nothing Exemplifies the Virtues of Conservatism Like Killing Dark-Skinned People

Thanks to S.Z. for pointing me to Human Events Online’s Top 10 Movies for College Republicans. My personal favorite is #9:

9. Zulu – Heroism in the face of overwhelming odds, 139 Welshmen fight off 4,000 Zulu soldiers.

Never mind that the Welshmen were invading their fucking land. Killing dark-skinned people is always a good time!


Comments: 32


Interesting view of “courage” to. Blowing the hell out of a bunch of archers with 16 pound guns doesn’t exactly scream profiles in courage to me.


Gotta also love their pick “Lean on Me”. No better way to clean up an inner city school than with a baseball bat and a bullhorn! Yesssiree!!

Well, in reality ol’ Joe Clark came under fire for under fire for his extreme disciplinary tactics. While director of the Essex County Youth Detention Facility in Newark, NJ, Bullhorn Joe put teenagers in handcuffs and leg irons as punishment.

Nice, Eh?


yeah, #3 is good. Great break-out role for a young River Phoenix. I particually liked the buddy film where he played a young man struggling with narcolepsy- a great rags to riches story.


they have pcu as #10. odd, as the college republicans (led by david spade) were one of the groups that got slammed the most.

“balls, meet shaft!”


Can you blow me where the pampers is?


I liked this:

4. Cheaper by the Dozen

A fun family film extolling more virtue than Hollywood has produced in a long time.

5. Death Wish


They do love those revenge pics, don’t they. That’s why fundy folks have such a hard on for the second coming, they think it’ll be “The Passion II: Jesus Kicks Ass.”


After his family is destroyed by thugs, Charles Bronson decides to teach criminals the lesson that the liberals can?t through courtrooms or mediation.
I’m not sure that was the movies *exact* tagline… I bet Steven Segall is a great republican too

Also, how did I know they would have “Red dawn” in there somewhere.


I’m surprised The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This!* didn’t make the list…

(* = greetz to Family Guy, “North by North Quahog”)


Zulu is the only film in the list that I liked.

This is not excusing British Imperialism, but;

2) I think, at the time, the Zulus were doing their own bit of invading in Natal.

3) Ed Marshall, are you writing about Rorkes Drift (the movie’s setting)? No 16-pounders there. And unless I’m mistaken, no Zulu archers. Most were spearmen, but many had rifles (not however from Isandhlwana, where the Zulus soundly beat a British force).


Actually I can count to 2. I swear.


Rob- yeah, the Zulus were far from perfect in this regard. Even so, I think heroism derives from resisting imperial aggression, not participating in it.


“6. Red Dawn

Communists invade the heartland, and a band of boys take to the hills and start an insurgency against the invaders.”

“Insurgency”, “invaders”, where have I heard that before? O, irony.


Jesus Christ, the basis of all Western thought and tradition…

Next week in Human Events: “Plato Who?” and “Screw you, Aristotle!”


I’ve noticed most of Western culture, both historical and present, have tons of stories about 15 of their people defeating an army of 25,000 barbarians or something like that. It really reinforces the ‘we’re so persecuted even though we own your ass’ image wingnuts can’t get enough of. Not sure if non-Western cultures have their own versions of the same – anyone know?


Brad, “heroism” is one of those words I have a real hard time with. I just thought it was a good movie, and not *quite* as pro-Empire as many people make out (and certainly not for it’s time).

Also, M. Caine’s first film role, and the only one (?) where ‘e played a toff. Priceless.


I’m disappointed because they didn’t seem to spend much time coming up with their list. Is this REALLY the best list of 10 movies with a conservative message they can come up with? I’ve seen most of these movies, and not one strikes me as particularly “conservative”. In fact, I got the impression that some gave a more progressive message (Lean on Me- build a community, and good things happen, Passion’s antiestablishment message) and some give horrible messages (Red Dawn: terrorism is okay as long as it’s AMERICAN terrorism done by horrible actors, Death Wish/Dirty Harry: In those few cases you’re absolutely, positively certain of someone’s guilt in a horrible crime, it’s reasonable to slay them as long as you have packed some good quips in your knapsack).

Although, to be honest, I can’t think of too many movies with a good conservative message, maybe because there are so few good conservative messages. Maybe a pro-war movie like We Were Soldiers or a “family is more important that rules/law” movie like The Godfather or a Clancy movie- pick one, any one.

So how about a list of the top 10 movies liberals are watching? Maybe with a rule preventing documentaries since they’re too easy.


I was hoping Starship Troopers would have made the HE list. Nothing says “Republican” like mindless propaganda, killing “bugs”, and Doogie Howser dressed as an SS officer.

Although I loved him in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.


Never mind that the Welshmen were invading their fucking land. Killing dark-skinned people is always a good time!

Hey, but you can’t question our lads’ bravery. Those spears were bloody sharp.

-The Rev. Schmitt.


It always amazes me that the British managed to hang on to their Empire as long as they did, considering they were constantly getting large numbers of their soldiers slaughtered by the people they were trying to subjugate. British pluck, eh?


I liked Red Dawn as the kind of movie that was pretty funny if you were buzzed. Stuff like Cuba invading – no, not Miami or Key West, but Colorado! Avenge me, son!


Wasn’t The Fountainhead made into a movie? Why isn’t that on their list. It couldn’t possibly be any worse than PCU or Red Dawn. Frankly the best conservative movie is probably Wall Street. Greed is good, y’all!


Henry- read Guns Germs & Steel. The Brits were just ruthlessly efficient and had vastly superior technology.


PCU is popular with wingnuts because it represents a strawman exaggeration of college PCism from ten years ago that feeds into their self-image as persecuted iconoclasts resisting against evil liberal groupthink. The fact that Republicans are the assholes in that movie is immaterial, because complaining about ‘policital correctness’ amounts to bitching that it is no longer acceptable to offend people to their faces without being considered an asshole for it.

Timmah – actually, I bet that Seagal isn’t a Republican at all. His movies of the Reagan/Bush I era are remarkably free from the usual repressed homosexuality manifesting itself as fascism that characterizes most movies from Arnold/Chuck/Sly, etc. Above the Law features Seagal fighting CIA agents who are selling drugs to fund Latin American terrorists, and even takes a few shots at Nixon. That’s almost sacrilege, especially nowadays, where the standard of moral correctness has become the degree to which one’s actions are sanctioned by the Republican party and/or the President (should he happen to be Republican, of course.) Then, in Under Seige, he tells a young soldier to question authority and think for himself. Because of this, Seagal is told that he ‘hates America.’

Of course, it’s possible Seagal has pulled a Dennis Miller, but based on his older movies he is a real lefty, at least among action stars.


I liked Zulu (haven’t seen it in a while, though).
While heroism is, I think, overused much these days (for example, while serving your country overseas is great, and is a real sacrifice for most people, that doesn’t automatically make you a hero), I think given the context of the situation it would be fair to label those Welsh as having a “heroic” stand- after all they were heavily outnumbered and fought well for their survival- it’s not as if they chose to be there, after all. In proper context, it’s a celebration of a group’s fight for their own (and their companions’) survival.
Less so than, say, Jarhead, but certainly that element is there.


Segal was also heavy into environmentalism. I think one of his movie ends with him dumping Michael Caine into a vat of oil.


While the Right undoubtedly admires Zulu for the wrong reasons, it is a fine film that treats the Zulus with great respect, and doesn’t admire the British cause but rather the courage of ordinary men in war. But if you want a film that takes a more overtly anti-imperialistic view, see the same writer/director’s prequel Zulu Dawn (the Zulus win that one).


Ah yes, Red Dawn. What a steaming pile.


I thought they were Scots, they were wearing kilts you know.


Um, this isn’t a list of movies for college Republicans, it purports to be a list of what they are watching.


“The fact that Republicans are the assholes in that movie”

“in that movie” is superfluous.


A man for All Seasons

Thomas More defies the will of the King by refusing to attest to the sacredness of the King?s marriage, and pays with his life.

A man puts his own conscience ahead of the will of the government, particularly a tyrannical, petty, selfish king (who was only trying to maintain the stability of the rule of law).

Lean on Me

Didn’t Joe Clark lock fire doors to keep control of who entered the school? Better toasted than snorting.

Red Dawn

No doubt they root for the liberators to capture and torture the juvenile delinquents… enemy combatants.

The Outlaw Josey Wales

Respect for the rignts of Native Americans? Casting aspersions on the motives, morals, ethics, and virtue of a victorious invading force?


Don’t the fascist Young Repub types get their asses handed to them at the end? As funny as I find this movie, it has enough straw to complete phase I of a porcine Leavittown.



(comments are closed)