You obstruct progress with the regressive troglodytes you have, not the mouth breathers you might wish to have.

Ah. So they don’t NEED to eliminate the Dept of Ed – they just make it too goddamn dangerous to go to school in the first place. Wheee! Home schooling for everyone!

I hope they keep running with this.

In the neighborhood where I live, there is now sidewalk on the major adjacent major road (silly suburban decision from long ago). More sidewalks is something both the conservatives and liberals on my block agree on.

It’s odd how when Republicans are faced with problem that directly affects them that they start agreeing with us.

Real ‘Merkin children die under the wheels of an SUV rather than ride on one of those faggy bike paths.

“now sidewalk” = “no sidewalk”

Also.

As the parent of a seven-year-old, I’m already sweating out college costs; I can’t imagine the lifetime savings achieved by the Republican “proposal.”

Strangely, I’m not entirely grateful.

Maybe this explains their opposition to sex ed and family planning, too. have a bunch of children, and what’s the big deal if you lose one or two to tire tread.

I’m detecting an emerging parrot theme here at S,N!

Conservatives stand staunchly opposed to abortion, so the supply of kids available to be crushed by cars will not be depleted.

Increasingly, the Republican Party renders me redundant.

Also,

Eliminating retirement benefits for federal workers who retire before age 62 to save perhaps $267 million a year.

Did you see “The Parrots of Guantanamo Bay?”

$23 billion in spending cuts over the next five years.

Is this the start of the Republican War on Rounding Errors in the Budget?

Um. So those two proposals are saving, um, about 500 million between them. So you kinda have to wonder where the other 27,500 million is supposed to come from, and if these two are merely the least awful of what’s being proposed. The mind croggles.

Oops, $22,500 million.

I remembered there were two curves in the second number, that’s something.

Now at this point, I expected the GOP to come up with a list of cuts that involve obscure research grants to study polar bear sex or something along those lines.

The funny thing about those lulz ur study says duckz lik water stories is that the research is almost never actually trivial or unimportant. But it’s one of those welfare queen / McDonald’s coffee case sort of memes (I hate that word, but it fits) that the public seems to love.

Um. So those two proposals are saving, um, about 500 million between them. So you kinda have to wonder where the other 27,500 million is supposed to come from, and if these two are merely the least awful of what’s being proposed. The mind croggles.

The other $27500 million is coming from Ronald Reagan, that’s where.

Oh, and their proposal would heroically end the deficit forever, unlike the treasonous Obama who lyingly presented only twice as much as significant budgetary changes.

I’m really tired of this stupid story being printed by the media every time an economic slump happens – it’s excusable for people, and some particularly stupid politicians, to think of national economies the way they do of domestic economies and try and treat the problem as if it’s one of balancing the checkbook, but by and large the fiscal-policy push is an effort to justify irresponsible behavior by the government – more or less the equivalent of responding to your children coming down with a severe infection by cutting down your hours by 25% to reduce the amount of money they’re spending on potentially contaminated food. It is possible to construct a bizarre alternate reality in which this represents a sensible way of doing things, but it’s not reasonable in the slightest that anyone can get away with saying “Welp, kids are sick, time to take a month off and head down to the dog track” and treating that as a self-sustaining argument.

Why the fuck aren’t people fucking pointing out that spending is how the government puts money into the economy? Why is not being pointed out that some good would be done by literally dumping receipts out the window of the Treasury? Because what we need is to be disciplined and punished for being bad home economists. Naughty working people!

The funny thing about those lulz ur study says duckz lik water stories is that the research is almost never actually trivial or unimportant.

Yes, but they can be made to sound unimportant. Who the hell thinks protecting school kids from being slaughtered by cars is a poor use of taxpayer funds?

Did you see “The Parrots of Guantanamo Bay?”

No, but I saw this one that made me laugh until I cried.

So, the party that want’s to cut goverment spending and reduce “big goverment”, suggest that budget is cut by… about 0.1%?

Damn, they are not kidding. Huge cuts.

What is their next bold move?

Can we empanel a Citizens Grand Appalachian Jury of Monopoly Players and Rhythmic Bluegrass Teeth-grinders to charge the Republicans with presentment for being so lame in their BUDGET FAIL?

Why the fuck aren’t people fucking pointing out that spending is how the government puts money into the economy?

‘Cause that money is infected with gummint Cooties.

Touch it and you’ll get ’em.

Yes, but they can be made to sound unimportant. Who the hell thinks protecting school kids from being slaughtered by cars is a poor use of taxpayer funds?

Who the hell thinks teaching kintergarteners that it’s inappropriate for strangers to touch them where they don’t want to be touched is perverse and evil?

I tried to explain that when it happened, but I think part of the problem is that we’re kind of used to having to deal with their haggling and gaggling as arguments made in good faith. It’s just about making civic life difficult for enough people that the state loses legitimacy at anything but killing foreigners and pumping up housing prices in exurbia.

Just you wait until the Infant Lollipop Confiscation proposal.

Pedestrian safety for children is theft.

What is their next bold move?

They single-handedly revived the flagging dairy industry by ordering a big baked Alaska. Rumor has it the step after that is to renew our sense of moral purpose with our high, fine memories of Morning in America with a quick wank to a very special episode of Diff’rent Strokes by Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

the research is almost never actually trivial or unimportant. But it’s one of those welfare queen / McDonald’s coffee case sort of memes (I hate that word, but it fits) that the public seems to love.

Fruit fly research!!

I’m guessing they cynically know that people will blame their local government for potholes and road maintenance. Also why they don’t and will never give a shit about crumbling sewers, bridges and so forth.

PENIS!

It’s a good thing that Obama has already worked through his identity issues. Otherwise he might get confused at simultaneously being Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain.

I think I’d like to see an SNL skit on that inner struggle.

Pedestrian safety for children is theft.

Okay, we need the crazy Lego-Gault guy to do a video explaining how safety is a limited good and the market will sort this all out.

I never understand this. I work at the VA, and I’m confronted with government waste on a daily basis. I could easily write up a lengthy list of cuts that would save millions of dollars at this facility alone, all without any significant effect on patient care. Hell, I could probably save millions just by firing all the useless and incompetent dinks who populate the place. And yet *this* is the shit they cut? I don’t get it. It’s almost as though they *like* being caricatured as the party that pushes old ladies into the street and snatches food away from hungry children.

This country not only needs massive spending cuts, it also needs a Constitutional Amendment to Balance the Budget. Spending on unconstitutional programs has gotten out of control. Most Cabinet Level Departments with the exceptions of the State Department, Defense Department, Justice Department, Treasury Department and Homeland Security Department should be abolished.

In addition many if not most Federal Agencies need to be cut, chief among these are OSHA, the FDA, the BATF, and the IRS just to name a few of these bureaucratic nightmares that for the sake our Republic and our Constitution need to go.

We also need term limits for members of both Houses of Congress. A maximum of two terms for Senators and Congressman would be most sufficient and would insure they remain true to the grassroots and constituients who elected them. And most importantly they would stay true to Our Constitution. In addition the President should also recieve a line item veto to insure that pork or any unrelated programs would not be attatched to a Bill.

These Conservative Reforms would be the most effective way to restore Our Constitutional Republican form of Government of the type which Our Framers intended.

Talk about Change you can Believe in!

Fruit fly research!!

That is so silly. Everyone knows that there are no homosexual flies.

We need a better opposition party. Is anyone thinking of reconstituting the Whigs?

Actually, the current GOP leadership seems intent on becoming the Know-Nothings, so maybe they could cede the name “Republican” to another group?

It’s almost as though they *like* being caricatured as the party that pushes old ladies into the street and snatches food away from hungry children.

Hey, a guy has to have a gig, you know?

Surely, the smart kids can avoid getting hit by cars, thus, less pedestrian pathways will increase American test scores!

Also, rich people are more likely to have their children driven to school, thus, this will disproportionally kill poor children, which may end up decreasing welfare payments.

But, the important thing to remember is that if little 12 year old Suzie gets raped on the way to school, the law should require her to carry the rape baby to term.

It’s almost as though they *like* being caricatured as the party that pushes old ladies into the street and snatches food away from hungry children.

Well, they all tend to be bottoms as it is.

The funny thing about those lulz ur study says duckz lik water stories is that the research is almost never actually trivial or unimportant. But it’s one of those welfare queen / McDonald’s coffee case sort of memes (I hate that word, but it fits) that the public seems to love.

Oh yeah, no question. Part of the problem is that the media is really terrible at reporting science. Another part is that a lot of the scientific observations reported by the media are small parts of ongoing studies. So you’ll see a news story about how sheep respond to the color green (just made that example up), and inevitably the people around you are sighing and saying things like, “Why did we need to know this, exactly?” and, “They actually pay scientists to study this shit?” and “Why aren’t these scientists curing cancer or something?”

I find the why-aren’t-you-curing-cancer meme especially interesting, because no scientist seems to be immune to it, whether or not he or she actually works in medicine. You can be an astronomer studying distant nebulae, and somebody will wonder why you aren’t curing cancer instead.

I propose the Cthulhlu Opposition Party. When confronted with two evils, why choose the lesser?

You can be an astronomer studying distant nebulae, and somebody will wonder why you aren’t curing cancer instead.

They don’t know the difference between astronomy and astrology.

I know otherwise (well, mostly) reasonable people who have a thing up their ass about eliminating the Dept. of Education.

I can’t ever get a straight answer out of them as to why it’s so bad or such a waste of money – sometimes it’s about local control of things, sometimes it’s just general dislike of Government. On the other hand, I can’t really articulate what it is that the Dept. of Education actually does – and this is despite working in academia and having done work on projects funded by DOE grants.

Maybe a little positive advertisement for government agencies might be a good thing. There don’t have to be ads or whatever, but maybe a good elevator pitch about what it is they’re responsible for and a slightly more agressive schedule of press flaks going on the TV to discuss things would help.

I’m detecting an emerging parrot theme here at S,N!

*RAWKwheehoo*

Stop funding toopid stuff like “volcano research”, toopid libz

“#

PeeJ said,

June 4, 2009 at 19:49

Fruit fly research!!

That is so silly. Everyone knows that there are no homosexual flies.
”

Well duh. It’s for studying flying fruit.

Republicans are suggesting killing a program that pays for building sidewalks, bike paths and crossing guards as part of the Safe Routes to Schools program.

So?

The ‘modern’ GOP has been around since 1947, who knew?

It’s a good thing that Obama has already worked through his identity issues. Otherwise he might get confused at simultaneously being Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain.

QOTD. Leftist talking heads need to point this shit out.

Also, Chamberlain was a Conservative party PM should be noted whenever wingers bring him up. It’s petty, but if Chamberlain was in a party named “liberal” (even a European, market liberal party) they would never ever let us forget it.

But, the important thing to remember is that if little 12 year old Suzie gets raped on the way to school, the law should require her to carry the rape baby to term.

My mother was sexually assaulted by an eighteen-year-old neighbor boy around the time Roe happened, at age 10. Thank God nothing came of it, and even if it had neither the state of Nevada nor my grandparents would have balked at abortion, but I’ve always had two things I’ve wanted to say to these chucklefucks:

a) Can you possibly put yourself in her place, or the doctor’s, or my parents, and imagine going through anything like that, and then tell me you wouldn’t be liable to kill someone if the state-mandated protocol was “Congratulations, sweetums, you’re gonna be a mommy!”? Would you do that to your own child? You know, because she should have thought about the consequences before being overpowered by a family friend and all.
b) You know those asinine “thank your mother for not aborting you” bumper stickers? Yeah, a regressive abortion regime would have prevented any kind of stable relationship between my parents (which started around a year after that and has continued to this day), and you woulda aborted the three of us. Funny how playing God doesn’t always work out for you, huh? It’s almost as if you’re not infallible.

Fruit fly research!!

Overhead projectors!!!

‘It’s a good thing that Obama has already worked through his identity issues. Otherwise he might get confused at simultaneously being Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain.”

Obambi McHitler will invade Poland and then surrender to himself without a fight right after he outlaws all religion and institutes Sharia Law. Bookmark this libs.

I believe they are trying to resurrect the Whigs, actually…

Did it include cool little bubble graphics that show an unemployed construction worker, a bicyclist splattered across three lanes and a kid embedded in the grille of an SUV?

On the other hand, I can’t really articulate what it is that the Dept. of Education actually does – and this is despite working in academia and having done work on projects funded by DOE grants.

This would be my problem with it. It’s responsible for the student loan problem, and…what else, exactly? What’s it doing with all those billions of dollars it gets? At the risk of sounding like some fusion of Reagan, Dole, and Ron Paul, I honestly don’t know why we need a cabinet-level agency to do whatever they do.

Re: the Dept of Ed. I too am not sure what it does, but being Canadian and all, I never gave it much thought. Canada has no federal ministry of Education as such, but then even our wingnuttiest province (Alberta) would only be in the middle of the pack of wingnuttery if it was a US state. (Alberta would have voted for Kerry.) So there may not be an ironclad need for a federal/national department as such in general, but then there’s Alabama and Mississipi and Utah…

I suspect that’s why the DofEd is needed – to keep the Cave trolls in line and not teaching kids that the earth was a giant flat turtle until Jesus’ farts made it round 2000 years ago.

Shorter GOP

“Safe Children are Theft”

This parrot expresses my feelings toward the Republicans perfectly.

You can be an astronomer studying distant nebulae, and somebody will wonder why you aren’t curing cancer instead.

Why isn’t EVERYBODY curing cancer? It’s very simple. Just try lots of different chemicals and plant materials on it. Maybe stuff from a rainforest, but without inconveniencing the developers who need that land to do something capitalistic.

Cancers are all alike, right?

This highlights a general problem. Lots of government stuff runs really poorly, but we liberals spend so much time defending their very existence that we can’t ever get around to improving shit to actually work they way it was intended.

If the Democratic congress puts out a bill to fix Department X, it will have some reasonable fixes, and then Senator Ignoramus (R-KS/UT/OK) will attach an amendment that also reduces that department’s budget to 0 and the whole bill just dies.

Part of this is of course the natural result of government so often being run by people who hate it and want it to fail: They do a shitty job if for no other reason than because succeeding at something would prove them wrong.

Well duh. It’s for studying flying fruit.

They let those homersessuals on airplanes????

Then there’s this:

Eliminating retirement benefits for federal workers who retire before age 62 to save perhaps $267 million a year.

Horrible, and another way to try to screw career professionals who generally aren’t making huge salaries, anyway. I grew up in the DC area, and generally, government workers retiring before 62 are already taking a cut in any beneifts – and if they’re retiring because, say, they’ve gotten injured or disabled, this would be a great way to kick ’em when they’re down. Funny, they haven’t said anything about billions in wasted defense spending, have they?

Obambi McHitler will invade Poland and then surrender to himself without a fight right after he outlaws all religion and institutes Sharia Shania Law. Bookmark this libs.

Fixxy!

This would be my problem with it. It’s responsible for the student loan problem, and…what else, exactly?

It attempts to explain the somewhat cockamamie US system to the world, distributes grants, assembles research… Really there has to be some agency that presents a picture of overall US education abroad, to congress and the president, and back to the states. But yeah, not sure why it should be so well funded if it’s so weak (although I’m happy to see the money spent if it largely gets disbursed again).

A while ago I was at a conference where some DoE guy held forth and said a bunch of dumb and alarming things. The consensus was that it was a good thing those guys didn’t have any power.

It’s responsible for the student loan problem, and…what else, exactly?

Ensuring enforcement of NCLB

Fruit fly research!!

Overhead projectors!!!

Oh great! Drosophila bukkake!

We need a better opposition party.

We already have one. It’s called the Blue Dog Coalition.

They let those homersessuals on airplanes????

No, They fly because they’re fruits. Fruit is another word for fairy, fairies have wings, QED.

I’m surprised you didn’t know that

How dumb do they think the public are? The projected deficit is $1tn. These cuts would save less than $5bn a year. That’s 0.5% of the fucking gap. It’s not even statistically significant.

Shania Law

Views, newsletter, blarf blarf.

But yeah, not sure why it should be so well funded if it’s so weak (although I’m happy to see the money spent if it largely gets disbursed again).

That’s the problem, innit? If they’re not doing much, it’s because they don’t have much muscle. Theoretically, they should be establishing some kind of baseline for primary education throughout the US: creating standards, and funding schools. NCLB was a miserable, heavy-handed and stingy attempt at that, and many seem to like different state-by-state standards for whatever reason, but it’s a system that generally works in other countries.

A while ago I was at a conference where some DoE guy held forth and said a bunch of dumb and alarming things. The consensus was that it was a good thing those guys didn’t have any power.

Yeah, well…

By the way, DoE = Dept. of Energy. The guys who, among other things, run the criminally underfunded national labs.

No, They fly because they’re fruits. Fruit is another word for fairy, fairies have wings, QED.

Thus the origination of the phrase “light in the loafers”…

The projected deficit is $1tn. These cuts would save less than $5bn a year.

You forgot the tax cuts! They’ll have that deficit down in no time!

But, the important thing to remember is that if little 12 year old Suzie gets…..

Not if you made it legal for her to be packin’ at school!

So they don’t NEED to eliminate the Dept of Ed Rove v Wade – they just make it too goddamn dangerous to go to school the clinic in the first place.

Fixx0rd. Rinse and repeat.

Fixx0rd. Rinse and repeat.

This my point is central to.

Don’t make trouble by banning stuff – just make it too damn hard to do/see/get/find/u.s.w. All the control of a good fascist state with the preservation of the illusion of freedom! Whee! Win-win!

So, there are actually gay fruit flies. There is in fact a single mutation which causes males to do their regular courtship behaviors at other males. The tradition among fruit fly researchers is basically that you get to name the gene, but really the Fly Mafia in London have some sort of editorial power. It was originally called fruity but was changed to fruitless.

And now you know … the rest of the story.

[The Dept. of Ed] attempts to explain the somewhat cockamamie US system to the world…

Really? I didn’t know that. I’ve worked with any number of students from all over the world, and I don’t know any of them learned about our system from the Department of Education. Usually they talked to friends, family members, school officials, other government agencies like State or the NIH or the NSF, etc. (Granted, the last two are a bit specific to my situation.) Heck, if one of my students asked me, a big government
agency would be the *last* place I’d send them for information.

Really there has to be some agency that presents a picture of overall US education abroad, to congress and the president, and back to the states.

I guess, but there also has to be some agency that presents a picture of, say, critical weather events like hurricanes to the country and the world as a whole. NOAA does it, without needing to be a cabinet agency. To be honest, its functions just seem like those of a sub-cabinet-level agency like NOAA or the NIMH. I don’t know how much the org chart really matters, but if you folded it (back) into HHS, I can’t imagine that it’d be fatal.

PeeJ said,
June 4, 2009 at 19:59

You can be an astronomer studying distant nebulae, and somebody will wonder why you aren’t curing cancer instead.

They don’t know the difference between astronomy and astrology.

I remember reading a quote from Margaret Geller–she was on the team that made those maps of galaxy distribution that showed the wall-and-void structure for the first time, remember? She was talking about sitting next to people on airplanes and having them ask what she did. Paraphrasing slightly:

“If I say I’m a physicist, that pretty much stops the conversation in its tracks. If I say I’m an astronomer, they ask about their horoscope. If I say I’m a cosmologist, they ask for makeup advice. So usually I say: ‘I make maps.'”

Really? I didn’t know that. I’ve worked with any number of students from all over the world, and I don’t know any of them learned about our system from the Department of Education.

Job well done then!

Seriously, though, if some German says your higher ed is worth nothing because it wasn’t accredited by one of the larger accrediting agencies (and the one it is accredited by is recognized by the Dept. of Ed) they may fly a guy to court in Germany to testify for you.

Don’t make trouble by banning stuff – just make it too damn hard to do/see/get/find/u.s.w. All the control of a good fascist state with the preservation of the illusion of freedom! Whee! Win-win!

See: Ohio voting lines, 2004

“Eliminating retirement benefits for federal workers who retire before age 62 to save perhaps $267 million a year.”

As a retirement-eligible Federal employee under age 62, I say fuck that!

But, seriously, it is about time our side played rope-a-dope with these guys. I have been saying for years that the way to make Reps the permanent minority is to have them explain exactly what they would cut. Of course, until the rise of lefty blogs and MSNBC, the media would not explain the pain caused by the cuts. The millionaire punditocracy will be tough to penetrate, though.

Seriously, though, if some German says your higher ed is worth nothing because it wasn’t accredited by one of the larger accrediting agencies (and the one it is accredited by is recognized by the Dept. of Ed) they may fly a guy to court in Germany to testify for you.

HA! I actually encountered a situation like that in my last job. We were working with some Scandinavian universities, and at one point they organized a small conference and invited us to join them as their guests. We needed to submit documentation showing that we really were bona-fide university people and not, say, one of the conference organizer’s lovers who was trying to hitch a free ride on someone else’s dime. One of my colleagues, a prof at a small college, ran into a huge amount of trouble–small liberal arts colleges (Amherst and the like) are pretty much a US-only phenomenon, and the Euros didn’t believe that he was the real thing. They demanded …damn, I can’t remember now…some kind of license or other. It had to be “properly franked” and signed by some official that the college didn’t have.

We didn’t call the Department of Education, though. We just got the department secretary to fabricate something that looked good and stamp it with her notary stamp. We also temporarily appointed her to the position of pro-vice-chancellor or whatever it was. Worked, too, though that may be because she has a Scandinavian name….

Heh.

If such things arise in future the US has an honorary place on the ENIC/NARIC site where they have contact info:

http://www.enic-naric.net/index.aspx?c=USA

well, since democrats basically are the whigs, that would e difficult. But I’m all for wearing wigs! Give me white powder or give me death!

Oh great! Drosophila bukkake!

Jokes about ‘honey-lover’. Feel free to make them.

El Cid said,
Hey cid, lets go back to trolling the Israel thread at GG!

I wish these guys would stop jumping me. It’s beginning to freak me out.

You’re freaked out? They fuckin’ killed me!

Obviously roadkill children can be harvested for their valuable meat, unless they were run over by a Volkswagen, which would be wrong.

Republicans are suggesting killing a program that pays for building sidewalks, bike paths and crossing guards as part of the Safe Routes to Schools program.

Republicans would sooner drive (a Hummer) than walk a block. As far as they are concerned, people who walk and ride bicycles aren’t normal.

Can we eliminate ALL traffic lights as well?
That would save an awful lot in energy costs.

I hopefully suspect Obama and co. went through the budget and eliminated all of the really obvious waste, leaving the GOP with waste that will piss off powerful senators & coalitions if they attempt to remove.

I do wish Obama was more progressive, but I do think that overall he’s doing a fine and dandy job of tying their hands in knots.

Didn’t Dick (“Killer”) Cheney a few years back make some outlandish claims about Saddam Hussein having reconstituted Whigs? Or was it reconstituted nukes? Good thing nobody ever listened to that old coot.

I gotta say, I’m with the GOP on this one. Why are we building crossing guards when so many organically-grown Americans need jobs?

Soylent Green is Roadkill!

Can we eliminate ALL traffic lights as well?
That would save an awful lot in energy costs.

Yeah, it’s not like anyone in my neck of the woods ever pays attention to them anyway.
Also, I think it’s a good idea to cut funding for education of Republicans. It’s not like they ever learn anything.

I suppose that you could argue that “killing a program that pays for building sidewalks, bike paths and crossing guards as part of the Safe Routes to Schools program” would improve the gene pool in the long run by eliminating the slow and careless children, but any improvement in the gene pool will ultimately cost the Rethug votes. Well, then. Omelette, eggs, &c.

Alternate repug concept: we have to destroy the village (one schoolchild at a time) in order to save it.

No Brad, no one is thinking that. Especially not the Modern Whig Party.

Which organization, I might note, I only know about because some joker signed me up for their list and I cannot get off of it.

I hope they succeed only so they have an incentive not to be spammers…