Durst on Film
It’s been a while since I’ve trashed Fred Durst, so let’s check out what he’s been up to lately:
Fred Durst: The Next Martin Scorsese?
Limp Bizkit frontman says band’s success has hurt his film career.
Fred, lots of things have hurt your film career. Chief among them is lack of talent.
Fred Durst has always talked of expanding his directing repertoire beyond music videos and into film, and this year he took a significant step, although rather slyly.
“I created and directed a film for The Unquestionable Truth,” Durst revealed, referring to the EP Limp Bizkit released in May with virtually no promotion. “It’s a 30-minute short film, and Wes [Borland] and I both act in it. I play an evangelist named Evan Gelis…”
“And Wes plays a no-talent ass-clown from Europe named Notälen Tásscloüne.”
“…and that’s something that I think is gonna find its way out there on the Internet or through somewhere.”
Because if you can make it on the super-exclusive Internet, you can make it anywhere baby!
“Directing a movie is serious, it’s not a joke,” Durst said…
Even if it’s a comedy?
“I thought [directing videos] was serious, and it’s not. Directing a film is a lot of work. It’s characters, it’s arcs, it’s beats, it’s just a lot of things, and I’ve been blessed to have been mentored by some really great people like [“Fight Club” director] David Fincher and just really have absorbed it. I think I’m a storyteller, and I’m gonna apply it.”
Yes, you can see Fred’s storytelling prowess quite clearly in his song lyrics, epspecially in “Rollin'” (“I know y’all be lovin’ this shit right here / L-I-M-P Bizkit right here!”) and “Eat You Alive” (“I’d love to sniff on them panties now!”)
Durst said that he’s actually been working on his film projects since before Limp Bizkit and that the band set him back in more ways than just filling up his schedule.
“While the band was taking off, I was trying to have meetings with movie people,” he said. “And all Limp Bizkit being successful did was hurt me and get in the way of the movie business.”
Oh. My. God.
Fred, please stop huffing Kaye Grogan-brand rubber cement. Think about this for a second- you’re a loser with zero talent. But somehow, you managed to make millions of dollars by creating music that other zero-talent losers found appealing. As far as zero-talent losers go, you’ve struck a fucking gold mine. And you actually think you could have broken into the film industry were it not for heading one of the world’s shittiest (but for a time, most popular) bands???
“They don’t take music people seriously. They’ll take you serious if they wanna throw you in a film and let you be an actor and cash in on your success while you’re hot, and that’s not what I wanted to do. I was offered all kinds of cheesy movies that were really successful to direct and I was like, ‘I’m not here to make movies like that.’ I want to make timeless movies. I want to be beside Martin Scorsese and Wes Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson and Francis Ford Coppola. I’m a real director.”
That has to be the most delusional statement since… uhm… help me out here, guys?
I don’t know…that might be The.Most.Delusional.Statement.Ever.
…OK, second to Assrocket’s assertion that Presichimp Bush is “brilliant approaching to genius”…
Assrocket’s ‘Misunderstood Genius’ paean is one of the few things that outranks that.
Err, Jinx.
LOL! Thanks for the laugh. Maybe he can found shittymovies.com, although I suppose there already is one somewhere on this most exclusive of mediums, the internet. Been rackin’ my brain and can’t think of much that outranks that statement. the only thing that comes to mind is that statement by Senator Bolivar T. Gassaway: “I was borned in a little log cabin that I helpt my father built!” Best to you and yours for 06.
Oh man, that’s just straight up funny.
Poor Fred Durst, his inexplicable and shortlived musical success interfered with his equally (nay moreso) unlikely directorial achivements.
What a no talent pussy boy crybaby.
Well, we can give him credit for one thing — he didn’t mention one day being beside Quintin Tarantino and Steven Spielberg, since you can’t drop that much acid and still be relatively lucid enough to give an interview.
Oh, and I think ChimpMan’s “Mission Accomplished,” “Brung um on” and um, anything Bill O’Falafel said in the past two months outranks Durst the Wurst.
He packs a cameraw, he’ll skin your eyeballs raw.
Since Hitler commanded the movement of phantom battalions and divisions from the Fuhrerbunker during the last days of WWII.
But, see, as a no-talent singer, he literally can’t make the talent-free films his fan base desire, so he must re-invent himself as a hack filmmaker. Only then can his destiny to create shitty, z-grade, direct-to-DVD movies be fulfilled.
Welcome to my world people. Try teaching these little shits day in and day out.
The unmitigated hubris these jackasses have is matched only by their sense of self-esteem. The concept of expertise is dead to them, just “Believe in yourself!” and you’ve done it. Fuck all that studying and shit. I blame Dr. Spock, or maybe Richard Simmons. Wolcott had a great post a few months back about the shrinking space between the professionals and the wanna-be’s, as evidenced in the “you can be a star” reality type shows. Amen brother.
And ba-fucking humbug. You all better hope you’re not in one of my classes next semester, I’m opening a BIG can of wup-ass
Welcome to my world people. Try teaching these little shits day in and day out.
The unmitigated hubris these jackasses have is matched only by their sense of self-esteem. The concept of expertise is dead to them, just “Believe in yourself!” and you’ve done it. Fuck all that studying and shit. I blame Dr. Spock, or maybe Richard Simmons. Wolcott had a great post a few months back about the shrinking space between the professionals and the wanna-be’s, as evidenced in the “you can be a star” reality type shows. Amen brother.
And ba-fucking humbug. You all better hope you’re not in one of my classes next semester, I’m opening a BIG can of wup-ass
sorry about the double post. damn internets.
Durst has more talent with a camera that Hinderaker has with the law- you guys seriously overestimate Hinderaker.
“Limp Bizkit frontman says band’s success has hurt his film career.”
Thanks guys – that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.
Limp Bizkit frontman says band’s success has hurt his film career.
And I reply: “Thank you Jesus for keeping this man away from our movie screens!”
Hmm. This post must not show up when you Google “Limp Bizkit,” ‘cos none of the Bizkitheadz have shown up this time. Or maybe they just don’t care if you accuse Freddie of being a hack director. Well, that’s no fun.
Fear not, Limp Bizkit Thread fans, especially you Marq. For Dan has left us a New Years Day present at the end of the interminable “Worst Song Ever” thread. I am taking the liberty of replicating it below for everyone’s enjoyment.
Limp bizkit have sold over 30 million albums worldwide
wats matter haters? cat got your mother fucking tounge!?!?!
oh and Major Woody your a cock don’t go on my site agen you faget your a fucking poser
Posted by: Dan | January 1, 2006 02:52 PM
Evidently, I am a “faget”. Is that, like, a tiny fag, or a tiny bit like a fag? I’m confused, yet again!
Yeeps! Evidently, spelling and grammar aren’t the Danstir strong suit. Who’da thunk. I mean, I’m a pretty crappy speller myself, but fortunately I can leave spell-check on at all times, even in blog comments. While it keeps me from looking too illiterate, it doesn’t salvage my grammar. I try to pass that off as “style.” Heh. But, oh boy: “tounge”? “wats”? “your a cock”? He doesn’t even have the excuse of there being three variants of “your/you’re” like there are with “to/too/two” and “there/their/they’re.” And, of course, the charming, misspelled homophobia, “faget.” Fagetaboutit!
dqci aoomuabbhse
dqci aoomuabbhse
eakvwyufh hunun