With Apologies To Guy Cimbalo
The Top 10 ‘Examples of Badly Analogizing Present-Day Wingnut Bugaboos with Significant Historic Events’ That I’d Like To Hate-Fuck:
1. Abortion = The Holocaust
2. ‘Liberal Fascism’
3. Tea Parties
4. Universal Health Care = (Pol Pot + Hitler)(Satan – The Killer Riff From Iron Maiden’s ‘The Number of the Beast’ + Hitler)
5. References to ‘slavery’ in the context of discussing minor hikes to the top marginal tax rate
6. The recurring feature on the Glenn Beck show where an actor pretending to be Thomas Paine sputters on about how constraints on greenhouse gas emissions is like being bayoneted by Redcoats
7. ‘Feminazis’
8. Restructuring automaker bankruptcy proceedings so that pensioners and bondholders swap places in the collection queue is the same as the nationalization of United Fruit
9. ‘Distributing bland, “you-might-want-to-keep-an-eye-on-this” reports on recent trends in right-wing extremism to law enforcement agencies’ is roughly equivalent to ‘smashing everybody who’s wearing eyeglasses in the face with the butt of a rifle’
10. ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ flags
Bonus Hate-Fuck Fantasies:
— Banning ‘Intelligent Design’ from science classrooms, throwing Christians to the lions — what’s the difference?
— Filling the airwaves and internets with outrage over government-sanctioned torture is the real torture
Show where it says “standing armies are bad”, or SHUT UP.
Mmm, talk to dirty to me, Taxation is Slavery!
Down in the basement
Lock the Cellar door
I love that little guy. It’s so fucking creepy, and either his or the producers’ writing for the hatchet-faced old Trotskyite is so off-base it’d be great even if he wasn’t wearing ridiculous period gear.
10. ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ flags
unless it is used by a Philly Union fan- then its ok. Its super OK when it is in futile effort to rally their team from a crushing defeat by Sounders FC.
You can never start trash talking too early.
Portland sucks, BTW.
DA,
Fairness Doctrine = Censorship
Trash talking in MLS is a little…not, a lot like not using the doily at your daughter’s tea party.
6. The recurring feature on the Glenn Beck show where an actor pretending to be Thomas Paine sputters on about how constraints on greenhouse gas emissions is like being bayoneted by Redcoats
Youse makin’ dat up, aintcha, boyo?
Maiden ROOOLZ
EDDIE!!!!!!!!
Also:
adding gays and lesbians to existing hate crimes laws (which already cover things like ‘religion’)= an attack on free speech (ministers who preach against homosexuality will be slapped in chains! Oh Noes!)
Youse makin’ dat up, aintcha, boyo?
Amn’t.
actor212
so are you not a fan of soccer?
or one one of the soccer snobs that stamp their little feet and cry out “But, but thats not the way they do it in Europe!” “?
*looking down my nose at GD as I look up from BPL tables*
You were saying????
11. Putting spicy mustard on a burger = hoity-toity elitist, out-of-touch pretentious eurofag.
12. Arugula = French elitist vegetable
13 Teleprompters = Moran
14. ACORN = KKK
15. La Raza = KKK
Sleeveless dresses = dancing around a stripper pole
16. DailyKos= Nazis x KKK x infinity
Obama public appearances + SCREAM FOR ME LONG BEACH!!1!! = Hitler was popular, too
No X. Olbermann = Tokyo Rose
Martin Luther King Jr = Conservative
20. If libs even slightly mention Hitler and conservatism within 1000 paragraphs of each other they are fools for violating Godwin’s law, but when we say “liberalism = Hitler in zillions of ways” it is just truth-telling
Legalizing gay marriage = forcibly inserting straight white males into sweating, thrusting piles of naked homos
Black people say n*gger, why can’t white people say n*gger?
Legalizing gay marriage = forcibly inserting straight white males into sweating, thrusting piles of naked homos
Plus making them marry goats they are related to by blood
Affirmative action = Sending white males to the Gulag
Criticizing me = taking away my right to free speech.
Show me where it says “licking shit-encrusted corn from your sister’s asshole is bad” or SHUT UP.
Obama acknowledging the humanity of Muslims = Obama flying a plane into a building
Newt = Popular, relevant
Cheney = Popular, relevant
Mittens = Popular, relevant
Scott Roeder = John Brown
(h/t Troofy)
“These colors don’t run”
All right wing analogies with WWII are just horrendous, but particularly any comparison of Winston Churchill with any contemporary conservative figure
The Nazis, who killed 10,000,000 or so Jews, homosexuals, etc., were entitled to a trial for war crimes but any Muslim even remotely connected to al Qaeda must be summarily executed because 3,000 Americans >>>>>> 10,000,000 Europeans
They’re right about the ideology, but they’re usually talking about someone with the rhetorical prowess and charisma of Jindal, who Churchill wouldn’t mustard-gas if he was on fire.
plus any/all references to Chamberlain or appeasement
War veterans running as Democrats are godless traitors, but draft dodger chickenhawks running as repigs are Super Patriots.
Offhand comment by Judge Sotomayor clearly playing on and joking about famous quote from Judge O’Conner = ‘Birth of a Nation’ + ‘The Turner Diaries’ + ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’ + Heinrich Himmler’s frame of mind when he drafted the Final Solution
DA, you missed the “Axis of Evil”.
War veterans running as Democrats are godless traitors, but draft dodger chickenhawks running as repigs are Super Patriots.
I think this one wins.
107. FDR interned the Japanese so we can void the civil rights of any group we find expedient
Anyone who opposes invading Iraq / bombing Iran / any other Republican-supported military action = Neville Chamberlain
Authenticated papers contemporaneously showing Bush was AWOL during Vietnam War? Made up! Check the kerning!
An official state government copy of a birth certificate, backed up by actual birth notices published 48 years ago in a local paper? Made up! Check the kerning!
OK, so it’s not so inconsistent…
The Patriot Act was the greatest thing since sliced bread until Jan 20, 2009. After that date it is just more Big Government Evil.
Supporting Bush = Patriot
Supporting the President when it was Obama = Subversive
Giving tax breaks to starving billionaires is the highest good we can do, but giving tax breaks to the middle class is Evil Socialism.
Supporting the President when it was Bush = Patriot
Supporting the President when it was Obama = Subversive
Fixed and FYCnPSkillz!
We conservatives are brave and manly because we need guns to feel secure if we venture one step outside of the house, but you libs are cowardly because you don’t feel the need to pack heat to feel safe.
Mockery = afraid of other’s views and/or = censorship. Frequently seen in internets comments threads.
The brave men who sit in lawn chairs and watch for Mexican border-crossers are just like the brave men who fought the Redcoats. We should even name them the same
It’s obvious that a thread on the theme of repig hypocrisy will create the longest one EVAH, so please warn WordPress to buy larger hard drives now before the deluge.
We can sum the whole thing up as IOKIYAR
“Patriotic” car magnets made in China.
Things that Bush did are exactly like things that Obama is doing, and Bush = Obama.
Art = Communism
Trucknutz = Americana
Bill Kristol = seer
Jonah Goldberg = serious intellectual
Alan Greenspan = economist
Newt Gingrich = human being
Criticism of Sarah Palin = rape.
H/t to Edroso in one of his Voice columns. No link, too lazy.
Amn’t.
Sorry, but I call “shenanigans”.
Even Teh Glennstar ain’t that batshit crazy.
Criticism of Sarah Palin = rape.
Along similar lines, rough questioning of Clarence Thomas at his confirmation hearings = “high-tech lynching”
I dunno, Pere. I’ve never watched it but from seeing clips and hearing about him, I suspect it’s another case of truth being stranger than anything we could possibly think up.
He’s right. Glenn Beck has gone from ‘boilerplate right-wing Mormon gas bag’ to ‘impossible to actually parody’ since he moved to Fox. Not only having a guy on to cosplay as Thomas Paine but hiring him to do it regularly is hardly the weirdest shit he’s done.
PS: Guys, this is about dipshit right-wing historical analogies, not just stupid shit the Republicans do or right-wing contradictions. They’re a special kind of stupid when it comes to history.
I would again point to “Axis of Evil”, if only because it works even better if you do it movie-trailer style: “Axis . . . of Evil! And this time – it’s personal.”
Failing that, Victor Davis Hanson’s entire job is to make ridiculous bullshit historical analogies all the fucking time. He’s a member of a small, hilarious class of right-wing kulturkampfists who do that, and his specialty is military history, so you can only imagine how fucked he is with it.
In the course of a single article he managed to declare identical Iraq in 2003, the Civil War in 1864, and Korea in 1950. An earlier list presaged defeat for the Iraqi insurgency based on a list of guerilla wars “from Thermopylae(?) to the Malay Insurgency”. He’s a real dipshit, and the best thing is he thinks he’s a genius.
Hey, I proudly fly a Dont Tread on Me flag. The message is aimed directly at those wingnut douchebags.
He’s right. Glenn Beck has gone from ‘boilerplate right-wing Mormon gas bag’ to ‘impossible to actually parody’ since he moved to Fox.
Beck is doing this on purpose to perform an “end run” around any evil libs who try to parody him.
Squawking about how “they hate us for our FREEEEEEEDOMS” while tut-tutting about the naivety of those who demand the Bill of Rights not be ignored.
‘Axis of Evil’ was indeed the masterstroke in this context.
Just so you know, it was originated by David Frum, as we found out when his wife broke the long-established tradesman’s omerta on specific phrases in Presidential speeches in order to boast about his words appearing on the teevee. (A kind of improbable story – he was the fucking Presidential speechwiter, after all, and it wasn’t like it was well-received. My guess is that it’s cover for him running off his fucking mouth when some dittohead idiot got into a conversation with him about stupid liberals thinking Generalplan Ost is as important as Iraq having aluminum tubes.)
With even the White House now smearing Obama as a Muslim, one wonders if the president hasn’t been concealing some greater fluency with the language of the Koran.
A bunch of pasty, overprivileged whiners waving Lipton tea bags and chanting mindless slogans about”socialism”, “fascism” and “going Galt” = the Sons of Liberty!!
It works better if the snake is coiled up over a rainbow flag, although that’s admittedly pretty silly as a historical analogy too.
I think what I talked about for VDH basically hits it on the head why these idiocies are so funny, on further reflection: it’s all about presenting asinine cant as the product of deep thought and historical studiousness; bonus points if it repeats facile myths about or oversimplifies even beyond the inevitable degree the subject at hand.
Fed a steady enough diet of that shit, you wind up with Originalism, survivalism, Patriot Mythology, and Christian Identity being treated as logical and historically coherent by the crackpots drawn to stupid right-wing shit to begin with. The worst thing is that there’s basically a segment of society that tries to push that shit into academia; you will never in Europe find someone as puerile and obsessed with the present as Hanson calling themselves a historian, and that includes Holocaust deniers and other idiots.
With even the White House now smearing Obama as a Muslim
Is that a smear of cream cheese or perhaps caviar?
I guess we forgot the Alamo…
it’s all about presenting asinine cant as the product of deep thought and historical studiousness; bonus points if it repeats facile myths about or oversimplifies even beyond the inevitable degree the subject at hand.
Somehow, I picture VDH channeling his younger, more liberal self, sitting around the bong back in college, trying to work up enough energy to actually write the term paper his professor assigned and realizing that if he just throws in a few historical references to Greece, maybe Rome and then wows him with one ur-civilization anecdote, say from Sumeria, that he can bullshit his way to an “A”.
What about “Don’t Tread on Me” welcome mats?
Universal Health Care = (Pol Pot + Hitler)(Satan – The Killer Riff From Iron Maiden’s ‘The Number of the Beast’ + Hitler)
New Green Deal = Stalin to the power of the twelfth root of subprime as paper mache approaches zero the Jolly Green Giant reaches infinite spew.
No, really. Go look.
It’s some kind of conservatard singularity.
The original tea party conspirators wore…redcoats.
(Seriously, some of them have done this.)
9/11 = Pearl Harbor + Archduke Ferdinand + Fort Sumter + Thermopylae + Alcibiades + Blartopolis
The original tea party conspirators wore…redcoats.
(Seriously, some of them have done this.)
Wait, do you mean the historically-challenged douchebag Teabaggers, or the real ones from the 18th Century (when disguising yourself as a soldier would have, you know, made sense)?
Papier mache: when regular mache just isn’t papy enough
REP. TODD AKIN (R-MO): The green jobs that are being talked about, we’re going to create all these green jobs. In Spain, they call them subprime jobs.
Wait, wait, I thought we all loved Joe Sixpack Miminum Wage Prole.
And now the GOP thinks American workers are jerks ’cause their jobs are green?
Roe v. Wade = Dred Scott v. Sandford
America was founded as a CHRISTian Nation!!
Marriage is and has always been, back into the mists of time (6000 years), one man + one woman!!1!
In Spain, they call them subprime jobs.
In English, even.
Who gives a fuck what they call shit in Spain?
Blacks should vote Republican because before 1964 Democrats were the pro-segregation party.
In Spain, they call them subprime jobs.
Ohhhhh, I SEE. We’re trying to associate these jobs with the “subprime” loans the banker friends of these needledicks destroyed our economy with. All Bob Sixpack is supposed to hear is the word “subprime” which he’s been taught to associate with “bad”, i.e. green jobs = further collapse of the economy for some reason or another. Who cares “why”? They’re SUBPRIME, so SUTW.
This is a good one. Did Palin manage to name it during that one famous incident? I forget – it seems like the only other case she’d know.
To be technical, mierda. No, you have to roll the R, and thank God it doesn’t have an X or Z.
Democrats are isolationist appeasers, and also Roosevelt saw Pearl Harbor coming but used it to illegally get us into a war.
Paul Krugman = shrill
Rush Limbaugh = outspoken
Old Europe = passe, antiquated
Old South = civilization’s zenith, noble
JImmy Carter = whiny anti-American defeatist
George W. Bush = noble warrior and good Christian man
Obama saying the U.S. has one of the largest Muslim populations in the world = Liar and hater of our great Christian Nation since we’re roughly only 34 our of almost 200.
My previous post mentions today’s wingnut outrage Dijon.
Also, Kelly is always great with history.
My mom says there’s a lot of Europeans in Spain
Martin Luther King Jr = Conservative
Which they put into place five minutes after “Martin Luther King Jr. = Communist” lost its traction.
The “green jobs = subprime jobs” line comes from Gabriel Calzada, global climate change denier, glibertarian hack, and president of the libertarian Instituto Juan de Mariana (English-language press release on the institute, Spanish-language press release which summarizes his views on Kyoto and green employment and includes mention of green jobs as subprime ones).
Did Palin manage to name it during that one famous incident?
I went and checked and found that no, she did not name any case besides the one Couric mentioned to her first.
SIX!!!!
SIX-SIX!!!!!
Bush mentioned Dred Scott briefly in one of the debates with Kerry, as a dog whistle to the faithful.
OneMan said,
June 3, 2009 at 23:06 (kill)
America was founded as a CHRISTian Nation!!
America was founded to get out from under the thumb of asswipes like YOU.
Good catch, but bear in mind that he could just be referring to the renowned gift of the Spanish national character and every Spaniard for making critical judgements about American mortgaging practices.
La mesa es buena, mas… Tu puedes applicar el granito? Si? Ah! Ahora podemos fliparlo ciertamente.
Ay yay yay, los negros en barrio! No es bueno!
Escuche mi, nosotros Savings y Loan fallara probablemente en un ano, pero ¿tiene gusto de millon de dolares para la “reeleccion” o no, Senator McCain?
He truly is the Spinal Tap of punditry. I can totally see a dwarf dressed up as Thomas Jefferson accidentally sitting on a six inch model of the constitution, or Beck having his “liberal media bubble” fail to open at the beginning of the show.
He’s about 16 months away from hosting a Japanese game show, one where lizards in turbans eat raw meat off the foreheads of little Japanese girls dressed up in lady liberty costumes.
Sitting in Mom’s basement and writing a blog=serving in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Accents and frontispuncts not my department, and the one that snuck in was from forgetting what “listen to me” would be in Spanish and resorting to Babelfish.
The “green jobs = subprime jobs” line comes from Gabriel Calzada, global climate change denier, glibertarian hack, and president of the libertarian Instituto Juan de Mariana
And now Spanish politicians will be claiming “In America, they call them subprime jobs.”
–Bill Clinton’s penis has the magical power to warp space-time and the axioms of logic, being a perfectly reasonable justification for any Republican malfeasance past, present or future.
having his “liberal media bubble” fail to open at the beginning of the show
Ohmy. I may have to find this on-line and watch it with the sound off, just to see if this is as batshit fucking insane – on a regular basis, yet – as it sounds.
I must get hold of that penis!
I find disturbing the assumption that the hate part of a hate fuck can only be directed toward the woman. It labels her a victim if we refuse to acknowledge that two parties who can’t particularly stand each other might still be hot for each other’s bits and decide to do that thing.
But then, I’m a GoatBoy.
“Reverse Discrimination”
Beck is doing this on purpose to perform an “end run” around any evil libs who try to parody him.
Beck IS Poe!
That was the substance of the Cimbalo article, not an assumption by sensitive readers.
OT, but the radio has been echoing ceaselessly today about Obama presiding over the unveiling of the statue of the terrorist (raygun) who started America towards its current economic disaster back in 1981
Hearing the repigs extolling the “virtues” of low taxes and other discredited Talking Points really causes brain pain.
OT, but the radio has been echoing ceaselessly today about Obama presiding over the unveiling of the statue of the terrorist (raygun) who started America towards its current economic disaster back in 1981
Young Republicans were disappointed that the statue depicts Reagan’s head with the flesh still on it, rather than his oh-so-fuckable skull.
Hey, there’s a gay couple who lives up the street from me with a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag. I always wondered if they were LCR’s or just being ironic.
I wonder what historical they’ll use for the legalization of gay marriage in New Hampshire? Suggestions?
Obviously, this is good news for NH same sex couples. What I have a problem with is the fact that religious groups were given an out and told they don’t have to honor new state law, which would seem to suggest that religious dogma trumps state law every time.
Yet another aspect in which I Fucked Ann Coulter In The Ass, Hard does a much better service to the concept than that meathead’s blundersome article: it involves Coulter, who is just the most visible of the Beltway’s many right-wing toppy subs, hate-fucking the shit out of someone whose job is to be a filthy hippie for the duration. Like it and my other favorite work of incomprehensible sexual fiction, Hot Houseboy, it ends as Cimbalo lacked the balls to: with someone getting pissed on in a bathtub.
You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead lips.
It’s not exactly “historical” in comparison to some of the others, but I don’t think I’ve ever thought Glenn Beck was more of a douche than when he compared himself to Howard Beale.
Would it be needlessly hateful to say Beck should be nominated for an Oscar?
“If it wasn’t for America, you’d all be speaking German”
I don’t exist. There’s a guy named Terry McAuliffe you might be projecting your wet ‘n’ wild gay fantasies on, though.
Affirmative Action = The Trail of Tears.
There’s also the continuing Republican assumption that the next election will be 1994 again, whereupon they try and mash today’s events into 1992 ignoring the massive demographic changes and lack of 40 years in power for which the Democratic majority to get quite stale.
IMO, this is perfectly appropriate. The primary issue in the gay marriage debate has always been the televangelical plot to recast all religious and later all civic life in their image and under their leadership – first it was basically storming the pissy Catholic abortion bandwagon and rearranging all the furniture the way they liked it, and the gay-marriage thing is just another way of winning over the other churches to get their hooks in. The Mormon thing is actually something of a coup from that perspective: the Mormons have always wanted to be considered good normal evangelicals, and the sign has evidently been given that in exchange for throwing money the megachurches no longer have at the 24-hour gay-hate they can be as Baptist as they like.
In short, gay marriage in constitutional terms is easiest to defend not as an issue of equal rights or privacy, but by the much more solid and undebatable right to freedom of religious practice – banning it interferes with established religious practices for no evident secular reason, and that is basically indefensible as soon as the SC grants cert on it. It’s much easier to bullshit your way through a decision on privacy or equal protection grounds than it is on freedom of religious practice. Scalia voted with the court on Hialeah, after all, and that was a case about ritually slaughtering goats during the height of the satanic ritual abuse panic.
Oh it’s extra special. There was already a religious exemption in the bill. The guv insisted on special language – i.e., special rights for the deluded – or he’d veto. The leg balked at first but consented after failing to muster enough votes to override.
Special rights for religionists.
I thought “listen to me” would be escúcheme.
Special rights for
religionistsany right-wing group that whines loudly enough.FiXXXXXed
escúcheme.
Gesundheit.
No, you have to roll the Rs
And I’m not even wearing me high heels.
“America was founded to get out from under the thumb of asswipes like YOU.”
Oh Shambling One, I fear I’ve been misunderstood.
I was providing more hatefuck examples, not making assertions of my own opinion.
Perhaps I should have used quotes.
The arc is long, but it bends towards justice.
Perhaps I should have used quotes.
Drive-by zombie has driven by.
oh, can’t believe i forgot their economic line of abused analogies:
1) All Democrats will end up like Jimmy Carter in a morass of stagflation
2) Reagan’s tax cuts caused the 80s boom
3) FDR caused the Great Depression using Bill Clinton’s penis
“That was the substance of the Cimbalo article, not an assumption by sensitive readers.”
It was? Because the “substance” I saw was “here’s some broads I hate but would like to fuck, probably vigorously.” As long as one is not deceiving the other party about their feelings, and the other party is consenting, I say fair play.
I don’t think anybody needs to adopt the right’s cynical, disingenuous brand of womynysm on this one, no matter how properly liberal the impulse to do so may be.
You’re probably right. I typically come by my Spanish in the form of half-remembered French, which, as those snooty elitists don’t want you to know, is really just English spoken with the fanciest vocabulary imaginable in an accent and more openly about sex.
As an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church, I would like to protest the government’s infringing on my religious liberty by denying me the right to perform marriages for same-sex couples.
You know, I never understood how horrible the Holocaust was until somebody compared it to abortion.
Bill Ayers = all murders of liberals by right-wing wackos
gettig shot multiple times in a war = bandaids with purple hearts on them.
republicans = punk
Err, exactly, and what I responded to was this:
So no assumption necessary on either your part or mine. The article is specifically about hate-fucking women.
Undocumented aliens are a drain on social services in some weird way that other people who are paid crap wages are not.
Also, Roe v. Wade legalized late-term abortions.
Lookit Andrew Klavan:
The Vagina Monlogues being performed in public = Pharaoh Meneptah collecting basketsful of severed Libyan penises.
Let’s see if I can bash this into something relatively on topic….
March of the Penguins = depicts living a “true christian lifestyle”
‘Gay penguins’ rear adopted chick = liberal MSM
heh heh heh
The Top 10 ‘Examples of Badly Analogizing Present-Day Wingnut Bugaboos with Significant Historic Events’ That I’d Like To Hate-Fuck:
11. Keeping a brain-dead Terry Shaivo alive = “disability rights.”
but most of all, I blame it for the irreconcilable virulence of the sides in the abortion debate.
oh, noes!!! it’s not their fault; we MADE them be murderers!!!
Ronald Reagan destroyed communism, presumably by unleashing powerful psychic conservavibes against the Soviet Union.
And in a free country, tyranny makes men mad and will ultimately be answered with bloodshed.
Yeah, right, bloodshed. This useless, fat fucking moron couldn’t give himself a bloody nose if he punched himself there with all his might.
Holy fucking shit but completely unsurprising. There was mention ealrier in of these threads about the whingers hatin on most of the Bill of Rights. They’ve now moved on to The United States Constitution is tyranny!
Loooove the part about “right to make a final decision…” I get warm fuzzies just thinking about the anguish and impotent rage he must feel.
WP IS TYRANNY!
tyranny = you disagree with me!!!
Current equation
Murder of a doctor in a church after being hounded personally for decades = one nut with a gun shooting anyone in a uniform
How can you discuss things in a civil manner when your right to make a final decision about them has been taken away by seven Little Caesars who think their black robes make them kings?
With Roe v. Wade, the Court recognized that individuals had a right to privacy the states had taken away, and returned it…
‘Things’ = women and their naughty parts.
‘Final decision about them’ needs no explanation.
After Roe v. Wade everyone who wanted to not get an abortion could continue to not get an abortion.
It’s an awful lot like the gay marriage argument.
How can you discuss things in a civil manner when the other side is shouting at the top of its fucking lungs with its eyes closed and its fingers in its ears?
Like how that “civil” nutcase Michelle Malkin “discusses” things.
Riggghhhht.
Bubba: That Klavan article was essentially a reprise of a Wall St. Journal editorial that ran when that doctor in Buffalo was murdered. Basically, it said that letting women get abortions just lowered everyone’s moral standards so much that murder was the inevitable consequence.
At least they didn’t call the murdered doctor a Lucky Ducky.
Video games and sexy movies = profound negative influence that motivates people to do horrible things
Incessant screeching about murdering Nazi baby killers = free speech that is completely unrelated to any assassinations of said baby killers
Basically, it said that letting women get abortions just lowered everyone’s moral standards so much that murder was the inevitable consequence.
this is what the fundie I used to know would say – stuff like “sure, rape is bad, but what do you expect when abortion is legal????”
‘Things’ = women and their naughty parts.
women = filthy vessels of sin.
they really think this.
I updated this slightly in the ’08 election. See if you can notice the subtle difference.
I do appreciate the woman for offering us a bloated icon of evil for all time, though. And to think, before she was just another obese woman in a machine-knit Stetson.
‘Individuals’? He’s talking about state governments. What, did you think he was talking about giving rights to women? You silly, silly thing, you.
How can you discuss things in a civil manner when your right to make a final decision about them has been taken away by seven Little Caesars
As several other commentators have implied and/or stated, is this nutjob actually saying that giving the right to privacy and control over one’s body is a “take away” of rights???
Every day Maximum Wingnuttus seems to approach ever closer.
todays republican party is the party of lincoln.
What kind of half-baked, chunky nut loaf get IDIGNANT when told he doesn’t have the right to take other people’s rights away? “You cain’t free the slaves, what about mah property rahts?”
You silly, silly thing, you.
It’s a fair cop.
freedom’s just another word for not having to pay a living wage
‘Individuals’? He’s talking about state governments. What, did you think he was talking about giving rights to women? You silly, silly thing, you.
I see. So the nutjobs actually believe that “States Rights” are a higher good than individual rights?
They should run this as the centerpiece of their campaigns. They could use this slogan: “State control over you. Like Federal Control, but with less benevolent authoritarianism! We PROMISE!”
“obama is the messiah” meant disparagingly and its stepchild, maobama
BUSH = LINCOLN
How can you discuss things in a civil manner when your right to make a final decision about them has been taken away by seven Little Caesars = how can you expect us to be civil or reasonable when we don’t get our way?
Alec: OK, I get the “niggers,” but what’s with putting the Star of David in a circle-with-slash? Don’t these people generally think Israel can do no wrong and is our best ally against the Islamofascisterrorists?
As for the apologists for this murderer, the ones who say “well, if you think someone else is killing people, then aren’t you justified in killing them?”, there’s a thing called the law, which says that what the doctor was doing was legal and what his murderer did was not legal. In fact, situations like these are exactly why we have laws. Otherwise, I would have a roof-mounted gatlin gun on my car, all the better to teach others what the meaning of the term “passing lane” is. Should I decide to go ahead and roof-mount a gatlin gun and proceed to use it against any and all other drivers who piss me off, I, too, could argue that well, wasn’t I justified in blowing his ass off the road if he wouldn’t get out of the passing lane and continued poking along at 65 mph? I mean, it’s not like I’ve got all day here or anything.
Bitter Scribe – they love the Israelis and what a small minority of Israelis think and do (i.e., “exterminate the brutes”) but they have no love for Jews or Judaism. See: Ann Coulter wanting Jews to be “perfected,” &c.
They’re big fans of what we say in America when we mean “Likud”, but their relationship with teh Joooooooz is more complicated. At the time, I believe Palin had just happened and the first thing she had to say was taken from a Nazi, which was even more egregious than their usual obsession with Upper East Hollywood elitists looking down their big honking cosmopaaaahlitan noses at real Americans, so it made the cut to conceal “W”, which, unlike my interlocution, might have made some of the people at the RNC uncomfortable.
Don’t these people generally think Israel can do no wrong and is our best ally against the Islamofascisterrorists?
Yes but it gets trumped by “America is a CHRISTIAN nation” and the implied “the GOP is a CHRISTIAN party” whenever elections are near.
Cognitive non-dissonance, all the time.
Gatling guns.
all the religious kooks love comparing stuff they dont like to the bad things in the bible. SF = sodom and gomorrah for example when its actually one of teh best places to live, well until the coming earthquake. but those really arent historical analogies since theyre not really historical, but fairy tales.
11. Mocking Conservative fucktards = Violation of 1st Am. rights.
12. Nominating people who aren’t white men = Exactly the same way black people have been treated in the U.S.
13. Conservatives = Rosa Parks.
Except I wouldn’t hate fuck either of them. I’d train a Clydesdale to hate fuck them.
Either = Any
I know how annoying they are, those adolescent Gattlings with their puerile enthusiasm for Ayn Rand, but to fantasise about shooting them is just wrong.
Ok, ok, Gatling gun.
I’m southern, we don’t say the g’s at the end and over time, sometimes you forget they’re supposed to be there.
Jennifer, I believe the second amendment guarantees your right to weld that puppy to the top of your car. I also applaud your commitment to public education.
Sure, we’ll kick up our heels for handfuls of brown sugar or a bucket of Teh King of Beers, but there is no way in hell you’ll ever train us to do Peggy Noonan.
Gatlin guns are to be used only for the extermination of a certain fraternal country-western singing act popular in the 70s and 80s.
Gatlin guns are to be used only for the extermination of a certain fraternal country-western singing act popular in the 70s and 80s.
Oh, can’t we use them on the group Alabama as well? Please?
Jennifer, those Gatlin’ guns would slow down your car quite a bit (if not cave in the roof).
I’m thinking you’d be wanting something a bit more modern.
BUSH = LINCOLN
I think the active trope for now is Bush = Truman, apparently on the grounds that Truman was unpopular too.
In fairness, Bush exhibits the same vacuous stare and lack of any discernable mental activity as Truman. Of course, in Truman’s case, this is attributable to his having been dead for decades.
(Full disclosure: That was a ripoff of an old National Lampoon joke about Gerald Ford)
‘Yes you can get a cheese or pepperoni pizza for only $5 but only if you carry it out. DUH!!!
How can you discuss things in a civil manner when your right to make a final decision about them has been taken away by seven Little Caesars
The fact that he can’t even get the number of justices right is, evidently, central to his point.
wasn’t I justified in blowing his ass off the road if he wouldn’t get out of the passing lane and continued poking along at 65 mph?
I once had a guy shoot – literally – at me after I high-beamed him for blocking me in the fast lane. Now, I only high-beamed people when I saw they had a clear lane to shift to. If they were “stuck” in the left-hand lane I just waited for a spot to open up.
Now I NEVER high-beam the idiots who sit in the left hand lane. I just zoom by them all in the right-most lane, which in most of NY and NJ is completely empty.
The fact that he can’t even get the number of justices right is, evidently, central to his point.
Roe was a 7-2 decision. Not to give any wingnut any credit, but I think that is what the idiot was talking about.
Retiring = Going Galt!
OK, I know Atlas Shrugs is actually a work of fiction, but John Galt could have been a real person and “going” this real person could have been an historical event.
I think he meant to imply that because they didn’t vote to limit our right to decide that the law of the land should consider women who aren’t constantly having children whores who deserve whatever they get from an unsterilized broken bottle or stripped wire for no better reason than the “Constitution” guaranteeing a “right” to “privacy” (because without that “right”, “freedom” of “association” would be meaningless, as if associating with federal agents doesn’t count!), White and Rehnquist are Boy Brutus and Chibi Pompey.
Celebrating a murder = Pro-Life
Jennifer, those Gatlin’ guns would slow down your car quite a bit (if not cave in the roof).
Yes, but they look so butch. I mean, just seeing one of them coming up behind you on the highway would be enough to get you to move your slow ass over into the right hand lane, where it belongs.
Endless repig hypocrisy = tough intellectual consistency
Fact-free arguments from repigs = rigorous intellectual discussion
Fact-filled rebuttals from Liberals to those “arguments” = hate speech
Remember, kids: in a Small Government
– you don’t have a right to privacy,
-the right to ask the court in which you are detained to bring charges against you or otherwise explain that detention is conditional,
-the government needs to spend 4% of its GDP on a robust mix of $500 hammers, multibillion-dollar planes designed to avoid the radar our former enemy never had in working order to start a nuclear holocaust with gravity instead of sophisticated MIRVs for some reason (and let’s not forget those sophisticated MIRVs), massive bonuses for big contracts handed out to well-connected suppliers, six-figure salaries for steroidal brutes who can kill anyone they like, and a minimum wage for whoever occupies our contractors’ shitty vans with butch names in a country Israeli hawks don’t like. (Now, give those guys a college education? Don’t be crazy. Spending 4.001% of your GDP on the military is Maoism at work.)
-You have absolute freedom of religion, provided you belong to the same denomination as the President and by ‘freedom of’ you mean ‘taxpayer money to support using’ and by ‘religion’ you mean ‘your congregants’ faith to push government initiatives’.
But that’s just the “rights” that the freedom agenda frees you from. These are the rights of all citizens in a small government that tax-and-spend statists don’t want you to know about:
-The right to pay your employees anything you can get away with
-The right to fire your employees for any reason
-The unconditional right to have sex with any of your employees past the fifth thousand
-The right to kill the poor on sight for any reason
-The right to security in property values from Mexicans or other brown people on or about your massive suburban estate
-Freedom from fear of your employees unionizing or whistleblowing over the ludicrous lengths to which you will go to make the slightest personal profit
-Freedom from want of ability to blow the tops off of mountains, processing the rubble in your massive smelting plant, and freedom from elitist hippie petit-villageurs complaining about their rivers catching fire
-Freedom of Reagan-worship
-Freedom of hate speech
Order Small Government now and we’ll throw in freedom absolutely free! A value of blart for the low price of keeping the base angry enough at imaginary liberals not to rape and dismember you and wallow in your ill-gotten wealth after your insane provocations have grown too much to bear. Call today, libs!
Hell, if that’s what you’re trying to achieve, forget the Gatling gun and just go cruising down the freeway in one of these babies.
Rap music = torture
Confederate flag = heritage != hate
You know, I was brought up to be, and always have been, an admirer of Harry Truman. But you know what? Most of our current problems can be blamed on a true Witches’ Sabbath of stupidity that happened on his watch, and specifically in 1947:
1) Some senator went on a tour of Western army bases and found out that despite the Pentagon’s oft-repeated threats to bomb the Soviet Union into oblivion if they got too uppity, with atomic bombs falling like rain out of (as-yet unavailable) B-36s, that we had, or could assemble with a month’s warning, exactly 13 Fat Man-type bombs and had no plans to make any more in the foreseeable future. He went back to Washington and started the panic that (unilaterally) launched the arms race.
2) Even though the post-war breakup of the British Empire was a prerequisite for much of the aid we gave them during WWII, we suddenly decided that it was a vital interest of ours to help the French regain their colonial empire in Southeast Asia, thus setting us up as an enemy of Vietnamese independence, and giving the Viet Minh an ascendency in the movement they wouldn’t otherwise have had.
3) President Truman gave a speech on the subject of aid to the Greek government against Communist guerrillas, basically and again unilaterally, declaring the Cold War.
4) We decided to essentially bankroll and perpetually guarantee the occupation of Palestine by a foreign army.
If none of these things had happened, think how much different the history of the last 60 years would have been! So as for the Republicans being the “party of Lincoln”–I’m an admirer of Lincoln, too, but he kept these assholes in the Union, which I have come more and more to regard as the worst decision in American history. People you admire don’t always do the best things.
Yes, but (Gatling guns) look so butch.
Fighter planes still carry a modern version of the Gatling Gun.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M61_Vulcan
Awful though it is that we have to deal with the political descendents of that mouthbreather Davis shitting up our country, I kind of have to think that the awfulness of having to deal with being owned by those descendents kind of outweighs it. You’re positing an alternate universe in which teabagging would have been over the days-old Whig government announcing an end to income tax credits for feeding over a hundred slaves. Incoherent rambling about the existence of a will-manumission clause constituting a death tax, etc.
Today’s GOP, trivializing historical tragedies for political gain for 30 years and still going strong.
-G
Ewwww… me no agree. I think it’s pretty likely that a breakup of the Union would have made North America highly politically unstable and therefore a very attractive playground for belligerent European powers. Not an attractive prospect.
Well, we’ll never know what the outcome would have been. I still think we should have kept our feet on their necks until they turned themselves into a civilized state, instead of pulling the army out of the last three occupied states in return for their electoral votes in the 1876 election.
Agreed. I think that abandoning Reconstruction was one of the saddest screw-ups in US history.
I think it’s pretty likely that a breakup of the Union would have made North America highly politically unstable and therefore a very attractive playground for belligerent European powers.
There’s an old saying that goes:
“What accent would we be speaking with if the South had won the Civil War? – German.”
my hangnail is like a late-term aborto-holo-slavery-caust.
Fuck hate, and leave the hate-fucking thing lie where Jeebus flang it.
Kind of startling to see how few repeats there are … yea verily, the House Of Duh doth contain many mansions.
I only skimmed but I didn’t see this one yet:
When I’m on the radio saying shit so idiotic it’d make a bright eight-year-old facepalm, I’m “one of the greatest minds of our time” & a paragon of journalistic excellence – but when someone who can Google calls me on it, it doesn’t matter because I’m “just an entertainer” (or a regular Joe who just happens to be a “commentator”)so nyah nyah nyah.
Alternate Gratuitous Prurient Mystery:
Teh Clenis proves once & for all that Democrats are all a pack of sex-crazed pervs, & the legion of GOP pols who’ve been convicted of pederasty don’t count & if you bring them up, that’s just hate speech because shut up.
First, you don’t apologize to an idiot like Guy Cimbalo. Apologize to your readers for using the idiot’s schtick.
Second, item #4 proves that one component of Universal Health Care is Hitler squared!
Um…unilaterally?
So the Soviets overthrowing the Polish government in exile, imposing Communist rulers on all the other countries they overran, blockading and trying to starve West Berlin into submission, etc., had nothing to do with the Cold War? It was all Truman’s fault?
Not to mention that aiding the Greek government kept all of Greece from suffering under the brutal Stalinist regime imposed by the guerrillas in the northernmost regions. I feel a little personally about this because Greece happens to be the homeland of all four of my grandparents.
Understand, I don’t equate Communism with Satanism. But as practiced in the 20th century, it was a brutally repressive political philosophy, and Truman can hardly be blamed for resisting its spread.
I have a simple question for you liberals. Why is it that liberals don’t place as much of an emphasis on Patriotism as Conservatives? I mean, I’ve heard of many liberals who’ve said they hate America. Cindy Sheehan and Michelle Obama just to name a few. I’ve heard the venomous anti-Americanism on air america and the leftwing bloggers and politicans equate American Soldiers to Nazis.
I have never once heard directly or heard of a Conservative who was not Patriotic. I don’t believe there exists an unpatriotic Conservative. Never had I heard a Conservative say they hate America or compare American Troops to Nazis. Never have I heard a Conservative say anything other then praises for America. I can’t say the same for liberals.
I have never once heard a Conservative speak out in favor of the “rights” of America’s enemies. But I’ve heard many liberals speak in defense of our enemies. From Rev. Wright to Michael Moore to Barack Obama himself.
In your article above you even site the “Don’t Tread on Me” Flags, as a sign of so-called Right Wing “craziness.”
So my question to you is why don’t liberals place as much of an
emphasis on Patriotism as Conservatives?
And also, why are liberals so quick to give our Nation’s enemies the benefit of the doubt and come to their defense, while condemning Our Nation’s Fighting Men and Leaders who are defending us?
So my question to you is why don’t liberals place as much of an emphasis on Blind Obedience as Conservatives? Is it because only Conservatives deserve to be capitalized while liberals have to be spelled with a small “l”, thus signifying that they are EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!
And yes, I do have a tape of Michelle Obama saying she hates America! I got it from Chief Editor Korir and made a copy for Larry Johnson.
I have a simple question for you liberals. Why do you hate America? Don’t tell me you don’t. I know you do, according to this damning argument I pulled out of my ass.
the math from number four works out to
Hitler^2 + Hitler(Pol Pot + Satan) + (Pol Pot)(Satan) – 2 (Pol Pol) (Iron Maiden riff) or
Hitler^2 + Hitler + [(Hitler + PolPot^2)(Satan)] / PolPot
um, i think.