Moe Be Dick
Update: Uh, some guy with a Muslim name shot two soldiers at a recruiting station today, killing one, so everything equals opposite, and never mind about the abortion doctor.
Leading the way in this regard is our pal Confederate Yankee, who began this morning by absolving the right of any responsibility for the murder of ‘infanticide specialist’ George Tiller, or for the alleged gunman, the far-out-of-the-mainstream Scott Roeder — who is extremely super-far outside the mainstream of American thought, as such thought is represented by the ‘center-right blogosphere,’ including such sites as ConfederateYankee.com. Such things being as they are, Mr. Yankee directs attention instead toward the real issues: Andrew Mickel and protesters against John Yoo, both emblematic of the far-out-of-the-mainstream extreme hard-left, as it is represented by the entire left, including entities such as the US Government.
We are then treated to some of the ol’ Con Yank legerdemain for which he is justly famed, with the very next post (from this evening) sirening up an alarm about ‘African-American Muslim converts,’ a group with an established pattern of allegedly one and also possibly two recent terror-type incidents, if any. This group is extremely mainstream because of an associative likeness to President Teh Blaxxor, with his “ties to certain terrorists/authors and the 20 years he spent in the congregation of a racial separatist church.”
Anyway, right, like he said, that abortion-doctor thing — not that it mattered except as an indictment of the left — is totally canceled out in rock-bashes-scissors fashion by the appearance of a similar yet more salutary news item. Interestingly, this replacement item is made of a special kind of rock that is immune to being covered by paper, should an item of that substance next appear under consideration. In other words, no backs, double tax.
‘Moe, Moe, Moe.’
Where were we? Oh yeah:
Moe Lane, RedState:
Welcome to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, Gawker.
Oh, stop squirming. Having the chip put in doesn’t hurt *that* much.
No, it’s having the gunshot wounds put in that really hurts. Ha ha! When you’re at church!
Ha ha! For it’s just one church-shootin’ laugh after another, with laugh upon laugh in unending series. God damn that filthy DHS and their fascist report on so-called ‘right-wing extremism,’ which was made out of a big fat loaf of Khmer Rouge with Hitler sprinkles, and served in a bain chaud of the collected single tears of thousands of lone Twin Tower eagles.
And God-double-damn that ding-whoop, dang-blasted Bill Ayers, by the way, for this terrible reaping of what Obama has sown, domestic-terrorwise.
Ooh fine, we’ll just say it: All those hard-left far-liberals who are always criticizing other people’s gunmen should instead take a look in the mirror and criticize themselves, and then be criticized by conservatives, and then they should finally go back into the world and criticize one another, while conservatives help by also criticizing them and providing gunmen.
That’s a little thing that we like to call ‘reality,’ folks. Because these gunmen aren’t coming from nowhere and shooting at nobody. Quite to the contrary, they’re coming from their houses and cars and shooting at liberals. Does anyone seriously think that the liberals have no part in this? If indeed it’s the houses and cars that are causing it, then how could hundreds of commentators and talk radio hosts all simultaneously be wrong about liberals equaling insect vermin, all in exactly the same way?
I suppose they’re all tinfoil-hat lazy-metaphor-thing, with the being crazy and the hat made of tinfoil (i.e., non-depletable off-the-shelf expression for ‘believing in conspiracies’) — and not only that, but it’s like a tinfoil hat ‘on steroids,’ meaning agh uck strangled gluck by own intestines gack argle.
I’m sorry to have to tell you folks at The Gawker this, but it’s over. You’ve been tagged by the…
Hi, Betty White here for 1-800-PetMeds. Why are we picking on Moe today? Like life, it is random; but like shootings in churches, it is the fault, nay the responsibility, nay the re-fault-si-blame-ity of Young Bill Ayers, who is right now planning bombings in the early 1970s that might as well have killed somebody.
Yet isn’t it suspicious that all a right-winger has to do is to succeed where Ayers failed — i.e. in killing people — and all of a sudden, there’s not a word in the liberal media about Ayers, Saul Alinksy, or Tom Hayden, who were noted radicals of a kind that could easily have killed people at an equal or even greater rate than the right, for a combined total of many decades?
Not a single word about the millions of conservatives, statistically 100%, who didn’t kill a single person that day? Even though statistically, no conservative even killed anybody at all?
WOW, I GUESS THIS IS WHY THEY CALL IT THE ‘LIBERAL MEDIA,’ HUH? Hellzapoppin’, shiver me timbers. A heh in need is a heh-indeed. Blarf.
I’m sorry to have to tell you folks at The Gawker this, but it’s over. You’ve been tagged by the guy from the cow college as Outside the Pale, and you’re not coming back from that.
Ha ha! Cow college. Liberals are such elitists with their ag schools and even ordering mustard on hamburgers, as the upper classes have done since the invention of flip-flopping and waffles. Because Hamburg is in Europe, because do you know what country it’s in, in Europe? Hitler that’s who.
Also, well said, for ‘Outside the Pale’ is just the exact thing, right there. If ‘beyond the pale’ means past the farthest strip of horizon at which the ocean’s surface is visible, with farther points obscured by the curvature of the earth, then who’s actually in the pale? Sailors, pretty much, one would imagine. How many at Gawker fit this description? Apparently there’s usually room for more, but not always. And so watch out, as Moe says, because of Olbermann and the thing.
It’s like this: you were fine with this post, for a given value of fine: you took precisely the line that was expected of you with the Mancow narrative. Right-wing shock-jock gets waterboarded, now thinks it’s torture, yadda yadda and the Online Left cheers while it reaches for the tis… well, I’ll be polite.
We ran out of tis, and then even toi pap, but there’s an old tub soc under the cou, and when you use one of those, it takes a while to fill it up. I’m just saying, yadda yadda.
Oh wait, yes, “right-wing shock-jock gets waterboarded, now thinks it’s torture, yadda yadda.” Right, yes. Now I remember where we’ve encountered that unmistakable discursive style.
If you had left it there, nothing further would have gone on. But then you made the mistake of actually deciding that the evidence that this was a publicity stunt was actually worth publicizing. So you got yelled at for it, a little; but you just kept pushing. So now you got yelled at, for real – and it doesn’t matter in the slightest that it’s by a rampaging buffoon who believes that Cheney had secret death squads. Or that you actually agree with him that waterboarding really is torture. Or anything else, at this point.
He seems to be saying that Gawker fell for a false report that Mancow staged his waterboarding, ergo Gawker is failbad — and then, when Olbermann took Mancow’s side and yelled at Gawker, Olbermann-who-is-bad made Gawker more fail and more bad than previously they had been. Furthermore, such a combination of events puts Moe ahead of things in a way that is dispositive of gloating.
Somehow, um, misplaced in this narrative is Moe’s own published opinion that Mancow faked his waterboarding, which was posted at RedState the previous day. Concurring is this body of assertion from the usual-suspect right-wing howlers and their epigones, keen as they are on discounting any true or false thing that associates waterboarding and torture.
So no, it’s the other way around: He seems to be agreeing that Mancow actually did fake the waterboarding, which reflects poorly on Gawker because Olbermann backed Mancow and not them, even while Moe and the rest of the WingNet were agreeing with Gawker, who broke the story in the first place.
Wingnut reasoning: Like heavy metal lead guitar with lots of sweep picking and whammy bar, it’s actually pretty cool when you stop listening to it and experience it purely as a form of athletics.
The mistake that you made was assuming that the Online Left has a sense of humor about itself. It doesn’t: it barely has a general sense of humor above the ’snigger at the thought of our domestic enemies being brutalized’ level.
That’s not funny. We must insist on the term ‘Snafrican-American.’
And one of the things that it emphatically does not have a sense of humor about is the lack of real or perceived respect towards their favorite purveyors of their particular pornographic fetish.
That’s not funny. We do too have a sense of humor about the lack of that.
Above (l-r): FAPPITY-FAP-FAP! [mumble omg boring grumble] FAP-FAPPITY-FAP!
Olbermann gives them what they want, in big heaping helpings, and is thus the epitome of judgment and courage. So from now on – until you retract the entire story, beg forgiveness, and do enough atonement to satisfy his fans – you get to be one of us. Whether you like it, or not.
Weird sister, one of us,
Weird sister, one of us,
A loving cup, a loving cup,
Gooble-gabble, gooble-gabble, etc.
On the bright side, you no longer have to pretend that you actually care about recycling, that secondhand smoke is a greater killer than Hitler, that Sarah Palin is dumber than Joe Biden,
Sarah Palin, right. She’s that one in Alaska who doesn’t care about Hitler and who’s dumber than the recycling.
Hmm. A cartoon in that 1950s New Yorker style: In the background is a belching smokestack; in the foreground one guy in a striped uniform holds his arms in a complacent ‘w’ and says to a second guy, “Oy, this secondhand smoke is killing me.” Maybe add some scribbled barbed wire. Caption needs work — it’s all about concision with these one-panel cartoons.
No, no, no, the first guy does that arm gesture and looks at the second guy, and says: “Oy, this secondhand smoke is a greater killer than Hitler.”
And wait, wait, it should have a little ink drawing at the bottom right corner of Hitler sitting at a drafting table and pointing to himself like “Who, me?”
Also, the word ‘Hitler’ should be in Fette Fraktur, or some super-Teutonic typeface like that. That could be the punchline every week: Some drawing of a familiar ripped-from-the-headlines life situation, like missionaries sitting in a cannibal pot, and then underneath it says “Bla-bla, yadda-yadda, boop-be-doop, wah HITLER.”
Definite syndication. This is really coming together. Title: They’ll Do Itler Every Time. And it will! It’ll do it every time! I see no downside.
or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.
And Moe knows something about tossing it to Dick Cheney!
It’s quite liberating, really.
Yeah, totally. Handy hint: When you use up that tub soc, look in the same place and you can usually find a second one just like it.
Above: In the midnight hour, she cried
‘Moe, Moe, Moe.’
=====================
Not to mention the rest of this post. Rock on, Gavin.
Wow. This is the sort of thing I just never have the patience to write.
I don’t have the talent either, but there you go.
Also Squidward: not a realistic situation. The other two are wholly believable.
God-double-damn, Moe’s sloppy jowls must be spinning reading this. (Can he read?)
(Moe Moe Moe appears to be eating from the same chow bowl as Rick Moeran. But then, the Moes are also courageously fighting for the right to eat transfats when they’re not, I don’t know, whooping and hollering about Obami going to the theatre on Saturday night and other outrages.)
Yeah, I’m sad that I can’t write like this but I am suddenly heartened by the thought that Moe Lane probably has a 3 pack a day habit.
Bravo, Gavin!
Once again stunning lunacy in neat, easy-to-carry package, great artwork, too.
Soooo glad I read this one BEFORE going to work…
Wait — is that last cartoon a Cigarskunk reference?
And Moe knows something about tossing it to Dick Cheney!
Giant spit-take, fumbled bong, shit self. The Left may not be able to laugh at itself, but that is some funny material right there you bet.
Very nice. RB is correct, it takes one hell of a lot of patience w/ doing WORK!! to produce anything this swell.
No link to the hot SpongeDick LoadPants action? (I like squirrels w/ eye-lashes.)
Oh crap, I’m a …NO! No!!
I never figured Skeletor for a “top”.
So now Confederate Yankee is doing a terrible knockoff of Republican Party Reptile era PJ O’Rourke. Sounds right.
Yes, you are a squirly.
I figured him for a cartoony.
Maybe I’ll be smarter tomorrow.
Damn. What a place to learn something else awful about myself.
I’m just a cartoon skunk that loves cigars and Gavin M!
Gav, Gav, Gav… you really need to wait until the morning when more than us Hawaiian-types, insomniacs, and Aussie/Kiwi folk are around to appreciate.
(snork)
damn, that was good.
Damn. What a place to learn something else awful about myself.
Just be thankful you’re not Moe. He’s incapable of learning anything about himself.
In the absurd event that any Republican legislators are reading this, you’re looking at a guy who genuinely believes that Sarah Palin is the grande penseuse of the Republican Party and scared children pray that God send them Cheney to shoot the boogeyman.
This guy is who you’re gonna have to face in the primary, and most of the people voting in that are gonna like him more.
Ain’t no shame in abandoning a sinking ship, man, but the longer you wait the more likely you are to be married to Michelle Bachmann in an occult ceremony to keep it afloat. You’ve been warned.
The funny thing about Joe Biden is that he actually IS what the Repugs said George W. Bush was … but since he’s a Democrat, that’s a bad thing.
PS: Would any of you leftists seriously call a scary black man shooting the troops terrorism, who will denounce Harry Belafonte, ad infinitum.
Sandy Cheeks is an adorable lady astronaut martial-artist, and yet the auteur portrays her as if she were a Japanese schoolgirl as seen by the creative team behind South Park. I have to say I find that pretty disappointing.
On the other hand, even without accepting it as a plausible or erotic scenario I appreciate the menacing collar as an integral part of Squidward as a bondage top. It works, you know?
Best detail of that triptych, and perhaps of the entire post, is Gavin suggesting the He-Scrote to be completely work-safe.
I HAVE THE POWER
if hemingway got a fucking nobel prize for writing lame ass testosterone fueled bullfighting fantasies, surely
“We ran out of tis, and then even toi pap, but there’s an old tub soc under the cou, and when you use one of those, it takes a while to fill it up. I’m just saying, yadda yadda.”
deserves seven of them.
“Wingnut reasoning: Like heavy metal lead guitar with lots of sweep picking and whammy bar, it’s actually pretty cool when you stop listening to it and experience it purely as a form of athletics.”
dream theater ftw!
yeah alec, i saw the he-bag too. maybe it’s just a tax protest.
Who’s “you” and what the hell is Moe talking about?
Okay, I’m old, so somebody explain about Skeletor to me. Is he wearing a mask, or is that his actual naked skull above that Charles Atlas body?
I’m old too, I think that’s his real face … As opposed to his cartoon face.
I’m so confused.
Maybe I like spacesuit sex. That’s no biggie.
No, it’s his O face.
Spacesuit squirrel sex – with Texans!
I have Texan ancestors, it’s OK.
O face.
He’s an ofay?
After you pick up what’s left of your face from the dirt how many times do you have to apologize for getting in the way?
Great post, worth the scrolling.
Thank fuck that someone is protesting John Yoo.
Hey Kingubu,
You have to remember that Skeletor is always domming around Beast Man, Trap-Jaw and friends, so you know he’s got the balls for it. Skeletor doesn’t have a face, that’s his actual talking-demon-skull up there. I don’t think it’s ever explained how he does from Adam’s secret uncle Keldor to being evil Skeletor. Or if they did explain it, I don’t remember.
er, how he goes from. Sheesh, I can has read preview. Also, I meant to add: “Hey Johnny Pez” in there too. Also?
My favorite thing about the Skeletor ‘action-figure’ from the 80s was that his head was rubbery and squishy.
I think “tube sock white” would be a good lipstick color. Throw in some white gloves and I could think of my sock while getting a B&HJ combo.
So HeMan and Skeletor only fought so much because they really had a thing for each other. (In this case, literally.) Whaddaya know.
It’s quite liberating, really.
A Dick in hand and all that, eh Moe?
Shorter Moe:
“Nice political philosophy you got here. Be a shame if someone got… shot over it…”
Frank Pavone of Priests For Life, via crooksandliars:
I am saddened to hear of the killing of George Tiller. At this point, we do not know the motives of this act, or who is behind it, whether an angry post-abortive man or woman, or a misguided activist, or an enemy within the abortion industry, or a political enemy frustrated with the way Tiller has escaped prosecution. We should not jump to conclusions or rush to judgment.
Ah yes, those angry post-abortives killing their doctors – happens aaaaaaaaaall the time. Or maybe it was one of those dastardly abortion-industry enemies, always bumping each other off in their bitter, eternal quest to get the high score for most murdered babies. It’s all so eminently rational and likely.
Also – an angry, post-abortive man? Sit down, little Frank; I think it’s time somebody told you about the birds and the bees.
OH FUCK YOU I WAS EATING YOU CUNTS
an angry post-abortive man or woman
Pardon the pedantry, but the phrase “post-abortive” would seem to imply that the shooter was the one who had been aborted, thus the concept becomes all the stupider.
You realize the only reason he put ‘woman’ in there (second!) is that abortion makes it difficult to stick it in your wife, what with it meaning she’s a whore and all, so obviously it’s a pernicious threat to the right to property. Sheesh: even by the awful standards of our misandrist society, suggesting that women have a right to be angry about things that happen to their husband/father’s vagina is disgusting.
Paging the GOP, paging the GOP… it’s a message from the Nazi Party: “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”.
You know, that picture up top – the red in the background is just the right color for Photoshopping in a, oh, say, let’s say a red flag with a white circle and black Hakenkreuz in behind Moe… just sayin…
Kid, what happened to your flapjacks?
So a right-winger shooting up a church to kill an abortion doctor is the fault of Bill Ayers, in a sort of “Kumbaya, we’re all in this together, Hands Across America” sense, but a Muslim plot to take down a synagogue or two is also the fault of Bill Ayers, because we ought to single out people like that on the left and get rid of them?
My brain hurts, a little.
That’s a beautiful cartoon trilogy – it tells a sequential story and everything – but my question is about being a bottom in space togs.
Is it part of a new NASA training program?
Repig,
That’s not space togs, that’s a dry suit.
It’s doable, I suppose. Never heard of a relief valve for anal penetration before, but I would imagine there must be SOME form of catherization.
…we need a large table with six big holes, and a meat mallet. Seemingly at random, and accompanied by a jaunty tune, a big, sweaty, be-jowelled head pops up out of one of the holes and spits some insipid wingnut talking point, at which point you try to crack him a good one with the Hammer of Truth before he disappears. And thus, the hot new craze that is Whack-A-Moe sweeps the nation…
Its the only explanation I could come up with that covers both Moe’s sparkling personality and rapier wit (chronic head trauma), and that weird sunburn that bisects his face (he gets stuck in the hole mid-jowl).
And thus, the hot new craze that is Whack-A-Moe sweeps the nation…
I’d play it.
*pop* “It’s just fratboy hazing!”
*pop* “Pouring water on someone’s face!”
*pop* “Global Warming? What Gl-” *WHAMMM!*
*pop* “Barry Sotero!”
*pop* “ACOR-” *WHAMMM!*
*pop* “Tax an-” *WHAMMM!*
… or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.
No kidding — I always sub-contract my personal self-defense to multiple stroke victims.
if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt
whereupon Shotgun Dick would shoot you in the face and then wait for you to apologize to him for it.
Cheney did manage to shoot a friend of his in the face…
Doh!
So, uh, why again am I giving my gun to a man whose most notable feat of arms was to shoot a buddy in the fucking face?
OK, I’m previewing before hitting submit next time.
Doh!
It’s the apologizing thing I keep going back to. That’s just so goddamn conservative.
I wouldn’t toss the gun to Dick Cheney, I’d toss it to someone who had actually served in the military and new how to shoot.
And thanks for the picture of Moe. I don’t know what it is, but I need to see these wingnuts’ faces. It never fails to make me feel superior, in a master-race sort of way.
Pardon the pedantry, but the phrase “post-abortive” would seem to imply that the shooter was the one who had been aborted, thus the concept becomes all the stupider.
Aborted, abandoned, so long as its clear mom gave up on him…
weird sunburn that bisects his face
Tongue jacking the shitbox outdoors can do that to you.
there must be SOME form of catherization.
Oooohhhh, catheter-to-catheter sex. A new dimension in pleasure, thanks to our dear friend Medical Technology!
And thus, the hot new craze that is Whack-A-Moe sweeps the nation…
No, no, no, NO! You can’t say “whack” when referring to repigs! It is Dangerous Hate Speech, and incites riots and Liberal Death Squads to their evil designs.
But, as always, IOKIYAR.
#
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
June 2, 2009 at 13:37 (kill)
OH FUCK YOU I WAS EATING YOU CUNTS
Look, if you’re gonna roam the interducks, you can’t let a little Rule 34 put you off your feed.
I was at work, I almost died. It was awesomely hilarious, only because no one saw. Damn you, Sadly, No!
Seriously, great post. The caption on that, er, image, is particularly rofl-worthy
if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt
Why not one of the other five?
A Top 10 post, Gavin.
Great, now I’m thinking about how Rule #34 would apply to sweep picking.
… or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.
I’d give it to my wife, who I’ve seen shoot a 1-inch group at 20′ with her Colt Python .357
And yes, I’m very, very nice to my wife.
I’d give it to my wife, who I’ve seen shoot a 1-inch group at 20? with her Colt Python .357
So she’s shot Republican dicks before…
Oh you poor naive libs: the cunning Moe is just waiting to release the vault-copy of a wiretap transcript that proves that Roeder acted on direct orders from Ayers, under direct orders from HIS overseer Rahm Emanuel! He got the devastating document from Chief Editor Korir in person for only $1500, & now he has you right where he wants you. The trap has been set!
Rock on, Wingnut Nation – yeah baby! It doesn’t matter if most folks don’t know or care who he is or what he really did in the 60s – just keep going with that whole Ayers fetish … after all, it worked like a charm last time!
Teh Wingnut Charter: if at first you don’t fail, try disconnecting the brake-lines & spray-painting the windshield black.
or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.
Oh yeah, peeps, we would all TOTALLY do that because seeing him get his ass kicked by the 5 maniacal frothers after he shoots one in the face(or all 6 after he misses; apparently he needs a couple drinks in him to be in top face-shooting form) would be worth it.
Moe, Moe, Moe!
How do you like me? How do you like me!?
Moe, Moe, Moe!
Why don’t you like me? Nobody likes me…
Moe, Moe, Moe!
How do you like me? How do you like me!?
Moe, Moe, Moe!
Why don’t you like me? Nobody likes me…
How do you like your sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug? o/~
This from the crowd that makes “St. Pancake” jokes about Rachael Corrie, creates “Liberal Hunting Permit” stickers and “Rope, Tree, Journalist: Some Assembly Required” t-shirts and regularly laments the fact that police don’t use live ammunition on protesters. News flash reichwingers, those people making endless jokes about brutalizing and murdering political opposites? That would be you fuckers, not us.
yeah, why do wingnuts think Cheney, the canned quail hunter, is a good shot?
J— said,
June 2, 2009 at 16:37
Great, now I’m thinking about how Rule #34 would apply to sweep picking.
Cf.
“or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.”
?!???
Oh that takes the cake.
Especially after Dick calmly announced that Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11.
Don’t see many references to sweep picking on humor blogs. Nicely done.
So is that a decrepit, cheeto-stained hand sitting mysteriously on Moe’s left shoulder or is it catastrophic earwax spillage?
Don’t see many references to sweep picking on humor blogs.
Otherwise known as arpeggios. By Lanvin.
yeah, why do wingnuts think Cheney, the canned quail hunter, is a good shot?
Easy answer: He’s a manly man and so therefore capable of everything a manly man should be, accurate gun shootin’ being one of those. Never mind he’s about as manly as a wet sponge with that bad heart.
Nuanced answer: He’s not, but he is a brutal-minded thug, which is what the neo-fascist right wing is convinced deters criminals, terrorists, anarchists, Commies, liberals and other assorted ne’erdowell assaulters of all that is good and pure. Bully = good defender in today’s America.
Breaking: quaint skin magazine run entirely by sixty-year-old women is misogynist.
Aooga, indeed
that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt
Why not one of the other five?
One stop shopping:
… This article is about a vicious tactic which the left has devised to eliminate free speech in America…
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=4609
That plumbbobblog post is gold, from its manifoldishly interpretable headline (“Abortion Advocate Mob Storms Free Speech”) to these two paragraph-opening sentences, in quick succession:
He concludes:
So true, bob, but at least when we gain momentum we do it by increasing velocity.
Young Bill Ayers, who is right now planning bombings in the early 1970s that might as well have killed somebody.
This is very funny, and it is also exactly what they think.
a racial separatist church
How can an integrated congregation be part of “a racial separatist church”? That doesn’t make any sense.
Oh, right. I forgot.
“Breaking: quaint skin magazine run entirely by sixty-year-old women is misogynist.”
Much as I like looking at nekkid ladies, I wouldn’t want to defend Playboy on this one. Really, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
Much as I like looking at nekkid ladies, I wouldn’t want to defend Playboy on this one.
I will.
They pulled the article. Nuff said. If only right wingers were as fast to retract hateful things as Playboy was.
“I wouldn’t want to defend Playboy on this one”
Yes, I’m responding to myself. Sue me.
It occurs to me that they only seem to be concerned about women when it suits their politics.
Dur, by “they” I of course mean Conservitards.
I just thought it was funny that a magazine that is mainly directed by women, and whose peekaboo approach to sexuality has been outdated for at least the last thirty years, is now suddenly controversially misogynist.
I just thought it was funny that a magazine that is mainly directed by women, and whose peekaboo approach to sexuality has been outdated for at least the last thirty years, is now suddenly controversially misogynist.
The humour for me was the idea that these cretins who have been fapping all these years to the airbrushed images painted into paper have suddenly decided that women should be honored and treasured as equals.
Cheney, the canned quail hunter
Shooting quail in the can is even easier than shooting fish in a barrel.
Weird sister, one of us
Huh. I always heard that as “We accept her, one of us”.* Great reference though – perfectly apt.
Also, I never went to Moe,Moe,Moe’s site before as doing so couldn’t possibly be more enjoyable than reading the translations here. So, I had no idea! What the fuck does he think he’s doing with that background? It ups the unreadability factor by, I dunno, mebbe a couple thousand percent.
And the banner! It has a dirigible labeled moelane.com and it’s the fucking Hindenburg! Is he really all that fucking idiotically st00pit™?**
* I am fully prepared to defend my placement of the ‘.’ outside the closing ‘”‘ but if challenged I will likely just call you poopyhaid>/i>.
** The question is, quite obviously, purely rhetorical.
> or that if you had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down at you that you wouldn’t toss it to Dick Cheney and hit the dirt.
If I had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down on me, I’d shoot Cheney and take my chances with the maniacs.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Ladies and Gentleman: Kimberly Morin, from the Boston Conservative Independent Examiner:
Yes, that’s right, as we speak “the left” is singing the praises of this Muslim terrorist, as detected by their not being as vocal as conservatives think the situation merits, given that no one in this country ever speaks out against Muslim terrorists, it’s like no one has ever had the gumption to suggest that Muslim terrorists are wrong, and they are all funded by ACORN and Barney Frank too.
<blockquoteYoung Bill Ayers, who is right now planning bombings in the early 1970s that might as well have killed somebody.
What’s really funny is that Ayers made considerable efforts to ensure that no one would get hurt by his bombs. He targeted property, not people.
But what about John Brown, slavery, blarty blart? Would you libs say that blart blart blarty blart?
That’s what I thought blart.
I dunno. If you could convince Cheney that there was some personal financial benefit to be gained from getting rid of the frothing maniacs, there’s a chance he might pass the gun on to some 18-year-old ethnic minority from a disadvantaged background and tell them to deal with the problem, instead of just shooting you straight away.
The premeds in my Australian co-writer’s science department referred to this as “bladder tennis”. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect.
Still, the conservatives must be ever so thankful that this happened.
“Muslim convert with scary-ass Muslim name and with anti-war connections assassinates real American soldiers on real American soil! Obama makes us less safe than we were starting from 9/12/2001! WE TOLD YOU, WHY DIDN’T YOU BELIEVE?! I TOLD YOU TO BELIEVE ME!?! CODE PINK?! BILL AYERS! NUKE MECCA TO SHOW WHO’S BOSS!”
I swear to fucking God.
I’m full of html FAIL this morning, aren’t I?
Our relatively lower level of horror is far, far worse than murder? Did you make that up, Cid? I mean, I have a hard time imagining anyone being so hateful, so whackadoodly politicat, so… wait – I can imagine Malkin, Coulter et. al., so never mind.
Outrageous! I do not think that word means that she thinks it means.
They joined to Army to protect ALL Americans
Which of course naturally they’re doing in Iraq because shut up that’s why.
Any comments that I may have on the subject at hand are pre-empted by the sight of He-Man’s uncensored balzac.
You stupid libs have to apologize for the Muslim who shot the soldiers even though your sympathies for Muslims is centered mostly in our unhinged whiningnut pseudo-brains.
On the other hand, us crazed women-hating anti-choice, pro-government-control assholes don’t have to apologize for the Tiller shooting because you guys MADE us shoot him!
St. Trotsky, you forgot to credit Little Debbie, from whom I believe you lifted your post directly.
She is upset about how the ultra-leftist Wall Street Journal is treating the Army recruiter murder.
Also, JOOOOOO
When I hear all these righties on the air say “My prayers are with Doctor Tiller’s family,” I don’t believe them. Either that they pray, or that they are with Dr. Tiller’s family.
NUKE MECCA TO SHOW WHO’S BOSS!
The fact that Barry Hussein has not invaded Iran, Syria, Venezuela and North Korea in retaliation for this cold-blooded murder of American soldiers is proof positive he’s the Manchurian Candidate we told you he was.
/wingnut
St. Trotsky, you forgot to credit Little Debbie, from whom I believe you lifted your post directly.
Alas, it’s all but a complete coincidence. But I’ll be stuck with a plagiarist rap anyway. Oh well, another thing me and Joe Biden share.
That’s what’s always impressed me about gun-wankers. I can respect someone like mikey who actually practices what he preaches, but for the tighty-righties it’s all about swinging around a giant steel penis and making weak things die.
When your idea of self-defense is trying to evict a neighbor at gunpoint for being brown during a hurricane, your idea of hunting is shooting wolves from a Cessna or blasting away at drugged quail at point-blank range, and your idea of wit is whining about people you like not being murdered by the State, you’re always gonna have some problems keeping your self-image in line with the way the world sees you.
They’re only concerned about anything when it suits their politics. That and it can’t just have occurred to you: it was the entire game with Palin all along. Wah wah wah misogyny belly-laughs blue lips elitist homo defend white womanhood bhhh.
I believe it goes ‘We accept you, we accept you! Greeble gobble, greeble gobble, one of us, one of us!‘ Or at least that’s how Devo did it, and I’m prepared to accept their version as canonical.
Would someone with more time on their hands than me please find and print public-domain images of harlequin fetus, headless conjoined twins, anencephalics, cyclopes, and the other hateful abominations we decadent liberals deny human rights out of ‘concern’ for the ‘health’ of the ‘mother’ and send them to any dipshit who writes an editorial like this for a major paper? They need to be confronted with the consequences of their actions, and unlike back-alley abortions (every gynecologist in a major city before Roe had to extricate part of a woman’s intestine from her uterus at least once), the vile tree the kulturkampfists have planted against obligate abortions still bears its strange and bitter fruit.
RE the Playboy article = outrageously, assholishly DUMB, but c’mon, “what’s the difference between a hate-fuck and rape” is ridiculous: it’s the CONSENT, assholes. Consent is ALWAYS the difference between sex that squicks you out but is OK and none of your goddam business anyway and sex that isn’t OK. Frankly it’s not hard to understand and yet you NEVER FUCKING GET IT.
Also, seriously, what the fuck!
All they needed was for Carlos to be here on an expired student visa from Venezuela and he’d be the wingnut trifecta.
Is Moe Lane any relation to Nathan Lane?
All they needed was for Carlos to be here on an expired student visa from Venezuela and he’d be the wingnut trifecta.
That, or snuck over the Mexican border.
I take it you’re coyly suggesting that you’ve fucked a doctor on a public train, and upon ‘maxing drew a little curio wherein Calvin pisses on the word ‘Scranton’.
Well, a pope never kisses and tells.
Also: If ‘beyond the pale’ means past the farthest strip of horizon at which the ocean’s surface is visible, with farther points obscured by the curvature of the earth
It doesn’t.
If I remember my social studies correctly, beyond the pale means being in Scotland.
Debbie sez:
Shockingly, she does not apply this logic to Scott Roeder.
It means ‘too Irish to live’, more or less, referencing the Pale separating Dublin from the rest of Ireland.
My favorite misinterpretation is mistaking that for the Pale of Settlement, which basically turns ‘beyond the pale’ into ‘eternal Jew’. Like liberal America’s many little Eichmanns, I could do this all day.
He-Man’s uncensored balzac
Also troubling that He-Man and Skeletor seem to riding flaubert-back. Safety first, kids.
It means ‘too Irish to live’, more or less, referencing the Pale separating Dublin from the rest of Ireland.
Fuck! Got the wrong ‘land. I need to refresh myself on geography lessons again.
We accept her, we accept her.. Variations of “gooba gabble and gooble gobble.” Canonical.
but c’mon, “what’s the difference between a hate-fuck and rape” is ridiculous: it’s the CONSENT, assholes. Consent is ALWAYS the difference between sex that squicks you out but is OK and none of your goddam business anyway and sex that isn’t OK. Frankly it’s not hard to understand and yet you NEVER FUCKING GET IT.
What are you talking about? Women never consent to sex because they all think it’s icky they just lie back and think of England so really rape is just the same as sex anyway why does everyone keep looking at me like that?
So drunk you miss the bucket?
Amity Shlaes today –
“Atlas Is Shrugging With a Growing Load”.
Oh, Metaphor, why do you so mock the Wingnut?
Wikipedia suggests generalized boundary etymology.
If I had a gun and six frothing maniacs bearing down on me, I’d shoot Cheney and take my chances with the maniacs.
Likely you’d have five bullets and six new BFFs.
Shlaes is ever on cue. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the last years of absolute meltdown, it’s that now’s the time to be slashing taxes on the rich and deregulating business, because, well, why the fuck not?
Also troubling that He-Man and Skeletor seem to riding flaubert-back. Safety first, kids.
But wouldn’t that cause a Baudelaire?
Beaten to Atlas Frugged.
Women never consent to sex
Unless you pay them enough. You forgot to add that.
“Atlas Is Shrugging With a Growing Load”.
Boy, you’re going to carry that wait.
Misread the tab tag for a mo…ment. Thought it said: Sadly, Moe!
Gave me the cold shudders, it did.
“Unless you pay them enough. You forgot to add that.”
Hooo boy yes. Do NOT forget to tip well.
Even by Republican economic operative standards, Shlaes is pretty one-note and shallow. (This is taking flacks like Laffer into account – a class of people whose job it is to characterize things as wonderful without actually knowing what those things or wonderful are.) I imagine she’s going to call Up a tragic cri de coeur from America’s overtaxed entrepreneurs – you know, it’s right there in the title.
Seriously, I bet the only thing keeping her from blaming Tiller’s murder on FDR was an unusually conscious editor. It’s kind of what she does with the air and food she is entitled to in a way anyone who has to work for a living evidently isn’t.
Shlaes is ever on cue.
If by “cue”, you mean “mega-rich cock”, absolutely.
It is simply not possible to obsess the way she does over the tax burden of the rich – without ever mentioning how the distribution of wealth makes the skew inevitable – without having mega-rich cock on the brain.
But do be careful HOW you pay. Especially if you’re investigating bankers, if you know what I mean.
Amity Shlaes looks like she should be a supporting actress in a straw hat theater version of “The Crucible,” preferably as one of the sheeple “Goodies” who go along with whatever their man says.
Indeed, she even writes like that.
Dear Gavin: Please write a book.
Thank you from your pal,
MzNicky
PS — Hey, I don’t care what it’s about! Just write it already!
I still don’t think I want rich cock on my brain, no matter how much better it might prove than regular cock placed into a more typical receptical.
And I second MzNicky.
Dear Gavin: Please write a book.
I third MzNicky. And I have an idea, but maybe it’s already been done.
Write a “Conservatives Are Evil” book in the style of Ann The Man, or for that matter, any of the other wingnut America-haters’ books.
Take no fucking prisoners, and if the nutjobs start whining (which of course they will), repeat the excuses that Ann The Man, etall, use – WORD FOR WORD.
Someone gave me one of those John Hodgman books recently. I enjoyed it (and worried that I’d been unknowingly ripping it off for most of my life via some chronotonic jiggery-pokery) but the main lesson of it is that really entertaining books can be made by stringing together trivia and bullshit. No surprise that he rates for The Book of Lists.
really entertaining books can be made by stringing together trivia and bullshit
Really? No shit?
Damn. And I have both of those in abundance. Where’s mah gawdam contract and advance?
Where’s mah gawdam contract and advance?
In your new charcoal grill
According to the headlines over on MSNBC.com (hey, it’s the only news page I can get to on a regular basis at wor- *ahem* during the weekdaywinkwinknudge) the Chinese are going to be buying ex-GM’s Hummer division. (cue the predictable double entendres…)
What I love about that is the jingo-wingnut vehicle of choice will now be made by TEH RED CHINEE! ooooh that’s gonna stick in craws all over Wingnuttia.
Oh, do I ever. Even without the bankers.
Why do I get the feeling the Chinese think they’re buying Hummel figurines?
Further thoughts on writing a book….
A good friend of mine is a well-known author, had a book at #1 on the NYT list, yadda³ He told me that publishers will more likely publish a book that has an audience already. IOW, a prospective author overcomes 90% of the odds against new writers by having a provable known audience that will (ahem) buy the book he/she writes.
For some reason publishers like evidence that the authors they give advances to will sell books…. I think you have that covered.
Write a “Conservatives Are Evil” book in the style of Ann The Man, or for that matter, any of the other wingnut America-haters’ books.
I have been wanting to see this book for a long time – I originally envisioned Al Franken writing it (but Gavin would be great, and he isn’t a senator), and I see the title as “EVIL” in big letters on the cover, with Al (or Gavin) leaning on the letters and looking all sultry and stuff (a la Ann Coulter) only with clown makeup or something. plus all the rest mr. lipstick suggests.
What I love about that is the jingo-wingnut vehicle of choice will now be made by TEH RED CHINEE! ooooh that’s gonna stick in craws all over Wingnuttia.
I would have preferred the “secret buyer” turn out to be Muslim. The ease with which nutjobs and wingnuts buy things from China is amply illustrated by their Walmart habits.
Not that there’s anything unusual about anti-socialists buying massive quantities of goods from socialistic countries. By definition,, if it’s a wingnut their actions CANNOT make sense and must be hypocritical.
They take an oath to make sure of it.
The ease with which nutjobs and wingnuts buy things from China is amply illustrated by their Walmart habits.
Of course, Wal-Fart does everything they can to hide the origin of their goods, cloaking it under a big curtain of red white & blue. What the Chinese should do, therefore, is make the new Sino-Hummer unmistakably Chinese – chrome characters on the hood, red & yellow color schemes, free sunscreen with a picture of Precious Mao on the front…
Of course, wingnuts could just not buy a Chinese Hummer. But do you think that’s going to stop them? The fucking thing could have “FOR THE PEOPLE’S LIBERATION” on the side with pictures of Lenin and Mao and these cheesedicks would be snappin’ em up anyway. “But it be so much SAFER!”
“I would have preferred the ‘secret buyer’ turn out to be Muslim. The ease with which nutjobs and wingnuts buy things from China is amply illustrated by their Walmart habits.”
Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to stop thinking it’s funny to make jokes about how them Orientals eat poodles. And as terrified of the dread Saracens as they are, they respect their wingnut overlords slightly more, which is why the President leaning in to shake hands with a guy he’s taller than will cause the collapse of our civilization, but the previous president playing tongue hockey in the direction of Mecca is reaffirmamating our commitmentarism to our allies in the War on Turrist Asses Yet Unkicked.
Let’s face it, we’re talking about a vehicle whose sales slogan is “As a matter of fact, you DO own the road!”
Let’s face it, we’re talking about a vehicle whose sales slogan is “As a matter of fact, you DO own the road!”
Proposed new slogan:
You may own the road, but the proletariat owns the means of production!
Let’s face it, we’re talking about a vehicle whose sales slogan is “As a matter of fact, you DO own the road!”
Proposed new slogan:
“Now made with 30% more
poodlecoal emissions.”They could add an epicanthic fold to the headlights.
What the Chinese should do, therefore, is make the new Sino-Hummer unmistakably Chinese
They could add an epicanthic fold to the headlights.
And wrap it in red silk.
I sense a photoshop looming in the distance.
Like everyone has the tact to leave that one alone.
Sadly, I expect to see it on a wingnut site screeching about how Obama is selling the country to the Chinese. Without irony.
Where’s mah gawdam contract and advance
“Curses, I’m shrinking! Hey baby, you’re pretty cute!”
So he could shoot you in the face, thus saving you from being violated in terrible ways by the maniacs, who are probably gays with rabies.
at least when we gain momentum we do it by increasing velocity.
I see what you do there, Mr “momentum = mass x velocity” Shackleford.
Fuck you and the horse you Rodin!
I’ll do nothing of the Sartre!
I know I’m late to the beyond the pale party, but from the OED:
He told me that publishers will more likely publish a book that has an audience already.
Gavin has that.
What about a S,N! annual coffee-table compendium? (In time for Xmas, of course.)
I can’t find an image of the uncensored Balzac sculpture that the Goddamn Batman may be thinking of. It’s an outstanding piece of work.
Smut, this one?
http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/opencollection/objects/112861
Oh hell, here…take the whole lot of them!
http://images.google.com/images?rls=ig&hl=en&q=balzac%20nude&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
What about a S,N! annual coffee-table compendium? (In time for Xmas, of course.)
Ooh, I like that idea! “The Best of Sadly, No!”, complete with photoshopped images and the comments in a sidebar on every page. Hey kids! Let’s put on a book! I’ll be the editor.
Rodin did a headless clay sketch for his robed version of Balzac. It’s in the Rodin Museum but not on show on account of NSFW issues (though it turned up in an exhibition in London’s National Gallery a year or two back) — let’s say that Balzac has the problem well in hand.
Thank you Smut @ 22:28.
So this one, Smut:
http://www.cantorfoundation.org/Rodin/Gallery/rvg43.html
Gosh, my comment at Big Failywood – in a post about how great torture is – was deleted for referring to Scott Roeder and asking whether he should be tortured for info on future terrorist attacks. Hunh.
A warning was all I needed, brah.
Seems like being headless would limit your potential for success as an athlete.
Best He-Man Episode EVAR!!!
ah shit, WP spam filter kicked in. Will hope the comment is stored.
Poster X ,(@ Red State ~ Feb. ’08) re illegal wiretapping: ” yada,yada,yada …..[snip] .. What the Bush administration did was a radical departure [emphasis mine] from past administrations.”
About a 1/2 mi. down the thread :
Poster Y :” How do you respond to ‘ If you’ve done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear.’ ?”
Poster X : 1)Point 1
2)Point 2
3) Point 3
Me: ” I agree , Poster X. Good answers. Also …. yada, yada,yada.”. where (in part) I relate my experiences on jury duty, seeing perfectly innocent words and behavior made to look sinister, by police and prosecutors. That’s in the open, with some safeguards from judge,jury, and the law. What happens when it’s all secret? …. etc.,etc.
Moe Lane ” You wanna reconsider that Sparky?”
Me : Ignore, ’cause I didn’t know that I was “Sparky” .
Moe Lane ” You agree with Poster X? The administrators will probably ban you . That guy’s calling us all ‘racist’.” [see Poster X’s 1st post.
Me (in my head) “Wtf?” as I try to respond, but can’t – I’m already banned! ( My 2nd post . I think Billo “borrowed” my first one , an immigration snark, and turned it into a snide attack on Hillary;)
So…. in Moe’s Wingdalexical mind,”radical” = “racist”.
In other words, it’s Moe Lane, what’d ya expect ? 🙂
Seems like being headless would limit your potential for success as an athlete.
However, it simplifies the Photoshop possibilities. Not that I’m suggesting anything.
Sweet fancy Moses, that was beautiful!
we gain momentum we do it by increasing velocity
Ever try decreasing your mass instead?
It occurs to me that they only seem to be concerned about women when it suits their business model.
Fized.
Best He-Man Episode EVAR!!!
The starter ad was for the Navy…
I’m late to this party, but I’m tickled pink by the notion that Muslim terrorists want more government control.