How do they keep doing it?

[Insert standard observation on the continuing bonk-headed fucktardedness of the US press.]

Take it away, lead story on CNN*:

Bush: Secret wiretaps to continue
Defends eavesdropping on international communications

President Bush said today he will continue the U.S. government’s use of secret wiretaps to monitor activities of people suspected of being connected to al Qaeda. “To save American lives we must be able to act fast and to detect these conversations so we can prevent new attacks,” Bush said during a year-end news conference at the White House.

And it goes on like that.

Because apparently, when you get a warrant for a search or wiretap (i.e. do it according to the law), the judge calls up the suspect and is all like, “Guess what, fella? I just signed a warrant to search or wiretap you!” But instead, because Al Qaeda is extra-sneaky and might be like, “Dudes, this judge just called me, so (cough cough) ixnay on the error-tay, por favor,” President Bush wants to do it ‘secretly.’ Meanwhile, critics are demanding an end to ‘eavesdropping.’

Or, if there’s some other way to explain how this lead paragraph makes sense, I’m missing it.

Does the notion of obtaining-warrants come up at all in this CNN story? Happily, yes! Take it away, Paragraph Eleven:

The NSA monitors billions of communications worldwide. Although the NSA is barred from domestic spying, it can get warrants issued with the permission of a special court called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) Court. The court is set up specifically to issue warrants allowing wiretapping on domestic soil.

A fine bit of background color. But let’s edit that just a wee.

The NSA monitors billions of communications worldwide. Although the NSA is barred from domestic spying, it can get warrants issued with the permission of a special court called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) Court. The court is set up specifically to issue warrants allowing wiretapping on domestic soil[, but President Bush ordered that wiretaps be done without FISA warrants — and this is the thing that people are so upset about.]

See, we can offer these corrections because unlike the shoestring operation that CNN is running, we have a massive and highly-trained organization of hypothetical cat minions. We simply have them outgunned.

*Woop, they changed it.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — President Bush defended using government wiretaps without court authorization to monitor terrorism suspects and urged the Senate to renew the USA Patriot Act during his year-end news conference Monday.

“Reeow! Hsfpt!”


Comments: 29


My Senators (or rather their office staff) assure me that Congress is investigating this issue. I’m glad to hear it, but why not just impeach the SOB?


Nice edit Gavin but perhaps we could be a little bit more succinct – how’s about:

“Bush is a lying sack of shit and the worst President eva and 4 eva!!!!! EAT IT COBAGS!!!!!!”

No that my friends is journalism.


Gavin’s edit is blatant and irresponsible speculation based on factual evidence, and not part of any system of journalistic ethics CNN is aware of.


*points towards Washington D.C.* RELEASE THE EVIL CAT MINIONS!


…why not just impeach the SOB?

If an impeachment could be forced by the minority party, you bet it would happen.


What no one in the media wants to point out is that, if the SOB is sooo worried about how long a warrant takes, he can wiretap first and then tell the FISA judge what he did. But the SOB isn’t even willing to do that.



Gregor- I was going to say, “No that ISN’T Journalism, but it should be.”


FTLOG, Probably because it goes much deeper than they’re admitting right now.


You know, it’s not even like the judge has to call the suspect to give him the news that there’s a tap on him, they can keep it secret or sealed. Also, in emergency situations (the only real justification I can see for this), the FBI or other agency can install a wiretap without a warrant, provided that within 72 hours they either cease and desist or get a real warrant. I believe all that is pre-9/11 too. The only reason for this is that the government wants to be able to tap anyone they want without restrictions. BEcause before, if the FBI said “we want to tap the phones of this mosque and look at their mail and hack their computer systems just because they’re muslim and not because anyone in their congregation has any link to anything,” a judge or magistrate would laugh them out of court and there would be no warrant. But now? Well, if some retarded mormon FBI section head thinks that a mosque is too close to the White House, the Washington Monument, or hell, a highway or dam or airport, then he can go ahead and do all that without anyone even known. And the worst part is? They’re all (or mostly all) US CITIZENS!! It’s sick.


Oh and OT, but you guys shouldn’t have left that AndRightlySo site, that place is a gold mine, I stuck around and i’m really demoloshing them. They don’t know how to argue a simple point, its hilarious. Look at this classic Raven quote
“McCain knows of torture and so do I?it?s awful and it effects people for the rest of their lives. I know it.

That?s exactly why we SHOULD be able to use it on terrorists. Who would think nothing of killing YOU, me, my kids, my neighbors, your friends?.your family. “
It’s almost as if two different people said those statements, that’s powerful ignorance there…


I meant the whole quote to be in Itals… not sure what happened…


Hey, mon — ev’ry ting should be i-tal….


Just checked out And Rightly So!…

Oh man. Wooh. It’s like, how do you choose what to make fun of?


I was just going to say – using happily, yes instead of “and rightly so”?
Gavin, if you want a start, I’d check out either the post about how our enemies are “young arab males,” and liberal simps like us are just coddling them, or how us liberal simps are also commies and, I swear this is a direct quote, a collection of “slimecunt[s]”.


Haha, I think it was lucy they calleda slimetwat.

Gavin – I go with the shotgun effect, I comment on everything, take a look at how quiet they get after me or someone else sane weighs in.
Quiet that is, except for the obligatory swipes at “Marxists and lefties”.
I’ve told them I’ve never read Marx… It doesen’t seem to matter. Christ I don’t even know what a marxist is… is it like a communist???


Oh, was it slimetwat? I gotta keep these things straight.

Anyways, apparently the diffrence between a marxist and a commie is… uhhhh… hell, I don’t know, but I think we all meet at the same america-hating inernational house of terrorist waffles for breakfast.


Mmmm, waffles of mass destruction. They’re desolatious!


Timmah420, Gavin M. is the gift that keeps giving. What an amazing site!


Before I lost interest over the weekend, I was trying to see how long I could go mentioning Raven’s “fucking slimetwat” phrase in every comment I made. She eventually closed the thread I was posting in to further comments, the fucking slimetwat. (See what a useful phrase it is?)


Considering that feeb was handed an intelligence briefing titled “Bin Laden Determined to Attack in USA,” and ,i>did nothing about it, even if this illegal domestic spying came up with good intel, why would anybody think anything useful would be done with it? Chimpy had days and days of warning before Hurricane Katrina, and yet ,i>still managed to look surprised after it hit.”W” stands for “witless.”


RE: Slimetwat

Apparently Raven has pioneered the use of the word slimetwat on the Internets.


I studied Marxism in an ethics class I took. It resembled Christianity quite a bit.


Oh man, I just visited the comments on that doppelganger site. Who in god`s name is Seth, and is he even referring to the same president? Timmah420 has an iron constitution* to deal with all that.

*not our flimsy old paper one that doesn`t mean much


I kind of feel bad for Raven and company.

They get a nice echo chamber all up and running and then along come 3bulls and sadlyno to piss on their parade.


This is Seth’s website:

Yet another Bush Buccaneer.


So, here’s where you’re hiding Marq? Are you the one who sent the link to my song, Black Santa, to

If so, I first want to thank you for helping to make the song famous, and second, I wanted to let you know that they have the artist’s name wrong. It should be Dr. BLT & Michael C, but they have it listed as Black Santa. If you’re familiar with this site, perhaps you could let me know how to reach the folks who posted the song so that the correction can be made. BTW, if you’ve ever been offended by anything I may have said to you, I take it back. If I have my facts in order, you’ve helped to make Black Santa my most successful song ever.


Blt, since this is the third post where you erroneously “credit” me with that for some reason, you’ve managed to drive me to base rudeness. Fuck off.


Have you ever made an honest mistake, Marq? If you have, I hope you will be more forgiving of the next person that comes along who makes such a mistake.

I’ve had a very good day today, and I’ve been cursed at so many times now at this site, that good days no longer have to turn into bad days, just because of one person’s lack of consideration for me, an admittedly absent-minded, forgetful individual.


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