Today’s Dispatch from the Christmas Wars

The A.P. reports that demonstrators picketed a Sacramento Wal-Mart last week.

“But why?” you ask. “Is it because Wal-Mart pays people crappy wages and has a reputation as the worst union-busting company in America?”

Sadly, no. These people were protesting Wal-Mart because they’re saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in their advertising campaigns:


A group of religious protesters demonstrated outside a Wal-Mart superstore Saturday, hoping to turn away customers by calling attention to the retailer’s decision to use “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” in its seasonal advertising. […]

Controversy over the secularization of Christmas is nothing new, but this year religious groups are publicly taking on retailers who have decided to tone down the religious aspects of the holiday in their store decorations and promotional material.

In an online petition, the American Family Association recently gathered more than 500,000 signatures asking Target to include Christmas in its promotions. Stores such as Sears and Wal-Mart are facing boycotts.

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Amy Wyatt said the company has made no effort to remove Christmas from its holiday ads. She said a promotion set to run from mid-November to early January was simply misunderstood: its slogan is “home for the holidays.”

Y’know, I’m really amazed at the things today’s so-called “Christians” get outraged over. It doesn’t matter that Wal-Mart treats its employees like garbage (the lazy bastards should have worked harder and had their parents send them to business school, after all). But if they dare wish people “Happy Holidays,” the wingnut rube brigade will storm their castle with torches and pitchforks.


Comments: 22


These are the same people who don?t care that Bush illegally invaded another country, killing 30,000 people, but who get outraged when he sends out a ?Holiday Card?, (and the card actually had a verse from The Bible in it).

Their morals indicate they reside in Bizarro Land.

What?! How dare you wish me a happy holidays, you fucking cretin. And don?t you dare seasonally greet me, either, dickwad. I don?t want none of your holiday cheer. When you wish me a good day I want you to do it with the words I instruct you to say, damn it. Some people!

Something tells me if Jesus Christ could see how these arseholes are behaving he?d be disgusted.


religious protesters dressed as santa claus. the irony, it burns me.

“It is insulting that Wal-Mart has chosen to ignore the reason for the season,” Otterstad said.

and the reason for the season is santa claus, of course.

otterstad is the guy in the santa suit.


Since the Christmas shopping season is so important to our economy, it would be sweet irony if this boycott worked, sent the economy into a tailspin, and pushed Junior’s poll numbers even further down. Where else can Red State Christian wingnuts shop except for Wal-Mart, Sears, and Target? Nordstrom? Saks?



I posted about this the other day at 3B! Well OK, I posted a link and added a funny picture but that’s how it works right???!

“The group of 40 men – mostly in their mid-20s and dressed in ill-fitting Santa costumes – began their “Santarchy” shortly after 2pm. First stop was the Victoria St motorway overbridge where they smashed beer bottles and urinated.

At the Princes Wharf Viaduct, one managed to scale a mooring line on the cruise ship Pacific Sky before being ordered by the captain to get down. When he retreated he was collared by two port security guards and later arrested.

This sparked angry scenes among the other “Santas” who started throwing bottles at security guards. One was struck in the head with a flying bottle and another was punched in the face. Both were treated by ambulance staff.”


i love it. but according to, the “incident” was blown out of proportion and misreported. still hilarious, though.

“no force on earth can stop one hundred santas!”


A mate of mine is usually involved with NZ’s santarchy, though the organisers have been replaced by bigger and bigger pricks and he dropped out this year.

And thank God Christians are saving us from secular forces and reminding us what truly matters this Christmas. Mammon.



Maybe your buddy should start Santarchyarchy?!


Chimpy said “Happy Holidays” at the end of his press conference today…Evidence the War on Christmas has reached the heights of the Gummint?


I used to think stupidity and simple-mindedness were…well, simple, actually. This “War on Christmas” thing, however, is so byzantine and multi-dimensional, it’s almost a thing of beauty. I mean, the representatives of a religious tradition fundamentally opposed to idolatry, dressed in Santa outfits, protesting in front of the basest pagan temple of comsumerism, claiming that the idolaters are weakening the significance of the Messiah’s birth, completely unaware that they are doing the bidding of the idolaters themselves who (via their representatives at FoxNews) manufactured this artificial crisis in the first place?

…Astonishing. Simply astonishing.


And on the subject of idolatry, these are also generally the same people who demand use of the Pledge of Allegiance and also enroll their sons in the Cub/Boy Scouts, whose oath is rather similar in one specific part.
That part, of course, lowers God into the same catagory as nationalism, as well as in the former case involves pledging to a large, blue red and white object (or “idol”, if you will).
Does it fall into the theological confines of idolatry? Probably not, though the strictest interpreters of scripture (i.e. them) certainly could call it such. Even in a Jesusocracy, it’s the “Jesus” part that’s supposed to be the important part, whereas the “ocracy” seems to be their focus.


Mal/GG you guys still idolize me though right?


This is awfully damn long…sorry.
I ran across it last year, but it’s even more timely this year:

Merry Christmas, You Godless Jerk

I have a difficult time expressing how extraordinarily stupid I think this whole “Happy Holidays”/”Merry Christmas” thing that’s going on this year is, not in the least because, for those of you who slept through remedial etymology, “holiday” means “holy day.” Which is an awfully funny word to have representing secularism, if you ask me. People who complain that saying “Happy Holidays” somehow disenfranchises Christians are basically showing their profound ignorance of language, which is not exactly a reassuring thing when so many of these same folks also maintain that the Bible is literally true.

Here’s the deal. Wish me a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Either way, I’ll get what you mean, I’ll take it in the spirit in which it is given, and in either case, you’re likely to get the same response (i.e., “Thanks. You too.”). On the other hand, wish me a “Merry Christmas” with that defiant air that means that you are driving your Christ-sticky foot into the ground and digging in against the godless forces of “Happy Holidays,” and what you’re declaring is that you are, indeed, a first-class idjit. It also signals that you’re less interested in wishing me joy and glad tidings than in pimping the baby Jesus, in the guise of being nice. So not only are you a first class idjit, you’re also rude. If you’re going to wish me a Merry Christmas, try to mean it, for Christ’s sake.

How will I know which “Merry Christmas” you will offer to me? Well, of course, maybe I won’t. Being the sort of person I am, I’ll assume you mean well. It’s that “Golden Rule” thing you hear so much about. However, you will know which “Merry Christmas” you are offering, and, one imagines, so will the birthday boy in question. A thought to consider.

So, you ask, which do I use? Personally, I tend to go with “Merry Christmas,” because that’s the holiday I celebrate, and also, as previously mentioned, I don’t think you have to be Christian to recognize that Jesus’ birth is worth celebrating. Also, in rural Ohio, it’s a safe bet. However, for people I know who prefer not to be Merry Christmassed, “Happy Holidays” works fine, although sometimes I will get cheeky and say “have an enjoyable seasonal celebration of your preference!” which both celebrates and mocks the situation. But I only use that for special people. You know who you are.


Look at the other guy in that picture, pointing and laughing. The correct response.


War on Kwanzaa reaches Australia

PRIME Minister John Howard has made a passionate defence of religion at Christmas and urged shopping centres to restore nativity scenes.

He said he had contempt for arguments that Christianity should be downplayed in case it offended people of other faiths or non-believers. Mr Howard said it was not tolerant to “bland out” religious symbols of Christmas.

This is the same pinhead who couldn’t bring himself to describe thugs on Cronulla Beach, beating up anyone who looked a bit Middle Eastern, as racist.

And my favourite line from the Santarchy story as reported by the AP:

A police spokesman described it as “fairly average behaviour” from “an organised group of idiots”.


Well, I suppose that we can all be grateful that the “Merry Christmas” protesters are dressing up as Santa rather than the baby Jeebus. Grown men in diapers–:::brrrrr!:::


I had someone tell me to have a “blessed Christmas”. Thanks for the sentiment and all and I’ve never said “happy holidays” in my life, but I did for the first time. What I really wanted to say was, “Fuck you”.

Maybe I’m wrong and exhorting people to have a “blessed Christmas” is something she’s done her whole life and I’m just looking at it through the War on Christmas, but I don’t think so. I think it’s exactly in the same tradition that Jesus denounced the hypocrites who got in front of everyone and made religious displays not because they loved God but because they wanted other people to see them as pious.


Having been invited to perform at a former employer’s annual “Holiday Dinner,” and then having been told that I was forbidden to use the terms “Christmas,” or “Christ,” I know that Christmas and the message of Christmas is something that some in our culture are trying to diminish.

So I support, not a war, but a campaign to preserve and openly proclaim the reason for the season. Others should feel welcome to proclaim whatever holiday they may choose to celebrate as well.

However, I would not spend much time in department stores. The real place to display one’s Christmas spirit is in the ghetto. When we do something good for someone less fortunate than ourselves, we are truly preserving the message of Christmas in a way that will have enduring value. I tried to express this sentiment in a song I recorded with Oakland rap artist, Michael C., the same guy who joined me in Black Santa.

Here’s a free mp3 copy for anyone who may be interested (cut and paste the link below):

words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2005


The revolution has begun! We come for your gold, your myrrh, your cheap plastic reindeer!



Tools, sheep, pavlovian dogs. If they were in 1930’s Germany they would be protesting . . . they wouldn’t find much to protest.


BLT – I find it very hard to believe you were hired to play a holiday party and were told not to use the word Christmas. Well actually I have trouble believing you were hired at all.

And I really hate to be a downer, but black santa was one of the few songs of yours I was tempted to listen to, and I demand my 5 minutes back for that one.


Same old insults and cheap shots that I’ve come to expect from you, Timmah. You’re not a downer, though, because with every compliment or insult, I always consider the source, and vary my emotional response accordingly. If someone like you doesn’t like something I’ve created, I actually feel that I must have done something right and I feel rather good about it— almost giddy as a matter of fact.

Even though I don’t agree with everything GuinnessGuy had to say, at least he tried to contribute something intelligent to blogosphere. You have a lot to contribute too, Timmah, but the type of contribution you offer is more suited to a junior high school playground.


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