And Then There’s The Useless Kind
First it was Vidkun Quisling and Michael Potemkin in dire concert:
Erick Erickson, RedState:
Vichy Republicans
The quislings have formed a fire brigade to shoot at Cheney, Limbaugh, and others for burning down the quislings’ potemkin village.
And now we find who the ringleader is.
Scott Martin, Phoenix Conservative Examiner:
Andy Rooney being a Useful Idiot on Memorial Day, War and Peace
Uh, conservatives being stupid every day, Anna Karenina.
Bruce Thornton wrote:
Lenin called them “useful idiots,” those people living in liberal democracies who by giving moral and material support to a totalitarian ideology in effect were braiding the rope that would hang them.
…selves.
[zeerp] Hello, dum-dums.
Oh hi, Great Gazoogle. We were just…
Yes, well Lenin seems never to have said any such thing. Ta-ta!
Thanks, because it… Wait, he’s gone.
Why people who enjoyed freedom and prosperity worked passionately to destroy both is a fascinating question, one still with us today. Now the useful idiots can be found in the chorus of appeasement, reflexive anti-Americanism, and sentimental idealism trying to inhibit the necessary responses to another freedom-hating ideology, radical Islam.
Throughout Andy Rooney’s three decades on 60 Minutes, he has served as a useful idiot on behalf of nearly every enemy of freedom and anti-American idea that has come around the bend. Brilliantly, too. One minute he’s waxing romantic on the smell of old books recently found in the attic, and the next minute he’s making a seemingly reasonable statement about climate change.
Guh? The what, now?
[…] Andy Rooney’s vision of peace is a recipe for hell on Earth. It is a recipe for chains and slavery, and there is no virtue in either.
Scoring the extra point with aplomb, or rather with two or three plombs, the milk-cheeked Martin accuses Rooney, a World War II veteran, of knowing nothing about war. And does so on Memorial Day.
Brainy go kerplunksplat. More like this, please!
The quislings have formed a fire brigade to shoot at Cheney, Limbaugh, and others for burning down the quislings’ potemkin village.
JEE-ZUS. I see someone’s been homeschooled.
That’s it! If Andy Rooney is waxing poetic about the smell of old books, well….we have to storm the barricades of 530 W 57th Street NOW, DAMMIT!
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not only that, but sometimes I tune in to see The Amazing Race and thanks to some ridiculous sporting event that went long, I am exposed to Rooney’s addled ramblings on gifts people have sent him or potato chips that look like celebrities. Enemy of the state indeed.
Pere,
Personally, I think that if someone was to burn down my fake village and I was on the faux fire brigade, I’d want to spill some stunt ketchup in retaliation.
Andy Rooney’s vision of peace is a recipe for hell on Earth. It is a recipe for chains and slavery, and there is no virtue in either.
BTW, am I missing something, or what the fuck is Andy Rooney’s “vision of peace” and how the hell is a guy who makes comments on screw-top bottles and old postcards going to implement this Stalinist plan exactly?
Peace = hell and earth, chains and slavery. Taken straight from the ideology of the nuttier fundamentalist evangelical sects. That’s why anyone promising peace is the Antichrist, and when Jesus comes, he’ll come to lay some whoop-ass on you.
Added the little detail about Rooney being a WWII vet. Yowza.
BTW, am I missing something, or what the fuck is Andy Rooney’s “vision of peace”
Didja ever wonder whatever happened to “peace on earth, goodwill to men”?
Me too.
So I took my question to…
You guys are missing the point: He’s not Andy Rooney. He’s Andy-Christ!
It’s always so fucking noble and wonderful when other people die for my freedom. Shit, I hope they keep dying in droves, forever and ever amen.
Uh…
Why would you burn down a potemkin village?
Isn’t a potemkin village something created by the party faithful for visits by the party bosses?
Why would the party bosses even want to burn them down?
By the way, the money quote from Martin:
A more dangerous perspective would be difficult to contemplate. War is our least noble activity? The reality is that American wars have historically been America at its noblest.
Huh? Maybe World War II, and even then you have to ignore a body of evidence that suggests we were dragged in, kicking and screaming and only to protect our own interests.
Nearly every other war was fought for the basest of reasons: economics.
Rooney was a correspondent for Stars & Stripes. He flew on bombing raids over Germany, which means he got seriously shot at.
I declined to enlist so I could root out those treacherous Liberal veterans who are trying to undermine my bottomless desire for bloodshed.
Speaking of bottoms….
Over at Balloon Juice you can read Andy Rooney’s own words describing his view as a soldier encountering Nazi concentration camps in WWII.
What the fuck does some faggot prancing around Europe a few generations ago wearing funny olive drab clothes and firing popguns and having fireworks go off around him know about real war, which is actually fought every weekend among Confederate re-enactors throughout the American South, and in the pages of liberation sites such as the Gates of Vienna, which is all that stands between Western Civilization and teh Moors & Turks?
Clicked through and found this regarding the Examiner:
Examiners are credible, passionate, knowledgeable writers.
Um, I call bullshit on at least two of those.
Not only was Rooney a WW2 vet, but he was among the liberators of Buchenwald: http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=21735
My apologies. He was just a wartime corresponding embedded with the U.S. troops. He doesn’t count now.
Martin got really ticked off when Rooney said this, proving his liberal quislingness or whatever:
I guess it’s lucky for Rooney he didn’t phrase it this way:
Cuz then he’d clearly be some kind of islamopotemkinazi.
Not a civilian correspondent. A correspondent for Stars & Stripes, meaning an actual GI. Like Sergeant Bill Mauldin.
The fucking top-it-all sick joke about all this is that _exactly these same clowns_ would have been frothing at the mouth in hysteria to _keep us out of the European war_ if they had been around in 1940. The Great Gazoogle has a lot to say about “America First” and the kind of conservative teatards that made up its membership. For them to lecture about the nobility of our participation in WWII…gaaaah.
McCain’s people even toyed with using “America First” as their campaign tagline for fuck’s sake.
Speaking of conservative intellectualism.
Current Headline at Big Hollywood offered without comment:
Uncommon Knowledge W/Peter Robinson: The Breitbart Interview, Part 2 of 5
I guess it’s lucky for Rooney he didn’t phrase it this way:
Or this way: “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
Quote from that lousy coward George Patton.
“We will cease to be the ideological ancestors of Patrick Henry”.
Hey, Sadlynauts, Scott Martin done stole your time machine.
The smell of old books recently found in the attic is an enemy of freedom and an anti-American idea?
It is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country.
WOLVERINES!!!!!
Chains actually do have some virtue. Quite useful for pulling a car out of a ditch, for instance. If Martin would post the specifics of their recipe I’d whip some up.
“The quislings have formed a fire brigade to shoot at Cheney, Limbaugh, and others for burning down the quislings’ potemkin village.”
Heh, he uses elitist intellecshewall words like “quisling” and “potemkin” more or less correctly, but fucks the goat completely with “fire brigade”.
And Vichy Republican quislings’ potemkin village is a tossed word salad Smorgasbord, a remark rijsttafel gone horribly wrong, a kitchen-sink borscht buffet of badness.
Does he mean a circular fire brigade?
Old book smell is the Zyklon-B of liberal fascism.
It is kind of nice that the Republicans have now embraced the use of ‘Republican’ as a slur though. This is the best circular firing squad ever, you guys. I know, we’ve tried our best at times, but sniff, they just have outdone us.
Fucking insulting *Andy Rooney* for being an anti-American. The guy’s just the old babbling halfwit at the retirement home with a camera on him.
Andy Rooney? Really? Freaking out over Andy Rooney is a key to recovering your electoral success?
Unless they were written for the gut, and not the head, which is the seat of false loyalties.
Does he mean a circular fire brigade?
It is central to his point.
Right-wing Memorial Day: during which we are supposed to celebrate how many dead soldiers there are.
circular fire brigade
That’s a gay sex thing involving a bunch of guys wearing uniforms, right?
I guess it’s lucky for Rooney he didn’t phrase it this way:
Or this way: “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
Or this way: “No dumb babbister ever wub a wub by dubbing for his cubbety!”
Yes, well Lenin seems never to have said any such thing.
The Potemkin village thing is a myth too.
That’s a gay sex thing involving a bunch of guys wearing uniforms, right?
SSHHHH!! That was a secret.
The Potemkin village thing is a myth too.
Potemkin ships however, are not.
Awesome.
War is about winning and losing, and about bigger ideas like freedom and defeating evil that make death seem insignificant to most of us.
Why am I having a hard time believing that 1) this guy has ever been closer to an actual war than watching “Saving Private Ryan” and 2) he’s ever been in danger of losing his “insignificant” life?
Good one, tig. Howabout cliché cassoulet? Platitude platter? Bonfire of the inanities?
As for Potemkin villages, it was a canard (there’s those ducks again) told against him by the bloggers of the day that he had had fake villages made for Catherine’s perusal on a tour of the south. That Potemkin villages are a made-up construct is somehow apt for the context here. Eisenstein, however, existed.
War is about winning and losing, and about bigger ideas like freedom and defeating evil that make death seem insignificant to most of us.
As the last German trooper lay on the battlefield dying from an American (or Soviet) bullet, I wonder if his last thoughts were, “Please tell me my death will restore the Fatherland.”
My guess? “OHMYGOD! I’ve been shot!”
This guy Erickson is mixing metaphors with the best of them. Is he aiming to replace Friedman at the NYT?
Why am I having a hard time believing that 1) this guy has ever been closer to an actual war than watching “Saving Ryan’s Privates”
Fixed!
Why am I having a hard time believing that 1) this guy has ever been closer to an actual war than watching “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”
Fixed!
Double fizt!!!
Damn. Hoist on my own retard!
“Scott Martin is…a proud member of the Republican Attack Machine…”
Which branch of the armed forces is that? Chicken Hawks? Fighting 101st keyboarders?
Do wingnuts know any words of more than two syllables other than “appeasement”?
Do wingnuts know any words of more than two syllables other than “appeasement”?
Socialism.
Prolixiity potpourri. Munged metaphor melange. Verbosity venue.
“Conservatives being stupid every day, Anna Karenina” had me giggling like a small child.
Hmmmph. You may think Shaving Ryan’s Privates is quite the apogee of wit; but this merely reveals your ignorance of The Bare Wench Project and John Wayne Bobbitt, Uncut.
War is about winning and losing, and about bigger ideas like freedom and defeating evil that make death seem insignificant to most of us.
The man works in bullshit the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It is his true medium, a master.
Do wingnuts know any words of more than two syllables other than “appeasement”?
Yes, since they say “I-wanna-suck-your-dick-but-don’t-let-my-wife-or-my-fundie-church-find-out” really fast, and whispered, so it comes out as one word.
You may think Shaving Ryan’s Privates is quite the apogee of wit; but this merely reveals your ignorance of The Bare Wench Project and John Wayne Bobbitt, Uncut.
BAH!
28 Lays Later
OT: Obama picks “liberal judicial activist of the first order”, probable illegal alien, and known non-man for Supreme Court
Also, Das Butt
Romancing The Bone
I prefer Das Buttocks, the unabridged version.
http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=21735
War is about winning and losing, and about bigger ideas like freedom and defeating evil that make death seem insignificant to most of us.
Death is “insignificant” to these bozos when compared to things like “freedom and defeating evil”… but “the Constitution is not a suicide pact,” so we mustn’t defend its ideals (like freedom and not being evil) if we might get hurt. Have I got that right?
Colin Powell is no war hero. In fact he never once served in combat. He spent most of his time during the Vietnam war behind a desk. And when he actually was in Vietnam, he did his best to avoid combat.
The man is nothing but a hypocrite and a racist. He claims that the Republican Party needs to move more towards the center in order to remain politically electable. He has been bitching on and on for at least ten years about the need for the Party to nominate a “centrist” candidate.
And yet when the Republican Party nominated their most moderate Presidential candidate in the Party’s entire history (thanks to open primaries, not Republicans) he instead endorsed and voted for Obama. You see Colin Powell is not just a “centrist” rino like McCain. He is a Democrat. If he were a rino, then he would have voted for his fellow rino in arms John McCain.
Colin Powell is at best a liberal democrat, and at worst a black racist.
There needs to be some set boundries in the Republican Party. The Republican Party Platform is 100% Conservative. What must be done as I believe I’ve mentioned here before is that the Republican National Committee needs to strictly enforce the Party Platform. Any Republican Senator or Congressman who votes against the Party Platform should be denied RNC support and be forced to face a Conservative primary challeger who will recieve the RNC’s endorsement.
That would be the most effective way to ensure that the GOP remains a Conservative Party. All we need now is a Chairman with some testosterone.
I prefer Das Buttocks, the unabridged version.
Ah, the one with subtitties.
Yeah, what does Andy Rooney know about war and peace anyway? He only covered combat during WWII. WWII as we know was pre-9/11. See also, everything / 9/11 / changed.
We’re just lucky Reagan was president during WWII.
In Rear End-ence Day
I hate it when a recipe opens the dimensional doorways to the Elder Gods. Do people really want a recipe that does that?
The Long And Winding Load
We’re just lucky Reagan was president during WWII.
Don’t be silly. He wasn’t president, he just liberated the death camps. Without ever leaving Hollywood.
Exactly so, DS: other people’s deaths are insignificant when it comes to Martin et al.’s freedoms, and other people freedoms are insignificant when it comes to Martin et al.’s lives.
That Thornton guy who made the “useful idiots” blunder is apparently a Classics prof at Cal State Fresno. Lenin is too recent to be of scholarly interest to him, I reckon.
Thornton also wrote a book entitled Greek Ways, heh heh.
And in closing, On Golden Blonde
And in closing, On Golden Blonde
Glad I Ate Her
A Clockwork Orgy? Edward Penishands?
also, i learned something new today: fire brigades exist not to put out fires, but to shoot would-be arsonists. i have to admit i did not know this.
That’s a gay sex thing involving a bunch of guys wearing uniforms, right?
You’re thinking of the Air Force Academy.
also, Eat-A-Puss Rex, also.
other people’s deaths are insignificant when it comes to Martin et al.’s freedoms</i.
And there’s nothing more sacred than the freedom to drive a Hummer and discriminate against gays.
And Tit Anic, also.
When his house is on fire does he call a firing squad?
Oh thanks for for the “Vichy Republicans.” I’ll never be able to eat creme vichyssoise again. If you know what I mean and I’m sure you do.
Ayn Randy’s Atlas Sucked
Atlas Shagged
Little Shop of Whores was always my favorite. What, too heterosexual? Sorry, I’m not a many h-men like these right-wing heroes that keep us safe.
Oh thanks for for the “Vichy Republicans.” I’ll never be able to eat creme vichyssoise again
No no no! You’re supposed to emulate Renault at the end of Casablanca and throw a bottle of water in the trash!
Do people really want a recipe that does that?
Aren’t most of your Janusnode recipes for that purpose?
Beavis channels Rooney
Peace is not the absence of conflict. Peace is the absence of fear, or the presence of a meaningful faith that overrides any fear. Those who chose to go to war against evil and government oppression chose the route of peace.
Fucking wow.
The Audacity of Ho
Andy Rooney’s vision of peace is a recipe for hell on Earth.
I hate it when a recipe opens the dimensional doorways to the Elder Gods. Do people really want a recipe that does that?
Cthulu loves me, this I know;
Cause the High Priest tells me so.
He won’t eat me, no not yet,
Our Dark Lord all dank and wet.
Those who chose to go to war against evil and government oppression chose the route of peace.
war IS peace, you know.
“He-man.” FYWP! I corrected that but it didn’t take.
I can always find right-wingers who are unaware that George McGovern flew B-24s in the U.S. 5th Army Air Force. I would love to just show some of these pants-pissing morons footage of the Ploesti raid. They’d have to double up on the Depends, of course.
Really, though, thanks. It’s a helpful phrase when trolling.
So…Cal State Fresno has BOTH Bruce Thornton AND Victor Davis Hanson? Wow…they sure know how to recruit faculty.
ot, but i just read the miserable news that the california supreme court upheld prop 8.
on behalf of all straight, church attending californians who do not believe in discrimination, i am sorry.
and i feel so gross right now.
Those who chose to go to war against evil and government oppression chose the route of peace.
And there is no braver way to go to war than by getting others to enlist. Nothing works as well as the bravery of being out of range.
Full Beavis/Rooney
Plus, The Wizard of Ahhhhhs
Cal State Fresno?
Have you ever been to Fresno?
Barely legally blond. Also, I think closing down Cal State Fresno – or at least eliminating the Classics department – would go some way towards closing our budget hole here in CA.
ot, but i just read the miserable news that the california supreme court upheld prop 8.
on behalf of all straight, church attending californians who do not believe in discrimination, i am sorry.
Well, I’ve skimmed the opinion, and from what my non-lawyerly mind has gathered, there are two pieces of good news. First, existing marriages are left untouched (though to be honest, that was pretty much a no-brainer). Second, the Court seems to have construed Prop 8 pretty narrowly–as best I can tell, it applies to the legal use of the *term* marriage, but it doesn’t prohibit civil unions that are marriages in everything but name. While the name is important (and the Court acknowledged that), it’s not the only thing that’s important. I think this is at most a hollow victory for the anti-gay-marriage crowd. Given that Prop 8 actually amended the Constitution, I honestly didn’t expect the Court to do much more.
Also, I think closing down Cal State Fresno – or at least eliminating the Classics department – would go some way towards closing our budget hole here in CA.
I was talking to someone who knows a lot about the CA budget, and he said, somewhat hyperbolically, but still true – you could close down the entire Cal State System, the entire UC system, and the prisons, and that would get you about $16 billion in savings – you’d still not get to the $19 billion deficit.
so yeah, getting rid of the – what – 6 FTE’s in the Cal Fresno Classics Dept. might do something…..
so yeah, getting rid of the – what – 6 FTE’s in the Cal Fresno Classics Dept. might do something…..
Why is it wingnuts support their pundits in such disciplines, but ask them to fund, say, Greek history in the public school systems and it’s “OHMYGOD! How useless is learning that shit!”?
As to Prop 8, there is a good bit up at teh GOS about it.
A fun excerpt,
I vote for having them officially called “Maaaaawwwiiidges”, requiring it to be pronounced like Peter Cook in The Princess Bride. If having to say that repeatedly doesn’t make the whole State sick enough of this bullshit to repeal, I don’t know what would.
Yeah, it’s not great, but all in all it seems not to be as bad as what the Prop threatened to be.
g & actor212: Y’all know christian h. isn’t a wingnut, right? And he was making a joke about shutting down the department V.D. Hanson works in, right?
And he was making a joke about shutting down the department V.D. Hanson works in, right?
Yes, I got that. That was central to my point, in fact: why is it the right will listen to morons like this, but won’t plant the seeds of even more wingnuts in such a fertile department?
And he was making a joke about shutting down the department V.D. Hanson works in, right?
Shut it down? Isn’t having Hanson there punishment enough?
do i like quisling? i don’t know, i’ve never quizzled.
A Popsicle Now
The Cunt For Red Cocktober.
I win.
And he was making a joke about shutting down the department V.D. Hanson works in, right?
Central to my point, too; although I couldn’t be bothered to research it, since I have to take a nap now, but if someone has the facts, please email me.
Also, I am aware of all internet traditions. Too.
Oh sure, those quislings look cute, running around in little fire brigades, but you have no idea how big they get when they grow up into quisses.
Liberal blogs are all alike; every rightwing blog is stupid in its own way.
Admit it – all those adult film names are real ’cause you guys had to go look them up.
“What? WHAT? It’s RESEARCH! For… a project! Journalism stuff! Really.”
Pere, in fairness, I’ve seen most of them.
I mean, some guy told me about them.
The Bi-Curious Case of Benjamin Buttlick
Sperminator Salivation
O Whoreton
Hotel for Doggy Style
The Girlfriend Experience
Fact checkin “Lord Harry” Balls.
Colin Powell is no war hero. In fact he never once served in combat.
Except when he served in combat in Vietnam.
From Wikipedia:
Powell was a captain during the Vietnam War, serving as a South Vietnamese Army adviser from 1962 to 1963. While on patrol in a Viet Cong-held area, he was wounded by stepping on a punji stake.
That sounds like combat to me, Lord Harry Balls. Certainly more combat than Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Instapundit, the Boys at Powerline, Captain Ed, or 99.99% of the rest of the babbling wingnuts ever experienced.
Andy Rooney’s vision of peace is a recipe for hell on Earth.
So, Red State apparently feels the key to regaining Republican dominance is pissing on a guy mainly liked by old people? Seriously? Gonna call Andy Griffith a socialist next?
Seriously? Gonna call Andy Griffith a socialist next?
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATLOOOOOOOOOCK!
Wsn’t there a movie starring Santorum, what was it . . . oh, I remember! House of Man on Dog.
Seriously, I really hope the Republicans keep on this trend of not so much shooting themselves in the foot as blowing their skulls apart with sawed off 12 gauge shot guns. I’m sure this tactic will build their party up and restore them to power and glory.
I really do think Obama’s election has driven a large number of wingnuts right around the bend.
Well, I do know “Edward Penishands” is real.
Unfortunately.
*shudder*
Wow. ‘Rijsttafel’ is spelled with two ‘t’s. I learned something new today.
That sounds like combat to me, Lord Harry Balls.
Certainly, it’s closer to combat than Dick Cheney or George Bush got.
I’m guessing Lord Hairy is too young to recall that we had thousands of “advisers” serving in Vietnam under JFK because the Pentagon was hostile to any combat deployment. But those advisers fought, make no mistake.
Uncle Ned: Vietnam doesn’t count because we lost. In fact, Powell probably lost the war for us. The Vietcong knew that 45 years later, Powell would treacherously endorse a fellow Negro for president, and that gave them the courage to keep fighting.
I have no proof of this, but has Powell ever shown anyone the vault copy of his discharge papers?
Titles already pre-pornified:
Howard’s End
Of Human Bondage
It Came from Outer Space
Mother, Jugs, and Speed
Still waiting for RB to provide a recipe for chains and slavery.
Mother, Jugs, and Speed
I’ve actually seen better acting in some pornos than there is in that movie. When Raquel Welsh is the best actor in your cast, you know you have problems.
Don’r forget my famous sexual hygiene trilogy, all as educational as they are titillating, ana all based on great Hollywood hits of the past:
Three Groins in the Fountain
Irma la Douche
How Clean Was My Valley
Don’t. And.
Time for a fresh pair of contact lenses, I’d say.
I’m surprised …wait, no I’m not. Does no one recall Colin Powell’s attempted whitewashing of My Lai?
I’ll My Lai you, WP
based on great Hollywood hits of the past…
What, no love for Splendor In My Ass?
President Clinton’s Fresh Hispanic-Style Chains and Slavery
Ingredients:
6 pints speechless campus conservatives, salted
1 outmoded socialist-style economy, imitatively sauteed
1 cup liberal venom, coldheartedly swirled
5 portions mainstream media tongue
1 ounce dill
1 pound Dijon mustard
Pick over the ingredients and discard excess lard. Separate campus conservatives nose from brain. Inflate brain. Mix the socialist-style economy with the liberal venom over high heat in a jar. Stuff the resulting potion into the campus conservatives. Crush the media tongue, dill, and the Dijon mustard blithely. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Leave raw. Serves 2 besotted enemies with x-rated stomachs.
#
Smut Clyde said,
May 26, 2009 at 23:28 (kill)
Still waiting for RB to provide a recipe for chains and slavery.
Didn’t Ross Douthat just write that column?
Bubba’s Recipe Generator! Now faster than your garden-variety Zombee!
Righteous, indeed.
Contanes branes.
Contanes branes.
Of course. Dimensional doorways, remember?
Zombie Comic
Thornton also wrote a book entitled Greek Ways, heh heh.
And one called Eros: The Myth of Greek Sexuality too!
The review Kirkus gave it is awesome:
Ouch!
Not to be forgotten: Andy Rooney is of the opinion that the entire GI Bill was bullshit, that people should fight for their country, period, no extra reward required or given. (No, I don’t know if he availed hisse’f of it after his tour of duty.) You’d think these fucking goobers would be in favor of that, all rugged individual pulling self up by bootstraps, yada yada.
We must thank Sam Schulman for giving us the true, kinship-based explanation of marriage, and now whichever of these mighty warriors has defined Peace as War. What will they re-define next? Inquiring minds shudder.
Leave us not forget Bareback In The Park
Hey!! I’m back, and this time I score one with teh ladies!
I usually would rather burn my eyeballs with bleach before watching Andy do his bit on 60 Minutes, but I caught him this past memorial weekend, and it was really touching.
Fuck these assholes 1,000 times to hell.
Colin Powell isn’t half the man Dick Cheney is. He was an affirmative action general and nothing more. During the Persian Gulf War it was Dick Cheney and Norman Shwartzkof who did the most to win the war with their quite frankly, brilliant tactical strategies.
All Colon Bowel ever did was show his pretty black face to the camera, in the background no less, while Cheney did most of the public relations work. It was Colin Powell who was responsible for making the War in Iraq necessary. Instead of pushing on towards Baghdad to finish the job as Secretary of Defense Cheney and General Shwartzkof advised, Colin Powell pleaded with President Bush to, in his own words “can we stop this unnecessary killing now”.
General Shwartzkof even mentioned in his book that Colin Powell was “a brilliant political mind, but he lacked the stomach for war.” The only reason he was ever promoted to General was because of affirmative action, which is the military’s version of political correctness.
Long story short, if Bush I had listened to Cheney and Shwartzkop instead of Colin Powell, the Second Iraq War would have been unnecessary as Hussien would’ve been removed from power in 1991.
Jefferson said of Patrick Henry (upon getting no response to something he sent Henry for critique) something like “He was the laziest man for reading I ever did encounter.” In that sense, the blogging right wingers will always be Henry’s truest intellectual heirs.
Also, I always just thought of Rooney as a vaguely homophobic old crank who would probably appeal to Wal Mart shoppers and Obama- birth -certificate- rumor- email- forward- senders. Weird.
Perhaps aloysis (who can’t even spell his own fucking name correctly) is making those PoS’s under advice from his therapist. I sure *hope* he’s seeing someone about his hating on women thing.
There’s actually another reason. But you were close.
FYWP with a big bag of dicks!
Schizoid Butt Kin Pop
Who can tell me the significance of these words?
Clue: its got nothing to do with crazy Friday nights in West Virginia.
Who can tell me the significance of these words?
I would venture to say the significance is that gazoogle has no results for “Schizoid Butt Kin Pop” (with “s).
rusty, the beavis/rooney thing was always one of my favorites little jokes.
Vichy Republican quislings’ potemkin village
Reader, I hurled.
Schizoid Butt Kin Pop — Schizoid Butt Kin Pop — Schizoid Butt Kin Pop
= Stoopid Punk Bitchiz
Happy Tuesday, bitchiz!
Wetness for the Prosecution
Ordinary Peepholes
Why does some troll keep coming on this blog whining about his fascination with punk rock women?
@El Dic
Shut up, Dic!
Hey Cid:
Why don’t you suck this jelly fart out of my ass?
Hey Fool—bite me.
If anyone cares to troll Fool, have fun.
Lord of the Flies
Hey Guru:
After Cid gets his fill, why don’t you suck this other jelly fart out of my ass?
The Bi-Curious Case of Benjamin Buttlick
A friend of mine used something similar to this (The Bi-Curious Case of Benjamin Butthole) as part of a blog posting a few months ago.
Some serious issues going on in the attention monger’s skull.
I’m seriously issuing some jelly fart into your skull, El Dic
The Bi-Curious Case of Benjamin Buttlick
This wouldn’t be a documentary about Pwafda, would it?
El Dic, you look like you’ve been drinking chocolate milk…
One minute he’s waxing romantic on the smell of old books recently found in the attic
I love the smell of old books in the morning.
Smells like… SCHOLARSHIP!
Twoofie, The Hole Twoofie, and Nut-in-But the Twoofie starring Aida Baggadix
Heh.
Tucker Carlson is launching a wingnut blog that he describes as the wingnut version of the Huffington Post, and said that there just weren’t enough right-leaning blogs out there getting the facts out.
Shhhhh. No one tell him that the wingnuts already have a Huffington Post:
Big Hollywood Butthurt.
How soon we forget our Pajamas.
Wait, which is the dumb ugly one?
From the Fucker Carlson link:
The United Nations’ response to the North Korean nuclear test was predictably week, Michelle Malkin asserts
Boy, I hope the editorial work is up to the high standards we’ve come to expect from right-wing blogs, case in point.
Carlson said that the site’s reporters would share in the profits based on how much traffic is drawn in by their work.
*snicker*
A recipe for hell on Earth.
Tucker Carlson in his natural habitat, lest we forget.
Can’t wait for his new, “getting the facts out” blog.
Gaagghh, “reporters?” This will be good. Maybe Ted Nugent, Ron Paul & the guy who owns the hoor-house (“What a libertarian entrepreneur!!”) in Nevada will get their own blogs.
How soon we forget our Pajamas.
Well, Pajamas never had the star-fucking quotient that Big Hollywood Butthurt has. And you can’t really compete with HuffPo unless you do some major star-fucking.
And you can’t really compete with HuffPo unless you do some major star-fucking
Surely Tucker (an appropriate name for a big, sloppy dog) can get the guy who played Roscoe P. Coltrane, if he’s alive, to write for his “celebrity” blog.
Okay, let’s grant that it was supposed to read “weak”. Just out of curiosity, what exactly would a strong, virile, thrilling response — by the UN or anyone else — have been to North Korea testing its own nuclear weapon and launching its own rockets upon no one?
Well, El Dic, I imagine it would go like this:
Moon: Your nukes are pussy nukes, designed to help you compensate for your inferiority complex
Kim: You running dog capitalist, I will bury you!!
Moon. Nope. You are my bitch. In fact you are my punk bitch. That’s right. You’re a st00pid punk bitch, bitch! Now suck this jelly fart out of my ass, boy.
Ok, Fool’s crossed the line into obsessive harassment. I say the vowelhammer comes down on him.
issues somone haz dem
Fuck you, Hans Brix!
Fuck you, Hans Brix!!
FYWP, you bitch.
You want to look at my nuclear weapons? Fuck you, Hans Brix!!!
Did some fanboy of punk rock girls just fart in here while having a seizure? Sure smells that way.
issues somone haz dem
It’s the consistency that amazes me. It’s almost as if Fool/GDB were a “Homeric” poet, adhering to the framework of an epic while basically extemporizing, using epithets and poetic kennings.
“jelly fart” is his equivalent of “winedark sea”
“st00pit punk bitches” is his equivalent of “breaker of horses”
Having said that, his poetry is awful, so I will erect a níðstöng to show my contempt of it.
We’re barrelin’ into LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL territory!
I dunno – I think his “poetry” takes more the form of a dramatic dithyramb. I mean, he’s always waving his dick around, though to be sure, it is much, much, much, much smaller than the dicks they carried around in the dithyramb.
I always thought The Odyessy would be much more entertaining if Telemachus crashed his ship on the rocks around Ithaca. It would have saved us all a lot of tedium.
Dickless dithyramb.
Now, Till, if Telemachus’ ship had wrecked, this spoof would not have been penned.
Is Troofus’s real name “Thyrsos?”
“Thyrsos”. FYWP!
Thyrsos. FYWP!
“That sounds like combat to me, Lord Harry Balls. Certainly more combat than Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Instapundit, the Boys at Powerline, Captain Ed, or 99.99% of the rest of the babbling wingnuts ever experienced.”
And Ronald Reagan. He went home to his wife in Hollywood every night of WWII.
And oh, Lord Harry, Schwartzkopf’s a democrat, too.
And oh, Lord Harry, Schwartzkopf’s a democrat, too.
Well, Schwartzkopf is German for “black head”, and Malcolm X had a black head, so connect the dots, libs!!!
You’re ALL my punk bitchiz now!
In late with A Sale of Two Titties.
Oh The Fool is awesome!
Oh The Fool is great!
He’s the one that
You love to hate!
El Cid comes around
a punk from the gutter
needs sumthin to go
with his peanut butter
The Fool hands him a jar
Say, this is kinda smelly!
Fool says be cool, Cid
Its just a jar of jelly
Could be diamonds
Could be gold
Cid eats a stinky spoonful
if the truth be told
But Cid can’t stop
his curiosity
can’t get enuf of that shit
with the high viscosity
He spreads it on his sandwich
He spreads it on real thick
He wonders why his neighbors
All think he’s such a dick
He’s munchin’ down that sandwich
all the corn and every nut
never once did Cid suspect
the jelly came from The Fool’s butt
Oh The Fool is awesome!
Oh The Fool is great!
He’s the one that
You love to hate!
LLLLLLLLLLL
Gateway Pud & his Keybored Kommandos spend Memorial Day slamming on a WW2 vet … Tucker Carlson starts off his very own blog (I’m thinking a blogospheric “HALF-HOUR NEWS-HOUR” but without a laff-track or Ann Coulter cameos) … & the troll is just desperate to show everyone the way hella kewl track-marks he’s got from banging paint-chips & drywall-dust dissolved in Mountain Dew.
Idiots aren’t useless – they’re just a tad slow in finding their natural niche as compost. Eventually, one way or another, they’ll have to become useful.
Wait, his then-wife or his next wife?
Thank you, General Deadly Buttsucker, you are handsome and tough. Everyone likes you.
You’re welcome haha. Its nice to be appreciated.
Colin Powell isn’t half the man Dick Cheney is.
Its true. He’s like five times the man that Dick Cheney wishes he was when he plays with his George W Bush Codpiece Doll.
What was the part about Quizno’s? I like Quizno’s, what’s wrong with them.
Oh, wait, Quislings. Nevermind.
If jelly is coming out of your ass you should see a doctor.