The Unbearable Hardness of Being Wingnut
Huston
One of the occupational hazards of wingnuttery, particularly prolific wingnuttery — where thousands of posts are each cross-posted by the wingnut at each of seventy-eight thousand or so wingnut sites — is, well, piddling on your own feet. Poor Warner Todd Huston, then, with no job and nothing to do but spend all day grinding out post after post, making sure that each finds a happy home on Red State, Renew America, Stop the ACLU, NewsBlusters, Publius Forum, American Thinker, Wingnuttery Today, ConservaBlog, FagsAreSoGay.com, Stop Nancy Botoxsi Now, the Bite Me Obama blog, and so forth. So it’s not too surprising that Warner Todd, who isn’t the fastest bowling ball in the alley in the first place, might take one position one day and then a few days later completely forgot what he said and take exactly the opposite position.
To wit: today we have Warner Todd whooping it up at Red State (and 45 or so other places), pulling his pud in excitement over the decision of Liberty University to ban the college’s Democratic Party club. The idea of banning the opposition apparently gets him harder than a bottle of Viagra and a Lane Bryant catalog. And before the libtards go all Godwin on him, Warner Todd puts on his law professor cap and gown and takes the libs to school:
But it isn’t any violation of free speech, it isn’t censorship, nor is it an un-American decision.
… [P]eople misunderstand what “censorship” is under the American system. …The simple fact is, though, only government can engage in “censorship.” Only government has the power to oppress speech and enforce that oppression. Liberty University can ban the Democratic Party from its campus all day long and not truly affect the free speech of its students. …
It should be beyond question that, as a private organization, Liberty University has the right to create its own standards within the law and stand by them. What is a more American ideal than having the right to live by your own principles?
Even I have to admire the deftness with which Warner Todd executes the flying-wingnut double reverse fake flea flicker: Banning the Democrats is not a violation of the free speech of the students but is instead simply the University’s exercise of its own free speech rights. Bravo, Warner. Well played. This is even better than the tried-and-true wingnut chestnut that Blacks are the only real racists.
So, now let’s hop into the Sadly, No! time machine and set the flux capacitor for March 20, 2009. Yes, I can hear you complaining that this is such a short ride, hardly worth the effort of time travel, but trust me, it’s worth it.
And here we are. And what’s the title of Warner Todd’s post that we see?
I bet you can see where this is going:
Our institutes of “higher” learning … are stridently for freedom of speech and stand 100% behind the concept of open political debate. Well, unless you’re a Christian, that is. Christians, you see, are the only group that our fetid colleges and universities have agreed to discriminate against.
Last week, another example of that well known “tolerance” our schools are so concerned with promulgating was seen in Pomona College in Claremont, California. There two Christian, pro-life students were banned from the Pamona campus. Their crime? Video taping a question-and-answer session with a Planned Parenthood representative invited to speak there.
Private university banning Democrats: no problem-o, the more the merrier, and so forth and such as; private university banning pro-lifers: a scandal of unspeakable dimension. Self-pwnage, Warner Todd, you’re soaking in it.
UPDATE: No-Visible-Means from the comments points out that the Pomona “students” that Warner Todd says were banned weren’t even students at Pomona. So, in Warner’s world, non-student Christians have free speech rights at campuses they do not attend but Democratic students have no rights at a campus that they actually attend. Warner isn’t just soaking in pwnage; he’s waterboarding himself with it.
I applaud the ongoing toilet theme for this week’s posts. This is a masterful example.
But you fail to appreciate my logic. When we ban the Democrat Socialist Party from campus, we do so for the sake of freedom. But when you ban us from campus after we harass your speakers, you are infringing on our freedom to harass you. What’s so hard to understand about this?
ABOVE (left to right): Flaming Outhouse, Warner Todd
Huston
Thank god for the caption; it’d be so hard to tell which was which otherwise.
All I want to know is:
Who the *fuck* are these Democrats attending Liberty University?
Goo-goo-ga-joob, my man, goo-goo-ga-joob.
Who the *fuck* are these Democrats attending Liberty University?
Kids trying to stay sane in spite of being cursed with insane parents?
Someone appears to be cranky about losing his BUKKIT.
Who the *fuck* are these Democrats attending Liberty University?
Part of the 6% of “Democrats” who approved of George Bush? This may be a case of labels meaning next to nothing, sort of like I’m a Baptist.
Having graduated university only a couple years ago, my recollection is that you could get in real trouble for (audio) taping a lecture without permission. Even if it was only for your personal use. Copyright is an increasingly complex issue, and everyone’s trying to be very careful.
But in wingnut fantasy land, a probably-inappropriate kneejerk response that was quickly retracted = teh persecution. Of Christians. And white people. Reverse discrimination mumble blart blorp.
But in wingnut fantasy land, a probably-inappropriate kneejerk response that was quickly retracted = teh persecution.
If you you want to get all facty, students getting popped for an explicit violation of the school’s rules (unauthorized taping) isn’t really comparable to what Freenance U did– which was to ban the College Democrats because of the political platform of the national Democratic Party.
I know, yet another right-wing cobag who can’t tell his hole from an ass on the ground. Quelle fucking surprise.
Are you sure you’ve got the caption right?
That’s why it’s called Liberty University. If you’re a lib, *and your name
is Berty,* it’s your university. Are the democrats on campus named Berty? Clearly not. Oh, they are? Really. And would it be too much to ask them to produce the vault copy of their birth certificates? Those are not available? Then it’s out of Warner Todd’s damp hands.
Pay no attention to that Writing as The Count business. WordPress is being disingenuous again.
Intellectual property nothing. That taping was meant to “shame” the participants, to accuse them of being baby-killers, future baby-killers, or bay-killer sympathizers. The taping was, in that sense disruptive. It made it difficult for those at the meeting to conduct their meeting.
Banning the Democrats, a national political party with a majority control of government, because you don’t like what they say is a different kettle of fish.
And at the heart of the argument: yes, there’s no “censorship” in the legal sense. True, but worthless. It’s easy to construct scenarios where peons are technically entitled to legal protections, but realistically held back from them by non-government organizations. Mill towns spring to mind.
Although, in the mill town case, I’d argue that the company is effectively the government, no matter what legal slight of hand is employed. Connecting to college, the college administration is suspiciously like a government, too, especially for students who live on campus.
Are you sure you’ve got the caption right?
I’ve seen Mr. Huston in person, and I can confirm that there is indeed a typo in the caption.
I was the token liberal at a fundie christian college for two years. No, I shouldn’t have gone there, but I was raised by those people so it was at least familiar. Besides, I thought I still had a chance of keeping my family.
Before the war I put up signs all over campus for a “peace committee” with appropriate bible verses and dove iconography. By the end of the day they had all been torn down. That was a lonely day. On the bright side, I’ve had many good conversations with other ex-fundies who have since told me that they saw the signs and liked them.
It may be self-pwnage to you, libs, but you don’t attain the status of adept in conservative circles without a clear record of intellectually dishonesty. Manufactured outrage based on glaring hypocrisy in the face of obvious facts signalling a conspicuous disregard for shame or personal honor is the highest level of sacrifice in wingnut world.
Mr. Huston, please come up to the stage.
Who the *fuck* are these Democrats attending Liberty University?
I highly recommend The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University, by Kevin Roose. It’s a thoughtful and fascinating inside look at Liberty written by an undercover outsider. Exposes much weirdness but also dispels some stereotypes.
The basic upshot is that most Liberty students are regular people who are evangelical in their beliefs, but are as complex and multi-dimensional as anyone else. Hence, not entirely surprising that there might be some Democrats there. Great book, very hard to put down.
When writing of middle-aged male wingnuts, should the title even suggest the word “hard”? I mean, without an explicit mention of tying shoelaces or something.
This is even better than the tried-and-true wingnut chestnut that Blacks are the only real racists.
============================================
My preferred version of this goes, “If you’re so tolerant, how come you won’t tolerate our intolerance!??”
My preferred version of this goes, “If you’re so tolerant, how come you won’t tolerate our intolerance!??”
This version occurred only inside the last 20 years, as I recall. It represents the abandonment of any shred of intellectual honesty in favor of complete sophism. “Win” every debate, but have no ideas or principles.
But I guess they do have sammiches. I want one of those right now.
I put this story to my nosey and it didn’t smell to rosy. Time to consult with Mr. Page and Mr. Brin. Ah, thanks gentlemen.
“two Christian pro-life students activists were banned from the Pamona campus”
That’s better.
Let’s pretend that “students” is struck-through and call it a day.
Underlining your point, the tags on the second post: March 20, 2009 | Filed Under 1st Amendment, Abortion, Censorship, Democrats/Leftists, Education, Free Speech, Government, Corruption, Liberals, Socialism, Society/Culture, State Government, The Law, Warner Todd Huston |
Tee hee!
A nom, a plan, anal — Pamona
Gotta hand it to Warner Todd- dude’s risen from Renew America to NewsBusters to Red State/American Racist despite being a poor man’s Jonah, both in looks and debatin’ skillz. Here’s a hint, man, at least Jonah knows to go to bed/have a cold/walk his dog/be tired whenever he’s roundly getting his ass kicked; you just dig deeper and deeper.
When I read Warner’s post a few hours ago, I was really hoping Sadlyno would pick it up.
I’m impressed with how fast you did it.
Also, I was bored.
Hey, I was bored.
When he says “people,” does he mean Sarah Palin?
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I’m going on record here as objecting to your drive-by on Lane Bryant. Isn’t there enough to attack here without turning the hose on chubby women, who, by the way, can be very sexy?
One other thing worth pointing out is that at the point the guys at Pomona were secretly (I assume) videotaping this person from Planned Parenthood there is a completely independent reason for banning them from campus that has nothing to do with their religious beliefs.
Hey now.
Okay, I had my sandwich. Even with a full belly, I can’t come close to the thought-process here. Did Warner write about the great Miss California flapdoodle? You might be able to heap that one on the pile.
When I read Warner’s post a few hours ago
The simple fact is, though, only non-US governments can engage in “torture.”
Getting Xians to shut the hell up is a really good idea, though.
Too bad I do, in fact, believe in free speech. It would be so much more convenient not to in this situation. Damn my principles.
It’s pretty frightening to think about the fact that there’s a barrel that Jonah’s not even close to being at the bottom of.
The three types of people that insist on using both their first and middle names are rednecks (Billy Bob Thornton), serial killers (John Wayne Gacy), and right-wing pundits (Warner Todd Huston). But I repeat myself.
I can has bukkit?
You missed the exculpatory point. The Pomona schmoes were anti-abortion. Any lie, in service of anti-abortion, is permitted and okay. Preventing anti-abortionists from recording in violation of the rules, bad. Bouncing student democratic party (the party of pro-abortions) from campus, good. These morons have completed a moral construct that has only one relevant precept.
>>>objecting to your drive-by on Lane Bryant.
I don’t believe anything was intended against plus-size women, more an observation that male wingnuts are without exception cauldrons of Oedipal issues and hence are inordinately fond of the zaftig.
Damn you liberals and your consistency fetish!
You say “hypocrisy” like it’s a bad thing.
Works great for us!
kth, we’re talking about a cohort which moons over Ann Coulter.
That’s no moon…
Sort of, Djur. They don’t, I think, get _sexually_ excited about Ann. That would be really really icky. Their Ann-mooning is like their Ayn-mooning.
Oh, Doc…*sigh* This train left the station a couple of quadrillion years ago and one or two 2000 comment flamewar threads. Suffice it to say that lots of liberals still love hating on teh fat.
The three types of people that insist on using both their first and middle names are rednecks (Billy Bob Thornton), serial killers (John Wayne Gacy), and right-wing pundits (Warner Todd Huston). But I repeat myself.
Wait, Billy Bob is a serial killer?
Sort of, Djur. They don’t, I think, get _sexually_ excited about Ann. That would be really really icky. Their Ann-mooning is like their Ayn-mooning.
While I don’t like to think about it, I do think sex appeal was a big part of Coulterism. Whether or not it is part of the randroid programming, I’m unqualified to say.
Nice use of “fetid”.
Wait, Billy Bob is a serial killer?
Billy Bob doesn’t wish to talk about it.
(he’s a “musician” now)
ckc, would you say that to Tom Petty?
…was he a serial killer?
Michael G. beat me to it: what did Mr. Droopy-Pants (Jonah) Lookalike write during the Carrie P. free speech speeches? Huh? Con hypocrisy may be rampant, but usually it’s not this glaring.
Intellectual property nothing. That taping was meant to “shame” the participants, to accuse them of being baby-killers, future baby-killers, or bay-killer sympathizers. The taping was, in that sense disruptive. It made it difficult for those at the meeting to conduct their meeting.
Was it really to “shame” them, or was it to intimidate them? The fact that attacks on family planning clinic staff are distressingly common sheds a more sinister light on this videotaping.
I don’t believe anything was intended against plus-size women, more an observation that male wingnuts are without exception cauldrons of Oedipal issues and hence are inordinately fond of the zaftig.
I don’t think they like zaftig women (hell, they don’t like women, period!). They are the sort to think that thin women with huge breasts (paging Carrie Prejean!) are the ideal, even though they tend not to exist in nature.
Are all liberal loons this stupid, or are you just playing dumb?
Liberty University is a PRIVATE organization, as a PRIVATE organization they are free to ban pro-abort groups like the college democrats.
They’re also free to wear face-mullets & stand around on one leg, sporting a propeller beanie & spinning it furiously, while waving at traffic, too.
Which one makes dear old L. U. look better?
(And just like B. J. University, they can ban interracial dancing [or just dancing, even, it’s sinful, you know] or dating or whatever.)
Hey look! I got around the ban by using some French accent thingie! Does that make me a cheese-eating-surrender-monkey enabler?
Fucking god. Leaving the -ic off Democratic doesn’t sound stupid enough, now the fucking retarded smegma-slurping douchnozzles like Troofy leave the -ion off abortion?! How hard a vacuum can a human skull retain without imploding?
That wasn’t me! That was someone else! Go away! Stop making fun of me!
Troll not reed post agin.
Who did that? It was that Actor guy, wasn’t it? Stop it!
You libs can mock me all you want, but I’ll never stop masturbating! I mean, speaking the truth.
That wasn’t me either! I don’t masturbate, because that’s evil. Anyway, you can’t prove it!
And you libs should stop making fun of Warner Todd Huston. He’s a great thinker and very good looking. But that doesn’t mean I want to have gay sex with him, because I’m not gay.
You libs mock me because you know I’m right. And because I have very small genitals.
Are there any right wing screamers who aren’t completely fucking hideous? I know, as a Liberal Fascist, that looksism isn’t Obammunistically correct, but…Jeebus K. Riste! And they all have the same fucking George Lucas beard to. What’s up with that?
How does it happen that the retards drive public discourse? Honestly, idiots like this got invited to the White House (that Bush par-tay for all the neocon mouthpieces fapping happily), and yet any slight hint of Teh Public Good gets howled down as socialist.
Privatisation of public utilities? Great idea, guaranteed lower prices through competition and the magical free market and sparkly ponies. Never mind the ferkin’ decades of evidence to show that exactly the opposite happens. Deregulation? Sooper, see above.
Public health care? Eeeeevil! Environmental regulations to stop industries pouring cyanide into the water supply? Gubmint strong-arming the free market! Maybe taxing those who’ve gotten rich using all the benefits of public infrastructure? How wicked!
But at least Warner Todd Bukkit is honest: he’s not hypocritical, he’s telling it like it is. If you’s right wing, youse can do no wrong. If you’s left wing, you’s an eebul vicious sociofemistislamonazi, regardless of what you do.
I imagine he’d be happy in a world where everyone had to wear a badge declaring their political affiliation – that way, he and his ilk would find it so much easier to make their snap judgements.
By the way, I must say I love the troll-spoofing. There’s no greater aid to regurgitation than a Pravda infestation, but the multitudinous piss-taking posts are worth their weight in gold (or an acceptably stable currency, since we’re all off the gold standard).
Carry on, chaps.
Carry on, chaps.
I was worried about that instruction until I remembered where Alison lives. But not before I formed a hideous mental picture involving chaps and WTH.
AIYEEE!
There’s no greater aid to regurgitation than a Pravda infestation
It’s pronounced “Pwafda”, in his case.
I imagine he’d be happy in a world where everyone had to wear a badge declaring their political affiliation
Like, oh say, just off the top of my head, a yellow star or something.
You can’t ban me! There’s a whole ‘nuther library just down the road!
fappityfapfapfap
Almost ready.
right wing screamers who aren’t completely fucking hideous?
Not really. I s’pose VodkaPundit (I drank some wodka & womited.) isn’t as grotesque as WTH, but VP’s still incredibly creepy. There’s always Marie JonBenet, but …
Let’s face it, a lot of the bitter, angry, “It’s not fair!!” comes from not being part of the popular crowd in the formative yrs. (Yes, that means their parents hated them too.) & (unlike most of us here, I assume) wanting desperately to be part of the in crowd. (Sadlynaghuts knew better even then.)
Don’t forget me.
Don’t confuse us.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with …)
Liberty University is a PRIVATE organization
Okay, cool, so you won’t squawk when we revoke Fundie U’s tax exempt status?
(unlike most of us here, I assume) wanting desperately to be part of the in crowd.
I didn’t ever want to be part of the in crowd, or maybe it was just that I realized it was not going to happen and wrote it off long enough back that I’ve forgotten it. That let me make friends with the other geeks and be relatively happy.
In short, I have a lot of risk factors for wingnuttery / Libertarianism but somehow managed to avoid it; I bet the early letting go of resentment about not being cool was part of it.
That beard on Mr. Huston really is very manly.
fappityfapfapfap
Go drink a bottle of bleach and puke it up, then shove it up your ass, spoofer. Asshat moron.
I notice you failed to refute any of my points, instead you just took a few cheap shots at a typo.
I don’t believe in tax exemptions. An income tax, if we must have one at all, should be low, flat, and exemption free.
Sorry, Pere Ubu – pwafda. Heh heh heh, sounds much more condescending already.
And PeeJ, sorry to do that to you, but if I’d meant that I’d have said something like “Carry on wearing chaps”.
Let me offer you some alcohol to clear the image from your brain. I’m about to wend my way towards a rather brave shiraz that’s sitting coyly in my lounge room.
Mmmmm, bottle, ass…
fappityfapfapfap
You know what this thread needs?
Parrots.
It was you spoofing, me, wasn’t it Jennifer, you stinking shaggy worthless cunt.
McClatchy notes the spreading of the shit moats:
I love it. If they wanted to, the Republicans could return to their historic strengths as being the more pro-business / lower taxes / fewer public services party of the Northeast and Midwest, but instead they’re doubling down on being the True Republican Party of the Dixie Confederacy and raising money to put up billboards blarting out “WHER IZ DA BURF CERTIFAT?”
It was you spoofing, me, wasn’t it Jennifer, you stinking shaggy worthless cunt.
I think the parrot best summarizes my opinion in regard to you.
Mmmmm, bottle, ass, taxes…
fappityfapfapfapfappityfapfapfap
That photograph. It must be from the US remake of Time of the Wolf.
Do I win a prize?
legislation that could change the complexion […] of the heartland of this country
Unexpected outburst of honesty there.
Sometimes, one word speaks volumes.
I notice you failed to refute any of my points
Did you have points?
But this is central to my point. Or not to have a point. How true that is.
Even though he’s not a parrot, I think this cockatoo does a really good job of illustrating how we all feel about ongoing wingnut FAIL and the sweet, sweet taste of wingnut tears.
What about owls?
Not for expressing distaste for whingey. Just for being a weird looking owl.
hey, truth, don’t call my friend Jennifer a cunt or I’ll come over to your mom’s basement and show you your ears.
For added ironic goodness, this gibberish appears c/o Teh Interwebz – the least “private” space in the known universe, & a place where censorship reigns supreme. There’s even a plethora of self-censorship, futile though it may be (things like The Wayback Machine & screencaps mean that the term “Delete” is now a mere euphemism).
Sure, if you’re feeling trollish you can post a link to “2 Girls, One Cup” on a Martha Stewart forum – but it’s as doomed as the passenger pigeon. Mods are gods within their domains, & many take great delight in the smiting of heretics with the sweet sweet Banhammer – it’s always open-season on trolls … isn’t that right, Twoofykins?
Drink up!
Did you have points?
Yes, yes he does. Look on TOP of his head.
I notice you failed to refute my tiny private parts.
Yes, yes he does. Look on TOP of his head.
Oh. It was under his hat.
That wasn’t me, that was Jennifer again! And I do not have tiny private parts! My mom says that she knows LOTS of men with much smaller private parts!
No, I’m not Jennifer, you’re Jennifer! And I demand that you take back what you said about my mother!
My bookmarks folder is out of control.
My point is that Obama is black and that means he’s not a natural born citizen. He’s not even a citizen at all! Roger Taney proved it, and he was the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court! Refute that!
Jennifer, stop pretending to be me! You’re not fooling anyone! Although your point about Obama not being a citizen is a good one.
Lots of women tell their boyfriends that, but it isn’t what she’s going to tell her friends after you break up.
A nom, a plan, anal — Pamona
Oh very good.
Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, why must you torment me so?
y mus u deny me bukkit?
In what way is not allowing some Foofs to videotape a meeting, any meeting anywhere, censorship? The foofs can still do their foof-thing as loud and long as possible. If I hold a pro-choice meeting in my living room is it censorship to not allow them in?
Warner Todd is Loadpant’s stupider brother. Thanksgiving Dinners for that family must be gut-busting, knee-slapping, thigh-slapping, priceless, a scream, a hoot (courtesy of my Thesaurus)
…or is it butt-gusting… butt-guttsing… slut tapping… naw.
Because SHUT UP, that’s why!
Shut up, that’s why!
America, Fuck Yeah!
Proud Pomona graduate.
(And interesting that Huston can’t maintain consistent spelling of it within two lines.)
Go Sagehens!
Can’t get no bus to Pomona.
You can get the bus for Pomona here
if you get on the subway first.
I never can get no bus.
You can go all around Hollywood
where I was, from Hollywood and Vine
And you can get to Pomona for $3.50
from Hollywood and Vine to Pomona
I never heard of no bus there.
Burning toilets give you so much more.
I remember seeing the Burning Toilets live, before they sold out.
Silencio!
I’ve been (re-)watching David Lynch movies all weekend (starting with Inland Empire) and as if I wasn’t freaked out enough already, you just put the blue key in my box.
As much as SN! cracks me up sometimes, it bugs me how often the targets are such low-hanging fruit. Warner Todd Huston, srsly? I mean, yeah, WTH is a retard and farts also smell bad. I feel like in spite of the funny, the blogowners are pretty severely squandering their snark.
Go Sagehens!
I went to a school that was in the same tiny conference as the (in those days) Pomona-Pitzer Sagehens. I always thought that was the coolest team name ever.
…looks like it is still Pomona-Pitzer. For some reason I thought they’d split up some time in the last 20 years or so.
I love the badass sagehen mascot, too.