I Hereby Cede Control of the “Fuck Christmas” Campaign…

…to the guy who created fuckchristmas.org (via Oliver Willis). Here’s my favorite part:

But you boys at FOX still freak out every year about how everyone’s out to get your special trees. This is really the most important thing you have to talk about? Whether Target says Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas? Here?s a brainstorm: there?s a fucking war on. Our soldiers are out there dying while you guys do your 14th live feed of the day from WalMart to show us what good little consumers we are. What Would Jesus Do? He?d jump over that newsdesk and kick your ass for that shit.

Hell yes, brother. Preach that shit.

(Thanks to the brilliant S.Z. for tipping me off to this picture.)


Comments: 26


Oh man, that’s a good rant.


I like the image of Jesus showing up at the Fox “newsroom” and beating the crap out of an anchor.

“Don’t make Me shove this crown of thorns up your self-righteous, hypocritical ass, Bill.”

LA Confidential Pantload

John Gibson’s ready to give ’em five in the eggnoggin.


The trouble is, even though the media jump all over these “important” stories, the steady flow of reports of bombings and shootings from Iraq keeps making the news somehow. Sure, the MSM just tends to mention them quickly like they are embarrassed and moves on, but they need to totally bury these negative stories. Why do they hate America?


PETA, where are you now? Where is the outrage? Can’t you see, they’ve killed Prancer, Donner, and Blixen? Next thing you know, they’ll be going after Rudolf. How about a good old fashioned nude demonstration on the North Pole?


Oh HELL YEAH-and it’s about fucking time somebody said it!


While I appreciate the essay, it doesn’t quite have the suave flair of the The Spirit of Anti-Christmas site [warning: red text on green background color scheme.


One word for that site: brilliant.


As a neopagan who always kinda dug Jesus (the one in the Bible, not whoever the hell it is playing ventriloquist & dummy with Pat Robertson), let me say Amen!

Four words: Stunt reindeer; real Santa.


I’m dreaming of a red Christmas.


ortho_bob quoted the following letter from the Austin American-Statesman:

No forum to be heard

I wish all of you a very, very Merry Christmas.

If I offend others in any way, do not read this. It is so very sad that I do not have the right to express myself as a white, hard-working, American-born female anymore.


Cedar Park


Hell yes! Preach that shit indeed! Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of stupidity, I shall fear no bs, for thou art with me and preparest Thyself to kick Bill O’Reilly’s ass on cable tv for mine everlasting amusement.


Anything that can make me laugh at 1:00 in the morning, when I’ve just finished writing a term paper on forms and styles in ancient Sicilian rhetoric, is worth reading. What an awesome rant. Someday, that’s going to be required reading for Ranting 101.


BTW, just for the record (no pun intended), I’m behind the effort to get department stores to eliminate the use of the greeting, “Merry Christmas.” I don’t want the virgin Mary left out in the cold at Christmas, so I’m urging them to use “Mary Christmas!” Furthermore, don’t get me wrong, I love the snow, but “it never (snows) in California,” and I’m sick of waiting for it to snow in Bakersfield. So, from now on,
I’m Dreaming of a Right Christmas! Don’t bother to search for the song at

It hasn’t even been written yet. Consider yourselves warned!


I’d pay good money to see him read that whole thing on FOX.


There’s one thing I have to say about poor Santa in the snow:
Better dead than red.


What about poor Blixen, you massacred his name.


Massacred his name? Please explain.


I wish I had written that. Man.


Blixen, Blitzen, what’s the dif? He’s dead now.


So it’s Blitzen, and not Blixen? You know, when I was a child of 3 and my mom, Dorothy, used to read “T’was the Night Before Christmas” to me, I always had a hunch she was pronouncing that name wrong, but I just thought, heck, this is Canada, they pronounce everything kind of funny here. No, I’m kidding, Mr. x. Actually I took the liberty of replacing the “tz” with an “x” to indicate the fact that Blitzen is now dead. No, Mr. x, I’m kidding again, or perhaps I just said that to cover up my tracks, just to make myself sound less dumberer than I already appear to be.


Canada huh? Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Don’t sweat the small stuff doc, I wuz just makin’ a funny.


mr x, you are indeed a compassionate soul. you will likely become a leader in a growing movement in which the right and the left will become one, and love one another like brothers and sisters–it will be like the love-ins of the 60s only, instead of the movement being dominated by left-wingers, the left will unite with the right. It will be like the pre-banishment Garden of Eden, where the lamb sat down with the lion, without fear of being turned into the lion’s lunch.

I’m kidding, mr. x. I’m not really this prophetic, or this delusional, at least not when I’ve been taking my psych meds. I’m kidding again, I don’t really take psych meds, but I don’t look down on my patients, who do. Thanks for your concern, but I took your blog entry every bit as lightly as you intended it to be taken. Have a good evening, or whatever it is on your side of the world right now.


This thead appears to be dead as the Santa and as dead as the reindeer that appear in the concomitant photo teaser.


yes. Amazing. And now to do away with the 700 club…


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