I’d Honestly Never Thought of it Like That, Pastor Swank…
P-Swank is on a roll today:
It is sad that the US has lost one of its major political parties, the Dems, to the Muslims murderers global. And we have long lost our mainline newsfeeds to the Islamic fanatics. Nevertheless, such is fact.
Yes, it’s fact that half the country has converted to the killing cult Muslims global murderers religion.
However, in the face of all that, Mr. Bush and team continue “to stay the course,” though I noted a liberal panelist the other day deriding the repeated use of that phrase.
Oooooh, bad move. Don’t ever mock George W. Jesus when Pastor Swank’s around.
I wanted to say: “Don?t you realize that using that phrase will in fact by the definition of that phrase itself mean repeating the phrase?”
Why this man doesn’t have his own cable news show is anybody’s guess.
Staying the course is staying the course and staying the course is to continue to use the phrase “stay the course.”
Hey, FOX News? Think you could fire Greta and give Pastor Swank the 10 o’clock slot? You could call it “The Swank Report,” and it’d a full hour of zaniness featuring musical guest Dr. BLT and fashion reporter Kaye Grogan. Oh, and we could also have Marie strut around in a PePo classic thong- that’d totally bring in the ratings.
So it is that Mr. Bush must be encouraged. He and his colleagues get this information, knowing full well that it is this strength that will win over the Muslims murderers global. (Do not refer to them as “insurgents” or “terrorists.” These are terms the liberals use to mask the true identity of the slaughterers. Call them what they are: Muslim murderers global and Islamic killers international.)
How about “Muslamic slurdillers intercontinental?” Or is that too wordy?
Yeah, I’m with Swanky, calling someone a terrorist is a total whitewash!
I want his car! (after the apocalypes, of course)
also, did Gavin change his nom?
also, did Gavin change his nom?
You mean Michael? I dunno- ask him 🙂
The Swankinator seems to be writing almost in Gilbert & Sullivan verse.
The phrase “Muslims murderers global” and the near rhyming and metered space between “fanatics” and “fact.”
With his staying the course riff he veers off into Mr. Ed land, but this is a new and exciting direction for the Good Reverand.
So let me see if I’ve got this straight: when Bush says we’ve got to stay the course, what he really means is we’ve got to keep saying, “Stay the course,” and ‘terrorist’ is actually a euphemism for murderer.
I dunno..”I am the very model of a Muslim murderer global,” is kinda catchy but really doesn’t scan too well.
I dunno..”I am the very model of a Muslim murderer global,” is kinda catchy but really doesn’t scan too well.
Excellent 🙂
I think it is Rhombic Pentameter.
Saying “stay the course” is like the “lather, rinse, repeat” instructions on shampoo. Once you start, you can never stop.
The Swankinator seems to be writing almost in Gilbert & Sullivan verse.
You laugh, but if anybody’s “got a little list”, it’s surely Swank.
And, hey, can we get someone to photoshop his face on Mr Ed’s head? Or would that just be wrong?
(Well, not as wrong as the mental image of Swank as Yum-Yum, but there you go.)
OBSerious: Does he really, honestly think that the dems dig both queers and feminists and secularists *and* militant Muslims? How does he keep his head from imploding?
“Oh, and we could also have Marie strut around in a PePo classic thong- that’d totally bring in the ratings.”
no shit!
Marie could be the Weather Girl, and, while sporting her PePo thong, could fling apostrophes and colons and other random punctuation at the weather map, causing Kaye to tear her hair out and gnash her dentures–not because Marie was doing it incorrectly, but because Kaye wanted to be the one doing it.
Staying the course is staying the course and staying the course is to continue to use the phrase “stay the course.”
There’s something about that sentence which seems like it would make sense, but I just can’t figure out what or how.
And, hey, can we get someone to photoshop his face on Mr Ed’s head? Or would that just be wrong?
Yes it would be wrong. The head is on the opposite side from where Swanky’s face should be.
Staying the course is staying the course and staying the course is to continue to use the phrase “stay the course.”
There’s something about that sentence which seems like it would make sense, but I just can’t figure out what or how.
Two thoughts:
1) It’s a Moebius sentence
2) It’s part of that Mr. Ed thang, y’know “Staying the course, of course, of course, except when the course…” whatever.
“I am the very model of a Muslim global murderer…”
Of course, that makes it actual English word order instead of Swankonian.
Never mind.
Hey, everybody! Guess who’s back in the original “Worst Song Evah?” thread, aka the Limpity Bizkity thread? #1 fan hisself, Dan! And, as has been the case to date, he’s overflowing with wisdom:
Can someone who understands cretin please tell me what that second sentence is supposed to mean? Well, since he’s bothering to monitor that thread, go say “hi” and give him that special, persecuted feeling! Oh, and it’s at about 94 comments right now, so some lucky person is gonna be #100-it could be you!
******
When I read that, all I thought was:”If I was seriously stoned, I think that might sound really deep.”
But then I realized that, no…I’d probably just start laughing uncontrollably and point out: “Dude…you’re fried!“
Me and a college buddy of mine wanted to start a band. After some deliberation we decided to call ourselves “Ragnar?k Inc.”. “Muslim Murderes Global and Islamic Killers International”… Man, we were NEVER that stoned.
The correct attribution is “Muslim Murders Global Amalgamated”. Let me check the ticker; they’re up 2 and a quarter points!
And Marq, thanks for the heads up! I was beginning to think that Dan had had his internet privileges revoked for compulsive wanking. Glad to see it’s not so; I’m off to Bizkitville!
The Swank Report.
Wasn’t Swank a porno mag from the ’80’s?
Shingles, I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would know something like that! And it was such a lousy girly mag, too!
I would have read it if it had been titled “Wank,” but, then, that’d be a really different ‘zine.
—You could call it “The Swank Report,” and it’d (be) a full hour of zaniness featuring musical guest Dr. BLT and fashion reporter Kaye Grogan.—
I’ll take the gig, Brad. When the Rolling Stones found out I was a Sweet Neo Con, they kicked me off the tour as the
Opening Act for the Rolling Stones
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2005
http://www.drblt.com/music/OpeningACT.mp3
(cut and paste link to hear and download mp3 for free, compliments of Dr. BLT)
Swank Report ???
You’ve got to be kidding. It would be called:
“Swank Swank”
And that’s a fact.
I think Swanky has been reading Jack Handy for talking points….
I remember seeing the fine publication “Swank” during my highschool days. Don’t forget, you can’t spell Swank without the wank!
It’s probably just the migraine meds talking, but at a guess:
no don’t kno shit!
means “Sadly, No!, that is to say, the people I’ve found at this site, tragically seem to be quite ignorant of the glory that is Limp Bizkit, among many, many other fascinating cultural phemonena. I feel both pity and contempt for them.”
Either that, or he’s left out a comma and the pronoun (“I” or “me”, of course, being probably the most commonly implied ones) and is admitting he’s A) an idiot, or B) constipated.
Is Swank …
a) an idiot
b) insane
c) both
d) actually written by 100 drunken monkeys with typewriters.
his article this time made even less sense than his usual writings…
Major Woody, if I remember right, the girlie mag “Swank” got the girls who were not pretty enough (even with airbrushing) to make “High Society” or even “Barely Legal”
or so I heard….
d) actually written by 100 drunken monkeys with typewriters.
The monkeys actually have Dell laptops. Also, it would be “100 monkeys drunken” in Swankonian.
Every time I think Pastor Swank has written the definitive Swankadelic column, he goes and outdoes himself. He’s awesome.
the column Swankedilic definitive???
Definitely definitive!
Swank rocks!
Now if I could just find a Pepo thong.
🙁
That last bit so *so* be Muslamic slurdillers incontinental
They still make Swank, or at least they still have it on the internets.
Swank was also the magazine that Principal Skinner has in his apartment when they figure out that he’s not really Principal Skinner. (Can I see your copy of Swank, Armen?)
100 monkeys drunken
9 Muslim murderers global
8 Democrats Undermining
7 Maids a barefoot
6 Syntax errors
Fiiiiiive Womb baby killinngs
four… Well, you get the idea.