Today’s Anti-Christmas News

I think I’ve found the perfect picture for my “Fuck Christmas” campaign:

“Burn, mofo, burn!!!”

And now, for the latest update in the Secret Plot to Ruin Christmas for Everyone, we turn to the American Family Association, who report on anti-Christmas activity in my very own home town of Boston:

Christian students at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, are criticizing Christmas censorship that is happening in nearby Boston this year. Recently, the city officially renamed its Christmas tree in Boston Commons a “holiday tree” — a move that has sparked outrage in Beantown and beyond.

Hey wingnuts. Mayor Mumbles already said it was a Christmas tree. Por favor, just let it drop.

Christian leaders and pro-family advocates across the United States are disturbed by what appears to be yet another attempt to squelch expressions of Christian faith and to sever all religious meaning from the observance and celebration of Christmas.

‘Cause when the government fails to actively promote your religious beliefs, that’s the worst kind of censorship. Personally, I’m still bitter that city officials in Jamaica Plain won’t let me erect a Festivus display on public property.

Criticism of the city’s renaming of the Boston Commons Christmas tree is coming in from all over the nation, and Liberty University president Jerry Falwell has even threatened to file a lawsuit over the controversy.

Yes, you read that correctly: Jerry Falwell has threatened to sue Boston over how we refer to a fucking tree.

I’m almost pissed that Boston backed down from the original “Holiday Tree” title that appeared on the city’s website. Not because I’m actually offended at the mention of “Christmas,” mind you, but just because Falwell doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of victory. Were I Mayor Menino, I’d not only have kept calling it a “Holiday Tree,” but I would’ve put a big banner over city hall that read, “Season’s Greetings, Motherfuckers!” (This is, of course, why I will probably never win any political office.)

Harvard University senior Philip Powell, a member of the school’s Harvard-Radcliffe Christian Fellowship (HRCF), says he was amused at first by the city’s political correctness, but soon he became disgusted. “Certainly what Harvard — and, really the Boston area in general — tries to do is call for a culture of understanding and mutual appreciation for various faiths, but it’s really not what’s happening here,” he notes.

“Much more than appreciating the Christian faith here,” Powell continues, “really, as ridiculous as it sounds, [the City of Boston] is trying to suppress it.”

Yeah, you may remember how Boston city officials torched all those churches and jailed a bunch of ministers for caroling in the street. Here in Beantown, we do religious persecution with class.


Comments: 64


This joker (as featured on Michelle Malkin?s blogged toilet) is asking his readers (plural: assuming both of his parents haven?t died of shame) to send Christmas cards to the ACLU.


Yeah, like the ACLU is so anti-Christian. They’ll stand up for anyone, Rush Limbaugh and the Klan included, but they just can’t abide Christians. What a fuckstick.


I’d vote for you, Brad!


I went to the link. “Muscleheads”? It amazes me that the right seems to actually be embracing the idea that stupidity is a virtue. I mean, I nearly lost it when I heard that Rush’s fans call themselves “Dittoheads” but it seems like lately the idea that idiocy is virtue and education is vice is their mantra.

Oh, and – pagan holiday, Jesus born in April, blah blah blah. Hell, might as well call it a “Holiday Tree” because everyone knows it’ll be up through New Years and possibly Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s day. I miss the good old days where everyone just enjoyed the opulance of the season and the only people who cared about the tree were middle aged women who would pray to the gods of Hallmark that this new orniment would bring the family together enough to ignore for one night the fact that her husband was an alcoholic and her son was turning gay.


From those America-hating commies at the History Channel:

Christmas was not a holiday in early America. From 1659 to 1681, the celebration of Christmas was actually outlawed in Boston. Anyone exhibiting the Christmas spirit was fined five shillings. By contrast, in the Jamestown settlement, Captain John Smith reported that Christmas was enjoyed by all and passed without incident.

After the American Revolution, English customs fell out of favor, including Christmas. In fact, Congress was in session on December 25, 1789, the first Christmas under America’s new constitution. Christmas wasn’t declared a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.

Once again we find ourselves asking, “Why did the Founding Fathers hate America?”


I mean Christmas. Although they’re both the same thing, I guess in WingnutSpeak.


Wait a god damned minute. As the original musclehead (I precede that balding cocksucker by at least a couple of months), I must stand up for the term. Many, if not most, bodybuilders do not fit the dumb jock stereotype, largely because you need to understand anatomy/physiology, biochemistry and mechanics in order to build a championship caliber body. And so, some of us are taking back the word musclehead, sort of like some black folks using the N word and gay people using queer.
But… I must say that pasty ass who has musclehead revolution is about as close to a bodybuilder as I am to a Fundie.


They’re just jealous that their city has to PAY for their christms tree with tax dollars, and boston gets sent theirs for free! every year by Halifax, Nova Scotia.


Rodney- did you read the wingnut’s “the speech Bush should be giving on Iraq?” Arguing that there hasn’t been a “humanitarian disaster” since we invaded?

Uhm, 30,000+ dead civilians sounds pretty disastrous to me…


I’d vote for you, Brad!

Yeah, well, that’s part of the problem, Charlotte 😉



On of the saddest things I?ve ever seen (and I live across the river from Camden NJ): ?We are winning. We are winning big time. Oh boy, are we winning! Could be winnin’ anymore.? I took one look at this sad, sad man?s site and beat it back to my own (poorly designed)site and begged my reader(s) to send this guy Saturnalia cards. His email address is, by the way; just incase any of you folks wanna send Daniel Webster a Kwanzaa or Chanukah E-card.


Rodney- it’s too bad I didn’t know about him last month- he woulda gotten a friendly Rammadan greeting.


Never too late to say “Happy Rammadan”, if you ask me.


You can use a picture from my childhood for your campaign.

BE WARNED: The picture will make you weep with disgust.


“Season’s Greetings Motherfuckers!”
I’ve found my new comeback when somebody wishes me a “Merry Christmas”. Thanks, Sadly, No!


Has anybody asked the ACLU what it thinks of the Christmas greetings it’s getting? I can just see the scene now…

ACLU LAWYER: Hmm… let’s check the ol’ email. Spam… spam… spam… Natural enhancement? Oh, spam… Message from George Soros, “Keep up the good work, blah blah blah”… Invitation to human sacrifice — shit, I already have two scheduled that day… Hmm, what’s this? “Important message.” Better open it… Merry Chris– MY EYES!!!! OH DEAR SATAN IT BURNS MAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP AIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(ACLU LAWYER’s skin begins to smoke and blacken. Within a few moments, ACLU LAWYER is reduced to a small pile of greasy ashes.)


Ah, but Call-Me-Kevin, isn?t asking people to send e-cards, because the HTML Scientists at his site are still working on developing them (although the Times did report that Kevin sought to purchase yellow Active Server Pages from Niger). Now, there are tribes living in extinct volcanoes in Borneo who have better coding skills than I do, yet I have access to E-cadrs. What gives?


Oh, no Dan. It’s not email this yahoo is asking folks to send. It’s honest to goodness physical cards festooned with baby Jesi.

I’m guessing they’ll handle it like the anthrax scare, myself…


I would like to report the first “Christ out of Christmas” complaint in my community. Someone is upset because the annual parade is called the “Holiday Parade”. The name was changed years ago but only this year does this moron complain. I plan to write a response saying in part, that Christ was taken out of Christmas when Santa, elves and flying reindeer were allowed in. Would Jesus really care so much about a parade in his honor? Or would He expect us to care for those who suffer and are in need?
Should I close with “Happy Holidays”?


This is way OT, but I tried out the new version of Firefox today, and it wasn’t pretty. First bad sign: I wanted to clear out the History. In the prefs window, I clicked on a “Clear History Now” button (I may be paraphrasing exactly what the button said). Firefox proceeded to sit there, spinning its wheels… for like 15 minutes! Screw that, I thought, and force-quitted out of it. Fired it up again and found, much to my surprise, that right-clicking no longer produced contextual menus. In fact, I couldn’t find any way to summon them–which was kinda unfortunate, since I use things located in contextual menus a LOT. Spent some quality time searching around for the commands I needed in regular menus, prefs, etc. Nope. Nada. So, in the end, Firefox’s functionality was reduced for me by about 85% at one fell swoop. Huzzah. Of course, I had stupidly copied the new version over the previous one. D’oh! Fortunately, one of my friends had the installer from an even older version laying around, so I’m gonna go back to it (and, yeah, I know there are a number of security holes in that version). So, on the whole, I hate version 1.5. Your satisfaction may vary.


Isn’t the thing about the holidays that they involve, you know, holidays, plural? Christmas, New Years, Solstice, Hannukah, Kwanzaa. It’s not like the Christians invented the winter holiday. ANd wouldn’t using Xmas cards as a weapon to blast the ACLU make the baby Jesus cry?


marq – are you using extensions? try starting firefox 1.5 in safe mode and see what happens. adblock in particular is a huge problem for firefox 1.5. try the mozillazine forums.

back on topic: We need to ban the disgusting “O Tannenbaum,” along with its deviously cloaked variant “O Christmas Tree.” They’re at best PC…and at worst part of the George Soros Conspiracy Against Christmas!

It’s A Matter of National Identity And I Think You Know What I’m Talking About!


Brad – whatever the Editors may think, those of us in the know know that Sadly, No! is in the vangaurd of the Fuck Christmas campaign. Therefore I wanted to report to you that the Douchebag-in-Chief is claiming that the anti-Christmas forces are retreating in defeat.

Hopefully we can take advantage of his complacence to launch an offensive, or perhaps open up a new front. If only someone knew where he lived; we could put a flaming holiday tree on his lawn…


IIRC, Christmas was not celebrated in the English colonies, except as a n excuse for grownups ot get drunk.

The Dutch in New York did celebrate it, the point being that during the Revolutionary war the British Soldiers were getting shit-faced in NYC every December while the patriots were starving in New Jersey.

Christmas trees were not generally seen anywhere in the English speaking (outside of NYC) world until Prince Albert introduced it to London. The Christmas trees in Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ were not in any sense traditional to the scenario, but examples of modern fashion and innovation.

The trees had a lot to do with Christmas being reinvented from being a sacred day to one htat celibrates secular family values, unbridled sentimentality, and lavish consumption.

And don’t get me started on the pagan holiday of Easter.


What the hell – I’m gonna go OT also, I’m very upset. I opened up my local paper today to see that the editorial page has a new columist… NRO’s own K-Lo!

I am fucking mortified. Her first column? Why don’t kids today wear T-shirts with Reagen instead of that asshole Che?

Happy holidays, motherfuckers.


Why don’t kids today wear T-shirts with Reagen instead of that asshole Che?

You can blame pop culture for that- Che’s become a pop icon even though most kids have no fucking idea who he was.

If K-Lo’s so upset, she needs to start her own conservative rock band- I’m thinkin’ Rage For the Machine, or something like that.


I saw a shirt (on D-ho’s site) that said “Commies aren’t Cool” and had a picture of Che.

The same ad had a Che style tee of Reagan that said ‘Viva la Reagan Revolucion.’

I couldn’t beleive they were serious about the Reagan shirt.

But I had to agree with the first one, not because I don’t think Commies are cool, but because I always take my advice about what is cool from Republican websites. I mean, Tucker Carlson, VBen, Jonah Goldberg…when I think of hip and trendy, they spring directly to mind.


I hope you merry mockers are prepared for the lumps of coal you’re going to get in your Christmas stockings this year!
Ho! Ho! Ho!

Jesus may have mercy on your souls, but Santa, well, let me put it this way: He’s a little less divine, and a little more devilish. He’s a bit more human, and a little less humane!


Run for councilman at large next election cycle. I’ll get half of Brighton to vote for you (in exchange for cups of warm, flat bud light).


Drunkhamlet. I can relate. I’m a bloggaholic and a trollaholic. WIll you settle for a bit of old fashioned Christmas eggnog?

BTW, Brad, nice picture of Moses hiding behind a burning bush.


If K-Lo’s so upset, she needs to start her own conservative rock band- I’m thinkin’ Rage For the Machine, or something like that.

Hahahaha…wait. Don’t give them ideas like that.

I fucking hate that bitch. Maybe she should start a band called “Fat Ugly Catholic Chicks Who Couldn’t Get Laid if They were the Last Females on Earth and Consequently Want to Punish all the Normal Chicks out there Who Are Having Actual Sex.”


thats fuckin holiday eggnog to you, mister


And that’s DOCTOR to you drunkhamlet! Never mind, I know it’s just the alcohol talking. Why don’t you just shut up and go back to your warm, flat bud light. And don’t say I didn’t offer you some of my Christmas eggnog!


admiral Santa, what was the name of the paper and/or article? I’d like to read it..


Good god, keep your christmas “eggnog” away from me. You are really becoming the king of freudian slips.


Timmah420, I was wondering when you would pick up on that. The only problem is this: If it’s intentional, it’s not a slip. I’m kidding, it was strictly unconscious. No, coming to think of it, if it was unconscious, my conscious mind would not be aware that it was unconscious. Now you’ve got me really confused! Why can’t an eggnog just be an eggnog?


Marq, when I upgraded to FF 1.5, I had a huge problem with Norton Internet Security, which apparently has a bug that makes it block Firefox after you upgrade. No matter how you set it. I had to reset NIS to the defaults to get FF to work with NIS enabled, and that of course means I have to tell it all over again what to do with every app that wants to access the Intarwebs now.

But Firefox works.


I only used Firefox for a few, specific tasks that 1.5 doesn’t seem capable of doing, so I’ll probably downgrade to that earlier version that actually works rather than spending hours dicking around with the new one, only to still not have it work the way I need it to.
And onto another subject, how is it that BLT actually fielded three or four posts without shilling for one of his :::shudder::: songs?


You know what’s interesting? That there don’t have to be Hannukah trees and Festivus trees and Flying Pasta Trees.

See, it’s discrimination when we act as though Christmas is just as important as the other holidays.

I mean, it’s not the fucking “Every Holiday but Christmas” tree.

This spectacle of Christians being enraged that they are being treated as equals makes me want to smash something.

Incidentally, this is why we secularists are so hostile to Christianity; because you think we should live in the ghetto while you get all the good stuff. We’d be crazy not to be a bit miffed at that attitude.

PS to Christians who aren’t like that; I’ve yet to see your god do much of anything to clean these doofi out of his house. I mean, he’s omnipotent, I think he could find a way not to be surrounded with corruption. That he doesn’t seem to mind makes me suspicious of him, and honestly, makes me think you guys are a bit naive about him.


What’s Christian about a Xmas tree anyway? All the idiots who are complaining should first do some research. Maybe when they realize that all this tree thing is pagan they will realize how they made fools out of themselves.


Just remember, all the people who think that every “happy holidays” makes baby jesus cry, they are all the same people keeping their kids in on Haloween night, lest satan and his minions get them. The people destroyed trick-or-treating, so its only natural that they’d suspect us of trying to kill Santa, Jesus, Rudolph, God, the Elves, the Pharisees, and basically all other groups associated with the christmas story.


It strikes me that the ones really ruining Christmas for everyone are these fundies with their bitching and moaning. And sending Christmas cards as a harassment technique? Nice. That’s totally Christ-like! It’s “Christians” like that that drove me to agnosticism.


Marq, per your request, here’s a song that represents what I believe should be the first step towards preserving the spirit of Christmas: Not a war, (at least not yet ), but rather, a campaign to keep Christmas alive. Oh, BTW, let’s not crush Hanukkuh, or crash anyone else’s party either.

I suggest we start by letting Christmas-bashing Scrooges know how
much Christmas means to us.

This is a song inspired by one of these Christmas-bashing, Christian-persecuting Sadly, No! threads. It got me thinking about what the world would be like without Christ, and without Christmas.

I co-wrote it and co-perform it with my cross-country US/Canadian band, It’s called:

A World Without Christmas
words and music by Dr. BLT & Darryl Ens (c)2005

Marq, I know my name’s not Casey Kasum, but wherever you are, this one’s for you.


Duh, I guess it would help to supply a link. Like I’ve said a hundred times before, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. You’ll need to cut and paste this link to get to the song:

A World WIthout Christmas:


Ianua, my local rag has a nice online section, so I found the column for you (the usual disclaimer about personal injury as a reult of reading it apply). Here you go:

And as a bonus I even found the oh so awesome reagen T-shirts she wants people to get:

Is there an uglier shirt out there? I’m hard pressed to say yes.


Thanks, admiral. I’ve seen that Reagan shirt before. And after I read your post last night I spent a few hours googling and reading people’s thoughts on Che T-shirts (beats working on my term papers, which is what I’m supposed to be doing)

There were of course a gamut of responses, from the douchebag who told how he stumped customers and the checkout girl at his local health food store by reminding them that Che founded the Cuban gulag, to the usual ‘I hate fuckin commies’ to ‘don’t they know that buying t-shirts is capitalism’ etc.

The most compelling arguments for Che merchandise were from a guy who pointed out that Che has become an icon of resistance to Yanqui imperialism in Latin America. This gibes with my own experience. On a trip to Montreal a Latino friend bought a Che shirt, and behind his picture was written (in Spanish) some anti-American thing he wrote. When I asked him what was up with the America bashing he explained pretty much what this guy had posted about Che.

The other thing that occurred to me was that there are probably very few revolutionary leaders who do not deserve the appellation ‘murderous bastard,’ as one self-righteous libertarian (is there any other kind?) on the internets dubbed him. Should we take Washington off our money given that he was also responsible for thousands of deaths and murdered people for political reasons?

Lopez’ notion of replacing Che with Reagan is particularly offensive given that it was Reagan who released the death squads and Contras on Central America. I’m not very well-informed about Latin American politics, but I would think that you couldn’t find a more fitting icon of American imperialism than the gipper.

I also like how she quotes Anthony Daniels in her article. Who knew C-3PO was a wingnut?

Also, just to stay on topic, Fuck Christmas…


I would like to personally extend thanks to Jews Against Anti-Christian Americans for announcing at a National Press Club gathering in Washington D.C., that they are “sick of secular efforts to eradicate Christmas from America’s cultural landscapes.”

President Don Feder said, “This is an overwhelmingly Christian nation, and it’s a matter of simple courtesy to acknowledge a holiday celebrated by 96 percent of American people. “


Yeah, Christmas sure isn’t being acknowledged. There were no Christmas displays put up before Halloween. There are no Christmas lights in my neighborhood. There are no Christmas stamps at the Post Office.

Oh wait, I’m being sarcastic.


I haven’t seen a “secular effort to eradicate Christmas from America’s cultural landscapes,” but, you know, I’m starting to really fucking crave one, BAD.


Ah, Dr. Sammich, it’s so incredibly easy to bait you, it almost isn’t sporting.


“Much more than appreciating the Christian faith here,” Powell continues, “really, as ridiculous as it sounds, [the City of Boston] is trying to suppress it.”

Wow, I had no idea the cops were arresting people in the streets of Boston for saying “Merry Christmas” and hanging lights on their houses.

And tell me again why the actions of the City of Boston is Harvard’s fault? Harvard’s not in Boston, it’s in Cambridge.


I had no idea there was an organization as stupid as Jews Against Anti-Christian Defamation. Thanks to Doc Anti-Kosher for bringing them to my attention. I’ve looked through their website and I have to say that the Jews associated with that organization are definitely not going to be getting their dividend checks from the Global Jewish Mind Control Conspiracy.

Here’s a telling point from a commentary entitled “Christmas — Going, Going… Gone?” by organization president Don Feder: “A FOX News poll informs us that 96 % of the American people celebrate Christmas ? which means a lot of non-Christians are decking the halls too.” So what exactly is all the fuss? If 96% of the population celebrates Christmas (a figure that sounds a bit high to me) then where is this so-called “war on Christmas?” Nobody seems to be having trouble celebrating, even in the face of such massive assaults as “holiday parties” and “Season’s Greetings.”

By the way, if you read the “Who We Are” section of the Jews Against Anti-Christian Defmation (or NAMBLA, as Jon Stewart would say) site, it becomes immediately obvious that this is a right-wing political organization, complaining about all the usual lefty subjects: gay marriage, abortion, blah de blah de blah.


Thanks Dan. I don’t care if they’re right-wingers. So am I. I respect the fact that they are willing to defend the rights of a religious group other than their own.


Marq: Easy to bait? Me? That’s de-bait-able.


If 96% of the population celebrates Christmas (a figure that sounds a bit high to me) then where is this so-called “war on Christmas?”

You gotta watch out for that 4%.


But Doc, the point is, they’re not “defend[ing] the rights of a religious group other than their own.” Seriously, what “rights” of Christians are threatened? I’m not sure where in the Constitution there is a right to have store clerks say “Merry Christmas” to you instead of “Happy Holidays.”

No, they’re just pushing a radical conservative agenda that they happen to share with a religious group other than their own, and using that religious group’s claim of victimization as a lever to give themselves — or rather, that agenda — more credibility among the masses.

I also find interesting this organization’s breathless excitement that evangelicals are among Israel’s greatest supporters in the U.S. Of course they are, you silly Jewish people — those evangelicals who are loudest in their support for Israel are hoping to see the End Times and the conversion (or plunging into hell) of the Jews. It’s like wild ducks applauding Ducks Unlimited for supporting wetlands protection. Guys, they’re hunters.


I guess I don’t really want to contemplate too deeply the mindset of someone who gets angry at people who wish him well, because they don’t use the precise wording he prefers.


Doc, not to name-call, but you’re an easy-bait oven (snicker)!


Dan, Christians and Jews share a rich redemptive history, though traditionally Jews and Christians part ways in terms of the nature of that redemption and, more specifically, whether or not Christ is the Messiah. Furthermore, I don’t know which Christians you have been talking to lately, but none of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are secretly wishing any form of apocolyptic destruction upon the Jews. Yes, I’ll admit that some of my fellow right-wingers have become too paranoid over the prospect of losing Christmas, but though the threat may be exaggerated in their minds, it is real. I found that out when, while employed for a particular company in the mid-90s, I was asked to perform at the annual “Holiday Celebration,” but told I was not to sing the name of Jesus or refer to the Christmas message at all in any of my songs. When I did deliver my songs, I made sure I sang the part about Jesus at about 3 times the volume of the rest of the song. You know how I feel about freedom of speech & censorship, don’t you. Needless to say, I’m no longer employed for them. I don’t care what that little stunt of mine may have cost me. I don’t like liberals being forced to shut up and I don’t like being forced to shut up either.

“Doc, not to name-call, but you’re an easy-bait oven (snicker)”

Marq, not bad for a bit of half-baked humor.


Doc, some light reading:

“On the Road to Armageddon: How evangelicals became Israel’s best friend.”

From Time Magazine: “According to prophecy, the Jews must be in control of Israel for Jesus to return. But in the last battle, two-thirds of the Jews perish, and the rest either accept Jesus as the true Messiah or they must be damned, literally.”

With friends like these, do Jews need enemies?


Why is it normally hook-nosed jews and self-hating whites like that one fat cripple Michael something-or-the-other who hate Christmas? Hell I don’t see any sand niggers complaining about it. Not even the tarbabies for that matter. I’m certainly no Christian, since Jesus was a picklenose I wouldn’t have been able to stand the dude. But c’mon here. A Christmas tree is a Christmas tree. Not a holiday tree. Thankfully though the country is starting to wake up and resist fucktards like you people. I think your days are numbered now, for sure.

Oh yea, impeach Bush. Fuck Israel.

Take care.


“Jebediah Walton said,

December 19, 2005 at 15:09

Why is it normally hook-nosed jews and self-hating whites like that one fat cripple Michael something-or-the-other who hate Christmas? Hell I don’t see any sand niggers complaining about it. Not even the tarbabies for that matter. I’m certainly no Christian, since Jesus was a picklenose I wouldn’t have been able to stand the dude. But c’mon here. A Christmas tree is a Christmas tree. Not a holiday tree. Thankfully though the country is starting to wake up and resist fucktards like you people. I think your days are numbered now, for sure.

Oh yea, impeach Bush. Fuck Israel.

Take care. ”

Ah… I hate the stench of anti-semeticism in the morning!




(comments are closed)