Can Amber come out and play?

From multiple Koufax awards nominee, Sadly, No! Enterprises Slave, and Subliminal Cinema Expert World O’Crap comes the news we had (all) been waiting for: our precious has returned:

[Sadly, No!’s] dream girl, Amber, is back at Men’s News Daily (sure, she said that they were misogynists and meanies and she would never have anything to do with them again, but apparently it was just one of those lover’s spats that end in wild passion and a renewed dedication to feminism bashing).

Not only is she back, but she’s discussing vaginas. We can’t lie to you good people, and must admit that we were pretty excited. Sadly, Amber’s latest oeuvre turns out to be mostly recycled crap about The Vagina Monologues, a play that as TBOGG put it when he wrote about Amber’s earlier thoughts on the matter has caused Amber to have “problems getting dates.” Would Amber let us down completely however? Happily, no! And so it begins:

sexually perverse plays targeted at young (read: impressionable) college females

Yes, how does that saying go again? Oh, now we remember: Casserole, Bouilloire, Noir? No. Topf, Kessel, Schwarz? No, not that either. Ah yes: Pot, Kettle, Black.

Let?s discuss what effect this play might have on your fifteen year-old daughter. Not only will she potentially watch this play; she might even star in it!

How awful! And now, the punchline:

First of all, a bunch of women sitting around discussing vaginas for extended periods of time is pure, utter lesbianism.

Although David Kupelian let us down yesterday, Amber comes to the rescue! Confusion reigns however. In the past, Amber has written that women who enjoy too much cock (not her certainly, but other women) are likely to become lesbians. So if too much cock is pure, utter lesbianism, and too much vagina is pure, utter lesbianism — what does that leave for straight women?

Fifteen year-old girls should be blushing when around boys. Any talk of sex, even the simplest thing like holding a girl?s hand, should bring a rush of embarrassment, titillation, and excitement.

The same holds, of course, for graduates of Penn State University.

Many young women come up to me and tell me they?re confused about their sexuality.

So Amber, how many sisters do you have?

heterosexual women will still be repulsed by the idea of engaging in lesbian sex acts with another woman.

Which is why Amber only engages in lesbian sex acts with men.

In a way really this whole ‘vagina issue’ of Amber is ironic — while Amber seems to hate hers, her role model can only dream of having been born with one. And that’s the most ridiculous item of the day.

And now, a song:

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis.
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong.
It’s swell to have a stiffy,
It’s divine to own a dick.

Thank you.


Comments: 9


We’d better not let Amber know the effect that showings of The Vagina Monologues are having on young women in Chicago.


Actually, one has to question whether The Vagina Monologues is really responsible for women becoming lesbians. After all, Lynne Cheney was a lipstick lesbian long before TVM, and her and Dick?s daughter also came out before TVM did. (Damn it! ? I was going to add, “And check out this Republican/Libertarian menage a trois!” and link to Amber?s picture of herself, her friend, and Ann Coulter, but Amber seems to have taken down her pictures.) btw, have you noticed that men named “Dick” (Cheney, Gephardt) seem to have daughters who are lesbians? What would Freud say?


Shorter Amber Pawlik: Why can’t we all get a-schlong?


What would Freud say?

That a grown man who obsesses about cock, herpes and lesbians has some serious issues? We keed, we keed!

PS to Peanut: Now that was comedy.


Hey, at least I (unlike S/N!) don’t sing songs about penises and sperm at my blog.


“So if too much cock is pure, utter lesbianism, and too much vagina is pure, utter lesbianism — what does that leave for straight women?”



“The Vagina Monologues are a play..” It ARE a play?


Seems that with Amber, every road leads to a womans bed. A womans hot, sweaty, sordid, unamerican, forbidden, secret, dirty, lesbian bed.
Liberal Lesbianism is imposing itself on her world. Its forcing its way into her mind. Even when she gets too much cock she starts thinking of lesbians.

What is a girl to do?

Right, I off to write a letter to Penthouse…


amber has butt herpes.


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