This came up the other day. It is, in a word, BRILLIANT!

FYWP

Yes! Now why didn’t I think of that?!?

But wouldn’t it be fun to follow the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court Justice Anita Hill?

Or Hillary Clinton.

For me, I would love to see Michael Moore’s name be considered.

Don’t even think of nominating me. I was disbarred for perjury.

Justice Albert Gore, Jr.

Has a nice ring to it.

Obama’s appointing Anita Hill to the Supreme Court would be the sweetest sweetest most wonderful delicious awesomest thing ever in the history of the whole wide world.

Glenn Greenwald!

What about Bill Clinton? There is precedence (Taft)

And you don’t have to be a lawyer to be SCOTUS!

“What about Bill Clinton? There is precedence (Taft)”

I had my law license revoked, and was banned from practicing in front of the Supreme Court.

You know who’d really irritate the GOP?

Arlen Specter

Clinton said no such thing. You’re just making stuff up!!

And you needn’t be a lawyer, even, to serve on the Court.

Also, mom wants you to do your homework before you troll the lib’s.

Presuming that Anita Hill is the knife-twister that I am is kind of mean.

Just try to nominate Clinton.

Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Monicagate, the illegal fundraising from the Chinese, the foreign donations to his corrupt “foundation”, Jeff Sessions will bring it ALL up and school him on national TV.

Bubba’d be good too. There are just so many delectable choices that would make wingnut heads explode! [frisson of anticipation] I can hardly wait.

Jeff Sessions will bring it ALL up and school him on national TV.

Right up until the incriminating photographs of Sessions and that lil boy-toy of his were sent to his office, you mean.

Oh. I’m sorry. You didn’t know? 🙂

I kinda doubt that, Troofy, lest W and Cheney find themselves up for war crimes.

I mean Teh Clenis Bubba, not Righteous Bubba. Although RB would work too.

Do you all really want Jeff Sessions to call Paula Jones and Lewisnky to testify? I don’t think so.

Anyway, let’s get back to Anita Hill. Derailing troll is derailing.

Is it the imagination, or has the massive and unending amount of lunatic material from the right wing turned almost every liberal-leaning site into something that sounds a lot like Sadly No!?

Do you all really want Jeff Sessions to call Paula Jones and Lewisnky to testify? I don’t think so.

I would love it!

Imagine the hatred that would spew down on the Party of No for trotting THAT out again! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure. Bring it on.

Most people didn’t give a shit about that stuff to begin with (check the polls). It will just make Republicans look more pathetic than they already do.

What part of “you got your asses kicked” do you not grasp?

I think nominating Long Dong Silver would be sweet justice.

Right, MzN.

Imagine the deliberations when the first pornography case came before the SCOTUS with Justices Thomas and Hill…*snicker*

Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?

Re: Clinton (Bill). Why would he take the pay cut? There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands, of groups willing to pay him six figures for a speech, thanks to his enduring massive popularity among most of the world’s people.

Look how the liberals commitment to minorities and women just vanishes when the subject is Clarence Thomas or Paula Jones.

What part of “you got your asses kicked” do you not grasp?

Not to mention that no one in the whole fucking country cared about Clinton’s blow job except hate-crazed rabid Reptillians. So actually, yes! By all means they should stir that shit up again.

ME CHIEF JUSTICE.
ME PLAY JOKE.
ME PUT PUBE ON MY OWN COKE!

Imagine the deliberations when the first pornography case came before the SCOTUS with Justices Thomas and Hill…*snicker*

‘Twould be awesome. Particularly since Justice Thomas doesn’t open his mouth without Scalia’s hand up his ass.

“Not to mention that no one in the whole fucking country cared about Clinton’s blow job except hate-crazed rabid Reptillians.”

*ahem*

I think it hurt me quite a bit.

Christ, I’m a dense moron.

Hell, if we want wingnut head asplosions, why don’t we go all in?

I hereby nominate George Soros.

Can we somehow graft William Ayres and Jeremiah Wright together and nominate that?

Oh Al. You know we luv ya, big guy.

Speaking of vanishing…enjoy the killfile, numbnutz.

Hasn’t Kos a law degree too? What about Soros?

Look how the liberals commitment to minorities and women just vanishes when the subject is Clarence Thomas unqualified, far-right judges or Paula Jones. lying whores with no credibility.

ftfyngfya

Oh, horseshit. Clinton’s troubles didn’t derail Gore – the man was almost as wooden as Kerry, and the MSM played up Sociopath McBushy as a moderate.

And still Gore won the popular election. Only the Gang of Five made the Texas Turd President.

“Lying whore”? Isn’t that misogyny?

I think it hurt me quite a bit.

Only because you were cowed into running against Clinton.

And what were you thinking with that running mate?

ALL HAIL SOROS!!!

<i<Can we somehow graft William Ayres and Jeremiah Wright together and nominate that?

Obama should just increase the number of justices, like FDR tried to do. Once Sen. Franken is seated there’d be no stopping him.

Justice Chomsky?

“Lying whore”? Isn’t that misogyny?

In her case it’s merely descriptive.

Can I haz moonbat welfare $$$ now puhleeze?

Justice Chomsky?

Words cannot describe the awesomeness of that.

You really think she was lying about Clinton? Even after HE was shown to be the liar with Monica?

Just admit it, the guy is an immoral lying scumbag who screws anything that moves.

I say we start with Big Bubba, then, after all the wingnut head a’splosions, Anita Hill will seem like the compromise choice.

Play the strategic game, friends.

But of course if Gore had won, today a certain lieberman would be president.

Just admit it, the guy is an immoral lying scumbag who screws anything that moves.

Who the hell ever disputed that?

I’ll take that over a mass murderer any day of the week.

Yeah. I’m not sure which scares me more. that Palin was almost a heartbeat away, or Sleazebag Joe Fucking Lieberman.

Palin is an unknown quantity. She might have been alright. We know that Holy Joe is the worst kind of pol.

You and I are like simpatico today IM.

Did it suddenly get more 1993 in here, or is it just me?

Supreme Court Justice Hector Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho

This lovely FRC video is so broken I can’t figure out how to fix it.

Plus, I will oppose the candidacy of Righteous Bubba on account of he hates zombies. It’s True! He once said “Fuck You Zombie” to me on a blog!

In that one statement, he violated my right of free speech, freedom of religion, and my right to be dead.

Not to mention the implied threat to violate my corpse.

So it’s back to Clinton and Monica, then.

That should get you guys going.

Bernie Sanders. Let them complain about socialists for real, for once.

Look how the liberals commitment to minorities and women just vanishes when the subject is Clarence Thomas or Paula Jones.

Look, son, being a liberal doesn’t mean you think every minority or woman is totally and completely without sin. That’s just fucking stupid, and you show your lack of intellectual weight when you claim something like that is reality. Seriously, there’s plenty of reasons to loathe Clarence Thomas, being black doesn’t mean he gets a free pass on being a piss-poor Justice.

Think about it. If what you claim about liberals inre: minorities and women is true, then should you, a wingnut, really be condemning straight white men like Bill Clinton? You’re hurtin’ the cause, bro!

Bernie Sanders. Let them complain about socialists for real, for once.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Obama should just increase the number of justices, like FDR tried to do.

Swell plan, tovarisch! I look forward to our new Justices Hill, Clinton, Soros, Chomsky, Ayers-Wright, Dukakis, Sheehan and Moulitsas.

Have I mentioned how enjoyable the killfile is? It’s like a cool mist on a sweltering August day.

I support the nomination of Righteous Bubba because he once good-naturedly(?) cursed me in a blog post title.

Justice Chomsky?

Can one die of schadenfreugasms?

Not to mention the implied threat to violate my corpse.

I thought he was coming on to you.

Also Justice Killfile, yes.

Not to toot my own horn, but I have a law degree, Mr. President X.

Just for the hell of it, I nominate Jello Biafra to Supreme Court Justice.

I thought he was coming on to you.

Either way, I’m not cleaning it up.

then should you, a wingnut, really be condemning straight white men like Bill Clinton? You’re hurtin’ the cause, bro!

WIngnuts? STRAIGHT?

Monica was past the age of consent – that’s takes ‘straight’ off the table.

I support Justice Jello.

Clinton had sexual relations with Monica? Did they involve diapers, underage boys, gay hookers or wetsuits and dildos? They didn’t? Disgusting!!

Justice Henry Rollins. That would have the benefit of also pissing off The Fool.

Justice Chomsky?
What, Gnome Chomsky? Oh the gnominy.

Too bad Amiri Baraka is over 70. Otherwise that would be teh awesome.

“You and I are like simpatico today IM.”

Well the game, “let’s just imagine the biggest boogeyman of the right” leads to somewhat obvious proposals.

“Justice Jello” has a certain ring to it, verdad.

How about Justice Chelsea Clinton, then?

Justice Henry Rollins. That would have the benefit of also pissing off The Fool.

And Jello wouldn’t?

But I would love to see a Rollins/ Scalia throwdown.

I think the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Hillary Rodham Clinton would be even MORE amusing …

OH SHIT, or even Justice Roger Clinton??

Or, how about Justice Michael Moore?

LOL LOL LOL …

Justice Stapp.

You’re welcome for this episode of “Tonight’s Nightmare Fodder”

Hey, I think we could easily spread a rumor (via Pammy, perhaps) that Obama was going to nomnomnominate HIMSELF to be on the Supreme Court, then he’ll (step two) and then he’ll (profit)!

Can we nominate Jane Fonda?

Justice Martin Luther King III

Look, son, being a liberal doesn’t mean you think every minority or woman is totally and completely without sin.

This is rather apropos in light of all the idiot talk about Sonia Sotomayor. Basically, the entire right wing and MSM have decided that Obama’s consideration of her is because of “affirmative action.” You know, because liberals don’t care about anyone’s qualifications, only their skin color.

But as soon as a liberal criticizes the qualifications a woman or minority, which is exactly what the right wing is screaming for liberals to do, the wingnuts declare that liberal to be some kind of hypocrite.

They think they’ve got the perfect set up – heads they win, tails we lose. They’re such children. Either that, or they really are too stupid and deluded to see the inconsistency.

Justice Clinton Kelly.

Justice R. Kelly!

I got it! Justice Colbert!

The neocons would think they were agreeing with conservative policy when in reality it would be subtle but powerful liberal policy.

“They’re such children. Either that, or they really are too stupid and deluded to see the inconsistency.”

Not mutually exclusive propositions.

Justice Stapp.

All opinions would be read in a droning mid-tempo groan while receiving a blowjob from one of Associate Justice Kid Rock’s groupies.

Justice Penn?

Justice R. Crumb

Justice R. Kelly!

I LOL’d!

Except, isn’t he some kind of pederast? I think that disqualifies him from being a boogeyman to the GOP.

This is rather apropos in light of all the idiot talk about Sonia Sotomayor. Basically, the entire right wing and MSM have decided that Obama’s consideration of her is because of “affirmative action.” You know, because liberals don’t care about anyone’s qualifications, only their skin color.

My dark lord Atrios noted (quite correctly) that nobody in the history of the United States has received more affirmative action than white men. So, yes, it is time to stop affirmative action and let some other folks have a shot for a change.

My wife suggests Elizabeth Holtzman. I’m for it.

Justice Penn?

Only if Justice Teller is included in the deal.

Has Bork some liberal relative, preferably a twin brother or so?

Otherwise Anita Hill brings still the most poetic justice.

So, yes, it is time to stop affirmative action and let some other folks have a shot for a change.

I think GW Bush has been the number 1 recipient, if you consider that he was gifted with not only a completely underserved ivy league education, but also the Presidency.

Justice DeForest Kelley.

“Damn it Antonin, I’m a doctor, not a jurist.”

Now he’s both!

Seriously. Wild Bill was a powerful, wealthy Alpha-male-type straight white dude who even showed fealty to the proper religion. Brohaim was able to conduct the country’s business and eat a pizza while Ms. Lewinsky was doing what she was doing. And it’s not like the ’90s sucked. It’s not like he got a blowjob and then declared an illegal war to fatten his VP’s company’s bankroll and distract from the general piss-poor job his party’s incredibly incompetence on state, local and national levels when it came to running the country. I mean, we had a surplus when Big Bad Bill left office, plus he was pro-business to a sickening degree, and plus he more or less gave the finger to the DFH contingent of the Left (that is, everyone left of Richard Nixon, frankly).

The world loves the guy. That’s gotta be cool. Bush wakes up every morning, vomits up last night’s Old Charter, and realizes that because he let himself be used as the empty suit figurehead for a bunch of greedy, warmongering, Bible-thumping scum suckers, he’s considered the next worst guy in history down from Hitler. Furthermore, Clinton fooled around and his wife didn’t kill him. Fuckin’ Newt Gingrinch, Bob Barr, Henry Hyde, Bob Dole, is all I gotta say.

Clinton lost me with that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” bullshit, but you got to admit the man played the game like nobody’s business. Boggles my mind why so many guys who’d totally love to be Bill Clinton, even if just for a day – and you know you would, you little waterhead, you – gotta hate on the guy so. Man’s like Elvis, for cryin’ out loud. It’s gotta be jealousy, there’s no other excuse.

Orrin Hatch and I can read through your liberal code. Only Miguel Estrada will do!

Only if Justice Teller is included in the deal.

Touche!

Just wait, Jeff Sessions will initiate the beginning of the end of Obama’s popularity when he gets the Senate to filibuster his pick.

Only the GOP minions could be so stupid as to freely admit that their sole purpose is to be obstructionist douchebags.

“Just wait, Jeff Sessions will initiate the beginning of the end of Obama’s popularity when he gets the Senate to filibuster his pick.”

Oh come on; if you’re going to namesteal the troll, try and be convincing. Parody FAIL.

Seriously, Jeff Sessions is the GOP’s Great White Hope now?

It just gets sweeter and sweeter.

Bush wakes up every morning, vomits up last night’s Old Charter, and realizes that because he let himself be used as the empty suit figurehead for a bunch of greedy, warmongering, Bible-thumping scum suckers, he’s considered the next worst guy in history down from Hitler.

I’d agree, but there’s no way he’s this self-aware, even in his weakest moments.

GEORGE Clinton, dammit.

It’s time for a Funky Court Party.

Sessions was pre-emptively dissected by maddow last night, wasn’t he?

Yes, because nothing rivets the American public’s attention like a good ol’ Senate filibuster. I’m sure literally dozens of people will be glued to CSPAN-12 for that one.

GEORGE Clinton, dammit.

Win.

Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Monicagate, the illegal fundraising from the Chinese, the foreign donations to his corrupt “foundation”, Jeff Sessions will bring it ALL up and school him on national TV.

Yeah, remember when all that bullshit Arkansas Project stuff got brought up during Hillary’s confirmation?

Me neither.

Besides, CLENIS!!!11

Justice Jane Fonda

Can we somehow graft William Ayres and Jeremiah Wright together and nominate that?

Artist’s conception

Only Miguel Estrada will do!

How about Erik Estrada? He could use the work.

Jeff Sessions would do what to President Obama’s prick?

How about Erik Estrada? He could use the work.

Oh, it’s acceptable now to steal punchlines from Bloom County?

I can never keep up.

Justice Just–Ice.

Michelle Obama. (Ok, some little interest conflicts, but only for eight years)

Maybe Obama should just nominate Jeff Sessions. Now there’d be a gambit.

Justice Stapp.

All opinions would be read in a droning mid-tempo groan while receiving a blowjob from one of Associate Justice Kid Rock’s groupies.

FTW.

Oh, it’s acceptable now to steal punchlines from Bloom County?

Acceptable? It’s mandatory!

Just-Ice was one of my favorite rappers in the late 80’s.

I’m in.

How about Erik Estrada? He could use the work.

I know a while back he was doing some stuff on Cartoon Network (Sealab 2021), basically making fun of himself. That’d be a fun job.

Boggles my mind why so many guys who’d totally love to be Bill Clinton

I have to admit, even as someone who took Bill with a grain of salt since 1976, I was impressed when I found out he nailed Liz Ward (Miss America ’82). But only because I went to High School with her and kinda wanted to do that myself.

Justice Michael Steele? He’s gonna be out of work soon.

Yep. Rachel prepwned Jeff “Doncha be talkin’ like dat to white folk, boy” Sessions last night. As well, there’s a cornucopia of audio, video and print wherein he says that filiblustering is anti-American or some such.

I’m going to go with Justice Alec Baldwin. Just for the giggles.

Justice Kos.

Maybe Obama should just nominate Jeff Sessions.

But demand Sessions become a black woman first.

That was pretty, LittlePig.

Off topic, but here’s good news for anyone with a Chix with Halberds fetish.

What? I gotta be the first person to go with the nuclear option? Clearly Ward Churchill is the only man for the job.

Clearly Ward Churchill is the only man for the job.

We’re not worthy!

Anita Hill would be awesome. All the other suggestions are good, too, except for Chomsky. Please, no Chomsky. I’ve hated him for 40 years. Not because of his political opinions, because I hated him long before I knew he had any political opinions, just because of his total destruction of the science of linguistics.

It’s as if the head of the IPCC was a flat-earth global-warming denier.

Angela Davis would be good, if she’d get back her ‘fro and hold an AK-47 during her confirmation hearings. (What are you looking at? It’s for hunting!)

Jimmy Carter is available. a bit old though..

It’s as if the head of the IPCC was a flat-earth global-warming denier.

Isn’t the head of the IPCC a weasel?

“What? I gotta be the first person to go with the nuclear option? Clearly Ward Churchill is the only man for the job.”

Fine, but…

there is your muslim angle?

So: Louis Farrakhan! Black and muslim!

Justice Glenn Greenwald kinda rolls off the tongue.

I know Al Franken is just a white guy, but nominating him would sure piss off all the right people.

This is too easy.

Isn’t the head of the IPCC a weasel?

Why yes, yes he is. Thanks for the reminder, BBBB.

Justice Hugo Chavez

Justice Mumia Abu-Jamal

Justice Mumia Abu-Jamal

It was only a matter of time.

Justice Glenn Greenwald kinda rolls off the tongue.

Isn’t David Neiwert a lawyer and into that lawy kind of stuff too?

I gnominate am all for dressing a full-length mirror in robes and calling it ‘Justice Just-Us’.
It was good enough for Time, after all.

Justice Jonah Goldberg!

Earlier I had suggested Assata Shakur, and I would add that she will serve as a U.S. Supreme Court Justice by videoconferencing from her self-exile in Cuba.

Isn’t David Neiwert a lawyer and into that lawy kind of stuff too?

No. One of Neiwert’s weaknesses is his relatively poor grasp of legal stuff, relative to how sharp he is in other ways.

No. One of Neiwert’s weaknesses is his relatively poor grasp of legal stuff, relative to how sharp he is in other ways.

I think I kind of get him and Greenwald mixed up sometimes. Maybe that’s what I was thinking.

In any case, he’d piss off the conservatives, and that’s all that matters.

There’s no way he’s this self-aware, even in his weakest moments.

That’s why he drinks, to keep the self-awareness to a minimum.

If I thought high enough of right-wingers to believe they could comprehend ideological whiplash, I’d tell Obama to nominate Rush Limbaugh so all of his people would fucking abandon him as tainted, and then we could maybe have the country back from the psychotic rump party he leads.

But they’d just cross a wire and think Ronald Reagan grandfathered Rush in, so clearly this would be a victory for them.
Also, I wish @ would stay fucking killfiled. It’s annoying.

Please, no Chomsky. I’ve hated him for 40 years. Not because of his political opinions, because I hated him long before I knew he had any political opinions, just because of his total destruction of the science of linguistics.

Thanks. I brushed up against some of his ideas in college and thought they were ridiculous. They’re based on, IIRC, built-in “language receptors” of unknown location and function.

I was dismayed to learn that his ideas are now as mainstream in linguistics as evolution is in biology. Or I would be, if I gave a shit about linguistics.

I believe Chomsky, like a good scientist, thinks he was wrong.

If the Chomsky trash-talk session is underway, there’s this:
The Myth of Language Universals: Language diversity and its importance for
cognitive science.
(recent review by Evans and Levinson).

My current screen name is kill-file proof! Deal with it.

his ideas are now as mainstream in linguistics as evolution is in biology
His (earlier) ideas might well be mainstream in linguistics textbooks, but linguists (per se) seem to disagree.

There’s no way he’s this self-aware, even in his weakest moments.

See, I wonder. I’ve heard tell that during his run for a U.S. Represenative seat for Texas, Bush was beat ’cause he was seen as an elitist smarty-pants, and not a rootin’ tootin’ Texan. Also, I’ve heard his governor’s race debates with Ann Richards were solid stuff, and she was a tough cookie. I think he realized he was destined to be either Jeb’s or Neil’s Billy Carter and gave into the role. Then Neil turned out to be a twisted fucker, and God knows what skeletons Jeb must be hiding in his closet, and The Little King found himself on the fast track to the presidency. Sure, he knew it was just a figurehead job, like Reagan, and all he’d have to do was smile, wave and gibber whatever bullshit put in front of him. Hell, it wouldn’t be too much different than his job with the Rangers, and that job kicked ass.

And then 9/11 happened and that sociopathic scumsucker Cheney decided all the Ay-rabs must die for the sin of being born over our oil. Not too much longer and all those Bible-thumping loons called their marks, and we actually had a national debate over whether or not we should change the fucking Constitution to deny certain citizens certain rights. And the Gunatanamo, where we told the world “Yes, we torture, but it’s only okay when we do it ’cause we said so.” And the Katrina. And so on. And so forth.

So, after horking up all the cheap whiskey the bastard has to swill to drown the screams of the dead and cries of the mothers and moans of the wounded and maimed, he has a moment of clarity: I fucked up. And then he starts drinking again.

Chomsky: “Truly intelligent people can’t stand the boredom of learning a lot of new words. Therefore you can learn all you want to know about how language works by analyzing English more and more closely.”

I am well known for sleeping during almost all oral arguments before the court.

Come to the SCOTUS! You yourself can watch me sleep – and not ask a question. The last time I asked a question was some time in 1997. All the other justices ask between 3 and 25 questions during oral arguments.

I’m too busy sleeping. It’s refreshing not worrying about the case, since I just ask Fat Tony what I should do.

I feel asleep during a meeting about consumer protection. Your government at work!

Thomas is going to be on the Court for a good, loooooooooooooooooooooong time, liberals. He’s still young. And he’ll follow some of you to your graves. Must piss you off.

I think we should free Mumia AND appoint him to the Supreme Court.

Aw, damn. BBB beat me to it.

How about Larry Flynt?

Thanks. I brushed up against some of his ideas in college and thought they were ridiculous. They’re based on, IIRC, built-in “language receptors” of unknown location and function.

I was dismayed to learn that his ideas are now as mainstream in linguistics as evolution is in biology. Or I would be, if I gave a shit about linguistics.

So, you didn’t give a shit about linguistics, but you were pretty sure that his ideas were “ridiculous”, never mind the fact that however weak his answers that no one else seems to have done very well explaining the basics of human language function and acquisition? And his work, however flawed, actually seemed to help scientists begin to try and answer those basic questions — following traditions beginning with that fucktard Rene Descartes?

Man, that’s one keen skientiffick mind.

Chomsky, 1980:

I have not hesitated to propose a general principle of linguistic structure on the basis of observation of a single language.

But if Chomsky has changed his views since then, I will confine myself to hating on Pinker.

I have not hesitated to propose a general principle of linguistic structure on the basis of observation of a single language.

There’s nothing illogical about that. Chomsky’s interest then, as now, is on the human side of the equation — not the language side. To a degree, it simply doesn’t matter what the language is or is like when you are trying to explain the innate human capacity of a human child to learn a language, any language, simply by being exposed to it.

This doesn’t explain why Pinker’s a douche, and I haven’t been able to do that myself.

Must piss you off.

If that’s what you life your life for, if that’s what you crave, the knowledge you’ve left other people “pissed off”, I hope you are quite successful at it, and enjoy that bitter bitter pleasure for a long time.

SC, you hate him for something he said in 1980? Man, you are HARSH.

Must piss you off.

Actually, given the clown’s general incompetence and crony attitude and just overall uselessness as a legal figure, yeah, it sorta does. Granted, he wasn’t placed on the court to help anyone but the string pullers behind the current crud of GOP, so he’s doing what he’s supposed to. The Supreme Court is an important position and a guy who’d make a shitty community college teacher has no business on the bench, no matter how much he kisses Tony Scalia’s butt.

I look forward to being ranked in the worst 10% of all Supreme Court justices after I die.

Us conservative non-thinkers are so persecuted for doing a shitty job. It’s not fair – we’re doing as good a job as the average brainless idiot republican can do!

If Chomsky is correct, and all languages share a common “deep structure,” that takes all interest out of the study of language for me. And meanwhile, since his school became ascendant in the 50s, hundreds of languages have become extinct without ever being described adequately.

The fieldwork that people did in the early 20th century (before Chomsky) was absolutely phenomenal, but now it’s a lost art. The incredible number of different ways that languages can perform the same function, or the incredible number of different functions languages can perform, that the speakers of other languages can’t even get their brains around, was really telling us something about how the human mind works. Chomsky’s imaginary “language organ?” Not so much.

We will never even know the genetic relationships of a lot of the languages that have died out on the Chomskians’ watch, but that’s OK, because historical linguistics is dead, any way.

Sorry, we struck pet peeve.

So, you didn’t give a shit about linguistics, but you were pretty sure that his ideas were “ridiculous”, never mind the fact that however weak his answers that no one else seems to have done very well explaining the basics of human language function and acquisition?

My next-door neighbor has a theory of alchemy. No matter how weak his answers are, no one else seems to have done very well turning lead into gold, so how do I know he’s not right?

Shorter Matt T.:

I hate Clarence Thomas because he applies the Constitution as it is plainly written, instead of legislating from the bench.

Also, I wish @ would stay fucking killfiled. It’s annoying.

I haven’t noticed; after his first post, he’s been chowing down on pie. Li’l fucker LOVES it!

We need someone of impeccable legal credentials who would also not hesitate to twist the knife because s/he knows what happens when you give the murderous rightists an opening.

Enough humor. The best name I can come up with really would induce nuclear-scale exploding heads on the right.

Justice David Boies.

I hate Clarence Thomas because he applies the Constitution as it is plainly written, instead of legislating from the bench.

HA HA! That’s a good one! I don’t even know what the Constitution says! HA HA!

Liberals think I’m an unqualified black man in over his head, but they’re confusing me with Barack Obama.

Sweet cheeks, you can’t even spell your own damn name.

Liberals think I’m an unqualified black man in over his head, but they’re confusing me with Barack Obama.

Calrence, take me away!

My next-door neighbor has a theory of alchemy. No matter how weak his answers are, no one else seems to have done very well turning lead into gold, so how do I know he’s not right?

This may be the dumbest discussion of human language I’ve encountered in years. And I don’t work alongside scholars.

This may be the dumbest discussion of human language I’ve encountered in years. And I don’t work alongside scholars.

I agree. Let’s un-derail (re-rail?) the thread, shall we?

Say what you will about Chomsky’s theories on psychology and human language, but his contributions to the mathematical side of linguistics paved the way for computer programming languages and compilers as they exist today.

But I have to support Jello Biafra. What could be more appropriate now than making businessmen wear clown suits?

Justice Ralph Nader. It would be perfect – no one could disagree with him, he would actually be able to put some of his ideas out there to do some good, he wouldn’t need lunatic Greens to form a real political base, AND he’d shut up about wanting to be president every 4 years.

And Republicans would be apoleptic!

Except then D.N. Nation would freak the fuck out and become a militia member.

What about that “American Taliban” doofus John Walker Lindh?

Oooh. Or why not simply go with what the righties think is happening anyway — nominate Osama bin Laden.

He can issue his rulings by video and audio cassette.

Justice Chthulhu.

Go for the religious vote.

Or why not simply go with what the righties think is happening anyway — nominate Osama bin Laden.

They’ve all forgotten who he is.

Justice Zombie Tupac!

The sleeper bet is Janet Napolitano. She represented Anita Hill. She’s very well qualified.

I relish the thought of Anita Hill being nominated as much as anyone, but what really gets me off is the thought of Justice Albert Gore. One can dream.

Damn, someone beat me to Justice Nader.

Oh well, here are the rest of my ideas of varying merit and humor:

Justice Howard Zinn

Justice Eddie Izzard (screw you, I don’t care that he’s English)

Justice The Exhumed Corpse of George Carlin

Justice Graeme Frost

Justice Malia Obama

Justice Dennis Perrin

But all of that pales before the one we really need:

Justice Michael Schiavo.

I think Chomsky has backed away from his ideas about “deep structure,” for what it’s worth. Granted, if you don’t keep up with linguistics, you probably wouldn’t know that. Still, he was the first person to separate signifieds from signifiers, and abstract language into universals. That Saussurian mimesis bullshit is, well, bullshit; otherwise we’d all speak the same language, and onomatopoeic words would be the same everywhere, which doesn’t explain why Hebrew doorbells go tiftuf instead of ding dong, frinstance.

Also, I think this quote “Truly intelligent people can’t stand the boredom of learning a lot of new words. Therefore you can learn all you want to know about how language works by analyzing English more and more closely.” is probably a fabrication, given that he speaks several languages himself, and not just closely-related ones, either. (He’s got a couple of language isolates in there that I know of.)

I’m not sure I’d put him on the Supreme Court, except that his dissents would make my pink bits feel funny. If any of you have ever read that paper where Chomsky disassembles B. F. Skinner into his asinine little behaviourist component parts, all in this carefully-couched academic diction that doesn’t have a hair out of place, you’ll know what I mean. 🙂

Justice Zombie Tupac!

FTW!

OK, I have one last suggestion. Pardon me, but I have to admit, it freaks out even me.

Justice Ronald Reagan Jr.

Think about it: he’s gay, liberal, and it would absolutely make the right wing throw hissyfits that they’d have to tear into their idol in order to take RR,Jr down a peg.

Think of the fun possibilities with Justice Paris Hilton. If celebrities can be President, why not? Everyone in America would be tuning in to hear her take on all future SC decisions. Also fun to see which geezer tries to stand behind her within bone distance in the Court photo.

Oh, hell, I’ll throw some in: Justice Gloria Steinem. Or Justice Barney Frank.

Justice Wapner.

Now which politician do we bribe to nominate Anita Hill?

We would have to agree to guarantee her salary for life and we could get a decent supreme court justice while the catholic supreme court gets a true liberal.

I do not think that Anita Hill was a liberal. I have always thought that she was simply honest. But if we could get her to “draw fire” for two weeks, Barney Frank would be a shoo in.