XTREME Wingnut Preach-Off 4!!!

In the previous round of XTREME Wingnut Preach-Off, Jim Rutz pulled off the upset of the year and knocked Pastor Swank off his perch as the wingnuttiest preacher on the Internets. This week, Rutz will have to defend his crown against an old foe, the Rev. Mark H. Creech.


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Let’s start with our defending champ, whose column this week is about (what else?) the eeeeeevils of political correctness:

PC is on the march, gobbling up every decent value and belief in its mindless path. It has no god, but it invents sacred cows by the thousands. It has no scriptures, but it controls and censors almost every newspaper.

It’s true. Political correctness is the #1 reason why the New York Times won’t print Pastor Swank’s thoughtful essays about the dangers of homo nups.

It has no serious, cohesive logic, but it compensates with a hilarious swarm of high-sounding emotions. It has no holy land but Holywood, and no holy temples except college classrooms.

Wow! With powerful allies like Hollywood actors and college professors, I don’t see how political correctness will ever be defeated. Sure, the Republicans control the entire federal government and the military, but only a fool believes that the United States armed forces can stand up to the combined might of Ward Churchill and Susan Sarandon.

PC replaces dorm-room debates with demonstrations, face-to-face discussions with lawsuits, and traditional give-and-take with hostilities and corporate policy manuals. (In the peaceful ’50s, for instance, a man who made a move on a woman in the company elevator would be rewarded with a swift kick in the shins.

Unless the man happened to be her boss, in which case she’d have to sit there and take it.

In PC Land, differences among people (and especially among groups) are not to be discussed. The biggest problem with that is that any national economy based on activities more complex than hunting and gathering absolutely requires a division of labor, which is based on individually determined specialization … which is typically based on concrete differences in talent, preference and training. In the blind rush toward PC equality, thousands of laws are written to keep any intelligent differentiation to a minimum.

Yes, this lack of differentiation is the reason why no-talent wingers like Jim Rutz get hired to write regularly for the Washington Post, while seasoned scribes like E.J. Dionne get stuck at third-rate websites like WorldNetDaily or Sadly, No!

In the good old USA, we celebrated diversity. That phrase is now just code for the idea that we should be happy to have millions of wrecked, fatherless families producing legions of very un-gay homosexuals spreading AIDS.

Fatherless families cause homosexuality? Who knew?

In PC Land, everybody is pitted against everybody else, and if you’re accused of something, you’re probably guilty.

But, but, but… how can everybody be pitted against each other when “differences among people (and especially among groups) are not to be discussed?”

It’s bad PC manners to discuss the persistent differences among races and ethnic groups. We’re all supposed to be the same now.

I.e., fatherless and gay.

OK, so that was Jim Rutz. Now let’s see if the Rev. Mark Creech is wingnutty enough to bring him down:

In defense of Pat Robertson

Rev. Mark H. Creech
November 17, 2005

The news media reported it widely.

Damn that news media! Why are they always reporting stuff (widely, no less!)?

On a recent broadcast of the Christian Broadcasting Network’s 700 Club, Pat Robertson strongly rebuked the citizenry of Dover, Pennsylvania for voting out eight public school board members that favored the teaching of intelligent design. Robertson said, “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover. If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God; you just rejected Him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for His help because he might not be there.”

I know what you’re thinking: “He’s not going to actually defend Robertson for telling an entire town that God would completely abandon them during natural disasters, is he?”

Oh yes he is:

Granted, Robertson’s statement was strong. And certainly Robertson’s previous statement suggesting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez be assassinated was unjustifiable.

I agree. Calling for someone’s assassination is way over the line, but proclaiming that God will smite an entire town because they rejected creationism is perfectly reasonable.

But I can’t understand all the hoopla about this most recent statement. It may have been articulated better; nevertheless the truth of the comment stands. Robertson was right in his explanation suggesting: “God is tolerant and loving, but we can’t keep sticking our finger in his eye forever. If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them.”

Indeed. What has modern biology done for us, other than cure diseases and save lives?

The public would do well to consider what Dover, Pennsylvania actually did. By their vote at the ballot box, the city made it clear that they didn’t want even the slightest hint that God may have created the natural world interjected into the Dover school system’s science curriculum.

Man, they didn’t want their town to become a theocracy? What ever were they thinking?

The teaching of intelligent design is neither faith-based, nor does it put religion in the classroom as its critics have suggested.

Except that it suggests a higher power (a.k.a., God) created the world.

Still, the citizens of Dover would have none of it. Nothing that might even suggest God, the Bible, or faith should be allowed, they said. Never mind intelligent design wasn’t meant to do that; we just don’t want any possibility God could be a factor in our origins insinuated to our children via the science curriculum of our public schools. Though it takes more faith to believe in the Darwinian evolutionary theory of the universe’s origins than it does to propose there could be an intelligent designer behind it all, we opt to listen only to the secular, scientific priests of our day and worship at the altar of naturalistic evolutionary orthodoxy.

No kidding. I can’t believe we actually let scientists decide what consitutes science.

Some people, for different reasons, may view Pat Robertson with a little more than suspicion. But he is still God’s man, whatever one’s perception, and his warning to Dover, Pennsylvania is worth heeding: God is not obligated to be there for you when you run roughshod over even the possibility of an allusion to Him as your Creator. You can’t trample on the rights of your Creator God and then expect Him to be around when you need Him the most.

That statement shouldn’t simply be marginalized as a wild and outlandish remark by the sometimes colorful and controversial televangelist, Pat Robertson. That’s genuinely a message from God, which is not only for Dover, Pennsylvania, but also for the world.

Which begs raises* the question of why God didn’t destroy all non-Christian countries years ago.

OK, those are our two contestants this week. Now it’s your turn t…

Wait a minute, what’s this? There’s a new mystery challenger entering the ring! The crowd is going wild! They may not know the masked man’s name, but they’re still chanting “Stran-ger, stran-ger!”

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The Mystery Fighter puts on his gloves and looks ready to kick some ass with this column about zombie womb babies:

ABORTED BABIES LIVE
By X. Xxxxx Xxxxx, Xx.

The botched abortion yielded a real live baby. So does that mean that the fetus was all along a child? Apparently.

Well, Pastor Sw… uhm, I mean, Mystery Fighter, the vast majority of abortions occur during the first trimester. So if a botched abortion occurred during the ninth week of a pregnancy, I tend to doubt it’d look much like a real, live womb baby.

Therefore, the botched abortion which yielded a real live baby means that the humans botching the murder attempt could be legally held responsible for committing infanticide.

I don’t think I could write a sentence this random if I swallowed a can of alphabet soup and snorted it out of my nose.

Consequently, the US Democrat Party harbors a huge number of criminals. National Organization for Women does the same. And so does Planned Parenthood. Secular feminists are in that league as well.

We stand aghast at the rape-and-murder series of Saddam Hussein. We are stunned at the scores of Iraqi citizens he had caged or tortured or killed. Yet we in America tolerate Bill and Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Jimmy Carter, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and team who are likewise criminals. They endorse killing. They make it public. They address audiences in the land of the free stating their forthright support for slaying children in wombs.

Hey Mystery Fighter, y’know who else endorses killing? 61% of the American public.

Yet they can run for office in a republic. They can walk freely in the streets without being arrested, then imprisoned. They are entertained lavishly wherever they go.

Most likely by clowns who ride unicycles while juggling the bloody carcasses of womb babies.

And so Creator God weeps. And so do the defenders of the womb babies.

And so do the Mystery Fighter’s high school English teachers.

OK folks, there are your three contestants. Who deserves the title of Wingnuttiest Preacher on the Internets? Jim Rutz, Mark Creech, or our man of mystery?

*Thanks tigrismus for pointing out this error. Reading Swank hurts my ability to write sometimes.

 

Comments: 61

 
 
 

I have a crush Rev. Mark H. Creech. I’m thinking about his nipples right now.

 
 

Dear sweet womb baby Jesus… You want us to choose between those? I don’t know… they’re all so… XTREME!!

 
 

Though it takes more faith to believe in the Darwinian evolutionary theory of the universe’s origins than it does to propose there could be an intelligent designer behind it all
Excuse me, the universe? Did I miss the section of
Origin of Species where Darwin discusses the Big Bang and high-energy cosmology?
“Science” is just one big bogeyman to these fucktards, I guess.

 
 

Looks like I missed a close tag. Curses.

 
 

You know, for a guy who’s supposedly all powerful, God does a lot of weeping. When he mentioned weeping, I thought maybe “The Stranger” might be Bill O’Reilly, but there was no mention of the baby Jesus.
I do believe the mysterious womb baby fellow has a certain ‘something'(probably unmedicated) that puts him over the top though.

 
 

Mystery Swank, er, Mystery Writer in a sweep. Not even close. I suspect this contest was fixed….

 
 

Major props to Rev. Creech! Let me see if I can follow his, um, “argument”.

1. Robertson said that Dover voted god out of the city. Creech agrees, they don’t want the slightest hint of god in their classrooms.

2. Intelligent design is “neither faith-based, nor does it put religion in the classroom”

Ub. Wubba wubba. Buh, but, if they voted down intelligent design, which by your argument has nothing to do with religion, how exactly does that reject god from Dover? Its a mystery, a mystery, I tells ya!

Excellent job, a totally self contained refutation of his own argument which is completely independent of whether or not you agree with him! Bravo!

 
 

I have to say that Rutz comes off fairly normal here. Well, allright. Not ‘normal’, but rather ‘merely a slavering swivel-eyed batshit insane Republican’ or (apologies for the redundancy) simply ‘Republican’. Entertaining enough in its way, but sorry, it just didn’t have enough of that sweet, sweet wingnutty goodness. Creech wiped the floor with him, and I was sure he’d win the round.

But then that guy in the Mexican wrestler’s mask stepped into the ring, and it was Creech who tasted the canvas. Holy cow, who is that mystery wingnut?

 
 

This was like Michael Jordan playing a game of pick-up against Estelle Getty and Blair’s cousin Jeri. No contest.

Mystery Writer!

 
 

I really think these wingers should just drop the “womb-babies” term. There’s something about the word that just creeps me out.
If I were a woman, and a doctor told me I had a womb-baby inside me, I’d recoil in horror and say “get it the fuck out of me!”

 
 

The Stranger wins.
Who is that masked mystery fighting stranger?

 
 

I’m a little taken aback by the entry of the masked stranger. Couldn’t you let Mr. Rutz have the title for a little while longer? To use a boxing analogy, his defeat of the good Rev. Swank was Buster Douglas beating Mike Tyson or Leon Spinks beating Ali. Couldn’t he have fattened up on the preacher equivalent of Gerry Cooney before facing a rematch with the fearsome Swankster?

 
 

Who is that masked mystery fighting stranger?

His name will be revealed if he wins the round.

Here’s a hint, though: he’s a regular feature here at S,N! and I used MS Paint to cover his face. It’s shocking, I know. I hope I didn’t give too much away.

 
 

Couldn’t he have fattened up on the preacher equivalent of Gerry Cooney before facing a rematch with the fearsome Swankster?

Yeah, well, when I saw the column about zombie womb babies, I just couldn’t resist. Because, honestly, it was really fuckin’ funny.

 
 

Rutz by a mile. It’s not so much what he says, but what he so obviously wants to say but can’t: “Know your place, negroes!” Most wingnutty of all was that wistful reminiscence of the fifties, when a black woman who responded to a white man’s advances as he suggests would have been thrown in jail at best. Assuming she was even allowed to use the same lift in the first place.

That said, Creech almost won me over with this line: “Though it takes more faith to believe in the Darwinian evolutionary theory of the universe’s origins…”. Yes indeed. It takes a lot of faith to believe in Darwin’s inflationary big bang model. His string theory is pretty far out too.

 
 

Creech, if only for the line:

You can’t trample on the rights of your Creator God and then expect Him to be around when you need Him the most.
Seriously, you’d think that God being omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent would be able to prevent his rights from being trampled, but apparently he can be overcome by a single town.

 
 

“Defenders of the Womb Babies”, or DOWB, an ultra-super-duper secret elite fighting force that will ensure, once and for all, there will be no more Creator God Weeping International.

The double underhook suplex is what won the fight for Mystery Sw..Writer.

 
 

Womb babies…are they anything like Sugar Babies? Because I really like those, especially at the movies…

 
 

Wow, this is tough. On the one hand you have Creech, who says, “The teaching of intelligent design is neither faith-based, nor does it put religion in the classroom as its critics have suggested,” which as Major Woody pointed out kind of undermines the whole assertion that they voted god out of town. Pretty strong self-contradicting wingnuttery there; gonna be hard to beat. Then along comes Sw…Mystery Guest, giving it his best shot with, “Therefore, the botched abortion which yielded a real live baby means that the humans botching the murder attempt could be legally held responsible for committing infanticide.” Um, Rev, I mean, Mys, if the baby lived where does the infanticide come in?

Seriously, these guys aren’t real, are they? They’re all just later incarnations of Stanton Carlisle, aren’t they?

 
 

Mystery Stranger by a mile. But I still have to give props to Rev. Creech for this piece of hilarity:

Some people, for different reasons, may view Pat Robertson with a little more than suspicion. But he is still God’s man,

So, one can call for the murder of a lawfully elected foreign head of state AND wish destruction on an entire American city, all on live teevee and still you are God’s man. What do you have to do to stop being God’s man? Kill womb babies or something?

 
 

Here’s what I was gonna say:

Rutz takes it this week, because, as in his prior championship match, he managed to fixate on an entirely irrelevant concept — political correctness — and suck an entire column’s worth of verbiage out of it. Creech was good, but his topic is actually kinda topical, which costs him a tenth of a point — and the victory. But it was close,l and Rutz will need to learn a new trick or two if he expects to keep his title.

But then I read the Mystery Wingnut’s entry, and Rutz…. Well, let’s just say that there is dust, and it is being eaten, and the eater is Rutz.

Welcome back to the top, Mystery Man of Mystery!

 
Professor Illuminata
 

Here’s my favorite part of Rutz’s column:
Bottom Line: Come Judgment Day, God will have no basis for saying that one person is any better than another. We’re all just equally unfortunate victims of a repressive (patriarchal capitalist Christian) society.

Was that supposed to be ironic? If so, is he really saying that, come Judgement Day, God will have a basis for saying that one person is better than another, and that basis will be in some way linked to being able to tell Pollack jokes and call people retards, hicks and runts with impunity? In other words, God’s gonna bless all the normal (i.e. white male Christian) people and so we might as well “discuss the persistent differences among races and ethnic groups” and start God’s holy sorting work here on Earth? That level of wingnuttery’s GOTTA be worth some points!

 
 

I’m strongly compelled by the man of mystery, but my vote goes to Creech. However, perhaps the stranger can get another shot next time against Creech? Better consolation prize than Rice-a-Roni or Turtle Wax any day.

 
 

Oh yeah, the God’s rights thing. That was way nutty:

“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all Christian deities have existed for all time equal, that they are endowed by themselves with certain unalienable rights, that among these are eternal life, omnipotence and fucking about with mortals. That to secure these rights, school boards are instituted among white men, deriving their just powers from the Old Testament. That whenever a town’s voters become destructive of those ends, it is the right of the deities to alter or abolish it.”

 
 

“You know, for a guy who’s supposedly all powerful, God does a lot of weeping.”

Must be PMS…God sure is a bitch.

 
 

By their vote at the ballot box, the city made it clear that they didn’t want even the slightest hint that God may have created the natural world interjected into the Dover school system’s science curriculum.

I can almost hear him clucking at this point, and almost see his hand moving to clutch the strand of pearls around his neck. But mystery guest pulls ahead and wins it by several lengths, every mangled sentence a nightmare of incoherence and illogic.

does that mean that the fetus was all along a child? Apparently.

He’s also going to build a house completely out of acorns. Or maybe a church, so God will stop crying.

 
 

And shtop that, it doesn’t beg the question, it raises it. Nnngah!

 
 

but the last preachoff declared that swank won….

i don’t know if i can trust you guys anymore. my world is crumbling all around me.

hold me, reverend swank….

 
 

Clearly, Pat Robertson himself wins the day. God told him so, and then Pat told me. Also, stop coveting his granddaughter, or he might have to ‘intervene’.

 
 

Rather than vote on which preacher is wingnuttier, I was forced to fall on my knees and worship the God of white people; the God whose rights are violated every time the scientic method is taught in science class; the God of the living dead womb babies. And now I don’t feel so good . . .

 
 

In PC Land, differences among people (and especially among groups) are not to be discussed….In the blind rush toward PC equality, thousands of laws are written to keep any intelligent differentiation to a minimum.

Oops, you’re racist! So, does Rutz get extra points for that?

 
 

I know this is a Preach-Off, but occasionally…every once in a while, every century or so….someone comes along who’s got that style, who’s got all the moves…so that even if he/she/it ain’t really a preacher, you just have to let ’em put on the gloves and slip into the ring. I’m talking about THIS:
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2005/11/i_leave_shreds_.html

 
 

Creech in a split decision. Mystery Fighter came on strong in the closing rounds but Creech had already demolished Rutz and bloodied Mystery Fighter’s asschin by that time.

The “By rejecting God in the form of Intelligent Design, !which most certainly has nothing to do with God and religion!, Dover has called down God’s wrath or at least impelled Him to look the other way when secular armageddon comes down upon their heads” excuse for an argument proved unstoppable this week.

Tune in next week when Ric Flair pounds Creech’s head through the hood of Pastor Sw…Mystery Fighter’s 1989 DeVille. Wooo!

 
 

You need an appropriate themesong for Preacherfest 05, something like “Eye of the Tiger” crossed with the Spike Jones version of “Coctails for Two”.

Oh, and taking Womb Babies a step backward, I’m waiting for the first mention of Scrotum Babies, every sperm being sacred and all.

 
 

I think we decided to call them Ball Babies, Ortho Bob, because it made everyone, and I do mean everyone, in the focus groups start lactating, which we took as a sign of blessing from the Intelligent Designer *wink wink*

 
 

Creech is pissed because he can’t call down fire from heaven to fry all those godless freaks in dover.

Rutz is a neanderthal. Note the sloping forehead and dullard eyes. He’d probably make a good boy scout leader or catholic priest. Winner by a nose.

 
 

Yeeick, I’ve still got sticky little pieces of God’s eyeball under my fingernail from the last time I poked him, it was over that birth defects thing he still seems to get some kind of sick pleasure from giving out.

 
 

You’ve all made excellent points, and I particularly liked the self-refuting ID Isn’t About God And God Is Pissed You Don’t Like It argument, but I can’t help it. My heart belongs to the zombie womb babies.

Which was also pretty self-refuting. Mystery Wingnut, even pretending you’re sane, if the womb baby survived the infanticide, then no-one can be charged with infanticide, since it, you know, didn’t happen.

There’s, I suppose, attempted womb-baby-infanticide, but in the immortal words of Sideshow Bob, “Attempted murder, I ask you. Do they give out a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?”

 
 

“Therefore, the botched abortion which yielded a real live baby means that the humans botching the murder attempt could be legally held responsible for committing infanticide.”

Someone who botches an abortion, meaning the womb-baby lives, cannot be liable for infanticide, because infancticide requires a dead infant. It is only successful abortion of womb babies that could be infanticide.

 
 

D’oh, I was beaten to the punch by D.Sidhe, really should read the whole thread before posting. D. Sidhe even included a relevant Simpsons quote. I also forgot to vote, and I have to go with Pastor Sw. . ., I mean Mystery Writer.

 
 

After many hours of hard thinking [and reading “Fundies Say the Darndest Things!”], I’ve decided to go with the International Man of Mystery. I’ve been saying “womb baby” every chance I’ve had today, and that’s a clear sign his column was nuttiest.

Scrotum Babies! Will there be Zombie Ball Babies when one makes love to one’s hand?

 
 

“Womb baby, womb baby, there on the sand…

From July to the end of September…”

 
 

Tough choice, but I’ll go with the Mystery Fighter. I like the touch of entering the ring luchadore style.

 
 

My head is spinning trying to figure out who won. Creech. . . Mystery Swank. . . Rutz. . . Creech. . . Ditka. . .

What with the interference and all, I think there’s only one fair way to settle this. Next week, for the gold, an official Creech/Putz/Swank three-way.

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

 
 

in the immortal words of Sideshow Bob, “Attempted murder, I ask you. Do they give out a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?”

Ironically, they give out Nobel Prizes only for attempted peace.

{Exeunt, singing “I’ll meet you at the Zombie Baby Ball.

 
 

Mystery Swank’s argument seems to be that some fetuses are viable outside the womb which means they’re human beings. Therefore all abortion is murder.

Makes sense to me. Let’s take that logic out for a spin. Some animals belong to the species, homo sapiens. Therefore the killing of any animal is murder. Some food is meat, which comes from murdered animals. Therefore, anyone who eats is an accessory to murder. Hey, it works! Now all we have to do is make eating a capital offense, and abortion will soon be a thing of the past.

 
 

Most wingnutty of all was that wistful reminiscence of the fifties, when a black woman who responded to a white man’s advances as he suggests would have been thrown in jail at best. Assuming she was even allowed to use the same lift in the first place.

D’you reckon he’s the strain of wingnut who would call YOU racist for pointing out that racism exists, or has he not advanced that far? That’s my favorite wingnut mutation, aside from those who level accusations of anti-Semitism at the left.

 
 

Rutz got some nice things going for him, the racism, the misogyny, the gay-bashing, longing for the Glorious Days of Yore, where a man could grope his property, I mean secretary, without risking frivolous lawsuits. Coming out strong against Hollywood, Political Correctness and Fatherless Gay Aids-toting Commies, Rutz serves vintage wingnuttery of the old and trusty sort, his only weakness, albeit a major one in the Preach-Off, is his ability to form coherent sentences.

At first glance, Rev. Creech may seem like a hands-down favourite. The other esteemed members of the XTREME Wingnut Preach-Off-jury has already pointed to his many chunks (and nipples) of wingnutty goodness, and they are plentiful indeed.
But I fear we have hitherto missed one fatal error in his presentation:

And certainly Robertson’s previous statement suggesting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez be assassinated was unjustifiable.

Finding fault with his wingnut superiors? Shirley this will not do. The Rev. Creech just put himself on the reserve bench indefinitely.

Rutz almost had it in the bag, when the Mysterious Defender of Fetus-americans took everyone by surprise.
Womb Babies!
Secular Feminists!
The Dread Wife of Clenis!
Creator God* Weeps!

Oh my, I think there can be no question about it. The Veiled Wingnut of Swanky Secrecy has won the day.

*Creator God? Seriously, wouldn’t you think the Enigmatic Avenger would be on a first name basis with this God character by now?

 
 

Hear Hear!

Only scripture based censorship is acceptible in MY america!

none of that deceny-based self censorship.

God alone knows decency.

he told me.

 
 

I have to vote for the Mystery Preacher?.
Can we have him go up against a re-invigorated Pastor Swank next time?
[crickets chirping as everyone stares at me like an idiot]
The other two really didn’t do too much for me. Wasn’t the topic selection last time PC vs ID? Boooooo-ring! You might as well have let Swank have another go at it–at least he’s probably written columns about 70 different topics by this point!
Rutz used pretty much the same material last time, so many points off for him, though I did find his “fatherless household=homosexuality”-thing amusing. My mom passed away more than 20 years ago, and look how I turned out!
Creech is certainly stupid enough to be a contenda. He pulled one of my “favorite” ID arguments, the one equating evolutionary theory to religion, “accusing” evolutionists of having some set-in-stone “belief system” and a mindless orthodoxy. Being that unacquainted with science and scientific method is just too prescious, and scores him points… big time! But not enough to defeat…
…The Mystery Wingnut Global!! Wot a maroon! Ah, that prose, those eyes… Wait a minute, Brad blacked over those eyes, as well as the rest of Mystery Man’s pig-like features. Who could it be, who could it be? Well, ya gotta put him up against Swank next time*!

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.

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*yeah, I know. 😉

 
 

Instead of the Putz/Creech/Swank threeway [*shudder*], you could have a Swank-on-Swank lovefest.

 
 

… How the hell did that come out as Putz? That’s not even near the R…

 
 

Steve: paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Sigmund Freud: “There there, now tell me all about your fixation on the ‘p’…”

And the winner is (sung to the tune of “Mystery Date”): Mystery Swank,Are you ready for your Mystery Swank? Open the door for your Mystery Swank…. Zombie womb-babies RULE!

 
 

“D’you reckon he’s the strain of wingnut who would call YOU racist for pointing out that racism exists, or has he not advanced that far?”

No, he clearly doesn’t think racism is a bad thing, so he wouldn’t “accuse” anybody of it.

 
 

I gotta disagree; Rutz is the winner. You have to read between the lines, but think about what this passage means:

In PC Land, differences among people (and especially among groups) are not to be discussed. The biggest problem with that is that any national economy based on activities more complex than hunting and gathering absolutely requires a division of labor, which is based on individually determined specialization … which is typically based on concrete differences in talent, preference and training. In the blind rush toward PC equality, thousands of laws are written to keep any intelligent differentiation to a minimum.

This passage can be read two ways that I can see:

1. Rutz thinks that PC has gotten so far out of control that it not only denies that there are differences between demographic groups, but denies that there are any differences between individuals, leading to a world where a company can’t ask about qualifications, but simply has to hire the first person who comes through the door.

2. Rutz thinks that the demographic groups that PC has sought to equalize actually do have inherent differences, and employers should be allowed, even required to discriminate based on this. In other words, Rutz wants to return to the days of segregation, maybe even slavery.

Now, if 1. is true Rutz is so out of touch as to rival Pastor Swank. If 2. is true, he’s openly advocating racism, something that very few wingnuts would have the balls to do.

For this reason, I think Rutz deserves the prize.

 
 

All right, having come late to this debate, I notice many of you are Swankers. You love Swanking and you want it 24/7.

Nevertheless, in this Preach-Off, I maintain that Rev. Creech is cluelessest. Rutz has a few golden moments — “un-gay homosexuals”? — which I think is supposed to be a play on the connotation gay=happy. Been there, heard that. Mystery Swank has fewer silver linings, but hey, he mentions womb-babies a lot. Heard that a whole lot from him, too.

It’s the self-contradictory nature of Creech’s argument that appeals to me. As others (Major Woody and Meri, for two) have pointed out, if ID isn’t religious, and if ID is rejected, then why is God supposed to be so hopped up about it? And is the — how does it go? — Creator God supposed to smite Dover because She is too weak to take on a school board, or because She wants to make a point about evolution that cannot be made by knocking off everyone who thinks Darwin had a clue or two? Cause, you know, Dover PA is the epicenter of evolutionary theory.

It’s the ineffable questions like this that prod me to say that, like it or not, Creech won this round.

But to stay on top, he’ll have to get even nuttier. And hiring a co-writer named Crong would sway many a pothead like me to permanent Creechdom.

 
 

“D’you reckon he’s the strain of wingnut who would call YOU racist for pointing out that racism exists, or has he not advanced that far?”

No, he clearly doesn’t think racism is a bad thing, so he wouldn’t “accuse” anybody of it.

Right. That’s the thing, though — the wingnuts who DO do that aren’t free of racism themselves, and are pretty aware of it; they just want to call liberals racist for pointing racism out, basically.

 
 

Rev. Mark H. Creech.

Hands down.

“In defense of Pat Robertson”

this title alone blows Rutz and Swank and off the map.

Rutz must have been suffering from a severe case of writers block; a pc straw man? Weak. Maybe he should have said that the reason people aren’t coming back from the dead in America is because of political correctness.

 
 

As intriguing as the mystery writer’s appearance was, I think I have to give this one to Creech, for an impressive display of doublethink.
Yeah ID has nothing to do with religion, except it basically says that nature alone can’t account for all this, so it must have been a higher power… Do you see god mentioned by name there? Me neither, case closed.

They’ve blinded me with science… wait not science, what’s that word I’m looking for? Stupidity. Raging stupidity.

 
 

Man it’s sooo hard to decide. Womb babies has that crunchy wingnuttiness, un-gay homosexuals is up there too. I have to go with his creechiness. I have to agree with that putting up your main argument only to destroy it in the same sentence is a level above Mystery Fighter…

 
 

Boo-yah! Creech, Creech, Creech, Creech! Three go in, one comes out! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

 
 

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