Right! Those “detainees” were only going to be thrown in the garbage anyway, so who cares if we torture them? Say, are you going to eat that fat?

Right-wing Jesus supports capital punishment, tax cuts, torture, and bombing foreigners.

Not to mention, He enjoys reading the works of Ayn Rand.

The fact is, John must sleep on the wet spot.

To badly mangle a Terry Pratchett saying, perhaps Ramesh could introduce his scribble to the concept of nullus illumintus*

* Put it where the sun don’t shine.

The poster boy for nasty brutish and short.

Clearly, though, the Party of Death is too weak-willed for torture.

In the photo, has he got a rat coming out of his left ear? Jesus that would hurt.

The Corner is in my comedy folder, and I happened to read Ramesh’s gem before encountering your summary.

It is still a wonder to me that you can read this shit all the time. All I could think when I read Ramesh’s apology to torturers everywhere was, “Wow, he’s digging deep, and is clearly one of those overeducated fuckheads who can articulately rationalize his tortured (!) logic like the wingnut pro he is.”

I still don’t get it. Why can’t we waterboard these people to see what their real attitudes and opinions are? Surely whatever they said would be completely reliable.

Sean Hannity, step up like a Man!

So, we’ve got Punuru forming a cute little ‘O’ with his mouth, while Charlie McCarthy tries to push out an ‘F.’

Maybe we can develop a new game. Let’s call it Wingnut Semaphore.

Line up pictures of a series wingnuts, and try to decipher the words based on the letters formed by their purty little mouths. As an example, Punuru + McCarthy = “Of.”

Suggested caption: “Not pictured: John Derbyshire’s erect penis.”

Rightwingsnarkle, you remind me of a recent South Park episode, in which all the young girls invited backstage to meet the Jonas Bros. spend a little time bemoaning the idea that the JB’s want the girls to blow them, only to open their mouths in perfect cartoon circles when the JB’s show up to talk to them.

Comedy gold. And that’s not even counting Mickey Mouse as a sadistic greedy mofo.

Oh God. “They believe in a talking dead guy!”

Dear wingnuts.

Reason attests that there are objects of the human act which are by their nature “incapable of being ordered” to God, because they radically contradict the good of the person made in his image. These are the acts which, in the Church’s moral tradition, have been termed “intrinsically evil” (intrinsece malum): they are such always and per se, in other words, on account of their very object, and quite apart from the ulterior intentions of the one acting and the circumstances. Consequently, without in the least denying the influence on morality exercised by circumstances and especially by intentions, the Church teaches that “there exist acts which per se and in themselves, independently of circumstances, are always seriously wrong by reason of their object”. The Second Vatican Council itself, in discussing the respect due to the human person, gives a number of examples of such acts: “Whatever is hostile to life itself, such as any kind of homicide, genocide, abortion, euthanasia and voluntary suicide; whatever violates the integrity of the human person, such as mutilation, physical and mental torture and attempts to coerce the spirit; whatever is offensive to human dignity, such as subhuman living conditions, arbitrary imprisonment, deportation, slavery, prostitution and trafficking in women and children; degrading conditions of work which treat labourers as mere instruments of profit, and not as free responsible persons: all these and the like are a disgrace, and so long as they infect human civilization they contaminate those who inflict them more than those who suffer injustice, and they are a negation of the honour due to the Creator”.

—Veritatis Splendor, Pope John Paul II

Now shut up.

You’re not the bossa me, Andrew! I’ll just convert AGAIN to Red State non-denominational evangelicalism and start calling the Pope the Antichrist! Nyah!

I would say that there’s something very very wrong with these people, but I would need to use a word much more like “everything” instead of “something”.

Pope JP II was a pussy, and Pope Nosferatu will clean his shit UP.

So he hates torture and all, he just can’t be bothered to devote a whole column to it because there are just so many more important things to write about… like say, a wandering narcissistic piece on how torture leaves him feeling kinda meh. Yeah, too bad he doesnt have the time or the column space, or he would definitely get around to denouncing torture one of these days.

Just for posterity’s sake, Chuck “The German Hammer” Krauthammer’s medical license is most desperately in need of immediate revocation.

The man is psychotically violent and extreme.

Just for the record, I feel the same way about torture that I do the death penalty. Either is OK only if *I* get to decide when either is appropriate. Someone else doing either in my name is unacceptable.

And completely unworkable in RealityLand.

Products:
Swans Zoochquemoopr’s Koala Pretzel
Nayelerlefne Armando’s Obese Panther Nog
Major General Glendora’s Bull Shark Sushi
Geeclzimokibcroyle Cytology’s Coconut Water Marinade
Lieutenant Circle’s Baby Gouda Smoothie
Specialist Activation’s Harmonious Angler Pancakes
Paulettenol Ployqunayklee’s Pearl Danio Mayonnaise
Mayor Dokipyeeworee’s Mysterious Aardvarks Kugel
Count Ronny-Kiana Doyxcledoun’s Low-Fat Milk Squares
Spaniardizationju Foodstuff’s Squash Candy
Postponing Spiting’s Stretched Curd Cheeses Orzo
Congressman Cuprconsuelo Teresia’s Beet-Root Mincemeat

RB, you’re clearly more creative and educated (drunker?) than me.

That was funny, I think.

It’s all soulless unfunny machinery, John. I hit a button and I get 20 more.

Herr Betsy’s Weatherfish Terrine
Inscription’s Vast Trumpetfish Cake
Veining Lahkaycldamah’s Nosy Tommy Ruff Sticks
First Lieutenant Yupltig’s Punishing Cuchia Stew
Cohesive’s False Brotula Loaf
Squarelyyeecr Nocl’s Embryonic Sea Chub Ice
Grandpa Bousoyg’s Sun-dried Trevally Burger
Queen Yayvaych Gorky-Stain’s Fromage Frais Enchilada
Pohvirginia Ewe-Gilbertson’s Cheery Blacksmelt Porridge
Nicky suffice-Abominable’s Aubergine Bisque
Rokolive Conceptualization’s Sweetened Condensed Milk Tahini
Magen Kory’s Passive Civet Mincemeat
Mr. Earlie-Jodie Abides’s Corrupt Fierasfer Knish
Inclosed-Contributes’s Silly Sea Snail pesto
Seaman Pigteebicrefawe Bursts-Peeped’s Hawaiian Monk Seal Fudge
Professor Barbaracoud Psychologically’s Vimba Croquette
Frederico Mindi’s Root Of Hemlock Digg’d I The Dark Tea
Calf Leena’s Pistachio Chai
Seaman Zorokzoochzek’s Rudd Ball
Master Sergeant Aborted’s Jack Cheese Paella
Rus’s Intrinsic Gibbon Toast

Intrinsic gibbons are the cutest ones so PETA is all over that.

Hilarious, RB.

One of these days I’m going to have to figure out how to work these Intertoobz.

Good lord, the JanusNode home page is gone.

In the photo, has he got a rat coming out of his left ear? Jesus that would hurt.

I am more concerned about the pickled baby godzilla in a jar, up in the top left corner of the picture.

Well, if that’s the one you’re getting all those funny…whatever they are, it’s probably your fault.

I’ve heard that the Toobz can get clogged.

JanusNode’s a program you can mess up text with:

http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/2794

Off to go night-night.

You are all a boon to society. Have a great weekend.

Cousin Appellant-Pipeline’s Baker’s Cheese Fudge
King Teems’s Beaumont Cheese Salsa
Corset’s Roasted Annelid Tahini
toccara’s Scary Doe Stroganoff
Brighterte Colene’s Adder’s Fork Bisque
Shante’s Mushroom Enchilada
Private First Class Kipjayequour’s Whey Cheeses Pilaf
Colonel Healy’s Vasterboten Cheese Cacciatore
Evelia Demonstrators’s Olive Flounder Custard
Officer Heaver’s Mexican Jack Muffin
Daqushoyquepeebtho Rustication’s Ratfish Jambalaya
Nofeclustered Qufagvoyha’s Lark Loaf
Merri Slashing’s Louvar Oatmeal
Ensign Januaryshepr Miniature’s Coconut Water Puff
Swallows Thickens-Copyrightable’s Photogenic Bug Burrito
General Depemanuel Stalwart-Royalists’s Swiss Cheese Mincemeat
Layplazalee Romaine’s Fictitious Nase Patty
Count Misha’s Shortnose Sucker Compote
Lady Houvkoyjin tho’s Calm Sea Turtle Stroganoff
Brigadier General Trespass’s Nuclear Slender Barracudina Pasta
Bibiped Alva’s Dusky Grouper Ice

Katy Ena’s Havarti Pasta
Diagnose’s Blue Triggerfish Marinade
Sunoco’s Pomegranate Syrup
Xecjegmi’s Nutty Cnidarian Pretzel
United States Postal Service Leatherback Turtle Patty
Anarchist-grudges’s Fillet Of A Fenny Snake Loaf
Vodafone Pufferfish Cacciatore
Milanfa Jefferson’s Awkward Nutria Sprinkles
Kuwait Petroleum Corporation’s Leech Smoothie
Commander Shizuko’s Saint Paulin Cheese Cocoa
ConocoPhillips’s arrogant European Minnow Coffee
Eli Webodfudquou’s Curd-Cheese Hotpot
Credit Suisse Group Mud Catfish (Mud Cat) Salad
Hon Hai Precision Industry Co. (Ltd.)’s Wren Linguine
Fortis Familiar Feral Cat Punch
Sheekenaymaklepreeve’s Ugliest Combfish Wrap
Colonel Ensign Kum’s Agile Shortnose Greeneye Mousse
Sheekedocrsheekke’s Leopard Shark Sorbet
Commander Sportswriting Crocrouttooro’s Turnip Kugel
Ms. Perfects-Restraints’s Sandfish Sauerkraut
Cashefowichci Efren’s St. Marcellin Cheese Ball

I am more concerned about the pickled baby godzilla in a jar, up in the top left corner of the picture.

Snacks.

Chuck “The German Hammer” Krauthammer’s medical license is most desperately in need of immediate revocation.

The American Psychiatric Association has an ethics code. Hard to believe, but true.
Somewhere in that code is a clause that enjoins the members of the APA not to abuse their Godlike Powers or damage the brand by throwing around diagnoses of mental illness willy-nilly, e.g. without actually meeting the person being diagnosed. This way psychiatrists can convince themselves that they are more ethical than their Breshnev-era Soviet counterparts, who were prone to have dissidents committed for the mental illness known as ‘dissidence’.

Section 7, that’s it:
However, it is unethical for a psychiatrist to offer a professional opinion unless he/she has conducted an examination and has been granted proper authorization for such a statement.

Krauthammer’s membership was not revoked for coming up with the diagnosis of “Bush Derangement Syndrome” and applying it to a large sector of the US population. More honoured, breach, observance, etc.

“I am more concerned about the pickled baby godzilla in a jar, up in the top left corner of the picture.”

That’s not Gojirra, that’s a fetus.

Research, y’know.

Condaleeza Rice:
“And so by definition, if it* was authorized by the president, it did not violate our obligations under the Convention Against Torture.”

* “It” = any action, but waterboarding in this case.
I am not sure whether this applies to <i.all statements from the president or only to those that are issued ex cathedra.

And so by definition, if it* was authorized by the president, it did not violate our obligations

Does not apply to the Transnational Intern Blowjob Prohibition.

“And so by definition, if it* was authorized by the president, it did not violate our obligations under the Convention Against Torture.”

If the president jumped off a bridge, it would be our solemn obligation to jump off as well.

If enhanced interrogation techniques used against John McCain may have provided any useful information that could have saved one life. Certainly it was worth it.

abortion works. isnt that the new standard of whats moral these days?

I’m just trying to imagine the future applications of Rice’s Dico-ego-est argument-by-redefinition.
“And so by definition, if victory was declared by the president, subsequent movements of our troops were a timely demobilisation rather than a retreat.”
“And so by definition, if an economic boom was announced by the president, we are not currently in a depression.”

Smut Clyde: That’s no baby godzilla in that pickle jar! That’s … that’s Kermit the Frog!!! Oh My GOD what have they done now, those bastards!

Since we’ve brought Terry Pratchett into this thread, I must now quote Commander Sam Vimes’ postion on torture. Yoo! Listen up!

“If you are willing to do it for the ‘right’ reasons you will be willing to do it for the wrong ones.”

Obese Panther Nog? I hope the people force-feeding the panthers get all their fingers bitten off.

So, is abortion OK if the fetus tells us everything it knows?

Condaleeza Rice:
“And so by definition, if it* was authorized by the president, it did not violate our obligations under the Convention Against Torture.”

I believe I remember this… was in a movie just recent… Frost/Blitzen? Frost/Vixen (how is that not a porno yet)? Something like that, where the guy with a ‘x’ in his name says that if a president does it, it’s not a crime.

Based on a true story, apparently! Maybe from one of those crazy dictatorships in Latin America.

Stanford students pwn Condi.

if a president does it, it’s not a crime.
Yes, but Nixon was claiming the power to over-rule the law-book. Rice was claiming that Presidental statements over-rule the entire dictionary.*

Nixon: Certain acts defined as torture aren’t illegal if the President says so.
Rice: Certain acts defined as torture aren’t torture if the President says so.

* Possibly including ‘the’ and ‘and’.

See those books on the shelf in back of this poorly educated Princetonite? Those are display books whose sole function is to impress the foolish. My guess is that Ramesh lifted those from Pat Robertson.