Yip Yip Yapwank1
Confederate Yankee:
Something Stupid This Way Comes
After all this time, he still sets us up with a Wiffle ball on top of a traffic cone.
All right then, let’s do this thing.
Confederate Yankee:
Something Stupid This Way Comes
…By the thumbing of his prick.
Moving right along:
Micheal Scheuer plays with fire:
Can you see him checking ‘Scheuer’ to make sure the tricky vowels were lined up correctly, and then putting on his hat and walking to the store while ‘Micheal’ sat there with its nose in its eye and vice versa, sighing through a sad kazoo?
Scheueuer, or however he’s spelling it these days, is a former head of the CIA’s Bin Laden unit and the author of Imperial Hubris, a book that offered a critique from the right of Bush’s putative War on Terror that often overlapped with critiques from the left. Scheuer has been difficult to place as a source, because while he clearly knows what he’s talking about and argues in good faith (for instance, his complex understanding of figures such as Bin Laden is rare on either side of the right-left divide), he’s also a Ron Paul devotee and a Clinton hater, with all the concomitant blind spots and weird enthusiasms that come with these ready-made and strangely invariable flavors of mind. That is, his arguments often display a finely detailed sense of the context that surrounds Islamic extremism, and that motivates its players, but an impoverished sense of his own context.
Confederate Yankee never paid any attention to Scheuer when he was criticizing the Bush administration, although he found him useful once in predicting vague but dire consequences of the jihadi terror variety if Democrats came out ahead in the ’06 elections. Here he is quoting Scheuer now:
Surprisingly, Obama now stands alongside Bush as a genuine American Jacobin, both of them seeing the world as they want it to be, not as it is. Whereas Bush saw a world of Muslims yearning to betray their God for Western secularism, Obama gazes upon a globe that he regards as largely carnivore-free and believes that remaining threats can be defused by semantic warfare; just stop saying “War on Terror” and give talks in Turkey and on al-Arabiyah television, for example.
Americans should be clear on what Obama has done. In a breathtaking display of self-righteousness and intellectual arrogance, the president told Americans that his personal beliefs are more important than protecting their country, their homes and their families.
And the quote goes on from there.
The interrogation techniques in question, the president asserted, are a sign that Americans have lost their “moral compass,” a compliment similar to Attorney General Eric Holder’s identifying them as “moral cowards.” Mulling Obama’s claim, one can wonder what could be more moral for a president than doing all that is needed to defend America and its citizens? Or, asked another way, is it moral for the president of the United States to abandon intelligence tools that have saved the lives and property of Americans and their allies in favor of his own ideological beliefs?
And the rest of the editorial continues along those lines as well. First, here’s what Mr. Yankee saw when he read that passage:
Surprisingly, Obama now stands wubba-wubba as a genuine American Jacobin, wah-wah seeing the world as cough-cough he wants cough it to be, not as it is. Whereas wugguda-wugguda, boop-de-doop, yum yum bum-biddy-dum, Obama gazes upon a globe that he regards as largely carnivore-free and believes that remaining threats can be defused by…
Next, and seriously, it would be folly to discount Sheuer just because he’s saying something we don’t want to hear, but also folly not to compare his impression of Obama with what we know Obama is actually trying to do: to repair international relationships strained to the literal breaking point by an eight-year fugue of the same Imperial hubris that (Sheuer knows) got the US into some notable trouble in the Middle East over the past few years. There has been no genuine reason — as in non-crazy or not wished-for — to project onto Obama any notable intellectual arrogance, at least compared to other people who imagined, to whatever effect, that they could become President of the United States.
Whether Obama and his methods are up the task is another question, and there will certainly be opportunities for him to reveal his particular hamartia, the flaw which enables hubris. But among Scheuer’s ideological blind spots is an inability to understand that liberals can sometimes want the same things as conservatives — in this case security against Islamic terrorism — but will often pursue these goals in different, less heavy-handed ways. It’s like the Bad Cop seeing the Good Cop bring the suspect a cup of coffee, and getting all weird that they’re in league against him.
Mr. Yankee, though, is just an anger junkie enabled and encouraged by the spite-driven wingnut media and its billionaire clownmasters. Here’s what he creates, as though out of scavenged Lego bricks, from the above Sheuer passage:
Barack Obama is graciously willing to bet your life on his ideology, a matter of breath-taking arrogance, immaturity, and intellectual desolation, but a position we’ve come to recognize as his status quo.
Scheuer stops just short of stating that Obama is immoral or amoral; perhaps to avoid inflaming those who would see the President’s willingness to purposefully gamble “the loss of major cities and tens of thousands of countrymen” as justification for what Obama’s mentors would have glibly described in younger days as “direct action.”
If that’s hard to parse, he’s talking about armed rebellion, assassinations, blowing oneself up in a Unitarian church, and all that sort of thing. Scheuer doesn’t exactly say in so many words that Obama is immoral, because if he did, it might drive citizens to pull a Cummings — not that the DHS report on right-wing violence is anything but a cynical attack from the deranged Obamafascist police state, but it’s possible to push the American taxpayer too far, heh heh. And something is revealed when Confederate Yankee talks about violence or cruelty in that careful, cheeseparing way of his that’s subtly pungent of burnt pork and tires, and it’s hateful underneath teh funny.
It is a dangerous rhetorical game he suggests, and one that other loose cannons may be emboldened to parrot with every dangerous move this incompetent Administration makes.
Oho, he suggests, is it?
Besides which, anybody who could write a sentence in which loose cannons parrot a game is practicing a form of discursive terrorism, and is not sitting in the catbird seat, but is in fact tearing up the pea patch and hollering down the rain barrel.2
Shorter Michael Schwa: general interrogation policy should be based solely on my pants-wetting
fantasynightmare scenario.perhaps to avoid inflaming those who would see the President’s willingness to purposefully gamble “the loss of major cities and tens of thousands of countrymen” as justification for what Obama’s mentors would have glibly described in younger days as “direct action.”
Sounds ominous, I think this “Confederate Yankee” has information regarding imminent attacks against U.S. citizens. Maybe it’s time to give him the CHAR-KOAL GREE-ULL he’s been hankering after…
Note “ominous ellipses”.
Once again, the blend of erudition and snark is most delicious. Another bravura performance!
a sign that Americans have lost their “moral compass,”
I personally have lost my moral GPS unit, which is a real bugger because I’d spent some time re-programming it to speak in a Swedish accent when it was giving me directions.
I just googled “sad kazoo” to make sure it wasn’t in the same vein (or orifice) as “rusty trombone”.
Barack Obama is graciously willing to bet your life on his ideology….
Nothing new. All presidents do it. That’s what they’re there for. It’s the nature of the job. Before the end of conscription, a president could decide to wander into Korea or Vietnam and the next thing you knew you or your older brother was developing a really bad case of trench foot and a really good drug habit. Or give or take a Supreme Court appointment and your older sister or cousin died of an illegal abortion. Some deceptive tweaks in how the Consumer Price Index is calculated and poor Aunt Bea, dependent upon Medicare and Social Security, stops taking her heart pills and starts eating cat food. Even a Department of Transportation decision to raise highway speed limits to 65 or 70 mph is going to kill people.
This parrot is no more, bereft of life it rests in peace.
I love the bit about betting your life against his ideological view. For fucks sake, can’t one of these bozos look up Irony in a book somewhere.
More threats of armed insurrection. I’m getting seriously steamed at this shit. Do you suppose any left-leaning columnist or blogger over the last 8 years who suggested that Bush’s (actual, remember) crimes justified the taking of “direct action” would have been ignored like the constant calls for treason by these right-wing assholes are?
I think it’s time to lock up some of these bastards so deep they’ll never see the light of day again.
I’m constantly reminded of an abusive spouse: “She made me hit her! I didn’t want to, but when she puts too much salt in the soup… I’ve told her how much I hate salt in the soup, she knows it drives me crazy, and she still does it! One of these days I’m going to just totally lose control, and it’ll be her fault when she ends up dead.”
Just think, fuckers like O’Reilly et al. have characterized Media Matters as a “far left hate site” because Brock’s brigade called them out on their bullshit. Are any of the righties self-aware enough to realize what the hell they’ve created? The Echo Chamber was a fraction of its current size during the heyday of domestic terrorism- would a guy like Murdoch do a programming about-face if a new Timothy McVeigh or Eric Rudolph emerges? Limbaugh has already been criticized for his Humane Society PSA’s, but he’s probably too far gone.
Obama is immoral or amoral
What about emmmoral? Or ummmmoral?
I deliberately omit the dreaded, and inconsistent ymmmmmoral.
Oxymoral?
Wait wait wait. “Yip Yip Yapwank?” You’re not from Camp Upton, are you?
A trial or a pardon?
Oxymoral?
Nah. That’s Rush.
The only fair conclusion is that since Obama insists on his dangerous foreign policy experiment of *not* being a crazed warmongering idiot to any nation which looks vaguely shifty eyed in the views of today?s Birchers, Obama will have only himself to blame if’n the South has to rise again.
Obama will have only himself to blame if’n the South has to rise again.
If the south rises, a good slam of the oven door should solve the problem.
My moral theodolite works fine, but the humidity has warped my moral stadia rod, so the readings are all skewed.
Barack Obama is graciously willing to bet your life on his ideology, a matter of breath-taking arrogance, immaturity, and intellectual desolation
CY seems to be arguing, against all proof to the contrary, that Obama is nothing more than a liberal Bush. Yet more of their tired “me too, me too” bullshit that got a President impeached for a blow job because, after all, Nixon was forced out of office so they had to do it too. God, they’re such whiny-ass wankers.
ignored like the constant calls for treason by these right-wing assholes are
*sigh* It’s probably going to take another OKC before anyone does anything about it, and the wankers are going to be crying foul and shitting the First Amendment the whole time, like they did last time.
I mean, we all knew damn well they’d go there if a Democrat got elected – I’m just not sure if anyone thought it’d get this bad this quickly.
OT, but the BBC made sure that its streaming radio iPlayer has its volume setting go to 11.
Unfortunately it has no setting for “OMG goin’ batsh*t crazy tryin’ ta think of why it is this week that Obama’s gon’ make the damn peepulz rise up and proteck ’emselves from this Kenyan darkie who’s tryin’ to give their backyards to North Korea and instead a’ torturin’ guys who’s gonna nuke us, he wants to give ’em long backrubs and aromatherrrrpy”.
Obama is the first fascist dictator/pacifist in the history of ever.
“She made me hit her! I didn’t want to, but when she puts too much salt in the soup…
Its wholly unsurprising that the party of the Angry White Male would turn into the Stalker Ex-Boyfriend Party once it lost power. I keep hearing the same theme from their side, even the elected officials:
“Oh sure, she looks happy now but just wait, she’ll come running back to me when she wakes up and sees and he’s only using her and I’m the one who really loves her!” ::guzzles whiskey from bottle::
All that impotent bluster about “secession”– how is that anything but a political version of “well if I can’t have her, no one can!!!”?
Scheuer stops just short of stating that Obama is immoral or amoral
But that still leaves open the options of being emmoral, ommoral, or ummoral.
How many times does one have to explain that the whole “ticking time bomb scenario” is an fantasy game for retards?
Like I needed to be more depressed this morning. I think I’ll go stand outside. In the rain.
The Obamamessiah will put all successionist patriots in FEMA concentration camps and force them to sing Kumbaya.
If we don’t torture them, how will we know whether to cut the blue wire or the red wire one second before the bomb explodes?
And you’re suggesting somehow that this indicates a limited market? I mean, you may be talking a relatively low percentage of the population, but still this would indicate a target base of several million customers for this fantasy game.
just stop saying “War on Terror” and give talks in Turkey
Well, he’s talking Turkey …
This could possibly shape up to be a very weird public policy debate, and one anticipated by many dystopian stories and movies.
Thankfully, I can predict that the mere publication of this study will mean we’ll be reading the birthers’ and rod-hunters’ and chemtrail trackers’ latest discovery of Obamanoids ‘dosing’ their tap water, and this is why tha peepul ain’t a risin’ up as they should be and overthrowin’ that Kenyan guy who pretends to be American Preznit but who was never born and never took the real oath of office.
I should clarify that I am opposed to the introduction of mind-altering drugs into tap water outside of any white conservative areas of the American South, or at least anyone can present serious scientific evidence that a drug can cure of us American Southness.
It’s like the Bad Cop seeing the Good Cop bring the suspect a cup of coffee, and getting all weird that they’re in league against him.
Steely-eyed, rock-ribbed patriots and partisans of direct action* and its not-so-subtle advocation would prefer to see the Good Cop/Bad Cop dynamic replaced by the Bad Cop/Rogue Cop dynamic.
*Will they take up the rhetoric of direct democracy as well, as in calling for recall referenda on national elected officials?
Did somebody say something about tha peepul ain’t a risin’ up as they should be and overthrowin’ that Kenyan guy who pretends to be American Preznit…?
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney compared the GOP to Americans fighting the British during the Revolutionary War. “We are the party of the revolutionaries, they [Democrats] are the party of the monarchists,” he told the overwhelmingly Republican crowd, saying the Republicans needed to “once again lead the American Revolution.”
Magical underpants d00d is totally correct for all values of crazy dittoheads waving teabags = revolutionaries.
Does he think “status quo” is Latin for “zip code”?
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney compared the GOP to Americans fighting the British during the Revolutionary War.
And excellent start to the Rebranding Shit tour. Jeb! is probably smacking his head and saying, “What am I doing with this moron?”
Wait — is Romney suggesting that he would have been on the side of the colonists in the actual war for independence from Britain? ‘Cause, I’m just not seeing Mitt Romney as the Founding Father type. I’m seeing him more as a British East India Company flack.
“It’s like the Bad Cop seeing the Good Cop bring the suspect a cup of coffee, and getting all weird that they’re in league against him.”
I remember a former New Haven police chief who was in hot water for among other matters (adultery and being too liberal) being criticized for buying a pizza for a murder suspect. New Haven pizza is the best in the world. The fact that he got a signed confession out of him apparently was irrelevant. A dozen years ago, don’t remember his name.
The thing about the “nightmare scenario” is that, in real life, should it happen, the interrogators would use any means necessary to get the information and worry about the legality later. If someone is pointing a knife at my wife and I have a gun at hand I wouldn’t worry if using it was legal. But life isn’t like a bad Tom Clancy movie! The problem is making torture a normal policy, breaking the law as a matter of course. Jeebus on burnt toast, are the wingers TOTALLY incapable of thinking in anything other than stark black and whites? (rhetorical question, of course they can’t)
The context for the Romney speech is encouraging to the “Souf Gon’ Rise ‘Gin” conservatives:
Surely Romney can only leap from mountaintop to mountaintop, from suxxess to suxxess, with this type of start.
Yeah, funny how those whose sole guiding political principle is to remove all obstacles to and promote concentration of wealth into the hands of a few in an effort to create an American aristocracy would accuse the other guys of being “monarchists.” And that’s not even getting into the whole “when the president does it, it’s not illegal, if he’s a Republican,” which could hardly be more in line with monarchism. I suppose this type of rhetoric would be a problem, if anyone but the lunatic fringe listened to and believed it.
The challenge for the left over these next several years is to recognize that there is a baseline level of stupid/crazy in the country that isn’t going to go away, cannot be reasoned with, and will not support anyone or anything not proposed by someone with an “R” after their name, and just move on. The Dem mistakes of the past 15 years can each be traced, in greater or lesser degree, to a belief that these people can be pacified or placated. They can’t, because they’re crazy – which is exactly why no one should try to pacify or placate them when it comes to policy – because it merely infects policy with crazy, and further encourages them.
My moral theodolite works fine, but the humidity has warped my moral stadia rod, so the readings are all skewed.
That’s okay. As we used to say on the seismic lines, we’re not building the Eiffel Tower.
It has been really odd for me to come to grips with the now-completely-verified fact that something between 21-28% of the nation (way more in the American Souf, but overall that percentage) are completely mad and hungering for the stupidest possible monarcho-fascist Dark Age leadership they could get.
I think before recently I assumed that the constant number was smaller and all the other times in history when people went dumbofascist, it was due to the times.
Now we know, we really know, that about a quarter of the populace, at least in their willingness to vote, would prefer us to simply collapse into Dark Age feudalism and weirdness.
It’s been sobering.
And all they have to do is get another quarter or so of the population to go along with them for a couple election cycles, and boom, that’s it, bang, we’re suddenly riding a coaster downhill into a bog filled with sh*t and going through sh*t showers on the way down and fully a quarter of the passengers are hooting with d-lite on how the sh*t smells and tastes like chocolate like how they make their own special chocolate in their underpants.
And all they have to do is get another quarter or so of the population to go along with them for a couple election cycles, and boom, that’s it, bang, we’re suddenly riding a coaster downhill into a bog filled with sh*t and going through sh*t showers on the way down and fully a quarter of the passengers are hooting with d-lite on how the sh*t smells and tastes like chocolate like how they make their own special chocolate in their underpants.
Ah, nostalgia.
But the handful of peaceful protesters out front weren’t Democrats — they were conservatives upset over the new group’s agenda and leadership. They brandished signs criticizing McCain, calling the NCNA [National Council for a New America] “RINOs” — Republicans in Name Only — and urging them to push for stricter immigration enforcement…
That’s the other delicious nugget of schadenfreude here: not only is the “rebranding” effort a transparent attempt, via marketing, at obscuring that there is really nothing the party stands for – a strategy of FAIL for an organization that desperately needs to attract more followers – it also alienates the hard-core base, which is comprised of those who demand that the GOP let its freak flag fly.
It’s just so darned amusing: the GOP can’t win elections unless it pretends to be moderate, but the only people who really staunchly support it these days are those who insist that all pretense to moderation be jettisoned regardless of electoral consequences.
Quite the catch-22 they’ve managed to engineer for themselves, ain’t it?
As someone wrote on Balloon Juice (paraphrasing) “No one could have anticipated that the Republican Party’s increasing reliance on the Southern Strategy would leave them without a Northern, Midwestern, or Western strategy“.
Standing athwart history yelling “Stop” is the new revolutionary position, y’all.
Romney the fudge packer
Romney is just demonstrating what he would do to the country if elected. I find the honesty refreshing.
Obama is Emeril.
BAM!
I’l like a little more garlic in my Supreme Court nominee.
Scalia, Alito, there is already too much garlic at the Supreme Court.
The Republican Party will have a national strategy after Obambi stumbles and falls.
Face it, not very many people like someone coming into their wallet, without the permission, and spending money on shit they don’t want.
But what would we expect from someone who only had “community organizer” (read: thief) on his thin resume?
Kind of like watching a Velociraptor pack attacked a Stegosaurus. Fascinating, but you don’t want to get too close.
“But what would we expect from someone who only had “community organizer” (read: thief) on his thin resume?”
Fuckin’ A! How can community organizers do cool shit like try to get books about homos banned or make women pay for their own rape kits?
The Blorplacriclump Party will have a splork splark after Blompy-flompy gyres and gimbals.
Face it, not very many people like bliffity-flobbity-bloo without the wickety-pickety and florb flonk on bloo blap blickety-ba-roo.
But what would we expect from glop-glip-glimbety-glaxety clang clang clang?
Mr. Yankers,
Your calls for ‘Direct Actions’ have reached the King and his advisors. The Merlin has given much thought to your words and consulted the correct entrails for a fortnight and has divined that the following actions and ONLY the following actions can save the Kingdom:
First, gather unto yourself a flat plane of wood. Rough hewn log or fine planed board at your leisure, It should be no longer than your forearm and no more than 3 fingers thick. A sturdy grain is preferble according to the entrails.
Next, grasp the aforementioned plane of wood firmly in both hands, holding it firmly, contemplate the dangers you see.
Finally, with rapidity and vigorous application of strength, smash the aforementioned board into thine forehead.
The Merlin suggests that if you do this each time you believe ‘Direct Action’ is necessary, the Kingdom will be saved.
A Humble Servant of Good King Arthur
Wouldn’t the tea party organizers be……….
wait for it………
Community Organizers?
No!! They’re grassroots activists! Community organizers are just another word for black people!
No!! They’re grassroots activists!
Silly me. I forgot.
Hey, asshole, our official smear about community organizers is that they’re meaningless, not that they’re thieves. If you can’t keep the prefab talking points straight, shut the fuck up.
“Fuckin’ A! How can community organizers do cool shit like try to get books about homos banned”
That was a bald faced lie about Palin, assmunch. She never tried to ban any books.
Al Gore never said he “invented the internet” either but that didn’t stop you guys from making a cottage industry out of it.
I guess it sucks when we take a page from your playbook.
The difference is, John has never masturbated to pictures of Al Gore, except for that one time.
Thanks for the visual…..
John, john, john (I know, don’t feed the trolls but they are so pathetically hungry like all lonely mentally ill people without a basic social safety net)
Your boy Bush spent MY MONEY! on killing brown people. I am sure this fact increased the blood to your genitals but that in and of itself does not make it money well spent. What else could we expect from someone who supported Bush: A person whose only claim to fame was being a college cheerleader. I bet you liked him in that short skirt!
Enter my lockbox, you naughty boy.
He spent money that liberated 25 million “brown people” from a brutal dictator with rape rooms and torture chambers, you dumbshit.
Al Gore said he “created” the internet. Same difference.
You mean the same brutal dictator with rape rooms and torture chambers that we used to prop up back when we thought it was in our interest to prop him up?
http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/
And the best part is, NO ONE has been raped, tortured or killed in Iraq since! We certainly haven’t accrued a bigger body count than Saddam Hussein did or anything?
I love ConservaReality.
I hope this fucker gets confronted by a rampaging gunman and decides to take his own advice.
“You mean the same brutal dictator with rape rooms and torture chambers that we used to prop up back when we thought it was in our interest to prop him up?”
All the more reason we had a responsibility to liberate them from him, to make up for supporting him.
“All the more reason we had a responsibility to liberate them from him, to make up for supporting him.”
But I thought admitting America had ever made mistakes was for fags.
You know what I would do if I were a liberal who wanted to distract from the reality of Obambi taking taxpayer money to subsidize and nationalize failing businesses? I’d start blabbing about the Iraq War like it was still 2006.
C’mon, better trolls please.
“John”? It needs a better handle. And it does nothing but type talking points. It needs a gimmick.
We could have cared less about “liberating” the Iraqi people.
If you let us have basing rights and run an oil pipeline through your country you can (literally) boil your political opponents alive for all we care.
Evil dictator who does what we tell him = “our ally”
Evil dictator who doesn’t do what we tell him = “OMG! It’s the next Hitler!”
Why am I supposed to be insulting, again?
Stupid parody troll woke up earlier than usual.
I miss the disemvoweler.
Hey athicunt, go suck a dick.
I truly do miss Bruce, now.
“go suck a dick.”
Someone misses Clinton.
“…Because if you distill John’s beliefs about the utmost good that can possibly come of democratic government, its highest goal, what it boils down to is that government should remove all barriers to allowing a few people to own everything.
Of course he’s free to explain why that isn’t a fair representation of really the only guiding principle he holds, and should he attempt to do so, it should provide at least a moment of hilarity.”
Why should the American taxpayer be forced, at the point of a gun, to prop up a loser company like Chrysler? Isn’t that unfair to the people who work for the winners (Ford, Nissan, Toyota, Honda)?
“Assmunch”? How old is this troll?
Am I more preoccupied with cunts, asses or sucking dicks? Only my court-ordered shrink knows for sure!
““…Because if you distill John’s beliefs about the utmost good that can possibly come of democratic government, its highest goal, what it boils down to is that government should remove all barriers to allowing a few people to own everything.”
Hey lady, Chocolate Jesus and the Democrat Congress are the ones paying billions to keep the CEOs of loser companies afloat.
I’m not sure “John” is really a person.
I think it’s a random-number generator linked to a database of right-wing talking points.
Probably a Bush-bot 6000 series since it has the auto-insult feature.
I’m just not seeing Mitt Romney as the Founding Father type. I’m seeing him more as a British East India Company flack.
Oh, God, yes, he would have been the one writing the report on how they could get rid of their Colonial bookkeepers in favor of local low-caste serfs who would work much cheaper.
Yeah! I’m back! Even Troll can’t pretend “Obambi” makes any sense anymore!
I think it might be a way of feminizing Obama. Whatever its purpose, it really sounds dumb.
Hey lady, Chocolate Jesus and the Democrat Congress are the ones paying billions to keep the CEOs of loser companies afloat.
Uh, no, the CEO was forced to step down.
Which I suspect is your problem with the whole thing.
Oh well, I’ll see ya later Sadly, No. I’ll check back occasionally to see when the threads are readable again.
It is a dangerous rhetorical game he suggests, and one that other loose cannons may be emboldened to parrot with every dangerous move this incompetent Administration makes
That sentence is a hate crime against written english.
Some trolls had panache. Annieangel was a master of the “I only troll you because you’re so mean to me” technique, where it was everyone else’s fault but her own that she’d cause dozen-car pileups in every thread. The Truth/Authentic had a charming Dollar Store Blofeld quality about him, what with his “it is to laughs” and his “bookmark its” and his general arrogance about everything. Dr. BLT had a song for every post! That’s dedication!
This guy’s just boring, though. I think he needs a gimmick. Something like John the Pastry Chef Troll, or John The Juggling Troll.
Chrysler might beg to differ about how it’s being “propped up”, given that it’s just gone into bankruptcy.
If I have enough room I can lick my own scrotum.
“Uh, no, the CEO was forced to step down.”
And he was replaced with the CFO, another GM lifer. What happened to “change”?
It was just window dressing to distract lib morons like you.
It was just window dressing to distract lib morons like you.
John the Interior Decorator Troll is a start, yes.
I’m not really the same thing as a “bailout”.
My favorite Line:
“Barack Obama is graciously willing to bet your life on his ideology, a matter of breath-taking arrogance, immaturity, and intellectual desolation, but a position we’ve come to recognize as his status quo.”
As opposed to the Yankee’s breath taking non ideological humility, maturity, and intellectual generosity taking a position of progress for the betterment of mankind.
“Chrysler might beg to differ about how it’s being “propped up”, given that it’s just gone into bankruptcy.”
It’s a “pre-packaged” bankruptcy and its still being given Bailout Bucks as we speak. And now Fiat (a foreign company!) can line up to the Bailout Buffet, too. All to keep the UAW fatcats happy. Sickening.
He does seem to know rather a lot about window treatments……
Shorter John: “Bailouts for Chrysler are more fascictic than killing 1,000,000 brown people or torture but not as bad as the minimum wage or capital gains taxes.”
Chrysler wouldn’t even be in pre-pack Chapter 11 if it wasn’t for taxpayer money. They would be in Chapter 7 (liquidation) so the winners, who made better products at a lower cost, can take over their market share.
Yawwwwwwwwn
Late getting here–I’m on teh west coast, after all–but I’m already full of admiration for the “micheal” “scheuer” line. Not to mention the thumbing of the prick.
If you spend your weekends trolling liberal snark blogs, you’re not one of us.
SELECT * FROM TALKING_POINTS
WHERE SUBJECT = ‘Chrysler’
“Haha John is trolling. Trolling John. Must be a bot haha!”
Notice how many people keep doing this instead of discussing the topic. Dipshits.
Heh, indeed. Fuck you, pussy faggot.
Heh, indeed. Fuck you, pussy faggot.
Heh, indeed. Fuck you, pussy faggot.
Heh, indeed. Fark you, purple foghorn.
Heh, indurghxs. Frgy yup, purvxxxzxx frrehhhhzzzhffjfhfghj
Hey, dickhead, my father was a UAW worker, and he worked harder in five minutes than you ever have in your worthless life.
Care to respond to my point John or are you a typical conservative coward?
“X is a troll” is just libspeak for “Help! I’m losing the argument to X!”
“Hey, dickhead, my father was a UAW worker,”
What piece of garbage car did he work on?
create table CURRENT_INSULT as
(SELECT BADWORD
FROM INSULTS
WHERE TARGET = ‘Liberals’ and TYPE in (‘Female’, ‘Feminized’)
ORDER BY BADWORD)
with data
Oh and “John”, “you called me a “Troll!!11!!”” is not really an intelligent response. Just so you know.
SELECT * FROM INSULTS
WHERE ID = RND()
Face it, not very many people like someone coming into their ham wallet, without the permission…
fixed.
“X is a troll” is just libspeak for “X showed up, slung bullshit talking points, demonstrated his anger issues and hatred of women, ignored all of the refutations of his moronic arguments, and then stamped his feet, cried and insisted he was speaking truth to power.”
FTFY.
I’m sure he’d have loved to work on your piece of garbage face.
UAW workers are hacks who can’t work in the real private sector, and want to get paid white collar wages for sub-standard blue collar work. Parasites all.
What the hell do you know about blue-collar work?
The same goes for all Unions, but especially the public sector Unions.
Unions are just labor monopolies who use FORCE backed by government power to extort money from the successful. It’s not different than the mob.
What high-roller private sector job do you have, John? I’m sure you’re considered the Michael Milken of the Slurpee machine.
Whatever it is, it likely involves a paper hat and a name tag.
No, those are the guys he calls “Sir”.
“John sed:
Haha John is trolling. Trolling John. Must be a bot haha!”
Notice how many people keep doing this instead of discussing the topic. Dipshits.
Right and wrong, my little slime mold. See, the topic, for the nonce, is dipshits. Moe correctly, the topic is a single dipshit – you.
I’m an engineer, asswpies, and no I won’t tell you where I work you fucking stalker creeps.
You mean they haven’t replaced you with an H1-B visa yet?
And all the world will love you just as long, just as long as you are.
“X is a troll” is just libspeak for “Help! I’m losing the argument to X!”
Let’s examine some of John’s well-thought-out and intelligently presented arguments, shall we?
“Assmunch”
“Dipshit”
“lib moron.”
“Obambi.”
John, you got exactly the responses your “argument” deserved. Now fuck off.
(While others are keeping the troll busy…)
Jennifer:
Agree with your idea that roughly a quarter of the nation of the country is nutz/reactionary/etc. But in my HO it’s psychologically-based and implacable. No matter how much they were to get what they demand, they’d always find something or someone to:
a. feel victimized by
b. complain about
c. feel indignant about
That’s why they can’t be “reasoned with.” Reason has nothing to do with it. Their positions are nonsensical, self-contradictory, self-defeating, and insane because they’re based on deep emotions of which they have not the slightest understanding.
Cf….why, cf. our very own current troll.
Don’t you think?
Now Imma cowboy! Ptchew, ptchew! An’ now Imma spaceman! VROOOOM!
True.
It’s not like they weren’t angry and feeling persecuted back when they controlled all branches of government.
John works in our engineering department. Unfortunately his efforts at feeding the people… have not yet made it to market, due to draconian federal regulations.
John, if you continue disparaging stalker creeps I will have to insist you delete all of your porn featuring me.
It’s not like they weren’t angry and feeling persecuted back when they controlled all branches of government.
In some ways it’s attributable to the changes brought about by the women’s lib and civil rights movements: they see the entire world as a zero-sum game and anyone else improving their circumstances must mean they’ve lost. (Note that white men have lost relatively by others’ gains, which is not the same thing as losing absolutely – the ability to distinguish between these two depends on high-school level logic and is therefore inaccessible to the crowd we’re discussing.)
On the other hand, I’m sure they had something to complain about pre-1963. To steal the punchline of an old joke, some people would rather have their grievance.
Hmm, troll is pushing personal buttons with some posters. This indicates someone who understands the real purpose of trolling, in the sense of what that word actually means.
Best just to keep laughing at it.
But in my HO it’s psychologically-based and implacable.
This is exactly right, but it’s also no reason to despair. I imagine it’s true in nearly every society. I have been of the opinion for quite a while that we’re lucky it’s only around 25%.
It is dumb. Bambi was a buck.
I could never understand that (same thing with strippers and drag queens naming themselves “Bambi”.) Remember the final scene of the movie, where Bambi is all grown up and taken his father’s place as the king of the forest? He’s a tall, proud, very MALE buck with a huge rack of horns – as macho as can be. But somehow, the name “Bambi” got associated with “faggy-girlie”.
Wait, I’m asking wingnut logic to make sense. Never mind…
I like assw pie!
Remember the final scene of the movie, where Bambi is all grown up and taken his father’s place as the king of the forest? He’s a tall, proud, very MALE buck with a huge rack of horns – as macho as can be. But somehow, the name “Bambi” got associated with “faggy-girlie”.
You’re missing an obvious possibility involving hidden same-sex and furry desires.
Y’all be nice to John. When he gets tired of trolling websites, he’ll have nothing else to entertain him but buying up fertilizer and fuel oil.
Nuh-uh, ‘cuz now Imma secret agent man.
We demand once again that wingnuts cease and desist characterizing members of our organization as human beings rather than what we are: that is, sentient beings that inhabit their colons.
We really should get into another discussion about why conservatives aren’t nearly as humorous and clever as liberals. The last one seemed unfinished.
A scene-by-scene dissection of The 1/2 Hour News is in order.
That’s okay. As we used to say on the seismic lines, we’re not building the Eiffel Tower.
My
grillgrid! It must be perfect!Scott said,
May 3, 2009 at 18:47
Y’all be nice to John. When he gets tired of trolling websites, he’ll have nothing else to entertain him but buying up fertilizer and fuel oil.
===========================================================
Not this one. As someone pointed out yesterday when it waved off people being pushed out of helicopters because plenty of folks want to go sky-diving, there is not an ounce of sincere right-wingnitude to it.
It would hardly surprise me if it wasn’t one of our long time parody trolls. (Syntax presumes the existence of more than one, for which fact I have no evidence.)
As someone pointed out yesterday when it waved off people being pushed out of helicopters because plenty of folks want to go sky-diving, there is not an ounce of sincere right-wingnitude to it.
I don’t think that’s conclusive. I’ve seen plenty of libertarians make equivalencies just as false, without a hint of irony.
…then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a parody troll either.
While John Troll is frantically searching his RNC Talking Points handbook, out of a sense of gentlemanly kindness, I would suggest looking under ” “Tips for dickhead ass-wipe trolls (page 137 I think) which says and I quote “Listen to gocart mozart douchebag !”
Here’s a sincere wingnut parodying himself:
Instead of mocking Miss Prejean, the [Left?] would do well to consider the wisdom of a titan of another sort: “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” The more they attempt to strike her down, the stronger she becomes.
Seems Gay Patriot is saying if you’re mean to Ms. Prejean, she’s going go Obi-Wan Kenobi all over your Lefty behinds.
I’m an engineer, asswpies
[consulting memory]
He might be telling the truth.
I would just like to bring up a theory that comes to mind every time the “ticking time bomb” scenario is mentioned. It seems to me that if I had information on a bomb that was set to go off in an hour or even say a couple of days, torture would not work. Torture tends to work best over time. If I knew, as a torture victim, that I just had to hold out for a couple of days before that bomb went off it seems it would only strengthen my resolve to do so. The more I am tortured the stronger would be my belief that “these people” deserve to die and after the bomb goes off there will no longer be anything they can gain by torturing me.
Gay PutzRiot. Lord love ’em.
While much has been made about Obama’s first 100 days, not enough has been said about the GOP’s last 100.
Seriously, Sirius, all you’d have to do is feed your interrogators false info for that hour or so. Figure what you have to say to get the torture to stop–oh wait, that’s how all torture works: “Iraq planned 9/11! UBL ♥ Saddam!”
Instead of mocking Miss Prejean, the [Left?] would do well to consider the wisdom of a titan of another sort: “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”
Ah, yes. The savior of the Republican party will be a Beauty Queen. The Palin-Prejean cage match is breathlessly anticipated.
The Palin-Prejean cage match is breathlessly anticipated.
The prize is the Republican Nom-nom-nomination, and Joe the Plumber’s hand in marriage.
every time the “ticking time bomb” scenario is mentioned. It seems to me that if I had information on a bomb that was set to go off in an hour
Seems to me that any intelligent bomb-setter would gladly inform the people interrogating him that the bomb is located in the third-floor coin lockers in Grand Central Station, number 3876. Then when they promptly dispatch people to Grand Central, just in time for its 0:03 discovery, he would feel a sense of accomplishment, knowing its really in locker number 9543 in Pennsylvania Station.
But, uh, torture really works….
Joe the Plumber’s hand in marriage.
Las Vegas ringside wedding, too!
“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”
With a little help from her friends.
Strangely, though, I don’t think that excites conservatives as much as thinking about movies with tanned muscular “Greeks” wearing no shirts and leather ‘thong’ underwear jumping in the air and fighting 7 foot tall dark Persians.
OT – The Meat Puppets explain what happened to Jack Kemp.
Question: if wingnuts opt to prosyletize in favor of the use of torture – which was a favorite pastime of the Gestapo – does this choice then render them Godwin-proof?
In other words, does it make any sense any more to say that someone is like a Nazi when they’re openly & enthusiastically advocating one of the most barbaric aspects of actual Nazi methodology?
(You know who ELSE asked ironic questions, don’t you?)
With a little help from her friends.
I was hoping for X-tra applause for “Republican Nom-nom-nomination”.
Oh, I liked it. I didn’t see it until after I posted my comment.
You mean I missed “taxes are illegal confiscation unless they go to killing furriners” John? What. A. Shame.
Not.
Barack Obama is graciously willing to bet your life on his ideology
Yeah, I’ll be real pissed when Obama gets a PDB telling him terrorists are determined to attack the US and might be planning to ram planes into buildings and ignores it with a breezy “you’ve covered your ass” and declares war on shrubbery, and when terrorists do attack he’ll fly around the country in a blank panic, then send thousands off to die in some other, unrelated country. The stuck-up bastard.
Taxation isn’t theft. It ain’t.
I was hoping for X-tra applause for “Republican Nom-nom-nomination”.
*purr*
Others in the intelligence community beg to differ with Michael Scheuer, but I don’t suppose fair and balanced Yank would give them due consideration.
… all over your Lefty behinds.
ITTDGY, waz you being making a Gay-Pay-Oooh frottage hummerousness?
We lieks it!
Let teh Troll Rapture begginz!
Taxation isn’t theft. It ain’t.
Well, YOU know that and I know that but try convincing a Libertarian asswad like John that.
Scheuer’s WaPo op-ed last week was one of the most rabid, counterfactual torture apologists pieces I’ve yet seen. I can buy that in part, he’s a sincere zealot, but that piece was bullying bullshit, and ignored the findings of the CIA IG, among other things, while screaming, screaming that it’s not our opinion, we know, know that torture has saved lives. Oh, and he also thunders about anyone daring to impugn the honor of proven liars and consistent ass-coverers Hayden and Mukasey. Some of his older work may have its value, but I’m not convinced with the new stuff it’s an efficient use of time picking out the few credible insights from the giant pile of McCarthyist-Bircher shit he’s serving up.
My moral theodolite stopped working when I became an atheist.
That Confederate Yankee feller shore is a fine-lookin’ man.
Given that Al Qaeda is less of a top-down, crime family sort of organization, and more of a loose confederation of like-minded militants who share funding, I’m not entirely sure bin Laden would even know exactly where and when a nuclear bomb might be detonated. It would depend on how much very recent contact he’d had with the actual planner of the attack, which might be very little. Particularly if bin Laden’s dead. Puts a real damper on the whole collaboration thing.
Also, is anyone else getting the feeling that “arrogance” is just code for “this very intelligent black man makes my penis feel tiny”??
I’m not trying to convince anyone by stating that “taxation isn’t theft — it ain’t” — I’m mimicking the grand testimony style of the propertaritards who think they can vomit out any pseudo-philosophy and it be the responsibility of others to dissent from what they believe an unchallengeable axiom.
thurber reference +1
thurber link +1
There is an assumption being made here that the use of torture is to get information when it is probably better described as “Wanting to torture the fuck outta some people”.
If we don’t torture them, how will we know whether to cut the blue wire or the red wire one second before WE GO TO COMMERCIAL.
I’m still stuck on the “American Jacobin” comment. Um, weren’t the Jacobins really, really good at defending their country against its enemies, both foreign invaders and domestic insurrectionists (many in the pay of foreign powers)?
True I can’t support their positions on capital punishment, conscription, and church burning, but come on. Scheuer should want Jacobins in charge (maybe minus the church burning and beheading of elites).
Kind of like watching a Velociraptor pack attacked a Stegosaurus. Fascinating, but you don’t want to get too close.
Resurrecting the thread because I just cannot let this go unopposed:
Velociraptors lived in the Late Cretaceous, Stegosaurs in the Late Jurassic. GET IT STRAIGHT!!11!!!1!
WOLVERINES!!!!THEROPODS!!11!!!Whew, my inner geek can get- how you say- difficult. I’ll try to rein him in with some Scotch.