I’m probably one of the last people in America who has never seen an episode of The Simpsons. I’ve heard it’s a funny show. But is this really the sort of achievement that we should use postage stamps to commemorate?

Perhaps you should watch the show before judging its cultural relevance, you enormous philistine. Don’t worry, they’ll release a corndog stamp before you know it.

The shorter makes more sense than the original.

I can’t find the This Modern World strip online (it was apparently never published, but it’s in the Big Book of Tomorrow), but in 2000 the US Postal Service released “’90s stamps” featuring such cultural touchstones as Jurassic Park, SUVs, and virtual reality headsets.

Yes, SUVs. There was an SUV stamp.

Yes, SUVs. There was an SUV stamp.

Certainly a cultural touchstone of the 90s. Also, unfortunately, a cultural touchstone of the 2000s – even more so, given their simultaneous symbolizing of brainless aggression and “security mom” paranoia.

Hinderaker:

I realize that postage stamps are not issued, these days, with the same serious intent as when they featured George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and so on.

Buy online:

On February 9, 2009, in Springfield, Illinois, the Postal Service™ issued a 42–cent, Abraham Lincoln commemorative stamp in four designs[.]

They’ve also got a Bob Hope coming out later this year. Maybe John will be satisfied with that.

I realize that the Powerline blog is not read, these days, with the same serious intent as when Bush was in power and so on. But really–Powerline?

I’m probably one of the last people commenting on Sadly No! who has never read a day’s worth of Powerline posts. I’ve heard it’s a funny show. But is this really the sort of blog that the Sadly No! Labs want to commemorate?

Angy Assrocket is angry.

Maybe he should go over to The Corner and argue with the Doughy Pantload about whether Jesus could beat up the starship Enterprise.

I realize that the Powerline blog is not read, these days, with the same serious intent as when Bush was in power and so on. But really–Powerline?

hee hee hee

nice.

Shorter Shorter Capt. Corndog:

I’m a humorless cobag who lives under a rock.

Seriously, the show runs nightly on every FOX affiliate in the country and has for years. FFS, the show is older than some of the people driving tanks in Iraq and Afghanistan. What planet does this guy live on?

I’m probably one of the last people in America who has never seen an episode of The Simpsons. I’ve heard it’s a funny show. But is this really the sort of achievement that we should use postage stamps to commemorate?

In Capitalist America, The Simpsons laugh at you.

HAHA

My stamps have the Liberty Bell on them, so it’s not like anyone is forced to use cartoon stamps. And yeah, they did Disney already, most recently in 2006. Walt himself was honored on a stamp in 1968.

thetragicsongwildfire said,

I realize the day is young and no one dare predict what may happen next, but for now, this is my favorite new nom de blog — it calls up everything that was both stupid and sweet about high school*. And it’s infinitely pleasanter to think about than cartoon Assrocket biting into what appears to be a cartoon doggie penis.

* Yes, I’m old.

Forever Stamps are untrustworthy because they refuse to obey the laws of the market. Plus, they remind me of Ralph, which makes them dirty.

And it’s infinitely pleasanter to think about than cartoon Assrocket biting into what appears to be a cartoon doggie penis.

On that note…

My stamps have the Liberty Bell on them, so it’s not like anyone is forced to use cartoon stamps.

I’m betting that Righteous Bubba is waiting for fursuit stamps.

Who the fuck still uses stamps anyway?

Hindy needs to team up with George F. Will to complain about blue jeans and the sanctity of the Great American Stamp.

In terms of cultural influence on the young people nowadays, I’ll be waiting for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer stamps.

here’s an idea! let’s protest torture @ the 4th of july tea parties!

Gee skippy, you’re late to the party. That idea was put around last night. Not that it’s not a good one but…my understanding is that there aren’t going to be 4th of July teabaggings, because obviously no one would pay any attention to them. I think the next teabagging date that’s set is 9/12, ala Glenn Beck.

Skippy, I luv ya man, but the 4th of July tea-parties are going to go down in flames. It’s a national holiday with picnics, lake and pool splashing, and staying up late simply because it takes time for crowds and traffic to thin out after fireworks displays, etc. No one except the hysteria-prone is going to participate in those reindeer games. There is simply no good reason to organize a push-back for something that is going to be epic fail.

Just my two cents.

Oh, and Mortician, I too remember Wildfire with a tinge of high school bittersweet.

What next, Mallard Fillmore?

Guess he liked the Marvel Superheroes stamps of 2007 and the DC superhero stamps of 2006 just fine. (I was partial to the Universal Monsters stamps of 1997 myself.)

I believe this was covered in a Simpson’s episode once: http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/gallery/image.php?image=screenshots/lists/news_198.jpg

Eugh, that picture reminds me of “Bart the General”

You go, Kiwis!
(Just heard author Frank Wisner being interviewed on Bob Edwards Weekend.)

the Simpsonalized Hinderaker is genius.

qstn t ll th lbs wh fvr “nvrsl” sclzd hlthcr–

Why shld b frcd t py fr sm ft dt tht smks fv pcks dy, s vrwght, nd nvr xrcss? Why shld b frcd t th pnt f gn t py fr hs hlth cr whn h ddn’t tk prsnl rspnsblty fr hs wn ctns? s tht rlly fr?

McCurdle is da troof?

Once we have universal coverage these guys will be rooting for eugenics and euthenasia, it never ends.

I was only eight and I still cringe over wildfire.

Purple monkey dishwasher!! Now what, socialist pigs?

Add italics to ‘wildfire,’ shake well.

Purple monkey dishwasher!!

I wholeheartedly agree. ‘Nuf said.

Is this seriously the first stamp-with-frivolous-shit-on-it that this guy has ever seen?

I mean, they’ve been making novelty stamps since… since… probably before HE was born. He’s really shocked by this?

The President is a Demmy-crat!

I am strongly in favor of dish washing monkeys, no matter what color they are: to me a rhesus who rinses is raceless.

But is this really the sort of achievement that we should use postage stamps to commemorate?-

A billion dollar business isn’t good enough for you, comrade.

I, for one, welcome the return of our disemvoweling overlords.

Wait. Hinderaker has never seen the Simpson’s but he has a well documented history of watching every beauty pageant that comes down the pike? He even fucking handicaps them. “Miss Brazil is an odds on favorite to win with pressure from Miss Norway from close behind which is probably sounds dirtier than it’s supposed to be. You get my point. Also.

I’m probably one of the last people in America who has never seen an episode of The Simpsons. I’ve heard it’s a funny show. But am I really the sort of person that should be commenting on life in America?

shorter shorter

I believe ranting about stamps is a sign of senility.

Back then we had onions on our stamps, which was the style at the time…

Blah, blah, blah. You know – and I know – that this asswipe has watched The Simpsons before, he is just trying to be some sort of elitist snob that is far too intelligent to ever watch the telly in general, much less anything as blue-collar as The Simpsons. But everyone – and I am sure this even applies to his reader/supporters – knows that he is full of shit. After all, if he hasn’t seen The Simpsons, this would make me think he is grossly disconnected from the American public.

Then again, he is a Republican, so perhaps he really is that disconnected from his country and fellow citizens.

Hinderaker is more like Abe than Homer. Although I can see the resemblance when he scarf down a corndog.

I’m probably one of the last people in America who has never seen an episode of The Simpsons.

Uh, try the world. When I was in Caracas they were broadcasting it. Though the spanish voiceovers were a little disconcerting, it was still funny! Oh. The spanish word for Doh! —— Doh!

Old man yells at stamps.

Hinderaker has never seen the Simpson’s but he has a well documented history of watching every beauty pageant that comes down the pike?

Well yeah, but he wouldn’t mind moistening the back of one of those stamps, self-adhesive be damned.

somebody tell him that stamps are approved several years in advance, so that it was the Bush admin that approved these stamps…

the USPS also had an Ayn Rand stamp a few years back (shudder)

Why does this remind me of an out-of-touch President who once said:

“We are going to keep on trying to strengthen the American family, to make American families a lot more like the Waltons and a lot less like the Simpsons”

Percyprune,

In all fairness, that out-of-touch President’s son tried his darndest to make American families a lot more like the Waltons.

Income wise, that is.

Alternate shorter-by-West-Wing-quote:

“The process by which a stamp enters circulation begins with the American Public… ”
“Well, that’s always our first mistake.”

Mickey? Check. Elvis? Been done.

Seriously, nobody had better tell Teh Hindparts about this or this, lest his widdwe head expwode.

Grrr, preview is being rather selective at the moment. FYWP

I’m probably one of the last people in America who has never eaten an ice cream cone. I’ve heard it’s a yummy treat. But should that stop me from questioning the taste, sanity and patriotism of everyone who enjoys ice cream cones?

I think there should be a John Hinderaker postage stamp, since everything he has to say that’s worth reading could fit on one.

I suspect the Buttrocket is trying to go head to head with George Will vying for the PeeYewlitzer Cultural Irrelevance prize.

woah i wasn’t here last nite i was @ a bday party for a friend turning 40.

i am not so sure the tea bagging parties are going down in flames, tho i wish they would. if we could dilute them somehow, we could help that process.

Custom stamps TOS.

In using this Site, you agree to not:

1. upload, download, post, email or otherwise transmit any materials including but not limited to text, data, photos, graphics, stitch files, or any of these elements in combination as a design for products available on this Site or otherwise (“Content”) that are unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, vulgar, harassing, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, profane, indecent, inflammatory, libelous, tortious, hateful, racially, ethnically, socially, politically, legally, morally, religiously objectionable or otherwise objectionable, or invasive of another’s rights including but not limited to rights of celebrity, privacy and intellectual property.

They took all the fun out of it!

Bonus points to anyone who can design a single stamp that violates every single one of those conditions.

skippy – to clarify: no one thinks counter-protests organized in support of enforcing the RULE OF LAW and held on the same day as teabagging events is a bad idea. It’s such a good idea, in fact, that it’s been proposed and discussed here, at least briefly. To be sure, there will be more teabagging – it’s just questionable that it will occur on July 4. The teabaggers jumped on the idea of July 4 during/immediately following their epic teabag fail on April 15; unfortunately, unlike their failure to catch on to the fact that “teabagging” does not mean what they thought it meant, they seemed to pretty quickly figure out that pity parties staged on July 4 would likely draw few people and even less press, for the simple fact that very few people care about what a bunch of losers are doing on a day devoted to barbeque, beer drinking and fireworks, all of which are vastly more satisfying and entertaining than joining in with/making fun of a bunch of losers. So now they’re chatting about holding back on more teabagging until 9/12, the Glenn Beck date of choice.

Whenever they do it, 9/12 or any other date – which being a bunch of sore losers, they will – I and others agree: they should be met with overwhelming numbers of sane people, protesting in favor of accountabilty for torturers.

Custom stamps TOS.
Customised banknotes with vanity serial numbers, plz.

And while I’m on the subject, why is there no 95 ¢ coin? It would simplify my retail transactions immensely.

@ PeeJ:

Who the fuck still uses stamps anyway?

Well, in Washington we have to since we went absentee-ballot only. In Oregon, they at first put them in prepaid envelopes, but the Republicans sued to make them stop it. They called it “buying votes.” So now, we have to have stamps to vote. That’s also why the Republicans want the USPS to die off.

Stitch files?

What are “stitch files”? Do I have them? How would I know?

Wouldn’t you have to buy them at iStitch?

mikey

Forty-two years ago Hinderaker’s spiritual ancestors were kvetching about the Henry David Thoreau stamp because it looked like a dirty fucking hippie.

Bonus points to anyone who can design a single stamp that violates every single one of those conditions.

That’s easy! A picture of George W. Bush (wearing a yarmulke and sidelocks) ass-raping the Pope while they watch an illegally-downloaded copy of Birth of a Nation>/i>.

O Jesus! Oh Lord! Jesus, Lord, I beg of you, Lead us to the Starship Enterprise! No, leave us not here amoung the Liberals, but lead us away to where the Old West meets WW2 and becomes the future! There, Oh Lord, we will find surcease and succor. So let’s go, already!

In Oregon, they at first put them in prepaid envelopes, but the Republicans sued to make them stop it.

So, basically, it’s a poll tax. A small one, mind you, but a poll tax nonetheless. Of course the Pubes wanted that.

To be fair, Thoreau was a dirty fucking hippie.

Also, close, but I’m pretty sure Birth of a Nation is public domain at this point.

“the USPS also had an Ayn Rand stamp a few years back (shudder)”

Oh, fuck no. Just…no. I cannot exist in a reality where this is true.

Doing the next teabag show on September twelfth is shorthand for “never gonna happen”. All the pre-publicity on fox and cnn and they still ended up with single A baseball attendance numbers. Donuts to pantloads, psycho beck finds some other concept to tie to 9/12 and they tack the teabags on (ha ha) as an afterthought.

This guy may never have watched “The Simpsons,” but he should seriously consider going to see “Adventureland.” I guarantee he’ll never want to look at a corn dog again.

Why G W Bush turned out so bad–he didn’t get enough mother love. In fact, his mother never even looked at him, much less hugged him.

“In the October 1, 1990, edition of People, Barbara Bush called The Simpsons “the dumbest thing [she] had ever seen” . . . .”
Two Bad Neighbors

Oh, and Thoreau was an annoying weenie.

Barbara Bush called The Simpsons “the dumbest thing [she] had ever seen” . . . .”

Cowalker has a point. Clearly she wasn’t paying attention to her immediate environment.

In Oregon, they at first put them in prepaid envelopes, but the Republicans sued to make them stop it.

So, basically, it’s a poll tax. A small one, mind you, but a poll tax nonetheless. Of course the Pubes wanted that.

Well, here in King County, which handles more ballots than any other county in the country except LA county, there are exactly 10 places you can drop off your ballot without using a stamp. So it all depends on whether you have a car, or how much gas you’re going to burn getting to one of them (< a stamp? Doubtful.) If you take a few hours on a bus to hand in your ballot, it’s at least $1.50, assuming you can return on the same fare.

Behold a Paraguayan stamp depicting Rutherford B. Hayes sprinkling sand on a smashed watermelon.

Smut ‘6ULDV8’ Clyde sez:

And while I’m on the subject, why is there no 95 ¢ coin?

First off, we have to decide whose likeness to put on the front of the coin. Since it will quickly become nicknamed the “Dollar Short” coin —- that pretty much narrows the list of ex-presidents down to one.

I’d be surprised if we don’t see any more teabagging until September, given the average right-wing attention span.

What planet does this guy live on?

Planet “Assrocketisagoddamnliar.”

It’s all been downhill since they put ole ‘wooden teeth’ George on a stamp!

Oregon has ballot dropoff boxes galore. The “any government agency” I use is the main library. They also have boxes in many other places. For example, last years list included:
A-BOY SUPPLY
7365 SW Barbur Boulevard

GOODWILL STORE
3134 North Lombard Street

MCDONALD’S RESTAURANT
West side of NE 40th Avenue
between NE Tillamook and NE Hancock
(Near the Hollywood Branch Library.)

And so on.

FYWP. Also.

Hmmm. I need to look into A-BOY Supply. Though it’s probably not what I’m thinking A-BOY Supply ought to be.

Oh, fuck no. Just…no. I cannot exist in a reality where this is true.

Repeat after me: “I reject your reality and substitute my own!”

M1k3y,
A stitch file is code which programs embroidery machines.

My stamps have what appear to be sunflowers on them. What’s next?

It’s like my grandmother used to say. A stitchin’ file saves bile, or something like that.

…a Paraguayan stamp depicting Rutherford B. Hayes sprinkling sand on a smashed watermelon

yours for only 1.000 guaraní (..damn, I’m 0.003 guaraní short!)

And while I’m on the subject, why is there no 95¢ coin? It would simplify my retail transactions immensely.

Not the point. 99¢ pricing is the result of the cash register. Apparently pricing things at $1.99 instead of $2.00 makes it harder for retail employees trying to get a living wage from the boss to pocket cash from the register.

http://www.usps.com/communications/news/stamps/2006/sr06_020.htm

Mickey Mouse has already been done.

But they haven’t done Itchy and Scratchy yet.

My stamps have what appear to be sunflowers on them. What’s next?
A series of stamps featuring amusingly-shaped root vegetables.

‘Tortious’ is my new word of the day. AVE TORTIOUS CAESAR!

A stitch file is code which programs embroidery machines.
An itch file is code which programs tattooing machines. If not, it should be.

Smut Clyde said,
April 27, 2009 at 0:26
A stitch file is code which programs embroidery machines.
An itch file is code which programs tattooing machines. If not, it should be.

Tatts are so passe. The in thing now is getting your flesh embroidered. They’re much easier to remove, just takes a seam ripper.

But they haven’t done Itchy and Scratchy yet.

I’d buy sheets of Frink stamps if they were available. Flaven.

TORTIOUS CAESAR will see you now.
Take some lettuce.

I used to be a liberal, until I bought a sheet of blotter acid and find it stamped with scenes from the Sistine Chapel. OUTRAGE!!

The Rand stamp came out in 1999. UGH. She turned out to be a stamp collector as well. Frankly I figured her for a gold coin type myself..

http://www.artonstamps.org/champs/ayn-rand.htm

I used to be a liberal, until I found out that they use stamps in Chappaquiddick.

Take THAT, libs!

“We are going to keep on trying to strengthen the American family, to make American families a lot more like the Waltons and a lot less like the Simpsons”

Do you remember their rejoinder? There was a little segment showing the Simpsons watching Bush say that on TV, then Bart said “Hey, man, we’re just like the Waltons – just trying to get through the Depression.”

Smut Clyde said,

April 27, 2009 at 0:40

I used to be a liberal, until I bought a sheet of blotter acid and find it stamped with scenes from the Sistine Chapel. OUTRAGE!!

Blotter acid, ehh?

And here I had an image of the S.C. family resembling the Beaver family, starring S.C. himself as Ward.

Custom Assrocket / corndog stamps, pls.

And here I had an image of the S.C. family resembling the wearing Beaver family fur-suits.
With detachable gonads.

Smut Clyde said,

April 27, 2009 at 1:22

And here I had an image of the S.C. family resembling the wearing Beaver family fur-suits.
With detachable gonads.
=======================================================
Without pictures, this claim seems improbable, sir.

With detachable gonads.

IN various sizes.

And colors.

With velcro™ attachements…

mikey

TORTIOUS CAESAR
will see you now
Don’t forget the lettuce

TORTIOUS CAESAR will see you now. Don’t forget the lettuce.

With detachable gonads.
IN various sizes.
And colors.
With velcro™ attachements…

There at least I can provide documentary photographic evidence.
Unexpectedly, Teh Great Gazoogle reckons that Cleaver seed makes an excellent coffee substitute if dried and ground up. I am not inclined to test this assertion.

TORTIOUS CAESAR will see you now.
You cannot fool me sir. That is Peter O’Toole in make-up for the role of Tiberius.

With detachable gonads.
IN various sizes.
And colors.

Including (it goes without saying) a novelty salt-and-pepper shaker.
You do not want to know about the salad-dressing dispenser.

Those are some fluffy balls, S.C.

I have to grant you that.

With detachable gonads.

You know, I really had never looked at the rest of that Bestiary (the bocannon was enough, frankly) but the entry on beavers is awsome.

I can just see a beaver flashing a hunter a full-on buffalo shot: “YO, dumbass, ALREADY BIT THEM OFF! Back off, dude!”

I still like the look on the fact of the bocannon guy, though – that’s how you expect someone who’s being sprayed with flaming poo to look.

You do not want to know about the salad-dressing dispenser.

I’ll never look at oil & vinegar in the same way ever again.

uh… I mean bonnacon.

One glass of wine and look at me – wrecked! Wrecked like a K-Mart knockoff Althouse!

With detachable gonads.

I see.

You can just substitute “Da tortious Caesar” for the backing vox if you want.

My detachable penis. Let me show you it.

You do not want to know about the salad-dressing dispenser.

Manual pump, like the condiments (sorry) at the ball game (sorry again), or electric feed with half-inch clear tubing feeding out of overhead storage tanks?

mikey

99¢ pricing is the result of the cash register. Apparently pricing things at $1.99 instead of $2.00 makes it harder for retail employees trying to get a living wage from the boss to pocket cash from the register.

Sadly, no. The first cash registers didn’t even register anything as small as a penny, and were mostly used in bars. The cash register itself was designed to keep staff from pocketing money, though. Story from ~100 years ago was that a clerk was accused of stealing $20 and fired, all the while protesting he didn’t steal anything. The $20 was found behind the drawer a while later when a mechanic repaired the machine. Dunno what happened to the clerk. Probably was run out of town or something.

I would kill for Ren and Stimpy stamps.

Fuck the Simpsons. That show hasn’t been funny or relevant for years.

Fuck the Simpsons. That show hasn’t been funny or relevant for years.

Oh, come on now. I agree that the writers have been mailing it in, increasingly over the last, errr, decade or so but there are few things in life I enjoy than sitting down to eat a meal while watching old (pre-season 8-9 or so) episodes of The Simpsons.

…there are few things in life I enjoy than sitting down to eat a meal while watching old (pre-season 8-9 or so) episodes of The Simpsons.

Point taken– now I’m reminiscing about the monorail episode, which was one of the BEST THINGS EVAR!

there are few things in life I enjoy than sitting down to eat a meal while watching old (pre-season 8-9 or so) episodes of The Simpsons.

Even more than Courtney Love interviews on VH1?

mikey

Gun episode. Homer for Sanitation Commissioner.

I’d like to see stamps honoring some of the 60’s and 70’s TV detective
shows -like Mannix, Ironside, Longstreet and Hawaii 50.
just bucase it would be even weirder than Ayn Rand.

Gun episode.

Wasn’t that when they shopped at Blood Bath and Beyond?

As far as I’m concerned, you can coast for a half-dozen episodes after a gag as brilliant as that.

Homer Thinks Bart’s Gay with John Waters = Best Simpsons Evar!

The Sha-Boom Ka-Boom Cafe
“Name me one gay indian!”
“Now Bart, it’s time to Kill Rudolph.”
“Bunch of men, hanging around in the forest…sounds gay to me.”
“Camp? It’s something that’s tragically ludicrous or the ludicrously tragic.” “Oh, yeah, like when a clown dies.”
“Keep the hat. You’ll need it when it starts raining naked ladies.”
Marge: “Homer, he prefers the company of men.” Homer: “Who doesn’t?”

professor fate said,
April 27, 2009 at 5:23

I’d like to see stamps honoring some of the 60’s and 70’s TV detective
shows -like Mannix, Ironside, Longstreet and Hawaii 50.
just bucase it would be even weirder than Ayn Rand.

Those shows were Fred Wiseman documentaries compared to Atlas Shrugged.

whether Jesus could beat up the starship Enterprise.

I’ve been waiting DECADES for somebody to do a “Mannix” remake.

But nobody else seems to care.

His assistant was a hot Black chick — in a co-starring role, not the shoved onto the back of the set like an extra Uhuru. Same year, 1967.

Don’t recall if they ever made out though. Not like you ever saw Kirk and Uhuru actually TOUCH LIPS, either.

Not like you ever saw Kirk and Uhuru actually TOUCH LIPS, either.

Not true. In the Platonian episode, they did. Of course, they were being telekinetically forced to.

The network was geared up for all sorts of calls and hate mail about it, but they didn’t get any.

Quote of the Century
Principal Skinner (trapped in Volley ball sack) “You did it Nibbles!, now chew through my ball sack!

And here I had an image of the S.C. family wearing Beaver fur-suits.
With detachable gonads.
=======================================================
Without pictures, this claim seems improbable, sir.

I rest my case, and await ITTDGY’s apology.

So what is torture? There is no definition of torture anywhere that I can find.

And indeed, what is truth? There is no definition of truth anywhere that I can find.
Excuse me while I wash my hands.

And indeed, what is truth? There is no definition of truth anywhere that I can find.
Excuse me while I wash my hands.

Dick Cheney said:“Anyone got the hand-sanitizer?”

Old man yells at stamps.

Thunder wins.

I must apologize then, S.C.

For winning!!!1one!

There at least I can provide documentary photographic evidence.

It appears that you have aphids.

Solid Rectal Booster’s little screed here reminds me of all the people who were up in arms over all the silly names given various Martian objects during the Pathfinder/Sojourner mission. It evidently never occurred to those taking offense that the features being given names like “Snoopy” were, you know, rocks. Small ones. Like in your back yard, if you have rocks in your back yard. Or in your head, like SRB up there.

The Simpsons are an intact nuclear family with a working father and stay-at-home mom and they go to church every Sunday. I wager Hindy doesn’t know this.

Also, BEE = “Homer the Smithers”

HOMER: Morning Mr. Burns, here’s your messages.

“You have 30 minutes to move your car.”

“You have 10 minutes to move your car.”

“Your car has been impounded.”

“Your car has been crushed into a cube.”

“You have 30 minutes to move your cube.”

PHONE RINGS

HOMER: Yello, Mr. Burns’ office.

BURNS: Is it about my cube?

“Skippy, I luv ya man, but the 4th of July tea-parties are going to go down in flames. It’s a national holiday with picnics, lake and pool splashing, and staying up late simply because it takes time for crowds and traffic to thin out after fireworks displays, etc.”

My assumption (and it was literally that — an assumption backed up by nothing much, so obviously take it in that spirit) was that that was eactly the point. Imagine the numbers on that night’s Fox news shows! The July 4th Teabag Party at Jones Beach is reported to have attracted over a million people (albeit most of them in bathing suits)!! The Teabag Party planned around the Macy’s Fireworks display later that evening? A staggering 3.2 million in attendance, and that’s to say nothing of the tens of millions more who watched it live on television! And so on and so on.

Why would this not work? (I’m quite serious, by the way). Why would the people who want to believe that protests have already been a rip-roaring success not believe that they were an even bigger success on the 4th? I mean, sure, everyone else would be laughing their asses off, but they’re doing that already. What would be the difference?

It appears that you have aphids.
They’re beetles. Have you been doing Substance D again?

Either way you should have an entomologist check your nuts for honeydew loss or beetle damage or what have you. Good thing they’re detachable!

BART: Did you know there was going to be a riot dad?

HOMER: Yeah boy, when you’ve been to as many as I have, you can pretty much see them coming.

And take Archie Bunker’s chair and Fonzie’s jacket out of the Smithsonian while you’re at it!!