If overcompensating could only be transformed into electricity, this guy could solve the energy crisis.

But what’s even worse: Chavez is a turd-shaped bully we could destroy in our sleep

I can has explanation of “turd-shaped bully”? Because I’m getting the mental image of a snoring 800-pound Uncle Sam rolling over on to and accidentally squishing Hugo Chavez, who looks like Mr. Hanky, but with a parrot on his shoulder.

I’m not sure how this translates into foreign policy.

In reality, Obama & Chavez’ 2nd conversation apparently resulted in Chavez offering (without any conditions) the restoration of the diplomatic relations and exchange of ambassadors that he, Chavez, had withdrawn in a dispute with Bush Jr. over Bolivian claims that U.S. authorities (the U.S. Embassy) had been openly supporting movements seeking to break up Bolivia into separate states, led by two rich ‘states’ (secession, get it) opposed to the leftist elected Morales.

Later that weekend, Chavez and CITGO agreed to finalize their gift to the U.S. state of New Jersey a 400 acre island (Petty’s Island) as a brand new wildlife refuge, while CITGO agreed to finish removing its former refinery.

So, yeah, other than the restoration of normal diplomatic relations with an elected government which sells the U.S. vast quantities of oil and getting a free 400 acre island of prime territory for New Jersey, yeah, nothing came of the meeting, and Obama totally should have punched the former paratrooper Chavez.

Republicans: the party of self-indulgence and puerile simplicity.

McCain would have never shaken Chavez’s hand, nor accept his America-hating book.

No surprise BO does both, he says he “sought out” Marxist professors in college after all. Is Chavez really that much more radical than Ayers or Wright? Probably not. No surprise.

Also, Nixon would have never shaken Chairman Mao’s hand.

Also, Bush would have never shaken Chavez’s hand.

McCain would have never shaken Chavez’s hand, nor accept his America-hating book.

The guy who willingly broadcast commie propaganda, you mean.

El Cid, I hope you don’t mind, but I cribbed your post and used it over at The Daily Boy Guy’s (nym or description?) blog

Mao was the leader of a nation of a billion people with nuclear weapons, of course you’d shake his hand. Chavez is a nobody and a nothing, and shouldn’t be given the dignity of laughing and shaking hands with the President.

Till,
I think it means that the US could get rid of Chavez in its sleep, but would wake up covered in shit.

“The guy who willingly broadcast commie propaganda, you mean.”

No, I meant John McCain. Why are you dragging John Kerry into this?

Reagan totally punched Gorby in the head, that’s how he really got those red blotches. And Reagan’s blows caused the USSR to fall down and stuff.

hamid Karzai is a nobody and a nothing, and shouldn’t be given the dignity of laughing and shaking hands with the President.

Fixed yer post.

“Mao was the leader of a nation of a billion people with nuclear weapons, of course you’d shake his hand.”

Ahh, so you shake hands with people you’re scared of.

Careful, or else “Lone Wolf” Steven Crowder, the other manly-man tough guy over at Big Hollywood, might come beat you up.

Do these guys realize how utterly unconvincing they are?

Well, I was trying to read the unfiltered Sadly comments feed, but I see at least one person needs killfiling again.

Fuck, dude. If you can’t resist a weaksauce troll like this then you really are beyond redemption.

Troofie, Troofie, Troofie.

By your mad HTML skillz…..NOT!…shall we know thee.

Fuck, dude. If you can’t resist a weaksauce troll like this then you really are beyond redemption.

Which one of us you talking to?

I’m sure that he still pays bullies to do mean things to him.

I’m still ignoring the fact that Bush shook Chavez’ hand.

Bush didn’t smile like that, laugh, and accept a leftist book.

I’m sure that he still pays bullies to do mean things to him.

They might even involve bicycles. Or at least rubber.

Mmm. Yummy split hairs!

Just man up and admit Obama has embarassed us quite a few times overseas now.

I’m going to buy Chavez a bike and give him this guy’s address.

Bush didn’t smile like that, laugh, and accept a leftist book.

What would have been the point? Unless it was filled with pictures Chimpy would have had no use for it.

Obama’s inability to rip off his shirt, Hulkamania-style, and kick Chavez in the groin has proven to be an embarrassment for the United States.

The president shaking the hand of another world leader embarrasses me. I don’t have any self-esteem issues whatsoever.

Is this the right wing manufactured outrage of the week? I didn’t get the email from Murdoch.

I’m going to buy Chavez an eighteen wheeler bike and give him this guy’s address.

Fixed yer post.

Is this the right wing manufactured outrage of the week?

If only we could include this in the “durable goods sector” of our economic statistics, it would be like, “what recession?”

Is this the right wing manufactured outrage of the week?

Among people less emotionally mature than Nick Fury.

More PC-Police news:

Miss California denied Miss USA title because she said marriage should be between a man and a woman. How sickening they made her lose because she didn’t give the feel-good PC answer.

I’m surprised they haven’t gone with Obama’s bowing and handshaking A FUCKING DOG as a deliberate, calculated affront to the King of Saudi Arabia. The object/source of whingnutzy outrage is like Necker cubes, switching from front to back uncontrollably.

Or have they?

Yes, that Miss USA title is such an honor bestowed by a grateful nation on its citizens who bare arms for our freedom…

The real reason Miss California lost is because because she had toxic slime dripping from her skanky twat.

she had toxic slime dripping from her skanky twat.

I thought Donald Trump was happily married this time?

Chavez is a turd-shaped bully we could destroy in our sleep

I’m sure Monsieur Gutfeld thinks a bit too much about turds for anyone’s good.

Troll has migrated to the new thread, hoping the table-scraps are more plentiful here, which they are.

Miss California denied Miss USA title because she said marriage should be between a man and a woman. How sickening they made her lose because she didn’t give the feel-good PC answer.

I’m sure it would have been so much better if she had emulated our own Miss South Carolina and expressed a proper American PC patriotic ignorance of the most elementary geographical knowledge.

‘Cause after all Iran’s just south of Bakersfield California after all and unless we crush them they’ll be invading and forcing us all to wear mjanoons and hijabs and other silly made-up Araby things, right?

OM-NOM-NOM-NOM. Mmmmm, I can haz more now?

There’s a new thread?

I ain’t seeing it.

Probably DEAR KOMRADE LEEDER O’BAMA’S fault.

I took a dump this morning that looked just like Noriega

Yes, sometimes we feed the trolls. Shocking, I know, but we’re only human.

actor212: I don’t mind, but the nutsquad right will only see that as confirmation that Obama surrendered to / was bought out by Chavez. In their view, Obama should have told them that not only did he not need CITGO’s island, he was going to completely firebomb Perry’s Island as a warning to all leftist tyrants to not think the U.S. would be so cheaply bought, the movie “300”, manly, grasp, etc.

Talk about Epic Fails:

In America today, there are almost as many people making their living as bloggers as there are lawyers. Already more Americans are making their primary income from posting their opinions than Americans working as computer programmers or firefighters.

I’m guessing the American standard of living, according to the Wall Street Journal, now hovers somewhere around the wages Nike pays in Indonesia.

Mmm, gristle.

Actually, I don’t mind throwing the Trolls a morsel now and then. Sometime that’s the best part about S,N! What gets irritating is when the regulars act like they’re the ones who’re starving, desperately hoping a troll will show up and feed THEM! Some extra-chromosome ditto-head wanders in the door and it’s like watching a school of pirranhas skeletalizing a cow. Fer FSM’s sake, don’t be so desperate!

the American standard of living, according to the Wall Street Journal, now hovers somewhere around the wages Nike pays in Indonesia

I applied last week to sew soccer balls and they told me I was overqualified.

Some extra-chromosome ditto-head wanders in the door and it’s like watching a school of pirranhas skeletalizing a cow. Fer FSM’s sake, don’t be so desperate!

You’re just mad ’cause we’re not putting fresh cedar chips in the troll-cage every day like we promised we’d do when they followed us home.

Gutfield can’t help being disappointed by Obama acting like an adult abroad – wingnuts’ maturity is every bit as feeble as their reasoning or their awareness of history.

The Freepercorps are already nostalgic for a POTUS who makes America look like the short-bus kids of the world. Who can forget the glory of Bush’s corn-dog press-conference or “goodbye from the world’s number one polluter, tee hee” – or his groping Angela Merkel? It’s all good if you’re someone that thinks TruckNutz is subtle humor.

I guess once you chew the heads off enough chickens you sort of get a taste for it.

We can expect more from Mr Closetfeld in the weeks to come.

We can expect more from Mr Closetfeld in the weeks to come.

OH LAWDY LAWDY TEH PR0N!!! What will the CHILLUN think?*swoon*

What is little known to most Americans is that Chavez’s CITGO has been paying thousands every winter to many U.S. Tribal governments for heating assistance. Viva Chavez!

On the bright side, appearing in Big Failywood kind of makes it official that Gutfeld is a has-been, so there’s that.

Did…he actually mention Obama’s “well-sculpted abs?”

*reads article*

*facepalm*

he Goddamn Batman Has Been Reading This So-Called “Battle For The Cowl”, And This Time HE Wants To Be The One Who Beats Jason Todd To Death With A Crowbar

In retrospect, a crowbar is much more a Batman weapon than a Joker weapon. Maybe you’ve uncovered the Todd Conspiracy.

And on topic, there’s nothing Obama could do that would satisfy these assholes, so who cares?

On the bright side, appearing in Big Failywood kind of makes it official that Gutfeld is a has-been, so there’s that.

Was he an “ever-was”?

I only bring this up because I now see Obama regularly engaging in dialogue with bullies – who for years have been crapping all over America.

I can see it now – foreign bullies are driving across America, stopping to take a shit in every rest stop they come to. Why can’t these bullies stay in their own damn countries and crap there? Don’t they have toilets? Outhouses?

“Did…he actually mention Obama’s “well-sculpted abs?””

I know. Obama is in good shape for his age, but “well-sculpted abs” they are not.

Is apologizing for the runne-up of the Miss USA pageant as bad as apologiziing for America?

Has Gutfield apologized again for disparaging the Canadian Milllitary the week more soldiers’ died fighting in Afghanistan?

It was nice fo Gutfield to make FOX news hated by a karge sector of Canadians

Is apologizing for the runne-up of the Miss USA pageant as bad as apologiziing for America?

Worse, for she is more America than America herself.

Was he an “ever-was”?

Well, according to Wikipedia…no.

After graduating from UC Berkeley, he interned at The American Spectator, as an assistant to R. Emmett Tyrrell. He then got his first full-time job as a staff writer at Prevention magazine. In 1995, he became a staff writer at Men’s Health.

He helmed Maxim Magazine, in the UK, from 2004 to 2006.[2] However, Gutfeld’s contract expired without renewal after losses in readership under his tenure. His final year at Maxim saw a loss of about 40,000 readers;[4] he was replaced by Derek Harbinson.

In addition to that crappy list of accomplishments, there’s this:

On March 17, 2009, Gutfeld and his Red Eye panel joked about the Canadian military’s mission in Afghanistan. In reference to Canadian Lieutenant-General Andrew Leslie’s recent comment that the military may require a year to recover once Canada’s mission in Afghanistan ends in 2011, Gutfeld jokingly commented: “Meaning, the Canadian military wants to take a breather to do some yoga, paint landscapes, run on the beach in gorgeous white Capri pants”.[5] The comments were viewed as being insensitive to the 116 Canadian deaths in Afghanistan, and enraged Canadians from coast to coast. In reply to the comments, Defence Minister Peter MacKay stated “It’s crass, it’s insensitive, it’s in fact disgusting given the timing where Canada is just receiving back four fallen heroes here at CFB Trenton”, and stated that an apology from Fox and the panel would be demanded by the Canadian government.
On March 23, Gutfeld issued an apology during his Gregalogue Red Eye segment saying: [6]

In other words, he’s a dickless asshole, and by that I mean that he quite literally has no dick.

My hypocrisy and fake outrage over the president shaking hands with that nefarious Iberian was such bullshit I have been reduced to ranting about pageants that men this self-consciously heterosexual normally know nothing about. I uncharacteristically started out bloviating about the actual topic of the thread, but don’t worry, I recovered.

Miss California denied Miss USA title because she said marriage should be between a man and a woman. How sickening they made her lose because she didn’t give the feel-good PC answer.

Beauty Pageants, Oh My!

Seeing as how Miss California went into the interview trailing Miss North Carolina in both of the previous “events”, she would have needed a real hum-dinger of an interview in order to steal the win. She didn’t have it. And considering her behavior post l00serage – it’s pretty clear why.

Gutfeld had to go to summer school? To study leather? Huh?

In Gutfeld’s personal anecdote, the bully took Gutfeld’s money, patted him on the back, then ran over him with a bike. Gutfeld did not even trot out the old canard that once he stood up to the bully, the bully left him alone. Probably because if Gutfeld had stood up to him, the bully would have delivered another ass kicking.

Here’s Greg’s so-called “Apology.” The man just oozes insincerity from every pore:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyLbvURjfYQ

You can’t fool me, Greg: I know your type, asshole, and you were one of the bullies.

In other words, he’s occasionally a dickless asshole, and by that I mean that he quite literally has no dick of his own.

Edited for accuracy.

Miss California denied Miss USA title because she said marriage should be between a man and a woman. How sickening they made her lose because she didn’t give the feel-good PC answer.

It was quite surprising that her outspoken belief that gays should be second-class citizens hindered her progress in the staunchly heterosexual world of beauty pageants.

It was quite surprising that her outspoken belief that gays should be second-class citizens hindered her progress in the staunchly heterosexual world of beauty pageants.

Yes, especially since the question she answered was asked by the very macho Perez Hilton.

You know, I kinda liked Gutfeld when he was the editor at Stuff, but then I didn’t follow his career much outside that or I probably wouldn’t have bothered. But then Stuff is no longer published and I’ve frankly outgrown Maxim (which looks like it’s gone to shit anyway, not that it’s exactly a huge slide from where it was).

But now he’s on Fox News, and he did time at the Spectator… as for Men’s Health, I can’t take seriously any “health” magazine that puts its name on an idiotic excuse for a cookbook like A Man, A Can, A Plan, a cookbook so pathetic it gives Sandra Lee something to look down on.

And considering her behavior post l00serage – it’s pretty clear why.

She has a ways to go before she’s Norm Colemanesque, but there’s time.

Here’s my favorite in the comments section:

“Chavez would chew up and spit out Obama with out breaking a sweat. I believe he was a gorilla fighter and spent time in prison for trying to over throw the government. I seriously doubt Queen and Marxbury rules would apply.”

OK, “gorilla” fighter is one thing, but Queen and Marxbury rules? If the site were not dominated by illiterates, I may have guessed that it was a subtle put down: Obama is both gay and socialist.

Miss Cali’s response was actually even better than that. She managed to display absolutely every tooth in her otherwise empty head while dreamily rhapsodizing how great it was that everyone “has a choice between ‘gay marriage’ and ‘opposite marriage'”, until a small, dim flicker of awareness flared briefly somewhere between those marlin-fishing lures dangling from her ears, and she realized that, in fact, in “HER country”, as she put it, and, more to the point, in HER state, people actually didn’t have that choice any more. She tried gamely to recover, and go back to her original talking point, but it was too late.

By the way, what would “opposite marragiage” be? Is that like, the opposite of marriage?

I haven’t been following this whole beauty pageant thing because I think they’re stupid, but I was going to say, anyone who aspires to any kind of career that’s remotely related to modeling/acting/show biz, and is anti-gay, really hasn’t thought things through very carefully.

Gutfeld had to go to summer school? To study leather?

To be fair, it is a complex subject. I guess.

Anyway, it explains a lot, doesn’t it? I’m sure his instructor was named “Randy” and had a big moustache.

“You can’t fool me, Greg: I know your type, asshole, and you were one of the bullies.”
Fuckin’ A. Am I the only one who finds him weirdly reminiscent of an adult version of Macaulay Culkin’s douchebag older brother from “Home Alone”?

Chavez would chew up and spit out Obama with out breaking a sweat

They have very elaborate fantasies about how international relations and statecraft work. These fantasies would be amusing coming from a child.

By the way, what would “opposite marragiage” be?

That’s when you promise not to love, honor, or obey your spouse and promise to cheat on him/her every chance you get. Wait a minute, that sounds like the way “traditional marriage” works out most of the time in practice, if not theory.

Yeah, when I heard there was “controversy” concerning the Miss USA Q&A thing re: gay marriage, I first assumed the contestant had been all liberal and open and said something about how anyone in love should be able to get married. Haaha!

I just love our new Obamanation!!

Sigh. The childishness is almost unbelievable. None of these juveniles in grown-up bodies said Bush should have punched anybody–even a prince of the country whence came most of the funding for the 9/11 terrorist attack. They didn’t have any problem with Bush getting to first base with Prince Bandar. (OMFG, see how Bush let Bandar take the dominant position? He doomed us, doomed us with his body language.)
Dominance Cues

Of course they don’t really mean Obama should have hit Chavez. They really want Obama to act like a mean girl to “inferiors,” ie. leaders of nations without nuclear weapons, on their behalf. He’s supposed to snub them, to withhold his gracious recognition of their existence, like the head cheerleader ignoring the greeting of a nerd or a fat girl, unless said nerd or fat girl acknowledges his/her inferiority and offers to perform some service for his/her betters.

They really want Obama to act like a mean girl to “inferiors,” ie. leaders of nations without nuclear weapons, on their behalf. He’s supposed to snub them, to withhold his gracious recognition of their existence, like the head cheerleader ignoring the greeting of a nerd or a fat girl, unless said nerd or fat girl acknowledges his/her inferiority and offers to perform some service for his/her betters.

In other words, they wanted him to Be Like Bush, i.e. unite the rest of the world in disapproval of our idiot leadership.

That’s when you promise not to love, honor, or obey your spouse and promise to cheat on him/her every chance you get.

See Gingrich, Newt; Limbaugh, Rush; McCain, John; Giulliani, Rudolph; Regan, Ronald…

That’s when you promise not to love, honor, or obey your spouse and promise to cheat on him/her every chance you get.

No, that’s inverted marriage. It also involves standing on your head.

at 19:36 commie atheist said:

In other words, they wanted him to Be Like Bush, i.e. unite the rest of the world in disapproval of our idiot ladership.

Exactly. And to do it mostly by huffing “We don’t talk to losers like you!” while cuddling up to the psycho football player with the big derricks and the nucular missile.

Cancer is funnier than Greg Gutfeld.

Here she is, Miss California!

Why can’t these bullies stay in their own damn countries and crap there? Don’t they have toilets? Outhouses?

I believe “over there” they call them “Gutfelds.”

I believe “over there” they call them “Gutfelds.”

Also known as “shitmoats.”

From the Comments…
Challenge of the Day; find 10 erroneous statements, win a prize!!
—

OBAMA WANTS TO BE KING

All of the conservative blogs seem surprised when Obama does something that will heart the USA. You either haven’t figured out, or have forgotten, Obama does not want the USA to succeed. If nothing else will convince you of this, him wanting a civilian police force UNDER HIS CONTROL that has as many members as the military, and funded equal to the military, should convince you he wants to take over the country. What did Adolph Hitler call his civilian police force? Obama can’t activate the Nation Guard, governors have to do that. With his civilian police force that is as strong as the military he could easily take over the country.

I honestly believe Obama wants to be King, not president. He knows he can’t be king in a republic (we are not a democracy), so he is aligning himself with those who will help make him king. Since a person can only be king in a dictatorship, Obama is friends of dictatorships since he wants to have one of his own. Using this logic it is easy to see why he wants to be friends with Venezuela and Cuba.

He bowed to the Saudi King because the king is like the Godfather to Obama. You only bow down to those you are in allegiance to. In that simple act Obama showed the world who he is subject to, and who he honors the most.

I think Obama’s plan is to turn the USA over to other countries, and he figures he will be crowned king over it, or a part of it. Now I understand why he couldn’t keep from laughing during his 60 Minutes interview. He knows they are helping him become king, and he will be ruling over them as their king some day.

Challenge of the Day; find 10 erroneous statements, win a prize!!

That’s a trick “question,” isn’t it? Finding one statement that wasn’t erroneous would be more of a challenge.

All of the conservative blogs seem surprised when Obama does something that will heart the USA

I heart America. If Obama does too, that’s good enough for me.

I think Obama’s plan is to turn the USA over to other countries

God knows we could use a real government.

We smell your fear and desperation, troll.

Man, that’s some pure refined, high-tensile, weapons-grade stoopidium, there. just. wow.

I applied last week to sew soccer balls and they told me I was overqualified.

Back off! I demand the level of quality in my sporting goods that that only be achieved by teeny-tiny Asian child hands endlessly toiling in Shanghai electrical firetraps. You’re diluting the talent pool.

Don’t mess with me, moonbats — I’m well over five feet tall and can bench-press a cheesecake.

Bring it, Gutfeld, ya Jewboy pussy. I can bench-press…. [scratches out vague squiggle and a bunch of zeros] THAT many.

Looks like you have done so with several.

I’m well over five feet tall and can bench-press a cheesecake

I’d be impressed if you could cheesepress a bench.

Hugo Chavez was a gorilla fighter?! Was this in a circus? I hope he didn’t go to Africa to fight them in the wild. They’re endangered, aren’t they?

Hugo Chavez was a gorilla fighter?!

And an alligator wrestler.

Hugo Chavez rasslin’ a gator

Bear-baited in Elizabethan England for a while, too.

Man, for a socialest lefty, that Chavez is pretty out-of-line with the Animal Rights movement. Here’s a video of him fishin’.

I can see it now – foreign bullies are driving across America, stopping to take a shit in every rest stop they come to. Why can’t these bullies stay in their own damn countries and crap there? Don’t they have toilets?

They have toilets, but said toilets don’t feature closeted Republicans trolling for buttsecks.

I can see it now – foreign bullies are driving across America, stopping to take a shit in every rest stop they come to.

So they’re the ones that vandalize all the hand dryers to say “Press Butt – Rub Gently – Wipe Hands on Pants.”

Why is that man in the photograph wearing a Bridget Riley painting?

232,840 people watch four rednecks (h/t Garafolo) catch a 65-lb. catfish by hand, and God help me I’m the 232,841st.

232,840 people watch four rednecks (h/t Garafolo) catch a 65-lb. catfish by hand, and God help me I’m the 232,841st.

Rusty, just think of the porntastic possibilities of that audio track:

“Now I got both hands in his mouth!”

Noodling, indeed!

I’m particularly moved by the memory of Rummy pressing the flesh with Sadaam, history’s greatest monster. Somehow, Sadaam didn’t end up punched by Rummy–instead he got a gimme bag full of missiles. Of course this was a few years ago out of the purview of conservative squawkers who can only remember this week’s “outrage.”

The photo of Rummy smiling and shaking Sadam’s hand is an obvious forgery. Why won’t CNN release the vault copy!?! We have always been at war with Iraq.

“Opposite marriage” is when the sex increases and the wife becomes less critical after the honeymoon.

Last line of the actual article: “I for one, would like to see if there’s something underneath Obama’s suit, other than well-sculpted abs.”

Well damn. Why he gotta get me thinking about the president like that? Now I feel dirty.

Gutfeld is all about the guts.Also.
Carter gave up the Shah of Iran. I wonder who Obama is going to give up and what will be the results?

gocart mozart said,

April 22, 2009 at 17:54

The photo of Rummy smiling and shaking Sadam’s hand is an obvious forgery. Why won’t CNN release the vault copy!?! We have always been at war with Iraq.

That would explain why we have the biggest peacetime budget evah. We’ve never had peacetime before.