It’s All Fun Until Somebody Pulls Out The Goldwater

Shorter RedState:


Above: RedState head Erick Erickson
in role as Macon, GA city councilman

Obama Administration: Veterans, Pro-Lifers, Gun Enthusiasts and Those Skeptical of Washington are “Right Wing Extremists”

  • The Department of Homeland Security’s report on right-wing extremism is an overt leftist plot to label us “extremists” just because we reject the legitimacy of the US government.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Note: The line the diarist recites, “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice” (whose scarcely encountered second half, “and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue,” is apparently a lot to remember all at once), occurred at the 1964 Republican convention, and seemed to solidify a public impression of Goldwater as a creepy, of all things, extremist — a quality by definition held by a minority, much as the GOP was held by the Goldwater zealots. The campaign went down in a historic catastrophe of black smoke and orange gasoline flames, and plowed a crater from which the species Wingnuttius vulgaris, the Common American Wingnut, would soon emerge, unfurling its delicate wings to dry in the sun and complaining that the press was on a vendetta against Nixon. And so, long story short, we find ourselves here today.

In any case, the line wasn’t Goldwater’s, but was cooked up by speechwriters Karl Hess and Harry Jaffa, two very strange men later describable, in turn, as an Anarcho-survivalist techno-Luddite, and a cloud of bats in the Claremont Institute’s attic.

And the inquisitive little boy with the Jughead hat grew up to be John Hinderaker. And now you know…the rest of the story!

 

Comments: 113

 
 
 

Ahh, Goldwater. “In your heart, you know he might”.

The nuclear winter would just start to be clearing about now, had he got that one.

 
 

Any chance we can give the hamsters some Doggie Downers? The Puppy Uppers seem to have been a wee bit too effective.

 
 

Makes me scared to think what non-Euclidean horrors are going crawl out of the wreckage of the Bush GOP.

 
 

This report has really got in the wingnut’s craw.

Good job, Homeland Security! (Never thought I’d write that).

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Yet another right-wing blog that sees the words “right-wing extremist” in the DHS report and interprets them to mean “conservative.” Is it even possible to mock them anymore?

 
 

Makes me scared to think what non-Euclidean horrors are going crawl out of the wreckage of the Bush GOP.

I see a 181° triangle coming at me, I’m running for the hills.

 
 

This report has really got in the wingnut’s craw.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets kicked out of the airport.

 
 

Ahh, Goldwater. “In your heart, you know he might”.

In your guts you know he’s nuts.

The hilarious thing about this is really the ‘let’s freak out about Nazis getting arrested’ thing is being treated as an electorally sound strategy. They’re going to have to bend over backwards as is not to walk into 2012 as the party of that one guy shouting his intentions towards Obama and all those other nigrofascists.

They’ve gotten so used to being indulged when they go on these ridiculous flights of fancy that as soon as they’re exposed to a non-controlled atmosphere they catch fire and die screaming about Al Gore.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I see a 181° triangle coming at me, I’m running for the hills.

You’ve earned it – it was bravery enough to have stuck around with the protractor long enough to figure that out.

 
 

Yet another right-wing blog that sees the words “right-wing extremist” in the DHS report and interprets them to mean “conservative.” Is it even possible to mock them anymore?

Self-realization is a virtue.

 
 

Hey red state – pot meet kettle. How many times did they call anti war activists terrorists or traitors? When the right wing stops approvingly supporting demagogues who call for uprisings against the elected governement I might give them a little sympathy.

 
 

the protractor long enough

You’re getting a little personal here, Xecky.

 
 

Shouldn’t Michael Moore have another movie ready to release about now? That should really push ’em all over the edge.

 
 

Geez, they may be morons, but they are really good at responding to the Talking Points promptly, aren’t they?

 
 

What happened to the “Who cares if the government is going through your undie drawer if you’re doing nothing wrong?” shit these loser wingnuts were saying just last year?

Now they’re being crucified for beating off to Ronald Reagan photos. Oh, shivers. Poor kids.

 
 

Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?

 
 

Geez, they may be morons, but they are really good at responding to the Talking Points promptly, aren’t they?

The phrases “echo chamber” and “dittohead” exist for a reason. They’ll be down to settling disputes by ipsedixit drills by 2016, and I expect the “ipse” will be Paris Hilton.

 
 

Damn comment eating Sadly No! What I just tried to post was brilliant, I tell you.

Anyway, aren’t these dickheads the ones who said “why worry if you aren’t doing anything wrong?” regarding warrantless wiretapping just a few months ago?

Get a bag, grab a shovel, head out to the field and start reaping, ass-hammers.

 
 

On the Macon county seal – is that daisies that the (red state) body politic is pushing up?

 
 

Anyway, aren’t these dickheads the ones who said “why worry if you aren’t doing anything wrong?”

You don’t get it man! They’re doing EVERYTHING RIGHT!

 
 

Huh. I’m a veteran and I’m skeptical of Washington, but up until now people have considered me a loony leftie.
What a great day for wingnuttery.

 
 

From the link:

Now, setting aside the obvious question of a federal department focusing on supposed “rightwing” extremism as opposed to that of the left wing (see, e.g., the likes of ACORN, William Ayers, gay activists targeting Mormons and others supporting marriage legislation, leftist groups threatening disruption of the “tea parties,” etc…), the paragraph is dripping with the all-too-common false characterization of conservatives as racist and “hate-oriented.”

Hee hee.

Besides all of the silliness contained there, the paragraph it refers to is not talking about “conservatives,” but “right-wing extremists.” As a few people here have already mentioned, it appears that the Malkins and Red Staters have already created the equivalency between the two in their own heads. Fascinating.

 
 

On the Macon county seal

Huh huh huh, it’s a little man in a boat.

 
 

Just wait till this report turns into motivation for gun control legislation.

Sadly, Democrats are stupid enough to do it, however poorly it’d serve them and the country.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

Why don’t you report on some real issues, like the Death of Europe and the Rise of Eurabia?

Look what happened in France recently:

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/3874

 
 

The campaign went down in a historic catastrophe of black smoke and orange gasoline flames, and plowed a crater from which the species Wingnuttius vulgaris, the Common American Wingnut, would soon emerge

AKA Galt’s Gulch. Some mutagenic factor must have scrambled their homing abilities because they are having an awfully hard time finding their way back.

 
 

Good God, this hogan individual at Red State includes the Office of Intelligence and Analysis’ contact information (again, from a document that was supposed to circulate internally and was not meant for public consumption), encouraging Red State readers to registers their comments and complaints with them. Please, please do. I’m sure they’ll be happy to note your contact information for future reference.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

I dare you to read that link.

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/3874

 
Is Paris Burning?
 

They’ll be down to settling disputes by ipsedixit drills by 2016, and I expect the “ipse” will be Paris Hilton.

Nein, mein Fuhrer. Nein!

 
 

I’m sure they’ll be happy to note your contact information for future reference.

Just don’t do it at the Teabagging Rallies, ’cause, you know, ACORN.

 
 

Yet another right-wing blog that sees the words “right-wing extremist” in the DHS report and interprets them to mean “conservative.” Is it even possible to mock them anymore?

Why would this surprise you? After all, “left-wing extremist” automatically equals “all liberals” in their tiny little minds, so why would they think any differently when the words “right-wing extremist” are used?

You gotta keep in mind that you are dealing with people who are literally incapable of nuance. They can’t do it, and that’s probably also why they swing so drastically between righteous wrath and pants-shitting terror.

 
 

leftist groups threatening disruption of the “tea parties,”

Metaprotesting is explicitly forbidden in the constitution.

 
 

For the record, it’s a video of a robbery in Paris (shocking) crowing about its inevitable censorship. This is either because of a poor tradition of freedom of information in France and a very specific legal prohibition against the displaying of faces without explicit permission (unlike the US, this is not waived even under the special case of someone being depicted committing a crime of which they have been convicted), along with the bus company’s concern about a robbery on one of their buses becoming public knowledge, or it’s because of a global Islamist plot to defend the hated Nigaro at all costs.

You know, one or the other.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

MHmm, and the attackers were immigrants, the victim was French, and they hurled racial insults at him during the attack.

Let’s see the libs here try to blame it on “colonialism”.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

No. SATSQ.

 
Is My Brain Working?
 

Also no.

 
 

Yet another right-wing blog that sees the words “right-wing extremist” in the DHS report and interprets them to mean “conservative.” themselves.

Fixed that for you.

 
 

MHmm, and the attackers were immigrants, the victim was French, and they hurled racial insults at him during the attack.

Let’s see the libs here try to blame it on “colonialism”.

It’s a nighttime robbery in a major city. In the time since you started beating off to that picture a number of Japanese citizens have probably gone through the same thing without any ethnic slurs being involved.

Seriously, I’d be shocked and appalled if it was just a random attack, but it’s a fucking robbery in fucking Paris. You don’t get more generic in crime terms than that. Of course, it’s certainly possible it was planned ahead of time by the evil Moslem hordes.

Also, there’s no particular evidence that either the victim was French or the attackers were immigrants, but it isn’t like you care about that. You just wanna beat off to the idea of the encroaching darkies stealing your guns. Not really worth paying attention to, surprisingly.

 
Is All Racism Directed at White People by Nasty Immigrants?
 

My soiled pants say “yes!”

 
 

Concern troll is concerned.

 
 

The teabaggers are really going to have their Huggies in a jumble tomorrow over this. I cannot wait to hear the paranoia pour.

 
 

Click on this, “St. Jesus”, and try to tell me its no big deal or Whitey’s fault:

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Read.aspx?GUID=08C88AE6-74B3-4627-B42C-63E068365F58

 
 

’twill be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

 
 

Nigger. Niiiiigggggeeeerrrr. Nig. Ger. Nigger nigger nigger. Oh noes teh Negroes!

 
 

I actually have no idea what point the troll is trying to get at with his link. I think that I must be overwhelmed by the unusual (!) amount of insanity from all those right wing extremists, I mean conservatives, lately.

 
 

Concern troll is concerned.

It’s not his fault he’s the only one brave enough to pay attention to nothing but the Brown Menace wherever it happens to be.

I think he’s currently trying to work out how exactly to connect the Black Man’s clever plot to rob a white man and use the proceeds to change the fundamentals of French media law a hundred years ago to the Obama Hall Putsch. You know, because Obama got elected by robbing, assaulting, and saying racist things about Frenchmen and all.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

How many people think Egypt or Syria or Algeria would allow an influx of millions of Europeans and grant them citizenship?

 
 

leftist groups threatening disruption of the “tea parties,”

IIRC, isn’t the idea of “lefties disrupting tea parties” entirely attributed to one email or comment on a right wing blog fear-mongering that ACORN was going to show up and trick them into signing fake petitions proclaiming their support for Obama?

Because I haven’t heard a single credible call from left-wing organizations to disrupt the tea parties.

Point and laugh, maybe.

 
 

Ahhh, poor scared little shitferbrains. Bless his heart.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“’twill be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.”

I read that as “clusterfuck of eric proportions” and thought you were talking about Redstate.

 
 

Click on this, “St. Jesus”, and try to tell me its no big deal or Whitey’s fault:

I already gave you a shot and you give me the most underwhelming race-war story ever. I’m not bothering with a harrowing account of an Idaho housewife finding pomade under her son’s bed, thank you.

 
 

I do not believe that the report by Homeland Security is being used as a political tool like the presiuos adminsitration, but they (HS) have real concerns and rightfully so. This is serious stuff, when members of congress assign and endorse revolution over anything it needs to be addressed. My hope is that cooler heads will prevail. The next 6 months are critical and I believe that Barak must adress the issue. Spoiled and greedy for power,monied forces are involved and it must be squelched.

 
 

Damn the hamsters are on crack today.

 
 

Nah, they’ll have to double down on the existing stupid to reach a clusterfuck of Eric proportions.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

St. Jesus, this link will open your eyes:

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Read.aspx?GUID=08C88AE6-74B3-4627-B42C-63E068365F58

Click on it, pussy. You’d rather stick your head in the sand than confront uncomfortable truths about massive Muslim immigration to Europe, wouldn’t you?

 
Principal Blackman
 

Mark Noonan wants in on the crazyfest, too: This is the first shot of Civil War II.

 
 

The only uncomfortable truth not being acknowledged here is that you are a scaredy cat. Go hide in the piss under your bed.

 
 

Click on it, pussy.

Last I checked, I wasn’t the one who started crying when he heard about a robbery in Paris involving a giant, terrifying black man.

 
 

“Swedish girls Malin and Amanda were on their way to a party on New Year’s Eve when they were assaulted, raped and beaten half to death by four Somali immigrants. ”

Stupid immigrants, can’t even beat teenaged girls completely to death.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

You’re an ostrich with your head in the sand “LittlePig”.

Go read it:

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Read.aspx?GUID=08C88AE6-74B3-4627-B42C-63E068365F58

Or are YOU the one who is scared? Hmmm?

 
 

Or are YOU the one who is scared? Hmmm?

Dude, that doesn’t even make sense. You are the one invading a humor blog with your off topic horseshit. You are scared of brown folks – I get that. But no right winger has ever given a shit about Europe, hell you morons changed “French Fries” to “Freedom Fries”. You’re just trying to justify your own cowardice.

Go over to Stormfront or VDARE and masturbate with your Aryan buddies.

 
 

Nah, they’ll have to double down on the existing stupid to reach a clusterfuck of Eric proportions.

“Eric Scale” stupidity, you might say.

Battlegame nerd joke!

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Shouldn’t the seal behind Erick Erickson read “Seal of Hazzard County, Georgia”?

 
 

MUSLIM RAPE WAVE!!!!! OH NOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Why will no one pay attention to the real issue: the Popish plot!!!

 
 

“LittlePig”.

And yes, I use the moniker LittlePig. It’s a long story and an in-joke.

Only people less than seventeen years old or are Aspberger’s sufferers use meglomanical nyms like “The Truth”, “Fair is Fair” or “Is Europe Dying?”.

Go get some professional help, you’ll like yourself better. Or kill yourself to escape the dreadful brown folk. Just stop stinking up the joint with your horseshit.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

Mmmph. Swedish girls being forcibly … fap fap fap … held down and … fap fap fap …. violated …. fap fap fap … by swarthy, scary, sweaty fap fap fap Mooslims.

 
 

Hey, I saw Muslim Rape Wave with Slayer and Agnostic Front back in the day. Awesome!!!!!

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“Hey, I saw Muslim Rape Wave with Slayer and Agnostic Front back in the day. Awesome!!!!!”

Really? I saw that tour, but Corrosion of Conformity opened instead of Agnostic Front.

 
 

Shorter concern trolls:

We’re always right about everything, because SCARY BLACK MAN!

Lame.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

I see the liberal children on here can only recite talking points, make personal insults, or masturbation jokes rather than address the links I posted.

Typical.

If this were a story about immigrant women being raped by white men, there’d be 30 posts on here about it and protests in the streets.

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

“If this were a story about immigrant women being raped by white men,” you certainly wouldn’t be hearing about it from me, as it would not further my obsession with scary brown people.

 
 

I see the liberal children on here can only recite talking points, make personal insults, or masturbation jokes rather than address the links I posted.

I addressed the link you posted. Then you posted another and pretended I never said anything.

Thus the personal insults and masturbation jokes. You don’t like it? Then stop acting like a wanker.

 
 

“I see the liberal children on here can only recite talking points, make personal insults, or masturbation jokes rather than address the links I posted.”

Address your links? t’s not all about you, honey. Oh, and if I could post a picture here, I’d post one of my balls so you could tea bag all proper like, jagbag.

 
 

(Typically, the liberal losers here refuse to address the dire danger to the well-being of white men and virtue of white women posed by the Popish untermensch lurking behind every corner.)

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

“stop acting like a wanker.”

You would tell the moon to cease in its orbit? You would ask the wind not to blow?

 
 

I REALLY dare you to click on this link, libs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHNztg0X3s

It’s shocking! SHOCICKING!! DONT CLICK!!!!

 
 

He came HERE and wonders about insults and masturbation jokes? Evidently the Clue-O-Meter is stuck on zero.

 
 

It’s All Fun Until Somebody Pulls Out The Goldwater

For some folks the fun doesn’t begin ’till the golden showers.

 
Principal Blackman
 

For some folks the fun doesn’t begin ’till the golden showers.

Not until after the teabagging!

 
Is Europe Dying?
 

This video proves my point- suck it libs!

 
 

I see the liberal children on here can only recite talking points, make personal insults, or masturbation jokes rather than address the links I posted.

I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!

 
 

I see that Newtie the thrice-married frog has decided to run with this too. How teabaggish.

 
Galactic Dustbin
 

I think this guy is one of the racist little 15 year olds that infest Halo on the X-Box after midnight.

 
 

Spoiled and greedy for power,monied forces are involved and it must be squelched.-

Been there, done that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business_Plot

 
 

Suck it teabaggers!

Oh wait, that didn’t come out right…

 
 

I see the liberal children on here can only recite talking points, make personal insults, or masturbation jokes rather than address the links I posted. aren’t as impressed with me as much as I am.

Fixed that fer ya.

 
 

I was hoping all the rocket surgery that was being worked on while S,N! was Sadly, Slow! would lead to swifter disemvowelment of our incredibly tedious parody troll.

I have a dream!

 
Liberal Children
 

Hey! Whadda ya want from us? We’re children, shitbag.

 
 

Fox News sponsors tea-party

One clue that it’s not a “grassroots movement?”

When it’s been given permission to use a major cable network’s logo in its artwork.

Just sayin’….

 
 

I love how liberals are spending so much time trying to discredit the Tea Parties as a grasroots movement.

It means they’re pissing in their pants with FEAR!

We’re going to dominate the agenda, and it starts tomorrow!

 
 

Little Green Footballs, voice of reason in the wingnutosphere.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/33364_About_That_DHS_Report_on_Right-Wing_Extremism

Copy and paste link or get “A Idiot” dancing.

 
 

While he lost the nomination and ultimately his chance at the presidency, Goldwater ultimately won the Republican Party. Today’s Republicans and conservative movement are Goldwater’s party and movement. Which is why less than 30% of Americans identify with them. They really are the party of far right loons and whackjobs a la Goldwater (yes, he really was as crazy as Glenn Beck). FWIW, I am old enough to remember Goldwater and efforts to rehabilitate him as a mainstream conservative are pure bullshit, unless the “mainstream” is somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun.

 
 

Not to get all semantical and such as, DrDick, but the Main Stream of Modern Day Gooperism is indeed flowing to the right of Attila the Hun.

Of course, Attila was a liberal fascist…

 
 

“Muslim Rape Wave” really never became a hit for teh Ventures

 
 

“Eric Scale” stupidity, you might say.

Battlegame nerd joke!

Titan Legions represent!

 
 

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© –

Undoubtedly true of modern conservative, but they are trying to recast him as in the mainstream of 1960s & 1970s (sane, if totally misguided and amoral) conservatism. Modern Republicans would call those folks commies.

 
 

Titan Legions represent!

What an Ultra-Maroon!

 
 

When will YOU LIBS face up to the ugliness of the world we live in?

Never.

At least not till the S,N servers are adjusted.

 
 

“Muslim Rape Wave” really never became a hit for teh Ventures

Personally, I always preferred “Muslim Rape Wave of Mutilation” by the Pixies.

 
 

So where did this get started? Someone leaked it? Why, I wonder wonder do, would someone leak such a thing. What purpose could it possibly serve? Hmmmmmm.

 
 

It is my reasoned analysis, from two-bit theories that I’ve made up myself, that the patient identified as “Parody Troll,” although unavailable for in-person analysis (all The King’s Horses & all The King’s Psych Techs couldn’t drag him from his padded cell) can be summarized as follows:

As he presents alternatively as a clever-for-his-age eight yr. old & as a retarded 18 yr. old, we can split the difference & assume he’s probably twelve or thirteen, & late to puberty, causing him to be ridiculed & rejected by his peer group. If he doesn’t complete puberty soon, & start connecting w/ members of whichever gender gets him going (We won’t even get into the whole closet/homophobe thing, that’s too big a can of worms to open now.) this kind of Internet activity can often manifest itself in the physical world (Euclidean & otherwise) leaving a trail of mutilated animals, shot-up liberal churches, & high-jacked aircraft crashed into either the White House, on a day that Mrs. Obama is working in the anti-industrial civilization garden, or any urban area that offers food in any colors besides meat, white, & light yellow.

I would advise the DHS, in my capacity as a former Medical Doctor, that subject “Parody Troll” be kept under close observation until his puberty is successfully completed. Then we can try to bring him in for another session.

 
 

I know you’re talking about the attempt to rehabilitate the contemporaneous Goldwater but I will add that in his declining years, he basically recanted much of his earlier politics.

 
 

It’s not his fault he’s the only one brave enough to pay attention to nothing but the Brown Menace wherever it happens to be.

I think the only brown around here is dripping down his leg.

Anyway, this whole hubbub is driven by a misreading, a misconception, and terminal WATBery. The misreading is in reading a list of causes espoused by right-wing extremists (anti-abortion, anti-federalism, etc.) and interpreting that to mean that anyone who espouses these causes is considered a right-wing extremist.

They make this misreading because of a misconception of what “extremism” means. Extremism isn’t about ends, it’s about means. An extremist group can have fairly moderate, reformist political ideology, while a radical group can be mild and harmless. Extremism is about strategy and mindset, while radicalism is about ideology.

Here’s an example: consider Operation Rescue and your average Catholic pro-lifer league. Both groups share a goal — ending abortion entirely in the United States. But Operation Rescue is an extremist group, and the Catholics aren’t. This is because of the way OR organizes themselves and acts, not because of any difference in ideology.

Because of this misconception, your average tax-hating abortion-loathing conservative reads “right-wing extremists include those opposed to abortion and those opposed to taxation” and flips it over to “those opposed to abortion and taxation are right-wing extremists.” This misconception is aided by the fact that they’re big whiny-ass titty babies who love feeling victimized.

 
 

Macon County Line was and still is a great movie.

Max Baer directed.

Jethro Bodine …

 
 

Get a load of Erick’s most recent exploits in government and note that he “injected race” into yet another issue:

http://www.macon.com/741/story/673152.html

 
 

Heaven knows, I have tasted some nasty liqueurs*, but even I draw the line at drinking Goldwasser.

* Exhibit A: Kümmel.

 
 

Good point Djur. It was a fairly pragmatic report, no real avenues for outrage–or so I thought. The operation rescue analogy is spot on.

 
 

two very strange men later describable, in turn, as an Anarcho-survivalist techno-Luddite, and a cloud of bats in the Claremont Institute’s attic.

OK, that made me snort coffee…

 
 

Is Europe Dying?

*looks out of window at central London*

glass towers, scuzzy old rag trade buildings converted into start-up offices, several million Europeans apparently going about their business, seems normal. Sun shining. Hmm, that bit’s a little strange.

So, nope. Glad we cleared that up.

 
 

Is Europe Dying?

*looks out of window at central London*

[…]So, nope. Glad we cleared that up.

But the Northumberland Derby!!!!

 
 

When I was in Paris in 2002, I was brutally addressed by a North African worker at the Gare du Nord with the informal “tu” instead of the “vous” I deserved as a white man and a tourist. The shame of this verbal familiarity has left deep, deep scars, despite his apparent friendliness. Even being called “buddy” by a cab driver or a hot dog vendor brings this terrorist act back to me. Europe is doomed, and so am I, and who knows which is going first?

 
 

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