Heads Wingnuts Win, Tails Obama Loses

atlas_and_gateway
ABOVE: Geller and Hoft: A perfecta of wingnuttery. But which ran first?

The big news for the day is that Jim “Gateway Pundit” Hoft has a new and improved banner for his site. Of course, the banner is, well, just pitiful and looks like the work of the graphic artiste who designed this site (safe for work, but click at your own risk!). No props for mad design skillz are going to be headed in Hoft’s direction any time soon.

The other news for the day is that even if the banner has changed, Hoft hasn’t. He’s as preposterous as always.

In his latest post, Hoft is spewing spittle every which way because Barack let his older brother Roy and his younger alleged half-brother Samson visit the White House when they were in DC during Obama’s inauguration.

Barack Obama’s older brother Abongo “Roy” Obama is a Luo activist and a militant Muslim who argues that the black man must “liberate himself from the poisoning influences of European culture.”

Recently, Barack Obama welcomed his militant Muslim brother Roy Obama to the White House.

obama_family

Proud family: US President Barack Obama greets members of his British and African-based family at the White House following his inauguration, including half-brother Abongo, far left, and stepmother Kezia, in yellow. The President’s 86-year-old paternal grandmother Sarah was also in Washington DC for his swearing-in ceremony, as well as his half-sister Auma, 49, and half-brothers Ben, 38, and Abo (or Samson), 40. (Daily Mail)

** That may be Samson (Abo) standing next to the president in the White House photo. [Apparently they all look alike to Hofted.]

It looks like Barack’s other brother Samson who was recently refused entry into the UK after being accused of an attempted sex attack on a young girl was also with the family for the White House visit. He traveled to America with the family for the inauguration in January.

Alert readers will remember that it was not that long ago, in fact just last August, that Hoft was echoing the wingnut chorus of outrage and scandal because of a brother who didn’t go to the White House. You may remember George Obama, who was living in, according to Hoft, “a foul-smelling slum hut,” where he spent his time smoking pot and drinking cheap gin and coke.

Amazing!
Barack Obama has talked several times about being his brother’s keeper.
Obviously, he wasn’t talking about his little brother George.

But had George showed up at the White House, there would obviously have been a different wailing chorus refrain and a slew of blog posts criticizing Barack for allowing a slum-dwelling, pot-smoking, gin-swilling foreigner into the White House. And if, on the other hand, Obama had rescinded the invitation for Samson, Fox News would have been on it 24/7 and Hoft would be duly transcribing the litany of charges that Barack was a bad brother.

The bonus comedy here is that Hoft is so busying parroting the obamanation du jour, that he even links to his own stories about the outcast pot-smoking George at the bottom of this latest post. That way you don’t even have to go to Google to document Hoft’s gob-smacking idiocy.

 

Comments: 83

 
 
 

militant Muslim brother Roy Obama

Indeed, so militant that he was inside the White House and did nothing that Mr. Hoft imagines a militant Muslim would do.

 
 

Sheesh. The endless barrage of WGAS Obamagates is so, so tiresome.

 
 

Anyhoo, all I need to know about Gateway Pundit I learned in this post. Note the date.

 
 

i’ve seen a number of bridal websites in my life…but yvette’s is pretty amazing. amazing like gateway pundit’s critical thinking skills.

 
 

“the poisoning influences of European culture.”

Wait, so Roy’s a Republican?

 
 

he spent his time smoking pot and drinking cheap gin and coke.

Given a choice between that and being President of the United States right now, I know which one I’d choose.

 
 

Attention, Geller and Hoft (and others who think like them):

We KNOW Obama is black, and WE ELECTED HIM ANYWAY. You’re just going to have to get used to that fact. Thank you.

 
 

yvette’s is pretty amazing.

It mirrors the organizational skill I’ve seen in evidence at weddings.

 
 

the poisoning influences of European culture

So, he’s a conservative?

 
 

You may remember George Bush Obama, who was living in, according to Hoft, “a foul-smelling slum hut,”the White House where he spent his time smoking pot and drinking cheap gin and snorting coke.

 
 

So when W was related to, you know, Neil and Jeb’s daughter and the Wonderbra Twins, Erik The Rudd was, um, where, precisely?

 
 

By the way, juice line of the entire piece was “FOX News reported today that Samson admitted admission of criminal offense”

Is that like a non-denial denial?

 
 

Umm, what does Obama loosen?
Check dat title, yo.

 
 

yvette’s is pretty amazing

I give the lady credit: she’s consistently managed to squeeze ten pounds of Heartland meat into five pound sacks.

 
 

Wow, my eyes are still recovering. Yvette’s web site is even worse than Pammycakes mess of a blog page. But Gateway and Atlas certainly make a fine set of wingnut bookends.

 
 

Umm, what does Obama loosen?

The wingnuts’ already tenuous grasp on sanity.

 
 

Yvette’s site is awesome!

 
 

I assumed it was a deliberate mistypography. You know how it is an unintentional error so frequently seen at nutzie sites.

 
 

Also, US religious Right concedes defeat.

America’s religious Right has conceded that the election of US President Barack Obama has sealed its defeat in the cultural war with permissiveness and secularism.

 
 

I notice “Where hope finally made a comeback” is still the slogan Mr. Gateway chooses.

If there’s one thing in evidence at his place, it’s hope.

 
 

Also, US religious Right concedes defeat.

It’s interesting that Dobson blames his movement, but makes no comment with respect to the fact that for thirty years, he’d helped get Republicans elected on anti-abortion platforms and only got a few minor skirmishes thrown his way.

Personally, I’d have felt rather used by all that.

 
 

Please tell me the “looses” in the title is on purpose.

 
 

Was Neil Bush banned from the Bushevik ShiteHouse after his imbroglio with under-age Thai whores?

Just wondering…

 
 

Yvette’s site has bagpipe music so that’s a plus anyway. I probably would have gone with the Red Hot Chilli Pipers version of Voodoo Child though. A better fit for the visuals.

 
 

Please tell me the “looses” in the title is on purpose.

No, it’s a typo. The super slow server — all but one hamster is now dead — makes posting a lengthy and annoying chore, so I wasn’t paying careful attention for typos. I fixed it. Please feel free to ridicule me.

 
 

Please feel free to ridicule me.

*gleefully rubbing hands*

Ohboy, where can we begin????

 
 

Ohboy, where can we begin????

The cowlick. It’s got to be the cowlick.

 
 

a different brad said,

April 13, 2009 at 19:51

Umm, what does Obama loosen?
Check dat title, yo.

Jacob Singer said,

April 13, 2009 at 21:14

Please tell me the “looses” in the title is on purpose.

Tintin is silently strange on the subject. WHAT IS HE HIDING?!?!? JUST THINK HOW THE LEFT WOULD RESPOND IF A WHINGYNUTZER DID THAT!!! WE DEMAND TO SEE THE ARCHIVE COPY!! TINTINS POST IS A FAILURE!

 
 

Was Neil Bush banned from the Bushevik ShiteHouse after his imbroglio with under-age Thai whores?

I think the main point we want to drive home here is this: the only thing that is politically relevant about an affiliation is if someone makes promises based on ideology or patronage.

There might be something vaguely foul about being old friends with someone horrible or taking money from someone horrible. It only becomes politically relevant if it’s something that can be inferred to influence the political actor’s actual behavior.

This is why we’re not just outraged by lobbyists for existing. The purpose of these networking connections is to secure political promises, or something amounting to them. And that’s relevant – and a major reason why people found Obama’s pledge to avoid lobbyists in his White House attractive. (The attempts to draw equivalency between McCain taking in millions of dollars and numerous staffers from financial and policy raptors and Obama sharing an education board with a washed-up 60s radical was far too obtuse to pass through anyone’s bullshit filter unimpeded.) It’s also a major reason why the blatant attempts to recycle Clinton-era scandals just doesn’t stick: the Clintons inhabited a different era and political climate. You needed a war chest and powerful friends to win the governorship of Arkansas during the Southern Strategy and the Dem nod during an unpopular incumbency. Both Clintons occasionally had to do seriously unsavory things to keep politically afloat. Obama hasn’t yet.

This is fucking elementary stuff. We are talking about people in high legislative and policymaking positions, not the Prom Queen. Unless, like Bush or Palin, Obama were to decide to funnel relatives and family friends into the Administration, his relatives are meaningless.

Pro tip to the right: even if you want to keep muddying the waters on this one, I’d really recommend against pursuing this line of attack in the future. Both big names in your party at present (Huckabee and Palin) are plagued by an intense devotion to family members and ideological hacks which implies serious negative qualities about the course of their Presidency. You might get the 1% of the country that is not yet aware of Obama’s scandalous hue on your side, but the 30-50% of the country that doesn’t know about Huckster’s connection to neo-pentecostal militants or Palin’s connections to secessionists and violent personal nepotism might be another story.

 
 

The dog’s kinda….queer…too, N_B. I mean, c’mon, talking dog…and it’s FRENCH???

 
 

Belgian, but his name is Snowy, which directly contradicts global warming. SUCK IT, AL BORE!

 
 

Belgians are just French without good wine!

 
 

Maybe so, maybe so, but their beer is better, and that has to count for something.

 
 

Their beer tastes like chocolate or fruit or all those other “fancy flavors” that a real Amurican would never be caught dead drinking!

The Belgians want to prove their mastery of beer, let them make one that’s pork flavored!

 
 

They don’t all taste like fruit, but yes, a pork beer would probably do pretty well here. A double-smoked bacon beer and they’d rule the world.

 
 

Besides, Tintin could refer to the obnoxious little girl from the Thunderbirds marionette series.

Hey, Tintin! We want to see your strings!

 
 

Was Neil Bush banned from the Bushevik ShiteHouse after his imbroglio with under-age Thai whores?

IT would be irresponsible not to speculate.

 
 

“Republicans have become embarrassing to watch. And it doesn’t feel right to make fun of crazy people.”

Keep poking fun at them, Krugman. Please.

 
 

Leave it to those putzes in Washington state. Bacon beer. From the Juan de Fuca straights straits, no less.

 
 

militant Muslim brother Roy Obama

Oh, so we’re gonna do the guilt by family-member association thing now, eh? You know, rumor has it that Saint Ronald Reagan’s son is a bleeding heart liberal who even has his own show on Air America. He may even have spent some time in the White House while St. Ronnie was president. Talk about a family disgrace, not to mention a security risk.

 
 

Tintin, you left out the inflammatory headline.

“Obama’s Brother Accused of Sexual Assault On Teen Girl Attended Inauguration”

Good grief.

I fully expect Hoft to account for Rush’s Viagra-filled holidays with Dominican Republic youngsters.

 
 

Great beer in Belgium. Also, they invented the world’s most perfect food, Vlaamse friet. With mayo. uhuhhuhhhnnnuhnhnuhnuhn

 
 

Tigrismus, I freely admit that I haven’t tried every Belgian beer in the world. But I’m here to tell you that I had one, Copper Bios, that truly should have been left in the diseased burro from whence it came.

 
 

French fries with mayo???

What kind of commie puts mayo on his French fries????

Mayo is for roast beef and turkey! And maybe tuna salad! Ketchup (not that european crap, catsup) is for fries!

 
 

Oh, so we’re gonna do the guilt by family-member association thing now, eh? You know, rumor has it that Saint Ronald Reagan’s son is a bleeding heart liberal who even has his own show on Air America. He may even have spent some time in the White House while St. Ronnie was president. Talk about a family disgrace, not to mention a security risk.

While I would normally write it off as simple fraudulence (the wingnuts are big on barking like trained seals on command and studiously ignoring any implications of their coordinated ejaculations), I really have to wonder, in light of what awful human beings they often are, if they even have a simple concept of family. I don’t mean in the sense you see with the Palin family, where it’s all about what works best for Sarah and weird entitlement-by-association shit that comes up so often. I mean the simpler idea of just being there for members of your family.

It doesn’t matter if it’s fraternal respect, brotherly love, or the marital bond – it all has to be political for wingnuts. I imagine the McCain boosterists finding out their sister is moving (by proxy, of course, because she would long since have realized that altruism is against their rational self-interest) and then actively attempting to sabotage it because the new house is closer to where she works.

Help! My own sibling is a terrorist wrecker!!!

 
 

Oh, and maybe you put cheese on fries, that’s acceptable so long as it’s Velveeta, the cheese that wouldn’t die.

None of this “camembert” or “emmentaler”…nuh uh! No furren cheese for Amurkens!

 
 

I fully expect Hoft to account for Rush’s Viagra-filled holidays with Dominican Republic youngsters.

Like the evil marriage-challenging foreign sex-crazed pre-tweens who threatened the core of our moral fiber by seducing national conscience Rush Limbaugh, reports confirm that Obama is black.

 
 

Mayo is for roast beef and turkey! And maybe tuna salad! Ketchup (not that european crap, catsup) is for fries!

Ketchup is for children. Anything heavier than a light mustard and you’re just having fry-shaped candy.

 
 

If you don’t drop everything you’re doing and read this, the pirates will win retroactively.

And I don’t mean Pittsburgh.

 
 

I will admit that Vlaamse friet are more Dutch than Belgian. Well, they’re (trans)literally Flemish which is pretty much the same thing as Dutch, much more so than those silly Frenchie speaking Walloons., I’ll tell you that.

I loved loved loved getting a cup of friet in Amsterdam where one finds a vendor on nearly every corner. The mayo has a lot more flavor than that plastic jar crap you think of as mayo. Come to think of it, though I have long been a culinary dilettante, it was only after spending time in Europe that I started making my own mayo.

Also, my child, mayo only goes with roast beef when it’s mixed with a fabulously large portion of horseradish. And a few drops of lemon juice. And some sour cream. And freshly ground white pepper.

 
 

Just caught it: the ‘that might be Samson/Abo standing next to the President’ ignores that the man standing next to Obama is significantly darker, has facial features not shared by any of the three younger men, and most importantly is visibly older than the President.

So it’s not just mistaking Eddie Murphy for Charlie Murphy, it’s mistaking Charlie Murphy for Prince.

 
 

The mayo has a lot more flavor than that plastic jar crap you think of as mayo.

Oh no, you din’t just make fun of Miracle Whip!

 
 

Ketchup is for children.

Oh yea? Well….well….what about on eggs, HUH?

HAH! Betcha didn’t think of that in your elitist left-coast gourmand dens with the opium and the snuff!

WOLVERINES!

 
 

I will admit that Vlaamse friet are more Dutch than Belgian. Well, they’re (trans)literally Flemish which is pretty much the same thing as Dutch, much more so than those silly Frenchie speaking Walloons., I’ll tell you that.

So far as I’m aware, the only food items whose universal attribution is native to the country of supposed origin are Turkish coffee and American cheese.

 
 

I’m here to tell you that I had one, Copper Bios, that truly should have been left in the diseased burro from whence it came.

I haven’t had that one, but every nation has their shames, including in the beer department. Stella Artois is Belgian, too, and I hate that stuff.

Ketchup is for children. Anything heavier than a light mustard and you’re just having fry-shaped candy.

I like fries with blue cheese dressing. Especially sweet potato fries. Were I a nation, I suppose that would be my shame.

Speaking of Dutch food and mayo, I had a salad in Amsterdam once and they’d plopped a at least 1/4 cup of mayo on top as the dressing. Maybe it had more flavor than American mayo, but the only thing I tasted was ew.

 
 

meta name=”keywords” content=”Yvette’s, health, fitness, weightloss, weight loss, religion, space aliens”

I like how the google-baiting at the end of the page. Go DudeOtep!

I thought the hamsters were going to get double meth rations now.

 
 

Oh yea? Well….well….what about on eggs, HUH?

Anything you can do by putting ketchup on eggs can be accomplished beautifully and tastefully with the cheapest salsa.

Seriously, though: ketchup’s main purpose in culinary terms is to placate children, who have poorly developed senses of taste (and register many tastes far more intensely than we do, making many extremely unpleasant) – it works by burying the objectionable flavor in sugar while leaving the mouthfeel intact.

Almost anything that appears to go well with ketchup will generally go as well or better with sugar (one surprising example being white rice) and the balance with salsa.

There are, of course, a rare few cases where ketchup goes from bland and culinarily heretic to outright offensive; I recall having a “hamburger pie” prepared casserole-style including mashed potatoes, string beans, unseasoned nonlean hamburger, American cheese, and ketchup, and besides things I am actually allergic to it’s the only thing which I feel nauseated to the point of vomiting after imagining. We resolved at that time to bring over a gallon of ice cream whenever the friend responsible wanted to do anything that would entail eating.

 
 

You can just taste the desire to call them Ooga-Booga and Bingo-Bongo and Niggitynogs. “You mean that’s not their names???”

 
 

Anything you can do by putting ketchup on eggs can be accomplished beautifully and tastefully with the cheapest salsa.

Look, that has “vegetables” in it and according to Ronald Reagan, ketchup already is a vegetable, so I don’t want to ruin my nutritional balance by eating MORE “vegetables”!

 
 

Also, Yvette’s has to be a pisstake.

 
 

It’s difficult to properly judge imported beer because a lot of it turns somewhere in the time and space between them Belgian monks or whatnot and your glass. I’ve had bottles of Optimator which tasted great and bottles which tasted like the devil’s ass pennies. One of my favorite imports, the Polish Black Boss Porter, tastes like decaying dog fur about one time out of every ten.

And it’s not necessarily just imports, either. I enjoy Full Sail’s beer, and it’s very local to PDX. And they have some pretty good quality control — Session tastes like Session every time — but some of their beers seem to be really susceptible to spoilage. I remember gushing about how great their No. 1 LTD lager was to some friends and, later, splitting a six pack with them which ended up tasting like bong water and toilet scum.

So, uh, I guess my point is that it’s difficult to properly judge bottled beers, especially imports. Heineken always tastes skunky to me, but I’m told it’s a lot better in Europe. Etc.

Fries with mayo are great; fries with blue cheese dressing are amazing; jojos with fresh buttermilk ranch are transcendent. Good ketchup, used sparingly, is good w/ fries if you don’t want to die of congestive heart failure at 30; regular Heinz/Hunt’s ketchup is good for making crappy food palatable. Any eggs which would be improved by the application of ketchup would be even more improved by application to the garbage can.

 
 

So far as I’m aware, the only food items whose universal attribution is native to the country of supposed origin are Turkish coffee and American cheese.

American cheese is not, never was, can not in any way be called or mistaken for food.

Oh no, you din’t just make fun of Miracle Whip!

Miracle Whip does not have flavor. Whatever it is that it has, it better keep it to itself.

Also, you trailer trash, low rent, redneck scuzzbuckets aren’t aware you are talking about tomato catsup. One can make catsup from many things – any fruit, really. I once made a blackberry catsup to go on pecan crusted catfish fillets.

[shhh – I’m not allowed to tell you that even Jaques Pepin occasionally uses a few dollops of ketchup. . SHSHSHSHSHHH!]

 
 

I once made a blackberry catsup to go on pecan crusted catfish fillets.

We call that “jelly” here in Amurca. Keep it straight.

 
 

Oh boy! Ice cream! Pass the ketchup!

 
 

Oh boy! Ice cream! Pass the ketchup!

Here in Amurca, we put ketchup on our boogers.

 
 

alec: A gallon of ice cream, eh? No real ice cream comes by the gallon, boy. Real ice cream comes by the centilitre and is made with snowflake baby fetuses and unicorn milk.

 
Richard M. Nixon
 

I liked ketchup on cottage cheese which, come to think of it, may have been the root of all my problems.

 
 

How could eating your vegetables cause problems?

 
 

Oh boy! Ice cream! Pass the ketchup!

Ice cream is one of the many things a Sonoran relative of mine will not eat without hot sauce. Others include turkey, mashed potatoes, and most kinds of bean.

(He’s actually not big on ice cream, or most candy, at all – the American childhood diet includes a sickening amount of sugar, so by and large what we like to eat as snacks are intolerably sweet to someone for whom the idea cognate to candy implies a pastry.)

alec: A gallon of ice cream, eh? No real ice cream comes by the gallon, boy. Real ice cream comes by the centilitre and is made with snowflake baby fetuses and unicorn milk.

Oh, I won’t dispute that it’s ice cream in much the same way that “orange drink” only manages to qualify because of the name of the color, but it’s cheap and similar enough to ice cream to fool Jesus.

 
 

American cheese is not, never was, can not in any way be called or mistaken for food.

You will note that occasionally we feed it to disfavored pets and the poor. And it fills a vital niche for the iPhone-buying asshole for whom the process of cheesemaking just isn’t artificial and dehumanizing enough.

 
 

Are there no civilised folks among the Sadlynaughts? Doesn’t anybody down there eat fries with vinegar? I’ve never quite understood how anyone can eat fries with ketchup (which is tantamount to soaking them in tomatoey molasses), or with mayonnaise (which is like oil painting the already greasy lily). Gotta have something to cut the grease. FWIW, I find even well-cooked fries greasy.

Despite being a furriner, I am not from the part of the country that invented the abomination unto the eyes of gods and men (and not a few goddesses and women, too) known as poutine, and pronounced appropriately “poo tin” in the Quebec vernacular, as in take a shit in a can and dump it on some fries.

 
 

Doesn’t anybody down there eat fries with vinegar?

I discovered that at the age of ten in Montreal and spent the next decade acting like I invented it. Vinegar has the side benefit of keeping Mrs. __B from stealing my fries: she’s of the Russian persuasion and will drown my fries in sour cream if preventative shock and awe tactics are not employed.

 
 

Fries with vinegar…mmmmmmm.

I have fond memories, especially of the chip wagons that used to supply a ton of fries drenched in malt vinegar and salt wrapped in a newspaper cone. Those were the best fries ever.

 
 

peej@1937–LOL i see what you did there. george w bush. rofl. and hey how about all that time clinton spent supervising the interns, as long as we’re catching these things before they’re really driven into the ground.

president obama seemingly abandoning his brother to a life of squalor and getting stoned is a different issue from the issues raised by allowing these other, different, people to visit. under different circumstances, libs would be the first to squawk that there is a difference between smoking pot and committing sexual assault, but it gets so confusing down here in the hive that issues sometimes get muddled.

 
 

That way you don’t even have to go to Google to document Hoft’s gob-smacking idiocy smack-Hoft-in-the-gob hypocrisy.

Fazizzled.

 
 

libs would be the first to squawk that there is a difference between smoking pot and committing sexual assault

What, whereas true-blue American patriots would insist they are both the same thing?

Fucking weak sauce, steamer boy.

 
 

Ketchup is for children. Anything heavier than a light mustard and you’re just having fry-shaped candy.

Garlic mayo (aoili) is also an excellent condiment on fries. Basically, if God had wanted us to put tomato-scented sugar solutions our fries, She wouldn’t have made the sacred potato such a wonderful base for delicious grease in all its varieties.

 
 

Could Gateway Pundit look any more like Darrell Hammond playing Gateway Pundit?

 
 

Next thing you ketchup-phobes will tell me is mustard doesn’t belong on pretzels.

HERETICS!

 
 

Holy hell.

Enough condiment talk for a 3Bulls thread.

If you guys start in on the Sink Lettuces, I shan’t be back.

 
 

“(safe for work, but click at your own risk!)”

Where is Mirsky now that we need him??

 
 

(comments are closed)