Shorter Yuval Levin
Posted on April 7th, 2009 by Brad
- Y’know what General Motors needs to invest more money in? Gas guzzlers.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
You guys are getting so stupid that I’m actually starting to feel sorry for you.
I was wondering who, and how long, it would take to make this idiotic trial balloon get enough gas in it to float.
I was hoping for someone more…substantial.
I kind of feel the same way about these people that the kind of person who can actually call themselves a man’s man without irony might feel about somebody whose idea of earning the same is buying a cosmetic HMMV kit on top of a soccer-mom car and bragging about how expensive it is to pay for its gas, you know?
It’s just pathetic. Kind of like throwing every kind of subisdy and national policy support possible at your auto industry and being rewarded by a decade of finding really butch names to call four-door minivans. I’m really looking forward to the 2012 Republican nominee spending half of his war chest trying to gin up populist outrage about the lack of a ’13 Ford Bearfucker. Is this the change we believed in??
Also, would someone please please please FEED THE FUCKING HAMSTERS ALREADY?!?!?
Yuval can’t understand why anyone would buy a car not equipped with the penis extender.
What? The UAW isn’t being blamed for GM going bust? Must be something wrong, I’ll pop over to the Corner to check everyone’s okay…
Oh look, Mark Steyn chimed in on “a sign of the times”.
“And, if you mandate small cars and child-seat regulations, don’t be surprised if the size of the American family starts heading south, too.”
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OGJiNzhkNzUzNDQzMzk2ZDc1YzE5MGE2MzcyNTIwYjk=
Phew, teh crazy is alive and well.
This whole lunacy always raises in my mind how easily persuaded Americans are to do absolutely stupid things.
Buying a truck, for example. If you ain’t hauling timber from your logging camp, you don’t fucking need one. We had huge families in the exurbs for centuries before the Chevy Tahoe came along and it’s no coincidence, I think, that they become popular just as people realize what a stupid idea suburban sprawl is.
Indeed, I’d say it might be a cause of that realization.
The PUMA is not intended for people to tool down the highway and it’s about time GM realized there’s an entire market out there to mine with a vehicle like this.
“And, if you mandate small cars and child-seat regulations, don’t be surprised if the size of the American family starts heading south, too.”
By size I take it he means fewer kids, but as they’ll also be so much fatter the actual “size of the American family” may not go down much at all in raw poundage.
Also 1) his chin needs a safety seat all its own and 2) I WANT THAT HAT.
Not to mention that if you let the wacky green extremists outlaw harmless lead in gasoline, the unstoppable rise in knocking will destroy civilization as we know it, and before you can say ‘marching morons’ you’ll need a degree in Serbo-Croatian literature to buy Tab and Cheez Doodles from the corner store.
These people literally fart and laugh at inventions that utilize THE FUCKING WHEEL in new and efficient ways. They are stupider and more backward than cavemen.
But then where will I put my trucknutz?!
Buying a truck, for example. If you ain’t hauling timber from your logging camp, you don’t fucking need one.
Unless you really enjoy being the guy who everyone calls when they’re moving.
But this brings up a good point about the Humvee–I was thinking just the other day that I’d hardly ever seen one that wasn’t immaculately clean. I think I saw one once that looked like it had been taken offroad. Also, they’re never towing anything. So basically, I think we know why people (men) buy them, and it ain’t for their utility.
Like you, I’m just a simple unfrozen caveman Presidential candidate. There’s a lot of things I don’t understand about this crazy world of yours. I hear you’ve got something rounder than a wheel now, and that scares me. But at least I don’t let my loincloth sag around my knees like some kind of savage.
Since when has actual need been any part of our consumer society? It reminds me of when Martha Stewart first hit; I’d see women nuts over her that I knew were much too busy to fold their own origami napkins and spray paint pumpkins, but for them it was like Domestic Porn.
No chance they’d actually do the Gracious Living thing, but they loved to read about it.
The only two GM cars in the top ten were the Chevy Silverado and the Chevy Impala. Why not a few more like those?
A few more like the Impala? Like, say… a Buick Century, Buick Regal, Chevrolet Monte Carlo, Oldsmobile Intrigue, Pontiac Grand Prix, Buick LaCrosse or Chevrolet Lumina which ALL USE THE SAME PLATFORM!?!?!?
Might be a better idea to try and make a FWD sedan that doesn’t fucking suck. And no, a 300 HP 5.7L 500 Lb V8 isn’t “not suck” in a FWD car.
I agree with actor 212, the whole pickup truck thing is pointless. I did consider one myself briefly, since I could use a large vehicle to haul around dozens of recycled bicycles, but then I realised that vans give more room than a full sized pickup, have much lower beds, and your stuff doesn’t get rained on or nicked.
Know what I would like to see? More promotion of motorcycles as an eco friendly and congestion reducing form of personal transport. The technology exists to make a medium power output bike with all the emissions reduction tech of a modern car. There are even diesel engines that can do the job. Motorcycles seem the only way to make more ecologically sound vehicles which don’t make you look like a dork. Good luck getting Harley davidson to try something like that though! They make GM look modern!
Oh, and it isn’t like GM don’t have an entire range of reasonably decent quality cars which get up to 75mpg. But that would mean building European cars in the US, and getting people used to the idea of a 5 seater car which is less than 4 metres long.
Giraffes have long necks because they stretched up to eat leaves.
Oh, and the other thing. Know why the Impala has such good sales? Tax breaks for fleet purchases. It’s a socialized vehicle fer chrisake.
Dammit, if the American auto industry starts making trucks, they’ll start making fewer truck ads, and then where will Bob Seger get his song royalties from? Where, I ask you?
Sheesh. People never think of the impact of economic policy on Seger.
Good luck getting Harley davidson to try something like that though!
Then they’d have to stop knocking the pictures off my fucking walls.
You’d be very lucky getting the average wingnut who whines about faggy European cars with fuel efficiency to tell you how to change his Suburban’s oil, let alone to imagine how a car might win the Grand Tour. It’s all empty signifiers and modern codpieces.
Same goes here. My dad was a huge bike dork as a young man, so the idea of a Presidential candidate whooping it up at Sturgis was hilarious to him. A Harley is what you get if you’re having a midlife crisis but don’t actually want to touch a younger man/woman, and are also a corporate lawyer or advertising executive.
But then where will I put my trucknutz?!
… later that same day …
Motorcycles seem the only way to make more ecologically sound vehicles which don’t make you look like a dork.
BIKENUTZ!!!!
Mark Steyn’s post is even more stupid than I initially assumed.
Steyn: “Americans have kids and Europeans don’t. So Italians and Spaniards and Germans (and Japanese) can drive around in things the size of a Chevy Suburban’s cupholder because they’ve got nothing to put in them.”
Oh really?
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_ave_siz_of_hou-people-average-size-of-households
More to the point though, according to the Steyn theory, the Pope seems to be key to keeping GM in business.
I think this is part of Steyn’s wider point – that Catholics are of course a bunch of worthless, ignorant wogs without the good sense to be God-fearing Anglicans, but God help us if the Moslem/Jewish/Chinese conspiracy robs white civilization of its mainstay, the stretch pickup.
And this just points up how ridiculously pointless the consumer society has become; a vehicle is anything but a vehicle.
You’d be very lucky getting the average wingnut who whines about faggy European cars with fuel efficiency to tell you how to change his Suburban’s oil, let alone to imagine how a car might win the Grand Tour. It’s all empty signifiers and modern codpieces.
They think LSD is a drug and IRS is a government department.
Off-topic: Troops go nuts over Obama’s visit. Hope some wingnutz’ head asplodes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4EFn8sbMY4
Now, back to the TruckNutz!
Alec, you wouldn’t catch me buying a Harley. I am allergic to badly balanced engines, overweight bikes, vague steering, and paying a huge amount of money for a complete turd because it has lots of chrome on it
Since NATO went over to diesel as their standard fuel, they had a diesel bike engine developed. 350cc or so, 30 horsepower direct injection, and torque delivery like an engine 3 times the size.
The BMW c1 was a valiant effort at building a practical commuting motorbike, but they didn’t understand people would rather get a bit wet than look a fool.
Yeah, there is NO reason at all you can’t put trucknuts on the back of a bike. It would match the cock on top.
I just wish the legislator and marketing people would realise that motorcycles are the ONLY opportunity to make green motoring look sexy! Compared with an SUV, they are 10 times the testosterone, 10 times the chance at a Darwin award, and a fraction of the fuel consumption.
Be nice if American car mfrs realised the benefits of turbodiesels too. Every fleet car in Europe is sporting a TD between 1.6 and 2.5 litres. They work magnificently. But then again, the American market is one which still clings on to automatic gearboxes, because changing gear is too much like work. Automatic gearboxes waste so much fuel you could use the savings to hire a mexican cab driver to drive the manual car FOR you.
Yuval got a lotta Levin to do.
While we’re on the subject of awful middle-aged men, Metallica are selling crap tickets to a show at the MGM Grand for over $1000.
Metallica.
I honestly thought I could buy a weekend of Lars Ulrich handjobs for half that. There goes my spring break.
The main reason not to buy a pickup truck for everyday use:
They are fricking uncomfortable. Seriously, go on a five hour drive in one of those suckers and see if you aren’t ready to throw yourself out of the window at around mile 300.
Sure, you could buy a big cushy four door but that puts you well into the “We can’t put anything in the bed, it might scratch the paint!” price range.
Yuval Levin: For anyone wondering how General Motors went bankrupt, their latest innovation offers a pretty good hint.
No, it absolutely does not. GM didn’t go broke because they had a few exotic research programs going. They went broke because a.) last summer, when the price of gas in the U.S. rocketed up to over $4.00 a gallon, in response to a decade of domestic demand they had heavily invested in making big trucks and SUVs, and accumulated a huge inventory of these vehicles, which due to the gas-price shock, suddenly no one wanted to buy, and b.) no sooner did the price of gas drop to less-painful levels than the unemployment rate started zooming upwards, so all the Americans who were nervous about possibly losing their jobs next year decided very sensibly to put off buying that new car until the year after next. That’s the one-two punch that has put GM (and Chrysler) on the mat.
Levin: The only two GM cars in the top ten were the Chevy Silverado and the Chevy Impala. Why not a few more like those?
“Why not?” No, why? Because GM already makes those! If you want a new Impala (boring crap) or a new Silverado (the best pickup you can buy) then you just head on down to your Chevy dealer and buy an Impala or a Silverado. What GM needs to do is make themselves competitive in the parts of the market where they don’t already have best-selling models. Specifically, they need to go after customers who would buy a Honda Civic or a Toyota Corolla – or a Prius.
But I think GM won’t do ever it until they get over their “don’t care” attitude toward small, light, economical and fun-to-drive cars, and their snobby “piss on you” attitude toward people who buy them. The new Malibu is a good start, but it’s still a pretty big car. GM has always been able to make great cars at the high end of the market. Today, for example, they produce the superb Cadillac CTS and the incredible Corvette C6 (in three trim levels, awesome, awesomer and awesomest). These compete with the best cars in the world. But when it comes to small, low-priced cars, their products have traditionally been boring and shoddily made. Back when GM began their slow slide down from being the biggest carmaker on the globe, if you could only afford a low-priced car you could buy a Chevelle and have it fall apart practically before you left the car lot, or you could buy a Toyota/Honda/Datsun and get an intelligently designed, well-built, reliable, durable little car. That contempt for the small-car buyer is what got them where they are today, in second-place behind Toyota.
Harley Davidson doesn’t sell motorcycles.
“What we sell is the ability for a 43-year-old accountant to dress in black leather, ride through small towns and have people be afraid of him.” – some Harley Exec
I’d like to see more bikes just because it would take cars off the road. Fucking cagers.
Buying a truck, for example. If you ain’t hauling timber from your logging camp, you don’t fucking need one.
If there are no trucks, will Calvin suffer from anuresis?
Another reason not to buy a pickup truck for everyday use:
They are constructed to haul things, not be driven. The combination of weight in the front, drive wheel in the back, without a load, is misery on roads with weather.
If riding a Harley is such a “rebellious” act then why do all Harley riders dress the same? It’s like they all dressed up as bikers for Halloween or something.
He’s right. GM has flooded- flooded, I say!- America’s markets with small, uncomfortable cars that no one wants to buy. I swear I see itty-bitty one-door Euro-style cars on car lots all the time. All. The. Time.
Really, man? Really?
If riding a Harley is such a “rebellious” act then why do all Harley riders dress the same? It’s like they all dressed up as bikers for Halloween or something.
“Trick or teat!”
Just once I want to see Calvin pissing on the cross or worshipping Ford. Is it so much to ask?
So basically, I think we know why people (men) buy them, and it ain’t for their utility.
It’s for that tricky 3 degree incline in the mall parking lot on a drizzly day.
If there are no trucks, will Calvin suffer from anuresis?
There are several Republicans of either sex who would gladly enjoy a little hosing.
Which GOP shithead in Congress waved around a picture of the Smart car in Congress as if having them sold in the US would make his wee-wee shrink?
For fuck’s sake: GM is in the middle of bringing the Chevy Cruze to market around the world, building on its actual success in selling small, relatively fuel-efficient cars in non-US markets. They have gearsticks. They have diesel engines. People buy them.
Basically the same with the Silverado, I think: it fits into the class that used to be for tractors and F350 Super Duty trucks, which allows a huge immediate depreciation write-off as a business vehicle.
Word. But who’s going to make them? Not Harley. FFS, Americans want their John Deere lawn tractors to have a V8.
Anyway, this Segway thing is a side-project. The budget is tiny. NRO is populated by arses.
i approve of that photo.
Holy fucking jumping Jesus Yuval Levin is a stupid bitch!
I will say this: Gearsticks suck. I enjoy the traveling experience a little better when whiplash/vomit aren’t issues.
Lets see, the top ten sellers comprise about 2,000,000 smaller, fuel efficient cars (add another 265,000 if you count the Impala, which gets 29mpg in some iterations) versus a few more than a million trucks for Detroit.
Six of the top ten, and six of the seven cars on the list are foreign cars. So yeah, the lesson is to build more trucks. I also know those trucks were profitable for Detroit last year since I bought a brand new half-ton Dodge for a little over half the sticker price last September. Right before the dealer, who had been selling trucks to hillbillies for past twenty years, went bankrupt.
cars schmars. Bring back trolleys and streetcars. They can hold LARGE families.
I’m pretty disinterested except as a huge fan of empty signifiers as a genre – dyslexia/dysgraphia on one side, dysnumeria on the other, and a personal inability to distinguish left and right or suss out rotational directions plus road hypnosis adds up to ‘take the bus’ (or the train, as the case will hopefully be when I’m finally in Portland).
I’m only ever a passenger. I absorb a lot of information via osmosis – family of amateur mechanics’ll do that – but my main interest is people who somehow know less about cars than I do trying to gainsay every expert on the state of American auto manufactory in the last twenty years. (That and the perpetual Blame The Unions bacchanalia. Yeah, because we totally dodged a bullet forcing Detroit to pay for its employees’ insurance directly. Remember, aspiring lefties, the foundation of the kulturkampf is the right’s generally unchallenged reflexive union-hate; this makes unions in the main worth defending even if they’re a front for the damn Mob, if only because the alternative is a world of Yuval Levins.)
Oh look, Mark Steyn chimed in on “a sign of the times”.
Is there anything he thinks is not to do with demographics/the muslimicafaction of Europe by the gay Islamic hordes? Thai spice flavoured crisps (chips, for our Yankee brethren), the Iphone???
Automatic gearboxes waste so much fuel you could use the savings to hire a mexican cab driver to drive the manual car FOR you.
Fucken yeah. Automatics suck, and with all due respect, are produced for morons….if you need a machine to change gears for you, you shouldn’t be driving or out on your own, for that matter. Still remember the strange reaction I got trying to hire a stick shift in Calgary, swear the guy thought there was something wrong with me.
My SV650 runs pretty clean. I get about 50 mpg except when I’m canyon carving and then it drops to a measly 37 or so. The Ho and I and our biker buddies frequently fit four bikes in the space of one car – on the highway and in parking spots. You can buy one brand spanking new for about 7K to 8K.
There is one downside that I must discuss. We rarely take the shortest route anywhere. That 15 minute commute can easily take several hours when the weather is especially nice.
D.N Nation: you DO know you are supposed to slip the clutch a little when changing gear? Autos are bloody rough and jerky in comparison when you learn to drive a manual smoothly. Here in Britain men would rather admit to having a small cock than admit they can only drive an auto. Many would rather cut a couple of inches off the end than drive an auto.
Harley Davidson have really over-exploited their brand name. They are now loosing sales because people want to AVOID the stock broker in leather image, and of course there are many far eastern cruisers which are nicer to ride, and even more attractive looking too. Not to mention they have been beaten soundly on the sheer testosterone scale by the Triumph rocket 3. 2.3 litres, 160 horsepower, and capable of pulling alarming wheelies despite the massive wheelbase.
Anyone ever noticed how the American auto industry has NO success outside America? The big multinationals can’t sell a US car to europe, they have to have a whole different range developed IN europe. The American favourites just won’t sell. I’ll tell you a secret. This is because the US models are SHITE.
Three letters for you automatic-haters: CVT
In Am/CanE, ‘hire’ refers exclusively to contracting labor. The word you woulda wanted is ‘rent’. One hires a driver and rents a limo.
Pity CVTs break if you put much torque through them, or sap too much power if you over-engineer them to take the torque. They have been used effectively in a couple of cars, they still rob you of engine braking. They work bloody well on scooters though, due to the low torque, narrow power band, and fast throttle response. The heavier the vehicle, the more useless a mechanical CVT is.
The only CVT technology that really works is called the electric motor.
Here I will defer to the Jon-Stewart-on-the-War-on-Christmas reasoning: Dude, I’ve got shit to do. You completely lost me at “learn to.”
We all have our silly hangups. I’d rather eat glass than British peas.
YEAH! And if you NEED a MACHINE to RISE OFF THE GROUND FOR YOU, you shouldn’t ENTER BUILDINGS WITH MULTIPLE FLOORS!
and with all due respect, are produced for morons
This juxtaposition does not compute.
I’ll second the CVT. I’m currently driving a Nissan with the CVT. What a joy. Goes like a scalded cat when you ask it to, otherwise it just lives at two grand. Very nice.
And look, I understand all the HD bashing. I mean you just can’t be a cool kid if you like Harleys. Of course, those of us who enjoy riding bikes and don’t feel like we need to compensate for a perceived shortage in penis by going 105 miles an hour around corners just laugh at you and your stupid cafe bikes or whatever you call them this decade. We sit back in comfort, with a joyous rumble eminating from a righteous V-Twin, our feet up on pegs folded down off of chrome crash bars, deep comfortable saddle and plenty of actual room for a young lady to join us, and we watch with a smile as you go dashing by, lying on your stomach, stretching down to grip a set of bars about as poorly ergonomically located as one can even imagine, noticing every little pebble because YOU’RE SITTING ON YOUR NUTS FER CRISSAKES!!!
Look. You don’t wanna ride a big ol’ V Twin, then don’t. But all the carping and bashing ultimately only reveal that down in your biker’s soul you WISH you weren’t afraid of your friends laughing at you so you could ride one too.
Someday, when you’re a big boy, you won’t put being “cool” ahead of doing what you really want…
mikey
YEAH! And if you NEED a MACHINE to RISE OFF THE GROUND FOR YOU, you shouldn’t ENTER BUILDINGS WITH MULTIPLE FLOORS!
And if you’re unable to program a computer in machine code, you shouldn’t be on the Internet.
Someday, when you’re a big boy, you won’t put being “cool” ahead of doing what you really want…
This is the best part of no longer being a teenager.
In spite of my overwhelming attachment to manual gearboxes, after driving a few Audi’s and VW’s, I have to say their DSG is damn slick. I love it.
When I bought my F-150 back in ’94 for my gardening business, I insisted on getting the bench seat. It’s the bucket seats that screw up my back on long drives. PLus, it’s a lot nicer for the dogs. I also got the little triangular vent windows in addition to the manual transmission. Salesman thought I was nuts. Apparently, that was seriously old school even at the time. Still the most comfortable vehicle I’ve driven since. Still working, BTW.
It’s also much more practical for loading and unloading 4 yds of bulk compost, mulch, etc. than our Subaru Wagon.
—————-
On a related topic — on hybrid vehicles that offer a choice between auto and manual transmissions, the auto rates out at a higher MPG. I presume this is because of the computer monitoring/balancing of the electric/ICE thingy.
Welllll… This part of the conversation is long gone, but I take a bit of issue with the discussion regarding pickups. I have one, and I find it damn useful. I just remodeled the bathroom and made numerous trips to the lumber store. I get a half ton of wool pellets for my pellet stove at time (seeing as pellet stoves are much more efficient and less polluting than wood stoves). See if you can do that in a Chevy car. I currently need to go get several loads of gravel to fix the huge potholes in my 200 yard long dirt driveway, after all the wet weather we had this winter….
When my truck isn’t acting in a truck capacity, it is mostly parked in the driveway when I use my 12 year old Oldsmobile (hey, it’s a classic now!) which gets about 30 mph to commute to work. Both vehicles have been paid for for years.
So, I would agree that quite a lot of people used to buy trucks because they were big and could crush the car in front of them if they really felt like it, or were just an extension of the male macho ego. But some people really do use trucks as trucks.
Anyone ever noticed how the American auto industry has NO success outside America?
Not actually true. Ford is doing pretty well outside the US and Buick is a hot brand in China of all things. Also GM’s Opal line, a Euro mainstay, hasn’t had the success in America reskinned as “Saturns”.
Overall, I hear you though.
I must say in defense of manual transmissions, they’re a cheap form of auto theft prevention. No one can drive those suckers any more.
And sports cars with automatic are kinda … not really sports cars. I mean you should have to put a little effort into breaking the speed limit. Badly. Shouldn’t you?
I am SO sorry I missed this. Anne Coulter in her April 1 column:
Stinque caught it:
Heh. Haha. BWAHAHAHAAHAA
Oops. That’s “wood pellets”, not “wool pellets”. That would be weird in the extreme, not to mention rather vile smelling.
“Big Heat Wool Pellets, like a sweater for your
lungshouse”Zeppo,
Your use of a pickup I would class under my original condition of “hauling a load of timber”
Of course, many home supply places nowadays do deliver, and I suspect that’s how they handle these sort of things in England, with a lorry.
“wool pellets”. That would be weird in the extreme, not to mention rather vile smelling.
Why not? Cow chips make fine fire starters! I imagine sheepshit probably does too.
V twins suck balls, they are rough as arse. Virtually any bike will blatt away gently when you don’t rev it. But a Harley doesn’t liven up when you open the throttle, THAT is the problem. It isn’t any fun unless the thud turns into a roar, and then into a howl.
Chrome crash bars? What FOR? Because you need more chrome, or because you are going to crash? Mind you, I did know a bloke who used them as a substitute for his broken side stand..
Harleys (and indeed most cruisers) are as unergonomic as you can get. Ape hangers give you no control, and you tense up and lean forwards, trying to guide the bastard thing around even the most gentle of curves. The only cruiser I ever owned got a set of flat V bars to replace the apehangers in short order.
What I really WANT is to simultaneously indulge my fetishes for 50s cafe racers, turbochargers, and huge single cylinder engines. Unfortunately, the local dealership seems to be all out of those…
Nothing wrong with going slow. I enjoy that myself. But I would rather do it on a bike pointy enough to aim it through the traffic, with a high enough seat to keep my legs at a comfortable angle and let me see what is going on, and with wheels that actually seem connected to the road.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the power rangers much either, I prefer to kick the plastic bits off as WELL as the chrome bits. Neither of them look pretty or do anything useful. All of my bikes look like they have been dragged through a hedge backwards. I damn well know what I want, and it doesn’t involve a V twin cruiser.
Mikey, I dunno what kinda cafes you go to, but even the cheapest solid Japanese machine (to say nothing of the mid-to-high market stuff most people would be after) isn’t gonna be particularly congruous there.
And sure, you can do circles around Vespas, but there’s a reason they ain’t put assassins on Harleys in the movies any more, and that’s Vespas no longer being the only foreign bikes on the road. ‘Self-balancing badass’ has connoted something vaguely like a Ninja for the last twenty-some years. These days HDs are somewhere between pushbikes and particularly sexy unicycles.
Old Harleys never die. They just vibrate apart.
GM’s business model has consisted of “buy our stuff or else” for a really long time, since at least the 1950s, anyway. They don’t seem to get that “demand” isn’t supposed to work on the “push” model, or that they’re supposed to listen to what customers want, rather than dictating to them what they should want.
if you need a machine to change gears for you, you shouldn’t be driving or out on your own, for that matter.
You, uh, don’t know anyone who uses a vehicle modified for exclusively hand controls, do you? Speaking as someone who’s a perfectly capable driver using an automatic, but isn’t coordinated enough due to a motor disability to really drive a standard very well, I kind of like automatics. As an option at least until the local public transit and/or paratransit stops fucking sucking so badly. FWIW, I don’t drive anymore, but here, if you’re, say, in a wheelchair, you’re looking at up to a 3-hour wait for service if you don’t have a hand-controlled car, so pretty much every wheelchair user I know drives.
I dunno, we always used a hitched cab when we needed to haul a load of something and/or move. That way (1) we don’t have to replace it as it gradually goes obsolete (my family’s been hauling crap in ours since Nixon was president and my parents were still fucking on the sly) and (2) and somewhat more importantly, we don’t need to drive a damn pickup.
I can see the applicability, but it’s kind of like touting the latest Mac model’s relative prowess in one of those damn arguments: if you don’t know how to get that done out of the box, why should that sell you on it?
My penis is thiiiiiiiiiis big!
Well mine is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big!
On the balance I think I’d just like to be able to the the train.
I don’t like the power rangers much either
The Pink Ranger was teh hawt, however…
I like my 5 speed Accord. I learned to drive on my mom’s accord and my dad’s Sentra – both manual transmission cars that got great milage (just like my current accord).
What’s the beef with manual transmission cars?
What’s the beef with manual transmission cars?
There isn’t one, as far as I can tell. Just the statement that anyone who likes/drives automatic shouldn’t be outdoors without a helmet on. I’m a pretty live-and-let-live guy, but that kind of talk rankles.
What’s the beef with manual transmission cars?
None.
The beef is with automatic transmissions.
I drive one, grew up learning on one, and I would like to learn to drive manual, except in NYC, driving manual is taking your life into your own hands.
If you ain’t off the light a split second after it turns green, you can expect at least a gun to your head here. Sorry, but a manual transmission in midtown traffic is a headache for everyone within a square mile of the light you are sitting at.
Sockpuppet, YOU started this flame war, just remember that.,
While you’re right about Hardley’s V-twins don’t suck. My Shooslooki SV (technically an L-twin) is a hoot to ride. My Ducati 900SS (also technically not a V-twin) was a blast as well but that was in the 70’s.
Yes, thumpers are cool but a vertical twin is the bike for a cafe racer. Oh, how I miss my Dunstall’ed 750 Norton. Mechanical nightmare but damn damn damn it was fun to ride.
Also, if you want to blow a 50’s thumper, you’d better have plenty of spare cranks and gearboxes.
“Trick or teat!”
Life is full of difficult decisions.
What’s the beef with manual transmission cars?
All I got is they are teh 5uxx0r in bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic. Also a little tough to drive, drink coffee, and shift at the same time.
But for little 4 cyl. ricegrinders manual beats automatic any time…My Lancer wants to GO! (Automatic trannys just downshift and crank up the revs = no GO!)
PeeJ, I don’t really have much of a beef with the 90 degree twins, they work okay, and manage to rev. Wouldn’t mind a Duc at all. Parallel twin is usually lighter for the same size engine though, and boxers are even smoother, even if boxers do look stupid…
Sneaky plan is to find an engine from the new Royal Enfield, and add boost to that. It is pretty strong, but still an oldschool thumper at heart.
Actor: I don’t get what you are saying about manual cars in New York.. Why would you not come to a stop in the right gear? Coming from a place where everyone learns to drive in a manual (or your licence gets stamped “auto only”) unless they have a disability, it seems hard to understand.
Considering the amount of time a modern human spends in a car, it is amazing how little most people care about keeping them in good order, and driving them safely and appropriately. If we can’t even care enough about the things we do to maintain physical control over a car, how are we going to care about controlling the global warming they cause?
Therefore a manual transmission is a must? Jeebus, my car’s a piece of shit, but shifting gets me off the line faster than anybody except those with good cars with a manual transmission.
It is, however, an extra thing that you can make a mistake with while driving, and therefore not to be used by the easily dist – whoa! A butterfly!
Therefore a manual transmission is a must?
RB, no, the one thing you will find in city traffic is, if you hesitate for a second, the time it takes to press the clutch and engage first, you have a car up your tailpipe already because that asshole has worked out in HIS heads how long it will take you to release the brake and start rolling forward.
It’s even worse when you are on any kind of incline and you roll back that third of a millimeter. That’s a trip to the body shop for a new bumper!
Why would you not come to a stop in the right gear?
The few people I know who drive standard in the city always sit at lights in neutral. I’m not sure why, I would imagine it has something to do with being able to let their foot get a moment’s rest, or to make it easier to stop the car.
Roll back? Not have first engaged before the lights turn? That would fail your driving test here.
Most of the keen drivers I know don’t even bollocks around with block shifting. Sequential downshift with heel and toe whilst on the brakes, and able to take off instantly if traffic starts moving again. Similar to what bikers do.
Even if you sit at the lights in neutral, as some do on lights that take ages to change, you blip it and engage first as the lights go orange. If the lights don’t have an orange phase, you do that when traffic stops flowing in the other direction.
Here, if you want to drive a manual car, you have to pass your test in one. This sets some sort of minimum competency level. A low one, but a level none the less.
I’ve driven in Manhattan, and it wasn’t a big deal. The drivers I know in NYC are of Woody Allen-ish skill and they seem to get by fine.
Sitting at the light in neutral seems pretty kooky though.
The second law of thermodynamics means that you hippies should learn to drive a standard transmission.
Except for the cab drivers, who inhabit a strange binary world where the two states are Full_Throttle and Full_Brakes.
That’s cabbie reality everywhere. I recently got a dent from a cabbie whose excuse was “You stopped!”
If riding a Harley is such a “rebellious” act then why do all Harley riders dress the same? It’s like they all dressed up as bikers for Halloween or something.
No shit. I used to have a boss that did this.
58 years old, he’d dress up with his chaps and all, and ride into the office, parking his “hog” right by the front door.
He lived just three blocks away, too.
But see, there’s my actual REAL point.
Sure, I don’t understand why anybody would actually WANT to ride one of those rockets. They’re horrendously uncomfortable and there is no situation where I would want to go that fast. I need 0-60 in 2.6 for what, exactly? But see, I don’t feel the need to bray about how gawdawful they are, how horrible they handle, how ugly and unpleasant they are.
Know why? ‘Cause I actually DON’T wish I was riding one. Even down in my viscera, I don’t WANT to ride them. If, however, I really WANTED to ride a motorcycle at 130 mpg but I didn’t want my friends to laugh at me, I might feel the need to shout to the highest hills my disgust and distaste for all those plastic rockets.
But even if I did want to ride one, I would NEVER want anyone I know to see me in the matching leathers, helmets and cute little booties…
mikey
The drivers I know in NYC are of Woody Allen-ish skill and they seem to get by fine.
Repig beat me to it, but also there’s another brand of driver, the suburban commuter, who really turns driving in Manhattan into a full-contact sport.
We natives used to hit pedestrians for sport…you know, points, and you got extra points for difficulty (high school hurdling team in full flight was the max) or sentimentality (grandma walking twins in a pram just as the light turns green was the pinnacle there).
But even we knew not to fuck with these assholes.
If the lights don’t have an orange phase, you do that when traffic stops flowing in the other direction.
See, there’s your problem…traffic is supposed to stop????
Why Driving In New York City Is Dangerous
I was out in the desert in Egypt riding as a passenger in a minivan. We were the only thing on the road until a long way away I could see another van coming crosswise from the right. Both of us continued for about a half a minute to the T intersection where both drivers swerved to avoid a collision, then raced out to curse at each other.
Meanwhile, FauxNews explains the interducts
I love downshifting without using the clutch. Just the right blip on the throttle. Really freaks out some people.
St. Nick on a stick, where the hell are the trolls when we need them?
Trolls don’t have the patience to wait a minute and a half for the page to load, Bouffant…
mikey
Whaddaya want, This Day in History?
Dear Fox News:
Please explain your use of the word “powerful” in relation to 4chan. Because in my experience, no one who doesn’t already know what 4chan is would give a fuck about them. And rightly so.
So basically, I think we know why people (men) buy them, and it ain’t for their utility.
Tom the Dancing Bug was waaaaaay ahead of you.
Iris? Helloooooo? Bouffant misses you! He wants to hug you and kiss you and hold you close and never ever let go.
This is the most depressing thread I’ve ever read here. It’s as if I accidentally clicked on a link to “Sadly, Steve McQueen.”
I will never again read even the funniest mockery of wingnut macho bluster from some of you guys without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
I think I know the guy in the Honda. Seriously.
It’s going to be awfully hard resisting the temptation to ask him to confirm or deny.
Now that’s power.
Mikey: So why is it American harley riders at least, love to spout off about how much they hate Japanese crotch rockets all the time? THEY certainly have a chip on their shoulders about em.. You saying they all just want a Hayabusa?
You might be surprised at how much more comfortable a slightly more sporty riding position is. It is easier on the lower back, and lets you steer the bike in a much more natural fashion. If you tried it, you might even enjoy it. The high seat motocross style position is even better maybe.
Now, I HAVE tried riding cruisers, and really found the experience lacking. The type of rider that goes for harleys tend to get on my tits too. People who buy an open face helmet coz it fits the image, and then freeze their fucking nose off at anything over 40mph. So yes, they are going to get mocked, just like the people who buy leathers to match their fairing. Follow a fashion and you open yourself to the possibility, nay, probability of someone laughing at you.
If you look at the bikes used by people who spend all day in the saddle, as professional rider of some sort.. they go for touring bikes, beamers, and the “adventure bike” things. Occasionally mid range jap sports bikes with lots of road accessories. What is most practical to ride is pretty much settled now. Everything else is fashion, thrift, or racing.
Shorter Yuval Whateverhisnameis:
“Double down on the Hummers – not in the Clintoneque way though.”
I went through a stage when I used no clutch on both upshifting and downshifting. I used the clutch only to start. I was a wannabe Mario Andretti.
Now let’s all take our dicks out and wave them around for a few hours.
I, sadly, am condemned to dial-up for a while, so any reduction in hamster velocity is barely noticed.
It’s good to know it bugs the trolls, but their time at the lie-berry computer is probably limited, so they have to make the best use of it.
Okay!
I dunno, sockpuppet.
I spent about 16 years just rambling around on an old ’61 Panhead and then later on an early seventies Shovelhead.
Essentially covered every mile from el paso to jackson hole to seattle and every point west. Didn’t do much of holding a job, and never wanted to stay where I was, y’know?
Never wore any damn helmet, either.
I’m pretty sure that constituted being a “professional” rider.
Knew all the good spots from the Tiger Bar to Ciscos…
mikey
Damn.. 16 years and you never twigged that wearing a full face lid is a lot more comfortable? No buffeting, a lot warmer, no flies in your teeth, no messing about with separate eyewear..
You can’t say THAT decision didn’t have anything to do with fashion or machismo! Maybe the choice of bike was affected in a similar manner?
Of course, I suppose cost came into it too. I definitely know budget motorcycling, and let me tell you, nowadays it doesn’t involve anything with a HD badge, or any cruiser really. You see someone on a pre-dropped 90s sportsbike, and they are doing it the cheap way too.
Also, a lot of the good stuff just didn’t exist in the 70s. Whole classifications of bike have sprung up since then, and technology has moved on. Well.. Everything but Harleys have moved on. That is kind of the point really.. Just about anything is cheaper and nicer to ride. Nothing much left except nostalgia, resold as a lifestyle accessory to men with paunches and high disposable incomes.
I don’t know anything about motorcycles but I can recognize that “Panhead” and “Shovelhead” are cool words.
Carl “Javahead” Jones and his chopped espresso machine.
I think I’ll get my keyboard chromed as a symbol of rebellion.
Man, I need to get my metro card riced out. Add a spoiler, lower the suspension…at least slap a Type R sticker on it.
How ’bout “flathead” & “overhead?” Let’s get started on those two.
Jesus, use a manual transmission? Why not go back to using outhouses, milking your own cows and burning whale oil for light… cripes.
tired, so very, very tired….
My car can also be used as an outhouse.
Funny about Americans and cars. We will cheerfully admit to almost any fault: “I’m terrible with numbers”; “I have no sense of direction”; “I can never remember names”; “I I have two left feet when it comes to dancing”; “I sing like a wounded goose”. But Never, ever, will you find an American who will admit to being a poor driver.
Also, if you want to blow a 50’s thumper, you’d better have plenty of spare cranks
Just when I’m feeling inadequate about my limited knowledge of motorcycles, the Disney-themed furry posts commence. I cannot win today.
Before I get jumped on, yes, I meant “American man“
I’ve got two cars–a Lincoln Navigator and a Ford F-150 King Lariat Supercab.
They get single-digit mileage in city driving and I love ’em! It’s my CHOICE to drive these cars, and thank God Ford isn’t bending to the will of the Eco-Fascists, a condition of taking the Federal Bailout Buffet.
If Obama forces GM and Chrysler to stop making cars I and the American people want to buy, we’ll buy our trucks elsewhere! What do you think of that, liberal Eco-Fascists?
All people drive where I live are these heinous huge SUVs. We like to say that the asshole quotient goes up on Yukon drivers if it’s a Yukon XL. As for the Escalades and Hummers driven by the “Rhinestone Moms” I just have no sympathy. So I sink into another reread of a Carl Hiaasen favorite.
Man, that crap is just so fucking pathetic.
My sister has a Masters degree and holds an executive management position.
She readily and freely admits she is a terrible driver.
And holy crap. She IS!
She’s wrecked every car she has ever owned multiple times. She has driven into buildings, people, cars, even historical monuments. She’s wrecked her cars, her friends cars, her family’s cars, rental cars, even a truck she was tasked to drive by her coop in Berkeley. Once she tapped an old man in a crosswalk, and he beat the SNOT out of her car with his cane. No worries, it was a rental. But dented metal is her automotive legacy, and she is completely open about it. She shakes her head in wonderment every time they renew her license.
Her driving is a menace. Her honesty is refreshing. Her daughter is every bit as dangerous behind the wheel – more evidence for evolution. Although whatever might be the survival advantage of being a desperately crappy driver is hard to grasp, and might require further investigation…
mikey
I have two cars–a 2008 Lincoln Navigator and a 2006 Ford F-150 King Lariat Extended Cab. I get single digit mileage in city driving, but guess what? I don’t care! I can afford it. And if Obama forces American car companies to stop making the big-ass trucks we love, I’ll go to the foreign makers. I could get a Nissan Armada or a Toyota Sequoia.
You can’t stop FREE PEOPLE from making FREE CHOICES, Eco-Fascists. Nobody wants to drive your little electric toys.
At last, a troll:
Ford F-150 King Lariat Supercab
Furry posts indeed. Heh.
It is a good intro to the concept of “yaw”, though.
Much more fun if it’s on purpose.
Which suddenly becomes:
2006 Ford F-150 King Lariat Extended Cab.
Mere parody.
Driving on top of porpoises is SICK.
Fair enough, Mikey, but I did go back and stipulate that it tends to be American men who refuse to admit any deficiency in their automotive prowess, and you could probably add “heterosexual” to the description as well, although you have to admit it’s a pretty rare admission, even from women.
I would also add the corollary that American men are also, as a rule, very sure about their knowledge of automotive engineering and filled with disdain for cars they consider “inferior”. Furthermore, the bigger and more ecologically stupid their vehicle of choice, the stronger and more irrational those opinions become.
For a perfect example, just review the charming “Carbon/SUV Lover” troll, above.
I’m female.
“…traffic is supposed to stop????”
My favorite traffic light story: The wife-at-the-time and I leave a train station in outer Naples, Italy. The nice gents hanging around the station put us in a cab and tell the driver what hotel to take us to. We pull out into whizzing traffic, nearly kill a pedestrian, come to a red light, AND EVERYBODY KEEPS GOING.
I literally did a double-take. Traffic lights are like little multicolored decorations over the highway. God forbid anyone change their BEHAVIOR because of them.
Here’s the corollary that never fails to amuse me.
In my leisure time, as I have mentioned, I am an instructor in the tactical handgun. I am occasionally retained to train a husband and wife in defensive combat skills with specific weapons.
Here’s the funny part. American men have grown up pointing their fingers at other boys in the neighborhood, shouting BANG, I GOT YOU! The never “missed”. At an intuitive level, they didn’t have any thought that they might either be a bad shot or that becoming a GOOD shot would require work and effort. Just getting them to understand that they had to actually FOCUS on the front sight and control the recoil and get the gun back on target requires a tremendous amount of effort.
In the meantime, their spouse, who didn’t grow up thinking it was something between her divine right and instinctive ability to place fire on target, so she listens to simple instructions, works at it, and very quickly becomes a maximally lethal dealer of lead. I ALWAYS have the female working multiple assailant scenarios and room clearing strategies while I’m STILL trying to get hubby to fucking goddam AIM at the target he wants to hit.
We are the victims of the mythologies we were raised to believe…
mikey
SUV Lover reminds me of that “dick up a tailpipe” picture that has been posted here on festive occasions. He says he loves, but the SUVs all end up doing the drive of shame the next morning.
I was out in the desert in Egypt riding as a passenger in a minivan.
Was this one of these Road-to-Damascus gear changes?
It is a good intro to the concept of “yaw”, though.
What’s ‘yaws’?
[waits.]
All I know about Harleys is that a bunch of bearded types (male and female) with pudding bowls on their heads fart their way through downtown on a Thursday evening. If that’s not meant to project something to those within half-mile earshot, I’m not sure what is.
And Americans presumably drive automatics because their cars are built with learner-permit 15-year-olds in mind. Which is weird, because 12-y-o ASBO scrotes in British council estates can handle changing gear in the cars they nick.
I don’t know anything about motorcycles but I can recognize that “Panhead” and “Shovelhead” are cool words.
No, they’re code words. Only “knucklehead” riders know what they really mean.
Cf.
Gosh, I wonder why these auto companies aren’t taking his (“Thinking Outside The Box Marked SANITY“) advice, given that their last dalliance with an epic SUV-orgy drove all of them to the brink of total extinction in less than five years?
Especially since they can depend on cheap gas for at least the next, oh, three to six months or so – if nothing bad happens, maybe, they hope ( /pie-in-the-sky-script ).
It is a mystery.
The first vehicle I owned was a ’52 Chevy 1/2-ton pickup. It was a beast, and completely unsafe (it had never had seatbelts at all, and any padding that might have ever been on the dashboard was a distant memory) but man, I loved that truck! It was also the last engine I ever completely understood. I took every bit of the engine and drive train apart at one time or another, and put it back together with my dad. Ever since then, car engines have been a complete mystery to me, and frankly, if I never have to use another manual transmission again, I will die contented.
Aside: anyone around here actually, y’know, bicycle for short errands? (I could stand to do it more, but I also admit I’d’ve very much hated getting caught in the rain today.)
Ford F-150 King Lariat Extended Cab
Gosh mister! Your truck is so big and manly! We’re all really intimidated down here.
So yes, they are going to get mocked, just like the people who buy leathers to match their fairing.
That is silly. You can never get a really good match.
But one must not understimate the importance of color coordinating one’s riding togs. My jacket, gloves and tank bag all have red accents which match my red saddlebags and tailpack. The Ho goes with blue. It looks fabulous with his blue anodized rearsets.
For helmets, simple is best and you don’t much simpler than black, The matte gray and matte black finishes are ttruly the basic black of sportbiking!
Adn please, dears, please, have fun with your accessories!
I dearly miss my first car, a red 1976 Camero. Don’t miss its 12 mpg though.
Ha ha today I listened to Rush Limbaugh and he joked about the GM-Segway “Puma” car and he said it was so ridiculous and tiny you’d have to wear kneepads so then Rush joked about how then it would be perfect for Monica Lewinski oh no he didn’t oh yes he did ha ha Rush is so funny and those Monica jokes never get old for the really smart people tuning into Rush Limbaugh the best comedian ever.
Was it a Bitchin’ Camaro?
Although whatever might be the survival advantage of being a desperately crappy driver is hard to grasp, and might require further investigation…
You are behind the wheel, while your reproductive competition is not.
Sitting at the light in neutral seems pretty kooky though.
As someone who exclusively drove manuals up until two years ago (which encompassed about 25 years of driving), I can tell you that it’s damn tiresome, or at least it was for me, to keep the clutch depressed throughout every traffic light. Maybe some people don’t mind it, but I did.
And Mikey adds:
Her driving is a menace. Her honesty is refreshing.
An American who admits to being a shitty driver is a rarity, but I can do you one better. I know a male, about my age (mid-forties) who steadfastly refuses to drive, and the reason he unapologetically gives is that he’s no good at it. Mind you, he’s not some milquetoast, and if you didn’t know about the driving thing, you’d probably reckon him as one of the least likely men who’d ever admit such a thing.
I commended him on his honesty.
You just put us through the Harley-Davidson rigamarole, and now you’re going to trot out evo-psych? Are you mad?
An American who admits to being a shitty driver is a rarity, but I can do you one better. I know a male, about my age (mid-forties) who steadfastly refuses to drive, and the reason he unapologetically gives is that he’s no good at it.
I’m an American male, mid-forties, who hasn’t driven since my learner’s permit expired in 1982. I take trains and buses and walk. I’ve always known that I would not want or need a car, and someone who drives once or twice per year is by definition a lousy driver. There are enough of those without me.
I am, however, quite good at leaning toward open windows of assholes who don’t yield to pedestrians and threatening them.
I mostly walk everywhere for errands. Also to get to and from work (about .8 miles). This makes me an unusual critter in Columbus, OH.
Did someone call us?
I know this will shock some people, but I also walk just about everywhere that I need to go. Sometimes I bike. For trips out of town I BART or carpool. My farts smell heavenly.
Finally, a conversation I know something about!
I spent most of the late 80’s through the mid 90’s supplementing my performing musician’s income as a Los Angeles motorcycle courier. 1k+ mile weeks were all too common. I wouldn’t ride a cruiser on a bet. Nor a crotch rocket. It’s all about getting from point A to Z as quickly as possible and doing it day in, day out under all conditions. More work meant more miles which equaled more money. This left little time for wrenching, other than the usual maintenance. Middleweight Japanese fit the bill. Relatively light, maneuverable and generally reliable, these bikes were the standard. Also, you can’t beat 25+ mpg WFO, either. The law of averages inevitably took it’s toll and one could count on being punted by a cage driver caught unaware at least quarterly. The body heals but the bikes were usually scrap. Cheap and available, standard Japanese middleweights were my staple. The last one I used (and still own) was a 1990 Honda NT650 Hawk. An OHC, liquid cooled, six valve V-twin. Other than jetting and a pipe (the stock ones were always getting flattened and aftermarket replacements are cheaper) the motor is stock. Dead nuts lawnmower reliable. All my money went into making this bike safer by enhancing it’s handles. Bigger brakes, wider wheels, stickier rubber and premium suspension components were a must. Adjusting the riding position with high-ish clip-ons and mild rearsets put me in the proper posture for control. If I’m essentially running through traffic at 80+ mph, I wanna make sure I can go where I want, when I want, without undue drama RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Cheap, efficient transportation for urban SoCal. The visceral excitement of being “in the breeze” is part of it, too. My current four wheeled daily driver? A 1991 Miata. Stock, except for the rubber and suspension, of course! And, a better sound system (musician’s gotta have tunes, y’all). 25+ mpg WFO, all day.
Oh, and I’m hung like a G.I. Joe doll, too. . .
Knew all the good spots from the Tiger Bar to Ciscos…
This is clearly a line from one of our operas.
You are aware, of course, that we were satirizing you Americans?
I’m contemplating buying a bike.
Not to use, just to hang on the wall to provide credibility. So it looks like I’m cool. Like Seinfeld’s bike.
Mounted on a wooden plaque, MBouffant? You could have another plaque beside it, with the stuffed head of a cycle courier.
Yuval Levin a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine…
Opera? That sounds more like country music to me, and we invented that, bitches.
The mangled bike that comes w/ the head of a bike messenger is usually more three-dimensional at that point. A “conversation piece” in the middle of the room, or, if well splayed-out, a mobile in the grand entrance hall.
The messenger’s head is going between the jackalope heads in the trophy room, above the mantel.
It still satirizes America pretty well, even if we invented it.
Me too. I live in a good place.
Errands is a tough mistress..
Laundry is dirty business.
Laundry is a dirty business.
I’ve biked to work for years, used to be a 25-mile round-trip. Kept me sane, even though I worked for Agitation Is Guaranteed. I sometimes gave a Nelsonian “Ha Ha!” as I passed a line of cars stuck in traffic.
I can walk from my place to a dozen gin mills, eight pizzerias, two subway stops, two supermarkets- I really feel sorry for the troll, even if he loves signalling his smalldickitude. He says he can afford hunnert dolla fill-ups, but he’d be better served blowing his cash in a nudie-bar, where the entertainers are discreet enough not to laugh at his puny penile pissant.
Sorry for the double post…
Just as Marlo Thomas marshalled her DFH friends to produce Free to be You and Me in the 70’s, maybe Levin and his wingnut buddies can produce the Free to be Fucking Stupid video and CD extravaganza.
Speaking as someone who’s a perfectly capable driver using an automatic, but isn’t coordinated enough due to a motor disability to really drive a standard very well, I kind of like automatics. As an option at least until the local public transit and/or paratransit stops fucking sucking so badly. FWIW, I don’t drive anymore, but here, if you’re, say, in a wheelchair, you’re looking at up to a 3-hour wait for service if you don’t have a hand-controlled car, so pretty much every wheelchair user I know drives.
Speaking as someone who’s TAB but just not coordinated, I am actually looking forward to whatever GM ends up selling as a P.U.M.A. Along with all the other aging boomers, at least the female ones, who wince at every “Cancer patient accidentally smashes into clinic, killing 3” or “Elderly voter hits & kills small child in school parking lot” news story.
Son, I got just one word for ya.
Thundercougarfalconbird.
What we sell is the ability for a 43-year-old accountant to dress in black leather, ride through small towns and have people be afraid of him
These days accountants don’t have to wear black leather to be scary.
Dear Masters of the Sadly,
FEED THE FUCKING HAMSTERS ALREADY!
Please.
Aside: anyone around here actually, y’know, bicycle for short errands?
Yup. Or walk.
Unless the errand involves midtown Manhattan, in which case I will run and try to outrace the cabs.
You can’t stop FREE PEOPLE from making FREE CHOICES, Eco-Fascists.
Oh really?
Try killing anyone lately?
I walk and take transit everywhere. There’s a light rail station one block from my apartment, and from there it’s easy to get wherever else I want.
I’m thinking of buying a folding bike since there’s no good place to keep a bike in my apartment complex, but for now walking has been okay.
I’d ride to work, but the short-fingered vulgarian capitalist I work for– who assuages his eco-unfriendliness with large contributions to the NRDC and establishing a “green committee” (guess who’s on that?) while flying his fucking DOG in a private jet alone and unattended because the DOG was fucking left behind at his fucking ski chalet in the Rockies– refuses to either install a bike rack in our building, thus leaving me to pin my bike somehow against a lamppost on 42 Street, vulnerable to the predations of any tourist or other knucklehead to play with, or to allow us to bring our bikes up to the office, even on the fuckign freight elevator.
But hey! He gives long dollar to the NRDC, right?
And yes, I had a heated argument with him about all this.
Actor –
THE short-fingered vulgarian?
N__B
Tee hee. Truly. For years I drove a Chevy S10 with the big 4.3L V6, and I got so used to correcting for fishtailing I didn’t notice it. Unsuspecting passengers would freak and I would sincerely wonder why.
Had it flip around on me on a local interstate (the Wilbur D. Mills freeway) during a rainstorm. I steered it backwards onto the shoulder, getting a mild thunk to the back bumper as it hit the concrete lane divider wall but otherwise unscathed. I will always remember the *huge* eyes of the folks behind as I went backwards down the superslab at 70 mph.
Don’t get me started on bike racks.
Actor –
THE short-fingered vulgarian?
Sounds bad, doesn’t it?
Converting that old Pong console into an internet server probably seemed like a good idea at the time.
That wouldn’t explain it. I think they used an old pinball machine.
There’s only one “THE” short-fingered vulgarian, and I think we all know who that is.
There really needs to be a Wingnut Pride parade … after all, it’s how they roll already.
The same Holy Spi(ri)t that whelped the Red State Strike Force is blazing across the fruited plains like a psoriasis outbreak – behold!
This is the new Gooper revolution in action!
“short fingered?”
brachydactyly is a condition that runs in my inbred hillbilly southern fambly.
There’s only one “THE” short-fingered vulgarian, and I think we all know who that is.
On the top shelf in the closet, beyond my wife’s unaided reach, is a collection of pretty much all of the MADs from 1968 to 1976 and a collection of every Spy from issue 1 to 1992.
Humor, thy name is OCD.
Last night I wrote a brilliantly satiric comment about the importance of color coordinating one’s riding togs. WordPress eated it, apparently, though I could have sworn I saw it posted.
FYWP and the hamsters you rode in on!
I was just in the process of braving the ongoing hamster work action (or perhaps it was a sunspot strike on the hamster farm?) in order to link that teabag post.
Tags: St00pit. Dumbass. Wingnutz.
Look, I hate to sound like I’m defending someone from The Corner, but the all-new Segway Squat is a terrible product concept–even worse than the original Segway, if such a thing were possible. It’s too fast for pedestrian areas, probably too unsafe for streets, and competing not with small cars, but with legs, bicycles and mopeds. How’s the price-piont look compared to a bicycle?
Predictably, when the press challenged Kamen about the Squat being unsuitable for roads or sidewalks, he said that cities would be eager to create brand new Segway-only lanes all over the place. Just like they did last time.
GM keeps trying to convince us that they give a damn and have a vision for post-gasoline transportation. Anyone remember the EV-1? The first time is tragedy, the second time is farce.
I think DN Nation had the right response: these did not sink GM, and that’s not the point anyway.
They look like a silly product to me, but they’re pretty irrelevant to GM’s current troubles.
Steyn’s theory is truly incredibly stupid; I give you the Renault Espace, the world’s first purpose-designed passenger minivan, invented at the old Rootes/Chrysler UK in 1978, eventually went into mass production at Renault in 1984, never been out of mass production since. Peugeot-Citroen and Fiat have had a shared platform MPV since 1994; Ford of Europe, Volkswagen and SEAT have been making one together since 1995. GM Europe has the Zafira, Renault, PSA, and Ford all have smaller compact MPVs as well.
(All of them run sensible TD engines and front wheel drive, as well.)
THE short-fingered vulgarian?
Worse. We beat that one at a real estate deal.
Craig,
With all due respect, eat it.
It’s a smart product, even if it is niche-y.
You know, a fast, safe powered wheelchair would be nicer than many of the open faced wheelchairs currently on the market. These things are great if you’re just tooling around the mall, but they’re horrible for getting to and from the mall or the grocery store, etc.
The number of people I see using powered chairs to go to the store or work would seem to indicate a market.
LittlePig: That happened a couple times with our 73 Chevy Nova. The brakes were a bit unbalanced – we eventually fixed it, someone had put the wrong fluid in the brakes at some point – and we did a couple 180s or 360s when panic-stopping in heavy traffic.
Nary a scratch on the Nova, but no one in traffic would get near us after seeing that.
A fast,
safepowered bar stool has a market, as well.Anyone else see how BO had to drag a teleprompter wherever he went in Europe? Lol. Even brought it to press conferences and town halls!
It’s funny how liberals talk so much shit about what a bad speaker Bush was, but he never had to bring teleprompters to town halls and press conferences! IF the media was even half as hard on Obama as it was on Bush at press conferences Obama would last five seconds.
When he doesn’t have his teleprompter, he’s a moron. “Speak Austrian”, etc. It’s no wonder the “clean and articulate one” (h/t Joe Biden) hasn’t released his SAT scores and education records.
All he is is an empty suit that makes guilty white liberals feel good about themselves.
Segway schmegway.
If the sales of Tatas (LOL) take off in North America, I think GM will become very motivated to get it right (ironically, it was Bush’s “Katrinanomics” policy strategery bitch-slapping the global economy around that convinced Tata to put his cars into foreign markets) … but they sure are showing up very late to the dance.
A durable bare-bones commuter cage with a scrawny two-grand sticker price will work them over like helpless cud.
Is it nearly time to start thinking about planning for, at some point in the future, the possibility of, y’know, considering starting a NEW THREAD?!
Actor 212,
How could I resist a thoughtful, well-reasoned reply like “eat it?” So I followed your link, and let me reply: rubbish. Just nonsense.
$10,000 is “a third the cost of a car”–give me a break. I’m shopping for a car right now. The infinitely more capable Toyota Yaris can be had for $12,000 MSRP. And, again–the Segway Squat is NOT a car. It’s a two-wheeled golf cart. It’s competition is legs, bicycles, mopeds and other golf carts.
“Ideal for college campuses?” Yeah, just like the Segway PT. The ideal modes of transportation for college campuses are walking, cycling, and the occasional shuttle bus–which is why that’s how we get around on campuses right now.
I will give you the meter maid application, though. There’s a game-changer.
On the one hand, I have difficulty imagining a vehicle with a ridiculous and somewhat suggestive moniker like the “Tata” would be successful.
On the other hand.
Also, PENIS.
FYWP! FY FY FY FY FY FY FY
Bad enough that I have to plan my refreshes five minutes in advance but then you eat my PENIS comment?!!?!?
FY FY FY FY FY FY FY FY FY
Yuval Levin in a material world
Also, PENIS. Damnit.
I can only say this about transmissions: you can keep your sticks. I’m an absent-minded driver with a tendency to try to shift telepathically (for some reason that never works) and I don’t want to have to deal with silly bookkeeping issues while I’m trying to get down the road. Slushboxen do all the bookkeeping for you. Not everyone is a performance snob.
OK. Fine. You MADE me do this.
And this.
The infinitely more capable Toyota Yaris can be had for $12,000 MSRP
“Car” in the American sense, Craig. Meaning a near $30,000 sedan or SUV. You know, a real car that doesn’t have a hampster for a drive train?
So yea, a third.
And if you had read the piece carefully, which clearly was beneath you, the apt comparison is to a scooter, which means it has a significant market to exploit for people who want a scooter but don’t want to ride in-line wheels.
Look, just because YOU don’t want to buy it doesn’t make it a bad idea. No one’s holding a gun to your head and threatening you AND it’s also a large step in the right direction for what we need to be looking at to wean us off foreign oil.
Gee, I’m sorry that inconveniences you, and sorry for your damned luck…
The top-selling cars in America can almost all be had for under $30000 sticker price – sometimes well under – and who pays sticker price anyway?
“‘Car’ in the American sense, Craig. Meaning a near $30,000 sedan or SUV. You know, a real car that doesn’t have a hampster for a drive train?”
Yeah, because America is full of people saying, “I just can’t decide. Heads, I’ll buy a Vespa. Tails, a Ford Explorer.” Talk about careful reading–my _point_ was that you have to compare the Segway/GM thingy to things that it is actually comparable to. And a 30,000 dollar car is an absolutely insane comparison.
I am sorry that I use the word “moped” pretty casually to refer to two-wheel, in-line, sub-motorcycle vehicles. But I think you’d be able to follow me, at least to the point of not getting all “the apt comparison is to a _scooter_,” like the thought had never occurred to me. That’s why I mentioned mopeds, bikes and golf carts in my earlier comments. A comparison to a 30,000 dollar car is not apt, and might lead you to conclude that GM and Kamen have some kind of viable concept here, instead of an overpriced toy that will sell five units if Steve Wozniak buys four of them. The world is full of people who want a two wheeled scooter, but can’t stand the idea of one wheel being in front of the other? OK.
And I don’t remember saying word one about _my_ preferences. I kind of have a soft spot for overpriced toys.
“Car” in the American sense
I guess it depends on your budget. For me, “car” means 1999 Volkwagen Passat with a dinged right rear fender.
For everything. I have a few bicycles that vary from ‘go fast’ to ‘look cool’ and an xtracycle.
I have a courier pickup that I use for hauling and long distance. Last turned it over in January. When it finally betrays me, I’m going to switch over to Zip Car.
Craig has a point; these sort of microvehicle things are no solution, because they compete with public transport rather than with cars. Much better to get a good small car, and walk or use public transport in town, than get one of these for town and still need a car.
A comparison to a 30,000 dollar car is not apt
Which is not one I made, except to point out the price points. You’re the one who extended my analysis to something it clearly did not apply to, and then took umbrage at how I wanted to substitute the PUMA for a car!
Please, Craig. I speak and write English, not Engrish.
Satire megafail
USA! USA!
It’s the unblemished record of American success over the past decade that lets JJ lord it over other countries.
They need to learn to make those Hummers lighter, using space-age polymers. It doesn’t matter if they can haul or pull or go off-road, and it shouldn’t matter if they can survive a crash either. Image is all that matters with the new, modern, Faux Utility Vehicles — Futility Hicks for short.