P.S. I Love Yoo*

Shorter Ed Whelan:


Look Who’s Politicizing Justice Now

  • The decisions by Eric Holder’s employees in the Office of Legal Counsel are infallible and correct statements of the law that even the United States Supreme Court cannot overturn. Because of that it is wrong for Holder to seek any other legal advice contrary to that already given by the OLC. I know that the OLC is infallible because I used to work there, and no Attorney General should ever be allowed to question anything I ever said about the law. That’s why I was a staff attorney and the Attorney General was really just a clerical employee working for me whose only actual job was to report faithfully my pronouncements on the law.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*John Yoo worked for the Office of Legal Counsel and penned the OLC memo that said that there was no such thing as illegal torture, except, perhaps, boiling someone in oil might, in certain limited circumstances (say, boiling a child in oil for more than thirty minutes), be considered as an illegal form of torture.


Comments: 22


He instead asked merely whether his own position that the bill is constitutional was so beyond the pale, so beneath the low level of plausible lawyers’ arguments, so legally frivolous, that …

Yeah. Right. That’s what he did.


I stopped donating to my alma mater Berkeley once I learned about Yoo’s professorship. Talk about disgusting. The guy should be in The Hague in chains, not teaching law at a university I once felt proud of.

How can one watch Yoo claim that the president can legally crush a child’s testicles and still send money which might be used to pay his paycheck?


Legal frivolity now, many victims of it having a sad later.


If you can’t dazzle them with Crazy Frog ringtones, bury them with blart.

Stag Party Palin

Boy, the agony from Squealin’ Ed Whelan almost make you think that as a fellow traveller with John “Who Expected” Yoo he might just have something to hide. His logic is sure tortuous enough to give a real lawyer a migraine.


Of course, Ashcroft never did anything like what Holder has done.

Nah. He wiped his ass with the Constitution, but he never went against his subordinates’ advice to do so.

Then again, when did he ever have to?


OT, but here’s a story that everyone but Mickey Kaus will love.


OT, but here’s a story that everyone but Mickey Kaus will love.

Hee hee! If there’s ever a match between the original Terminator and an Australian Cattle Dog, bet on the ACD. You can’t kill the ugly little buggers with a neutron cannon… and believe me, it’s been tried.

And, appropriate an homage as her name might be, I’d still bet a store-bought cookie that it’s a back-formation because the only word the puppy reliably responded to was “Tucker!” — as in, “Food’s up!”


Ed Whelan thinks people are st00pid™.

The office is, after all, exercising the advisory function the attorney general has delegated to it. But there’s a right way to overrule OLC, and then there’s Holder’s way.

Or perhaps he thinks we can’t read? That we can’t recognize the abuttment of two contradictory statements?

Ahh, thank you. So he’s just fucking evil. I keep forgetting my de La Rochefoucauld.


Waterboarding is all fun and games until someone gets an eye put out by a lawyer’s elbow.


An enabler of John Yoo and the torture memos is criticizing the Obama justice department. I’m gonna need some recipes and few Dusty Springfield links before the Trolls get here.


And, appropriate an homage as her name might be
I’ve met a few blue-heelers and they’re noisy little tuckers.


You know you’ve got a winner of an argument when you resort to a redoubtably stupid hypothetical like this douche.

“Imagine if in 2001, Bush declared everyone much watch Billy Ray Cyrus in Doc or be put in prison for 300 years…”

Shut up, wingnuts. God, shut up.


My favorite part comes at the end, in the little bio blurb.

Ed Whalen … served as principal deputy in OLC from 2001 to 2004. His portfolio did not include national security matters.

It wasn’t me! I wasn’t one of Cheney’s operatives in the OLC, I swear!


Why is Teh Sadlee still so slooooooooooow? </whine>


Fred Hiatt should be fired for publishing crap like Ed Whelan.



The Cat said,

April 7, 2009 at 1:50

Why is Teh Sadlee still so slooooooooooow?

ummm…. zombie. Foot fell into the transfer gear. Hella mess.



How long after Ed Whelan’s death was that photo taken?


If Holder’s OLC is of the opinion that Yoo, Gonzalez, Cheney, et al. have all committed war crimes, then they should go directly to a prison in the Hague. The OLC being infallible and all. Is that what Ed Whelen is saying? What say you Fred Hiatt?


Proof that Yoo, Gonzales, Cheney, and gang are certifiable sociopaths who must be institutionalized for everyone’s protection and to make their positions less attractive to other lunatics waiting in the wings.


Of course Ashcroft didn’t override the OLC opinion that torture is OK. He should have but he didn’t. Thanks, Whelan, for confirming my suspicion that Ashcroft was an evil hack.


Who does Fred think his audience is? The fool must believe that his audience is in the bin with him.


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