Shorter Daniel Pipes
Posted on April 1st, 2009 by HTML Mencken
Above: Crack Pipes & crackpot
- No kidding, it turns out that approximately twenty percent of Palestinians are nearly human beings. Now if we could only somehow transform another, say, forty percent from cockroaches to higher primates, Israel could more easily claim an internal mandate to go on stealing land, like, forever. Divide and conquer, baby!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
His commentors seem to have a somewhat more
hawkishbloodthirsty view of things.Why do I click the links, and having clicked & read them, look at the godamned comments . . .
you’ll learn, candy
Cockroaches seem to be in the news a lot lately. Some subtle connection between them and republicans but I’m not really sure why. It’s such an ugly slur though they’ll get over it. The cockroaches that is.
TWO Chupacabras!
Caught on film, at last!
The one on the right is showing it’s fangs and displaying it’s post-coital thumb. Part of their mating behavior I believe. I think the female eats the male’s head next and then spits out his fur in a ball.
I never before clicked thru to crackPipes’ place before. The first thing I noticed just now when I did just that thing, was the photo he’s got perched at the top of the page. Whaaaat? It’s a: at least 20 years out of date and b: undergone some …shall we say retouching?
Makes me want to hack the place just to replace the photo.
TWO Chupacabras!
Caught on film, at last!
Alert Josh St. Lawrence immediately!
Actually, I think it’s one chupacabra and one bigfoot.
Hey libs, ready to lose tonight in NY-20?
The Great Republican Comeback of 2009-2012 starts tonight. You can take that one to the BANK, baby!
Three Chupacabras!
The third one isn’t a chupacabra. It’s just a sucker.
Three Chupacabras!
Ah-ah-ah!
See?
You could just set the system to disemvowel any comment that contained the string “libs” and 98% of the problem would be solved.
In the meantime, killfile…
mikey
I can’t wait until the polls close!
It’s going to be a big REPUBLICAN VICTORY, count on it!
At any rate, I call parody troll.
I call 1-800-Trollme.
You guys really have the moral high ground on this one. It’s totally only the Republican politicians whom the Israeli lobby has by the short and curlys. There’s nothing more thrilling than watching all the prominent establishment Democrats line up to roundly condemn Israeli atrocities against Palestinians!
Oh, I don’t know. I for one enjoyed the Fred versus Fred brawl from earlier.
It kinda reminded me of this:
I for one enjoyed the Fred versus Fred brawl from earlier.
That was amusing…ish. Pity there isn’t a way to only killfile the non-funny one.
At least, not from the reader’s end. The Sadlies might be able to do something.
white knight said,
There’s nothing more thrilling than watching all the prominent establishment Democrats line up to roundly condemn Israeli atrocities against Palestinians!
Unless you are going to stake a position with the dirty fucking hippies whose blog you troll, what’s your point?
Here’s some suggestions for you:
1)”I suck right-wing cock, because the democrats who are most like republicans are bad, too!”
2)”I can’t defend anything I say, but I was brought up to hate people who aren’t white racists.”
3)”Blart-blart-blart!”
4) “KU CLUCKS CLAN 4EVUH, BEACHES!!11one!”
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©, way to play the race card!
Typical liberal. We don’t hate Obama because he’s black. We hate him because he’s WRONG.
I’d vote for Thomas Sowell or Clarence Thomas for President tomorrow if I could, and they’re blacker than Obama!
I’m ready for the election in NY-20 to be over, but that’s just because I have a low tolerance for political ads on mah teevee.
The last poll had the Dem, Murphy, ahead.
In the end (heh), the result doesn’t matter. One vote in the House either way is going to affect pretty much nothing.
Whatever, parody troll.
I think you should be disemvoweled for being boring and stupid, even* before all your other crimes.
*especially
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©–
Remember 2004? When your dreams of a Democrat President were Swiftboated down the Mekong? 🙂
You could just set the system to disemvowel any comment that contained the string “libs”
I’ve been noticing the word “parasites” a lot lately. That would be another candidate for automatic disemvoweling.
TEDISCO LEADS!
53-47.
With a STRONG LEAD in Saratoga County!!! OH YEAH!!!
The REPUBLICAN COMEBACK BEGINS!
Parody troll is angry.
I’m sorry your butt hurts, d00d.
But you’re boring. Don’t go away mad.
To Truthie:
Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people
Hey now, hey now, let’s not begrudge the wingnutty and the trolls their glee over being ahead in a minor election in a strong republican stronghold district.
They can’t even be competitive anywhere else. As liberals, we should support esteem building efforts for everyone.
even if they feel vulnerable enough to pre-emptively file court challenges to the election results, just to forestall yet another electoral loss…
“Republican Stronghold?” Obama won that district. It should favor YOU!
A Republican victory would indicate that, for the voters of NY-20, Obama wasn’t the “change” they voted for.
”
Hey now, hey now, let’s not begrudge the wingnutty and the trolls their glee over being ahead in a minor election in a strong republican stronghold district. ”
Republican district? LOL! No.
Obama won it.
Uh-oh, Daily Kos reporting,
MURPHY – 33,495 50%
TEDISCO- 33,281 50%
280 of 610 reporting.
In fact, this district should favor YOU!
If Tedisco wins in a district in a northeast liberal Democrat state that voted for Obama, it would indicate that the way that Obama has conducted his policy wasn’t the”change they could believe in”.
Also, in Dutchess Co., GOP attys obtained an order asking for all paper ballots to be impounded. Looks like someone’s digging in for the long-haul.
Also, the GOP hates judicial activists, and trial lawyers.
And free elections.
Also.
And Obama EVEN WON THAT DISTRICT!
If Tedisco wins tonight, it will be strong evidence that the 2008 election wasn’t a party shift, but just a mere personality and media-driven BLIP. And that this is STILL a center-right nation!
umm, yeah. A district with a +70,000 Republican registration advantage.
Republicans should be abashed that it’s even in play.
The fact is that Tedisco has won this election. And in a solid blue district.
Democrat election woes since 11/4
Georgia
Louisiana 2nd
Louisiana 4th
Delaware state senate seat (that was solid blue)
Maine state house seat
Narrow win in a 75/25 Obama district in Northern VA
Tedisco has won. End of story.
Obama won mainly because the media refused to report stories of his campaign’s links to criminal groups like ACORN
Republican district? LOL! No.
Obama won it.
Obama won quite a few conservative districts. That Palin thing scared the hell out of all but the most batcrack crazy Republicans.
Hey, speaking of Republican electoral politics, I hear John McCain has come out and said he won’t support Palin should she make a run for anything further up the line than dog catcher. Don’t you think that’s funny, Mr. Insider? I sure do!
Spin spin spin. Spin those wheels, libs!
You just LOST in a northeastern state, in a district that Obama won!
haha! Losers.
Looks like the stimulus has failed to pay political dividends!
Where’s your Obamamessiah now? HMMM?
This is shamefully weak bait, and shame upon those who would take it.
A hat trick of sadness! Yee-haw!
Nom de Plume said,
April 1, 2009 at 3:50
This is shamefully weak bait, and shame upon those who would take it.
===========================================
I think it should be banned for being shamefully weak spam, but I’m wanna them free-market hating commies, so there you go.
Not! Enough! Exclamation! Points! OR CAPS! LOL! haha!
SUCK IT LIBTARDS, THIS IS HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SOOOO BIT IT THIS TIME!!! THE PRESIDENTAL ELECTION MEANT SHIT, THIS CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT REPRESENTS YOUR ULTIMATE FAILURE AND DEMISE!!!!!!!! WOOOOO-HOOOO!! 2012, HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!! IT’S OVER, BOOKMARK IT!!!!!!!!
you’ll learn, candy
Damned near three years hanging around Sadly,No! and apparently I ain’t learned nuthin’ yet.
Well, that’s not totally true. I usually do avoid clicking the links, but every now and then I just get that itch, know what I mean? And I click.
TEDISCO WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS MOTHER FUCKERS!
I am projecting TEDISCO as the WINNER of NY-20 AT 9:59 EDT.
Suck it libs, suck it hard!
Palin/Tedisco 2012!
Uh-oh, another Kos update:
Scott Murphy (D) 50% (62147)
Jim Tedisco (R) 50% (63197)
Damn, that’s a conservative landslide/mandate if I ever saw one.
Tedisco/Tedisco 2012!
Daily Kostic? LOL!
Tedisco is up 1112 with 105 precincts out. The majority of those precincts are in counties that Tedisco has won.
Tedisco has won this one.
Nom, you are perfectly right and I apologize.
Killfile has taken the temptation from my screen.
All we need now is a “bookmark this, libs” and we’re set.
laym said,
April 1, 2009 at 3:54
Palin/Tedisco 2012!
Jindal/Romney 2012
Conservative Insider said,….
(sniff sniff)
Oh no – I thought I smelled an overwhelming gust of hideotestinal poopgas…
wow, maybe the repubs will win in lower bumfuck next! be still my beating heart. thanks for derailing the thread moron.
Where’s your messiah NOW libs, Hmm?
The Porkulus has failed.
I notice the MSM is already keeping these results hush-hush.
Tedisco, Tedisco duck
Try your luck braindead dumbfuck
Tedisco, disco, tedisco, disco
Tedisco duck.
Now Disco Duck will go through my head all night. An apt punishment for engaging the troll. All apologies.
I got a big ass victory tonight!!
I got a big ass!!
I got a big ass!!
That was too easy. I laughed anyway.
well, considering the Repubs lost every non-incumbent seat in the last election, I guess NY-20 may be the best they got.
Next up: Republican wins in Texas. Rain falls down, sun rises in east. And not a bit of difference in governance occurs because of any of them.
Party down, wingnuts! Go meet RiM at the Bloodclot, and leave us alone.
And it cost them nearly a million dollars to take what should have been a safe seat. Rock on, Michael Steele!
Really? This was important enough that Real Gary showed up?
Damn. Hitch your wagons on this one, wingnuts.
Trolls are boring, part gazillion in a series.
Gad, has this shit gotten stupid or what?
Taunting? Really?
Nanny nanny nanny goat.
Christ.
I remember when there were SMART people here…
mikey
POOP! there it is.
Brown streaks in underoos mean nothing, as long as no one checks.
*Points at mikey*
My memory ain’t what is usedtabe.
Must be all the Jaegermeister!
*note: boobies not censored on this link.
I had the opportunity a few years ago to live and work in Israel. I was working on a movie. This had nothing to do with religion, of which I have little if any. Here are a couple of things that I learned:
I dealt with Palestinians, Israeli Arabs and Bedouins. We worked in Israel itself and the West Bank, and I spent some time in the Palestinian Authority territory. I am happy to report that they were, without exception, normal human beings with normal interests and aspirations in life. Obviously, there are some very pissed off Palestinians, but these people represent (in my experience) a much smaller number that you’d think from reading the American press.
On the other hand, the vast majority of Israeli Jews I met were far more open to accepting the wrongs that the Israeli government has perpetrated that Americans are to face up to what we have done in, say, Vietnam or Iraq. Yes, there are orthodox Jews (almost entirely ex-US citizens) who are as malicious in intent as your average Hamas guy, but they are also a small minority.
The American press seems to feel that it is in their interest to grossly exaggerate the amount of hostility on both sides of this conflict. Ever since I spent time there, I have been far more positive about the eventual outcome.
Ruh roh! Where’d all the trolls go?
Oh, wait.
10:30 Eastern.
99% reporting
Murphy 77,208
Teh Disco 77,127
NOOOOOO! Obama is a failure! I should have bookmarked it!!!!
Quick – call ACORN! We need more absentee ballots in NY-20 immediately.
Green Eagle makes an excellent point that I try to hammer on with anyone who wants to demonize an entire group of people. I’ve been doing this ever since the days when it was the Soviets who were supposed to be The Worst People In Teh World. This is what I would say:
People are people. They mostly want the same things out of life: A roof over their heads, clothes and food for their families and themselves, and a chance for their kids to have a decent life. This was true of the people in Northern Ireland, it was true of the Soviet peoples, it’s true of Palestinians and Israelis.
The thing is, things happen that radicalize people. Seeing half your family shot down by the police who are supposed to be there to stop the killing, a majority government imprisoning suspects without granting them the civil rights they’re guaranteed under the law, economic strangleholds that make daily life a desperate struggle, all can make someone hate enough to pick up a gun.
But for the most part, people just want to have a decent life. If the human race would spend more time focusing on this simple truth, life on this planet would be much improved. And if the Easter Bunny would leave me a basket of solid gold eggs my life would be improved. Which is more likely . . .
Quick – call ACORN!
LOL!
I think Teh Disco will win by one vote. Then he’ll get up with a maniacal gleam in his eye and say “I’ve got political capital, and I’m going to spend it!”
But for the most part, people just want to have a decent life.
Agreed. It’s only a tiny minority that want there to be trouble.
Unfortunately, they tend to be in charge.
I think Teh Disco will win by one vote. Then he’ll get up with a maniacal gleam in his eye and say “I’ve got political capital, and I’m going to spend it!”
And then he will declare war on Queens and Kings.
And there will be no peace until Root Boy Slim declares it.
~
Unfortunately, they tend to be in charge.
Yes.
I’m thinking if we could figure out why this is true, a lot of broken systems could be fixed.
This should go in a previous thread but the Ho just mentioned seeing it and I can’t let it go by. It’s *that* precious.
From the PBS Gets Oliver’s knickers in a Twist thread, commenter “Lindamae” sez:
Commenter “LawHawkSF” piles on:
I can add nothing. Just…nothing.
Murphy finishes the precinct count ahead by 65 votes. Now it’s up to the absentees. Bookmark this, cons!
Seriously, it’s hard to see anything but a Tedisco blowout as a butt-whipping for the Republicans. If they can’t get the troops out in a low-turnout special election, which right-wing nutjobs usually manage to do even in solidly blue areas, they’re pretty much doomed.
I suppose I should add for those who haven’t read it or maybe haven’t read it in decades, Fagin is called, many many times, “the Jew” and “the old Jew.”
Murphy’s won, by 65 votes. Now they count 10,000 or so absentee votes.
Hey! Where’d Conservative Dickhead go?
From here, great news for John McCain:
Precincts 610/610
Scott Murphy (Dem) 77,344 50%
James Tedisco (GOP) 77,279 50%
D’oh!
Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge!! (shakes fist)
Oops, pardon my echoing.
I’ve been doing this ever since the days when it was the Soviets who were supposed to be The Worst People In Teh World.
That’s the first rule of propaganda and warfare. Demonize your enemy. That makes it much easier to kill them.
Then it’s not like you’re killing human beings with mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters. You’re just killing “Gooks” or “Ragheads” or whoever the bad guy of the week happens to be.
This should go in a previous thread but the Ho just mentioned seeing it and I can’t let it go by. It’s *that* precious.
That is pretty astounding.
Some years ago a theater company in Salt Lake City did a version of Romeo and Juliet in which Juliet was played by a black woman – and boy, did that have the throwbacks up in arms. “This is totally not what Shakespeare intended!” they blustered on the LTTE page.
I thought the best thing the theater company could have done would be to stage it the way they did in the old days, with Juliet played by a boy.
Now, now, Matron Dynamite of Appreciative Joy, we Unitarian Jihadis mustn’t turn on each other.
“Go forth and tolerate.”
That is so, so choice.
Sincerely,
Brother Crimson Fire of Lovingkindness
Pam has semen on her chin.
Brother Crimson Fire of Lovingkindness is absurd. I say “To pish posh with your Unitarian Jihad!!”!!
Unless I get to drive a Jeep with a machine gun on the back.
Because I got called Brother Crimson fire etc not the the artist formerly known as Xecky is absurd
“To pish posh with your Unitarian Jihad!!”!!
Them’s polite-discussion-of-our-disagreement-over-cookies-and-punch words!
– oh, and no worries. I am absurd by any name.
What sort of cookies and punch?
Huh. CNN has the NY-20 news prominently on their landing page.
APRIL FOOL!
Srsly, I don’t see it anywhere at cnn.com.
What sort of cookies and punch?
Oh, dear – diplomacy is so complicated.
Would you settle for a Subaru Legacy with a pony keg in the back?
In the old days, seriously, my drinking car was a VW 412 wagon with a pony keg in the trunk. If you get stopped by a really dumb cop (and is there any other kind?) he’d never look in the trunk, or even realize it had one.
Hash laced peanut butter and choco chip for me please. And Planter’s punch would be nice.
I thought I was the only one who thought that, you pervert!
Subaru sounds good, but it must have the big cup holders.
Hash cookies and Planters punch can hardly lead to worse decisions than our high functioning leaders have been making.
Pam has semen on her chin.
It puts the semen on its chin or else it gets the hose again.
“To pish posh with your Unitarian Jihad!!”
Pish, Posh, said Hieronymous Bosch.
Pish, Posh, said Hieronymous Bosch.
As he ate another hamantash.
Hmmm. I seem to have eaten all of the enhanced PB&CC cookies. I do have, however, beer, fresh cut limes and salsa en polvo if you’d like, and I’ll be happy to pass the dutchie on whichever side most suits you.
As he ate another hamantash.
Upon which sav’ries he did nosh
At the Purim festival, by gosh.
Pish, Posh, said Hieronymous Bosch.
Linkee.
Pam has semen on her chin.
And the sun rises in the east, and cows go “moo.”
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
its like a pale echo of november
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point. This is central to my point.
Grrrzzzaaaaptttt….this is cen…grraaaaeeeegggffffzztttt…this…..gbbbaaaazztttantagggsss……
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do….
Pish, Posh, said Hieronymous Bosch.
As he ate another hamantash.
Upon which sav’ries he did nosh
At the Purim festival, by gosh.
So can you work Lavosh crackers in there somewhere?
So that’s how elections go these days – decisive win by Democrats, or court battles led by butthurt Republicans.
I can feel it …
I can feel it …
I can feel it …
I’m afraid.
Con Insider – just remember the good old days, that’ll make you feel better. Like back when you said this:
I can’t wait until the polls close!
It’s going to be a big REPUBLICAN VICTORY, count on it!
Preemptive lawsuits before the polls open by butthurt Republicans
Preemptive lawsuits before the polls open by butthurt Republicans
This is the model of democracy they were hoping to bomb Iraq into, I believe.
I’m so excited! I’m so excited!! I’m so … so … scared….
That picture is – ulp – fascinating.
It looks like the paint-chips & ether just kicked in. Who would trust EITHER of these people to babysit a dead rat, let alone inform them about national & international politics?
How big do you think their audience is? 20? 200? Yet they look like they just won the Nobel Prize … man, sometimes I sort of envy the delusional. It only rains when you tell it to if you’re living in Psycho Town.
I want everybody to try to imagine what the Republicans would have had to say if Al Gore had petitioned the Supreme Court before the 2000 election to throw out the results if they didn’t go his way.
BREAKING: DEMOCRATIC VICTORY IN NY! MURPHY WINS IN REPUBLICAN DISTRICT BY 65 VOTES!
Damn that means the regional Southern Party, I mean the Republicans, still have zero reps in the NE right? HA HA!
imagine what the Republicans would have had to say if Al Gore had petitioned the Supreme Court before the 2000 election to throw out the results if they didn’t go his way.
“Pshaw! Impostor. He’s acting just like a Republican!”
Too spifflicated and tired to do it myself. Someone please make it go
Pish posh …
something whatever
Peter Tosh
Aslo, find and link an appropriate ganja and rum vid.
Um.
Kings is Brooklyn, inn’t it?
Just saying.
You’re right, Thunder. It’s impossible for me to agree on certain foreign policy issues with some liberals regarding our blind, self-destructive support for Israeli extremists. Because, by God, once you choose a side (omgConservative or omgLiberal) no point of agreement is possible. That’s what Obama keeps saying too, right? He was elected on a promise of hyperpartisanship?
Dude, Jesus, dude. A victim of the Us v Them years indeed.
Journey said: Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
Watcha talkin about, south Detroit? You mean Windsor, Ontario? Cause there IS no south Detroit. Stupid lyricists.
There’s really not much Detroit at all, any more, but that’s another matter.