But, by “server,” do you really mean the THC-basted pecan kernel in your head?

Charles of LGF is not only helping to fight off attacks by tides of crazed Muslims, but also by Chinese robots and zombies!

Robots All Over the Place

Behind the scenes, there is a pretty amazing swarm of robots hitting our Most Recent Referrers page tonight, using zombie servers (servers infected with a previous virus that leaves a back door open) with a range of proxy IP addresses, many in China, to try to plant URLs among our referrers that link to the usual dreary list of illicit pharmaceutical products. This kind of idiot spamming is a constant annoyance, but tonight?s robot swarm is extraordinary for its sheer volume.
08:53 PM PDT | link: 522 comments | link only

Another exciting day over at Little Green Footballs.

See, and people say the Internet is getting boring. We’re actually fighting off pirate ninja squid-monster attacks ALL THE TIME around here. (Tonight?s pirate ninja squid-monster swarm was extraordinary for its sheer volume.)

Note to Charles: If ‘zombies’ and ‘robots’ are trying to get on the server, it’s probably not a real attack, but merely LGF’s everyday readership flowing in. Also expect a bunch of howler monkeys, skunks, retards, and (yes) Nazis. And we should really have a talk later about ‘illicit pharmaceutical products’: If the usual drugs are seeming dreary, it’s probably time to start cutting back.

(Hanx to 3Bulls.)

[Update: Yes, I know zombie attacks are real. But the notion of Charles attacked by robots and zombies is just too classic.]


Comments: 20


What would the resultant offspring look like were Chaz to insert his Johnson into Ann’s Coulter? Inquiring geisha sea-monsters want to know!


“(Tonight?s pirate ninja squid-monster swarm was extraordinary for its sheer volume.)”

Yeah, I hate it when they won’t turn down their stereos!


Nothing beats zombies and robots. Especially those of the Asian persuasion. Why didn’t you include Voltron?


Oh, shit, I hope Happy Temple doesn’t screw up his Lo Mein next time, then it’s Lizardoid hit squad. Seriously he has one of these every week! Who gives a crap???

I didn’t have the guts to read the “oh Chaz, let me stroke you, I’m so sorry about your wittle server. Wet mommy make boo-boo go bye bye” comments. In the hundred.


Gavman- how about this for the ball thingy. Nothing say no, like a No symbol!


Oh I had to:

#2 barbara skolaut 10/11/2005 08:57PM PDT

I don’t know how you manage to handle this site, but I’m glad you’re willing to find the time to do it, Charles.

You. Are. A. God. ;-p


The KOS JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

#10 fox1 10/11/2005 09:03PM PDT

Just gotta say this, Screw Em.#10

#39 NTropy 10/11/2005 09:53PM PDT

Guess we discovered Kos’ way of engineering 500,000 daily hits or whatever his current total is. Heck, that site is a virus run by a worm that wasn’t stopped by a Trojan? (horse) all by itself.

and some more!

#62 Carridine 10/12/2005 12:51AM PDT

Charles, I have a consultant friend who did some work for Sony America this year, and he was told quietly but directly that ChiComm hackers have stolen no less than FIVE complete movies from Sony, online…

We gotta develop tools, good capable tools, and quickly, Sir!

The ChiComm hackers are a part of a formal-but-undeclared WAR EFFORT against America.


I guess you guys know that zombie swarms attack any server that sees decent traffic.

Let me be the first to offer my sincere condolences to the LGF crowd. It couldn’t have happened to a more juvenile group of reactionary jerkwads.


LGF’s server security is shitty enough to ph33r the ChiComm menace? We must shut down teh Intarwebs now!

Cracking (not hacking) sucks big time, but if this gives Chazmo nightmares from seeing an ep of the Gundam series, I ♥ the Chinese.


I can’t wait for GregH to get back. Nobody else is on west coast time, and I am just commenting with myself. And fricking Ukko. Forever sleep that one.


We owe the chicomms so much money right now, they don’t need robot attacks for the war LGF thinks we’re fighting with them. And I bet all of them ignorant fucks shop at Wal Mart


why would Chinese Communist hackers be stealing complete movies from Sony, online?

I know it’s no “chinese robot zombies”, but for real? that makes no sense.


I had one of those viruses that left my back door open once. Kaopectate worked pretty well.


I’d compare Chinese movie-stealing hackers to drunken sailors but that would be an affront to

I can’t do it. This conservative humor…is it supposed to burn your soul like this? Is that how I know it’s working?


yeah, that is the caustic sarcasm of adulthood, GoatBoy.


WARNING: Those who deny the existence of Chinese Robot Zombies may be Chinese Robot Zombies themselves.


Hey! That’s an insult to Chinese Robot … oh, bother. That joke’s been done to death, hasn’t it? I mean, even I’ve made it, many, many times before.

Damn this THC-basted pecan kernel in my head!

And furthermore, damn this THC-basted pecan … oh, bother. It’s happening again, isn’t it?


Can chinese robot zombie hackers not see their reflections in bloody morrors? Or were they the ones afraid of kyptonite crosses?


Charles “Squeaky” Johnson posts the same “we’re being attacked” story about once a month. The entire purpose is to brag about what an amazing technical wizard he is.



Is his ‘robot pillory’ still avaliable for all to see?


If a chinese robot zombie steals a movie from Sony in the woods, does it play with sound?


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