A random bunch of nothing!
Because a single long post about something would be too hard. First, this:
Every day people write to us and say: “Sadly, your blog is totally popular and has all the hot chicks from the internets chasing you. Rumors of some pretty explicit tapes of Gavin and Marie Jon’ are legendary. How do you do it? What is, to be blunt, your “ketchup secret?”” Needless to say, it is our world famos sense of humour. Who else can fake write Doug Giles metaphors? Those are hard! Hard work.
But today your chance has come. Can you provide a punch line that was better than the original would-be great metaphor, alleged bon mot, attempted witticism? Can you outwit…. The Ole Perfesser? Let’s see:
Glenn H. Reynolds writes:
What did Glenn write? What would you write?
Next up, Jennifer Roback Morse writes:
My Ph.D. is in economics. So I do know something about how to interpret data.
A few paragraphs later, having written about her own adopted three children and seven foster kids, Jennifer shows the above was, obviously, a joke:
So although I have only seen a small sample of children ?up close and personal,? it is probably a larger sample, and more statistically meaningful sample than most families get to see.
Another proud graduate of the Trying to Grok School of Statistics and Other Things I Don’t Understand That Make President Bush Look Bad So I Don’t Like Them.
Meanwhile, Susanne Fields writes:
By scapegoating certain groups and patronizing others, identity politics sacrifices the individual on the altar of groupthink.
Dennis Prager shows how it’s done:
Many on the Left regard the term “national security” as essentially a right-wing cover for conservatism, which they equate with a form of fascism. That explains the Left’s contempt for the Patriot Act, and it helps explain the decision of U.S. District Judge Alvin K. Hellerstein. That Americans will be killed as a result of a judge’s decision to release photos is of no consequence to the Left.
And finally, Chuck “Koko” Colson asks:
A study of the chimpanzee genome reveals that chimps and humans have 98 percent of our DNA in common. Is that evidence of evolution, or something else?
We’re not sure, but we bet the answer is something else? And it is!
Now it?s true that you don?t have to be a Darwinist to see the physical resemblances between chimpanzees and humans.
Well, the members of one group are preoccupied with simple ideas, must communicate using a rudimentary language, constitute the lower rungs of society, throw around their feces when upset, and show a need to conform. The others, well, they’re chimpanzees.
If you need us, we’ll be hanging out at the Bar of Painfully Obvious Jokes That One Can’t Resist Making Anyway.
Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as my balls…no, wait, disco balls, I meant disco balls
If Marie of the Apostrophe wants Gavin so badly, she’ll have to fight me for him.
3 p.m. at the flagpole, bitch!
…the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as my mullet haircut.
…the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as something that is really, really, really dated. Really.
…the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as Tara Reid. Because she has lots of dates. See? Or maybe they’re one-night stands, not so much dates. Hmm… Well, my point stands.
“Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as…”
…the 1870s!
I’m right, aren’t I?
…the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as Ben Shapiro. Because they’re out of date and he’s “out of date(s)” — he doesn’t date much, if at all. Get it? Huh? Do ya?
Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as the Laissez Faire economics of nineteenth century robber barons.
…the best thing to do is to let the market decide.
Best thing for big bidness, he means, of course.
Why risk the nasty Gummint giving the MegaCorps an ouchie with evil CAFE standards, when we can just let nice long gas lines, poor people walking more, and outrageous airline ticket prices solve this thing the easy way?
Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as _________________________.
“Karl Rove’s ass when he’s in prison.”
Oh, never mind–he probably meant the other kind of date.
“… about as dated as” a heavily laden Phoenix dactylifera.
Yeah, I know it sucks, but all the good ones were already taken by all you good-one-already-taking bastitches.
” … about as dated as that monkey in that Lost Ark movie.” ‘Cause he ate those bad dates and died, right?
“… about as dated as”
Paris Hilton after a coke and alcohol binge.
Oh wait!
“… about as dated as”
Ahhhnold reprising his original role as the “Terminator” in Terminator 3.
“… about as dated as”
The UN Oil for Food Scandal
“Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as…”
that Connecticut key party where I wound up going home with Derbyshire.
Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as the diarrhea encrusted underwear I’ve been wearing for the last 2 weeks.
Sadly, your blog is totally popular and has all the hot chicks from the internets chasing you.
Really? I had heard that all of you guys have Real Dolls for girlfriends.
…about as dated as
1. Proportional Fonts
2. Ann Coulter’s wardrobe
3. 18-1/2 minute gaps
dated as… a guy who stuck his head out the window of the time machine he was using to travel forward in time to get rich on the stock market… and stuff.
dated as… a guy who stuck his head out the window of the time machine he was using to travel forward in time to get rich on the stock market… and stuff.
About as dated as site redesigns…