It’s Just One Obamination After Another
The wingnut fauxtrage machine has cranked up into full gear, and it seems that there’s nothing that Obama can do that won’t elicit squeals of outrage from right-wing pundits and their blogger groupies. Oh my God, Obama gave shitty gifts to the Prime Minister of England! It’s Giftgate! Oh my fucking god, he uses a teleprompter!! Promptgate!11! And Michelle, that girl needs to wear some sleeves. Sleevegate!!! Even worse, they’re tearing up the White House Lawn for, of all things, a garden as if the White House were some kind of shack!!!! Watermelongate! And on and on and on.
But the best new example of manufactured outrage over the goings on in the White House comes from Bill and Fred’s Most Excellent House of Hacks, The Weekly Standard. One of their house bloggers, John McCormack, scraped up this calomnie du jour:
The White House has been non-responsive to inquiries as to whether the Situation Room–previously reserved for national security-related meetings–is now being used for political get togethers. Now we learn in today’s Washington Post that Rahm Emanuel called a group of veterans’ group leaders together to discuss a budget controversy “in the Situation Room,” with “Emmanuel seated in the President’s chair.” The article notes that the vets made a political pitch to Rahm–“We said ‘look, don’t give Republicans an opportunity to slam you.'”
So it seems that the Obama White House is using the Situation Room for meetings in a way no previous administration did. Such a meeting would have been held either in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, or maybe in the Roosevelt Room in the West Wing (which is where the article says Obama himself met with the veterans 48 hours earlier)–but never in the Situation Room.
OMFG, the Chief of Staff in The Situation Room!!eleventyone!! What’s next? Dogs in the kitchen? Obama’s mother-in-law using one of the bathrooms? Why George W. Bush would never let the Chief of Staff use the Most Holy, Sacred and Precious Situation Room. He had standards.
Well, not so much. Lookie here at what the Great Gazoogle found in the New York Times for me:
Among the most important changes [during the 2006 renovation of the Situation Room], Mr. Hagin said, was the expansion of its use beyond the National Security Council to also include the Homeland Security Council and the White House chief of staff’s office.
So probably the reason why the White House didn’t return McCormack’s call is that somebody over there decided that if this dumb shit was too lazy to find the answer himself on Google, they weren’t going to be bothered to wrap it up, put a bow on it, and give it to him.
When will Bill and Fred be officially united in one of those mass Moonie weddings? “Standardizing Minds Want to Know!”
OMG! Does that mean that the perpetrator of this unforgivable slight to American History was Josh Bolten? How dare he “use the Situation Room for meetings in a way no previous administration did”!
Great find, Tintin. But I’m left wondering — are we being punked?
Indeed, it is the Time of the Exploding Heads.
Sales of Sham-Wow will skyrocket when Al Franken is seated in the US Senate.
BTW, lurvs that graphic, but is there any funny in the upper-left snipe? Type is too small for these old eyes to read.
Breaking:
Wingnuts – still lying, hypocritical fuck-wads.
Situation Room-gate is unwieldy. Can we call it Wolf Blitzer-gate?
Wow. Strictly monkey cage at this point.
I notice Retardgate wasn’t listed.
s rc Cntr sd tdy, B’s bnkng pln s fndmntlly flwd.
Gee whillikers, I didn’t realize it was so bad for those poor stressed-out wingnuts! How exactly DO you mail a puppy?
Hey, maybe they just all started donating all their tranquilizers to poor neurotics in Africa as of November 5th – & yet you dare to mock the emotionally (& intellectually) handicapped!
Whatever you do, you must NEVER contemplate the alternative scenario of those same veterans trying to get a meeting with President John Sidney “Stonewall” McCain III & getting the same thanks-for-coming-&-fuck-you treatment he happily gave vets while he was “investigating” the MIA/POW issue … because that would make teh Baby Rambo cry.
President Obama ran – & won – on a ticket centered around “change” & one can reasonably argue he has an obligation to make some happen … & though he’s made an impressive start I’d say frankly, if anything, he still hasn’t shaken America’s tree nearly enough yet. Just wait until he nationalizes a bank or throws down extra-hard on the GOP for being a bunch of obstructionist douchebags – THEN the real Cecil-B.-DeMille-scale emogasm begins.
I thought righties believed in the right to bare arms?
This isn’t so surprising. Their hero, Ronald Reagan, on his first visit to the White House asked to see the nonexistent “War Room”.
OT, but…
PENIS.
Wait until they learn Obama’s filled the Oval Office with Nerf™ balls.
Whatever. He’s no Chester Arthur.
Over the Xmas holidays the Ho and I finally got around to watching the final season of West Wing. That got us interested in the White House itself and we did a fair bit of fact finding on the web. Turns out the teevee version of the west wing is largely fanciful. One thing I learned is that the “Situation Room” is not located in the basement behind an eyeball scanner or whatever nor is filled with high techy video feeds and screens and all dat shit. It’s just another office with a couple secure telephones.
I’m sure a large part of their outrage stems from their completely unrealistic notion of what the situation room is. Just as their total knowledge of the CIA comes from 24. Rahm was sitting right there in the Preznit’s chair!! and probabl;y was palying with THE BUTTON!!! Or something. Once again, TV is more real to them than reality.
It would be funnier if it wasn’t so pathetic.
“They- They’ll see the Big Board!”
OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch) OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch) OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch) OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch) OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch) OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG! OMG! Did you see what Obama did? OMG! OMG OMG OMG! (crunch)
Doop de doo, checkin’ Sadly, No. Hey, I know what I’ll do…I’ll be “The Dow” and make some snarky comment about how I’m taking and it’s Obama’s fault! Heh heh, I’m so funny. All I have to do is make sure that the Dow is tan…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You win this round, Sadlynauts. Which is central to my point. Because shut up, that’s why.
Wow! Those are the most massively cockified slugs I’ve ever seen.
All White House meetings should be held in the steam pipe trunk distribution venue.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 23, 2009 at 18:33
OT, but…
PENIS.
Heh.
I thought you were linking to a Bill Kristol column.
If I were a member of a species with as prehensile a penis as leopard sluigs, I’d be totally into teh ghey hermaphroditic secks too.
I thought righties believed in the right to bare arms?
But, but, Barak HUSSEIN Obama is going to implement sharia law!!!11!!
OMG! Does that mean that the perpetrator of this unforgivable slight to American History was Josh Bolten?
At least Bolten wore a suit and tie, so he showed the office the proper respect, unlike that commiefascistliberalsocialistnegroislamistfakeirishman B. Hussein O’bama.
Bolton decorated the Situation Room with lovingly taken close-up portraits of George W. Bush’s hands.
I wonder if they believe that the Situation Room actually has magical powers*, like, Rahm vents his spleen (as I believe he is wont to do) and says, “Geez, guys, what’s with Idaho? They should all, like, just die in a fire!”, and just like that, Boise goes up in smoke, as if he’d used the Cosmic Cube for a paperweight.
*It’s well known that some rooms do indeed have magic powers, for example, crossword puzzles are solved easiest on the toilet, the host’s kitchen at a party enables conversation for shy people, and having sex on your parents’ bed gives you something to talk about with your therapist–even if it’s by yourself, and especially if one or more parents are involved.
Also, PENIS.
“They- They’ll see the Big Board!”
Actual photo of Rahm Emmanuel calling a strategic air strike on actual tea bagging party:
http://thisdistractedglobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/DrStrangelove2.jpg
It seems the uptight Righties have perfected their system of gaming Memeorandum.
But it really is a shame that you don’t see their incoherent shrieking getting more coverage in the MSM. I’m with Stephen Colbert: crank up the crazy and break off the knob!
It’s almost like they’re deliberately trying to drive themselves into the public-perception realm of hollow-earthers and UFO abductees.
To which I say: go, wingnuts, go!
Actual wingnut:
I love being naked, i think i’m a nudist, i have a small wiener too, well its small when its flacid… i like to think its evolution because it gets as small as possible when not in use and then when its ready…. BAM average length penis
Actual photos of Charles Krauthammer at Weekly Stnadard editorial meeting:
http://blogs.e-rockford.com/applesauce/files/2008/09/000strangelove.jpg
http://www.channel4.com/film/media/images/Channel4/film/D/dr_strangelove_xl_01–film-B.jpg
Home & Garden > Decorating & Remodelling…
Dear Yahoo Answers,
I like to walk naked around my house with the blinds open. I’ve often heard the question about whether the curtains match the rug, but since I have blinds, are the asking whether I’ve shave horizontal bars into my pubic hair?
Thanks!
Mein Fuhrer! I can VALK!!!!
You can’t have budget controversies in The Situation Room!
Also, PENISES!
The loony left keeps picking on poor Dr. Krauthammer, when all he really wants to do — out of the goodness of his heart — is to give America diving lessons.
Dear Yahoo Answers,
I like to walk around the Situation Room naked, but my slug-proportioned dong tends to terrify some of my staff members. Should I force them to wear blindfolds?
Two PENISES may be twice as many PENISES as PENIS, but I gotta say that Diggles is in a class of his own.
PENIS
Yahoo answers is my new best friend.
You put your left penis in, you take your right penis out, then you do the hokey pokey and you shake them all around…
And that’s what it’s all about!
So it seems that the Obama White House is using the Situation Room for meetings in a way no previous administration did.
Change BAD!! Thag NO LIKE CHANGE!!!
Really, that’s all of wingnut ‘philosophy’. They just keep repackaging it. Hell, you can probably find them whining about the White House Map Room after the renovation done under Clinton. “OMG! It now contains chairs, and other non-map-like substances!!”
Bedbugs are some bad-ass motherfuckers. Who knew?
Oops, wrong room
Bolton decorated the Situation Room with lovingly taken close-up portraits of George W. Bush’s hands.
oh, yeah – “Preying Hands”, right?
Bedbugs are some bad-ass motherfuckers. Who knew?
With all the biting, and the bloodsucking, and the damn near indestructibility, I thought it was pretty obvious.
With all the biting, and the bloodsucking, and the damn near indestructibility, I thought it was pretty obvious.
Well, yeah – but using your penis as a sword, and impregnating females by just stabbing into their abdomens – that’s pretty fucking gangsta.
Squick factor seven, Captain!
The fact is, Geithner’s plan only rewards Wall Street, which is causing the Dow to rise. This is contrary to the Heartland because, um, see, I was listening to Boortz this morning…
I’ll let this one slide. But God help Emmanuel if I catch him using the Incident Room.
Is Yahoo!® the new AOL?
Boss Bobby can’t catch a break. Or perhaps Power Palin arranged it to scuttle any potential rivals to her 2012 run.
Doodle.
Wuzza-wuzzup, Dragon-Queen? Looks like someone didn’t get the magnificent memo: The reason why Super Sarah, the Power Palin and Boss Bobby aren’t affected by the volcano story is because their citizens knew to leave the volcano ahead of time! That’s called personal responsibility, loony libs! Get a SPREAD of some, will ya?
That’s the spirit you see at the Terrific Teabag Parties: The spirit of Badoodle-boo-yeah! Take that to the bank and smoke it, loony libs! Urban out.
Teh picture made me wonder if conservatives would be appeased by a shit moat around the Situation Room.
They knew to leave because of mondo monitoring, badoodle boo-yah.
“Take that to the bank and smoke it” is a new favorite.
Their efforts also meant they knew enough to raise the alert level to orange, or “watch” on Saturday, a day before Redoubt erupted. That, for instance, meant that the FAA received advanced warning that flight disruptions could occur, and it gave local officials time to draw up precautionary plans to evacuate people if needed.
Hmph. Those residents would’ve evacuated on their own anyway, thanks to the predictions in Super Sarah’s Old Wolfshooter’s Almanac and the warning images of Bobby Jindal appearing on their toast.
Typical whingnutz, mocking something but proposing no alternative solution. Jindal should have said he’d pray the volcanos away or exorcise the demons out of them or whatever.
Blart.
Blart-iggidy-blart-BLAAART-blart.
…..
Blart.
(jeez I’m glad I brought the crossword puzzle)
Quality and consistency.
Baboodly doodly! Barry Hussein X and George Soros caused Mt. Redoubt to erupt in order to tank Bobby Jindal’s political future!
Take that to the volcano and sacrifice it, loony libs!
The cool coach like his hundies rolled on the plump, smooth thighs of Cuban ladies.
Before I emulate the cool coach, I would like to know what constitutes my “hundies”.
PeeJ said,
Look like a couple of fucking dickheads to me.
(Okay, so that’s plagiarizing the video dialog. Busted.)
And Sporting Parody Troll, alas, leaves me Badoodle-boo-yawning.
Here in the States, it means hundred dollar bills. I don’t know what that would be in antipodean, but it would probably be freaky, like an oddball flightless bird that looks like a fruit or an evil parrot.
Tigrismus, I thought “hundies” was the spoiler for the closing moments of “Attila: The Movie”.
Well it is now. THANKS. You going to tell me how this great Lincoln biopic ends and ruin that for me too?
“Hundies” could also be Atilla’s unmentionables…
The cool coach like his hundies rolled on the plump, smooth thighs of Cuban ladies.
Judging from the context, I would have guessed they were something like these babies.
it would probably be freaky, like an oddball flightless bird that looks like a fruit or an evil parrot.
Mock our flightless birds all you like, but at least they understand copyright laws.
You can’t have budget controversies in The Situation Room!
…what’s the current deal on budget controversies? 2-for-1? Buy now, don’t pay til 2011? Lots of yelling but nobody cares?
Needs more commas:
The cool coach, like his hundies, rolled on the plump, smooth thighs of Cuban ladies.
(personally, I prefer the high-end deluxe Controversie)
Smut, I thought you would have meant this flightless bird.
How mortifying: it was supposed to be “likes,” tying the Coach’s desire to “take that to the bank and smoke it” to the cigar description in “Something Wicked This Way Comes.”
I love adding the gate suffix to controversy. I remember a couple years back, I was watching the 5 o’clock news and there was a story about some water authority offical taking kick backs or some shit. The controversy wasn’t the important part. The important part was the news lady referring to the scandal as “water-gate”. Goes to show that the 21-year old writer they got to come up with that shit has no idea why -gate is a suffix meaning scandal, just that it is. That was the only time that scandal was reffered to as watergate, but that it slipped out at all was pretty funny.
I still liked the image of the Cool Coach rolling on those plump smooth thighs, before rolling a pair of fishnet stockings over the top…
Oh do go on.
Strangely enough Kiwi boot polish was not made in NZ!!!!! There may have been flightless bird copyright issues there.
I just hope that situations that happen in the situation room are situational enough. I’m not saying that they should be over situationalized or anything, but they should have have some situational components.
I don’t understand. Where else can one find another large and ready supply of kiwis to mash into a paste?
Bubba, the average shoe polishing person will not take the time to investigate the truth of the labeling. I think Kiwi Shoe Polish were gambling on the fact that most people cannot tell, even in taste tests, between worn out laying hens and Kiwis.
Of course those of us brought up with the damn things eating the cabbages in our parent’s gardens will know, oh yes we’ll know alright.
Why does this wingnut outrage surprise anyone? Remember between the election and the inauguration when they constantly complained about the Office of the President-Elect, which they screamed Obama had created “out of whole cloth?”
A moment on Google would have revealed that this office was created in 1963 for any incoming president who wanted to use it. Fact checking is beneath the dignity of these morons, apparently.
Where else can one find another large and ready supply of kiwis to mash into a paste?
The Ship, Borough High Street, London, on a Friday night.
Fact checking is beneath the dignity of these morons, apparently.
Facts, smacts…these outrage junkies know the true truths.
Hmm … I’m really surprised someone like Pam Atlas hasn’t tried to tie Emanuel’s “RoomGate” to these guys yet, what with them being 60s radicals & all.
Get it? Get it? Situationists? Situation Room?
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all nanosecond, try the beta decay!
Watermelongate!
This must be how waterms reproduce. Having elongated, they split into two.
John McCormack:
“So it seems that the Obama White House is using the Situation Room for meetings in a way no previous administration did.”
One might compare this to the following sentence:
So it seems that the Bush White House is using the Constitution for toilet paper in a way no previous administration did.