Aren’t you sorry you don’t live in Germany?

If you did, you could have seen The Bloodhound Gang’s Jared Hasselhoff show his penis on live TV, in what The Bild “newspaper” is calling:

Penis-Attacke im TV!

Good thing Jane wasn’t watching.


Comments: 10


I have a feeling she wouldn’t mind so long as no one was sucking it. Of course, it would be ideal if he were in a shower brandishing it only in the face of a potentially homosexual child.


Wer ist Jared Hasselhoff? Sollte er jemand sein, den ich kennen sollte? Jedenfalls…bu!…Ich kann den Schniedelwutz nicht sehen. Er soll unheimlich klein sein.


I was deeply touched by Mark’s letter. I know him well even though we have never met. He is representative of many other preteens and teens around the world who have awakened to something terrifying within?something they don’t understand?something that creates enormous confusion and doubt.
Something that I can reprint on my website to politicize a young boy’s sexual confusion.


Could I actually read the bog if I were in Germany? That would make up for a lot of limpid Hasselhoffian action.


Oh, and unless the topic is Jim Thome’s magnificent tubesteak, I want to hear nothing more about it.


Ah, I thought the penis-attacke was about Seb and his two penises.


Hail Jim Thome! From the Bulge Report, an eyewitness locker room report:

“Absolutely huge, caught myself staring. Thick from head to base. His cock looks like a baby?s arm hanging there”


Damn those censors with their little black boxes.


That’s OK…fiddle player/junkie Ashley MacIsaac flopped his junk out on Conan’s show a few years ago. Did some sorta pseudo Rockette/karate man move with a kilt on, and WEhhoops! there it was. He’s no Jim Thome, though.


Sheesh, that’s the squarest, blockiest penis I’ve evah seen.


Gee, hasn’t anybody posted an uncensored version of those pix anywhere? Censor-boxes are such sad things. Enquiring minds and all.


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