Shorter Hindrocket
Posted on March 17th, 2009 by Brad
- I’d rather shower our precious rich people with hundreds of millions of our taxpayer dollars than help some hicks in Utah stop bugs from eating their crops.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
He’s probably worried he would get confused for one of those bug-eyed bastards and get eradicated.
I NEVER get tired of that picture. What a douche.
I love the name Mister Leonard Pierce came up with for the Three Stooges of Powerline—Butt Propulsion Laboratories.
From the looks of that pic (which is made of 50% win and 60% awesome by the way), by “sword”, Assrocket means “sword FIGHT.”
IfyouknowwhatImtalkinabout.
The real lesson is that the federal government has no business trying to run an insurance company.
Um, I believe events have shown us that insurance companies have no business running insurance companies.
How come I don’t exist anymore?
Cornrocket: an even better NOM NOM NOM de plume
Wow. Photographic evidence of Hindrocket cramming Dick on a Stick down his throat. I’d only heard about it before now.
I don’t often click links here at S, N! but I just checked out the ‘Tools post.
Um. Is the writer aware that there is a global financial crisis happening? ‘Cause it seems like he’s leaving out some details.
Also, shorter ‘Tools: “Oh, that darned Congress!”
Why not? The Government runs a lot of vital and successful things, at least when Dems are in charge. Insurance? How about Unemployment, Social Security, Disability?, Medicare, Medicade?
Just keep Repugs and Conservatards away from the programs, and they run more fairly, and efficiently than any private insurance.
Or have I made a grievous error? Could it be that something is coming out of him rather than going in? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Hear, hear! In the spirit of bipartisan comity, and promoting self-responsibility and whatnot – I move that anybody who supported the Iraq Fiasco have their taxes quintupled until we’ve recovered the trillion or so dollars that are now buried in the sand.
Those Utahns are going to train those bugs to eat rich Minnesotans, especially the lawyers, and THEN who’ll be sorry, Mr. TorpedoButt? Also, the bugs only affect CORNDOG FARMERS.
Wait a minute. Isn’t Congress being concerned about appropriations to AIG the very definition of being concerned with its own spending?
When conservative fucktards like shit rocket here talk about fiscal responsibility and cutting spending – they invariably mean “all spending except military spending”. You know, the single largest fucking item in the budget – no cuts there!
Consistency? Hinderaker’s got the consistency of Cryptosporidium induced explosive diarrhea.
Hey hey hey! It’s time to buy buy buy! Trust me, the market is going up up up! Trust me, DOW 36000000000 in 6 months!!! Now that the jackboot of regulation and the SEC is OFF the market, we’re going to see a rally unlike anything yet!
{and…we’re off}
Hey, all you guys in the crew? Did anybody NOT short their entire portfolio yet? Better get to it
Whattaya mean the mike is still on?
August J. Pollak, cerca 2005.
I liked Bill Maher’s line from a couple weeks ago :
I mean, how stupid is it when people say, “Oh, yeah, that’s all we need, the federal government telling Detroit how to make cars, or Wells Fargo how to run a bank. You want them to look like the post office?” Yeah, I say. You mean the place that takes a note in my hand in L.A. on Monday and gives it to my sister in New Jersey on Wednesday for 42 cents? Well, let me be the first to say, I would be thrilled if America’s health care system was anywhere near as functional as the post office.
We Own AIG, Now Let’s Act Like It
It took me a grand total of 20 minutes to get my licensed renewed the last time I did it. It took me that long to get a freaking #1 combo from a Krystal on I-20 in Alabama the last time I was jonesin for sliders. Anecdotal evidence to prove a point is fun!
Here’s what I’m also sick of: The repetition of the names of federally funded projects in lieu of making actual arguments about their worth. Durr, volcano monitoring! Volcano monitoring! Bear DNA! Freaking BEAR DNA! Mormon crickets! LOL, what’s that? How STOOPID!
Hey, Senator McTroll, chew on this:
LOL, whatever! Durr, Mormon crickets, that sounds SO lame!
Idiots.
Also: Those who defend the billions of dollars we throw at building sweet military toys by noting that peripheral discoveries accompany the process make light of scientific discovery. It boggles the damn mind. Think of all the vaccines created when scientists, more or less, were just dicking around.
Very little military research benefits commerce. A lot of NASA research has been key in our Country’s tech-savvy.
No, Assrocket, the real lesson is that you’re a fatuous dickhead.
I’m gonna do a re-write of that Stephen King story except mine’s gonna be called Children of the Corndog and instead of it being about a cult of children worshipping a satanic corn god, it will be about a cult of childishly naive adults worshipping the moronic utterances of a corndog aficionado.
The role of He Who Walks Behind the Rows will, of course, be played by Rush Limbaugh.
Which means earmarks are, what, 2 percent of the whole spending bill?
And the thing is, money designated specifically for such things as infrastructure, pest and disease control, etc., is TOTALLY COMPARABLE with BONUS money going to a handful of bloated rich-fuck executives who nearly destroyed the global economy!
Hey, look, Larry Kudlow fell off the wagon again.
Durr, volcano monitoring! Volcano monitoring! Bear DNA! Freaking BEAR DNA! Mormon crickets! LOL, what’s that? How STOOPID!
Perhaps they’d prefer all those things be “faith-based”… To keep Pele happy we must make sacrifices! Artaius must be kept fed! Mormon Cricket God must be discovered to be appeased! Probably by killing people! And the sacrifices will begin with the Mockers and devourers of corndogs!
I think it does indeed go back to a mistrust of all things science.
On the one hand, Hindy is a douche. On the other hand, I think some of the sentiment makes sense. Yeah, it sucks these assholes are getting pay that may well not deserve, but WTF. It’s a drop in the bucket and from a strictly cost benefits stand point, it’s not worth paying this much attention to such a small sum. I’m sure congress gets a shitload more in general “benefits” and they do a pretty crappy job themselves.
Libertarians don’t need to eat food. Not so long as they can chew on their own bootstraps.
Then the crickets migrate in hordes (ten to fifty thousand) to foothills, rangeland, and crops.
No worries – there was that one time that that happened here in Utah, and God just set a bunch of seagulls to eat all the crickets. Problem solved!
Faith-based solutions FTW!
PROTIP: if even a GOP pol is publicly hinting that AIG execs should give seppuku a whirl, it may not be the best time to shrug & smirk at the $165 million in bonuses.
165 million here, 165 million there, & soon you’re talking real money.
These cretins give honest whores a bad name by association. Not to mention that the “let them eat cake” optics of doling out bonuses-for-boneheads in the middle of a hard recession pretty much suck ass.
As for that picture, it makes me sad because I recognize the cup in his hand as one from the Minnesota State Fair, and it reminds me that the Hindrocket is a fellow Minnesotan. What a shame.
Not so long as they can chew on their own bootstraps.
That makes no sense. Here in NZ, when we want to trap boots, we dig a hole in the ground and wait for them to fall in. There’s nothing to chew on. You must have a different kind of boots-traps.
I think it does indeed go back to a mistrust of all things science.
They get double results.
Some of the base are convinced that all of science is a plot to refute the Bible, & volcano monitoring & “watching bugs” are the scientists’ hobbies or something, & should be stopped just to bug the chrome-domes.
A probably larger group just doesn’t doesn’t want a buncha pointy-heads standing around using $10.00 words & acting like they’re better than the rubes, & on the rubes’ tax dime.
Either way, you can’t go wrong w/ most of the conservos if you bash anything scientific, or the egg-heads involved.
Yeah, it sucks these assholes are getting pay that may well not deserve, but WTF. It’s a drop in the bucket and from a strictly cost benefits stand point, it’s not worth paying this much attention to such a small sum.
And from a strictly personal opinion stand point, I’d like to see them eat a kilogram of their own earwax for every fucking bonus dollar.
All shall tremble before my polygamous chirping.
Jim: “These cretins give honest whores a bad name by association.”
Indeed. A whore who provided the same kind of quality as the financial institutions would leave the client tumescent, bleeding from multiple wounds and robbed of all valuables.
I move that anybody who supported the Iraq Fiasco have their taxes quintupled until we’ve recovered the trillion or so dollars that are now buried in the sand.
George Dubya Bailey: “The money’s not here! It’s, it’s in Achmed’s grave, and Abdul-Wahab’s grave, and the crater that used to be Waidi’s daughter’s house, and the four blocks where the school and shopping center were…”