The Atlantic’s Gain Is The NYT’s Loss
Posted on March 12th, 2009 by Tintin
ABOVE: The Sacred Heart of Douthat
By now, you’ve no doubt heard that the replacement for Bill “Emperor Palpatine” Kristol at the New York Times is the 12-year-old blunderkind Ross “Every Sperm is Sacred” Douthat (rhymes with “Cow Butt”). So we can expect to hear a good deal of whining on the editorial page about embryos, stem cells, abortion and other Vatican talking points. Think K-Lo, minus 200 pounds, plus a face-mullet.
To let you get more acquainted with Ross, here are a few shorters (some inspired by Roy):
- I really liked the Harry Potter books until I learned that Dumbledore is GAY.
- Hey, here’s a really cool way to get rid of gay babies without having to abort them.
- It’s unfair for liberals to point out the G.K. Chesterton, a devout Catholic conservative man, was an anti-Semite because liberals, when you get down to it, spend all their time “making apologies for terror and mass murder.”
- The fact that women I am with have a hard time achieving orgasm is a feature, not a bug.
- Even though freezing embryos rather than using them for stem cell research is an “empty gesture,” that is still the reason why I am opposed to stem cell research.
- I used to think Jennifer Aniston was hot until I saw a trailer for a movie in which she played a character that got her hoo-hah waxed.
- “At the moment, I’m probably rooting harder for Sarah Palin to succeed than I have for any politician in recent memory. Just something to keep in mind while you’re reading my commentary.”*
*Not really a shorter, but an actual entire post by Douthat on his blog.
Really, it’s a loss for all of us.
Oh, good. Another reason to write “FOAD” on the Atlantic’s constantly and persistently whiny return coupons, begging me to come back and be a subscriber. I keep writing “Fire Megan McArdle’s worthless ass and I’ll re-up for two years,” but they never do it and they keep sending me the begging letters.
Pa-fuckin-THETIC.
Fixt.
I see, the Zeitgeist has shifted and we need fewer grinning warmongers and more whiny Puritan scolds at the Paper Of Record. Gee, why didn’t the Times go all the way and hire Rod Dreher?
Gee, why didn’t the Times go all the way and hire Rod Dreher?
Sir, I beg you, please be careful of what you wish for.
K-Lo DOESN’T have a face-mullet?
News to me.
Why the NYT feels it has to “balance” its op-ed pages is a mystery. But why they manage to pick people who are complete asshats to represent the conservative side is either a mystery or one of the greatest liberal plots ever launched.
Thank about it: Your mission is to completely discredit the conservative movement. You can either try to snark them to death, or just let them speak for themselves in the most public manner. Kristol managed to demolish whatever smidgen of reputation he had (thus landing him a gig at WaPo). And now Douthat steps up to the plate.
Shorter Ross Douthat in general: The Republican party should do more to address inequality…by shouting at poor people to stop being such filthy whores!
That said, any columnist who endorses free-sprawling natural bush can’t be all that bad…
Sonuvadisemvowelledgoat, I commented on teh wrnog threedle. Anywho, here it is again:
Ross – you now have the same opportunity that B.M. Matt had. You would be a fool (or a Frenchman) to turn it down. Let me tell you right now, if you don’t take your chance to personally spit in Megan McArdle’s face before you leave the office for the last time – you will regret it. It don’t matter that you’re a conservative – ME-gan’s contempt of not ME-gan can encompass multitudes.
So young, yet so repressed.
What’s going on with a newspaper that’s struggling financially, and decides “let’s make it shittier and try to drive away our core audience”? Conservatives reflexively hate you regardless, and lefties think you suck because you do. Lose-fucking-lose.
He’s 29?!! Was he raised in a retirement home or something?
Ross Douthat is only slighly less of a doughy pantload than Jonah Goldberg, but only by a few miligrams.
He came cheap.
What’s going on with a newspaper that’s struggling financially, and decides “let’s make it shittier and try to drive away our core audience”?
Exactly. Conservatism is in ruins, the economy is collapsing into a second great depression, a wildly popular new president indicates a once-every-40-years realignment, Americans are turning away from religion in record numbers, progressivism is on the rise (led by a bumper crop of sharp writers in the blog-o-sphere who have already demonstrated an ability to build and hold an audience), your paper is hemorraging readers and influence…I know! Let’s hire a young moralizing scold! Problem solved, executive bonuses all around!
That’s some nasty talk about Aniston from Douthat. Did he consider the fact that back when he was geting a hard-on over her “adorable curves and baby fat to spare” she was in her early 20’s, and is now around 40? As people age, there are two ways to go — add muscle and tone, or let it all flab out.
Considering Douthat’s not-so-adorable curves and baby fat, I think we know which path he will take.
And that orgasm theory of his. This man has some issues.
Not really on topic, but I think “Cuntmullet” would be a good nickname for someone.
What?
But why they manage to pick people who are complete asshats to represent the conservative side is either a mystery or one of the greatest liberal plots ever launched.
———————-
This one is just a douthat.
Speaking of which, is this the one who had those embarrassing masturbation comments about Palin, or was that a different one? It is really next to impossible to keep track as they go by.
All I know is the picture’s perfect. Carry on.
Well he’ll make BoBo look smarter.
Mad Hatter– that was Rich “I need Kleenex” Lowry, for the record.
Hey, did you guys see Ramesh Ponnuru today?
Why Rush Limbaugh is good for Conservatives
This shit’s just too good!
If Limbaugh were to disappear tomorrow – which, by the way, he is not going to do – most conservatives would still put upper-income tax cuts at the top of their agenda. It’s not as though they believe what they believe because Limbaugh told them to.
BWAHAHAHAH
Speaking of Jennifer Aniston,
I seem to recall that Rachel Green wasn’t exactly all adorable curves and whatnot – more like a size two, or zero. And all that plastic surgery? Well, it’s just Jen saying so – so she may well be lying, but:
So, yeah. Jennifer Aniston – truly the reason for the falling morality of today’s under-30 crowd, and why the Islamofascist hordes with their loose sexual mores are going to TAKE OVER TEH WORLD.
Jennifer Aniston’s must be devestated that this piece of shit isn’t thrilled with her current look.
But why they manage to pick people who are complete asshats to represent the conservative side is either a mystery or one of the greatest liberal plots ever launched.
Aside from Krugman, their track record with the allegedly liberal side ain’t so great, either.
Love to hear his comments on this
Count me as another one perplexed by the seeming complete inability of the powers that be to understand that the conservatism they have embraced so lovingly has been utterly discredited. What’s it gonna take to penetrate these people’s comfy little bubble of privileged delusion?!
What’s that you say? Sharpen my torch and light my pitchfork? Hokay.
Hah! The Obama Depression is getting worse by the day! You lousy LIEberals and your socialist economic policies are destroying our economy! Just look at Wall Street . . . wait, WHAT?
Shit. Never mind.
Kristol is an effective troll, sometimes an entertaining one. Douthat Dance is dim and earnest and boring. In fact, he’s older than Burt Prelutsky.
Love to hear his comments on this
Who wants to be in that silly club anyway?
At least the Times was in the enviable position of replacing Bill Kristol, a situation which makes it physically impossible to downgrade. If they had announced that they discovered Hitler’s scrotum preserved in a jar of formaldehyde in some dark corner of Stalin’s old basement, and managed to hook it up to a Word processor via some sort of bluetooth technology, I think we would all still have nodded, frowned thoughtfully and grumbled “hmf, lateral move I guess.”
Yeah forcing a nine year old to carry twins conceived from incest AND rape to term and then have a caesarian is in no way a demonstration of how screwed up an absolutist dogma is.
You go to press with the Conservative ‘talent’ you have—not the Conservative ‘talent’ you might want or wish to have at a later time.
Well, I guess I do, according to the Groucho Marx Rule, seeing as they won’t have me as a member, what with the mansex and all that.
I like to think of him as more of a Postlutsky Burt. Either that or “Doubthat.”
But why they manage to pick people who are complete asshats to represent the conservative side
The dearth of non-asshat representatives on the conservative side, perhaps?
“Gee, why didn’t the Times go all the way and hire Rod Dreher?”
Don’t give them any ideas…
“Count me as another one perplexed by the seeming complete inability of the powers that be to understand that the conservatism they have embraced so lovingly has been utterly discredited. What’s it gonna take to penetrate these people’s comfy little bubble of privileged delusion?!”
Back in his pre-insanity days, Christopher Hitchens used to write about this issue from time to time in his Nation column. He said – back then, anyway, God only knows what his opinion on the matter is now – that there was a definite ideological motive behind all the reactionaries being given so much face time on the tv blab fests. The fuckers staffing the shows wanted the views they favored to be promoted above all else, the so-called “market” really having very little to do with who got invited on tv for premium exposure…
Of course, he was talking about television specifically, but I daresay his points could be equally applied to the supposedly “liberal” New York Times.
Gee, why didn’t the Times go all the way and hire Rod Dreher?
Buck up, there’s now a space open at the Atlantic for a moronic Jesus-hugger. Dreher’s a shoe-in.
Of course, he was talking about television specifically, but I daresay his points could be equally applied to the supposedly “liberal” New York Times.
I would not be surprised if it were so. Isn’t it heartening that, in the face of all this reactionary-pimping, their ideas still aren’t all that popular? More so than they should be, yes, but not overwhelmingly so.
Just think how marginalized they’d be if we actually had a liberal media. It makes my heart sing to think of it.
O/T: Michael Steele Steps in It Again, Forced to Issue Latest in Apparently Neverending Series of Apologies to Conservatoids, This Time the Anti-Choice Brigades.
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0309/Steele_under_fire_walks_back_choice_remark.html?showall
(grumble mumble why won’t my HTML burying technique work anymore? curses!)
This post does not make clear who created the shorter concept.
“At the moment, I’m probably rooting harder for Sarah Palin…”
I really didn’t need that visual. Now I have to bleach my mental eyes again. Thanks for nothing.
This. Bill Kristol is so hilariously awful and wrong, it’s almost as if he’s putting on a performance art piece the entire time. Even in his most mundane, bullshit boilerplate moments, he’ll whip out some whopper that you just can’t resist. The Times had to reform their corrections process because of all the Kristol mistakes that kept showing up in their first-run issues. Classic.
Douthat? Think-of-the-children scolding with a focus on abortion. It’s 2009, folks.
This post does not make clear who created the shorter concept.
Maybe because it’s not a shorter.
Also, a big fat badoodle-boo-yeah for the DJIA crossing 7,000 again. Good times are here again. Now that Citi has proven it can ride with training wheels, I say it’s back on the Harley.
MzNicky – It is intriguing isn’t it? Will the RNC keep the clown they have or exchange him for the Klansman they wanted in the first place?
noen: It would seem the Repigs just can’t do anything right! Will they cut the poor guy loose already and look like the knobs everyone knows they are? Or will they cling to their token Negro and look like the knobs everyone knows they are?
As Willy Wonka (1971) once famously said: “The suspense is killing me! I hope it lasts.”
I’ll just re-iterate what I said in the other thread. The “liberals” at the NYT aren’t exactly stellar, either. Print dailies are dying.
seeing as they won’t have me as a member, what with the mansex and all that.
You’d think they’d be more open-minded, what with the dresses and silly hats and all that. Maybe you’re just too butch for them.
You can pin all your Hope(tm) on Citi if you want, but it only turned a “profit” because of a massive infusion of bailout cash. This is merely a bear market rally.
BTW, economists surveyed by the Wall St. Journal are giving BHO a failing grade!
Hilarious to see the liberals lemmings walk right off the cliff.
The troll who wrote this:
Apparently was unable to read this:
Or is unable to understand sarcasm. Either way, epic fail.
Just think how marginalized they’d be if we actually had a liberal media. It makes my heart sing to think of it.
Mine too, which is why I’m so glad to see the so-called Liberal Media™ scrambling so hard to discredit itself. First things first.
O/T: Michael Steele Steps in It Again, Forced to Issue Latest in Apparently Neverending Series of Apologies to Conservatoids, This Time the Anti-Choice Brigades.
I highly recommend reading the whole GQ interview if you have the time. Lots of silly and contradictory statements from the head of the RNC.
S y dmt tht th Dw hs lng wy t fll, hh D.N. Ntn?
Cll m “trll” f y wnt, bt ‘m jst gvng th lbrls lttl ds f rlty.
Hw fr wll th Dw drp?
5,000?
4,000?
3,000?
s w’r lrdy rtrnng t th dys f Jmmy Crtr, th wrst Prsdnt n hstry.
Hey, that troll got snagged pretty quick.
(sharpens filleting knife)
I guess it’s Troll Pot Pie for supper again tonight.
nd sn, w’ll b nclr.
Hy, rn, pls dn’t? PLS?
HLP M BLL YRS Y’R MY NLY HP!
Rfl!
K-Lo DOESN’T have a face-mullet?
Well, it’s a demi-face-mullet. Just the moustache part.
Y lbrls jst cn’t hndl th trth.
Rlly fnny hw ths fnncl crss strtd rght s McCn ws ldng n th plls, sn’t t?
Hmmmm….
Hh kp t p lv mkng y wrk t “dsmvwl” m. Why wn’t y jst dbt m?
Cwrdly sht.
Kss m ss, y mthrfckng Bb Owns-flltng dmbsht. Sck Bsh’s dck sm mr, wh dn’t y?
I read that GQ article last night after J— linked to it. It’s too good to be true. Apart from saying that Grandmaster Flash isn’t hip hop, (He’s not even from the Bronx is he? Isn’t he from like Scarsdale or Great Neck?) he says that black people will riot if they close down stores in black neighborhoods and he commits far more serious apostasy than he did with the pro-choice comments here:
RAAAAACISM!!!!!!!!! /Malkin
Shldn’t y b sckng ff yr Mssh, D.N. Ntn?
Back to Douchehat, no time to go looking for links at the moment but I seem to recall him being friends and linking buddies with professional racist Steve Sailer.
Also, Tintin for president. /Rakim.
bm sn’t m Mssh, y pthtc sck f wngnt sht. G mstrbt wth yr btt-bdd Bb wns. Fck y.
Ds t fl gd nw tht blck cck s p yr ss D.N. Ntn?
BTW, bm jst md sgnng sttmnt. thght ths wr ncnstttnl?
nd wht bt fghnstn? n scltn? Wht hppnd t “n bld fr l” nd “nd ths llgl wr?”
Dmbss. Y’r gttng fckd nd y’r t str-strck by bm t rlz t.
Here’s the Douthat/Sailer/VDARE connection:
http://rossdouthat.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/07/credit_where_credit_is_due.php
It’s too pathetic to be comic, so I didn’t use it in the post.
ww, shld w cll th Wmblnc, pss? Cr, btch, cr! Mmmm, slt trs!
Stv Slr wld rn ntllctl crcls rnd ny f th ppl n ths blg.
H’s rght n mmgrtn nd y knw t.
Mnwhl rp gs dwn th shttr frm thr pn brdrs plcy.
Frnc nd Blgm wll lk lk lgr by 2050, nd nglnd wll b Pkstn.
Hh kp t p lv mkng y wrk t “dsmvwl” m.
No “wrk” required, it’s done automagically server-side. Hgs nd ksss, swtp!
It’s too pathetic to be comic…
Certainly, but the explanation of secondary sources is pretty ham-handed.
Bst Trll Evr. Cn’t stp gttng pwnd.
Thr’s nthng wrng wth Stv Slr.
Ahhhhh, much better! Thankees, SN overlords.
Um, is D.N. getting devowled or doing that on his own??
I did a scientific study and found that the trolls make exactly 748.5% more sense with no vowels than they do with vowels.
BTW, bm jst md sgnng sttmnt. thght ths wr ncnstttnl?
Hey troll, what’s a sagnag statement? Were you just demonstrating it?
Ah, nevermind.
If you still read Douthat after he petulantly took his comment section marbles and went home, ur doin it rawng.
“I’m just giving the liberals a little dose of reality.”
But you have so little of it yourself, I don’t think you should be giving it away.
I don’t know why a connection to Sailer would be such a bad thing.
He makes great points on race, IQ, and immigration. No need for knee-jerk P.C sliming.
Maybe Obama is asking all our favorite TV and movie stars to change their ways?
Or maybe he is giving away free breast enhancement surgeries to post-menopausal women?
I dunno. Someone wanna help out with this one?
Rooting. Harder.
That shit is making my head hurt.
How bored do you actually have to be to go through all the trouble of removing all the vowels.
Boring Troll is Boring. TGFKillfile.
Debate?
I come here for the PENIS.
Th PNS mghtr thn th swrd.
WOW! I wonder what those “great points” could possibly be?!?
I’d better not criticize a thinker like Steve Sailer. I don’t want to be accused of”P.C. sliming”.
It stands for “Peter Charles” if you must know.
Well why don’t you go read his bloh and VDARE to find out?
I gave up bloh in college.
How bored do you actually have to be to go through all the trouble of removing all the vowels.
Not bored enough to killfile himself altogether.
What Teh fuck’s a Bloh?
“read … VDARE to find out”
Yes, do read VDARE. I hear that it’s a reliable source of sound, critical thinking. Oops, I mean, I’ve never heard a reliable source say a good thing about VDARE. My bad.
I meant to say “blog”. Typo.
Who done let all the Welshmen up in here?
You can’t always rely on what others say.
Read the source material for yourself and make informed decisions instead.
Often these “reliable sources” have an agenda of their own.
I bet a lot of people on here are environmentalists. Well do you know that illegal immigration has harmed the environment along the border ans fed urban sprawl? Think about it.
Hmmm… Muslim immigration is destroying European culture… Muslims are outbreeding us… Immigration must be stopped … the MSM is objectively pro-illegal immigration… Muslims are destroying free speech…
All right, I’m done.
Meant to say “fed urban sprawl”.
Sorry, my workplace has banned hate literature
Well, a lot of that is true.
Which of those things do you take issue with? Why?
Is it based on facts and evidence or wishful thinking and feel-good multicultural propaganda?
hookahs and bloh for everyone!
The fart is, I smell like pooh.
I switched the keycaps on Adam’s computer. Let’s see if anyone notices….
Adam:
Do you have a place where you get your Depends cheaply? How many do you go through a day worrying about the Evil Muslim Terror?
Sincerely,
A Scared (like you) Republican
Come on guys. This guy has given us something to needle him with. Don’t feed this troll when you have something better to do with him.
If only they’d remove the vowels and the consonants. Only then, would their speech be truly free.
I always find the “bedwetter” argument from the left to be a curious one.
Are we the ones who are scared?
Or are the scared ones those who won’t face the facts on Third World (particularly Muslim) immigration for fear of offensing their liberal sensibilities and coming to grips with the fact that all cultures are not indeed equal?
I’d say the latter are the true “bedwetters”.
Actually Douthat sounds like “Douche-Hat” as it well should. And I don’t care how he actually pronounces it, that’s the way I say it.
“Oh it’s douchehat again”
See, doesn’t that feel better?
Adam…wow.
I call fake Adam; there’s no hilarious typos.
“Well, a lot of that is true.”
Shouldn’t all of it be true? That aside, it’s not so much the claims but the priorities. Sure, those things might be important, but they are not priorities on the list of things that need to be fixed to get this country out of the ditch.
Or are the scared ones those who won’t face the facts
Weird. We’re not peeing ourselves over T3h Brown Hord3z and *we’re* the bedwetters It’s like that fucked-up Star Trek mirror universe or something.
OK, returning to Douchehat, I think Jennifer Aniston waxing her hoo-hah merits an extended investigation.
“bedwetters“.
Outed
“all cultures are not indeed equal”
By what criteria?
It has been reported that Bill Donohue was banging Ross Douchehat until he (Ross) could grow a mullet.
Damn, Kristol’s going to wind up needing a forklift to cart his resume around at this rate.
Who better to replace him than a twenty-something curmudgeon?
Hmm … seems Douthat likes him some Bush in more ways than one … & he’s a fanboy of Sarah “Winky-Winky” Palin? Buddy, I don’t care how many five-dollar words you spit up while you’re defending Chesterton or Solzhenytsin, a move like that marks you as an incurable mental midget.
It’s official: the NYT is committing suicide.
Adam:
OK, I can take a hint. You don’t want to give me your secret source for cheap Depends.
I hate the conservatism credo “Never share anything”.
Sincerely,
A Scared Republican
Some say that Ross Douchehat felches goat spooge from the infundibulum of Papa Ratzi da Nazi.
That’s a VERY simple question to answer. Our culture (as long as you’re referring only to rich white American culture) is Good, everything else is Bad, Evil, and a bunch of poopyheads who raise my blood pressure and uncontrollable urine output.
If true, this could be a game-chager for Douchehat.
Douthat: ” the waxing phenomenon, which is … another instance of modern women taking their sexual cues from pornography…”
First the armpit and leg shaving, then the eyebrow plucking, and now this! Why can’t women just stay all hairy like the Lord intended?
I love the disemvowelment. I picture the little trolls all tied up in a big burlap bag, stomping their hooves and thrashing angrily about while emitting muffled unintelligible grunts and blarts. Occasionally they fall over.
And oh hey, what’s this I see? DJIA up another 130 points right now! Cons everywhere are canceling their “Failed Obama Presidency” parties.
thght lbrls sd ddn’t mttr.
Didn’t you get the memo? The DJI going up means that the Free Market, Tax Cut philosophy of Dubya is FINALLY kicking in after it fell 6000 points because of Clinton.
W tnd t b rthr shrt-lvd.
I come here for the PENIS.
Your wish is my command.
PENIS
Wait, you’re talking about Douchehat’s obsession with Steve Sailor?
I figured he’d be obsessed with Sailor Moon.
MzNicky said,
March 12, 2009 at 19:26
Sometimes I lament having a vivid visual imagination. Now is not one of those times.
McArdle:
Here he comes to save the day!
Oops, that was for the :24 comment; though :26 was also funny, :24 made me laugh out loud.
I expect Ross to be the one swinging on a rope through the flaming wreckage to pull them to safety.
It’s all one big high flying action film to them, isn’t it.
Adam was kind of cute and cuddly. I miss him already.
Rlly fnny hw ths fnncl crss strtd rght s McCn ws ldng n th plls, sn’t t?
…as McCain was loading on the pills? I thought that was Cindy’s department.
W tnd t b rthr shrt-lvd.
W tended to bi? His brother is shirt-livid? That’s not very respectful.
I hereby declare this the Most Annoying Thread, evAr!!!1! I mean really, in the history of the t00bz and all of time and stuff.
It bad enough hte tRoll does it, but come on, y’all.
I was going to say something nasty to/about t4t – in disemvowellled troll speak of course – but I didn’t know what to do with the ‘y’! Is it a vowel? It is sometimes. How does the disemvoweller know? What should I do?
IT IS A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA SURROUNDED BY A CONUNDRUM*
*h/t SC
Th PNS mghtr thn th swrd.
You left out the comma. The comma really pulled the whole room together, man.
IT IS A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA SURROUNDED BY A CONUNDRUM
…baked in a flaky, buttery pie crust.
OnT,
Out of the frying pan, into the cow-butt.
t my fck, lbrlz!!
Wouldn’t the conundrum melt if you put it in the oven?
Oh, now I get Douthat’s Aniston obsession. ROSS and RACHEL.
Wonder if he’s condemned unrepentant unwed mother Bristol Palin to hell yet?
Wouldn’t the conundrum melt if you put it in the oven?
Not if you have the courage of your convection.
It’s a pretty pleasant thought, when you get down to it.
I want a grease monkey script so I can disemvowel myself. (I know, I know, I’m so ashamed.)
Does the period go inside the parentheses? I forgot.
Wouldn’t the conundrum melt if you put it in the oven?
It’s already liquid, but it might evaporate.
Meanwhile, in traditional marriage land, Levi Johnston’s sister sez:
Ambiguity of ‘him’ is added hilarity.
I expect Ross to be the one swinging on a rope through the flaming wreckage to pull them to safety.
Look, McArdle was right about something for once! The Republican Party is ‘flaming.’
“Does the period go inside the parentheses? ”
No.
http://userscripts.org/search?cref=http%3A%2F%2Fuserscripts.org%2Fcse.xml&cof=FORID%3A10&q=disemvowel#387
In Soviet MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA SURROUNDED BY A CONUNDRUM, pie served beside ice cream.
Wzz wzzp, ln lbs? t’s th Cl Cch, srvng p SPRD f TRTH hr t Sdl, D’h! Y bttr blv tht th bmmr’s Slltmls s hdd fr rn, pvng th wy fr Bss Bbb Jndl nd Spr Srh, th Pwr Pln! Bddl-b yh!
Dng dng dll, ln lbs! rbn t.
Those damn elitists at the Palin house!
Does the period go inside the parentheses? I forgot.
noen: Do you really want to know? Well, okay. The period goes inside the parens if what’s inside the parens stands by itself and is not a part of the preceding sentence, which gets its very own period, being a sentence and all. So you did it right. A+ for you, young lady or gentleman as the case may be.
An enema surrounded by a condom? Sounds like a Republican social event.
Strangely, CUM’s posts seem nearly identical with or without vowels.
The fact that women I am with have a hard time achieving orgasm is a feature, not a bug.
It’s very charitable of you to assume that Mr. Douthat has enjoyed carnal relations with anyone other than Susie Palmer.
[Peeks hesitantly into the Sadly zone]
Hey, what’s this? Disemvoweling? That is SO FUCKING COOL.
Sometimes the thorniest problems have the simplest solutions.
This is nothing short of brilliant!
mikey
So do I, but perhaps not the way Mlle. McA. expects. And if she thinks some obscurantist Catholic fuckwad is going to save Republo-conservatism, well, we all know what level she’s working on
Do you think McA. shaves more than her legs/pits?
MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA SURROUNDED BY A CONUNDRUM
Conigmery?
Turdoubten.
PeeJ: I swear I got there from Salon.
Yes, so did I, last night. When I was reading Camille Paglia, as linked by TBogg. It’s awful too.
Actually, everything is awful. How’d that happen?
“everything is awful. How’d that happen?”
Eight years of Republican rule?
Sometimes the thorniest problems have the simplest solutions.
Except for the cretins de-coding the troll & feeding it anyway, yeah.
I’m sure that’s what she was actually thinking.
This is pretty fucked up:
In which case you won’t have genetic screenings for homosexuality that force socially-liberal parents to decide whether their commitment to gay equality outweighs their desire for grandchildren, and socially-conservative parents to decide whether their opposition to abortion outweighs their distaste for the idea of gay offspring; you’ll just have a regimen of hormone treatments that promises to keep your embryo straight, which is something that both sides of the culture war will find much easier to justify.
http://rossdouthat.theatlantic.com/archives/2007/06/the_future_of_homosexuality_ag.php
To which one of his commenters responds:
And with luck maybe they’ll also find in in utero treatment for homophobia! That way, socially liberal and conservative parents won’t feel a need to alter their children’s sexual orientation. And oh – plenty of gay men and women give their parents grandchildren, sometime naturally and sometimes via adoption. (You remember adoption, right? It’s how Joseph became the father of Jesus.)
No wonder Douthat disabled the commenting function on his blog. I can’t wait to see if the Times allows him to do the same thing.
Visualize Jennifer Aniston Shaving said,
March 12, 2009 at 20:10 (kill)
It’s a pretty pleasant thought, when you get down to it.
Pleasant is nice but I’m hot.
Douthat slash: DO NOT WANT.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
March 12, 2009 at 20:28
“everything is awful. How’d that happen?”
Eight years of Republican rule?
I think it goes deeper than that. A hundred thousand or so yrs. of “humanity” is what I’m thinking.
I expect Ross to be the one swinging on a rope through the flaming wreckage to pull them to safety.
Watch out for that tree!!!!!
“you won’t have genetic screenings for homosexuality that force socially-liberal parents to decide whether their commitment to gay equality outweighs their desire for grandchildren”
Is it me or is that some fucked up thinking? Is Douchehat a parent? I have to doubt it, as this doesn’t sound like any logic a real parent (liberal or otherwise) would ever use. Really, that’s just fucking insane.
“I think it goes deeper than that. A hundred thousand or so yrs. of “humanity” is what I’m thinking.”
Nah, I take the humanist view that people are good and, if not perfectable, improvable. I say if we survive another hundred thousand years or so, we’ll be much more likeable than we are today.
I’d like to ask Ross if Catholicism causes pedophilia among the clergy, because a survey of my Catholic male friends (gay and straight alike) indicates a 50% rate of sexual abuse.
I doubt that The NYT will disable comments for Douche-hat. Especially as one must click to get to the comments in The NYT.
That’s not like having them directly under the post, Atlantic style.
I therefore expect all Sadlynauts to do their duty & express themselves to Mr. Douche-hat.
I say if we survive another hundred thousand years or so
Beginning breath-holding … NOW!
FIgure the odds, JC.
Actually, it’s not thinking at all. Douchehat and the like are all id-monsters, willfully avoiding anything that might reasonably be called thought. And lemme tell ya, they got some damned ugly ids.
Wow. What an asshole.
I’ve noticed something. Almost everytime some one complains about “political correctness” in any form or fashion, they’ll soon be defending some totally racist/tribalist/xenophobic/classist/and generally sexist douchebag. Then, they’ll acuse you of “being afraid of the truth” in some way because you don’t agree with their fundamental axiom that Group X is Always Bad. It’s built into the fundamental laws of the universe, I think.
If “lynch mobs” or “race hustlers” come into the convorsation, don’t even pay the bar tab. Just leave.
“VDare?” Oh, I thought it said “VD Are.”
Watch out for that tree!!!!!
We have a winner.
you’ll just have a regimen of hormone treatments that promises to keep your embryo straight, which is something that both sides of the culture war will find much easier to justify
What if my life long dream was to have a son that’s an interior decorator?
if Catholicism causes pedophilia among the clergy
My take on this:
The whole love the sinner, hate the sin, you can “be” gay but don’t “do” anything gay, i. e., live a celibate life, leads many who have been thoroughly indoctrinated into Catholicism to believe/assume that their homosexuality is an indication from Gawd that they should be priests, since they have to be celibate anyway.
Then who knows what happens in the seminary, & Bingo!! Sexual abuse.
No, I’m not conflating/confusing gayness w/ molesting teen-agers. It would be interesting to know what exactly the hell goes on in the seminaries, I suspect that’s where most of the trouble starts.
I therefore expect all Sadlynauts to do their duty & express themselves to Mr. Douche-hat.
I hear, and I obey.
What if my life long dream was to have a son that’s an interior decorator?
Hormone treatments in the other direction.
I doubt that The NYT will disable comments for Douche-hat.
You should be aware that NYT comments (unlike WaPo, for example) are heavily moderated.
For example, I recently tried to comment on a typically disingenuous Thomas Friedman column on the economic crisis. I ever-so-politely pointed out that Mr Friedman (or as Stephen Colbert recently referred to him, “a talking walrus”) was a shining example for the American working class as he made his money the old-fashioned way — by marrying an heiress.
For some reason, NYT.com did not see fit to publish my comment.
Wzz wzzp, ln lbs? t’s th Cl Cch, srvng p SPRD f TRTH hr t Sdl, D’h! Y bttr blv tht th bmmr’s Slltmls s hdd fr rn, pvng th wy fr Bss Bbb Jndl nd Spr Srh, th Pwr Pln! Bddl-b yh!
Dng dng dll, ln lbs! rbn t.
Looks like Couch Oscar Meyer took one too many hits from the opposing team’s offensive line. He’s speaking in Addled Prizefighter now.
The whole love the sinner, hate the sin, you can “be” gay but don’t “do” anything gay, i. e., live a celibate life, leads many who have been thoroughly indoctrinated into Catholicism to believe/assume that their homosexuality is an indication from Gawd that they should be priests, since they have to be celibate anyway.
So it’s okay to “be” Catholic, just so long as you don’t “do” anything Catholic?
Cool. Got some phone calls to make now.
I vote for letting the Kewl Koach have all the vowels he wants, unless of course he’s coming from the same address as the un-funny idiot troll(s).
The Crazy Coach is even more incomprehensible when disemvoweled, if that’s possible.
It’s like a Three Bulls post on meth and ether.
I think he should only be allowed vowels when saying the word ‘diddly’.
You should be aware that NYT comments (unlike WaPo, for example) are heavily moderated.
Ah. I probably was thinking of the WaPo, where I have memories of hundreds of comments insulting & abusing their various op-idiots, offset by about three pro-fascists.
It’s worth a try, though.
Interesting choice of words, that interesting. I have known more than a few seminarians. Had a seminarian housemate in college for a while. He was pretty open about being gay and somewhat teed off with his fellow seminarians many of whom were closeted but avidly buggering and pole smoking neurotics.
He eventually moved back into the seminary mostly because he could get laid there pretty much any time.
Me too. Let us note that he had no prefix attached to his name, so the Cool Coach is one step ahead again, loony libs.
avidly buggering and pole smoking neurotics.
Upon rereading, I see the subject ambiguity. Quite unintentional but I think it’s better that way than what I was thinking.
subject, direct object, whatever
OT, big fucking surpise. Homegrown terrorist. Dirty bomb. Per wikileaks.
Big fucking surprise we haven’t heard about it. If it was an un-white person maybe the liberal media would be on the story?
I also vote for re-envowelling the Cool Coach, unless he has the same IP as the losertrools.
I’ll say they were avid! Managed to fight most of em off, though.
Didya notice that disemvoweled posts read like the poster’s got a dick in his mouth? That’s six ways of awesome.
I love the disemvowelment.
In honour of the discussion of Welsh in the previous thread, I request that ‘w’ be counted as a vowel for purposes of comment redaction.
I call fake Adam; there’s no hilarious typos.
Well there’s “for fear of offensing”.
The “Adam / Lord Harry / Scottish Contingent / […]” troll reminds me of the Dr Who series, what with the periodic regenerations. It is a gerbil inside an echidna wrapped in carborundum.
Say what you want about Ross Douthat, but he’s the smartest Republican out there right now.
I know that’s not saying much, but it’s something.
I know it’s been said before, but peak wingnut might just be right around the corner:
http://www.goingjohngalt.org/blog/
Yes, find out what happens when unemployed losers threaten to “go Galt.” I dare you.
It’s like a Three Bulls post on meth and ether.
But you repeat yourself.
That was someone impersonating the Cool Couch disemvoweled, not the real Cool Coach. CCUM isn’t marked for disemvowelment because he more or less behaves himself and doesn’t litter the comment threads here with a gazillion OT posts filled with juvenile taunts at other commenters. So he can have all the vowels he wants. The Fool, however, has been banned and the other currently persistent troll, who started out as RedStater75 but now comments under a number of noms de troll, is within inches of being banned. Interesting factoid: RedStater75 has left almost 2,000 comments in the course of his six-week existence here.
Please do not count my posts.
Just. One. Guy.
And they say that recycling doesn’t help.
RedStater75 has left almost 2,000 comments in the course of his six-week existence here.</i<
Good GAWD!
That is some righteous tweaking right there.
I once sharpened a machete for 65 straight hours.
Yes, the SAME machete…
mikey
ooooppss.
That’s what I get for trying to type and eat a sammich at the same time…
mikey
I say if we survive another hundred thousand years or so, we’ll be much more likeable than we are today.
Worst cover version of “In the Year 2525” EVAH.
Please do not count my posts.
Apparently frequent comments are only an issue if they are “filled with juvenile taunts at other commenters”.
Oops.
Only thing worth knowing about Douche Hat: he got owned by Neil Gaiman over the Dumbledore thing.
Speaking of juvenile taunts:
Fooly got ba-aanned!
Fooly got ba-aanned!
Har har ha-har har!
Neener neener neee-ner!
On a more serious note, thank you SadlyNo! overlords.
And GK wasn’t an anti-semite. He had his moments, but he didn’t hate the Jews, he just wanted them to have their own country.
6 wks X 24 hr/day = 144 (or one gross) wk-hr / day
X 7 days / week
—————————–
1008 hours = 7 gross hours
That ought to mean something.
Then who knows what happens in the seminary
First rule of seminary fight club…
Well actually, rule number one deals with the altar-boy dress code, but rule number two is the one you already know.
Almost everytime some one complains about “political correctness” in any form or fashion, they’ll soon be defending some totally racist/tribalist/xenophobic/classist/and generally sexist douchebag.
I’ve noticed that those who boast of being politically incorrect have this way of bitching about how they can’t call a spade an uppity nigger without someone calling them racist.
Merci bien, Tintin!!
Two thousand comments in six weeks? Holy shit. Sounds like someone needs a life. Imagine, sitting at your computer for hours and hours every day, scanning blogs obsessively and commenting willy-nilly as if anyone cared what you thought or said, sometimes leaving your desk only long enough to grab something to eat or let the dog out then running right back to … your … uh … sounds like my dog needs back in. good-bye.
But that list of web development flavor-of-the-month buzzwords is sure to land him a job any day now!
“I once sharpened a machete for 65 straight hours.
Yes, the SAME machete…”
Whoa. Was it still a machete when you were done?
I expect Ross to be the one swinging on a rope through the flaming wreckage to pull them to safety.
Oh, and big props to the site for dealing with those… things. Well done indeed.
if we survive another hundred thousand years Redstater75 will have left another 1,738,095,238 comments at his current rate of production.
Hat tip to Mark Twain.
Do novice nuns go to an ovarary?
you’ll just have a regimen of hormone treatments that promises to keep your embryo straight, which is something that both sides of the culture war will find much easier to justify.
For his next trick, Ross will promote a regimen of melanin blockers which will ensure that your fetus is born white.
Much like he did when he enlisted for the war in Iraq as he surely must have said,
Well, technically it won’t be “him,” per se, just his stunt double.
Yay!
*shuffles back to lurky land*
From The NYT announcement:
Than spell it that way, you dirty, filthy scum of non-English ancestry!
Proof that AMERICA SUCKS!
ensure that your fetus is born white
Now you stray into Mormon theology.
The “Adam / Lord Harry / Scottish Contingent / […]” troll reminds me of the Dr Who series, what with the periodic regenerations.
Will there be a reunion episode? Preferably with Daleks. And the Daleks win.
Exterminate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And GK wasn’t an anti-semite. He had his moments, but he didn’t hate the Jews, he just wanted them to have their own country.
So they could get the hell out of his?
In 1912 Chesterton’s brother Cecil lost a libel case to Jewish businessman Godfrey Isaacs over the Marconi scandal, and Mr Gopnik said that this, and Cecil’s death in the First World War, poisoned his brother’s views. “Chesterton’s hatreds became ugly and obsessive… From then on, however, Chesterton hammers relentlessly at the idea that there is ‘a Jewish problem’, the problem being that Jews are foreigners, innately alien to the nations into which they’ve insinuated themselves.
“It’s a deeply racial, not merely religious, bigotry; it’s not the Jews’ cupidity or their class role – it’s them. In his autobiography, Chesterton tries to defend himself by explaining what it is that makes people naturally mistrust Jews. All schoolboys recognise Jews as Jews, he says, and when they did so ‘what they saw was not Semites or schismatics or capitalists or revolutionists, but foreigners, only foreigners who were not called foreigners.’ ”
Chesterton condemned Nazi persecution, the author admitted, but in the context of the inter-war period “his jocose stuff is even more sinister than his serious stuff. He claims that he can tolerate Jews in England, but only if they are compelled to wear ‘Arab’ clothing, to show that they are an alien nation. Hitler made a simpler demand for Jewish dress, but the idea was the same.
“The trouble for those of us who love Chesterton’s writing is that the anti-Semitism is not incidental: it rises from the logic of his poetic position. The anti-Semitism is easy to excise from his arguments when it’s explicit. It’s harder to excise the spirit that leads to it – the suspicion of the alien, the extreme localism, the favouring of national instinct over rational argument, the distaste for ‘parasitic’ middlemen, and the preference for the simple organ-grinding music of the folk.
“He dreamed of an anti-capitalist agricultural state overseen by the Catholic Church and governed by a military for whom medieval ideas of honour still resonated, a place where Jews would not be persecuted or killed, certainly, but hived off and always marked as foreigners… his ideal order was ascendant over the whole Iberian Peninsula for half a century. And a bleak place it was, too.”
http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/articles/a0000326.shtml
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?
Also:
res=9906E0D7103FE432A25752C3A9679C946095D6CF
How would Ross know what women in porn movies look like???
Oh, never mind……
Douthaat had no idea what it’s like to be female (sepecially an actress) in this day and age, does he?
Jennifer Aniston isn’t a bad icon for this shift: When she started out on Friends, she was fetchingly adorable, with curves and baby fat to spare. Fifteen years later, she’s exercised, smoked and plastic surgerized herself into a weird, porn-like parody of a beautiful women – skinny, over-tanned, and all angles except for her still-pneumatic breasts. The waxing is just a small part of the pantomime, a final insult to the “natural” body she gave up on long ago.
Of course, Douthat will still be given a forum to write his dreck even when his man-boobs are hanging down so far they’re meeting his beer-gut, but I suppose that’s just par for the course for simpering little assholes like him.
Ross and Megan, sittin’ in a tree…
Hey guys, long time lurker, first time commenter. I must say that I really love this blog.
I especially enjoy the humor here, how you call out the hypocrisy on the right and still add humor into it. The conservatives have had their eight years and their time is up. I don’t think their rightwing socially conservative agenda is gonna fly in modern progressive America.
One thing we must always remember as progressives however, is that Islamic terrorism is a threat to our way of life. I know that the Bush Administration mishandled the war on terrorism in the wrong way using torture and all that, and his invasion of Iraq took our eye off the ball so to say. However, the war in Afghanistan is completely justified as it was Al Queda who attacked us on 9/11. I for one applaud President Obama’s decision to send 17,000 more troops to Afghanistan.
Islamic terrorism must be defeated, they are the exact opposite of what it means to be a progressive and are committed to keeping women and gays under the jackboot of oppression.
Skinny gals with perky breasts are parodies of beautiful women? Don’t tell Derbs, though he also likes him some baby fat.
Paul said,
March 12, 2009 at 22:43
Hey guys, long time lurker, first time commenter. I must say that I really love this blog.
I especially enjoy the humor here…
About here is when my BS meter went off.
The “Paul / Adam / Lord Harry / Scottish Contingent / […]” troll reminds me of the Dr Who series.
Self-fixing.
As with breast implants, it’s another instance of modern women taking their sexual cues from pornography
Would it really have hurt the silly little fucker to have looked up the history of breast-implant surgery?
This guy will be the older, younger Bert P.
Every time another white Christian American male goes on a murderous shooting spree, it’s only natural that my fear of the mighty Muslim menace increases.
“Islamic terrorism must be defeated”
I agree, as I’m sure you agree that police/criminal investigative methods are the proper response to terrorist acts.
The Fool is banned? But now who will make me question whether or not I want to be the kind of person who comments on blogs?
Oh, hi Paul! Nice to see you!
Also, blart.
Concern troll is concerned.
“Torture and All That”?
You know, the like…bad stuff, or something.
Try to sound more (or less?) earnest next time, Paul.
they are the exact opposite of what it means to be a progressive and are committed to keeping women and gays under the jackboot of oppression.
“They” being Christian fundamentalists, Catholic fundamentalists, Mormon fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists? Or is it just those awful Muslims who are anti-progressive?
Do Muslims even wear jackboots?
My fellow progressives can’t you see that radical islam is completely opposed to everything we as progressives stand for. They persecute women, stone homosexuals and women accused of adultery, they don’t allow abortion and kill people who have premarital sex.
I mean talk about the dark ages. They attacked us on 9/11 because they can’t stand our modern progressive way of life. The only way for this evil to be stopped is through direct military action. This kind of reactionary barbarism has no place in our progressive 21st century.
rooting harder for Sarah Palin
For those of us from the Land of Aus, this conjures up a rather different image to the one the author intended.
And would, in fact, have some bearing on the fourth example you cite.
Did somebody page me while I was out stomping on women and gays?
Paul just described the 2008 Republican Party platform.
Off with his vowels!
“They” being Christian fundamentalists, Catholic fundamentalists, Mormon fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists? Or is it just those awful Muslims who are anti-progressive?
I am a marxist, I believe that all religion is inherently evil and oppressive. The only way for war and oppression to end is to end the barbaric relic of the dark ages know as religion.
My fellow
progressivesconcern trollsWrong blog for this shtick, champ.
Something something. Paul is one of the most progressive members of this blog. Something something.
I am a marxist
I am a christian republican from america.
Your point?
He’s a first time commenter only if he broke into Lord Harry’s house and started using Lord Harry’s computer, at least judging from information that WordPress kindly supplies about comments.
Aaahahahahahaha. Pwned.
Thanks, Tintin.
Exactly Ezzthetic.
You don’t know Jack, Boots!
I am a marxist, I believe that all religion is inherently evil and oppressive. The only way for war and oppression to end is to end the barbaric relic of the dark ages know as religion.
So naturally the solution is military intervention halfway around the world, instead of addressing the rampaging theocrats right here in our backyard.
I hope you like consonants, Paul. Lots and lots of consonants.
Maybe I should put Ruppert Explorer 6.0 in my user agent string.
I like the seemingly new SN! policy of public troll pwnage.
He’s a first time commenter only if he broke into Lord Harry’s house and started using Lord Harry’s computer
Hey, to each according to his need, man. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
Dn’t y s my fllw prgrssvs, s r grt hr Krl Mrx nc sd “rlgn s th pm f th msss.”
H wsn’t jst rfrng t Chrstn rlgn, h ws rfrng t th vry cncpt f rlgn tslf. Jst lk Chrstn fndmntlsm, Mslm fndmntlsm s thrt t r cntry nd r wy f lf nd mst b dftd mltrly.
Jsf Stln, fr ll hs vls, ws n fct prgrssv. nd vn thgh h ws prgssv h knw tht smtms mltry frc ws ncssry.
Has anybody got a good recipe they’d like to share?
Islamic terrorism must be defeated
Here in my city, every terror incident in the last 20 years (and there have been several in Atlanta) has been instigated by a white Christian male. Conseqently, I have significant problems with your rhetoric and your aim.
In short, come back when you start thinking and your knee stops jerking.
It’s hard to bwrgl nwdl zs, with all these marbles in my mouth.
GRANDMA IDA’S GINGERBREAD TROLLS
½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
½ cup dark brown sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ cup mild molasses
1 lightly beaten egg
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¾ tsp nutmeg
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 troll
Preheat oven to 350°. Cream butter with brown sugar until smooth; stir in vanilla. Kill troll.
Beat in the egg and molasses. Sift flour with ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking powder, and salt. Check to be sure troll is really dead.
Gradually stir into wet ingredients. Refrigerate dough for 15 minutes while stomping on troll’s corpse with golf cleats.
On a floured surface, roll dough out to ¼” thickness. Cut into trolls with troll-shaped cookie cutters and place onto aluminum foil-lined cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes and transfer to cooling racks. Cremate dead troll.
Think how peaceful Northern Ireland would be by now if the Brits had tried the “Aerial bombing of suspected terrorist safe-houses” response to bomb attacks and shootings.
Kill troll.
This is an optional step, as the trolly bleats of pain and frustration can prove most entertaining later on in the process.
ABOVE: The Sacred Heart of Douthat
Alternative title: Douthat demonstrates new chest-mounted cigarette lighter.
Not suitable for men with long beards.
This is an optional step
Not in my kitchen, buster.
Ross Douthat said:
Michael Gerson’s Heroic Conservatism
Indeed. One is irresistibly reminded of the fruit of the female ginkgo tree.
Not in my kitchen, buster.
Awwww, Gramma Ida never lets us kill the troll. Or lick the spoon.
I am marxist, I believe that all religion
is inherently evil and oppressive
Best sung in a whiny Morrissey voice.
The alliance between evangelical Christians and the Republican Party has been one of the most fruitful political partnerships in recent American history.
It’s twoo! It’s twoo!
C’mon, relax.
It’s like quitting smoking.
I know the urge to argue with idiots is strong when you first give it up.
And when an idiot sneaks in with his vowels intact, it seems like a heaven-sent opportunity to argue with them once again.
But if you just upstairs and apply a “Troll-Enz” patch, by the time you get back the proprietors will have taken from them those five little letters that mean so much.
And once again, there shall be peace throughout the realm…
mikey
Do Muslims even wear jackboots?
Think how peaceful the world would be if we could disemvowel terrorists and warmongers and Creed fans….
But you can argue with mikey all you want.
just keep in mind that thing about the machete…..
Hey where did Paul go? Did Adam lock him in his basement with Lord Harry and The Fool?
Crikey, that’s an image I didn’t need.
So – who wants a cruller?
OK, tell us about the image you do need. There’s sure to be something suitable in the Hans Bellmer oeuvre.
Y knw wht hrb dds dlghtfl flvr t ny ml? Clntr!
What are these ‘brssl sprts’ of which you speak?
Brassail Spurts?
Clockwork Jesus ahoy!!
#
‘Jack-sandals’ duh said,
March 12, 2009 at 23:38 (kill)
?
Jack-flip-flops.
“Rhymes with ‘cow butt'”
Really?
I would have expected it to rhyme with “Douche Hat”
Jack-pumps
He may be a disemvowelled troll, but Clntr really does dds dlghtfl flvr t ny ml.
FCK Y CLNTR!
Hey guys, long time lurker, first time commenter. I must say that I really love this blog.
I can always spot bad acting.
I know some folks hate it, but sls just isn’t sls without clntr.
Copy-pasta troll uses too much clntr-C clntr-V.
Ever let clntr go to seed? If you do, you gets yourself one of the finest spices ever to grace the human palette – crndr.
Eating clntr is like pdphl while crndr is like sxl rltns wth n adlt wmn.
Has anybody got a good recipe they’d like to share?
I’ve got plenty, NYGuy. Well, except anything with flesh in it. Desserts R Me. What do you like?
OMG it’s revenge of the nerd-libs on the bullying unctuous gnat-like trolls. I am once again laughing and laughing at S,N commentariat.
ever to grace the human palette
I hesitate to ask what you use for a paintbrush.
Also, when you are painting with this human palette, do you cover the entire BUTTOCKS? I personally intend to leave no stern untoned.
ever to grace the human palette
Vincent Van Gein.
Almost feels like coming home, eh Mz?
mikey
Especially with you here again, mikey.
Eating clntr is like pdphl while crndr is like sxl rltns wth n adlt wmn.
Coriander is fetal cilantro, libertine.
If he got exposed to Cosmic Rays in an experimental spaceship, would he turn into the Incredible Ross Douthat Thing?
‘Cause that would be cool.
Sorry.
There is ancient wisdom on the subject.
I believe it goes something like this:
“You can’t make a Pad Thai without Tearing a few Cilantro leaves.”
mky
Hy ppl wht’s p? My nm s chmpvl nd lv rght rnd th crnr frm y ll, xcpt t’s th bd blck y n’t llwd n. nywy ‘v bn rdn yr blh fr whl nw bt ‘v bn shy t cmmnt cs y ll s dmn fnny tht ddn’t wnt t sm stpd (t lt=rght! hh) K snc w ll prgrssvs n ll jst wntd t sy SLMFSCSTS MST D!!! THYLL STMP LL VR Y ND YR BBS MTHRFCKRS!!!!
S k nc mtn y ll nd nw tht gt vr my shynss, ‘ll b stppng by mr ftn!
P.S. f NYBDY trs t tk wy my vwls, prms wll hnt y th fck dwn!
“you can’t make a zombie movie without cracking a few skulls!”
At the risk of offending, ZRM, Alice used kukris.
Sever the spinal cord, was what the Red Queen said…
mikey
I don’t remember that line in the lyrics.
On Topic. via Atrios, so the lib legions of Soros funded zombie Obot clones probably is already on this, but Douchehat, teh collage years. Incidentally, I apologize to all women for using the term “douchehat” – this ignorant as fuck motherfucker isn’t in the same league as douches, tampons or other sanitary products.
hey, it takes a lot to offend a zombie.
A LOT.
‘Course, we will eat your brains either way, so maybe it’s not a big deal.
And y’know, Alice IS hot….
mikey
Dragon-King Wangchuck darling: No apology needed, but accepted nonetheless.
In addition, the substitution of “enema” for “douche” would be way feminist-appropriate, speaking solely for my own self and not as a representative of any recognized affiliation of feminists.
As prototyped by the assholes at 3Bulls, ‘Cobag’, short form for colostomy bag, has also proven to be an acceptable gender neutral epithet.
Pinko and pals have stress tested it in many different situations, and it seems to be durable, if half-assed.
Such putatively detractive labels as “cobag” are used by the young and clueless who, in their youngness and cluelessness, do not yet acknowledge (and why should they) the sad inevitable reality that someday they too very well may have the exceedingly humorless need of a colostomy bag. These admittedly pathetically comforting realizations nevertheless help ease the encroaching desperate numbness of us the rapidly aging.
OK;
“asshole” and “shithead” still seem to be functional, right?
So do Zombies put any herbs and spices in the old cranial custard?
The trouble with the word ‘asshole’ is that it leads to ‘Picasso’, and that in turn can lead to outbreaks of large-flightless-bird-related punning.
You could say that I have become Picasso-wary.
Smut, Pablo Picasso was never called asshole.
Hey “Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole” according to J.Richman.
You’re pretending that your urination is pivotal. That’s right the key wee.
It’s a fair cop, guvnor
What is wrong with the NYT?
us the rapidly aging
The lost Ayn Rand novel?
Damn you did take my vowels! Listen, I’m not a fucking troll, I was just trying to be funny, you know playin off that one post. Hopefully you were bein funny in return I don’t know, but I gotta tell you, you fucked up the start of my day. Seriously.
…outbreaks of large-flightless-bird-related punning.
You mean avian non-flew epidemics? Get rhea – flightless bird punning is so difficult, I don’t think we can come up with any moa.
Doughhat? Is that like an asshat, it would make sense since he sounds like one. I sure hope a doughhat is not some creepy cross between Doughy Goldberg and an asshat because the amount of mind bleach necessary to rid myself of that image probably has negative side affects.
SLMFSCSTS MST D!!! THYLL STMP LL VR Y ND YR BBS MTHRFCKRS!!!!
SLMFSCSTS: LL YR BBS R BLNG T S!
Get rhea – flightless bird punning is so difficult, I don’t think we can come up with any moa.
I don’t know, let me run down to the corner optical store and get my new glasses…you know the place…Archaeopteryx?
I don’t think we can come up with any moa.
That’s most rich, coming from you.
To get some grist for Douthat’s ‘pro-life’ pieces, Google “aborticentrism.”
SLIMFASCISTS? Is that people who report you to the authorities for drinking the wrong “shake”?
I’m going to come to the defense of the use of the term “douchebag”, and for the following reason: any reliable book on sex is going to tell you that women shouldn’t douche, and if they feel they need to, they probably have some kind of infection and need to see the gynecologist. A douchebag is therefore an item that is both sexist (because the only people who like them are people who don’t like pussy to begin with) and useless.
“Cobag” works too though…