Dial ‘P’ For Pork Chorus

Oh, why not. Here’s Michelle again.

Enough! Anti-pork chorus is growing
by Michelle Malkin
Mar. 8, 2009

Enough. In a word, that is the message of disgusted taxpayers fed up with the confiscatory policies of both parties in Washington. George Bush pre-socialized the economy with billion-dollar bailouts of the financial and auto industries.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again unless I think of another one first: If Michelle Malkin moves any farther to the right, her eyes will start to migrate to the side of her head, like a flounder.

Barack Obama is pouring billions more down those sinkholes. It isn’t just the camel’s back that’s broken. His neck and four legs have all snapped, too.

From this last straw. This last straw of billions poured down the sinkholes of bailouts.

It can’t just be me: Do you also sometimes picture Malkin at her desk, happily typing away angrily, with something like James Taylor or Dan Fogelberg playing through the iPod dock — and she stops and looks up at the wall for a moment, scowls as though inspired, and writes, “a wake-up call for the earmark watchdogs,” or “a pork-laden ivory tower bailout,” or another such fantastical vision, the effect of which is to promote levity and divert melancholy? This camel in the sinkhole — he is on the gravy train.

Enough. On Feb. 27, thousands of Americans turned out to protest reckless government spending in the pork-laden stimulus package, the earmark-clogged budget bill, the massive mortgage-entitlement program and taxpayer-funded corporate rescues.

Also the pork-clogged stimulus bill, the earmark-laden budget package, the taxpayer-funded mortgage-entitlement rescues, and the massive pork ear clog in the mark-laden corporate program.

Contrary to false left-wing blog smears that the hastily planned impromptu events were “Astro-turfed,”

Enough of this blog-smeared ear-laden pork clog. These massive-funded ‘taxpayer’ events were a corporate entitlement package.1

…the crowds were packed with first-time grass-roots activists.

After all these years of watching conservatives mislead people, twists like this still bring surprise and delight. Did you see how she did that? Contrary to false smears that the events were Astroturfed, the crowds were packed with first-time activists. It’s like that William Carlos Williams poem.

This Is Just To Say

Contrary to false and malicious smears that I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox,

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast,

The icebox
had a bowl of plums in it the last time I looked
so sweet
and so cold.

This comes a week after we proved that she, herself was whooping up some of these events in open cahoots with a major Astroturf foundation, even as she angrily denied any knowledge of a differently named foundation that nobody had said she worked for.2

MRS. MAGLALANG: Did you draw on the nice, clean wall with shoe polish?

YOUNG MICHELLE: I did not draw on the green wall with snoo polish.

MRS. MAGLALANG: Oh, who is behind all this mischief? [rushes off wringing hands]

They were people with families and day jobs whose usual definition of “community organizing” involves neighborhood yard sales or their kids’ soccer matches. They were members of the silent majority who decided to be silent no more.

Conservatives are always an embattled minority, and at the same time a majority that is always about to rise up. If we fail to understand how this can be so, it is because we lack ‘common sense,’ which is a thing that conservatives have natively, while we are forced to apprehend the world by thinking.

Common sense allows you to argue with the world and make it conform to reality. The world may say one thing, but that’s its opinion, and what if you say something else? It’s a tie, that’s what. And if you have common sense, you can argue with it and tell it how things actually are, which they will then be.

For instance, here is the illustrated story of how Democrats and poor black people 100% caused the financial crisis, and how it is all their fault. People may try to lie and lyingly say Bush or Republicans were to blame, but then you just win because you can be like “No they didn’t,” and start believing even worse things about what Democrats did. Because what can they do about it? Nothing, that’s what! In America, no one can tell you what to think or be righter than you. That’s the law in the Constitution.

Enough. These “Tea Party” protests spanned the sunny Santa Monica pier to the icy streets of Chicago and Cleveland to rain-drenched Atlanta, overflowing the grounds of the St. Louis Gateway Arch, with massive turnouts in Greenville, S.C., and crowds of several hundred each in New York City and Washington, D.C., and all points in between.

There were some provably well-attended protests over the weekend, including the ones in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and Orange County, California. (Almost invariably, conservative blogs will tell each other that the attendance at one of these things was hundreds or thousands, while passing around pictures that look like a couple of dozen people standing around.) Both of these protests were arranged by radio personalities and populated through a saturation bombing of wingnut talk radio listeners. It’s debatable whether there’s been a single protest in this series that wasn’t organized, materially underwritten, and/or publicized by a right wing foundation or lobbying group — and by ‘debatable’ I mean there are some I didn’t check into, or where I couldn’t identify the specific wingnut entity at work.

Like those who demonstrated before them in Mesa, Seattle, Denver and Overland Park, Kan., two weeks ago, the Tea Party participants held homemade signs that said it all: “Your mortgage is not my problem”; “Liberty: All the stimulus we need”; “No taxation without deliberation.”

The speed and scope with which they mobilized were due not to nefarious outside conspiracists but to social-networking Web sites Facebook and Twitter, where a burgeoning network on Twitter called Top Conservatives became the central clearinghouse for information.

The speed and scope at which they mobilized was not due to the political operative yelling through a bullhorn, but to electronic technology and the way in which bullhorns become a clearinghouse for information.

Top Conservatives on Twitter. No, that’s certainly not a top-down network run by Republican political operatives, and they are in no way planning these protests via means not publicly stated.

Planning for a new wave of demonstrations on April 15 has begun at www.taxdayteaparty.com.

Which is in no way a site run by Republican political consultant Eric Odom, etc. And it goes on. Next Malkin says that “untold numbers” of “America’s wealth producers” are “going,” as they call it, “Galt.” This is true, as the numbers are untold and may be anywhere from fifty kershmillion to zero. Examples are given of people gassing off on right-wing blogs.

I never get tired of this work, it’s true, but I’m beginning to worry about being rendered superfluous.


1 This is a fairly random selection of links. Of the many wingnut entities trying to Astroturf this demographically tiny movement, the most successful so far has been Americans for Prosperity, which has the most state offices that are actually staffed by somebody (their somewhat younger-aiming twin, Freedomworks, has lots of state affiliates and names on its membership rosters, but most aren’t real). American Majority, an iteration of the Sam Adams Alliance, is new and still expanding, and promises to do interesting things this year.

2 If one were to be strictly literal, Michelle Malkin has never worked for or with “The Koch Foundation.”

 

Comments: 376

 
 
 

Enough of this blog-smeared ear-laden pork clog.

Now you’re making me hungry.

 
 

The fact is, liberals are stupid.

 
 

As usual you nail it, but I fear your warning that America is about to experience a mass “die-in” of deranged Birthers, waving affidavits swearing that they were summoned by no party or clique but merely heard beautiful music and wanted to live in it forever, may go unheard by our fellow citizens. Can’t we take a page from their notebook, and hire somebody to spread our message by promising to kill himself on New Year’s Day (or, given the urgency, St. Patrick’s)?

 
 

The expression on my face in that photo is entirely the result of eating some bad pork in a disgusting Asian restaurant (you know how slovenly and dangerous those people are) and is absolutely no reflection on my mental health, emotional state, or raging inner demons. Jesse was spared this agony because he doesn’t eat pork, being a dirty kike and all.

 
 

Advisors: Mr. President, we must pre-socialize the economy.

Bush: Is it January yet?

 
 

Dozens of faces howled
their rage into the rain
each a non-protestor
worth a dozen protestors.
They never do this sort of thing
would not be doing this sort of thing
except for higher taxes
which would certainly be crippling taxes
if their taxes were being raised
and if the rain hadn’t kept them away.

 
 

Sweet Jesus. That was William Carlos Williams, not e.e. cummings. This isn’t pie change I can believe in.

 
 

William Carlos Williams, you bloody Philistine.

 
 

William Carlos Williams, you bloody Philistine.

I believe that you owe an apology to bloody Philistines.

 
 

pork-laden stimulus package,
BACON EXPLOSION!

 
 

Today, oddly enough, is Chuck Norris’s’s 69th birthay. He’s almost old enough to be a Republican presidential candidate.

Although I guess he’ll be running for President of Texas under the Secessionist Party banner.

We the people have the authority according to America’s Declaration of Independence, which states:

that the declaration has no actual legal standing.

Chuck is just about on permanent drool.

 
 

to promote levity and divert melancholy?
Inquiring minds are wondering whether Gavin M. was exposed to the Kai Lung stories at an impressionable age.

 
 

Dancing Stalin, as mentioned in anti-Martian thread.

 
 

I did not trick a wingnut with a fake activist event called a Steveland Cleamer.

 
Most Pathetic Republican Talking Point Ever
 

Nobody/Nobody 2012!

Bookmark it, libs!

 
 

“…the pork-laden stimulus package, the earmark-clogged budget bill, the massive mortgage-entitlement program and taxpayer-funded corporate rescues.”

It’s amazing how Malkin uses a hyphen as code for, “feel free to fill in all of your own misconceptions about the problem.’

 
 

Chuck Norris for President of Mars, and Emperor of the Spaces Between

bookmark this!!

 
Republican "Grass Roots" Mixed Metaphor Department
 

Where do you want these 50,000 tea bags stuffed with pork?

 
 

Just put ’em on the back of that camel.

 
 

Um… you gonna eat those?

 
 

bloody Philistine
I try to keep up with all these new cocktails. Recipe?
You Obama defenders are like drowning camels clutching at straws.

 
 

The fact is, we are going to have a teabag block party in our neigborhood here in the Heartland

 
 

That picture reminds me of part of Sorcerer Tim’s dialog from Monty Python & the Holy Grail:
“Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit. That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.”

Prescient.

 
 

Overland Park, Kan.

The same Overland Park, Kan. that lost its position as the majority producer of US aircraft because the citizens of Overland Park and Johnson County found more reward in voting for social conservative, anti-labor Rethugs than socially liberal, pro-union Dems?

So they had themselves a little Tea Party to show that they want more of the same job-destroying fucktards making sure their cushy aviation jobs stay in Washington and Chicago in exchange for the promise that Adam and Steve can’t get married and adopt children and that little 16-year-old Janey can’t terminate her unwanted and life-altering pregnancy, let alone her rape or incest pregnancy, then, did they?

Unbelievable.

You go, Overland Park, Kan. A shining example of what happens when you decide that other people’s private lives are more important than your own job.

 
 

[Thanks! Incredibly embarrassing poem attribution fixed…]

 
 

“Our vision is to promote a complete range of in-room guest amenities that cater for the growing need of skin allergy sufferers, as well as reflecting the global trend of environmentally conscious consumers.”

Epic fail.

“Our vision is to promote a complete derange of in-room guest nutters that cater for the growing need of wingnut loonies, as well as reflecting the global trend of barely conscious consumers.”

Winnar!

 
 

They were members of the silent majority who decided to be silent no more.

In other words: For every person who actually showed up at our teabagathons, there were millions and millions who couldn’t get there because they have jobs and don’t abort their babies, unlike the DFHs who show up at LIEberul protests. (And the DFHs only come out for the huge bags of pot and ghey sex paid for by suspiciously not slaughtered by Nazis Jewish person George Soros anyway).

In other words: 18 MILLION STRONG BEOTCHES!

In other words: WOOLVERINES!

 
 

Yes, it is my 69th birthday, and I thank you for noticing, even if you are filthy commies who I will no doubt need to destroy after we do cake and presents.

Ironically, the fact that I age at all is brought about by my own terrible fists…time only moves forward in this universe because its running away from me.

 
 

James Taylor or Dan Fogelberg? Malkin strikes me as both stupid and a bitch and — well you do the math:

Stupid + bitch = stoopid punk bitch.

I think she was listening to Sonic Youth.

 
 

This is funny. From the Guardian‘s George Monbiot, the Climate Change Denier Playing Cards.

 
 

“Our vision is to promote a complete range of in-room guest amenities that cater for the growing need of skin allergy sufferers, as well as reflecting the global trend of environmentally conscious consumers.”

I already saw that movie. “Safe,” starring Julianne Moore. Very depressing.

They made a resort instead of a sequel?

 
 

I’ve heard it said Chuck Norris
Has both penis and clitoris.

 
 

Malkin is fair. She admits that members of both parties are behaving irresponsibly, basically just throwing our (my, as a taxpayer, anyway) money around. QUITE FRANKLY, when is the last time you saw a prominent liberal admit that Obama was anything but the 2nd coming of Christ? It just shows you people who is more intellectually honest and (Conservatives) and who is intellectually and morally bankrupt (Democrats).

 
 

An especially good Bob Herbert op-ed in today’s New York Times; his writing usually tends toward the pedestrian, but this subject seems to have coaxed out the best in him:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/10/opinion/10herbert.html

 
 

Texas barely won independence from Mexico. Like the rest of the South, they got their asses duly kicked when they tried destroying the Union.

It would be much more efficient to get all the treason-minded Southern white conservatives to pick a state, just one state, say, Alabama or Mississippi, and we’ll move everybody else out, and all the military bases, and all the fedrul gubmit jobs, and all the fedrul gubmit subsidies, and all the fedrul gubmit contracts, and then they can have their sh*t hole and we can be done with them.

 
the incredible whiteness of being
 

Malkin is fair. Well, actually rather swarthy. But at least she acknowledges the darker races are inferior, which makes her an honorary House Nigger.

 
 

Smut Clyde said,

March 10, 2009 at 10:59

pork-laden stimulus package,
BACON EXPLOSION!

BACON EXPLOSION!!

 
 

Remind me again why the Repugs listen to anything this anchor baby has to say?

 
 

Somebody want to let the Wrongwing’s resident rageholic know that at least half of the earmarks, including 6 of the 10 largest, in the appropriations bill are from Republicans?

 
 

With all this aversion to pork, you’d think they’d all be as slim and trim as Ms Malkin, with cholesterol levels to match.

 
 

It just shows you people who is more intellectually honest and (Conservatives) and who is intellectually and morally bankrupt (Democrats).

So let me see…Malkin says both sides are to blame, but you say only one side, yet you agree with Malkin.

And then you say we’re intellectually bankrupt?

 
 

Hey Michelle, baby. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Feste, professional pork plumber. Got a nasty pork clog? No problem, sweetcheeks. I’ll just pull out my handy pork snake and we’ll have you all fixed up and smiling in no time.

Did I mention that I have my own technique? Oh yeah baby, I’m quite unique. We’ll just jam that porksnake into the obstruction and then a little up-on-the-backstroke to start the seduction. You don’t gotta be no kind of genius to make the deduction, Feste’s magic pork snake means pork clog destruction.

 
 

In an astounding example of Jungian synchronicity, the tech platform Republicans have chosen to launch their ‘Net wars is apparently, Twitter, which has a 140 character limit.

And somehow I don’t think they need any more than that.

 
 

…spanned the sunny Santa Monica pier to the icy streets of Chicago and Cleveland to rain-drenched Atlanta…

Christ, where’s Woody Guthrie when you need him?

 
 

Feste: You are of course free to say whatever you want. I believe in free speech. But QUITE FRANKLY I find it fascinating when those who evince beliefs in sensitivity toward women choose to resort to the crassest of vulgarities when discussing any woman who fails their half-assed ideological litmus test. A dear friend of mine (a very smart woman) says it reminds her of frat boys who think it’s okay if they’re only verbally abusive to townies they pick up but treat their “respectable” girlfriends respectably.

 
 

Can’t they focus their efforts on something meaningful, like, say, primary-ing Snowe, Collins, and Specter? Shhh, don’t tell them that it would probably result in the election of Democrats.

 
 

white knight:

hmmm. You don’t sound like a stoopid punk bitch. But you share some of the same characteristics, i.e stoopidity and bitchiness. But your rap sounds more goober than punk, so you’re kind of outta place here on this web site for stoopid punk bitchiz and the clowns who school them.

 
 

“Your mortgage is not my problem”

Apparently the economy would disagree.

Do they really believe we’re a nation of sovereign individuals?

 
 

when is the last time you saw a prominent liberal admit that Obama was anything but the 2nd coming of Christ?

When’s the last time you saw Rush Limbaugh expel rainbows from his ass?

When’s the last time you saw deez nutz?

When’s the last time florf noogle splort?

 
 

Feste:

LOL (Laughing Out Loud!) you “took me to school” with your internetty spelling and your hilarious irreverence! I suppose the only proper reply would be something from Jay Z’s “Super Ugly” or Nas’s “Ether”, or perhaps a line from one of those sophisticated cartoons you kids spend your lonesome evenings watching.
Oddly, my perception of this place has always been “circlejerk for the indolent and self-satisfied in which funny things are rarely, but sometimes, said”. I mock you because everybody looks silly in a circlejerk no matter how seriously they’re taking it or how often they tell each other what a good job they’re doing.

 
 

when is the last time you saw a prominent liberal admit that Obama was anything but the 2nd coming of Christ?

When’s the last time *any* liberal made such a claim?

 
 

NC–I generally find Rush Limbaugh distasteful, especially now that a combination of lethargy, poor fashion sense and the personal slovenliness that so often accompanies addiction prevents him from even buttoning his jackets or putting on a necktie to appear in public.

 
 

Joe the plumber ain’t got nothin’ on me
He’s just some wingnut astroturf wannabe
Feste’s got the pork snake that makes the ladies contort
While Wurzeldouche can’t hit the clog cause his snake is too short
Malkin’s too busy blowing John Galt and Howard Rourke
Meanwhile Feste’s T.C.O.B. just snaking that pork

 
 

I mock you because everybody looks silly in a circlejerk

Solo masturbation, however, is the purest of virtues, apparently.

CONSERVATIVISM CANNOT JERK OFF, IT CAN ONLY BE JERKED OFF HRHBGHRHGHRHB

 
 

I thought it was conservatives who believed in the second coming?

 
 

Again, Feste, you return to that aggressive, ugly misogyny. Can you honestly not help yourself from trying to objectify and sexual degrade women who don’t meet your ideological standards? This is a trait sadly seen by shallow, angry thinkers on all sides.

 
the incredible whiteness of being
 

Women love, respect and admire me for my empathy, supportiveness and sensitivity to their needs. And if they don’t, I threaten to call their parole officers.

 
 

white knight said,

yada yada yada bitch moan snore snore snore

 
 

Great, our trolls are arguing with each other now.

 
 

Wow, the revisionism of our floundering right is something to behold. Suddenly Bush and his cronies are no longer the geniuses that saved us from terror, but horrible liberals who paved the way for our current socialist regime. They simply will not own the failures of the last eight years, will they?

 
 

It would be much more efficient to get all the treason-minded Southern white conservatives to pick a state, just one state, say, Alabama or Mississippi

Alaska, Alaska!

 
 

(Not because I wish ill on the poor Guamanians, but because it’s far away and small.)

 
 

Marvin, I, for one, am a Conservative of more traditional beliefs (not to be confused with the odious soi disant “trad cons”) and never had a lick of respect for George W. Bush. I agreed with some, but not all, of his economic policies but he was never a true Conservative.

 
 

Yup.. And I bet you were shouting that from the rooftops in 2003, weren’t you? Nice try.

 
 

OK, that’s enough troll-feeding. Unlike the right-wingers, I actually do have a job to go to. (Funny how they constantly say that, but post 10 times more than everybody else.)

 
the unbearable whiteness of being
 

I am such a great humanitarian that I am currently supporting a dozen indigent women, all of whom are currently tied up in my basement.

 
 

Great, our trolls are arguing with each other now.

I fail to see a problem with that.

 
 

she stops and looks up at the wall for a moment, scowls as though inspired, and writes, “a wake-up call for the earmark watchdogs,” or “a pork-laden ivory tower bailout,”

OMG this is like so totally important and everyone should think about THIS NOW. WAIT, A MEXICAN!

 
 

I know it’s easy to find unflattering photos of people, but that many shots of her with that precise expression on her face denotes a pattern.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Spending freeze NOW. It’s the only way out of the budget mess.

 
 

It would be much more efficient to get all the treason-minded Southern white conservatives to pick a state, just one state, say, Alabama or Mississippi

Saipan. They can all work in Tom Delay’s sweatshops.

 
 

Whitey, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not a liberal. Like you, I’m a troll, and everyone here hates me – almost as much as I hate women. Which is A LOT.

 
 

That last Feste comment was not made by the real Feste

So many people
wanna try to be me
But Feste’s no molesta
He’s just tryin’ to be free

Lots of jealous sadlynauts
be hatin’ his playin’
But they just stoopid punk bitchiz
if you know what I’m sayin’

 
 

That last comment did, however, accurately summarize my feelings towards women – ie, I really hate them.

 
 

Feste, formerly known as The Fool, is still a fool.

 
 

In an astounding example of Jungian synchronicity, the tech platform Republicans have chosen to launch their ‘Net wars is apparently, Twitter, which has a 140 character limit.

Heh, indeed

Let’s see: one, two, three … eleven. That fits in 140 chars. I think they could even shrink the limit to save some space.

 
 

Watch, during the next 2 years as every Republican you meet never actually voted for Dubya, and didn’t like him either.

 
 

Don’t forget that I’m a flaming misogynist bag of shit, too! Even that dumbass Whitey had me pegged on that one.

 
 

No, no bro
you got it all wrong
Feste’s a lover, not a hater
just a-hittin his bong

Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock
They’re the kings of comedy
We all just out there bein’ funny
it ain’t about misogyny

But you already knew that
didn’t you, snitch?
cause you ain’t nothin’
but a stoopid punk bitch

 
 

Strong, is the fear, in this one.

Hmm?

 
 

Of course, when I say I’m a “lover”, I mean “I love hating women”.

Hey, did I just compare myself to Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock? Wow – I really am a total fucking douche!

 
 

The best part of the pork chorus is the pork solo on my pork piccolo.

 
 

Hey, any female posters here wanna fuck me? Y’know, because I love women so much and all. Plus, I’m classy and absolutely hilarious!

 
 

Call me The Fool, call me Feste
Call me whatever you see fit
I’d rather be a witty Fool
than a foolish wit who’s full of shit

 
 

Wow, somebody’s really bored.

 
 

This thread started with Roy Edroso in comment #3, and now look where it is. That’s the evolution chart in reverse, skipping all of the half-upright guys in the middle.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I only voted for Bush because Gore and Kerry were much worse.

He was a moderate not a conservative, a real conservative wouldn’t have spent so much or enacted more regulations than any President since Carter.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail FAIL
 

I liked the war, though, with all the American troops dying and stuff. That was cool.

 
Shut up, that's who
 

Remind me again why the Repugs listen to anything this anchor baby has to say?

Ok. Shut up, that’s why.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

More brilliant work, Gavin. I can’t believe I get quality this high for free.

Also, if I didn’t already have a nym I’d go with “Open Cahoots.”

 
 

This nym is currently available.

 
Rusty "Open Cahoots" Shackleford
 

I’m gonna squat for a while

 
 

The right-wing think tank
had a bunch of grants in it the last time I looked
so easy
and so lucrative.

 
 

So if some clueless winger “goes Galt” and stops working so hard, doesn’t that mean that some more ambitious competitor will pick up their business. If I called a plumber and he said “sorry, not taking on any more customers so I don’t have to pay an extra 4 cents on every dollar over $250,000” I’d just call another plumber and say “screw you jack” to the first one. How, exactly, is this anything except some idiot RWers shooting themselves in the foot?

 
 

How, exactly, is this anything except some idiot RWers shooting themselves in the foot?

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 
 

All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with.

 
 

Real quick — why do conservatives think they’re pioneers for going to Twitter? They do know Barack Obama has the most followers of anyone ON Twitter, right?

 
 

Dost thou call me fool, boy?

Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech

 
 

Forsooth, a pox on ye whorish maidens! Jezebels all!

 
 

Having just taken another glance at Ms. Geller, I have to concede that at least Malkin’s face looks like human skin.

 
 

Having just taken another glance at Ms. Geller, I have to concede that at least Malkin’s face looks like human skin.

So you’re saying large mouth bass have more human skin than gila monsters?

OK, I can go with that.

 
 

I have to concede that at least Malkin’s face looks like human skin.

It is. She’s a big Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan.

 
Pam Geller Oshry
 

I am in frequent telephone contact with Michelle Malkin. I usually order the Moo Goo Gai Pan.

 
Rusty "Open Cahoots" Shackleford
 

Having just taken another glance at Ms. Geller, I have to concede that at least Malkin’s face looks like human skin.

But whose, one wonders.

 
Rusty "Open Cahoots" Shackleford
 

kiki beat me all to heck

 
 

If I called a plumber and he said “sorry, not taking on any more customers so I don’t have to pay an extra 4 cents on every dollar over $250,000? I’d just call another plumber and say “screw you jack” to the first one. How, exactly, is this anything except some idiot RWers shooting themselves in the foot?

Sounds suspiciously like communist-friendly job-sharing programs.

 
 

Fool. Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars
are no moe than seven is a pretty reason. 910

Lear. Because they are not eight?

Fool. Yes indeed. Thou wouldst make a good fool.

 
 

The Don’t Go Movement is massive. Massive!

 
 

Still more tired nonsense
That Faux Feste done wrote
Has got me thinkin’
He’s a johnny one-note

Faux Feste ain’t got nothin’ of his own to say
Except hatin’ on those who love to play
The Real Feste’s busy
carving out a niche
While Faux Feste ain’t nothing…
but a stoopid punk bitch

 
Rusty "Open Cahoots" Shackleford
 

Having just taken another glance at Ms. Geller, I have to concede that at least Malkin’s face looks like human skin.

This one goes out to Stalkin Malkin

 
 

Sounds suspiciously like communist-friendly job-sharing programs.

Or even worse, wealth redistribution.

 
 

Sounds suspiciously like communist-friendly job-sharing programs.

In Russia, you don’t share job. Job share you.

 
 

a pork-laden ivory tower

Well, it IS the other white meat I hear.

 
Rusty "Open Cahoots" Shackleford
 

The tea for the tea parties is being donated. What would John Galt say?

 
 

a pork-laden ivory tower

How phallic. Perhaps all Ms Malkin needs is to get some.

 
 

Spending freeze NOW. It’s the only way out of the budget mess.

23 skidoo!

 
 

At the risk of someone else having thought of it first: Madame Malkin looks like an ad for constipation. Give the poor thing some Ex-Lax.

Nice chronology of the Republican implosion since the Obama Inauguration, Gavin.

 
 

Aren’t “tea parties” a bit, uh, dainty (ifunowuddimean) for the ubermacho neocon types? Are they going to be sitting around sipping Earl Gray and eating ladyfingers with their pinkies all sticking out?

That is so cute!

 
The Authentic Truth Before His Dishonor
 

But QUITE FRANKLY I find it fascinating when those who evince beliefs in sensitivity toward women choose to resort to the crassest of vulgarities when discussing any woman who fails their half-assed ideological litmus test.

Has he spotted Feste was quoting his postings under one of his other nyms here back at him yet?

You know, that “On the upstroke” bit that he lectured us all for hours about, claiming to be able to satisfy any woman in a fantastic display of false bravado, self unaware ignorance and biological impossibility?

Has we woken up to just how much White Knight, who takes his name from his claims to save poor women on his (ahahah) magnificent charger of misogyny, is having his own chauvinistic assumptions parodied back at him so he can act all enraged because a liberal said it yet?

Sorry to spoil the joke and all that… But OCD Troll, have you realised just how much you’ve been *ahem* pwned yet?

 
 

If I called a plumber and he said “sorry, not taking on any more customers so I don’t have to pay an extra 4 cents on every dollar over $250,000? I’d just call another plumber and say “screw you jack” to the first one. How, exactly, is this anything except some idiot RWers shooting themselves in the foot?

Sounds suspiciously like communist-friendly job-sharing programs.

That’s what I’ve been saying. If the “Tiger-nut” types who claim to make $750,000 per year and work 100 hours a week “go Galt”, doesn’t that mean that they can be replaced by three people working 33 hours a week and making $250,000 a year?

Unemployment problem solved!

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Remind me again why the Repugs listen to anything this anchor baby has to say?

Because they know it’s stuff they agree with before she ever says anything.

 
 

Authentic Truth:

To the extent that I can parse out your vague references, which is not great, I think you are very confused.

 
 

They simply will not own the failures of the last eight years, will they?

Eight? Try forty.

The Don’t Go Movement is massive. Massive!

Sounds painful. Hand them some prunes.

 
 

These “Tea Party” protests spanned the sunny Santa Monica pier to the

Um…I think that guy must have been on lunch break when I was there.

 
 

The world will be such a better place once the Galters have gone a Galting, and the Rapture Fans get Rapturized.

I can’t wait!!!!1

What more can we faggyislamonamblaabortionistas do to help speed the process along?

 
 

Now is the winter of our Malkin tent!

Oh the Malkinface. A hands-free Goatse with teeth. The perfect window into her intellectual soul – Goebbels would be proud to see one of his spiritual heirs angrily denying what anybody with a laptop & five minutes can discover … & getting paid for it.

Watch, during the next 2 years as every Republican you meet never actually voted for Dubya, and didn’t like him either.

Nobody loves you when you’re down & out … or in this case, rich & hiding in some gated community in Houston. They didn’t even wait until he was gone, either – he didn’t exactly shine like a supernova out on the campaign trail last fall, although McCain WAS stupid enough to put Cheney up on stage to shill for him at one point.

Funnily enough, if Bush could run for a third term, the same day he announced his intention to do so they’d go back to tongue-swabbing his taint without so much as blinking – such are the wonders of being a Real American. Fortunately, the Memory Hole appears bottomless – & it looks like it’ll have to be. Most awesome spontaneous epidemic of useful amnesia since 1946!

 
 

The camel in the sinkhole is the canary in a coal mine of liberal fascism.

 
 

This camel in the sinkhole — he is on the gravy train.

Going off of the rails.

 
 

These “Tea Party” protests spanned the sunny Santa Monica pier to the….

Nope, I couldn’t find much in the local paper:

Search word “protest”

Nothing here either.

Oh, well there was this, maybe the octopus was protesting the stimulus package.

 
 

to rain-drenched Atlanta

Clear evidence they’re making it up. Atlanta hasn’t been “rain-drenched” in years. We’re so parched that the water cops will bust you if they catch you using an unattended sprinkler in your yard.

Fact.

http://www.atlantawatershed.org/WaterRestrictions.htm

 
 

The camel’s back has been broken by the pork rails on which the coalmine canary travels to the ivory tower sinkhole via gravy train.

 
 

QUITE FRANKLY, when is the last time you saw a prominent liberal admit that Obama was anything but the 2nd coming of Christ?

when is the last time you saw anyone other than a right-wing nutcase claim Obama was said to be the 2nd coming of Christ?

Please cite any liberal ever getting even metaphorically close to that – you can’t.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

“It would be much more efficient to get all the treason-minded Southern white conservatives to pick a state, just one state, say, Alabama or Mississippi…”

New Mexico, New Mexico! I flew over it (Southwest) and it looked horrible-er than the Moon.

We can invite the Palestinians to come live in one of the nicer southern states.

 
 

Or even worse, wealth redistribution.

sounds like a plan to me!

 
 

She’s got that look on her face because someone forgot to clean out Jesse’s littlebox again.

 
 

Litterbox, even.

 
 

Oddly, my perception of this place has always been “circlejerk for the indolent and self-satisfied in which funny things are rarely, but sometimes, said”. I mock you because everybody looks silly in a circlejerk no matter how seriously they’re taking it or how often they tell each other what a good job they’re doing.

And then, there is the role of the thankless concern troll, doomed to forever stand athwart the circle jerk, yelling stop.

 
Martinvanburenfan
 

Those conservatives, way ahead of the curve on everything. That’s why they’re conservative.

 
 

And then, there is the role of the thankless concern troll, doomed to forever stand athwart the circle jerk, yelling stop.

SKEET SKEET SKEET

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Every single day the economy falls further and further into a hole and Hopey and his tax cheat Treasury Secretary (who can’t even staff his own department, LOL!) are clueless as to what to do.

Down down down we go…….when will the bottom hit?

 
This Is Just To Say That The Goddamn Batman Had A Prune Danish, So Sweet And So Warm
 

See, they all like to think that they’re the tip of a mighty iceberg and all their enemies are aboard the Titanic, steaming straight for it.

 
 

And then, there is the role of the thankless concern troll, doomed to forever stand athwart the circle jerk, yelling stop.

And all he’s got to show for it is a lousy pearl necklace.

 
 

New Mexico, New Mexico! I flew over it (Southwest) and it looked horrible-er than the Moon.

Nicer than most of Texas.

 
 

Down down down we go…….when will the bottom hit?

Do you trolls even check the markets before you post?

DOW
6856.56
+309.51
+4.73%

NASDAQ
1344.26
+75.62
+5.96%

S&P 500
713.7
+37.17
+5.49%

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

A short uptick in the Obama Recess/Obama Bear Market.

This recession will last a long, long time and Hopey knows it.

Like I said, it’s best to invest in gold and silver.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

We’ll be lucky if the USA isn’t bankrupt by early next decade.

 
The Authentic Truth Before His Dishonor
 

Oddly….

White Knight of course, having only turned up a week or two at most does seem to claim he’s “always” had an opinion of people here; Indeed, he’s setting himself up as a bit of a *ahem* Comedy Arbiter for Sadly, No! isn’t he? And all that in such a short space of time!

But it’s not The Truth again. No, really it’s not. And he certainly isn’t name-stealing and trying to sow confusion by posting in exactly the same grammatically and logically incoherant style under all those different names. He certainly hasn’t been doing that since he used to post at Eschaton nearly 8 years ago now. Or doing it here just the other day in fact.

No, really… it’s absolutely not the same old angry, hateful racist obsessive The Truth again. It’s someone else who can’t make any sense out of the sentence stating ‘ “On The Upstroke” is a quote from someone else…’

 
Knights in White Satin
 

I was expecting a stronger defense of New Mexico! ‘course, I live in Nevada which is pretty grim in places. Mostly, I like the desert.

 
 

OK, call me Rand Illiterate and all (which I don’t really consider a big loss), but what is it with conservatives right now and this John Galt character? Moreover, what’s with extremely bad writing about John Galt? I’m glad you brought that up, it’s really bugging me…

 
 

A short uptick in the Obama Recess/Obama Bear Market.

That’d be the Bush Recession/Bush Job Elimination/Bush Bear Market. Losses during the Bush Administration were 4x the size of the losses so far during the Obama Administration.

Once Mark-To-Market has been instituted, we shall all get to have a look at the cards that Wall Street is holding. And that won’t be something that can be blamed on President Obama.

This recession will last a long, long time and Hopey knows it.

Anyone with serious arguments to make doesn’t use silly names like “Hopey.” They say things like “President Bush” and “President Obama.” Thanks for letting me know not to pay any further attention to you.

Like I said, it’s best to invest in gold and silver.

Whatever you say, Mr. Cramer. Your advice to hold onto Bear Stearns was as good as gold.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Yes, Cramer. Funny how BHO and his useful idiots (Stewart) launch vicious attacks on anyone who dare criticize them–even a major Democrat donor like Cramer!

And people joked about “Liberal Fascism”…

 
 

I was expecting a stronger defense of New Mexico!

It is also better than the Dakotas.

 
 

Via Lex:

Without these people, even the small technological advances required by Marxist and Socialist societies would not occur.

Who, pray tell, was the first man to orbit the Earth?

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Stewart used to attack the former President.

Now he viciously slimes critics of the current President.

So much for “truth to power”.

 
 

We just polled our membership and found that only 3 people voted for George W. Bush.

Thus, it was Democratic vote fraud that put the flaming Liberal George Bush into office in both 2000 and 2004.

You STUPID LIEBRULS!

 
 

Great moments in Rush Limbaugh hypocrisy:

“”I’m surprised by nothing when I’m dealing with people in the media who think they’re in politics. “

 
 

From a comment on the article Lex linked:

I used to be a very successful writer. Now I’m storing food and trying to learn how to make candles.

K, Central Fl Feb 02, 2009 @ 08:20 AM

Isn’t that just DELICIOUS? No doubt K in Central Fl will really be burning the midnight oil in crafting the Great American Novel.

 
 

launch vicious attacks on anyone who dare criticize them

If by “daring to criticize” means you show video of them them lying shamelessly, yeah.

 
 

“”I’m surprised by nothing when I’m dealing with people in the media who think they’re in politics. “

Can a Slimfast endorsement be far behind?

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I thought Stewart always whined that he was just “attacking those in power”.

Obama is in power, not Cramer.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Doesn’t it have a chilling effect on free speech whenever somebody who speaks out against Dear Leader (Limbaugh, Cramer, Santelli) is subjected to a White House coordinated smear campaign?

 
 

I also liked

What is the cost of the distraction of our real leaders — of the men of the mind — of the John Galts among us? I estimate that it is greater than the trillions of dollars being lost on government printing presses. Call this Y2009K — and this time it is very real.

What is the cost of these guys who are not really John Galt at all as I wrote earlier? The true question is how much my ass can hold that I may pull a really large answer from it. And make no mistake: my ass holds a large answer. Also: name this fantasy ass-baby after the greatest non-crisis ever and THAT will drive my point home.

 
Jim Cramer is wrong, wrong, WRONG
 

Buy Bear Stearns stock! Please! Pwetty pweese! It’s only gonna get bigger and bigger! I’m sure that this tape of me will never, ever be used against me, never ever!

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

You could easily find a video of Stewart smugly saying the Surge would never work, too.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

You guys are also smearing one of your biggest six figure donors, lol.

Dumbasses.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Didn’t it have a chilling effect on free speech from 2000 to 2008 whenever somebody spoke out against Dear Leader (Liberals, sane people, “Old Europe”, Daschle, etc) s subjected to a White House coordinated smear campaign or an anonymous anthrax mailing?

 
 

circlejerk for the indolent and self-satisfied

Indolent, yes, but I’d say my humor needs are often met by other participants, so “daisy chain for the indolent” would be more apt. Behold the self-correcting bog-o-sphere!

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

You could easily find a video of many, many Republicans smugly saying the economy was just fine and dandy, too.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

So why is Stewart attacking two-bit media pundits instead of the President, like he did under Bush?

 
 

Y2009K

2009000?

 
 

The Don’t Go Movement is massive. Massive!

Yet despite the massive size of their movement they don’t have the ability to debunk the mother of all “I’m going John Galt” declarations. The letter itself is long (imagine a much more cranky Tigerhawk) so I’m not going to cut and paste it here but here’s the DontGo guy’s intro to it:

A letter from the BOSS

This e-mail was posted in the Tax Day Tea Party Facebook Group. I haven’t been able to verify its authenticity, but at this point I don’t think that point is anywhere near as relevant as the message contained within the letter itself.

The letter was allegedly written by Michael Margolis of Maric Capital Fund, L.P. If anyone can verify this and get back to me I would greatly appreciate it.

But like I said, the letter in and of itself is says exactly what we’ve all been saying. And the message is a perfect description of WHY the Tea Party Movement is gaining significant traction across the country.

Another accurate and very meaningful even if it’s fake situation. I love that he’s unable to debunk it even though the guy who allegedly wrote it left his phone # and email address at the bottom of it. Some since disappeared MySpace user was more enterprising and got an answer:

No, I did not write the letter. I saw the letter and forwarded the letter to friends. Unfortunately, my signature appears at the bottom of my e-mails which makes it appear as if I wrote the letter – an oversight.

It looks like the wingnuts will have to keep looking for a real John Galt. I guess if the DontGo guy follows the referrals to his site from here he’ll find out if it’s real but considering his Jonah Goldberg like research methods he might be too lazy to even do that. Which is good because I hope this letter spreads some more. Or maybe not because the letter is now all over the wingnutosphere with the guy’s contact info.

 
 

The K stands for KILL.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I thought Republicans were the ones who voted, and loved, George Bush. It turns out that it was the LIEBRULS who were backing him all along, since they knew he would destroy the economy, and that is what he did.

You learn something new every day!

 
Troofus is going nuts, nuts, NUTS
 

Meds. Get some.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

So why is Rush attacking the President, instead of the two-bit media pundits, like he did under Bush?

 
 

Another self-proclaimed writer from Florida (Wild Willy, Feb 13, 2009 @ 12:22 AM):

The less I contribute to the Government Protection Racquet the happier I am.

Also from the comments to the Human Events essay Lex links.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Rush used to attack Liberals, and spew love (as well as bodily fluids) upon the visage of Dubya.

Now he viciously slimes the current President.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Rush never claims to be non-partisan.

Stewart always said “Oh I’m not partisan, I’m just speaking truth to power!”

Yeah, right.

 
Republican Spelling Standards
 

“The less I contribute to the Government Protection Racquet the happier I am.”

Don’t give me any of that fancy pants Elitist spelling error crap. We Republicans spell words the way us common folk want to. Who the hell cares about spelling when there is so much America-hatin’ to do!

 
 

You could easily find a video of Stewart smugly saying the Surge would never work, too.

Do it.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Rush never claims to be non-partisan, at least when he isn’t saying he’s “not carrying water for the republicans any more”, like he did in 1996, 2005, and 2009.

 
 

To: David from Florida

Which of Ayn Rand’s ideas do you object with?

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I want Malcolm Obamafascist X to fail since I never forgave America for beating the Holy Confederacy and St. Jeff Davis.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Negroes were happier when they were slaves.

A number of my many, many black friends told me that.

 
 

Jim Cramer is a hedge fund manager with a national television show. That doesn’t exactly scream “weak and downtrodden” to me.

 
 

That Galt article’s a goldmine. Also from comments check this creepy blog:

http://www.naturalfamilyblog.com/

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

He is certainly less powerful than the President of the United States, N.C., who i s using the full resources of the White House and liberal media to smear him.

Not only that, they’re smearing a HUGE Democrat Party donor.

We’ll be happy to take Cramer’s money for the RNC.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Can a penis actually be concave?

I’m asking for, umm, a friend.

 
 

The members of that Facebook group may be getting wind of its likely fakeness but the discussion follows form:

“Doofus # 1”: That is an excellent letter. Maybe something like this could help the opposition to see what is at stake.

“Doofus # 2”: I called the number to authenticate.

“Doofus # 1”: Unfortunately, I’m skeptical of the authenticity. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the message doesn’t accurately reflect the thoughts of many business owners..

(Not their real names)

 
 

Thanks, Lawnguylander.

 
 

Jon Stewart is the president?

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Have I told you fellows how much I adore Barbra Streisands’ singing? Not so much her politics, but her voice is GOLDEN!

I also love Bette Midler. FABBBBBUUUULLLLLOUS!

 
 

Just to be clear, that would be thanks, Lawnguylander, for looking into the Boss letter.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

“Jon Stewart is the president?”

No, but he’s willingly acting as the President’s hatchet man, going after anyone who criticizes Dear Leader.

That takes SO much courage I bet! Way to speak “truth to power” Jon! /sarcasm

Douchebag.

 
 

I wanna know why earmarks put in by politicos that don’t vote for the bill are paid attention to…

 
 

He’s going after people that criticise Mao Tse-Tung?

Well, huh, whatever lets him get his kicks, I guess.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I hate Jon Stewart! Why can’t such a funny, smart guy be a Republican?

Wait a minute, I think I just answered my own question. Ooops.

 
 

My Right-Wing Dad posted that “Letter from the Boss” in January of this year.

 
 

Doesn’t it have a chilling effect on free speech whenever somebody who speaks out against Dear Leader (Joe Wilson) is subjected to a White House coordinated smear campaign?

The FixZ0red is in.

 
 

Can anyone find the original comment made by David from Florida at Human Events? It looks to me like it’s been removed.

 
 

Is this guy on autopost?

 
 

Jim Cramer is a hedge fund manager with a national television show. That doesn’t exactly scream “weak and downtrodden” to me.

So’s Larry Kudlow when he’s not jonesing for a noseful of coke.

 
 

Why, there’s the lilting strains of the Castrato Pork Chorus now:

You could easily find a video of Stewart smugly saying the Surge would never work, too.

Never mind that this statement is utter bullshit – but no, the Sacred Surge didn’t work. Period.

What DID work was keeping more soldiers on-base or away from hot-spots, while distributing payola to the various urban militias not to blow Americans, each other & everyone around them to bits. No payola, no decline in US casualties. Bush could’ve just cut the checks, left the damn troops at home & gotten about the same result – but then his butt-buddies at SAIC & Halliburton wouldn’t’ve made any blood-money.

“Teh Surge Is Working!!!11!1!”

FAIL

 
 

“So’s Larry Kudlow when he’s not jonesing for a noseful of coke.”

Where’s he get it? I’ve been known to “do a little blow”.

 
 

It must have been something I ate. I’ve been going John Galt all morning.

 
 

Where’s he get it? I’ve been known to “do a little blow”.

Evidence?

 
 

Read my book, moron.

 
 

If you’re going to worship me you should at least read my two autobiographies!

TWO! And I’m 47 years old.

Am I full of it or what?

 
Appalachian State is hot, hot, HOT
 

Shalom, gentlemen.

 
 

Read my book, moron.

Evidence, please.

Replying with “moron” is not evidence.

 
PeeJ's confused conservative alter ego
 

DOW up 5% Obama is obviously a failure.

 
"The Audacity of Hope"
 

I’m not an autobiography.

 
 

Stewart always said “Oh I’m not partisan, I’m just speaking truth to power!”

Actually he doesn’t say he’s speaking truth to power. He says he’s making fun of any hypocrisy in the media. Equal opportunity.

As in a powerful media network, AKA CNBC. You know, the Liberal Media. you remember them, right? what’s so bad about making fun of the supposed Liberal Media?

 
Ignorant Liberal is Ignorant
 

In the book, Obama acknowledges that he used cocaine as a high school student but rejected heroin. “Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though,” he says.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/02/AR2007010201359_pf.html

 
 

J—,

You’re welcome but we all owe you.

Regarding that company donating its tea to the movement, the protesters aren’t going to be brewing it up on hotplates at their parties so they can enjoy it are they? Isn’t the idea to dump it out or abuse it in some other fashion? Is this really the best marketing message? To say your product is just the thing when you need something to symbolically waste?

 
PeeJ's confused conservative alter ego
 

And I’m 47 years old.

Evidence please. Nothing but the vault copy will suffice.

 
Confused Liberal
 

I thought the Dow didn’t matter?

WHERE ARE MY TALKING POINTS!?

 
 

Whining Troll is Whining bleated:

Obama acknowledges that he used cocaine as a high school student but rejected heroin.

Which is still better than a dry drunk who didn’t get cleaned up until nearly middle age. And who presided over a 42% drop in the DJIA.

 
 

crowds of several hundred each in New York City and Washington, D.C., and all points in between.

let’s be charitable
several hundred = 700
NY, DC and all points in between = 1 big city on each state = 50

700 x 50 = 35,000 protesters

I wouldn’t call that a “massive success”…

ok let’s say 2 cities on each state
= 70,000 protesters

That is the line for the restroom at the million dollar men march

ROFL…. The stupid.. it burns!!!

Even by their numbers they FAIL

 
Confused Conservative
 

OMG! Bush’s policies are driving the Dow to ever greater heights! And jobs are being created!

Wait, WHAT?

 
 

“So’s Larry Kudlow when he’s not jonesing for a noseful of coke.”

Where’s he get it? I’ve been known to “blow a little [Domincan boy]”

 
Uemployment Rate
 

I’ve skyrocketed since election day.

 
The English Fucking Language
 

I thought the Dow didn’t …

Satire FAIL.

 
The Credit Market
 

I’m as tight as ever, and will cut off any temporary rally in the Dow at its knees.

But don’t worry, TIM GEITHNER is on the job.

Ha. Ahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 
The English Fucking Language
 

Uemployment [sic] Rate

Sky rockets in flight …

 
 

Oh the wingnuts had a tea party
a wonderful time was had by all
just be careful when you dip your bag
that you don’t singe a ball

 
Bank of America
 

I’ve gotten $45 billion in bailouts, but my market cap is under $20 billion. (belch)

And don’t you DARE try to renegotiate your mortgage.

 
The English Fucking Language
 

Which is still better than a dry drunk who didn’t get cleaned up until nearly middle age.

And better still than some fat draft-dodger who shopped around for both doctors AND banks in order to feed his hillbilly heroin habit until it burned out his hearing.

 
Confused Republican
 

Carter caused the downturn during his term.

Raygun caused the boom during his term.

Carter caused the downturn during Bush I’s term.

Raygun caused the boom during Clinton’s term.

Clinton caused the downturn during the first Bush II term.

Obama caused the downturn during the second Bush II term.

Obma caused the downturn during the Obama term.

Can I have a cookie now?

 
 

I know how to fix the current economic mess! We’ll just have everybody wear button that says WIN. We did this during my term in office to fix the recession caused by LBJ.

It is very interesting how LBJ caused the downturn under me, and yet Carter is at fault for the downturn under him.

Must be that Fuzzy Math.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Nixon and Ford were liberals in domestic policy. Nixon could even be considered to be to the left of Clinton (wage and price controls!)

 
 

It is Obama’s fault.

It has always been Obama’s fault.

We have NOTHING to do with the economy, except when it succeeds.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I always love Republicans when they are in power, but I hate them when their failures appear.

Also, my many Negro friends agree that the South should rise again!

 
The Latin fucking language
 

Everyone hates me, and I’m their father!!!!!!!

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I hate whoever my FDA* tells me to.

* Favorite Drug Addict, AKA “The Dittomaster”

 
Malfunctioning GOP Orthodoxy
 

Nixon and Ford were liberals, SPARKSIZZLECRACKLE

 
 

Sadly, I found that Galt article linked over at LGF2 where it seems to be being lauded. All I need to know about Atlas Shrugged is that Pamela named her blog after it. That’s all I need to know to know to stay away from the damned thing. That and the droves of assholes in college who justified their assholery by quoting Ayn Rand. Always made me just stay away.

Ugh….I’m far too sick to be reading that crap….

 
 

Is this guy on autopost?

I’m wondering when he’ll be officially classifiable as spam, so the proprietors can get the hell rid of him.

 
 

Too much conjugation was always your problem!!! You never did anything for us. Who the hell cares about what ex libris means!!!

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I have never stopped hating America since she killed St. J.W. Booth or St. L. H. Oswald.

 
 

The Latin language I mean

 
 

Who the hell cares about what ex libris means!!!

Okay, but imprimatur is one of best words ever.

 
 

George W. Bush was a Liberal. He has ALWAYS been a Liberal. We were just joking when we pledged undying love to him.

 
 

Who the hell cares about what ex libris means!!!

Shut up or get the hell out of the library, that’s what.

 
 

Too much conjugation was always your problem!!!

Sexy!

 
 

I’ve been mentioned on telly!1!

 
Fucking the English Linguage
 

Concerned conservaties is getting virtually angry at you liebral attacks.

 
 

Not all of us are drug addicts, hate-filled America haters, or pedophiles even though those groups usually seem to be the overwhelming majority.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

Remember, if Obama succeeds it will be because of Dubya, whom I hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate love hate.

 
 

Remember all that talk about not playing the “Blame Game” back when we were in charge of screwups? Yeah, us neither.

 
 

This thread has been so epic that Wally Cleaver has made an appearance. Libs, I think our work is done here.

 
 

So, is Michelle Malkin showing us her “oh” face, or is she trying to keep old age and infirmity at by by scaring the living shit out of them? You decide.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

So, is Michelle Malkin showing us her “oh” face, or is she trying to keep old age and infirmity at by by scaring the living shit out of them? You decide.

I believe that is her “I can’t believe you just bukake’d me” face.

 
 

So, is Michelle Malkin showing us her “oh” face, or is she trying to keep old age and infirmity at by by scaring the living shit out of them? You decide.

It’s her Count Porkula face.

 
The Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot
 

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Fucking the English Linguage
 

We conservatives have a very unique presprective about you’re LIEbral machine nations. Obama has socialized the governments’ to the point of Europe but you LIEbrals refuse to listen to the straws blowing in the wind.

 
 

#

handy said,

March 10, 2009 at 20:15 (kill)

This thread has been so epic lame that Wally Cleaver has made an appearance. Libs Trolls, I think our your work is done here.

Maybe nit Fxxd, but more realistic.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

The South will rise again.

Bookmark it, liberals.

 
 

We conservatives have lots of principles, about which we make a big production.

From small government to federalism to holding down debt, to the rule of law and strict construction.

But you know we’ll quickly burn them all till there’s nothing left but ash

Cause in truth all we really care about is our stocks and bonds and cash

 
 

It’s her Count Porkula face.

It’s the only frosted bacon breakfast cereal endorsed by Rush Limbaugh!

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

It’s the only frosted bacon breakfast cereal illegal narcotic endorsed by Rush Limbaugh!

FIFY

 
 

The South will rise again.

Given that y’all can’t hardly even keep the Confederate Battle Flag flying, I don’t give y’all much chance for stirring up a good-ol’-boys’ revolt.

More likely, the only thing that’s gonna rise around you anytime soon is the hood of that broke-ass El Camino under the pecan tree in your front yard. Autozone called and said your new carburetor and Yosemite Sam mudflaps came in.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

With all you liebruls going on and on with your recipes, I bet some of you have other household tips to share.

Do any of you know how to get Cheetos stains our of underwear?

 
 

If Rock and Roll was a Rocket 88
Someone drive it into the ditch
Don’t look at me but I know whodunnit…
‘Twas a stoopid punk bitch

 
 

Do any of you know how to get Cheetos stains our of underwear?

Yes. Don’t put the cheetos in there in the first place.

 
 

Do any of you know how to get Cheetos stains our of underwear?

Club soda.

It doesn’t work, but it’s the closest you’ll come to having your dick stimulated.

 
 

I believe that is her “I can’t believe you just bukake’d me” face.

Tee hee. I enjoyed that.

“trying to put reverse English on the ping pong ball” face.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

I forget. Is Dubya a Liberal today, or a Conservative? Let’s see….

The market is up today, and that can’t be because of Obama (whom I hate more than anything), so it must be because of Dubya.

So, I guess Dubya is a Conservative today, and I love him. Whew, glad I figured that one out. I almost called him a Liberal!

 
 

Had I not heard actual Republican lawmakers say the same thing, I would have assumed the “we should have doubled down on the stupid” comments were pure parody.

Lack of regulation got us to this delightful meltdown, so the neocon answer: “Less regulation”!

A bottom heavy tax structure got us mired in war debt before the mortgages even started falling apart, so the neocon answer: “Tax cuts for the rich!”

Conservative strategy was put into full effect for 2000-2006. The result was disaster – a definitive demonstration that reality bitch slaps faith every time. The neocon answer: “Clap Harder!”

Tinkerbelle, she be dead.

 
PeeJ's confused conservative alter ego
 

PROOF that Bill Clinton caused the mortgage crisis.

May 15, 2005 L.A. Times

Based on existing investigations and mortgage fraud reporting, 80% of the fraud losses involve collaboration or collusion by industry insiders, the report concluded.

Dec 15, 2005 Washington Post

The federal government yesterday announced a crackdown on what officials called the “growing epidemic” of mortgage fraud, with organized rings of real estate operatives bilking consumers and lenders out of billions of dollars.
[…]
“It’s a pervasive problem, and it’s on the rise,” said Chris Swecker, assistant director of the FBI, as officials described investors and consumers drawn to the hot real estate market only to find themselves the prey of savvy criminals who use loopholes in lending practices to strip borrowers of their savings, in most cases also ruining their credit. Lenders are becoming victims as well, induced to make bad loans that will go into foreclosure. When the loans are insured by the Federal Housing Administration, taxpayers are on the hook for the losses.
[…]
Kenneth M. Donohue Sr., inspector general at HUD, said lending-industry executives need to do more “to police their own organizations.”

 
Chastity Pariah
 

“trying to put reverse English on the ping pong ball” face.

Well, that’s certainly vulgar.

 
 

This thread has become infested. Can we throw it out and get a new one?

 
 

Well, that’s certainly vulgar.

Oh really? As Ray Charles said “it all depends on where your mind is at”.

 
 

We want our TRUCK NUTZ and we want them NOW.

 
Obama will Fail, Fail, FAIL
 

CLITon only caused the current economic mess up to around mid 2006. After that it is ALL Obama’s fault.

 
 

I think that’s her harelip face.

Hey Michelle: after I snake your pork plug, you want to get some hair on your harelip? Well then ask actor212 because Feste does not practice his patented up-on-the-backstroke technique on Republicans or stoopid punk bitchiz.

 
 

I started to note “I wonder if Malkin is still getting wingnut welfare, now that Jamjam media is tanking”, but that makes me wonder: does she have a revenue stream over there? (I ain’t gonna look). Is there a subscription cheerleader channel?

 
gone over the edge Pete Seeger
 

♫♫♫
If I had a hammer
I’d hammer on your legs and knees
I’d bash all your brains out
All over this land
I’d shatter your braincase
I’d pummel out your livers
I’d hammer out conservative haters and you bigots
All over this land

 
 

Lil Pig, she writes a syndicated column. That and picking up deposit bottles is her main source of income.

Which is OK, because raising kids in an Objectivist family is cheap:

“Change your OWN fucking diaper, slacker!”

 
 

Asservating Arky said:
the DFHs only come out for the huge bags of pot and ghey sex

Wait a minute, I’ve gone to lots of marches and rallies for years, and never got more than a stray whiff of weed. WHERE IS MY POT and GHEY SEX???!!!

 
 

Lil Pig, she writes a syndicated column. That and picking up deposit bottles is her main source of income.

She was quoted about a year or so ago saying that she operated at or below break-even.

http://www.quasipreneur.com/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=1392

 
 

Like I said, it’s best to invest in gold and silver.

If there was only an open market for stoopid. You might be worth something in this world, finally.

 
 

OBG

That’s right. Jesse is an analyst for the Rand Corporation. I forgot about that.

So she gets wingnut welfare the old fashion way, and that’s why her lips are permanently puckered.

 
 

The camel’s back has been broken by the pork rails on which the coalmine canary travels to the ivory tower sinkhole via gravy train.
Good, but also needs “frogs being boiled slowly” in there somewhere.

 
 

If there was only an open market for stoopid. You might be worth something in this world, finally.

I have no idea why anyone would go long in commodities right now. I bet he’s got some gold stocks he’d like to sell you so he can get out ASAP.

 
 

Right now is as good a time as any to commodificate. That’s what Dick told me, heh heh. I couldn’t ask Karl for a second opinion cuz he accidentally got locked in a men’s room stall. That’s what he said, at least. That Turdblossom, heh heh!

 
 

I have no idea why anyone would go long in commodities right now.

You’re probably right. With a Democratic Congress and President, it probably makes sense to short stoopid and buy futures contracts for after 2016.

It’s an odd scenario in recent memory to have a contango like this, usually it’s a backwardation, but we need to strike while the dummy is hot.

The real trick will be to create a long CDO secured by teh stoopid and sell them to suckers Republicans.

 
 

If I responded to trolls, I would post a link to X doing “Delta 88″….

 
 

Right now is as good a time as any to commodificate.
Does this involve funging? Because I’m trying to give that up.

 
 

COMMODITIES ARE SOUND!!!

GO ALL IN ON COMMODITIES! NO CHANCE THEY WILL FALL!! PEOPLE WILL BE EATING GOLD AND DRINKING OIL!!!

IGNORE MY TRACK RECORD ON THE MARKET BECAUSE I’VE GOT A FUNNY SOUND EFFECT RIGHT HERE!! AH-OOOOGAH!!!

 
 

The real trick will be to create a long CDO secured by teh stoopid and sell them to Republicans.

I am intrigued by your business model and would like to invest in your hedge fund.

 
 

I guess Eric Odom isn’t following the referrals back to here because he’s on that Facebook page asking the group member I called Doofus # 2 if she’s authenticated it yet.

 
 

Signs sure to be seen at the next teabagging party.

Your drug resistant TB is not my problem.

Your raw sewage pouring into the creek is not my problem.

Your chickens roosting on your condo balcony are not my problem.

Your lawn with the grass waist high is not my problem.

Your speakers on the porch blaring out music at 110 decibels are not my problem.

Your pile of burning tires in your backyard is not my problem.

 
 

I am intrigued by your business model and would like to invest in your hedge fund.

Thanks. It’s main capital source is held in a Nigerian bank, and I need a little help in securing the monieys, which was left to me after the tragic death of a Nigerian prince who was my father, Ovatan Assiam, who owned a DC-based bank that was the recipient of many needed bailouts fund.

Could you wire transfer $5,000 and I will split the proceeds of eleventy trillion dolars with you?

 
 

@Zombie:

X doing Delta 88 huh?

Well, let’s give it a spin. I used to drive an Delta 88 so I give them some extra credit right off the bat. I will live blog it here in this comment while I listen to it. I know nothing about X and I’ve never heard the song. So here we go:

typical chord slamming intro and careless vocals

wankity, wankity, wankity

got no idea what the lyrics are but then again they don’t leave me dying to know

OK I understood a lyric — “Delta 88 Nightmare”. Nightmare? I loved my Delta 88. It was far from a nightmare. There’s a certain romance of the old American muscle cars that I guess X just doesn’t get.

Then a chick comes in with some chant-singing, just completely crappy singing

Then just a lot of repetition of the same lyrics that even they don’t seem to give a shit about.

This is exactly what I’m talking about when I say punk blows syphilitic donkey dick.

All and all, a really piss poor performance. Guitar sucked. Vocals sucked. Lyrics sucked.

So let’s see that’s suck+suck+suck = totally sucked.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“I know nothing about X music”

ftfy

 
 

Could you wire transfer $5,000 and I will split the proceeds of eleventy trillion dolars with you?

Better yet, I will bring a briefcase full of unmarked $1 bills! Meet me in Darfur!

 
 

@Johnny C:

I bet my band blows the doors off your band, assmunch

 
 

I know nothing about X

Didn’t need the rest of he post to catch on to that.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“I bet my band blows ”

ftfy

 
 

Just out of curiosity — from a totally anthropological perpective, just what in the hell do you stoopid punk bitchiz get out of a song like Delta 88?

I listen to, say, the Allman Brothers doing Whipping Post and I can go on and on about all the cool shit I’m responding to, but what in the world do you get out of Delta 88?

 
 

Johnny: agreed – I bet your band blows too

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

Billy Zoom would totally kick Duane Allman’s ass, that’s what.

 
 

Johnny – I’m sure that’s about the best argument you’ve got.

BTW: I just looked up a picture of Billy Zoom and I don’t think homeboy is kicking anybody’s ass, much less Duane. I would bet my entire net worth that Billy couldn’t begin to play almost anything of Duane’s while Duane could play anything of Billy’s — although he would, of course, have the good sense not to.

 
 

whipping post vs. Delta 88?

different worlds….

besides, I wasn’t talking to anybody but the usual suspects…. Matt T, Righteous Bub, OBG-K, et al…

Fester goes in the killfile….

 
 

Why does Jim Cramer give a shit about whippin post?

Mad money indeed….

 
 

Just out of curiosity — from a totally anthropological perpective, just what in the hell do you stoopid punk bitchiz get out of a song like Delta 88?

I listen to, say, the Allman Brothers doing Whipping Post and I can go on and on about all the cool shit I’m responding to, but what in the world do you get out of Delta 88?

If you don’t understand what other people get out of it, then why do you have to diss the musical tastes and preferences of others? And why do you have to call others “stoopid punk bitchiz?” Why don’t you just play what you like and stop with the stupid bullshit rock machismo about how your band’s so great and X sucks so hard?

Stop acting like an asshole and perhaps you won’t be treated like one.

 
 

@Cramer:

I’m just wondering what you wankers get out of someone banging simplistic, unimaginitive barre chords and chanting shitty lyrics that they don’t seem to care about for 1:36?

 
 

@ OB-GYN:

Spoken like a truly stoopid punk bitch.

 
 

Shrug.

I figured you wouldn’t have a good answer, troll.

PLONK.

 
 

Sometimes Feste really does feel like he’s been run down and lied to and tied to the whipping post, TIED to the whipping post, TIED to the whipping post…

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“Duane could play anything of Billy’s — although he would, of course, have the good sense not to.”

Nevermind Mr. Zoom: I guarantee that I can play guitar today far better than Duane Allman can.

 
 

Why does Jim Cramer give a shit about whippin post?

Don’t know, but it would be must-see* TV.

*When value of “see”=”miss”.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

I’m just wondering what you trolls get out of banging simplistic, unimaginative talking points and chanting shitty conservative logic that you don’t seem to care about for 24/7?

 
 

@Opie-Gyn

If you don’t understand what other people get out of it, then why do you have to diss the musical tastes and preferences of others?

Because while I don’t understand what they get out of punk, I do understand what people get out of almost every other genre you can name. As fas as I can tell the genre basically blows — musically. I can understand what people get out of it sociologically. But as near as I can tell, based on extensive field research, its got precious little to do with any musical values. And that’s why I diss it as music.

And why do you have to call others “stoopid punk bitchiz?”

I didn’t start the name calling around. Others did. I just went with the flow. Sorry it gets under your skin so bad.

Well, I lied. I’m not really sorry,

Why don’t you just play what you like and stop with the stupid bullshit rock machismo about how your band’s so great and X sucks so hard?

Because my band is great and X sucks so hard.

Stop acting like an asshole and perhaps you won’t be treated like one.

You must have forgot to type the part I would care about.

 
 

Nevermind Mr. Zoom: I guarantee that I can play guitar today far better than Duane Allman can.

But can you sing like Exene? That’s the real question here.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“Because my band is great and X sucks so hard.”

And that is why you are posting here and X had a successful musical career. Well, much more successful than you, at any rate.

 
 

I’m just wondering what you trolls get out of banging simplistic, unimaginative talking points and chanting shitty conservative logic that you don’t seem to care about for 24/7?

I always assumed it was because misery loves company.

 
 

Is Exene the chick in X?

Why would I want to sing like that? I can sing like Gregg Allman. Not AS good, mind you — I’m not claiming to be as good as the greatest white blues singer ever — but damn close.

Why would I want to sing like shit?

 
Fatal Overdose of Motorcycle
 

I loves me some Duane Allman.

 
 

Why would I want to sing like shit?

Must. Resist. Urge….

 
 

I loves me some Duane Allman.

I LOLd.

 
 

actor212:

I’m just admiring your ironic postmodern pastiche. Well done, sir. When accused of being unimaginitive, Mr. Actor212 simply parrots what he has just heard, confirming that he is as every bit as unimaginitive as his stoopid punk bitch heroes. Apparently actor 212 finds the “No, YOU are” response just as clever as can be.

 
 

Listen, Afterbirth, you re-started this. Sorry about your damned luck.

 
 

Zombie,

Yea, I caught that too. It just made it that much harder to resist.

 
 

Feste was blogging over at Sadly, No
Telling the stoopid punk bitchiz just how hard their music blows
They blew and they blew and they blew some more
But in defense of punk shite they just couldn’t score

They named Delta 88 as their champion
Representing the very best that the punk bitch has to spin
So Feste gave a listen, he was willing to be swayed
But the shitty punk music just didn’t make the grade

The stoopid punk bitchiz called Feste names and whined
But they couldn’t explain what it is they find
That makes punk more than just a pile of steamin’ shit
that ain’t worth more than a bucket of spit

 
 

hey actor and zombie: are you musical racists? just askin’

 
 

The Fool’s next big hit:

I’m a bad blues player, bad as I can be.
I’m a bad blues player, bad as I can be.
I can’t keep up with the beat….
… But I like it.

I’m a bad blues player, bad as I can be.
I’m a bad blues player, bad as I can be.
I can’t keep up with the beat….
… But I like it.

I woke up this morning and the sun was gone.
Yeah I woke up this morning and the sun was gone.
Then I realised it was night…
… I’m a real son of a gun.

I’m a bad blues player
When I can’t keep up with the beat….

I’m a bad blues player moran
I’m a bad blues player, bad as I can be.
I can’t, I can’t

 
 

I think that a good show for some network that is not CNBC would be one where there’s a big board with the names of stocks and commodities and maybe a square that says “T bills” or something, and that chimp who threw rocks at his tormentors could throw different colored rocks at the board, and then the screen tells you to buy or sell that thing, depending on the color of the rock.

Then after three months you compare the chimp’s picks with those of the market experts.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

Feste, your taste in music is ossified shit. Duane Allman died in 1974, champ, and the best thing he ever did has Eric Clapton’s name on it (what, you think people think of Duane Allman when they hear Derek and the Dominoes? Please). You clearly have no understanding of contemporary (post 70s) music. You sing like Duane Allman, except not nearly as good? I’ll believe that. You sing like Duane Allman and play guitar like KD Lang.

 
 

actor:

No it would be more like this:

Now everybody talkin’ ’bout Feste and his huge love gun
In the whole wide world there is only one

And I’m the one, yeah I’m the one
Cause I’m unique, I’m unique
And you know I got my own technique

HeI can tell your future, it will come to pass
Up on the backstroke, make your old lady shake her ass
Look at the sky, predict the rain
He got a high IQ that drives actor insane

Cause I’m the one, yeah I’m the one
Feste’s the one, he’s the one
Don’t you know he packs a gatlin’ gun

He can talk these words that will sound so sweet
He can make your woman’s little heart skip a beat
Heal the sick, jam with the Dead
Got a patented technique that gets inside your lady’s head

And I’m the one, yeah I’m the one
Cause I’m unique, I’m unique
And you know I got my own technique

He tried to tell you bout punk music
How it sucks big dick
They can’t sing, they can’t play
Not a single lick

And I’m the one, yeah I’m the one
Cause I’m unique, I’m unique
And you know I got my own technique

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“And I’m the one, yeah I’m the one
Cause I’m unique, I’m unique
And you know I got my own technique”

That’s fucking awful. Really. Take it from a professional writer: You Suck.

 
 

Hey Little Johnny: Duane did a helluva lot more than just Layla and BTW that’s Duane’s signature riff no matter who the fuck’s name your ignorant ass thinks of.

I understand post-70’s music all too well.

 
 

Little Johnny:

LOL, sorry if the little ditty I wote in 2 minutes didn’t chart yet. LOL.

 
 

I think that a good show for some network that is not CNBC would be one where there’s a big board with the names of stocks and commodities and maybe a square that says “T bills” or something, and that chimp who threw rocks at his tormentors could throw different colored rocks at the board, and then the screen tells you to buy or sell that thing, depending on the color of the rock.

You obviously have never watched Jim Cramer’s program on CNBC.

 
 

BTW Little Johnny: just because your boss at the restaurant lets you write out the specials of the day on the chalk board, I don’t think that makes you a professional writer. lololol

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“I understand post-70’s music all too well.”

You finally said something funny.

Also, yeah, signature riff on a song that Eric Clapton rewrote and re-released in the 90s, further removing it from any association with poor, dead, forgotten Duane Allman.

 
 

Dude the Allmans are in the middle of about a 20 show sold out run at The Beacon on Broadway right now. They’re hardly forgotten.

 
 

“Dude the Allmans are in the middle of about a 20 show sold out run at The Beacon on Broadway right now.”

I won’t be making an appearance.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

“They’re hardly forgotten.”

Sure. Their core audience of aging white guys who neither know nor care about contemporary music is still holding on to the music of their youth. I understand.

 
 

The South will rise again

No I won’t. Let’s face it, I’m pooped.

 
 

Snore, Johnny, snore. We’ve heard it all before.

That’s called staying power, my stoopid punk bitch friend, something that lame-ass punk music simply doesn’t have.

 
 

Johnny thinks that the fact that he blows with the wind, following the latest fashions is some kind of artistic virtue. Snicker, snicker.

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

Funny how albums by punk bands (The Clash, Sex Pistols, Television) top the lists of best albums of the 70s, but there’s no inclusion of the Allman Brothers or Duane Allman by himself. Hmmph. Must be an oversight by all those music critics.

 
 

The critics? ROTFLMAO. I could give a shit about the critics.

BTW: Live At The Fillmore East is widely recognized as the greatest live album ever recorded.

And in the battle of punk v. classic rock on the list of greatest albums: read’em and weep, son. There’s a lot more classic rock than punk in the Rolling Stone top 500 (since that seems to be the kind of thing you put stock in).

 
Johnny Coelcanth
 

Just point your earhorn at the Victrola, Dad. It’s playing your favorite song.

 
 

BTW Johnny, you freaking tard, its coelAcanth.

 
Pointless Arguments about Bad Music
 

If any of you S,N regulars participating in this piss-a-thon ever complain about “troll feeding” in the future, you will be banished to this thread and this thread alone throughout all eternity.

That is all.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“BTW Johnny, you freaking tard, its coelAcanth.”

Thanks, fuckface. Very neighborly of you.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“if any of you S,N regulars participating in this piss-a-thon ever complain about “troll feeding” in the future,”

I’m not a regular. I’m more of a diffident hanger-on.

 
 

Johnny is “more of a diffident hanger-on”

you know, like a shy dingleberry, lololol

 
Pointless Arguments about Bad Music
 

I’m more of a diffident hanger-on.

Well, that’s a horse of a diffident color.

 
 

And the judges have reached a unanimous decision:

Johnny has been officially pwned.

Better luck next time, Johnny.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“Johnny has been officially pwned. ”

I like it when the old guys use hipster terminology. It’s cute.

 
 

Dear Feste:

bite me.

 
your alien overlord
 

Turning you against pork is the first step in the Muslin takeover.

 
 

Man, if she doesn’t write in the most defensive language I’ve ever seen. The subtext screams through the lines. Clearly she’s defiant as hell at somebody. I’m not sure who but it could reflect some mighty self-hatred.

 
 

The first step in the Muslin takeover lies in defeating the bastard fabrics twill and piece-of-shit cotton duck.

 
 

It took Patti Smith to make “Midnight Rider” sound halfway listenable.

[/obligatory foolfeed]

 
 

Lydia Lunch plays better slide guitar than Duane Allman ever did.

 
 

opie_jeanne:

grrrrrooowwwwll!!! I’d love to bite your little niblets, candypants. And while we’re at it, I will introduce you to my patented up-on-the-backstroke technique that’ll leave you squealing like a stuck pig. Doh! Don’t let Michelle Malkin find out!

 
 

@J Neo:

Dude if you want to bait the alleged troll, you have to sound at least half way sincere

 
 

I mean every word I say. I’ll put “Orphans” by Teenage Jesus And The Jerks up against the entire Allman brothers catalog any day. Now THAT’S music.

 
 

You’re dyin’ out there, Marv

 
 

How dare they waste money on infrastructure, education, and human services. Don’t these naive’ people realize that there is serious killing to be done. We cannot be secure unless the military is powerful enough to destroy the American middle class. I’d like to see Malkin with a tin cup in any downtown metro area panhandling for increased military spending because there are too many enemies inside America. Enemy is anyone who does not believe in the corporate states of America. The enemy is easy to detect. Look out for people who actually respect the Constitution rather than just act as if they do. They are also prone to believe that the “rule of law” applies to everyone. People don’t seem to realize that there are, in fact, superior individuals to whom the law should never apply, because everything they do is for our own good and history will exhonorate them. “Just you wait,” is a stalling tactic. Once again, the people are “so” behind the times, both in cynicism and callousness that they did not see the sea change toward practicality and realism with their aphorisims: “If the Lord did not intend for suckers to be exploited, he would not have made so many of them.” “It is always better to kiss a superior’s ass than be honest with him or her, because honesty is the privilege of fools.” “Obedience to men is the centering chakra of human existence, and the sooner people learn this the greater the contempt their superiors will have for them.” “Self-loathing is the greatest boon to capitalism known to man, because it pacifies consumers as they look for answers from the few who hate them.” (example: when republican leaders look toward Karl, Newt, and Rush for answers, as they use self-loathers like Malkin to carry their water)

 
 

Please excuse the above post, I had a “Malkin Moment”. (mm) Its nearest equivalent in psychiatry is an epileptic seisure..

 
A Different Jake H.
 

I just had a terrible thought. What if Feste is actually Bill O’Reilly slummin’ it on the intertubes? It would explain oh-so-much.

 
 

Cause I’m unique, I’m unique
And you know I got my own technique

This is your idea of a rhyme, mechanique? You couldn’t get by in a squeak! Your lyrics are lousy and your melody’s weak.

 
 

The critics? ROTFLMAO. I could give a shit about the critics.

Ahhhhhhhh, the endearing sound of Artistus Failus…

Fortunately, I keep a scrapbook of my reviews.

 
 

Every time I see a picture or Malkin making one of those faces I think of a Twilight Zone episode in which a dying man hosts his family (son, daughter-in-law and their two children) for a (New Year’s ???) dinner and has them wear masks until have midnight. When they take the masks off their faces have been changed to match the ugly and evil form their mask had. (Do people remember this episode?) Malkin’s face just makes think that she’s screwed it up in anger and hate so often and for so long that sometime in the future she won’t be able to look any other way.

 
 

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