HAHAHA pastor Swank?

innersting da way youze crop the original where da swanksta suppozizzle iz?

Yeah but which Miami Dolphin is that!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit. Seriously? Or is this the best photoshopping I’ve ever seen?

Oh my fucking God, that is the good Pastor! I see he removed his Lee Press-On Chin Cleft for the occasion. I don’t blame him. Those things fall off easily. I wonder what action he’s got going with that androgynous-looking person to his left? A little frottage, maybe?

Anyone willing to play “Help the N00b”?

Who the fuck is the “Pastor”?

Nah, that’s not my penpal Pastor Swank. Evangelical wingnuts will never wear a clerical collar, even as a disguise. Guaranteed.

Who is the Swankster? Well, he has his own site:
http://www.truthinconviction.us

Typical swankster prose:

“It was under the Clinton regime that the build-up took place in the Muslim murderers? minds to do in the democracy they labeled ?The Great Satan.? Zealots don?t need much to enflame their hatred and anger into perverse action.

During the Clinton years as America was asleep regarding the Muslim threat, the Muslim underground bloodthirsty leadership kept honing its agenda to do in the North American continent, especially the United States.

When Mr. Bush spoke this week to the Clinton years, he finally gave forth the truth about that lack of precision, the lazy approach to Muslim attack potential, and keeping the Chief Executive office running ?per usual.?

The weak response from especially Clinton?s leadership so-called was evident in his response to terrorist attacks that happened mostly under his administration. That lack of energy from Clinton?s team spun the al-Qaida enthusiasts to head for the 9 / 11 plow-ins. And the rest is horrific history… “

It’s good to see Jesse Jackson’s face. He’s earned my respect ever since I found out he shared the same sentiments I expressed in this song:
Portriat of Terri Schiavo’s Last Days:
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2005
http://wwww.drblt.com/music/Portrait3.mp3
or
http://www.drblt.com/freesong.htm

Jim Hightower, wow. Wonder if Molly Ivins was there. And honestly, that doesn’t really look like Swank to me. But it’d be pretty funny.

So Pastor Swank IS a mole! I shoulda known…

Hmmm…I smell conservative infiltrations global.

Really? All I smell is one of Dr. BLT’s fetid, self-agrandising posts.

Hey, BLT? Do you know how many advertising execs go hungry every time you try to drum up business here? Quit milking it.

I didn’t do anything to the photo besides adding the arrow-bubble things.

A frightening possibility is that there are Swank doppelgangers….

Pastor Swank has a manly booty chin, that imposter does not. Every time BLT gets on here, I feel like a BLT, well eating one, and then I think “GROSSSS!!!!!!”

PP: A BLT with mayo and avocado might give you … wait for it … PROTEIN WISDOM!!!

Now that’s swanky.

A frightening possibility is that there are Swank doppelgangers….

Maybe it’s Pastor Swank’s good twin…

Protein Wisdom. I need to go over there and crap on them. I hate that place and their dumbo name.

It’s not Swank (pastoral collar makes him bleed from the eyes)… but it does look terrifyingly like him.
Perhaps Pastor Swank is that guy’s evil twin (with a cleft!).

D’oh- that’s what I get for not watching when using copy/paste.

My notes on his physical differances- besides the cleft, this guy’s jaw appears to be wider at the bottom, and his nose is narrower (granted, the angle makes it so that it could be an optical illusion for both differances… but I don’t think so).

Perhaps Pastor Swank is that guy’s evil twin (with a cleft!).

Why am I getting images of that Space Ghost Coast to Coast episode of evil/cooler Space Ghost (with the goatee)?

Yes, I now refer to myself as the “flogged” song blogger, but I must admit, I have only been flogged by a few. When I read Mel de mer’s comments it makes me all the more grateful for and indebted to the silent majority at this site. And I’m also grateful that I have a statistical program attached to my website that allows me to notice who my greatest supporters are, and many come from this very site. Silent majority of Sadly no bloggers: Here’s to you! You refuse to adopt the Amish practice of shunning someone in an effort to get them to conform to liberal groupthink—the practice that is so heavily relied upon by the vocal minority at this site. You refuse to discriminate against someone or try to shame them simply because they attach musical notation to their opinions. You refuse to openly discuss your sadistic, homicidal fantasies about them, and, in fact, seem not to harbor such fantasies at all. On the contrary, you continue to donate money to victims of the hurricane and then download songs that rasie awareness of their needs, even though these songs are written by a conservative. Who would have known that bloggers at this site, and college radio listeners around the world would become some of my greatest supporters—folks who generally are much more liberal in their views than I am? Thanks to the silent majority at this site, I no longer am of the opinion that most liberals are hateful, spiteful, bitter individuals who are quick to judge the motives or others or to bash those who happen to share different opinions than those of their own. Thanks again for breaking my stereotype of liberals.

One nitpick- I would hardly call the Amish’s groupthink “liberal” (yeah, cheap joke, I know).

Hell, if there’s a John Hinckley Jr doppelganger, and as many as eight Fred Crisman lookalikes, I don’t see why Swank can’t have at last one Uncanny Mirroring Conspirator Global.

Dr. Pastrami: was that, like, sarcasm or something?

Thanks to the silent majority at this site, I no longer am of the opinion that most liberals are hateful, spiteful, bitter individuals who are quick to judge the motives or others or to bash those who happen to share different opinions than those of their own.

Well, now that hurts. After all the work I put in.

Hey, BLT? I’m not a liberal. I’m a hard-right, Tory-voting Canadian.

Codelia Chase, is that cynicism I detect? Mel de mer, if we are both Canadians, and both right-wingers, why can’t we just get along? If the vocal majority here are left-wingers, as I believe they are, and if they can give me the beneift of the doubt, why can’t you?

…and if they can give me the beneift of the doubt, why can’t you?

Because you never asked me to…in song.

Here, I’ll start you off with some lyrics. If it goes Gold, I get 40%, but you can keep the copyright.

Mal de mer
Despite your hair
Which has some flair
You have an air…
….of deadly CYNICISM!!!
…oooh yeah..
…oooh yeah
I’m talking C-Y-N…

Anyway, see what you can do. I’m not expecting a John Lennon (boy, am I ever not), so no pressure.

Mel de mer, I’m all for collaborating with someone, I’ve done it on quite a few occasions, but I’m not in it for the money, and I’m looking for someone else who is also not in it for the money.

Besides, Mel de mer, your lyrics are a little to cynical for my taste. Good luck, however. I’m sure you can find another Tory Canuck out there who wants to make a quick buck off of a cynical tune.

No Canadian calls another Canadian a Canuck, BLT. You’ve sizzled too long in the California sun, I believe; no wonder your bacon’s fried.

BLT, for that canuck crack, rest assured that the ghost of John Candy is going to haunt you until you kick your own ass…WOOOO! WOOOO!
.
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.
.
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.
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.
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BOO!

No, Uncle Buck, please, not the ghost of John Candy, that’s almost as bad as the ghost of Pierre Trudeau. Uncle Buck, are you a Buck Owens fan? Whether you are, or not, you may appreciate my Buck Owens tribute, Starbuckaoroo at
http://drblt.com/music/Starbuckaroo,mp3

As for your assertion that Canadians don’t call each other Canucks, Mel de mer, I demur. What about the hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks? I used the term in this sense, Mel de mer—in the most positive sense possible.

I know why doctor, but i’m not going to persecute you.

hint hint

I’d like to thank the silent majority of folks who come from Blts site over to others like this one to make fun of his shitty music. I used to think that only idiots that I don’t agree with would ever go to a site like his and listen to music like his, but then I realized they were just doing it to trash his work. Thank you, silent majority, for making me believe in people who listen to shitty music like that!

You know, after looking closely at the guy, it looks a hell of a lot like my faculty advisor here at college (cept the hair).
It isn’t him, of course- Prof. Sunderland’s conservative enough to make the Doc look like… well, Biden, anyway (although he’s well to the left of CJ and Marie).
Perhaps they’re evil triplets or something, and my prof just uses a toupee?

I used the term in this sense, Mel de mer—in the most positive sense possible.

I wasn’t saying it was necessarily negative or positive. I just think it’s dumb…very dumb. Dumb-ditty-dumb dumb dumb.

Anyway, I’m thinking of changing my persona’s name to “Mel de mer.” I think it’s funnier than Mal de mer which I thought would convey a humourous, sardonic sense of weariness to the point of nausea, tinged with just a soup?on of erudite hauteur (cuz, it’s like, ya know, French and everything). Now, I think it’s just pretentious. Whatcha think, Doc?

BLT, stop playing the goddam victim, if they wanted to ban you you’d be banned by now. Unlike the right blogs (which usually don’t even allow comment), the leftie ones, I’ve found thrive on intelligent discourse with people that have differing viewpoints. It’s called free speech, the same free speech that allows me to call you an ego-tistical, shitty song writing asshole who trolls around here to get people to listen to his unintentionally funny music because he can’t find an audience by actually making a go of it and trying to let the music stand on it’s own, so he tacks on whatever sells. The best way to make a quick buck is to attach a stupid right leaning viewpoint or throw in some false patriotism and sell it to the crowd who wants their views reinforced.

Sorry, but Jesse Jackson belongs with the Freepers.

The guy is, in fact, Bob Edgar, head of the National Council of Churches (or, in its full glory, the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America or NCCCUSA (not to be confused with NCC-1701-D)). I think he was like a one-term representative some time way back. Hey, since he’s the only sort of famous guy in that picture that I’ve actually met…

I’ve decided not to waste time with folks who harbor hatred in their hearts towards conservatives, and folks who have never heard my songs, but criticize them because they hate my politics and wish they could rid me of my right to free speech. When I read the sadly hateful, crude comments of Timmah420, an apparent master of the Amish art of shunning, I am once again grateful to the silent majority at this site. Like I’ve said before, according to statistics gathered at my website, you have donated generously to help those afflicted by Hurricane Katrina, and then supported my music by downloading my songs in large numbers. Though I am aware of your politics, and most of you lean to the left, I will be forever grateful to all of you, along with the Program Directors, DJS and listeners of college radio stations throughout the world who have responded overwhelmingly favorably to my music. You deserve a lot of credit, for putting political differences on the back burner, showing your support for those afflicted by the hurricane, and all the while, giving my music a chance to be heard.

Hey, BLT…look over here….I said LOOK, DAMMIT!

“….”

Ha ha, I shunned you! You are so shunned, dude. You are $h9nn3d!!!

Well I’ll be damned, it is this fellow Tom was talking about.
The light’s kind of messing with his skin and he’s lost a lot of hair, but yeah, that’s him.

Mel de mer, spoken like a true Amish Elder. By the way, though I am a Canuck, and a hockey fan, I don’t want to make the mistake of assuming that all Canucks are hockey fans. But would you be interested in hearing a song I wrote about hockey called My Guitar is my Stick (My Pick is my Puck)? I heard that you were among the vocal minority here that does not approve of my music and I was hoping to win you over.

We had joy, we had fun,
We has seasons in the…SHUN!

Mal de hair, you are showing improvement as a songwriter. At the very least picked a good song to parody, and you are a loyal enough Canadian to have picked a fellow Canadian artist as your muse (I’m speaking of the once-shunned Terry Jacks of British Columbia, of course). As for being shunned, while there is an obvious down side in terms of the alienation, it is the next best thing to being banned in terms of jump-starting one’s musical career. It was very likely what mobilized the silent majority at this site to first listen to my tunes. They refused to blindly accept the harsh, judgmental, pejorative words of a few amateur, self-proclaimed music critics who doubled as shunning Amish Elders, and who obviously hadn’t listened to more than a few lines of one or two Dr. BLTunes. Once they listened for themselves, they apparently liked what they heard, because they downloaded, and downloaded, and downloaded (so my website stats would suggest). Apparently my songs won them over. Or perhaps they downloaded the songs, simply because they had the right to, because they had donated money for relief efforts in the Gulf region. Either way, they are either great fans, or magnanimous givers. Perhaps they are both. Moreover, they shattered a sad stereotype I had previously held concerning left-wingers. I thought that the majority of left-wingers harbored hatred for right-wingers, and used every opportunity to demonstrate such hatred. That’s what motivated me to record the CD, Right-wingers Need Love too. Since Rusty Humphries aired at least one of the tracks on his nationally-syndicated show, I now have to live with the fact that my misguided sentiments were broadcast all over the nation. Now I understand that it is only the vocal minority of left-wingers who are in such dire straits. Their efforts have clearly backfired. So, you see, God can take the evil intentions of a few, and turn it all around into something good—something rewarding to the victim of the vile, vitriolic, virulent insults of the vocal minority at Sadly, no!

A Partial List Of Things I Am Shunning*

-Lima beans
-The boxes the housemate leaves in the hallway
-Socks
-Reality TV
-The telephone
-The telephone bill
-That copy of “Hellboy” which I started watching but never finished.
-Dirty dishes
-The vacuuming
-The pile of new phonebooks on my front porch
-The cat barf that I’m hoping my partner will be forced to clean up if I shun it long enough
-The occasional people who come to my door to try to sell me products including, but not limited to, magazines, newspapers, makeup, and religion.
-The book about fungus-oriented stamps I bought on a whim but which turned out to be not worth my time
-Black origami paper
-Watermelon-flavored candy
-Jock straps
-Cryptozoologists who argue that Megaladapis, the giant prehistoric lemur, lives on in the form of a creature called a tokandia

*”shunning” is defined here, apparently, as things I am ignoring, I dislike, I am not enthusiastically embracing, or I simply find silly or useless. We’re through the looking glass here, people, and into a world that apparently has no use for dictionaries.

Yes, I know I just went meta. But now I get to say I’m going meta meta because I’m double posting! Hah!

(Unless Yosef weasels in between these two comments, of course.)

Yay! My meta-meta comment was undisturbed!
But wait– this is a meta meta meta comment.
I suspect I’m about to spontaneously combust here. If so, someone mock John Stossel in my memory. Thank you.

John Stossel is a Social Darwinist douchebag, who will burn in Hell when his time comes- Jesus will personally berate him before casting him into the pit- I suspect hitting him with a yardstick and shouting “What part of ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ and ‘Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land’ didn’t you get, dummy?”
As to his cynical pleas for mercy, reasoning that Jesus would have no choice but to go easy on him, given His nature, Jesus ripostes with “Nuh’uh: Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. You don’t qualify; should have read your Beatitudes, biotch!”

This comment is dedicated to D. Sidhe, God rest his soul. (RIP, cue Show Must Go On by Queen)

Is that to your liking my combusted buddy?

Yes, thank you. Both personally satisfying, and entirely socially justified.
Of course, being one of those pagan types, I don’t imagine Jesus would like me much better, but there are arcana too dark even for me; and when so many are dying every day from a simple lack of clean, affordable water, a glee-filled defense of greed deserves its own circle of Hell.
Jesus was definitely not a fan of the greedy, as I recall.

Personally, I think this whole “Judeo-Christian” meme is just the vain hope the Christo-fundies have of gradually moving to dispensing with Christ altogether, since his teachings do have the tendency of presenting them with annoying contradictions. If they manage to do this, and go whole-hog Judeo only, I’ll be the first to laugh my off arse at them when they realise that they’re not getting the simple, vengeful God of the Old Testament, but also 5000 years of morality developed within the Jewish faith. Boy, will they be pissed. Just my luck though; by that time I’ll probably have been raptured and won’t be around to see it.

Personally, they should just save themselves the time and anguish and go pre-Christian pagan right now, since that’s what they are, anyway.

The term you’re looking for, Mal, is :
Noahide
(check the Billy Jack bio)

Hell, if Dante was right, you’ll no doubt be put in Limbo with the other virtuous pagans, and of course, there’s a probabilty of salvation for anyone (Vatican II so rocks).
Yours is a better chance than Stossel or Falwell, anyway (Though I confess I would like to watch that conversation at their judgements “What do you mean ‘blessed are the peacemakers?’ I scored you thousands of converts?”. “What do you mean ‘they don’t count’, I’m more Christian that you!”)