Yeah, we were really wondering about that one

Showing that he either can’t take a joke or that his readers are even dumber than he is, Andrew Sullivan posts the following “clarification” today:

To clarify: I didn’t say I’d support Dean over Bush or that I agreed with everything Dean has said.

Along those lines, let us offer additional clarifications for those DailyDish readers evidently too obtuse to understand the instructions on a bottle of ketchup:

George Bush: To clarify: gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
Donald Luskin: To clarify: I masturbate to Paul Krugman’s vacation pictures.
Ben Shapiro: To clarify: I’m a virgin now.
Kyle Williams: To clarify: I will always be a virgin.
Meghan Cox Gurdon: To clarify: I named my son Paris Cox because I don’t love him and only wanted girls.
Thomas Sowell: To clarify: my kidneys aren’t for sale but I have enough money to buy every kidney in America. And if it weren’t for the nanny state, I would.

Readers are invited to submit their own (though hopefully funnier) “clarifications” in the comments.


Comments: 11


Glenn Reynolds: To clarify: I cut my own hair.


George W. Bush: To clarify: I don’t even know how to pronounce “imminent threat.”

Ann Coulter: To clarify: McCarthy makes me moist.


George W. Bush: To clarify: 9/11

David Brooks: To clarify: Democrats suck

Charles Krauthammer: To clarify: Democrats are nuts

Rush Limbaugh: To clarify: drug addicts are scum and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, except for me

Bill Bennett: To clarify: we need more morality in America, but gambling and B/D with whores are fully consistent with that


John Ashcroft: To clarify, I’m not covering up any more boobs.


Bill O’Reilly: To clarify, I never said that I won a Polk award.

Sean Hannity: To clarify, when I asked God to deliver us from evil liberals, I didn’t mean YOU, Alan, since you actually help the conservative cause.


Bill Hobbs: To clarify, I never said that the WMD would ultimately be found.


Donald Rumsfeld: To clarify, do we now know that those things which we didn’t know that we didn’t know have turned out to be less knowable than we thought we knew? You can’t absolutely rule that possibility out. But if you say we said that we knew these things, and we didn’t, you’re just ignoring all the profound levels of uncertainty which are just a natural, inevitable part of what has been justly called “the fog of warmongering.” And you’re a Hitler-loving queer.


Amber Pawlik: To clarify: I love cock, like any normal woman, but women who love too many cocks are apt to become lesbians, which is sick.


John Derbyshire: To clarify, I don’t enjoy pornographic stick figures.


Paul Krugman: To clarify: we’re fucked.


GW Bush: To clarify, this week’s bright shiny deflecting things are the Moon and Mars.

GW Bush: To further clarify, we’re planning big, bold missions to planets I can spell.


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