Popping open a can o’ duh

From the diaries at Kos:

My third grader daughter came home from school crying yesterday. The substitute teacher had asked the class where they were born. She raised her hand and said “I was born in the USA.”

Immediately the chorus came from boys in her class: “Shoot her! Shoot her! Shoot her!”

We live in Canada, we are all Canadian. My wife is from Canada, I became a citizen a couple of years ago and since our daughter was born in the US, like me she is a dual citizen. This is all really beside the point, though.


I brought this up with the regular teacher this morning and she told me that she would address this issue immediately. As I left the school, the children were filing in. I told my daughter to have a good day, but she had been swarmed by this group of boys, one of which was saying “You are an evil USA person!” and pointing at her menacingly with a “gun” finger. I told the lot of them that it wasn’t right to make fun of someone because of where they were born and that our daughter was in fact Canadian.

Not Canadian enough, apparently. The proper deflective answer to the question, “Where are you from?” is “Sudbury.”

Note to American Wandervogeljugend: Definitely leave the Canada flag on the backpack whilst wandering and vogeling through Canada, these days. And if someone mentions the Heritage Foundation, calmly assume they mean these guys.

Why, oh why, does everyone hate America? Why, oh why-oh? (Me-o-my-o, catfish-pie-o, on the Bayou?)


Comments: 24


Proving once again that children are cruel, evil and vicious little bastards wherever you go…
Seriously though… that sucks.


<sarcasm>Glad to see America still inspires respect from its neighbors at least.</sarcasm>


It’s sentiments like this that get me steamed at my fellow Canucks sometimes. Yes, I have several issues with the US government–and with many of the previous US governments. Yes, I occasionally find the parochial attitudes of some Americans grating. But I don’t see why we as Canadians need to adopt this “holier-than-thou” attitude regarding our neighbours. It’s generally a case of “X is better here than there.” Whether it’s the case or not, I prefer to define our national identity based on who we are, not who we’re not.

I guess I have more perspective. Being addicted to the lefty blogosphere, I’m very aware that there is a lot of internal opposition to the same policies most foreigners don’t like either.

I still consider the US to be Canada’s greatest friend and ally. And when your friend is acting inappropriately, I don’t consider it appropriate to trash them publicly and openly(something a lot of our politicians don’t understand).


I don’t know why they do that, and it’s kind of hurtful. I think our self-flagellation has caught on, but it’s the sort of thing that’s OK when we do it, rather offensive when others do it. We liberal USA-ers like Canada, and are happy to live below Canada and acknowledge the things Canada does better. But it’s also true that Canada seems to be heading the way we are, just 5 or so years behind the curve. I hear fundy conservatism is greatly on the rise there, for example. I don’t say any of this to criticize the Canaders (my new descriptive noun for them–cute, no?) but to point out we’re all human and all basically alike. No one is immune to stupidity just because they live in a particular country. Maybe they’ll see how awful right-winger-in-the-name-of-Jesus-freakism is when taken to its extreme, use us as a cautionary example, and head off in a different direction.Although, god forbid anyone should read my second sentence and think that I agree with those who say lefties who apologize for the US are the ones doing damage to our international reputation. I think we all know our government does that quite nicely without our help.


The Aussies are showing their love, too.” Now I know why the waiter at Outback kept calling me “Sepo”.


Currently I’m attending a Canadian university. Most people aren’t that bad, but some just start going off on the American government the moment you mention you’re American. But that’s nowhere near as irritating when some chick starts talking about how she doesn’t like Americans in large groups.

The only solution is to make that Americans, and only Americans are allowed to rant about their country. Damnit, some relative of mine fought in some war to kill some people, to preserve…something. And that gives me the right to bitch about America.


Harry Cheddar’s article is a doozy. But what made those kids think “everyone loves Americans” in the first place? They must have been listening to the propaganda-like words of Dear Leader or of those through whom the propaganda filters down.


I don’t think any of y’all have figured out what this really means. Obviously, Seb has left Germania and returned home to Canadia to poison the minds of all the children there with his vile America-hateration.

Damn you, Seb!


for the record, I believe the correct answer is: “Sudbury, eh?”


Seriously now, what should furriners think about us?

A large portion of Americans are, well, mentally ill.

Obviously 8-year-olds are a product of their parents and can be silly and cruel everywhere, but what should I expect if I ran around as an adult fuckstick talking about kicking everyone’s ass and how much better I was than everyone else and how we were “defending freedom” by killing a bunch of innocent people?

I guarentee that even the most anti-American Aussie would back down if when they said “isn’t your President an asshole?” and said American responded “Yeah, he fucking is. Sorry about that”. Then it’s drinks all around, no hard feeling.

Insist on talking about how Jeebus killed the queers in New Orleans and how W is the second coming and how super-special we all are and I’ll abuse you myself goddamnit.

The world is just finally fed up with our idiotic bullshit and we’re just now catching on.


But why discriminate against someone before they prove themselves to be an asshole as an individual?
That’s really quite unfair- and something counter to our (theoretical)ideology.


The analogy to refugees from Nazi Germany being stuck with the hated label ‘German’, irrespective of their actual views, which presumably were anti-nazi, leading them to become refugees, may be helpful. Or again, it may not.


Australearn’s Australian director, Shelia Houston, … said some students suffered culture shock because of the belief that everyone loved Americans.

If that’s the impression recent high school grads have gotten before going overseas to study, then I have to agree with conservatives and say that our public schools have failed.


Australians have no business feeling superior to Americans with their fucknub ass-licking Prime Minister and their own significant dumbshit racist and fundy population. So they should shut their dumbfuck asses up!

Of course I’m only allowed to say that because I’m from there.


When this anti-Americanism in Canada was first addressed head-on several years ago, scolds on both sides of the border put up defenses such as “typically smug Canadian”, “knee-jerk anti-Americanism”, “petty jealousy” (…because Canadians weren’t getting enough room at God’s Freedom Trough) and so on. Rarely were actual issues brought up (trade, border security, the whole ‘Iraq thing’, etc.) which, as troubling to a lot of Canadians as they are, were dismissed as fretting. Years later, attitudes have definitely hardened, and children pick up on this.

This is all very sad.


Well I guess being a canuck I have to weigh in… I take great pride in never judging anyone until I know what they’re about, I’ve had quite a few buddies from down south, and most of em are just like me and I love em like brothers… For the most part (and I’ve read recent articles on it) conservatism does not seem to be on the rise here. (One needs to only look at the recent gay marraige debate to see that, fire and brimstoners were largely marginalized and rediculed by the media and the populace)There also seems to be alot of reactionary hatred of America and Americans in general, some for good reason and just as often not for good reason. At times it does seem fairly discriminatory.

Having said that, when I see some asshole with 5 SUV’s in their driveway and all of them have Bush/Cheney ’04 bumper-stickers on them, I see red.

Especially as of late, certain issues have been real hot-button ones, mostly involving the western provinces. Trade tariffs on softwood lumber is a huge issue, as is the recent arrest of Marc Emory by American agents (charged with selling Ganj seeds and paraphenalia over the net to America. (In case people are unfamiliar with British Columbia or Vancouver island, they are well known worldwide for both the quantity and quality of Marijuana they produce.)

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m just as mad at my government for letting them in, but I’ve seen goddam texas rangers in BC. I’ve been stopped by them when they set up a roadblock (which I hear they’ve been doing all over). What the fuck business do texas rangers have in BC you ask? That’s right, stopping the evil green stuff from going south, they demanded to search my car and myself. I (being known to indulge from time to time, heh) told him to go copulate with himself and get back to redneckville, he didn’t take to kindly to that, but I guess the arrangement with the BC government is tenuous at best because he was unable to force anything on me. I think that’s the biggest problem Canada has with Americans, and for that matter the reason many nations are unfriendly towards America is that they have the image of a billigerent nation that tends to try to force it’s ideals on sovereign nations. Tactics like the ones I was talking about, just reinforce that belief wether it’s accurate or not.


(In case people are unfamiliar with British Columbia or Vancouver island, they are well known worldwide for both the quantity and quality of Marijuana they produce.)

:cough: I’ve ah… never heard anything to that effect, er… no, never.
Excuse me…


What? Where the fuck do we get off sending stormtroopers into Canada to stop the deadly marijuanna trade? It’s obnoxious and stupid.

And secondly, do you have to rub our noses in the gay marriage thing all the time? Yes, we get it that you’re lucky enough to live in a country that not run by religious dipshits. Must you keep bringing it up?

Down here, our choice of President was limited to the guy who thought that gay marriage was bad for the country, and the guy who thought that gay marriage was bad for the country. Damned America.

But I refuse to let Canada win! Someday we’ll have the authority to make fun of your quaint accents, love of hockey, and consistantly bad movies! This I vow!


Down here, our choice of President was limited to the guy who thought that gay marriage was bad for the country, and the guy who thought that gay marriage was bad for the country. Damned America.

Actually, our choice was between two dweebs who personally didn’t give a rat’s ass one way or another regarding same-sex marriage, but allowed political advisors to have them say, in the case of one, that he thought it was bad, but civil unions might be OK, someday… maybe. The other made it seem as though it’d be the end of the world. Lucky us-we got the latter dolt.


As a citizen of both Canada and the United States, as someone who has lived in both countries, and, as a member of U.S.eh? (a rock band committed to the expressed goal of using music to unite Canadians and Americans, consisting of one member who lives in Canada, one myself, who resides in the US), I’d have to say that most fellow Canadians that I’ve met who are bitterly critical of the United States have not bothered to read anything but left-wing extremist literature on the US. As for the country moving in the direction of becoming conservative, there is no basis whatsoever for drawing that conclusion. The fact that Fox news is now available on their TV screens doesn’t mean a thing. Look at the policies Canada has adopted. If Canada was moving in a more conservative direction (as long as it wasn’t the case of moving from one extreme to the other), that would be something to celebrate, not something to apologize for. I’m proud to be a Canadian, and proud to be an American, but the pride I take in my US citizenship is, without a doubt, greater than the pride I take in being a Canadian. The hockey is great, but the policies of the government, for the most part, leave much to be desired.


You mean like universal healthcare and humanitarian policies? Yeah that shit’s a real downer.
I’m gald you consider yourself more American than Canadian, sandwich. In fact forget the Canadian thing all toghether, we don’t want you and we don’t need you. (Our music is suffering enough with Celine dion)
I am curious though, what policies? Seriously? Acknowledging global warming? Peace-keeping? Healthcare? Gay marraige? Those all sound really scary to me.


I’ll admit that politics are not her forte, neither is creative risk-taking for that matter, but if I were you I’d be proud of Celine Dion. What would you do if your daughter had a voice like that—recommend that she take up plumbing? No, she may not break any new creative ground with her song selection, (like that band, Cake did on the music video they so graciously invited me to be a part of even after they found out I was born in Canada,)but how much room for criticism is there with a voice like that? Bare Naked Ladies—eat your heart out! That’s the problem with us Canadians, we’re ashamed of things we should be proud of (like traditional marraige, Anne Murry and Celine Dion, politics notwithstanding)and we’re proud of the things we should be ashamed of. Yes, Timmah420, like those policies you’ve mentioned may seem like a walk in the park to you. Have you ever bothered to read the small print?


… Yes. I live the small print asshole. I live in Canada and I’ve been to the states. I get free healthcare. When I was in high school they taught safe sex. They gave out condoms. People know their rights, I know women who have had abortions, my *mother* included, and who say it was the right choice to make. Unlike you (i imagine), some of my friends are gay and they were openly gay thoughout their lives and I’m proud to be somewhere where they aren’t yelled at in the streets and beat up.
The last time I was in arizona, regularly, black people would come up to me and ask me where I was from. When I asked why they said they could tell by the way me and my group simply looked (or didn’t look) at them. One of those experiences was followed by 3 police cars with deputies that jumped and beat (before arresting) a group of mexicans that had just finished working at burger king and were just standing around. So anyway what fine print are you talking about? Heres Some of my fine print for you to look at while i wait for yours.
In proportionate terms, 35 percent of all excess U.S. deaths occurred to nonwhites, a percentage twice as high as the share of nonwhites in the U.S. population in 1998. But even among the more homogenous white American population alone, there were 164,756 excess deaths in 1998 as compared with Canadians.Rates for all homicides are 3.8 times higher in the United States than in Canada. For 1987-96, the average homicide rate was 8.8 per 100,000 people in the U.S., compared to 2.3 per 100,000 in Canada. Rates for all robberies are 2.4 times higher in the United States than in Canada. For 1987-96, the average robbery rate was 238 per 100,000 in the U.S., compared to 101 per 100,000 in Canada.*

UN Human Development Index**:
Number of times Canada has been Number 1 since 1980: 9 (Has the US, even once? Sadly, no.)
Note:I’m not trying to gloat or kick the states while you guys are down, but BLT is pissing me off, and I’m trying to show him whut for dad gummit.

*Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics: Canadian crime statistics, 1996. (Catalogue 85-205)

**The HDI measures the average achievements in a country in three basic dimensions of human development:

A long and healthy life, as measured by life expectancy at birth.
Knowledge, as measured by the adult literacy rate (with two-thirds weight) and the combined primary, secondary and tertiary gross enrollment ratio (with one-third weight).
A decent standard of living, as measured by gross domestic product (GDP) per capita at purchasing power parity (PPP) in USD.


It would appear that Canada is becoming less conservative, although that may simply be the fact that the right-wing party in Canada is so monumentally inept that Charles Manson has a better chance of becoming Prime Minister than Stephen Harper. Everyone hates the Liberals — they just hate the Conservatives even more.

And, Christopher (good name!) — our accents aren’t exactly “quaint”, since there really isn’t any such thing as a “Canadian” accent. Accents tend to be regional — in Toronto, we have what would best be described as a “Great Lakes” accent, which is virtually indistinguishable from that of Michigan or Wisconsin. Likewise, Albertans sound like Montanans, & Vancouverites sound like the inhabitants of Seattle.

There is the “eh” thing, of course, but even the Terminator speaks like that — “Nice night for a walk, eh?”

Chris, former North Carolinian & current Torontonian


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