Shorter Bill Kristol
Posted on February 25th, 2009 by Brad
- Obama spent so much time talking about the economy and barely mentioned my wars! My precious, precious wars! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Wow. Kristol’s ability to be wrong is just astounding. Obama didn’t talk about the wars because they snuck out a revised Iraq drawdown timetable today adding three months and 30-50k troops still to be there until 2011, and the admin was hoping to bury that news. I guess they succeeded, if newspaper employee Bill Kristol didn’t notice. He should be gloating, and he doesn’t even know it.
Perhaps all his wars have ended and nobody wants to tell him! All those people sniggering behind his back because he doesn’t know!!!
Perhaps it would be best if Mr Kristol attempted to sneak over the border into Afghanistan from Pakistan to make sure nobody had stopped his war. While dressed up like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. That would be even better.
Bill Kristol:
Iran is nowhere near building nuclear weapon (seriously, a metric ton of low enriched uranium? get outta here), but Billy so wants it to be true that he can’t contemplate the possibility of a world in which it isn’t. Or a president who doesn’t act as if it’s true.
Po’ Billy K.
.
That was pretty weak. Come on, Kristol, you can troll better than that.
Wars cost scratch, even unnecessary ones. No scratch, no more Mission Accomplished banners, even preowned ones.
What is the Republican’s new/old slogan again?
Zillions for offense, not one penny for sick children?
Something like that?
And I am very happy for you, Jennifer. Obviously you were a bit of gold waiting for other employers to discover you.
Come on guys. I’m sure Kristol Meth was equally irate when NoKo tested a nuke and Bush did NOTHING.
Bill Kristol sees point.
Bill Kristol understands point.
Bill Kristol completely ignores point, and proceeds to write incoherent column.
Ahh, Billy that is the true joy of diplomacy. Instead having to drop bombs, Obama plans to ship you, Friedman, and Limbaugh to Iran in exchange for agreements not to enrich Uranium.
Ain’t that Great!?
That’s something you’d be willing to do for the good Ole U.S. of A., right Billy?
Something something something Dark Side…something something something complete.
Bill Kristol is really more Jar-Jar Binks than Emperor Palpatine. He’s the idiot that everyone hates, but he just won’t go away.
Shorter Bill Kristol – “Where’s the fun if nobody gets hurt?”
Obama threatens to ship you, Friedman, and Limbaugh to Iran unless there are agreements not to enrich Uranium.
Fixed.
Whoa, last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
To whom it may concern:
The title of SN!’s main window in my browser is now:
javascript: void(new function () { window._ff_getLocation = function() { return document.location.href; } })
It also shows up like that in the address bar.
???
The fact is, what this nation needs is another war to strengthen our economy.
Face it libruls, the Kristol-Palin-Jindal-Boehner-Shelby party will kick your a**es in 2010 and take this country back in 2012! Then finally we’ll put the
ConfederacyCountry back on track!Hey liberals! Obama already broke the main promise that got him nominated. We’re STAYING IN IRAQ!
I bet you feel stupid now, huh?
Yeah, PaleoCon, Obama’s plan means you’ve only got nineteen months to get your war-lovin’ ass over to Iraq.
Or is your warlust of the “George Bush – Dick Cheney” school?
After nineteen months, we’re going to have 50,000 troops left there
indefinitely. Yet you libs will just sit there and take it up the ass.
I guess we will be there for “100 years” like John McCain said.
Fred Hiatt must go.
I like the irony of a republican gloating that a Democrat is finding it harder than he hoped to extricate his nation from a clusterfuck quagmire that a republican created for vanity and giggles.
Point for you Paleocon! Republicans broke the country even more than Obama thought.
Broken promises, broken promises….that’s all I gave you.
We might even have permanent bases in Iraq.
Whatever happened to “no blood for oil”?
Attention troll wants attention.
That is all.
Lying President lied.
PaleoCon
Hey, whitey, where’s you hat?
One time the spouse and I went out of town for a long weekend and left our teenaged kids in charge. Came back, the house was a bit of a wreck; there were rumors around the neighborhood of the police having broken up a party, et cetera. We killed our children (not really) then all set about making things right. At first survey of the situation, spouse estimated it’d take maybe two hours to get it all fixed back. Then we got into the reality of the situation: rug needed professional cleaning, ceiling needed repainting, broken glass on the back porch hadn’t been properly swept up, and so forth. Thus it took more like a week, and several more sets of hands, to fix the mess than we had originally thought. Moral of the story: When the kids, having proved themselves unworthy of the trust bestowed upon them, are no longer in charge, the wiser adults take stock, perhaps realize there’s a bigger mess than they thought, then proceed accordingly.
Basically, what Dan D said up there a ways.
I actually bet that once U.S. troops are drawn down to 30K, suddenly the Republican SURGE monkeys will have no more traction, and there will be a continual drawdown until practically no troops are in Iraq. Partly because journalists are lazy and stupid.
What got us into this mess is banks loaning out money recklessly and people buying houses they can’t afford. So to get out of this we are going to give these people loans. And we have to balance the budget, and provide tax cuts for the middle class, so if you make under 160000 post tax you’re screwed because you already don’t pay enough, but if you make less than that feel free to enjoy those 52 extra quarters in your paycheck, pay down the principle on your credit card that you used to buy cigarettes since I raised taxes on them again. Wait wait…here comes my confident whisper technique, “We can do better and we must.” The country that invented the car and efficient means to mass produce cars shouldn’t give up on the car. I am sure we can also invent inefficient means to produce cars perpetually, look at our biofuel program, all the starving people due to corn prices are a testament to that. Here comes the confident whisper again, “Hope…Change…etc.” I just like watching that real time poll graph bump up when I do that.
I drink your tears, buddy. They are elixer, and if I get nothing else out of the Barack Obama era I’m satisfied.
I’m getting my popcorn ready. Pretty soon he is going to realize how fucked and in over his head he is, and it will be like Jimmy Carter on steroids!
I actually do really love seeing the righties sh*t themselves in fear of Obama. He’s just continually kicking their a**es, harder and harder each passing day, and Americans overwhelmingly support him and hate Republicans, and they are just unable to adjust.
I offer no comforts nor herbs nor teas to smooth your pain. You will feel all of it, and it will only get worse, and you will either be driven madder or pushed to learn from it.
For myself, I estimate you to remain the weak, treasonous cowards you always have been, learning nothing, and believing that your maddened ravings in a drooling corner are wise and revolutionary insights.
Ha, ha, ha, and the laughter is only beginning.
HOPE CHANGE HOPE CHANGE!!! Oh shit oh shit oh shit I’m so unprepared for this…
PaleoCon
I suggest emigration.
A slow boat to Haifa.
This was not the speech of a man who even contemplates the possibility of using force within the next year to prevent Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons.
He’s not contemplating the possibility of using force within the next year to prevent Iran from developing Islamic Rape Wave technology, either. Or even to keep them from eating all the cookies which Mom said were for AFTER dinner. Or because they’re all furrin and stuff.
Those who still cling to the failed, failed, failed policies of the past and who now realize they have no place else to go, nothing else to do, and no place to hide, except as anonymous pests on blogs, really do deserve our pity more than our scorn.
After watching Bobby Jindal’s rebuttal to Obama’s speech, we have shit our collective pants. Just like The Truth said we would.
That Truth guy must be really smart. Has he ever been wrong about anything?
Troll shows up on Kristol threads hoping he’ll look coherent in comparison.
Fail.
I can’t wait until Norm Coleman finally is forced to give up his lawsuits and Al Franken is seated as Senator. It’s gonna be a lot of fun.
After watching Bobby Jindal’s rebuttal to Obama’s speech, we have shit our collective pants. Just like
The Trutheveryone said we would.That Truth guy
must be really smartis a real asshole. Has he ever beenwrongright about anything?Seriously, we are scraping the bottom of our always-shallow troll barrel. Why does everything we touch turn to shit?
So, troofy, how do you think your guy Bobby Jindal did? Thats going to be some ticket, Palin/Jindal 2012, right?
Just think, the man the Republicans sneeringly call Stuart Smalley will be the same rank as the Republican nominee. In fact, since Franken will be in the majority, a comedian will have more power over the American government than John McCain.
That’s gotta sting. No wonder the RNC is pouring money down the well to delay the inevitable. I hope the Democratic caucus leaves the honour of casting the 61st cloture vote on EFCA to Franken, just to spite them.
I love the comments at the WaPo Kristol column. They’re going about 99 – 1 against Billy.
Actually, I’m starting to think John Cornyn would be the perfect nominee.
Cornyn/Coburn ’12!
Jindal-Palin, Jindal Palin, Jindal all the Waaaaay!
John Cornyn! Yeah! That’s the ticket — wait — Palin … uh, Jindal/Coburn, uh…? O god someone just shoot me. Please, just shoot me now! Oh God.
How’d it go with that teleprompter, Bobby?
Cornyn’s head will explode when Al Franken is seated.
He’ll actually pick up a few IQ points.
Jindal/Bunning 2012!
-GSD
“This was not the speech of a man who even contemplates the possibility of using force within the next year to prevent Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons.”
I truly could not care less.
The Middle East needs a primer in Mutual Assured Destruction.
If Tel Aviv and Teheran decide to incinerate each other, that would mean two fewer diplomatic headaches.
Oh please pick Coyrn.
Just what the GOP needs, another arrogant illiterate Texan!
Bobby Jindal gave a speech last night that he memorized, just so he wouldn’t be seen using a teleprompter. Obama pulls a fast one and doesn’t mention half the shit Jindal whines about.
Bill Kristol wakes up this morning and leaves a steaming pile in the Post about another irrelevant topic.
Y’know, I’m finally beginning to understand what it’s like to be ahead of the curve on issues!
The last Texan kicked your asses twice!
Paleo, thanks for the laughs, really. You add a little more hilarity to an already hilarious day!
More and more I’m thinking that the Republicans were never “good” at winning elections. They lucked into a winning formula and like rats being fed a pellet when they push a button, kept pushing the button. The machine is now dispensing shocks instead of food pellets, and actual rats are smart enough to stop pushing it, but the Republicans keep stabbing away.
The last Texan
From your keyboard to God’s ear, may he be the last fucking Texan to have the ego to try and ruin our country.
actor212
Certainly the last of House Bush, in any case.
That political seed needs to be extirpated.
the wiser adults take stock
What MzNicky said in her little anecdote. I think what’s happening right now is that Obama is discovering a new turd on the carpet pretty much every day, if not every 5 minutes. Take MzNicky’s story about the kids trashing the house and amplify it manyfold, and I think we’re closer to what the new administration is dealing with.
We’re already going waaaaaaaaaaaay down after Hopey’s speech.
Dow Jones Average
That’s not unexpected.
After all, some very large banks are getting a wonderfully invasive proctological exam by the United States Treasury this morning.
G is right, there is some fun tough love getting thrown at Bloody Bill over in the comments at WaPo. Not a sadlynaut among them and they’re really taking him out to the woodshed.
DJIndex (not Average, shithead),
I quote President Obama:
“[W]e have lived through an era where too often, short-term gains were prized over long-term prosperity”
Now shut up, bend over, and take some of what you’ve given us these past eight years…
Can I get a BADOODLE-BOO-YAH for BOSS BOBBY JINDAL? That was a SPREAD’s worth of a MASTERFUL performance, and I gotta say, it even had the Cool Coach tearing up a little bit. This is the man, this wonderful wonderful man, who will take over this country after the Obummer is impeached in a couple of months once the Sillytimulus fails! Ding dong dilly, loony libs, you can take that to the bank and smoke it!
BOSS BOBBY! Ya better believe it! Urban out.
Re Dow Jones Average:
Obama not magic! Economy STILL not made of ice-cream-pooping ponies! Details on the back of your head, just keep turning your head until you see them!
you can take that to the bank and smoke it!
*swoon*
Coach: Compared to how you apparently talk, yeah, Piyush gave an intelligent, thoughtful, mature and reasoned discourse.
it even had the Cool Coach tearing up a little bit.
Yea, I laughed that hard, too…
We thought Obama’s speech was good. Great, even.
Poor, poor widdle Troofy.
(from TBogg at FDL)
Bobby Jindal’s presidential aspirations blew up tonight like a cheap condom on the end of a fire hose.
Whoops, where did Troofy go? Gee, Troofy leaving a thread after getting owned…that never happens.
A confirmed communist and he doesn’t even like wars. What an a-hole.
http://whichwayisup.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/dick-morris-nice-try-you-commie/
I do hope Troofy’s still contributing to the Jindal Presidential Exploratory fund.
For the last friggin’ time, he is from CONNECTICUT.
We’re already going waaaaaaaaaaaay down after Hopey’s speech.
This is what’s known as “a reflection of the true value of the assets” and in the “free market” that you Republicans so adore, it’s how things are supposed to work. Anyone who lived through the last 8 years knows that the over-inflation of assets in the market wasn’t a reflection of prosperity anyway, because most of us were working harder and earning less.
My ex-boss spent the last 3 months I was there obsessively checking the stock market 15 or 20 times a day, despite being constantly told that it was a waste of time and that the market wasn’t going to come back for at least 3 years and that his worth on paper before the market fell was always just a mirage to begin with. Then again, he bought in with his inheiritance when the market was high (2005) so he probably has suffered some actual capital losses…but in an business where he was using every trick in the book to avoid paying people good wages, avoid paying taxes on workers, etc, it was hard to feel much pity for him. If his mother’s estate and holding onto it was that important to him, he probably should have invested in bonds instead.
One good thing the market crash did – it made him get off his “I’ve got the money to buy you out” high horse he was on in dealing with his partners. Now he not only doesn’t have the money to “buy them out”; he apparently doesn’t have the money to keep the business afloat, either.
And WereBear – thanks for the good wishes upthread. I can’t believe my good fortune, that I’m actually going to have the opportunity to make more in a severe recession than I was making in the alleged “boom” that came before it. Good karma is due to all the SadlyNaughts who’ve suffered through listening to my woes for these past 6 months, both pre- and post becoming unemployed. I’m sending positive karmic waves your way.
The Rethug Party said,
February 25, 2009 at 16:47
Seriously, we are scraping the bottom of our always-shallow troll barrel. Why does everything we touch turn to shit?
Get over yourself. You don’t have any magical power to turn things into shit. Everything you touch rubs some of the shit off of you is all.
All decent Americans are plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration. Especially Americans under 40.
If people are reminded that Barack Obama belongs to the same political party as Jimmy Carter, that will surely be the death of me.
Oh please, you guys still talk about fucking Herbert Hoover.
Carter will be a talking point for a long, long time to come.
We do? I thought we were talking about the Family Bush and Reagan, Gingrich, Jindal…
Oh! And McCain, and Palin, and let’s not forget Bachman!
The idea here is, we don’t have to go back 30 years to find a boogeyman.
All decent Americans are plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration. Especially Americans under 40.
Yes, especially the ignorant, unaware, pants pissing wrong wing patsies.
The nightmares of we older than 40 folk, many of whom voted for Carter (as I did) have nightmares about the Republicant party ever getting back into power. Thank the FSM it aint likely to happen any time soon.
What’s really, really gonna piss the righties off is after decades of Democratic and liberal dominance, the entire view of the Carter era is going to be re-written.
Instead of the prelude to the Great Reagan, instead he will be the guy who had the right energy and peace policies, which somehow got blown off for some weird 28 years through some illness, and Carter will actually be quite liked by most Americans, since most Americans already are Democrats and Democrat-voting independents, and the dwindling population of Dixie Republicans can just hold their bitter meetings in the back of some Mississippi cafe.
Heck, we could just rattle off the entire GOP slate of primary candidates for this past presidential election. It’s a party absolutely choking on scandal, corruption and general assclownery.
Your gambit is that, for some reason, you expect us to have the same kneejerk scornful reaction your type does when you say “Carter” — which is foolish and indicative of how limited your scope and worldview is. But please, continue banging on that drum if it pleases you. It helps set the beat for the GOP’s march to extinction.
Shorter Rightwing Christianist Nutbags: Sure, Carter was our first evangelical president and man of impeccable honesty and morals. But he was a Democrat, which means he was Satan.
If coach is for real (can’t tell sometimes here), at least he is honest that the Republicans would happily impeach Obama for mere policy failure rather than actual, you know, “high crimes and misdemeanours” as the constitution stipulates impeachment is for.
Obammy raised taxes! Impeach!
All decent Americans are plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration. Especially Americans under 40.
I’ve never met a single person “plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration.” I guess most folks are either indecent or over 40, if not both.
I think the Democrats should run Dennis Kucinich against Bobby Jindal for president in 2012.
That would be fair, but more important, it would be fun! I wonder if Nader would win?
Jennifer: Don’t forget, since Carter thinks it’s a bad scene when folks are killed en masse, even if they’re Palestinian scum, he is Doubleplus Satan.
Oh please, you guys still talk about fucking Herbert Hoover.
We were trying to figure out if Bush was worse than Hoover, in fairness.
Michael Steele delivers on promise: hip hop flip flop shunizzle twizzle turn’n’burn ….
Three reversals in as many days. The GOP truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
I’ve never met a single person “plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration.”
I am.
His banking deregulation schemes paved the way for the mess we’re in now.
Fortunately, Reagan gets the usual blame for this, so it makes me feel better that I voted for Carter twice.
This is the Second Malaise Era.
I wonder what in recent history caused Hoover to be brought back to mind? Something, starts with a ‘d’, it’s on the tip of my brain… no, it’s gone. Alas, it seems destined remain one of life’s little mysteries.
Excuse me, we Dems are not ashamed of our sexual quirks but the idea of fucking Herbert Hoover could only come from a Republicant.
WP, OTOH, I would like to fuck with a 19″ nuclear powered roto rooter
Even though we control both houses of Congress and have a wildly popular president, we’re scared that Americans will…wait, what are we scared of exactly?
“Even though we control both houses of Congress and have a wildly popular president, ”
I remember that, too.
More interesting trolls, please.
Oh, Actor, you silly, silly, man, everybody knows when someone says “decent Americans” he doesn’t mean any of us.
Besides, it’s not truly horrifying unless he’s telling you to take off your extra cardigan and the “bow chicka bow wow” music starts.
That’s already happened.
Only 29% rate Carter as below average or poor. As compared to 59% for Bush II, and 48% for Nixon.
Nobody Everyone but wingnuts could have guessed dedicating his post-presidency to human rights and peace would improve his standing among the American people.
As for Bush, he has already declared his intentions for his post-presidency, as he told Robert Draper, he will “replenish the ol’ coffers” on the lecture circuit.
That’ll fix those approval ratings!
It’s interesting to note that Carter, aka History’s Greatest Monster™, has continued to serve the country that turned its back on him, while other ex-presidents mostly seemed interested in how much money they could make for speeches. The most notorious example of this was Gerald Ford, aka History’s Greatest Accident™.
Makes you think Carter had some of that, um, what’s the word…oh, yeah: integrity.
Republicants are allergic to integrity. It gives them hives which is fitting, considering their hive minds.
So Truth is losing his mind again, kind of like after the election, only now it’s because Piyush has gone down in flames, depriving Sharia Palin of yet one more running mate opportunity.
David Vitter is still available.
Ahh yes, looking to the past and learning the wrong lessons. Once again.
The Democrat Party, 1977 said,
February 25, 2009 at 19:04
“Even though we control both houses of Congress and have a wildly popular president, ”
I remember that, too.
Carter barely won the 1976 election, idjit. Obama has a mandate.
Besides, it’s not truly horrifying unless he’s telling you to take off your extra cardigan and the “bow chicka bow wow” music starts.
Now where’d I put that bottle of Brain Bleach…
At least spell my name right, you fucking simpleton.
troll tears fall like rain
Obama sings to their souls
echo infinite
“Carter barely won the 1976 election, idjit”
I did have a sky-high approval rating in 1977, though.
All decent Americans are plagued with horrifying nightmares about the Carter Administration. Especially Americans under 40.
Pray tell, how exactly was a person who was at the most 11 years old when Carter left office traumatized by him?
As for the 35-45 cohort (of which I am a member), they should mostly just tonguejack my shitbox. Sadly, many of my contemporaries are the same know-nothings and bedwetters that brought the recent nightmare upon us. It’s been occasionally painful watching formerly bright and promising individuals cave in to their “nightmares” and become wingnuts. On the bright side, their descent into irrelevance becomes swifter by the hour.
Those who remember the failed policies of Jimmy Carter, and those who are about to find out under Obama.
Jimmy Carter caused the economic problems during his term.
Jimmy Carter caused the economic problems that occurred 10 years after his term.
JImmy Carter DID NOT cause the economy in between these two events.
Bill Clinton caused the economic problems during the term following his.
Bill Clinton did NOT cause the economic boom during his second term, but he did cause the economic problems starting 6 years after his term.
I am very confused.
Don’t worry about it, FDR caused the great depression and Barack Obama faked his own birth. Democrats are time travellers!
Not to mention, in 1977, the Democratic Party still had to jettison the likes of Phil Fucking Graham and Richard Fucking Shelby.
Yes, Trolls, the GOP kicks out measured, intelligent, men of integrity like Jim Jeffords and welcomes complete assholes like Phil Graham into their fold.
Those who don’t have incontinence issues when discussing politics.
And people like Troothy.
People who love America, and republicans.
No sympathy for millionaires? Your freedom is at stake!
There are new rules that are proposed by the transportation safety administration, part of homeland security, that would treat private business aviation identically to commercial aviation. One of the results of this could be that if the rules are adopted treating private aviation the same as commercial aviation, Tiger Woods, nor any other professional golfer, nor any or golfer could carry their golf clubs on their airplane because the baggage compartment in the private jet is accessible from the passenger cabin and the clubs could theoretically be used as weapons even though they never have been. So Tiger Woods, he’s gotta deal with NetJets. He flies around on G4s and G550s wherever he goes. If this rule is adopted down the road, he won’t be able to take his golf clubs. Certain destinations he’ll be required to take an air marshal. Every one of his passengers will have to go through a background check. Their privacy will be lost. Air marshals will be required on certain routes based on destinations. Once you have submitted your passenger manifest, there will be no changes allowed 90 minutes before departure.
In commercial aviation it’s very simple to understand. Hundreds of people get on airplanes and nobody knows who they are. In private aviation, pretty much everybody getting on an airplane is known, the crew knows them, the owner knows them, they don’t get on unless they’re known by somebody, unless it’s a charter, and then of course you can understand restrictions, perhaps, on charters. But if they’re owned and operated — or in the case of Tiger Woods, he’s gotta deal with NetJets, he’s a quasi-owner/operator. Friday is the last day for public comment on this and I’ve talked to a lot of people who have called their senators in Georgia and in Florida and other places, and they say, “Sorry, this is national security, national security, national security.” There is obviously no sympathy for this. Nobody’s got any sympathy for anybody that flies around on a business jet these days. But it’s just one more example of the encroaching loss of freedom and government control over everything. Wall Street now is totally, totally dependent on central planners and what they say. Bernanke came out today and said the recession might end this year, 2010 we might get some recovery. At the time the market was up two. It jumped up to 81. Now it’s up five.
The market’s not responding to the market. Meaning, the free market is waiting to see what is said every day by some political official in Washington, DC, before they decide to make a move. Entrepreneurs in this country are scared to death because of all the lawyers waiting to sue them if something goes wrong when they take a risk. So entrepreneurism is sort of in check here. I have a lot of friends in the hospitality business. Northern Trust is a Chicago bank which holds the mortgage on Barack Obama’s mansion that was arranged for him by Tony Rezko. Northern Trust had a big blowout party last week at the LA Open, and they invited a bunch of people and guests and customers of the bank to come out and have a good time. They threw parties with Sheryl Crow headlining one night, Chicago, the group, headlining another night. They got $1.6 billion in bailout money. They didn’t request it. They didn’t want it. They are being ripped over the coals. Even Fox News ripped ’em over the coals today for throwing a big party and having a good time while all this is going on, when what Northern Trust is doing is simply doing business with its customer base.
I told you the story about a friend of mine at a huge resort, Merrill Lynch is the name of the firm. Merrill Lynch was due in there to have an annual seminar on hedge funds in the markets. They make money because they charge the people who show up X-amount of dollars. There was a $1 million cancellation fee that the resort negotiated, and Merrill Lynch cancelled, and they happily paid the $1 million cancellation fee. They thought it was worth the money to oppose the bad PR of having a financial seminar at a resort at this point in time since they got so much heat for $1.2 million one year ago redecorating an executive suite. So to protect us, they’re going to let terrorists out of Club Gitmo, they’re going to turn as many terrorists away from Club Gitmo as Obama can, he wants to give them constitutional rights in the US court system, but he’s going to stop Tiger Woods from taking his golf clubs aboard his airplane, and that’s Tiger’s job. Those golf clubs are Tiger’s business tools.
Now, in 1989, the airlines banned golf clubs in the overhead, obviously. They were damaging the overhead. You can take golf clubs on a commercial flight ’cause you can’t get to the baggage compartment from the passenger compartment. But since you can in a private jet or a business jet, can’t take the golf clubs. In some cases, knives and forks are going to be banned so that you will not be able to dine while aloft. (interruption) It’s difficult to say, Snerdley, that there is one idiot that came up with this. This is the result of bureaucratic-think, but it started last November. This is the kind of thing that happens with the leadership that you’ve got in the Obama administration, authoritarian, central planning, limit freedom, class envy, punish the achievers, it’s all rolled into one. It’s the old unintended consequences. Were Chris Dodd and Barney Frank trying to kill the mortgage business? No. They were too stupid to know what they were doing and now they’re in charge of running the banks. We’re putting people in charge of markets that have never run any business in their lives. I don’t think they intended to destroy the mortgage business and the home business.
Democrats forced Raygun, Bush I, and Bush II to submit wild deficit-spending budgets to Congress.
Republicans forced Clinton to submit close-to-balanced budgets to Congress.
I am so confused.
People who admit the Republicans are finished, and professional liars.
I get a nice pat on the head from the millionaire in the next town over every time I cut-n-paste the above screed on website chatboards.
Most of the time he just calls out his security guards if I get within 1000 yards of his estate, but I do love the pats on the head! They make me feel rich and stuff.
Copypasta a la Chef Limbaughyardi on the lunch menu again today?
I’ll have the instant ramen noodles instead. In fact, after losing my job and my savings under W., I have no choice.
Why do private airplanes need inspections? What do you think you will find? I mean, it’s not like there are rich AM radio talk-show hosts who have planes and a long history of smuggling drugs or anything.
Wait a minute…
Obama is threatening our freedoms and free market system.
We’re putting people in charge of markets that have never run any business in their lives.
Yes, we were definitely better off with an MBA at the helm who had run several businesses….into the ground.
We need more gay hamsters to keep our servers running.
Why do you guys want gov’t regulating us? Look at the great job we do with Free Markets!
And why do you want to tax us more? At one time the top tax rate was 90% and we really suffered. That was the situation during the 1950’s. I couldn’t imagine a worse economic time in America’s history. TERRIBLE TIMES!
Elections have consequences, peeps. If you want to influence policy, try winning. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT, AMERICA HATERS!
God, the rush of saying that still makes me woozy.
Hey, George W. Bush Jr. ran a few businesses! How’d that work out, I mean, other than setting up the Republicans to get their asses kicked for the next 30 years?
“I never got a chance to complete my goal of bankrupting America! WHHHAAAAAHHHHH!”
I just can’t wait for the time when the economy begins to improve and our resident trolls will say that dormant Bush policies are responsible for the upswing.
Economy improve? No, we’ll have hyper-stagflation and a ballooning deficit.
Better buy gold now, before our currency is as worth as much as Zimbabwe’s from all the printing the Fed will be doing.
Two can play at that game, he-who-should-be-banned.
Just in case Oofy doesn’t have his smart hat on today.
Better buy gold now, before our currency is as worth as much as Zimbabwe’s from all the printing the Fed has been doing under Bush.
“We’ll have the greatest recession in history if Bill Clinton gets his way and raises taxes! Mark my words Liberals! In fact, BOOKMARK THEM!!!”
Bill Clinton was a failed President.
I love the idea of slurping up the cum of Rush Limbaugh, but doubt that I can find his wee-wee among his huge rolls of fat.
Republicans feel that both the terrible economy under Bush and the wonderful economy under Clinton are figments of Liberal’s imaginations.
What’s really sad about this troll is that it’s actually become more interesting to anti-troll over at GayPutzRiot. I gotta get a life.
“Wonderful economy”?
Basing the economic health of our nation on Pets.com and friends is “wonderful”?
I weep for executives’ forsaken golf clubs. We really have to keep that in perspective during these times of economic trouble.
Obama caused the recession starting in 2006, as well as all the deficit-spending budgets that my hero Bush submitted to Congress from 2002 to 2008.
Hey, George W. Bush Jr. ran a few businesses!
Into the ground.
I love how conservatives can be wrong, wrong, wrong in their predictions over the past eight years, but still gleefully trumpet their new talking points as if they had any credibility or political foresight whatsoever.
Keep those predictions coming! We’re bookmarking all of ’em!
The dotcom mania that reached its peak in 1998 and 1999 is why Clinton was able to have a booming economy starting in 1996.
Democrats are always using fiendish time travel to screw things up.
Just in case Oofy doesn’t have his smart hat on today.
It’s a beanie.
Pardon me for interrupting the trollathon, but out in loonyland the latest Republican response to the economic collapse is ‘spending freezes’.
Of course it makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but that’s not important.
More than a little slow on this but:
Fixed.
They want this so that the economy will continue to contract. Their goal is to get to a point where the same strategy that the fatcats used in the 1930’s will happen again. That strategy is to make things so bad that the few people that still have money (maybe in Swiss bank accounts that they’ve been using for tax evasion) can buy assets for pennies on the dollar.
I love how conservatives can be wrong, wrong, wrong in their predictions over the past eight years, but still gleefully trumpet their new recycled talking points as if they had any credibility or political forehindsight whatsoever.
Fixed.
We will get a halted economy going again by not spending! We’ll fix the crisis of no lending by cutting the banks’ taxes! We’ll fight a deflationary spiral by talking about inflation! We’ll get American workers’ jobs back by cutting more free trade agreements with third world countries! It’s genius!
From the Wash Independent linked above:
oops, I’m a lousy editor.
Bill Clinton was a failed President.
Greatest. President. Ever.
There are new rules that are proposed by the transportation safety administration, part of homeland security, that would treat private business aviation identically to commercial aviation. One of the results of this could be that if the rules are adopted treating private aviation the same as commercial aviation, Tiger Woods, nor any other professional golfer, nor any or golfer could carry their golf clubs on their airplane because the baggage compartment in the private jet is accessible from the passenger cabin and the clubs could theoretically be used as weapons even though they never have been.
Two words, Tiger:
Fed. Ex.
Tiger plays a game only Republicans could love, so why the fuck should we care?
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don’t.
(Really! I said that.)
Bill Clinton was alslo blond to the threat of Islamist terror and had a recession ad the end of his term.
Also, he was probably the slimeist amd most dishonest, morally corrupt man to ever hold the office of President.
Bill Clinton was alslo blond to the threat of Islamist terror and had a recession ad the end of his term.
Bill “Let’s Keep The Pope From Being Assassinated” Clinton?
Or did you mean George “Let’s Clear Brush” Bush?
Bill Clinton was alslo [sic] blond
Was not. I’d say more sandy-brown. Plus he was totally gray by the time his second term ended.
And Bill Clinton wasn’t blond.
While I was running errands at noon I listened to some of Limpball’s commentary on Obama’s speech last night. He wrapped up the first hour by saying, “The new symbol of America is a big, fat pig.”
He’s such an egoist. He thinks everything is about him.
Don’t get me worng, I think the GOP strategy is great. They looked at the overnight poll numbers and decided that since 79% of us (an uptick of 17 points from pre-speech –link) think Obama’s economic policies are the way to go, and since they established their brand as pure obstructionism to those policies, they brainstorm through the night to reveal their brilliant new strategy of …well…, um, I’m not sure what it is but I think it’s exactly the same strategery.
This is excellent news! FOR HILLARY!!!!!
“Blond to the threat of Islamist terror”. I love it.
Keep ’em coming, parody troll.
Also, he was probably the slimeist amd most dishonest, morally corrupt man to ever hold the office of President.
Man, you’ve never read anything about Warren Harding, have you. Or Richard Nixon, for that matter.
[Bill Clinton was … ] the slimeist amd most dishonest, morally corrupt man to ever hold the office of President
Why, you son of a bitch … take that back!
Recession ad? You mean W’s campaign ads?
Clinton’s nattention to terrorism is reflected in the fact that he was on a month-long vacation right before 911 occurred.
[Bill Clinton was … ] the slimeist amd most dishonest, morally corrupt man to ever hold the office of President
How many redmen does a guy gotta kill before he gets some respect around here?
Man, you’ve never read anything
about Warren Harding, have you. Or Richard Nixon, for that matter.about politics or history.Fixed to reflect the true state of repig “intellect”
Although we hate America, we hate Democrats more, and Liberals the worst. Thus, all we want to do now is obstruction to prevent Democrats from fixing the financial disaster that Bush created.
Also, he was probably the slimeist amd most dishonest, morally corrupt man to ever hold the office of President.
Only because McCain didn’t win.
Clinton’s nattention to terrorism is reflected in the fact that he was on a month-long vacation right before 911 occurred.
It’s even worse than that! Clinton hadn’t set foot in the Oval Office for EIGHT MONTHS!!!!! Criminal negligence, I calls it.
so why the fuck should we care?
While I have no doubt that Tiger Woods is going to be getting his golf clubs wherever the fuck he wants them, whenever the fuck he wants them – let me just state that I stand by the following general rule:
Whatever the TSA is doing, it’s wrong.
Better buy
goldcolloidal silver now.Rush can’t take his golf clubs into the passenger cabin when he takes a private jet to the Domincan Republic for a Viagra-and-oxycontin-fueled underage prostitute binge?
Socialism! Fascism! Racism!
It gets worse, though, than the golf thing — if the Nanny State Obamabots have their way, passengers on private jets will have to cut their fillet mignon with BUTTER KNIVES or something, because steak knives could conceivably be used as weapons, even though that is ridiculous because if they wanted to harm someone they would just order their lackeys to do it. So they’ll be FORCED to have only wagyu (Kobe) beef, which is so marbled and tender you can practically cut it with a fork, but WHAT IF THEY’RE TIRED OF KOBE BEEF? What are they supposed to eat instead? Saffron?
Rush can’t take his golf clubs into the passenger cabin when he takes a private jet to the Domincan Republic for a Viagra-and-oxycontin-fueled underage prostitute binge?
Oooooooooooh, I’m sorry, but according to Lawnguylander and the other bluenoses here, sexual propensities and how they play into hypocrisy is no longer a fit subject for ridicule on Sadly, No!
I’m afraid you have to take back this comment, along with any cracks about Larry Craig, David Vitter and any number of other perverted Republicans you might point out.
I’m starting to see the parallels now: Jimmy Carter (history’s greatest monster) told Americans to put on a sweater, while Barack Obama (the present’s greatest monster) told Americans to check their tire pressure. THOSE WHO DO NOT LEARN FAILED REPUBLICAN TALKING POINTS ARE DOOMED TO HEAR THEM AGAIN AND AGAIN!
What are they supposed to eat instead? Saffron?
Personally, I’m just wild about Saffron.
Are we still allowed to discuss the pros and cons of using two wet suits vs one?
Fraid not, Repig. Not if we want to be fair and balanced about it.
If I can’t make fun of perverted Republicans, I’m taking my diapers and ball-gag and going home. Hmmmph!
I’ve always read there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Personally, I’m just wild about Saffron.
And she’s just wild about you!
If I can’t make fun of perverted Republicans, I’m taking my diapers and ball-gag and going home. Hmmmph!
Well, see, apparently you can’t make fun of a failed governor of the coldest state in the nation for having a pre-marital sex life, so I assume since that’s pure vanilla political correctness, you can’t make fun of anything more perverse than that.
But I know what the word “assume” means…
I just glanced at the TPM home page and saw the lede Christian Right Activist And Porn Star Line Up To Take On Sen. Vitter beside pictures of Vitter, Stormy someone and Tony Perkins. I didn’t recognize any of their faces but I immediately figured the fellow on the right, TP (heh I said tp), was the gay porn star of the trio.
May we discuss the current economic situation? I heard Ted Haggard talked Jeff Gannon down to $5 for a 30 minute session (meth included at additional cost). Tough economic times indeed.
actor212: Not sure I understand. Why would you make fun of Sarah Palin for having a premarital sex life?
PeeJ,
I dunno. You have to check with the posting police. But I’m happy to discuss this.
I was making fun of her hypocrises, Mz N, just as I’ve made fun of Larry Craig’s wide stances and David Vitter’s diapers.
What I find astounding is suddenly women are off-limits to hypocrisies? I thought this was an equal opportunity political meme…
Please schtopp ze pretending you are scared game.
I wouldn’t make fun of anyone’s sex life. Hell, I ain’t had nobody want to get me horizontal since Christ was a cowboy, so far be it for me…
Well then, how about people’s imaginary and or vicarious sex lives? For instance, the troll who’s apparently into fucking Herbert Hoover? I’lll admit I don’t know whether that fits in the imaginary or vicarious category. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
I don’t wanna know about anyone who wants to fuck Herbert Hoover. I got friends who are furries and into vampire shit, and I myself have a strong, strong jones for Tina Turner cira 1971, but that’s just friggin’ weird, man.
To discuss sex, you must go to the blog
Republicans_Luv_Diapers_Viagra_CongressionalPages_Wetsuits_BlackDildos_PremaritalSex_UnwedTeenageMothers_AirportStalls_JeffGannonWhiteHouseOvernighters.com
It is a long title, to compensate for the micro-penises on Republicans.
Guh
Dude, Tina Turner NOW is worth jonesing over…
This was not the speech of a man who even contemplates the possibility of using force within the next year to prevent people from fucking Herbert Hoover.
Weirdness today.
Amusingly, Kristol’s piece is called “Not A War President”, but he ends it by saying the Obama is a war president. In that vein, allow me to present:
Bill Kristol: Not A Total Waste Of Sperm
by Dragon-King Wangchuck
Actually, Bill Kristol is a total waste of sperm.
WashPost can call to offer me a regular op-ed column anytime they want.
poo poo poopity ploop
poopity ploopity poo
poo poo ploopity poop
caco ergo sum
When Irving Kristol said “There are different kinds of truths for different kinds of people. There are truths appropriate for children; truths that are appropriate for students; truths that are appropriate for educated adults; and truths that are appropriate for highly educated adults, and the notion that there should be one set of truths available to everyone is a modern democratic fallacy,” what do you think he was hiding from little Billy?
Not a war president, apart from being a president, during what is apparently a war. Or an occupation. Or a police action.
Perhaps Kristol means that it only qualifies as a real War Presidency if it’s your own war, one you started because you liked the sound of the phrase.
“Very few wars in American history were prepared better or more thoroughly than this one by this president.”
March 1, 2003
This is gonna be GREAT!
/flounder from Animal House
BLART!
Damn. I was hoping “Christian-Right Activist And Porn Star” were one person.
I was hoping “Christian-Right Activist And Porn Star” were one person.
Would that person proslutyze?
He/she/person/critter would proslutyze, and then self-flagellate afterwards.
Damn. I was hoping “Christian-Right Activist And Porn Star” were one person.
C.R.A.P.S.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm….
I prefer “prostitutelytize.” Fun to say, and it has that Ned Flanders touch.
Prostitutediddlyize?
If we are reduced to riffing on TPM posts, there are several threads on the egregious Republican corruption that has destroyed whatever capability and credibility the CIA once might have possessed. Favourite comment:
“seems to me that this is plenty good reason to ban heterosexuals from serving in the CIA….”
Prozza-proslutyze, loony libs!
Ba-doodle-boodle ding-dong diddly diddly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly DOODLY DOODLY DOODLY DOODLY – *explodes*
OT, but after visiting that libertarian site from the other thread, I’ve really had my eyes opened. I’d been told that a libertarian “is a conservative who wants to smoke weed”, but I realise now that this view was shallow and wrong. Apparently they want to bang hookers, too.
You probably saw this already. From the Moonie Times. How did I miss this?
The Republican governor of Utah on Monday said his party is blighted by leaders in Congress whose lack of new ideas…
Isn’t “lack of new ideas” the very definition of “conservatism”? Seriously.
Gov. Jon who?
Oh, I love that photoshop. I need a Sadly,No! Photoshop Tutorial. Have you guys thought of adding such a class to your curriculum here? Other suggestions I have are “Shorter–a Course in Being Concise”, “Wingnuts 002–The Basics” and “Wingnuts 101–Famiarity With the Major Sites”.
More and more people are getting degrees online, according to the ads of online “Universities”, and I see no reason why they couldn’t be choosing from the Sadly, No! College of Snarkyness in their mass of entrance essay mass mailings. Could you all please consider this? We could even have a field trip to CPAC with Mister Leonard Pierce (see, he already has a title!). Just think about it. After all, look at the education you’ve given me? I was still standing up for Pamela Geller when I came here! And I definitely need a course in being concise, this comment is proof of that*!
*Tussionex cough syrup entirely to blame in my verbosity and feeling of complete happiness.
Other S,N! courses:
“Cooking with Cilantro”
“Plodding Mid-Tempo Master Class with Mark Tremonti”
“The Films of Steve Carr”
I normally keep my thermostat around 62 degrees during the winter. When I’m feeling a bit luxurious I might turn it up to 66 or even 68 for a few hours. If I have a date coming over I might turn it up to 70 (the clothes come off easier that way). Every time I do this I think about how there are still Republicans who, 30 years later (!) still resent Jimmy Carter for politely asking the nation, in the middle of an energy crisis, to turn DOWN their heat to 68 and put on a sweater if you’re feeling chilly.
I’m sending positive karmic waves your way.
Congratulations on the new job, Jennifer, now could you send us some Islamic Rape Waves?
“101 Uses for an Overcooked Brussels Sprout”.
“Trebuchet construction for beginners”.
“They’re Fake and They’re Spectacular: the Works and Weltanschuaang of Pamela Geller”
“One Wetsuit is Insufficient”
“Cheetos are a Vegetable”
“Swirling and Tilting: An Introductory Course to the Writings of Ann Althouse”
“Fucking Pelicans and Other Interesting Phrases for ‘Birding'”
“Blart Appreciation”
You probably won’t find “Weltanschuaang” in a dictionary, but in Norse mythology it was one of the names for the enormous schwang that encircles the world.
The History of Wingnut Welfare
Deconstructing Pantload
Nepotism in Rightwing Nutbagiosity
Christianist Godbaggery: An Overview
“Shitmoats for Dummies”
“Anyone can make a Pie!”
“Shitbox Tonguejacking for All Ages”
but in Norse mythology it was one of the names for the enormous schwang that encircles the world.
I thought it was Jörmunwangdr.
In Search of the Elusive Fuching Ferret
Fucking WordPress with a Mack Truck
Goddamnit, that’s not a course title either. THIRD TRY…
“Bookmarking This: A Practical Guide to Self-Pwnage”
Ahoy hoy!
VP here. I’d like the number to this website please so that I can call you on the intertubes in the future. I tried the google but its temporarily out of service.
thx
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Teh Buttocks But Were Afraid to Ask
I am Curious Blart
“Subatomic Kristoline Physics”
“K-Lo, Sweet Harridan”
You’d think this was the troll, but it’s actually funny, so it can’t be.
If it was the troll it would be wanking about plagarism.
“An Overview of the War of Northern Aggression with Bob Owens”
Thousands of Whingnut Welfare Programs teh Liberal Media Doesn’t Want YOU to Know About.
Includes bonus chapter on begging for grills and other neat stuff!
“An Overview of the War of Northern Aggression with Bob Owens”
The author of “Char-Kole Gree-ulls: There (sic) Use and Function”
Curse you PeeJ!!!
WAAAHHHHH!!
“Deconstructing Malkinese”.
“I Gots Guns: One mans explanation of six months of rubbing his thigh in public.”
“Heroic non shagging of everything”-Prager philosophy.
“Point Centrality”
Mall Ninjas – The True Story of America’s Unsung Heroes
“Stupidity for Dummies”
“Nice Things and Why We Can’t Have Them”.
Basic Computer Functions 3.17 Designing your personal pie filter.
Great Republican Speeches: An overview. In this course, prepare to analyze the works of Bush I & II, Dan Quayle, and learn the speech writing techniques of Peggers Noonan. As a late addition to the syllabus, you will study the recent speech of the governor Bobby Jindal.
Composition Nun-oh-one: A basic how-to for aspiring wingnut writers. Section I taught by Ms. K. J. Lopez. Section II taught by the Anchoress.
Aargh! Should be Functions 3.14 on the pie filter class.
Klassic Konservative movies:
double semesterone semesterone week16 minute semester (includes 15 minute coffee break, cookies provided)
Hitler:Fascist Socialist? Well no, but we got all these free books.
Brain Bleaching: Do it corekly ore itz reall bads
CHEW ON THIS, NEOCONS! Pay particular attention to the second paragraph, bolded for your squinty eyes.
Lesley: Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Oh my God it is so sweet. This is ever so much better even than when Bubba was first elected in 1992 and delivered us from the abominable, interminable Raygun-Bush I era, and at the time I didn’t think ANYTHING could top that.
I would just like to take this opportunity to say thank you Baby Jezus and all Buddhas, White Taras, and Avolokiteshvaras from all eons everywhere and always for delivering us to this the sweet sweet longed-for day of reassurance, redemption and schadenfreude. My cup runneth over, and anyone makes a sexist crack will be hunted down and smacked upside the head into next week.
Amen, Namaste, and EAT IT RETHUGS!!!!
Love you so much Bow Wow.
It.s nice to finally hear the President speak and not cringe like a soft tyranny.