Those guys are the same people that brought us Landover Baptist, they start the spoof, and then spoof the spoof. It is total genius. It’s like Capt. Trollypants vs. Pinko Punko on an epic and actually funny scale.

At least that’s my hypothesis.

I’ve seen this site before, and it left my head spinning. Sometimes it seems clearly to be a parody, and other times you think, “No way! This is crazy and real!” I’ve done a little investigating and it does seem to be a real parody, but it involves SO much work that I’m in real awe of these guys. I even printed out and assembled the little Atheist Goat figure. (It works.) Take a look at that page (http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/crafts.html)
–What kind of crazy bastards would go to those lengths for a joke? BTW, why does Mr. Gruff hate coffee and have a coffee mug that says “I (Heart) RAND”???I am happily freaked out by Objective:Ministries.

I’ve been aware of this site for awhile (it’s been around for at least three or four years). It is almost creepily realistic, isn’t it? But I think what gives it away is the apparent fact that “Mt. Fellowship Baptist Church” doesn’t seem to be, um, actually located anywhere.

My favorite part is the bios of the “members.”

For Your Information

The legal authority for local government having priority in most law enforcement situations is the Posse Comitatise Act of 1878 (check sp). Federal troops cannot come in until the local authorities invite them. In NO the situation is even more complicated because the governor delayed in calling up the national guard and then kept it under state
authority, refusing the feds control of the guard and, in the process, hindering coordination with federal troops. The feds could nationalize the guard but that –while legal–would be badly received.

One Side to Two Hurricanes

The wrong side of a hurricane is the northwest wall of the eye. That?s the side of Hurricane Isabel that slammed into my town, Poquoson, Virginia (pop. 11,500) at high tide in September 2003. The flooding was like the big hurricane in 1935. Over 50 homes were destroyed, 200 took water and over half had tree damage in a town of 4500 houses. I stayed home with an adult daughter and my dog to ride it out. We had only one big pine go down. Looking beyond my own blessings I saw one side of Isabel. I saw the best in Virginians.

I wrote (http://www.americandaily.com/article/1780) in the welcomed pride of reflected glory. I feel honored as a neighbor and co-citizen in the Commonwealth of Virginia when I see folks around me living the values of life – first, property – second, and generosity – always. The side I saw of hardship, graced to be absent the pain of death, was tested values working, courage from each person of every age and condition, self-reliance and serving the community, public official competence, and, of course, good works from selfless Judeo-Christian faith.

Hurricane Katrina was much bigger in area, stronger in destruction and deadly. I watched what happened one side at a time.

The first day was the familiar side of expressions of disbelief at the destruction. There was some relief in Louisiana that New Orleans was okay and some caution in Mississippi that their coast was wiped out worse than Hurricane Camille (?69). Then, the levees broke and New Orleans flooded.

The following days were the unfamiliar side of local and state government officials confused and overwhelmed while pleading and criticizing in public, not leading, not taking charge, not following their own plans, and leaving tens of thousands of their citizens suffering needlessly.

And, from day one of the hurricane one side, Liberals, kept up the drum beat of the fanatical politics of socialist junk science. One side, and one side alone, imagines a natural disaster could be avoided by a flawed treaty. This side, that thinks life just happened out of inanimate chemicals and evolved from one species to another, believes the Kyoto treaty would mitigate hurricanes. Like there were no hurricanes before Global Warming? Like unrestricted pollution from India and China wouldn?t cause hurricanes but Western pollution would?

Global Warming is to socialism as ?fetus? is to abortion. Liberals create a new ?scientific? reality to dress up an affront to morality, an insult to God, and a contradiction to scientific knowledge – that will pass test for politics.

Yet, the most remarkable side of Katerina is the ugly political profile of Liberals grimacing to spit out their bile to blame President Bush – no matter what. Furthermore, the Liberal attacks show the overflow of their hearts. Their hearts are cold, calculating, cruelly divisive and hate-filled rage machines. It is terrible and sad to behold.

Liberals look at suffering people and see their skin color.

Liberals look at how much, or how little, people make to measure how much they lost. Liberal sympathy is doled out by class, not conscience for loving all others.

Liberals watch local and state governments succeeding in Mississippi and Alabama while failing in Louisiana and blame the Federal government for criminal conduct in Louisiana.

Liberals expect the Federal government to be nanny.

Liberals say too much of the Army National Guard is in Iraq, but are silent when the Guard is successfully employed by an Active Duty Army general.

Liberals find fault in FEMA for leadership, tardiness, inefficiency, and being re-organized post 9-11 under the Department of Homeland Security without considering the truth timeline of who did what, when, where, and how. Liberals assign, automatically, ?why? things went wrong to Bush?s personal, and America?s national, evils of racism and class insensitivity.

Someday in the future fault may be found at the Federal level. If so, a judgment must be made, as much as Liberals hate judgmental people, on who is held to what accountability. Conservatives will cheer if the judgment was fair. Liberals will stew in self-righteous rage and press on to punish the innocent, if the blame can be given to Republicans and President Bush. Liberals consume themselves with irrational hatred worse than cancer and fiercer than fire.

Meanwhile, the generosity of the Nation pours out to victims of hurricane Katrina. Again, the awesome power of our Armed Forces flexes its muscles.
Americans need to see more of this serving, re-building better side of a hurricane.

Scroll down on the “Members” page, and check out the homepage of Kyle Goldman. The first blog entry about the “Good News Ice Cream” truck is dang funny (as is everything else.)

No, no no. I’ve partied with God, and you sir, are not God.

Anyway, yeah, the parody is sublime. I like pastor “Diamond Jack” Holgroth and the pictures that children have supposedly drawn of Lambuel, the mascot of Objective Ministry’s Kidz Page.

Liberals consume themselves with irrational hatred worse than cancer and fiercer than fire.

Rats, they’re onto us.

God stayed home with an adult daughter and a dog? I thought there was only the one Son?

I don’t know if that’s the one true God, but he/she is obviously a devout follower, as evidenced by the “writing in tongues.”

I’ve been washed in the blood of Lambuel!

I need soap.

“Global Warming is to socialism as ?fetus? is to abortion.”

Boy, if that isn’t a fallacy…

If both sites are run by the same people, they do a damn good job of hiding the fact.

Domain Name:LANDOVERBAPTIST.ORG
Created On:07-Feb-1999 05:00:00 UTC
Last Updated On:27-Oct-2004 09:50:33 UTC
Expiration Date:07-Feb-2006 05:00:00 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:Network Solutions LLC (R63-LROR)
Registrant ID:24451038-NSI
Registrant Name:oddities-inc
Registrant Organization:oddities-inc
Registrant Street1:PO Box 1000 PMB #252
Registrant City:FALLS CHURCH
Registrant State/Province:VA
Registrant Postal Code:22046
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.9999999999
Registrant Email:americhrist@EMAIL.MSN.COM

Domain Name:OBJECTIVEMINISTRIES.ORG
Created On:29-Aug-2005 04:39:02 UTC
Last Updated On:29-Aug-2005 10:54:34 UTC
Expiration Date:29-Aug-2006 04:39:02 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:New Dream Network, LLC (R173-LROR)
Registrant ID:ndn-104679
Registrant Name:Kev F.
Registrant Organization:NA
Registrant Street1:7101 35th St NW
Registrant City:Gig Harbor
Registrant State/Province:WA
Registrant Postal Code:98335
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.1234567890
Registrant FAX:+1.1234567890
Registrant Email:kevf@centurytel.net

Goddamn you, Realist!

Hey, I have been getting visitors from Gig Harbor. Wondered what that was all about . . .

God is a two-bit, lame-brain right wing troll??? Man, now my faith is REALLY shaken…

You know what’s really funny? Typing in the wrong

http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/crafts.htm

Behold, baby Jesus!!!

God, suck it (not you big guy, the douchey one).

Curse you Realist with your technology and wiles!

Was G-man actually MJ? I was thinking that the post was a little short for her, or was that a clip from O:M?

Curse you Realist with your technology and wiles!

Dude. Go to Google and type in “whois” – without the quotes, all one word, all lower case. Click “I’m Feeling Lucky” and voila! Instant wiles.

Have you seen http://www.truechristiansunite.com ?
It’s an EZ Board forum, so you can interact directly.

Didn’t know any of you were old enough to remember Velvet Underground.

A great way to show the youths that abstinence is “where it’s at”.

Lucky captain rabbit king nuggets are for the youth!

The “National Association of Christian Game Theoreticians” is on the short list of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my whole darn life.

http://www.answers.com/topic/objective-christian-ministries

go there for source of this diatribe on both Fellowship/Landover sites

This one is more believeable: Lyle Zapato is the creator of the sites. Who has a name like Gordon Schumweg?

http://web.linix.ca/pedia/index.php/OBJECTIVE:_Christian_Ministries

And there are links there to Zapato’s site.