It’s Bill Whittle.
Hi, Bill Whittle!
Bill posts a long essay on why he and people like himself — his ‘tribe’ — are good, strong, brave, noble, and all that stuff, while certain other people recently in the news are not.
Only a few minutes ago, I had the delightful opportunity to read the comment of a fellow who said he wished that white, middle-class, racist, conservative cocksuckers like myself could have been herded into the Superdome Concentration Camp to see how much we like it. Absent, of course, was the fundamental truth of what he plainly does not have the eyes or the imagination to see, namely, that if the Superdome had been filled with white, middle-class, racist, conservative cocksuckers like myself, it would not have been a refinery of horror, but rather a citadel of hope and order and restraint and compassion
…Of incredible, entitled whining with petulant appeals for middle-class amenities until it slowly became shockingly clear that there was no food, water, or electricity for real, and that the doors were locked — leading to barbarity and bloodletting ? la J.G. Ballard, with guys and girls like Bill trumpeting their usual call of “Survival of the fittest! Natural law! Free market!” and ‘competing’ for resources with the elderly and infirm, with weaker peers, and children, while hatching zany plots to rescue everyone with their superior minds, or with Kung Fu ninja powers and/or firearms.
After the doors are unlocked and Bill and his ‘tribe’ herded into the sunlight, Bill wearing six wristwatches and with a bottle of infant formula in his mouth, they stop dead silent in the street, humiliated to the core and looking around with wide eyes and pointed fingers for someone or something to blame. The lawsuits start boiling up immediately, with attorneys arriving by car and helicopter: All damages, from dead grandparents to soiled Ferragamo pumps, start to be minutely tallied to the highest conceivable dollar, and summonses begin blanketing all level surfaces even as the water recedes from the city. Emotional pain is quantified into titanic sums, satisfaction demanded from every particle of both the public and private sectors. Bill writes a long essay on the importance of the courts in a free society. His attorney browses a Lotus dealership and orders real-estate brochures.
And as the nation’s courts rise to a white-hot glow, there continues a months-long, all-media fusillade of concerned blonde-haired anchorwomen and chiseled anchormen raising question after question, exploring angle after angle, about What the Superdome Means to America. Schools and other public institutions provide grief and crisis counseling even to entitled white people who merely witnessed the events on television, as with Columbine. …But wait, let’s start this again.
Only a few minutes ago, I had the delightful opportunity to read the comment of a fellow who said he wished that white, middle-class, racist, conservative cocksuckers like myself could have been herded into the Superdome Concentration Camp to see how much we like it.
Hmm. Yes, but do we have to open the doors?
The comments on that thing are hilarious. Everyone falling over each other praising this magnum opus. Bravo! Kudos!!. You Sir are correct!!! You write just like I think, only I’m too stupid to actually put it into words!!!1!, etc. etc. Since when did emulating Ed McMahon become so popular?
I tried to post the following in the comments:
I love how righties-tighties will fend off the accusation of cocksucking and get all sniffy about obsenities, and then, in the next instant, start engaging in the most graphic reciprocal fellatio one can imagine. It’s just like porn, minus the attractive people.
…but it was rejected (blacklisted was the word) I thought of re-submitting it with c*cks*cking and f*llatio, but realised at that point that I really couldn’t care less.
Seriously, he banned you?
High-five!
I don’t think I was banned. I had never even heard of this person before you posted this here, and I’ve never commented on that blog before.
I think it was rejected for reasons of potty-mouth. And the sensibility of that was almost karmic, because it did make me realise I really don’t care anymore what willfully stupid people have to think about important issues.
Even more astonishing than Whittle’s jejeune allegory is the extraordinary line of people seeking to crawl up the arse he pulled it out of.
Two tribes, pink and grey – ooh, yeah, that’s nuanced. I’d always suspected modern conservativism had less to do with ideology than with having an inflated sense of your own self-worth (as demonstrated by the astounding feats you achieve entirely within your rich fantasy life) and this pretty much confirms it.
The term is “schizoid narcissism”. For illustration, see the works of Ayn Rand. (…who failed to become the neo-con patron saint because of her atheism and excessive concern for liberty. Her novels are the purest expression I know of the combination of power-worship and self-adoration that is manifest throughout the New Right.)
h’mmm … who would you believe, him or this guy?MALIK RAHIM: I would have commandeered everything, Greyhound buses, Amtrak trains, school buses, public service buses and had them all filled with people getting them out of harm’s way. That was the very first thing I would have done. Secondly, I would have asked for volunteers. Volunteers of people that lived in the community and that know the community that didn’t need a map to find out where such and such is — street exists. And had them come back in here. I would have had my police force to commandeer every boat that was available. Because everybody knew the flooding was going to happen. You know, to make sure that people would have been getting out. I wouldn’t have left it on the faith-based community. I would have made sure that everybody would have had a means that wanted to leave, or they had the means to leave. Even if I would have took some of these car dealerships and made every truck that’s like this one, I would have went in there and took them all. I mean, what’s going to happen to them? So what if they messed up. They was going to be flooded anyway. So, you are going to lose them one way or another, but it could have got people out of harm’s way, you know? There’s no way in the world I would have put people in that Superdome. Everybody knew that that Superdome was nothing but a death trap. Because if we would have gotten 30 feet of water, how are you going to survive in that Superdome? I mean, everybody knew this. And then when you start hearing the horror stories, last year we had test run. A hurricane came, but at the last minute, it veered off. So, we had a test run. Everybody knew what needed to be in place, and it seemed like — he still got caught unprepared with his pants down. Ray Nagin. No, I don’t have no — listen, the little respect I have for him is gone. Same thing about our Governor. You know, the little respect I had for her is gone.
SHARIF ABDEL KOUDOUS: Nagin got on the radio and gave an impassioned speech talking about —
MALIK RAHIM: It was too late.
SHARIF ABDEL KOUDOUS:?how federal authorities failed.
MALIK RAHIM: But listen, if you get out this car, and get under here to work on this car, and I run over you, and while you laying there dying, I’m telling you about how sorry I am, what good would that do you? How would you feel? Would you feel better? Well, I’m going to die, but at least he’s sorry he killed me. You still dead. You know, that’s the part of it — you know. It’s too late to be talking about who failed. You failed. We elected you to represent us. So, if you was waiting on the federal government, then damn, we don’t need you as Mayor. We need the federal government to run New Orleans. We don’t need you, if you cannot lead the city in a time of emergency. You know, this is when we need leadership. This is when we need for the real Ray Nagin to come and stand up. You know, not to be on no boat trying to rescue people, because you don’t feel — now all of a sudden you have a guilt trip. You know, you should have been out here leading everybody by getting them out of the city. That could have left. You know, I mean, it just came too little too late.
SHARIF ABDEL KOUDOUS: And the Governor?
MALIK RAHIM: The Governor ain’t about nothing. She was — she was just as lost as he was. You know, there ain’t no — none of them know what they was doing. You know, their answer to everything now is send in more troops. Marshall law. You know? I mean, for what? I mean, there’s no reason for it now. Most of the looters and the people that was doing wrong that was stealing for all of the wrong reasons have done left. Now, you just have people here dying that’s scared to go in the store to get anything. Because they are scared that you are going to kill them. She did?t come through here with no compassion. Nothing. You know what I mean, look how long we have been here. So, you tell me she’s doing her [ bleep ] job? How long we?ve been sitting in this hot sun trying to get ice? Damn near an hour. You know, I mean, so, what is she doing? What is Ray Nagin doing when he ain’t got one place in the whole damn city of New Orleans where we could get services from? We have to travel this far? When we get back to New Orleans, I’m going to show you if we could get to this firehouse they got water stacked up damn near to the ceiling. They ain’t giving none of it away. You tell me if your house is on fire, and I come out there with — even if I just have to have a bucket with water in it, you are going to tell me, oh, no, you ain’t got to throw that bucket on my house. I’m waiting for the Fire Department. You ain’t got to go in there and rescue my children because the firemen’s going to be here in a little while to rescue. I want order. You are going to let everybody anybody that can help you, help you get out. I bet you there wasn’t one person out there that was rescued by a civilian that told people, ?oh, no, man, you ain’t got to rescue me. I’m going to wait until Ray Nagin sends somebody here for me. He is going to send somebody.? I know that that’s a lie. I know ain’t nobody going to do that. You are going to jump on anything. That’s the way it should have been done for help, you know? The very first thing he should have done is made sure that one, that the medical assistance he knew it was going to be needed was made available. He should have had that in place. He should have had food in place. He should have had water in place. He should have had ice in place. He should have had generators in place. That’s something that the city could have done. Even if they had to commandeer them from these stores. You know, you have backup generators in every one of these high rise buildings. What’s in them? People not living in them? So, why couldn’t he take them? Or he could put people in them. You know, he didn’t do either. You know? It’s all about property. Everything is about property. I tell you what, look at Cuba. Any time a hurricane — when that — when Hugo was passing through Cuba, and it was about to hit Havana, Cuba — the Cuban government came through there and took everybody out of Havana. I mean, everybody was safe. They didn’t have this kind of madness. So, I mean, so why are we going through it? Cuban government done said that they were willing to offer assistance with doctors. They wouldn?t even accept them. Now, you tell me if doctors isn’t needed when you tell me about the people dying at the airport. But because of politics, you know, they won’t take the aid. You know, that’s stupid. It’s just straight up stupid.
He’s a video editing technician in Hollywood so presumably he spends a lot of time in darkened rooms with no windows watching over and over again simplistic fiction created by people who make much more money than him.
Under those circumstances, who wouldn’t want to imagine himself a tough grey tribesman facing down little pink bunnyrabbits.
For more information, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue_fanfiction
Or look up the definition of: “titanic prannet”
Okay, I just read the whole essay.
Sorry. I laughed at your take on it, but you came nowhere near expressing how utterly fatuous it was. It’s a shocker.
Donald Rumsfeld. Pink. (rejected good advice because it made him feel anxious)
Bill Clinton. Pink. (blathermouth who wanted to be liked)
Ted Kennedy. Pink. (ditto)
George W. Bush. Pink. (no visible connection with reality at all)
Condi Rice. Pink. (gave up music because it was too much work and it made her anxious)
Ronald Reagan. Pink. (hung on for years even though he was having dangerous memory lapses)
And Light Cola Grossman is a babbling moron who wanks over his uniformed reflection in the mirror. Thought I’d just throw that in there.
This garbage about sheep and goats and hagfish is particularly nauseating because there is evidence that the eager young “sheepdogs” substantially contributed to the chaos in New Orleans by wrecking refugees’ efforts at self-help (turning pedestrians away from bridges out of the city, at gunpoint, preventing the Red Cross from entering, etc etc).
At least he got the GOP talking points right, every single one. They’re funny that way.
I posted a comment to Mr Whittle (you have to be careful with his comment machine, it blacklists you if it thinks you’re trying to spam your own blog). Anyway I said this, referring to something he unwisely inserted about half way down the comment stream:I think, though I’m not certain because he seems to have substituted a ‘what’ for a ‘why’, that Mr Whittle knocks one of the central props out from underneath his own world view when he replies to various anti-bushists with the following : “Finally, let me make one thing clear regarding GWB. That man is more flawed, more inscrutable and often more disappointing than any president I have ever seen. I still, to this day, do not know what amateur pugilists like myself have to go out and defend policies that he seems incapable of defending.”
I like how, in the process of accusing ‘Pink’ people of being flamboyant and shallow and narcissistic, he vomits forth 5,000 words (give or take, I couldn’t be bothered to count) of profoundly purple prose, not to mention a dozen or so mangled metaphors — when he could just as easily (and ‘greyly’) remarked, “Liberals are poopy heads! And Michael Moore is fat!”
while hatching zany plots to rescue everyone with their superior minds, or with Kung Fu ninja powers and/or firearms.
No way. Those amoral fucks would be the first to go cannibal.
The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.
On Cheney: http://www.buffalobeast.com/66/50mostLoathsome2004.htm
Copy of a letter to my local newspaper, on Lowry’s latest column, a slightly more high-rent version of Whittle’s fantasy. The “Riverplex riot” and so on are local Baton Rouge panics spread by the arrival of that “tribe” (wink, wink) from New Orleans. What color were they again?
Rich Lowry, one of the new breed of empty suits masquerading as a conservative pundit, does the utterly expected and, taking rumor and sensationalist media coverage for fact, cites the “massive lawlessness” in New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina, and then, not to be outdone in his cliched allusions, cites Hobbes. A great philosopher, the poor Englishman, who actually lived through a civil war, would doubtless blanch at the nitwits who cite him whenever they want to indulge a little authoritarian fantasy. The real story of New Orleans is not the scattered criminality, but our willingness to believe the wildest of rumor (like the “riot” at the Riverplex or the “civil unrest” of Chancellor O’Keefe’s email to the LSU community or the “carjackings” someone solemnly told me happened “right there on Essen”). The real story of New Orleans is not the every man for himself, “man is a wolf to man,” fantasy of Lowry and the other Hobbes-mongers, but the thousands and thousands and thousands of the brave and loving people of New Orleans who refused to leave their old, their sick, their young, their helpless, and who walked miles through the floods to safety, pushing wheelchairs and floating the sick on “looted” air mattresses, along with the hundreds of rescuers, professional and volunteer alike, who found FEMA incompetence a far worse foe than the waters. The real lesson is not that we need order from above to prevent the anarchy that is supposedly close by, but that the solidarity that holds us all together, the civic and human bonds that led all those thousands to stick together, needs only support from a government that needs to be recalled to its proper function as the organized expression of that solidarity.
Xymphora has found a very interesting expanation of the power struggle between federal and state levels here:Dispatch from the Trenches
Essays like this remind me of news reports several years ago of a cruise ship that experienced a fire, I believe, that caused it to lose power. It floated for several days at sea until other ships arrived to get the passengers. In interviews with the passengers, there were at least two young (white) middle-class couples who admitted that they and other passengers were hoarding the peanut butter sandwiches and other foods that they were served, because “you just never know!” I remember thinking at the time, “Good Lord, folks, you’re on a cruise ship, not the S.S. Minnow!” (God rest Bob Denver’s soul.)At the first whiff of disaster, Whittle and his ilk would shout “It’s every man for himself!” and jump to be first in line to make sure their lily-white Republican asses were saved, to hell with everyone else.
This is the same asshole who wrote this durring the presidential campaign last fall. The worst kind of ex-liberal who feel empowered by their new found “moderation” to be racist and eliminationist. People like him – especially him – have to spend so many words on it, mainly in combat the impression that they’re neanderthal half-wits, I think.
I think we’ve all met these quasi-intellectual douchebags who think that because they can keep typing, they must be saying something important.
He’s typical of the former “liberal” cowards who turned to Bush because they wet themselves on 9/11 and didn’t want to be scared when they fly. What is so funny is that he claims to be a sheepdog when he is so clearly a sheep, following the nearest person in authority telling him what to think.
i think you are incorrect on this one.
bill whittle looks like exactly the kind of man who would enjoy living in the superdome, with no plumbing, among feces and corpses.
i think if mr whittle and a bunch of people like him were locked in the super dome after hurricane katrina it would have become some sort of feces and corpse eating paradise for wingnuts.
Rowan Berkeley, where did that come from?
Never mind, I just found it. I think he makes good points, but while it’s true that local officials failed, federal officials also totally failed. There’s enough failure to go around. It’s not an either/or proposition, as some would have it.
This garbage about sheep and goats and hagfish is particularly nauseating because there is evidence that the eager young “sheepdogs” substantially contributed to the chaos in New Orleans by wrecking refugees’ efforts at self-help (turning pedestrians away from bridges out of the city, at gunpoint, preventing the Red Cross from entering, etc etc).Yeah, well, Aesopian pastiche is always a trap for young players. These chaps might think their ponderous fables cover the spew of their Frank Frazetta mindset with a pleasing contemplative gloss, but allegory has its own momentum. For example, Grossman and Whittle both forget that in this day and age the main role of sheepdogs is not to protect sheep from wolves (except in Chuck Jones cartoons) but to herd them into sheds to be fleeced and slaughtered. Sadly, realising that would have required a moment of actual thought, so…
It isn’t from Aesop, it’s from Plato’s “Republic”
Not surprisingly, Mr. Whittle spends a great deal of his time as a semi-professional TROLL on various political message board forums. I first encountered his loathsomeness on Abuzz, where he went under so many sock-puppet identities that he almost single-handedly destroyed the entire forum.
I, too, was “black-listed” from commenting on Whittle’s “sheepdog-grey-pink” nonsense (And my post was devoid of profanity). I suppose prolific right wing commentator’s such as Whittle give the legion of simple-minded, overweight, Hummer-driving, vicarious weekend warriors reinforcement that their world view is universal. When I sent Whittle an email about being banned, he told me “Maybe try being less obnoxious,” which I guess translates as “Stop diagreeing with me.”
“diSagreeing…”
“My tribe! Me! We are good man! we are super type of human! Better! more civilised! stronger! smarter!” It sound like a citation from hitler! Who is this cracked pot of Bill Whittle anyway?
You know what I don’t see here? Not one single e-mail that attacks Whittle on the merits of his statements. I see derision, name-calling, ad hominem attacks. Nothing that responds intellectually or with any analytical depth. Which kind of proves his point.
I notice the complete lack of mention that Whittle praised DEMOCRATS and REPUBLICANS and WHITES and BLACKS. He’s “Right wing” because he says things the Neolibs don’t like hearing.
Instead, this alleged criticism provides no substance, attacks the merits of the producer in society (I mean, really, you’d lock up the people who actually contribute, but you’d be fine letting out the hoods, the trash, the thieves, the looters? Thanks for proving his point), and turns into its own cocksuck fest with the commenters somehow wishing they were men enough to face people like Whittle.
Incidentally, you’ll find a large number of veterans and cops among his readers. You know, those people responsible for all of society’s ills.
Nope, Gavin’s just a whiner who’d like to be somebody.
I praise you, you worthless whiny cocksucker.
Very mature, Mr. McGravitas.
It seems that most everyone on the ‘left’ side of things is at their core a coarse, abrasive, and very unfriendly person – thus confirming my suspicions that the unspoken creed of the left is “we are tolerant as long as you agree with us”.
You guys just cannot take praise.
“You know what I don’t see here? Not one single e-mail that attacks Whittle on the merits of his statements. I see derision, name-calling, ad hominem attacks. Nothing that responds intellectually or with any analytical depth. Which kind of proves his point.”
Well for starters, everything on Whittle’s blog is exactly as you just said, and it’s gotten worse and worse since the Obama election; half-truths, distortions, selectively edited quotes, paranoid assertions backed up by unsubstantiated sources, ad hominem attacks on anyone to the left of him (up to and including John McCain). From the outset, it’s not like there’s a lot of substance for people to “respond intellectually” to.
The way he treats people is also a factor. I’ve been following his blog since 2003, and I recall a time when people (even liberals) could honestly post their disagreements in order to argue with Bill and his supporters. Starting in late 2004/early 2005, that was no longer possible; any dissenter, no matter how accurate or civilized, was viciously attacked by Bill’s loyal cronies (or sock puppets) as a leftist whose testimony was unreliable and not worth discussing because he was imbued with anti-American ideals. Thus, any civilized debate has been driven out; there’s the long line of people kissing his ass, and there’s the occasional critic who, civilized or not, will be lambasted until he shuts up. (Hell, there’s at least one sock puppet ID on that site that only comes out to clean up the thought criminals).
The bottom line is that Bill provokes strong emotions; like Michael Moore or Michelle Malkin, in a much smaller pond, being a pompous, puffed-up, smug, superior, self-satisfied asshole is such an integral part of his personality that people find it impossible to discuss him without venting about it. We probably shouldn’t let ourselves be baited, but what can I say – he’s very good at what he does.
I agree Chris-(I know your comment was posted 3 years ago, but I have to add on to it) I didn’t know if I would ever hear anyone as arrogant, smug and stupid (all the while putting on this “right wing intellectual” show) as Doug Giles, but Whittle is. I watch all of the right wingers doing their thing. Hannity, Rush, O’Reilly, Ingraham etc etc. I try to understand where they’re coming from, see their talking points, but so far, have failed to come even minutely close to “seeing eye to eye.” And you can’t debate with followers of guys like Whittle who have safeguards against that kind of thing (“you’re crying racism” “you’re using the race card again” “What?! Bringing up Bush again!?” ) What I have found is I can no longer watch the PJ Media crowd, as they are the worst around now. Steven Crowder, Alonzo Rachel, and Victoria Jackson Ugh. No more! Talk about strong emotions. I can’t take all that stupidity in one place. I find them much worse than the Fox News people.
Yes, you’re right. I spent some time watching some Whittle videos last night. And now, I have to vent.